NationStates Jolt Archive

Yeah, I know. I'm really bored.

(for the Super Mario fans) "I must be in another castle, because you're a princess."

"Your body is like an hourglass, and I really need to know what time it is."

"Girl, you make me wanna set the alarm on your biological clock."

Add your own, comment, etc.

I once had a guy walk up to me and ask me to cook him tacos naked. I still can't figure that one out...suffice to say, the dude got no tacos or poontang that night.

Hey baby, want to see THE LEGEND? (the guys will get this one, the girls wont.)

*sitting at a bar stool* “I’m not really this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.” :D

I once had a guy walk up to me and ask me to cook him tacos naked. I still can't figure that one out...suffice to say, the dude got no tacos or poontang that night.

You deprived him of sex AND tacos? You frigid bitch. :D (Note to Mods: JOKING! JUST JOKING! HONEST!)

Here's one I use sometimes:
"Do you taste as good as you look?"
Yeah, I know.

Hey baby, want to see THE LEGEND? (the guys will get this one, the girls wont.)
....This some kind of Zelda reference? Cuz I never played the games and my XY sex chromosomes don't tell me the answer!

"Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants."

"I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

"Is that a spacesuit you're wearing, 'cause you're outta this world!"

My name is Elmer Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.

Cuz I never played the games and my XY sex chromosomes don't tell me the answer!

...What?

My name is Elmer Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.

I laughed out loud (literally) when I read that.

'you've got a beep on your nose'
*squeezes nose*
'BEEP'

oh and my favourite

'Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.'

...What?
...That wasn't my pickup line...

THIS is my pickup line:

"Hey baby, got a mattress and 3 minutes?"

Yeah, just thought that up on the spot.

THIS is my pickup line:

"Hey baby, got a mattress and 3 minutes?"

Yeah, just thought that up on the spot.

:rolleyes: Way to go, Captain Stutle.

I once had a guy walk up to me and ask me to cook him tacos naked. I still can't figure that one out...suffice to say, the dude got no tacos or poontang that night.Is cause he screwed it up. Is supposed to be "I'd really like to see you naked rolling tacos" (or some variant) and probably derives from how Cuban women used to roll cigars between their thighs.

Personally I think the taco business would be kinda messy and not in a kinky way, but I would have no problem with a cigar. However to each their own, and as the Marquis de Sade said, "Sex without food is like pain without taste".

I once had a guy walk up to me and ask me to cook him tacos naked. I still can't figure that one out...suffice to say, the dude got no tacos or poontang that night.Thats the lamest line ever. And I have seen my fair share of lame lines. For example I've heard: "Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?", "I'm good at math. U+I=69", and "Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers."

:rolleyes: Way to go, Captain Stutle.
Indeed?

"Girl, you make me wanna set the alarm on your biological clock."

;)

Oh wait, lame pickup line, as the gay waiter said "May I push in your stool?"

Pick-up line: "Let's play 'Girls Gone Wild' the home game!"

Gay bar pick-up line: "Your mouth or mine?" :D

Oh wait, lame pickup line, as the gay waiter said "May I push in your stool?"

................. :confused: :eek:

as the Marquis de Sade said, "Sex without food is like pain without taste".

:rolleyes: Yes, a piece of wisdom for the ages.

"Hmm... Nice clothes. But they'd look better on my bedroom floor."

-Spill your drink on the girl- "Oh my! Let me take you home and get you out of those wet clothes!"

My best friends came up with this line. Just so you get it my name is Cam.

"Can you do the CAM CAM?"
My friend even made a comic about it. though I dont look nearly as hot as I do in life.
http://www.deviantart.com/view/9120375/

My best friends came up with this line. Just so you get it my name is Cam.

"Can you do the CAM CAM?"
My friend even made a comic about it. though I dont look nearly as hot as I do in life.
http://www.deviantart.com/view/9120375/

Get a new friend. :p

When you're good, you dont use pickup lines...

My best friends came up with this line. Just so you get it my name is Cam.

"Can you do the CAM CAM?"


Your friend must die, for the sake of decency and mercy.

Get a new friend. :p

Nahhh he's funny but If he gets too irratating i just slip him some of his "ADHD" medication :D

When you're good, you dont use pickup lines...

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, whatever.

Ahhh, the unbeliever....

Ahhh, the unbeliever....

Your right. No man has ever gotten me by using a pick up line.

You deprived him of sex AND tacos? You frigid bitch. :D (Note to Mods: JOKING! JUST JOKING! HONEST!)

yes, i was a frigid bitch. every day i regret the night i didn't go home with a man who had a cane and reeked of meth. every time i see a meth-head now, i give them a taco, or if i'm out of tortillas, i just fuck them.

When you're good, you dont use pickup lines...
Some of us prefer not to use roofies . . ..

