NationStates Jolt Archive

It is an issue that has taken the back seat since Gay Marraige has arrived at the boards. I'm sure people have talked it to death, and its remains, piled up on the back burner. Misconceptions about interacial dating is still abound, though. I'd liek to gather opinions of the matter...as well as state my own.

I know there's a full spectrum of races getting at eachother, but, I'm only going to address two races. Black and White. Relationships involving black men and white women (and visa versa) seem to be the most misunderstood and indeed, disliked of all of the "race mixing."

Here are a few things I've noted:

1) White Men seem to think a White Woman is tainted, if she is dating a Black Man. This is for a simple reason: Penis Envy. In "white circles," she's now an outsider. A lot of White Men think that she's somehow whorish and is less-than-dateable.

2) Black Men seem to think that if a Black Woman is with a White Man, she's also a whore. Due to the misconception that a White Man cannot please a Black Woman. Many believe that the Man must be rich, or give her everything she wants, just to keep her at his side. In some cases, this is true, due to fear of her "going back to black."

3) Women (and Men) of both colors look at eachother strangely. I can't tell you how many times I've seen my girlfriend being stared at by White Women, as if she's a whore. I've also seen Black Men look at me as if they've just caught me stealing from them.


Again, these are just a few things I've noticed. The racism on both sides of the issue is incredible, and it amazes me how it's still some sort of taboo in some areas. I'm a Redneck/Hick, I'm about as Southern as a polecat in the fryin' pan (mm, tasty). I also fit the image of an Aryan to the T. Hell, I'm so white I glow in the dark. That doesn't stop me from loving. It shouldn't stop anyone from living their normal lives. This could also be applied to Homosexual Relationships.

There's also the slight misconception that to belong to one racial group, you have to become them. I've found this to be false as well. I blast my Metal in my car while driving through "Black Quarters" all the time, and I have just as many black friends as I do white friends...yet people still look at me as if I'm a "Wigger" (I hate Rythm and Poetry, love Rythm and Beat, though).

I have no idea what relevence that last statement had to do with the overall subject, I merely wanted to get that off my chest.

I feel better for it.

I just can't wait for someone to post about Interracial Homosexual Dating. They're so cute! They get flak from Homophobes AND Racists, though...'tis sad.

Anyhow, I digress...what is YOUR take in the issue? What ideas hav eyou grew up with, and what, of your ideas, have proven true?

When you said interracial, I thought I'd get to be included...but I guess it's just whites and blacks up in here. :(

my last girlfriend and last boyfriend were both half-black/half-white, i never met anyone who had anything against it. or at least anyone who's opinion i cared about.

Why not call it what it is - inferiority complex! :D

Sinehue: Aww...I wanted to incorporate all races...but I don't have any experiance in that. I sad now...hey! Want to post your issues? You're welcome to it...it'll add more depth to this thread. :)

Kryozerkia: And yes, that's basically what the whole issue is, Inferiority complexes, on all sides, oddly enough.

Greyenivol Colony: Well, it's not always apperant. Where I've lived (From Oklahoma, Texas, Mississippi, and back to Oklahoma), the whole issue was pretty much swept under the rug...but, when confronted by it, I've seen alot of people say things along the lines of: "She dates niggers, I won't touch her," and even visa versa.

I love interracial dating and most certainly have nothing against it, because without it I wouldn't exist if ya know what I mean ;) .

It depends on where you live. In certain towns and cities, inter-ethnic couples are fairly common -- there still might be some stigma attached for some people, but for the most part, no-one cares. In other areas, or for certain ethnic groups, the problem is greater.

The way I figure it, so long as the person you're with doesn't drive you mad in a bad way, just be happy; you're far better off than a lot of people.

Okay, my experience in interracial dating.

Native guys who date white chicks. The stereotype (and often the reality) is that native guys are very abusive towards white women in relationships.

White guys with native chicks. The stereotype is that white guys go after native chicks because they like their long hair, or their dancing, and it's the 'ohh, exotic culture' factor, which when it wears off means the guy leaves, or becomes abusive. Hmmm...abuse is definitely a stereotype in white/native relationships.

White/black...well, we didn't have many blacks where I grew up, but I had a roommate who dated a black guy and had to hide him in the closet when her parents came. Now, in their defense, he'd been charged with sexual assault, though the charges were dropped, so it wasn't all about race. But really, it was about his race. They broke up eventually, and she regretted being disowned over him. It was a ridiculous situation.

Sufi/Sunni...in University I had a good friend who was engaged to a Sunni girl, and he was Sufi. Both families disowned them. I think they've made up with parts of their families since then. Stupidity.

Other than that? Most interracial dating I've seen, or been involved in (married to a latino) has raised few eyebrows and is usually more like "SCORE! FOREIGN FOOD!" :D

Depending on whom you ask, I am bi-racial. There are those who consider Sicilians not to be 'really' white, and there are those who consider Puerto Ricans not to be white.... but sonuvagun, I do have that peachy beige skin and blue-eyed, blonde haired family members!

In my considered opinion, judging someone on their pedigree as if they are a showdog is just plain ignorance and shows that the person judging fears that somehow, the happiness of others threatens them. You'd have to have one SERIOUS problem to consider my existance a threat to you personally.

Want to marry someone just like you? Be my guest and godspeed. Don't get your knickers in a twist over other people's choices.

