NationStates Jolt Archive

Is it bad to hate your birthdays?

So Wednesday was my 22 birthday, for any of you who missed me on the forums ;), and yet another year came to my realization that I am the most disliked son (there are three of us) by my parents. All day, my parents just talked about what furniture they wanted to buy for my brother and how his apartment was. He has lived there for a while and they see him about every other day. At dinner which we have for all of our birthdays, I think my parents only made one comment to me.

Now, when it comes to gifts, no one had asked me what I wanted at all, except my little brother who is incapable of buying me really what I want due to lack of funds. During dinner, the one comment made to me by my parents was that they didn't know what I wanted. It had always been tradition in my family not to say what you want unless asked, so I should have known it was gonna be bad. So, I go out to lunch with my dad earlier and he asks if I mind going with him to the furniture store so he can buy a couch for my older brother. So, I've been pissed off all day as was. After dinner, when we traditionally open presents, the weight of how pissed off I was gonna be. Cards from grandparents, 22 dollars from each pair. My cousin bought me the movie Empire Records. My girlfriend bought me Lilo & Stitch 2 (The first one is my favorite movie). The rest of my family buys me two shirts and a pair of shorts, each costing $7. So when it comes down to it, my girlfriend, my cousin, and my grandparents each spent more on me for my birthday than my immediate family combined. The bitter taste definately comes from knowing that my parents spent around $1500 on my older brother's birthday three months earlier. So pardon me if I'm a little angry on the forums today.

So I want to know what people think. Does this suck or what? Should I feel as bitter as I do?

Yeah, i'd be pissed off too.

I mean, how can they not know the magic rule? "IF IN DOUBT - BUY BOOZE". Write that on their foreheads.

Bah.

My birthday was August the 29th. Guess who else came to visit that day? I also live right in her path, too.

Suck it up and quit whining.

Yeah, i'd be pissed off too.

I mean, how can they not know the magic rule? "IF IN DOUBT - BUY BOOZE". Write that on their foreheads.

That's what made it worse at dinner. My parents are against drinking, so I couldn't even get drunk.

Bah.

My birthday was August the 29th. Guess who else came to visit that day? I also live right in her path, too.

Suck it up and quit whining.

To you,

1) I live with my parents
2) It's an unspoken rule in the family that we spend our birthdays with our family.
3) I would have left from the second I woke up if I thought I could.

That's what made it worse at dinner. My parents are against drinking, so I couldn't even get drunk.

Ouch. :(



To you,

1) I live with my parents
2) It's an unspoken rule in the family that we spend our birthdays with our family.
3) I would have left from the second I woke up if I thought I could.

I think he meant the hurricane.

I think he meant the hurricane.


My apologies.

Thats crap. Lots of ppl dislike birthdays. My Dad hates christmas!
Happy Birthday anyway :)

Druidville, hope you and your family are ok. While Hemingsoft thread seems insignificant to what you and those in your state are going through its important to him. You wouldn't like it if someone said suck it up, your house is obviously fine as your on the internet(I'm not for a second saying this).

Didn't mean my last post to sound nasty. Just trying to point out that despite world events the little things still get to ppl. no offense ment.

Is it bad to hate your birthdays?

So Wednesday was my 22 birthday, for any of you who missed me on the forums ;), and yet another year came to my realization that I am the most disliked son (there are three of us) by my parents. All day, my parents just talked about what furniture they wanted to buy for my brother and how his apartment was. He has lived there for a while and they see him about every other day. At dinner which we have for all of our birthdays, I think my parents only made one comment to me.

Now, when it comes to gifts, no one had asked me what I wanted at all, except my little brother who is incapable of buying me really what I want due to lack of funds. During dinner, the one comment made to me by my parents was that they didn't know what I wanted. It had always been tradition in my family not to say what you want unless asked, so I should have known it was gonna be bad. So, I go out to lunch with my dad earlier and he asks if I mind going with him to the furniture store so he can buy a couch for my older brother. So, I've been pissed off all day as was. After dinner, when we traditionally open presents, the weight of how pissed off I was gonna be. Cards from grandparents, 22 dollars from each pair. My cousin bought me the movie Empire Records. My girlfriend bought me Lilo & Stitch 2 (The first one is my favorite movie). The rest of my family buys me two shirts and a pair of shorts, each costing $7. So when it comes down to it, my girlfriend, my cousin, and my grandparents each spent more on me for my birthday than my immediate family combined. The bitter taste definately comes from knowing that my parents spent around $1500 on my older brother's birthday three months earlier. So pardon me if I'm a little angry on the forums today.