Some of us prefer not to use roofies . . ..
ROFL. Thats just mean.

yes, i was a frigid bitch. every day i regret the night i didn't go home with a man who had a cane and reeked of meth. every time i see a meth-head now, i give them a taco, or if i'm out of tortillas, i just fuck them.

...Funny!

Some of us prefer not to use roofies . . ..

LOL! :D

Your right. No man has ever gotten me by using a pick up line.

I have one that works really well. I say, "Hi. I'm Jeff. May I buy you a drink?"

I have one that works really well. I say, "Hi. I'm Jeff. May I buy you a drink?"
Now, my name is Kevin. Can I still use that line?

Now, my name is Kevin. Can I still use that line?

Probably not a good idea, I recommend:

Hello. My name is Kevin. May I buy you a drink?

i dont use them myself, i'm just charming

but my fav is

hey baby you wanna find a stairwell and have some sex

"You have a beautiful ass, I mean it, I want to be all over that."

"I wanna be on you."

"Do you know who I am? I don't know how to say this but I am kind of a big deal, people know me. I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mohogany."

"Do the chickens have large talons?"

Ok, so not all of those are pick up lines, some are actually just movie quotes, fine you win they are all movie quotes! Is that what you wanted to here? (I am also very bored.)

Oh yeah, and then there is my favorite: "Nice shoes, let's fuck."

For me, a pick up line is something I use when I really want to get kicked in the balls, other wise I just club her in the back of the head. ;)

I want to be the derivative of your function: tangent to all your curves.

Are those spacee pants...cause your ass is outta this world!

I want to be the derivative of your function: tangent to all your curves.

The Mathematician in Love

A mathematician fell madly in love
With a lady, young, handsome, and charming:
By angles and ratios harmonic he strove
Her curves and proportions all faultless to prove.
As he scrawled hieroglyphics alarming.

He measured with care, from the ends of a base,
The arcs which her features subtended:
Then he framed transcendental equations, to trace
The flowing outlines of her figure and face,
And thought the result very splendid.

He studied (since music has charms for the fair)
The theory of fiddles and whistles, --
Then composed, by acoustic equations, an air,
Which, when 'twas performed, made the lady's long hair
Stand on end, like a porcupine's bristles.

The lady loved dancing: -- he therefore applied,
To the polka and waltz, an equation;
But when to rotate on his axis he tried,
His centre of gravity swayed to one side,
And he fell, by the earth's gravitation.

No doubts of the fate of his suit made him pause,
For he proved, to his own satisfaction,
That the fair one returned his affection; -- "because,
"As every one knows, by mechanical laws,
"Re-action is equal to action."

"Let x denote beauty, -- y, manners well-bred, --
"z, Fortune, -- (this last is essential), --
"Let L stand for love" -- our philosopher said, --
"Then L is a function of x, y, and z,
"Of the kind which is known as potential."

"Now integrate L with respect to d t,
"(t Standing for time and persuasion);
"Then, between proper limits, 'tis easy to see,
"The definite integral Marriage must be: --
"(A very concise demonstration)."

Said he -- "If the wandering course of the moon
"By Algebra can be predicted,
"The female affections must yield to it soon" --
-- But the lady ran off with a dashing dragoon,
And left him amazed and afflicted.

Apologies for length


Ahem, and girth :D

How about, 朝コーヒーを飲みましょうか/Asa koohii wo nomimashouka? (Shall we drink morning coffee together?)

My fiancee loves this line as I make her coffee every morning no matter what.

I want to be the derivative of your function: tangent to all your curves.

Did he really just say that? :rolleyes:


Or did I just lose my mind? :confused:



Seriously though, the only pickup line you'll ever need, "Hi, I'm _________ (fill in your real name there... unless it is Elmer, Shaggy, or Scooby), can I buy you a drink?"

A friend of mine asked his Grandfather what the Low German translation of "You are hot" is. He wanted to use it as a pick-up line for Mennonite girls.

Your right. No man has ever gotten me by using a pick up line.

Me either :rolleyes:

I want to be the derivative of your function: tangent to all your curves.

As long as you're doing that, you might as well ask her what her sine is...

lame pickup lines

Nice shoes...wanna fuck

My dog died *pause* wanna be my bitch

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled of Fertilised?

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Some of us prefer not to use roofies . . ..
LOL


So many of so little faith...

The closest thing I've used to a pick-up line is "Hey [insert her name here], what are you doing next weekend/tomorrow/etc?"

WELL...ok, there was the one time I used the "Nice boots, wanna fuck" line on a good friend...but...that was a joke more than a pick-up...

Oh wait, lame pickup line, as the gay waiter said "May I push in your stool?"

YUCKY !! lol

Nice shoes...wanna fuck

The Goth version of this line is "nice boots, wanna fuck?" :D

bump.