Most interracial dating I've seen, or been involved in (married to a latino) has raised few eyebrows and is usually more like "SCORE! FOREIGN FOOD!" :D

LOL! Yep! :) I'll whip up chicken cutlets parmagiana or make tostones and piñon with equal zeal. ;)

Well, perhaps I just live in one of the more progressive parts of the South, but where I come from, interracial dating is common enough not to raise any eyebrows. I've dated a few black women, Latinas, and Asian women in my time, and nobody made a big deal out of it (apart from my dad, who's a reactionary old fart.)

I'm of the opinion that there aren't any "races" to begin with, so the whole issue is just one of perception. People are people.

LOL! Yep! :) I'll whip up chicken cutlets parmagiana or make tostones and piñon with equal zeal. ;)
That's the thing I miss most when I travel, is the plethora of foods that I can get at home. Try asking for Vietnamese food in Chile. They think you want to eat their dogs, and they get all smiley and back away from you slowly...

In an ideal world, I would have many children, who would marry people from different ethnicities, and potluck dinners would be an absolute culinary delight!!!!

Sinuhue: On the white/black thing...I had never even seen a black person untill I was about thirteen. Personally, I think the isolationism was a good thing in the long run. That goes for all cultures. I was a fairly sheltered kid, and, as I grew up and became more socially aware, my curiosity only grew. I never paid much attention to the jokes that my family told...my Brother is a wanna-be KKK member.

For the longest time I sat and wondered, "What's a ******? And why would I cut it from a tree?" Those of you who know that joke, kudos and sympathy. :P

As for the other races...I never really knew that there was so much misunderstanding in the others. I somehow thought that Middleasterners would have a common bond.

As for Indians, not sure about India's Indians, but Native Indians (part Choctaw, here) are much the way you describe. The majority of the white guys do tend to be abusive to the native chicks they're with here, sadly. If you're talking about indians from India (you know, the TRUE Indians), I've always dug Indian ladies. But none of'em dug me. :(

Dishonorable: Agreed. The south isn't all haters, haha. In Southern Oklahoma, the people were slightly racist, yet most were just ignorant. Mostly due to the lack of other ethnic groups.

In Southeastern Texas, there were so many different races no one cared.

In Mississippi...segregation was still in effect, only in a not so apperant way. So people were deffinately racist there.

Here in Seminole, Oklahoma, people are accepting of it, yet there are still a lot of stares. I've never had anyone openly confront us, but I'll be damned if we came close to confrontations.

But generally, I agree with you. I'm a progressive Redneck. My truck practically has a gunrack in the back glass and a Rainbow on the bumper.
People are people. That's the utlimate conclusion I've came up with. That's why I was so confused when I first encountered other races...I wondered what the hell the big deal was.

If it wasn't for interracial dating I wouldn't have had interracial sex or be getting interracially married. The only problem I see with interracial dating is that there isn't enough of it. Everyone should date other races as well as sexes. :p

Meh.

For me the requirement is female.

I have dated an Asian, a Mexican, a Jordanian, a Peruvian, and an Indian.

I once flirted with and subsequently asked out a Black Gal but her family went beserk at the thought of a white oppressor going out with her. Too bad. She was great gal....

snip

:confused:
I would have thought inter-racial relationships in the US were common.

curious is it mainly a minority plus white person thing, or any two different 'races' together?

I have dated an Asian

ah asia... i've dated someone from that country before.....

ah asia... i've dated someone from that country before.....

Smart ass. Ok if you want to get technical. She was Japanese. ;)

Smart ass. Ok if you want to get technical. She was Japanese. ;)

:p

Smart ass. Ok if you want to get technical. She was Japanese. ;)


I date a French/Japanese girl before and as looks went, she was one of the hottest girls I ahve ever seen in my life. She was cool too but we just weren't compatible.

Oh well - I found me a Phillipino girl that could stand being around me so it's on now.

I'm of the opinion that there aren't any "races" to begin with, so the whole issue is just one of perception. People are people.

Same here. I don't see what the big deal is.

Jjimjja: If I got your question right, it depends on the place. In the U.S., there are many different places were certain things are accepted. Say, close to the Mexican border, relationships between Latinos and other races are more acceptable than in other places. That can be applied to all races, depending on where you are in America.

So I wouldn't say it's just a white + Other Race, it's more any mix of races. But then again, I could be wrong. I don't have oodles and gobs of statistics that many people require, so I'm just speaking from what I've seen.

On the other hand, interracial relationships (not just black and white) are becoming more common here in the U.S., which is good.


The Black Forrest: I know how you feel. Her Grandma is an evangilic Christian who thinks I'm the White Devil...she hates me mostly becuase I'm white, and because she doesn't think I can provide for her...becuase she herself is a very materialistic person. Which I find ironic.

When you said interracial, I thought I'd get to be included...but I guess it's just whites and blacks up in here. :(

How 'bout Natives and Pygmies? :D
Sorry that was cruel. I apologize.

Remember:

"What the world needs now is love . . ."
finish it guys.

Hang on...

Arkanaland, what was that about penis envy in your first post? I don't get it... :(

And kudos on being a progressive redneck. You win a cookie.

Hang on...

Arkanaland, what was that about penis envy in your first post? I don't get it... :(

And kudos on being a progressive redneck. You win a cookie.