So I want to know what people think. Does this suck or what? Should I feel as bitter as I do?


There are a few factors that go into this...

1) Do you still live with your parents?

While it isn't a big deal at your age, they may feel that since you haven't moved on they provide for you all the time and therefore cut back on gifts.

2) It looks to me like you are the middle child. I was too. It's better to accept it and move on.

3) Maybe it has something to do with your love of Lilo & Stitch. I mean, c'mon.

I never let it get me down when I got the least amount of stuff for b-days or x-mas. I just let it flow.

But in short...yes...it does absolutely suck.

And oh yeah...

Happy Birthday!

There are a few factors that go into this...

1) Do you still live with your parents?

While it isn't a big deal at your age, they may feel that since you haven't moved on they provide for you all the time and therefore cut back on gifts.

2) It looks to me like you are the middle child. I was too. It's better to accept it and move on.

3) Maybe it has something to do with your love of Lilo & Stitch. I mean, c'mon.

I never let it get me down when I got the least amount of stuff for b-days or x-mas. I just let it flow.

But in short...yes...it does absolutely suck.

Answer to #1:
I do live with my parents, but I pay for housing, my food, and all other needs.

Answer to last bit:
It's not so much the gifts that bothers me, that was the last straw. I am mostly pissed that I was pretty much ignored the entire day.


Reply to those who are saying that there are more wosre off people than myslef:

I was going to refrain from saying this because I don't want a handshake or a pat on the back (and still don't). As soon as I found out where to send monetary aide, I sent a check for roughly 10% of my annual income, 50% of my savings account balance. There are worse off people than myself and I've done what I can afford to do. Some days I just get thrown over the top that I try my best to help everyone else and make others happy, just to find out that there are very few people out there who are willing to do it in return.

Is it bad to hate your birthdays?
Not at all. I'm currently at the point where I'm sure I'd never want to celebrate another birthday again.
So I want to know what people think. Does this suck or what? Should I feel as bitter as I do?You've got plenty right to be bitter. My last birthday, I asked my friends and family to not mention the words "good" and "birthday" in the same sentence and to avoid it altogether if possible.
So (happy) birthday! (if that helps) A lot of people have trouble with birthdays at our age even if they don't have to take such crap from their families.

Is it bad to hate your birthdays?

So Wednesday was my 22 birthday, for any of you who missed me on the forums ;), and yet another year came to my realization that I am the most disliked son (there are three of us) by my parents. All day, my parents just talked about what furniture they wanted to buy for my brother and how his apartment was. He has lived there for a while and they see him about every other day. At dinner which we have for all of our birthdays, I think my parents only made one comment to me.

Now, when it comes to gifts, no one had asked me what I wanted at all, except my little brother who is incapable of buying me really what I want due to lack of funds. During dinner, the one comment made to me by my parents was that they didn't know what I wanted. It had always been tradition in my family not to say what you want unless asked, so I should have known it was gonna be bad. So, I go out to lunch with my dad earlier and he asks if I mind going with him to the furniture store so he can buy a couch for my older brother. So, I've been pissed off all day as was. After dinner, when we traditionally open presents, the weight of how pissed off I was gonna be. Cards from grandparents, 22 dollars from each pair. My cousin bought me the movie Empire Records. My girlfriend bought me Lilo & Stitch 2 (The first one is my favorite movie). The rest of my family buys me two shirts and a pair of shorts, each costing $7. So when it comes down to it, my girlfriend, my cousin, and my grandparents each spent more on me for my birthday than my immediate family combined. The bitter taste definately comes from knowing that my parents spent around $1500 on my older brother's birthday three months earlier. So pardon me if I'm a little angry on the forums today.

So I want to know what people think. Does this suck or what? Should I feel as bitter as I do?

I have four siblings, two brothers and two sisters. My sisters each had a birthday two weeks before mine. My parents literally forgot my birthday several times when I was a teenager. My mother had straight out told me that she geniunely does not enjoy my company (it's a long story) many times during my young adult years.