I have one that works really well. I say, "Hi. I'm Jeff. May I buy you a drink?"

No. Sorry. Getting me drunk won't work either. I will accept, that's never gotten a guy any Poontang (from me) either. You probably don't have enough money. I can drink about a fifth of Tequila an hour, and still say no. Been there and done it before.

Me either :rolleyes:
Same here! :rolleyes:

No. Sorry. Getting me drunk won't work either. I will accept, that's never gotten a guy any Poontang (from me) either. You probably don't have enough money. I can drink about a fifth of Tequila an hour, and still say no. Been there and done it before.
Huh? I don't think that's the idea...

Wanna shag now, or shag later?

God loves Austin Powers and Mike Myers

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

lmao, I damn near choked on my pizza when I read that.

Nice shoes...wanna fuck


Works best when the girl knows the line. Then it's just "Nice shoes." ;)

Two tactics that work for me, one without wingman and one with. The first works 9 times out of 10 with response, but can be hit or miss for an initial response. It involves going to a crowded place, and scanning the room. Once you lock eyes with a target (guy, girl, whatever), maintain eye contact in a non-committal way (NOT wide-eyed, simply observing) until they break the contact. Then, continue to scan the room for about 30 seconds, make your way to the girl, and introduce yourself. Works 9 times out of 10, (don't ask me why).

The second is more hit or miss (and you all have probably seen it done before). Position yourself near the bar (and hot target). Order a drink, maybe smile at the target. If she shows interest, signal wingman in an inconspicuous manner. Wingman approaches, and throws three terrible lines at said girl, allowing you to swoop in as knight in shining armor to take her to the dance floor. Hopefully, she won't see it coming. For this one, I prefer to be the wingman. It's alot of fun if you can pull it off without her dumping a drink all over your head.

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"


Holy Shit!! I love this !!!!

Holy Shit!! I love this !!!!

By far the best on the list. So much imagery.

I've broken the ice with my usual coarse manner by deliberately admiring a girl's ass and saying "Nice place you've got there".

By far the best on the list. So much imagery.


I agree-its so perfectly insane, I love it.

Once and only once has walking up and asking to feel some chicks breast actually worked. The second try I got smacked.

Even before the movie Hitch can out, I performed a variation of his. I walked up to this girl and told I thought she was exquisite, then walked back to where I was sitting. She was all over me the rest of the night.

I want to be the derivative of your function: tangent to all your curves.

On that note...

"I've been an astronomer for years, but I've never seen your heavenly body!"

"I don't care too much for calculus, but I'd love to find the area under your curves!"

etc. etc., if you don't get it, too bad.

On that note...

"I've been an astronomer for years, but I've never seen your heavenly body!"

"I don't care too much for calculus, but I'd love to find the area under your curves!"

etc. etc., if you don't get it, too bad.

Becasue you're missing out on the best lines ever

To think someone would record attempted pick-up lines and their successes.

http://linesthataregood.com/innuendo.html

Becasue you're missing out on the best lines ever
:D why thank you, I came up with them myself.

And if it's sarcasm, thank you anyway, cuz I <3 sarcasm.

How about:

'Can I have sex with you?'

Lines only work if the target is already in the mood.

Lame lines that have 'worked' on me:

"Hey, I just changed the sheets...wanna get them dirty?"

"You look like you're up for some casual sex."

And I was :D

I got some good use out of this one this weekend, mainly through drunken rambling and entirely without success (unsurprisingly):

*shouting over QOTSA* I HAVE A FREE TENT! WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IT!

*falls over*

I know the 'Nice shoes, wanna fuck' has been beaten to death in this thread already, but... I have a list of two and only two pick up lines whose use would at least have me considering the propositioner: The shoes, and the chloroform.

May I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

:D why thank you, I came up with them myself.

And if it's sarcasm, thank you anyway, cuz I <3 sarcasm.

No, I was serious. Nerd chicks would love them, dumb girls would have their brains melted and therefore become even easier than usual, and average women suck anyway.

No, I was serious. Nerd chicks would love them, dumb girls would have their brains melted and therefore become even easier than usual, and average women suck anyway.
They won't if you have that sort of attitude towards them!!!!!!

No, I was serious. Nerd chicks would love them, dumb girls would have their brains melted and therefore become even easier than usual, and average women suck anyway.
Well thanks, then :D

They won't if you have that sort of attitude towards them!!!!!!

Don't worry, I tend to go to the opposite extreme... I get all gentlemanly, so much so that sometimes girls get frustrated lol... hopefully I've learned my lesson :)

No, I was serious. Nerd chicks would love them, dumb girls would have their brains melted and therefore become even easier than usual, and average women suck anyway.