Penis envy?? So the white man is jealous about black men having penises? Don't the white men have penises also?

I'm a white guy who wouldn't date a black girl and I'd say 90% of my friends and 80% of the kids in my school feel the same way.

[QUOTE=Arkanaland]snipQUOTE]

just seems strange that in a land that prides itself on being an immigrant nation, that marrying someone who looks different would cause a problem.

Taldaan: Thanks for the cookie, I hope it's Chocolate Chip, mm. As for the comment on penis envy...well, that's the only way I can describe the way some people feel about black men ebing with white women...due to the rumor that a black man's penis is larger than a white man's.

The way I see it, if you worry about how large someone else's penis is, chances are you're not doing a good enough job with yours.

But some people listen to rumors way too much. :rolleyes:

I'm a white guy who wouldn't date a black girl and I'd say 90% of my friends and 80% of the kids in my school feel the same way.


Why wouldn't you date a black girl? Do you live in the deep south or something?

I'm a white guy who wouldn't date a black girl and I'd say 90% of my friends and 80% of the kids in my school feel the same way.

err.... why? just curious

err.... why? just curious

Ditto, black women are just as fun and smart and intriguing as white women.

Meh ... in the United States, it's almost impossible not to date inter-racially. Just about everyone seems 1/2 this or 1/4 that or 1/1028 of those.

Incidently, my mother is Jewish, so I say I'm Jewish ... since my mother is also a woman, can I say I'm 1/2 woman? :D

Jjimjja: Yeah, there are a few things in America that are strange that way.

The Second Holy Empire: That's up to you. Back in Missisippi, that was about the same mindset, and that's all right with me. I'm not the type of person that gets their tounge bundled when someone chooses not to date interracial. It's a matter of personal choice, really. I'd be a part of that 20 and 10%...but I'd also have no problem with the 80 and 90% that wouldn't choose my lovelife.

So it's all gravy.

And for the psot above me: Lol, I dig that. I'm a Hienz 57 myself. I'm 1/64th Choctaw, the rest is French, Irish, Scottish and British bloodkin.

Stereotypical Hour: I'm Indian AND irish...my Liver's not going to have a good life.

I'm a white guy who wouldn't date a black girl and I'd say 90% of my friends and 80% of the kids in my school feel the same way.
Me thinks I hear banjo music.

Oh well. That's your loss.

Meh ... in the United States, it's almost impossible not to date inter-racially. Just about everyone seems 1/2 this or 1/4 that or 1/1028 of those.

Incidently, my mother is Jewish, so I say I'm Jewish ... since my mother is also a woman, can I say I'm 1/2 woman? :D

or only half a man :D

can I say I'm 1/2 woman? :D

You are all woman to me sweetheart!

:fluffle:

:D

And by the way, the myth about white men not being able to please a black woman is false ;)

or only half a man :D

Well he is married!

I was going to date a college friend who was black (it didn't work out and I ended up with my current fiancee, who happens to be part Cherokee, but that's beside the point) and I recall my dad inquiring about her, and he said, "You do know that this constitutes an interracial relationship, right?" At that point I was prepared to say, "Gee, did you figure that out all by yourself, or did your mommy help you?" Of course I knew she was of a different race! Why the hell did I care? I have family members that might have cared (in particular my grandfather, who's old and would get over it anyway) and my dad claimed he was OK with it, but his demeanor and constant reiteration that there would be other people who had a problem with it indicated otherwise.

And by the way, the myth about white men not being able to please a black woman is false ;)

Agreed, haha. Not to brag, of course. ...

Well he is married!

so that's the half that was lost :p

http://sweetcelebs.com/pictures/halleberry/halle223.jpg

I'd hit it. :D

A bit too skinny in this pic though.

What usually gets noticed is the white + insert the name of any racial group-biracial, Black, Native American, Latinos, Asians...

While interracial dating is a lot more common now that when I was coming along (80s and 90s), it still has it's barriers. There are still people who bring up the "what about the children" argument.

There are also quite a few people still left from an era where on no level was interracial relationships accepted (unless it was a strictly prostitute/john relationship and it was kept on the very down low) and they have passed this onto their children and grandchildren and are still very vocal about it. However this depends more on the part of the country that you live in.

Prejudice does cut both ways. The groups that are generally classified as 'minority' have some justification on their side in that once upon a time a man that was not white who tried to make time with a white woman was literally a dead man. So any family hearing that their son was running around with Miss Ann (old Black slang for a white woman) saw this as nothing but disaster. The retribution did not always stop at the offender. Sometimes the family paid dearly as well and with their lives.
Of course, the thought of a child choosing to mix with the spawn of a race that acted as their oppressors did also not go over so well, even if said spawn had nothing to do with the oppression.

I have seen 'minorities' date other 'minorities.' However, not always with amiable results. Sadly, people tend to internalize prejudices and stereotypes that other create. No one group is immune.

The other difference with today is that speaking about being biracial or multiracial is also not a huge taboo. Many are rightfully rejecting the old practice of having to "choose one."

err.... why? just curious


1. Never been attracted to a black girl physically
2. Never have had anything in common with a black girl
3. Only 1 black guy in one class of my classes.
4. I don't have many black friends


None of those reasons can really explain why I just don't think it's right and why I wouldn't be comfortable hanging out with a white girl who was dating a black guy. It's what I believe and calling me racist or ignorant just shows your intolerance to other opinions, not that you did that.

People I've met who would not date outside their ethnicity have overwhelmingly been 'minorities'. Specifically Chinese, East Indian and Pakistani.

Then again, my husband is working with some white boys who think Beyonce Knowles is ugly and Jessica Simpson is the ideal female. *gags*

1. Never been attracted to a black girl physically
2. Never have had anything in common with a black girl
3. Only 1 black guy in one class of my classes.
4. I don't have many black friends


None of those reasons can really explain why I just don't think it's right and why I wouldn't be comfortable hanging out with a white girl who was dating a black guy. It's what I believe and calling me racist or ignorant just shows your intolerance to other opinions, not that you did that.

Justified.

1. Never been attracted to a black girl physically
2. Never have had anything in common with a black girl
3. Only 1 black guy in one class of my classes.
4. I don't have many black friends


None of those reasons can really explain why I just don't think it's right and why I wouldn't be comfortable hanging out with a white girl who was dating a black guy. It's what I believe and calling me racist or ignorant just shows your intolerance to other opinions, not that you did that.

your choice

It's what I believe and calling me racist or ignorant just shows your intolerance to other opinions, not that you did that.

Can a person be intolerant for calling somebody else intolerant?

-edit-

Always an after thought.

On 1-4 that could be a choice thing.

But when you wrote: "I wouldn't be comfortable hanging out with a white girl who was dating a black guy."

That kind of suggests a prejudice.....

Ah well.....

People I've met who would not date outside their ethnicity have overwhelmingly been 'minorities'. Specifically Chinese, East Indian and Pakistani.

Then again, my husband is working with some white boys who think Beyonce Knowles is ugly and Jessica Simpson is the ideal female. *gags*

*Double gags*

But Halle Berry is still hotter than Beyonce though.

actually just spoke with my girlfriend and realised we're an interacial couple.

She's norwegian and i'm half-spanish half-british.

different races, so interacial. YAY :D

*Double gags*

But Halle Berry is still hotter than Beyonce though.
Beyonce has something...like innocence you really want to corrupt. Haile lost her shine.

It dosen't matter what race she belongs to as long as shes from a culture where the woman does all the work.

interracial dating

promoting racial harmony one orgasm at a time.


nasty old racists change their tune when suddenly its not "those people" but "my grandchildren"

None of those reasons can really explain why I just don't think it's right and why I wouldn't be comfortable hanging out with a white girl who was dating a black guy.

Interesting ....

What about your kids? What if one of your kids decides to date a black person? Would you accept it as they must find happiness and love their way or would you disown or beat them or something?

People I've met who would not date outside their ethnicity have overwhelmingly been 'minorities'. Specifically Chinese, East Indian and Pakistani.

Then again, my husband is working with some white boys who think Beyonce Knowles is ugly and Jessica Simpson is the ideal female. *gags*

Ah yes, the old sentiment... Beauty is in the stupidity of the beholder....

Beyonce has something...like innocence you really want to corrupt. Haile lost her shine.

Was it the hit and run or was it the doing the nasty scene with BillyBob?
:eek:

This is a very interesteding thread...

I am white, my girlfriend is latino. Before we met she was with an asian man and I was with a black women. I really don't care how others view me being with someone of a different race. The fact of the matter is we made eachother happy just as my current girlfriend and I do.

try to think 5000 years down the road assuming that we are all on the same planet and no alien life has influended our world. I think there is only going to be one race, one color. Issues that we are dealing with now and issues we have delt with 50 years ago are not even going to be remembered.

I was going to date a college friend who was black (it didn't work out and I ended up with my current fiancee, who happens to be part Cherokee, but that's beside the point) and I recall my dad inquiring about her, and he said, "You do know that this constitutes an interracial relationship, right?" At that point I was prepared to say, "Gee, did you figure that out all by yourself, or did your mommy help you?" Of course I knew she was of a different race! Why the hell did I care? I have family members that might have cared (in particular my grandfather, who's old and would get over it anyway) and my dad claimed he was OK with it, but his demeanor and constant reiteration that there would be other people who had a problem with it indicated otherwise.

My relatives in Louisiana would pretty much disown me. My Grandpa especially, even though he's the only family member I love besides my parents, he's really racist. My Grandma here in Oklahoma adores her, though.

I thought my Dad had some problems with her untill he took us all out to eat just because s he visited...which is something he never does.

Gollumidas: Very, very well put post. That is the reason for a lot of tension. Where I lived in Mississippi, segregation was still in the midns of many people...and indeed, still had residual effect. Black stayed in their area of town, whites stayed in theirs. I was about the only white guy that would go into black areas, and for that, I got a lot of flak from Police.

My Girlfriend's grandma can be justified in a weird way...in her time, white+black relationships would have went down as you described...so seeing her Granddaughter with a white man is probably contrary to her beliefs...that which she grew up with.


The Second Holy Empire: I don't think anyone's calling you a racist. However, I think it's sad that you would feel uncomfortable around blacks. As for not relating to black girls. Well, if you take it in stride, you'd be surprised what you could learn.

I refuse to be anything other than what I am, so does she. I don't conform to her culture, she doesn't mine...in the end, it's a strange mix, and a constant struggle for control of the car stereo. But it works, becuase we use eachother's differences for learning, and if there are extreme differences, we accept them. Love conquers all, even race, and eventually leads tot he conclusiuon that white, black, latino, asian, indian, middle eastern...*Runs out of breath*...we're all people. That simple. The differences are trivial as long as you have a common idea in your core beliefs.

Beyonce has something...like innocence you really want to corrupt. Haile lost her shine.

Hmmm...corrupting innocence.

*Begins plotting evil scheme*

This is a very interesteding thread...

I am white, my girlfriend is latino. Before we met she was with an asian man and I was with a black women. I really don't care how others view me being with someone of a different race. The fact of the matter is we made eachother happy just as my current girlfriend and I do.

try to think 5000 years down the road assuming that we are all on the same planet and no alien life has influended our world. I think there is only going to be one race, one color. Issues that we are dealing with now and issues we have delt with 50 years ago are not even going to be remembered.

Good second post, welcome to Nationstates. Agreed, eventually a new species will be born, once the gene pool is dried up, so to speak. I can't wai tuntill we're all one shade of grey. Then we can start hating eachother for who we are, and not for what we look like.

Good second post, welcome to Nationstates. Agreed, eventually a new species will be born, once the gene pool is dried up, so to speak. I can't wai tuntill we're all one shade of grey. Then we can start hating eachother for who we are, and not for what we look like.

Damn it!!!! I want to be superficial!!!!!

Nah, then we'll just hate eachother based on socio-economic caste.

My relatives in Louisiana would pretty much disown me. My Grandpa especially, even though he's the only family member I love besides my parents, he's really racist. My Grandma here in Oklahoma adores her, though.

I thought my Dad had some problems with her untill he took us all out to eat just because s he visited...which is something he never does.

I actually thought my folks would have a problem with my current fiancee, not because she's part Cherokee (hell, so am I, just to a far lesser degree), but because she's Catholic. Never mind that she's a Christmas and Easter Catholic for the most part and doesn't seem to have too much trouble with my agnosticism (though I can't convince her there MIGHT not be a God and that atheists are justified in believing what they believe, but that's beside the point.) It was a false alarm, since my family loves her to death, but even if they didn't, well, their loss.

I have told her before that if we have kids and one brings home someone of another race, and she disapproves of them based solely on their race, I will divorce her and ruin her in court. No judge is going to grant custody to a racist. Well, not here they won't, anyway.

Haha wow, that IS tactful. I'm glad your parents got over their issues with race and religion. I do wonder how other people would feel abotu that, if they themselves had issues with race...and their kid comes up with a girl/guy of another ethnic group.

Hemingsoft: No! No! *Bops nose with news paper* Hhaha. :)

I have told her before that if we have kids and one brings home someone of another race, and she disapproves of them based solely on their race, I will divorce her and ruin her in court. No judge is going to grant custody to a racist. Well, not here they won't, anyway.

That's very mean of you. I agree with you first of all, but you try and try to make her understanding of your ways and ideas, yet you cannot do the same in return?

That's very mean of you. I agree with you first of all, but you try and try to make her understanding of your ways and ideas, yet you cannot do the same in return?

No kid of mine needs a parent who disapproves of someone theyr bring home just based on race. She knows this is what I believe and I don't think I will have an issue with it, but I am not going to stay married to someone who would do that to their own kid. I don't care if she thinks it's "what's best"; it's not. What's best is for the kid to be happy. Same goes for same-sex relationships (which she has no trouble with, seeing as how my own mother is gay and she loves my mom to death.) So it's likely a non-issue but it's something I am prepared for.

No kid of mine needs a parent who disapproves of someone theyr bring home just based on race. She knows this is what I believe and I don't think I will have an issue with it, but I am not going to stay married to someone who would do that to their own kid. I don't care if she thinks it's "what's best"; it's not. What's best is for the kid to be happy. Same goes for same-sex relationships (which she has no trouble with, seeing as how my own mother is gay and she loves my mom to death.) So it's likely a non-issue but it's something I am prepared for.

Do you live in America? No court takes a kid from their mother nowadays. Racism is such a hard one to argue when one person accusing another of the the same race. And again, you are self-proclaiming that you know what is 'best' for the kid. Isn't she doing the same thing? Just playing devil's advocate.

It is an issue that has taken the back seat since Gay Marraige has arrived at the boards. I'm sure people have talked it to death, and its remains, piled up on the back burner. Misconceptions about interacial dating is still abound, though. I'd liek to gather opinions of the matter...as well as state my own.

I know there's a full spectrum of races getting at eachother, but, I'm only going to address two races. Black and White. Relationships involving black men and white women (and visa versa) seem to be the most misunderstood and indeed, disliked of all of the "race mixing."

Here are a few things I've noted:

1) White Men seem to think a White Woman is tainted, if she is dating a Black Man. This is for a simple reason: Penis Envy. In "white circles," she's now an outsider. A lot of White Men think that she's somehow whorish and is less-than-dateable.

2) Black Men seem to think that if a Black Woman is with a White Man, she's also a whore. Due to the misconception that a White Man cannot please a Black Woman. Many believe that the Man must be rich, or give her everything she wants, just to keep her at his side. In some cases, this is true, due to fear of her "going back to black."

3) Women (and Men) of both colors look at eachother strangely. I can't tell you how many times I've seen my girlfriend being stared at by White Women, as if she's a whore. I've also seen Black Men look at me as if they've just caught me stealing from them.


Again, these are just a few things I've noticed. The racism on both sides of the issue is incredible, and it amazes me how it's still some sort of taboo in some areas. I'm a Redneck/Hick, I'm about as Southern as a polecat in the fryin' pan (mm, tasty). I also fit the image of an Aryan to the T. Hell, I'm so white I glow in the dark. That doesn't stop me from loving. It shouldn't stop anyone from living their normal lives. This could also be applied to Homosexual Relationships.

There's also the slight misconception that to belong to one racial group, you have to become them. I've found this to be false as well. I blast my Metal in my car while driving through "Black Quarters" all the time, and I have just as many black friends as I do white friends...yet people still look at me as if I'm a "Wigger" (I hate Rythm and Poetry, love Rythm and Beat, though).

I have no idea what relevence that last statement had to do with the overall subject, I merely wanted to get that off my chest.

I feel better for it.

I just can't wait for someone to post about Interracial Homosexual Dating. They're so cute! They get flak from Homophobes AND Racists, though...'tis sad.

Anyhow, I digress...what is YOUR take in the issue? What ideas hav eyou grew up with, and what, of your ideas, have proven true?

Ok, I have no problem with inter-racial dating, but I do feel strongly against Inter-racial Marriages...
Don't get me started on gays...

I'm a Catholic American of Dutch descent so I am very conservative. :)
I don't explain myself, thats just how I feel.

No kid of mine needs a parent who disapproves of someone theyr bring home just based on race. She knows this is what I believe and I don't think I will have an issue with it, but I am not going to stay married to someone who would do that to their own kid. I don't care if she thinks it's "what's best"; it's not. What's best is for the kid to be happy. Same goes for same-sex relationships (which she has no trouble with, seeing as how my own mother is gay and she loves my mom to death.) So it's likely a non-issue but it's something I am prepared for.

That's a real tactful way of discussing how you feel about it, when you should already know if you're bloody engaged to her.

*Does a German jig to the sound of an African Drum*

Yea for mixing cultures!!!!!

When you said interracial, I thought I'd get to be included...but I guess it's just whites and blacks up in here. :(
I'd do ya :eek:

I'd do ya :eek:

Well ya, who wouldn't!!!!!

Ok, I have no problem with inter-racial dating, but I do feel strongly against Inter-racial Marriages...

What? You don't think that everyone is equal before God and that, if they love each other, they might as well pledge it for their whole lives?

Sorry, but I don't see what being conservative has to do with it -- or is it the peculiar combination Dutch/conservative?

I'm a Catholic American of Dutch descent so I am very conservative. :)

actually, the two aren't necessarily connected. it's just you're own beliefs so change that 'so' to 'and'

Interracial dating is a positive thing. If the first rule of genetics is to spread the genes apart then what could be better for mankind then to have a relationship and produce children with someone who originates from the otherside of the world?! :fluffle:

Well ya, who wouldn't!!!!!
That's true. I'd do about anyone

I've never dated someone who was not at least part white...it just never came up. I've seen all kinds of guys of different races that I was attracted to, but somehow we never hooked up. I think I always met them when I was with someone else.

AlphaGeek is part Cherokee, so I guess we're an interracial couple, in the broadest sense of the term!

Sadly, my mother is from Ecuador, and is kind of racist. She is racist in that she has a vague dislike of anyone who isn't from Ecuador. My younger sister is dating a really sweet Indian guy (Indian from India) and she went ballistic at first, but is now resigned to it and I think will like him just as much as the rest of us do pretty soon. It doesn't hurt that she saw my son using him as a human jungle gym, and the guy was loving every minute of it. Or he's a good actor. :D

I think her only other objection will come when she realizes when they get married that the ceremony will be part Hindu.

That's true. I'd do about anyone

I wasn't so concerned with you. We knew you would do anyone.
But who wouldn't do Sin?

Brown sugar how come you taste so good ?

Brown sugar how come you taste so good ?

Mmmmm...melts in the mouth.

I wasn't so concerned with you. We knew you would do anyone.
But who wouldn't do Sin?
Max

But who wouldn't do Sin?
NR won't, despite all of our attempts to convince her.

Mmmmm...melts in the mouth.

Mmmmm.... Adulterated Refined Sugar with the Molasses added back to it in order to make it even sweeter and more conducive to being consumed in breakfast cereals.... *drooling noises*

Max

Well duh, he's a father now!

Just like a bad girl should.

Well duh, he's a father now!
Although Sinuhue IS a MILF :eek:

WOOHOO
1000 posts!!
It may be small to all of you guys but I just started in this forum.

Pardon the spam

WOOHOO
1000 posts!!
It may be small to all of you guys but I just started in this forum.

Pardon the spam
Go for it man. (BTW love the "shirt")

Although Sinuhue IS a MILF :eek:

Obviously not a problem. See we have a term for MILF, but FILF just doesn't make sense.

Go for it man. (BTW love the "shirt")

Thanks. Its a Hemingsoft original!!!!

Well, Cya all later. Only hanging on today to see 1000. Maybe later tonight though.

Obviously not a problem. See we have a term for MILF, but FILF just doesn't make sense.
That's what YOU say :eek:

Well, I'm a mutt here myself, a PRODUCT of interracial dating (and interracial marriage, and interracial baby-making etc etc). So pretty much all of my relationships have3 been interracial. You'd have to get the mix that I am to not be, I would think.. or would that still be interracial?

Anyhoo, coming from Hong Kong, I grew up with about a bazillion eurasians, and had contact with every race. When they say Hong Kong is an international place, they ain't kidding. I didn't even realise people were different until like 7, and by that time it was too late. I loved all my friends regardless of the poison my father tried to put in my mind (he was quite racist).

I think I've digressed. I can't remember what my point was.

It is an issue that has taken the back seat since Gay Marraige has arrived at the boards. I'm sure people have talked it to death, and its remains, piled up on the back burner. Misconceptions about interacial dating is still abound, though. I'd liek to gather opinions of the matter...as well as state my own.

I know there's a full spectrum of races getting at eachother, but, I'm only going to address two races. Black and White. Relationships involving black men and white women (and visa versa) seem to be the most misunderstood and indeed, disliked of all of the "race mixing."

Here are a few things I've noted:

1) White Men seem to think a White Woman is tainted, if she is dating a Black Man. This is for a simple reason: Penis Envy. In "white circles," she's now an outsider. A lot of White Men think that she's somehow whorish and is less-than-dateable.

2) Black Men seem to think that if a Black Woman is with a White Man, she's also a whore. Due to the misconception that a White Man cannot please a Black Woman. Many believe that the Man must be rich, or give her everything she wants, just to keep her at his side. In some cases, this is true, due to fear of her "going back to black."

3) Women (and Men) of both colors look at eachother strangely. I can't tell you how many times I've seen my girlfriend being stared at by White Women, as if she's a whore. I've also seen Black Men look at me as if they've just caught me stealing from them.


Again, these are just a few things I've noticed. The racism on both sides of the issue is incredible, and it amazes me how it's still some sort of taboo in some areas. I'm a Redneck/Hick, I'm about as Southern as a polecat in the fryin' pan (mm, tasty). I also fit the image of an Aryan to the T. Hell, I'm so white I glow in the dark. That doesn't stop me from loving. It shouldn't stop anyone from living their normal lives. This could also be applied to Homosexual Relationships.

There's also the slight misconception that to belong to one racial group, you have to become them. I've found this to be false as well. I blast my Metal in my car while driving through "Black Quarters" all the time, and I have just as many black friends as I do white friends...yet people still look at me as if I'm a "Wigger" (I hate Rythm and Poetry, love Rythm and Beat, though).

I have no idea what relevence that last statement had to do with the overall subject, I merely wanted to get that off my chest.

I feel better for it.

I just can't wait for someone to post about Interracial Homosexual Dating. They're so cute! They get flak from Homophobes AND Racists, though...'tis sad.

Anyhow, I digress...what is YOUR take in the issue? What ideas hav eyou grew up with, and what, of your ideas, have proven true?


Well, being as I am asexual and celibate, I cannot really see myself in a relationship at all...unless I were to find an asexual, celibate man (outside of the priesthood, of course) and that does not seem likely. I know that, as a white person, I can more easily see myself with another white person, than I can see myself with someone of another race. I just believe there would be likely more common groupnd. However, I'd not let skin color stand in the way of love, and if I ended up with someone of a different race, and it was right...I would not give a crap what anyone else said!

So, the short answer is...I'm not LOOKING for, say, a black man...but if the right man came along, and he was black, I'd not let that hold me back. Does that make any sense?

As for you, I get the impression that you are currently in an inter-racial relationship. And what I say to that is...if it works for you, then I'm all for it. I think it's terrific! Love knows no boundaries. And if anyone has a problem with your relationship, then guess who has the problem? It is THEM...not you or your partner...who has the problem. don't you let them make THEIR hangups and problems into your problems.

If people cannot accept the relationship you are in, and give it their blessing, they are probably people you are better off not knowing!

Well, I'm a mutt here myself, a PRODUCT of interracial dating (and interracial marriage, and interracial baby-making etc etc). So pretty much all of my relationships have3 been interracial. You'd have to get the mix that I am to not be, I would think.. or would that still be interracial?

Anyhoo, coming from Hong Kong, I grew up with about a bazillion eurasians, and had contact with every race. When they say Hong Kong is an international place, they ain't kidding. I didn't even realise people were different until like 7, and by that time it was too late. I loved all my friends regardless of the poison my father tried to put in my mind (he was quite racist).

I think I've digressed. I can't remember what my point was.

I think your point might be that hatred and prejudice are LEARNED behaviors. And they can, thus, also be unlearned. Most hatred is born of fear, and most fear is born of misunderstanding, and of unfamiliarity (not being exposed to different types of people and different races, cultures, nationalities.) You are very fortunate to have been exposed to that early in your life, during your most formative and impressionable years.

I’d wager that almost everybody on the planet has, what would be considered at the time by their culture, an “inter-racial” marriage at some point in their ancestery. It’s one of the reasons I reject the traditional idea of race.

It was actually kind of funny in my case. My fiancee was terrified of meeting my family as my grandfather served abord the USS White Plains during WWII and was at the Battle of Okinawa (she's Japanese).

I was terrified of meeting her family as not only are international/racial relationships in Japan not common, but her father and grandfather were at Hiroshima that terrible day.