In other words, I know what it's like to be the least favorite. I know what it's like to feel like nobody cares about your birthday. But I also know what it's like to live through it, and get your own life.

I turn 31 next Tuesday. I have a great relationship with my siblings these days and a good relationship with my father and a liveable one with my mother. I've learned that you have to sometimes just accept the things you have no control over. You can't make your parents feel differently about you. You can't change your family. What you can change is how you react to these things and how it affects you. I promise you that the day you decide to be happy about your situation you will see your situation begin to turn for the better.

A little advice from someone who's a little further down the road.

to answer the question..Yes it is bad..in fact it went bad last week and I had to throw it out..... :p ((psst.. dont worry about it until you have had 38 birthdays... :) )

So I want to know what people think. Does this suck or what? Should I feel as bitter as I do?

*Hugs*

(A MANLY hug at that) ;)

Why are you still in such immediate contact with your parents if they dislike you so much? You're 22, you're no longer tethered to them.

It's my birthday on sat 10th (I’ll be 20) I've just moved away from home to a house in my uni town a couple of months ago and I haven't seen my parentals since. My parents do theatre in the community work and I got an email the other week to say that they've decided to do a show over my birthday weekend and they're going away to Bali over Christmas and new year so I'm not going to see them till about Easter.

Don't you just love life?

Why are you still in such immediate contact with your parents if they dislike you so much? You're 22, you're no longer tethered to them.

The price for living at home is still cheaper than other places. For them though, they don't pay a penny but property tax anymore.

I was going to refrain from saying this because I don't want a handshake or a pat on the back (and still don't). As soon as I found out where to send monetary aide, I sent a check for roughly 10% of my annual income, 50% of my savings account balance. There are worse off people than myself and I've done what I can afford to do. Some days I just get thrown over the top that I try my best to help everyone else and make others happy, just to find out that there are very few people out there who are willing to do it in return.

Not intended as a dig on you...but I think I remember feeling exactly the same on my 22nd birthday (or that whole year really).

Not intended as a dig on you...but I think I remember feeling exactly the same on my 22nd birthday (or that whole year really).

I'm sure that just it. For years my friends and I used to always pinpoint the age of 22 when people start settling down and whatnot. I don't want to settle down or grow up, I enjoy being a young adult in college.

I'm sure that just it. For years my friends and I used to always pinpoint the age of 22 when people start settling down and whatnot. I don't want to settle down or grow up, I enjoy being a young adult in college.Gleaning from what I hear from the older generations, the early 20s are one of the worst times in life for anyone, whether the family is being mean or not.
They all said things did eventually get better. ;)

I'm sure that just it. For years my friends and I used to always pinpoint the age of 22 when people start settling down and whatnot. I don't want to settle down or grow up, I enjoy being a young adult in college.

Well...if it helps...

I'm 29 married with kids...I still haven't grown up yet I have settled down. Growing up doesn't mean you can't enjoy life.

When I was 22 I lived on my own, played in a band, drank all the time. Now I'm 29, play in a band, and drink occasionally. It isn't too different and I wouldn't trade either experience for the other.

It's all nice to hear, but some of my friends have even made reference to the fact that I've lost my flair that I once had. I'm falling into middle class America too soon. Work in a research lab 40 hours a week, go to school 20 hours a week. I'm turning into the typical tv representation of mindless drone of society!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!

yes it sucked.

but it really sucked because you are stuck playing child when you are an adult. when you are a child your parents provide your birthday celebration. when you are an adult you provide you own.

next year you will be 23, time to change tradition. make up your own great day and spend a little bit of time with your family. yes they will give you static but really, fuck them, its your birthday and as an adult you celebrate it as you choose.

now that you really know where you stand, there is no excuse for having any more sucky birthdays.

Ever thought of asking your parents why they're treating you like that?
Maybe 'cause you act withdrawn and sullen leading up to, and on, your birthday your parents have concluded that you don't like celebrating your birthday so delibrately keep it low-key.

Also, maybe 'cause your brother's living in a flat they've figured he needs more help than you. You don't need furniture and other stuff. Perhaps they think that because you're still at home, that's enough of their contribution to your life.

Instead of complaining and feeling rotten and unloved, you really should talk to them to find out.