Ooh! So I neither suck, nor have an easily melted brain! Fankee ^.^

Ooh! So I neither suck, nor have an easily melted brain! Fankee ^.^

LOL, you got tolded!

The worst line I ever got was:

"I like it when a girl thinks she doesn't have to work out."

I just walked away

"I like it when a girl thinks she doesn't have to work out."

No matter how I say that in my head, it comes off sounding like a total insult. What was the guy (or girl) THINKING?

...Er. Rhetorical question.

The worst line I ever got was:

"I like it when a girl thinks she doesn't have to work out."

I just walked away

You should've killed that guy, that line sucks.

Bump.

[QUOTE=Zexaland]Yeah, I know. I'm really bored.

(for the Super Mario fans) "I must be in another castle, because you're a princess."

[\QUOTE]

HAHAHAHA.. that one is soo cool.. haha, im gonna have to use that some time. ahhaaha..

my pickup line is... : let's mate!
-what?
-date!date! we should date!... (hahahah dodgeball!!!)

I've never had a pick up line used on me. :( I feel left out!

However, my two sisters get the same one fairly consistently;

"What's your mix?" a rude, drunken way of asking what their ethnicity is. They offer free drinks if they get it right, but so far none of them have gotten it right.

Disclaimer these are dirty if they offend you dont read them.



Walk up to a girl and put arm around her and say right into her eyes "Hey baby whats its gunna take for me to hit that" or "Nice legs, what time do they open?"
or "I seem to have lost my head, could you give me some?" or "You could come over to my place have some chicken, some sex, you know we'll see where things go".

When the US navy was in town, my sister witnessed a guy walk up to a bunch of skankily clad (white) 13 year olds and go...

'Do you speak English?'

My sister and her friend started laughing, real loud, and the dejected marine went to his friends and sulked.

Once a guy sat next to me and after a couple of minutes he asked me if he could borrow my napkin. I gave it to him and watched as he folded it, then tore off the edges so that when he opened it, he had a paper heart. He then turned to me and smiled and said sweetly "Is this yours? Can I have it?"

Variation of something I've said already, but haven't actually used as a pick up line-

You know how they say that a man's size being inverse to his 'size?' Consider, I drive a 46 horsepower bus.

















And it does have a bed, in case you where wondering...

Once a guy sat next to me and after a couple of minutes he asked me if he could borrow my napkin. I gave it to him and watched as he folded it, then tore off the edges so that when he opened it, he had a paper heart. He then turned to me and smiled and said sweetly "Is this yours? Can I have it?"
Wow...

I kinda wanna fuck that guy...

Once a guy sat next to me and after a couple of minutes he asked me if he could borrow my napkin. I gave it to him and watched as he folded it, then tore off the edges so that when he opened it, he had a paper heart. He then turned to me and smiled and said sweetly "Is this yours? Can I have it?"
...I've gotta try that sometime...

Wow...

I kinda wanna fuck that guy...

I must admit he was successful. And a good time was had by all. :D

Once a guy sat next to me and after a couple of minutes he asked me if he could borrow my napkin. I gave it to him and watched as he folded it, then tore off the edges so that when he opened it, he had a paper heart. He then turned to me and smiled and said sweetly "Is this yours? Can I have it?"

Wow. That's good. I can use that.

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
That's awesome.

Most recent success:

He asked me, "So are you going to take me out for dinner sometime?" I answered, "I work five nights a week, and you work the two nights I have off. Shall we skip straight to breakfast?" BLAM, taste the rainbow.

BLAM, taste the rainbow.

....What?!

Wow. That's good. I can use that.

LOL use it wisely...

Do you want to have some pizza and then a fuck...... Or don't you like pizza?


*bows*

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance! Wanna fuck?

I'm on my way to my hotel room. Wanna cum?

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance! Wanna fuck?


Yeah, nothing says getting laid tonight like switching to a better automobile insurance plan.... :rolleyes:

I say this to ugly chicks that think they're hot
"your eyes are as blue as the toilet water"

I say this to ugly chicks that think they're hot
"your eyes are as blue as the toilet water"

..........

I say this to ugly chicks that think they're hot
"your eyes are as blue as the toilet water"

Errr... does that ever WORK for you? :rolleyes:

I say this to ugly chicks that think they're hot
"your eyes are as blue as the toilet water"

a girl said that to me once only I have brown eye's :(

Baby you're so hot you might be a gas giant

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" together

I don't want to come in between you two...or do I?

You're so hot I'd be willing to consider leaving my computer for you (This one hasn't worked too well)

You're so hot I'd be willing to consider leaving my computer for you (This one hasn't worked too well)

That turned me on a little bit >.< I need to have less of a weak spot for nerds.

Baby you're so hot you might be a gas giant


I...don't get it. :confused: