NationStates Jolt Archive

This came about because my husband and I played WAY too much Baldurs Gate in our spare time before we had kids. Now we joke about what kind of DnD attributes things have, like say a poopy diaper is stinking cloud + 2 or how my hair (it's very thick) would be entanglement +4.

Do you have any attributes you joke about?

8*waits for some dude to make a vapid comment along the lines of "Yeah, well, I do have this +8 the ladies love, but it wouldn't be polite to talk about it"*

I have Feet of Flippers +3 (big, wide feet)

I also posses Mind of Lunatic +4 (I have Manic-Depression)

Hmm...

My special attributes are:

Retarded hair +4
Irresistable insultery +5
1337 fretboard skillz -10

Well, I do seem to have a cursed necklace. I havn't been able to take it off for, like, 10 years. I need a "remove curse" spell. It must be the Cursed Necklace of Unattractivness. -2 Charisma, -2 Constitution, +2 Wisdom.

This came about because my husband and I played WAY too much Baldurs Gate in our spare time before we had kids. Now we joke about what kind of DnD attributes things have, like say a poopy diaper is stinking cloud + 2 or how my hair (it's very thick) would be entanglement +4.

Do you have any attributes you joke about?
Oooh, I want to play! How does this game work? Do I just get to pick things? Can I have dirty humor +3 and obnoxious taste in music +5?

i remember once i put all me and me mates down in a DnD character sheet form, but yeah on topic, i have +1 Khaki Hemp Jeans which you will always see me wear

*waits for some dude to make a vapid comment along the lines of "Yeah, well, I do have this +8 the ladies love, but it wouldn't be polite to talk about it"*

Wait no longer. I have a +8 Sword of Delightful Penetration.

Oooh, I want to play! How does this game work? Do I just get to pick things? Can I have dirty humor +3 and obnoxious taste in music +5?


Well you can pick those, or you can pick something about yourself that you don't like and use an actual game attribute for it. I used Baldur's Gate as an example because there is actually a spell called entanglement, and it's a joke between my husband and me that one of these nights my hair will strangle him in his sleep. So for you with what you listed those work great or maybe you could use a bard spell to make fun of yourself.

I just created this to counteract the depression I was having over all the hurricane news.

Wait no longer. I have a +8 Sword of Delightful Penetration.


If I recall correctly from video game playing wasn't that one cursed? :D

Well you can pick those, or you can pick something about yourself that you don't like and use an actual game attribute for it. I used Baldur's Gate as an example because there is actually a spell called entanglement, and it's a joke between my husband and me that one of these nights my hair will strangle him in his sleep. So for you with what you listed those work great or maybe you could use a bard spell to make fun of yourself.

Smoove. I must acquire this game. Perhaps if I grant myself +10 videogame purchasing overdrive...?


I just created this to counteract the depression I was having over all the hurricane news.
Good call. I need a little something to brighten things up :(.

Guitar skills +1 (I can plink away but that's about it)
Singing skills -9 (Pretty damn awful, someone shut me up!)

Class: Jerk (-10 charisma, +12 self-satisfaction)

Wand of the mystic manhood +10

NO IDENTITY SCROLLS! :p

My base attrbutes are all below 9.

Class: Jerk (-10 charisma, +12 self-satisfaction)

LOL

"Well", he said vapidly, "I do happen to have a Rod of Lordly Might."

"Well", he said vapidly, "I do happen to have a Rod of Lordly Might."
Heh, I'll make do with my wand of wonders ;)

Seeing as I'm really good at organising people, but they rarely notice it, and since I almost always get a negative reaction from random encounters, though I really think I'm both good looking and fairly friendly, I guess I have wisdom 8 and Charisma 6. Experiences are just something recurring for me. I can't seem to gain any knowledge from them.
My humour is pretty fucked as well, but at least I'm somewhat fit, and good in a fight. I'd say something about my intelligence, but I have enough of it to know I'd regret it.

Perhaps you'd care for a Wand of viscous globs?

And yes, those are actually D&D items.

Well, i have weapon specialisation (wang), and that's my main weapon for single-wangedly slaying tarrasques. yes, plural.

and yes, I know that you have to use death magic then a wish spell and there is no other possible way of killing the thing, but that just goes to show the power of my WEEN!

Also, i'd have the evil bastard DM feat and a ranger's favoured enemy (religious fanatic). Finally, i'd have the improved critical (scimitar) feat to compliment a pair of throwing returning ranged keen vorpal scimitars.

just to explain that above, i can make two attacks every six seconds. i can throw each scimitar at anytihng within about 100 feet. i'd also have about a 1/5 chance of lopping off the head of anything i threw at.

<Snip>
In other words, you're one of the munchkins!

Favoured pray of deadly DM traps, Bored fellow players and badass nasties everywhere.

May you be forever ressurected, so we'll never lack a target for random aggro :D

Sorry, I'm joking of course :fluffle:

and a ranger's favoured enemy (religious fanatic).

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Seriously though, I haven't laughed that hard in a VERY long time. lol

And everyone bragging about their magic rods... With Contagion & Summon Insects being a popular spell... Many combatants don't tell their adversary that they are a spellcaster. It's not that they don't care. It's because they don't know. Short of abstinance from combat there is only one way to prevent insects and contagion...

"Druidjan". Faerun's most trusted Cloak of Protection +1

This came about because my husband and I played WAY too much Baldurs Gate in our spare time before we had kids. Now we joke about what kind of DnD attributes things have, like say a poopy diaper is stinking cloud + 2 or how my hair (it's very thick) would be entanglement +4.

Do you have any attributes you joke about?

So wait, you're a beautiful Italian woman who plays D&D? Have I mentioned how much I want to marry you?

awwww, that's sweet! :fluffle:

But technically no, you haven't mentioned it. Only other naughty things you'd like to do which are out of the question since my husband would not permit it.

He jokes about that with people actually - that he married me because I play video games, drink dark beer and know how to cook.

I think he'd also like it better if I did more housework, but hey you can't have everything.

That's what I need! A Wand of Perfect Cleanliness +5!

Either that or Firebolt to shut him up when I have had a long day with the kids and he ask's why the laundry isn't folded.

"Well", he said vapidly, "I do happen to have a Rod of Lordly Might."

Rod of Lordly Might it work? :D

Class: Spammer (+8 Postwhoring, -4 Wisdom)

Ummm...that's my friend's class. Yeah. :cool:

Class: Spammer (+8 Postwhoring, -4 Wisdom)

Ummm...that's my friend's class. Yeah. :cool:


that sounds like any number of people!

Ugh, I've been awake since 4 am and I am tired...I could use strength +2 of anything at this point.

awwww, that's sweet! :fluffle:

But technically no, you haven't mentioned it. Only other naughty things you'd like to do which are out of the question since my husband would not permit it.

Bah. I'm willing to share if he is. ;)

Class: Beat Master
Prized possession: The Number of The Beats (+95 to +160 BPM)

Yes, I'm a technosnob that loves DnD...or is it the other way aroud?

Anyways...

I'm also multiclassed:
Other Class: Mental Patient: (Drive Others Insane +9, Make Sense - 11)