It was very amuzing to find out that actually her family likes me better than her, and mine likes her more than they like me.

As for reactions, in the US we don't get any weird looks, but a lot of questions (Is her family ok with this? How hard is it to have an international relationship?). In Japan we sometimes get some strange looks, but I'm really out in the countryside so seeing Americans in general is a bit strange so it's hard to tell. We DID get one hostle look once, in Tokyo, from a Japanese man (The same rumor about black men are applied to Americans in general by some Japanese, so the same reactions sometimes apply). I just stared him down, and since I was much bigger than he was, he left pretty quickly.

I don't really have any worries for our kids as mixed race children are becoming the norm in the US (as this thread has proved), and most Japanese think Halfs (In Japan, strangely enough, it's not a racial term) are adorable. Though I am a little worried about later on, depending which country we live in.

If anything, the most annoying part of being in an internnational/racial relationship is dealing with all the stereotypes people have about your partner that they ask about.

The BEST part (besides getting the best food from both cultures), and the challenge, is that you cannot take anything for granted from your partner. We've both reacted differently to things based on our cultures and so we've had to do a lot of talking to understand and work things out. Which is good, as it improves communications between us. But sometimes I (or her) really DON'T want to have to explain how Americans view this, or how Japanese deal with that, and it would be nice if said partner knew about it already and reacted to it like I did.

I think any two people should be able to date or marry without getting stoned, sued, or arrested. What is wrong with the world when we can't let two people love eachother, but we can let people starve and be homeless?

Hey now! I want to be able to get married AND stoned :p

I agree with you though... whats up with wanting to tell people who they can and can't love? lol

wtfx0rz?

Holy geez. Leave for half a day and come back...BOOM!
Lots of posts...I'm kind of honored that a post I started hasn't died yet...
I love you all.

No matter what race you are. ;)

Well, being as I am asexual and celibate, I cannot really see myself in a relationship at all...unless I were to find an asexual, celibate man (outside of the priesthood, of course) and that does not seem likely. I know that, as a white person, I can more easily see myself with another white person, than I can see myself with someone of another race. I just believe there would be likely more common groupnd. However, I'd not let skin color stand in the way of love, and if I ended up with someone of a different race, and it was right...I would not give a crap what anyone else said!

So, the short answer is...I'm not LOOKING for, say, a black man...but if the right man came along, and he was black, I'd not let that hold me back. Does that make any sense?

As for you, I get the impression that you are currently in an inter-racial relationship. And what I say to that is...if it works for you, then I'm all for it. I think it's terrific! Love knows no boundaries. And if anyone has a problem with your relationship, then guess who has the problem? It is THEM...not you or your partner...who has the problem. don't you let them make THEIR hangups and problems into your problems.

If people cannot accept the relationship you are in, and give it their blessing, they are probably people you are better off not knowing!


Excellent post. And thank you for your tidings. Made me blush even. :)
The purpose of my post was to simply express the things I've noticed...I'm not trying to point to someoen and say they're racist, or even tell them to try it. I'm simply trying to gather people's outlook on the issue. Racist or not. Supporting or non-supporting.

It's heart-warming to see so many people who support it, and those who do not, that's fine, don't make it my problem and I won't make it yours. Simply know this, if you're ever confronted with love, and it's not in the wrapping you hoped for...don't worry...becuase underneath that wrapping is that same love that we, as human beings, collectively share.

And all that good stuff.

Simply know this, if you're ever confronted with love, and it's not in the wrapping you hoped for...don't worry...becuase underneath that wrapping is that same love that we, as human beings, collectively share.

And all that good stuff.
*sniff* That was so beautiful man!

Seriously, you got that right. I never went out looking for a Japanese girlfriend (a t-shirt to the contrary), but I'd love my fiancee no matter what she looks like. Love really does make that special woman the most beautiful in the world, ne?

I dont see the big issue. Its about compatability, its hard enough to find someone that you can work with as a life-partner, without worrying about irrelevencies. A person's ancestory should be an enhancement (something to take interest or pride in as a personal matter), not a barrier to love and long-term committment.

Whether or not someone shares your goals and aspirations, enhances your happiness and makes you want to enhance their happiness, these are things that matter when finding someone to engage romantically with. Really its all complicated enough without throwing in unnecessary ethnicity criteria.

Personally, I've noticed that when I meet someone, they have a level of attractiveness that is pretty much the same across the board. Some are a little higher, some are a little lower. Nothing to do with race or gender or anything. I find 99.99% of the world attractive just right off the bat. But when I interact with someone, their attractiveness level goes up or down, depending on whether I like what they say or not. People often start on the lower end of the scale and end up skyrocketing after 10 minutes of conversation. Attractive people can end up ugly.



... I totally forget where I was going with this.

Personally, I've noticed that when I meet someone, they have a level of attractiveness that is pretty much the same across the board. Some are a little higher, some are a little lower. Nothing to do with race or gender or anything. I find 99.99% of the world attractive just right off the bat. But when I interact with someone, their attractiveness level goes up or down, depending on whether I like what they say or not. People often start on the lower end of the scale and end up skyrocketing after 10 minutes of conversation. Attractive people can end up ugly.

... I totally forget where I was going with this.

i think you were trying to say what a horny devil you are ;)