NationStates Jolt Archive

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one? The first time always sucks (so to speak). It takes experience to make it enjoyable.

I thought it was supposed to be the other way around… :confused:
I don't understand… how could it not be great? Not just the sex, but everything involved with it.

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

i want to say its just you cos im lookin forward to sex,but ill wait till after that to agree/disagree with you.

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?


What school do you go to?

Did she really enjoy it, or was she faking it?

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

Generally, it's not so great the first few times. Like anything, it takes practice to be good.

Doesn't mean it's the be-all and end-all of relationships, though. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

You were obviously doing something wrong then.

Give it time. And that's not just a euphomism, though it is kinda. But seriously, take your time, give it time and if you where in a situation where you where having to sneak, it wasn't under the best conditions.

Give it time. And that's not just a euphomism, though it is kinda. But seriously, take your time, give it time and if you where in a situation where you where having to sneak, it wasn't under the best conditions.
Actually, that's probably it. You can't really enjoy yourself and her when you're worrying about getting caught, and having to rush. You need a whole night alone.

do you get the same thing from choken your chicken if so see a doctor (my first time was great :confused: )

Did she really enjoy it, or was she faking it?

I doubt she was faking it if she invited me to come back over, but then again I guess I'll never really know the truth.

We weren't really rushing either, I don't know I guess my expectations were way too high.

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

Just you buddy.
No seriously, it is just you.

I mean, feck.
Usually sex sucks for women the first time--mainly because men suck the first time.

So, maybe you are gay--seriously maybe thats why it was boring.

Or maybe she is really a dead lay.

i dont know but I have never heard of college kid with no libido.

Just you buddy.
No seriously, it is just you.

I mean, feck.
Usually sex sucks for women the first time--mainly because men suck the first time.

So, maybe you are gay--seriously maybe thats why it was boring.

Or maybe she is really a dead lay.

i dont know but I have never heard of college kid with no libido.
You said "feck"!
I love you!
*gives out second fluffle ever* :fluffle:

I doubt she was faking it if she invited me to come back over, but then again I guess I'll never really know the truth.

We weren't really rushing either, I don't know I guess my expectations were way too high.
News flash on the faking part--women fake it and ask for more so they can train you to how they like it done.
Most women dont just want to be jumped up and down on.

Mayby she was really loose *shrug*

I don't know I guess my expectations were way too high.
You poor boy.

It's also the anxiety about the first time that can make it unpleasant.

Perhaps you are one of us...

The asexuals/anti-sexuals. The whole world isn't divided into homo, hetero, and bi after all. Just because you don't like sex doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

News flash on the faking part--women fake it and ask for more so they can train you to how they like it done.
Most women dont just want to be jumped up and down on.

That's a possibility but regardless I'm not going back over. I want some time to sort my thoughts.

BTW I'm definately not gay by any means.

We weren't really rushing either, I don't know I guess my expectations were way too high.

well, maybe it's a subconscious thing. maybe in a way, you thought it was wrong and thought you didn't deserve to enjoy yourself.... or maybe i'm talking complete sh*t. i honestly don't know

Perhaps you are one of us...

The asexuals/anti-sexuals. The whole world isn't divided into homo, hetero, and bi after all. Just because you don't like sex doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

yes it does!

You poor boy.

It's also the anxiety about the first time that can make it unpleasant.
Grr… now men are anxious about not pleasing their lady, since statistics about faking women were circulated. It's enough to ice one up.

You said "feck"!
I love you!
*gives out second fluffle ever* :fluffle:

Fluffle much appreciated and needed. ;)
for the record I say feck when I speak.

Maybe you're really awesome at it and she sucks... *shrugs*

question: why are you posting here shouldn't you be boasting to your mates?

well, maybe it's a subconscious thing. maybe in a way, you thought it was wrong and thought you didn't deserve to enjoyself.... or maybe i'm talking complete sh*t. i honestly don't know

That seems about right, the whole situation felt wrong. I was waiting for her to get done then I wanted to get the hell out of there.

Grr… now men are anxious about not pleasing their lady, since statistics about faking women were circulated. It's enough to ice one up.
Sad... but true.

question: why are you posting here shouldn't you be boasting to your mates?

I don't kiss and tell to my friends and the only reason this is here because I was curious if it was crappy for anyone else's first time.

Sad... but true.
Oh well, we men will just have to ask "did you fake that?" every time. Price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

question: why are you posting here shouldn't you be boasting to your mates?

Yes, because "I got laid but dude, it was really fucking awful" is the best boast evAr!.

That seems about right, the whole situation felt wrong. I was waiting for her to get done then I wanted to get the hell out of there.

well, there you go, you were worrying too much about getting out of there and you weren't concentrating on your own pleasure

Oh well, we men will just have to ask "did you fake that?" every time. Price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Why does it even matter that much?
Ignorance is bliss, is it not?

Yes, because "I got laid but dude, it was really fucking awful" is the best boast evAr!.

That made me laugh, thanks :D

I don't kiss and tell

**Thinks he has found the reason why it was unfulfilling** ;) :)

Perhaps you are one of us...

The asexuals/anti-sexuals. The whole world isn't divided into homo, hetero, and bi after all. Just because you don't like sex doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

well there's the fact that you're now removed from the gene pool, and cut out of fuly participating in society. but aside from that...

yes it does!
Oh, thanks a lot. Really, I appreciate it.

Why does it even matter that much?
Ignorance is bliss, is it not? But they've taken away ignorance.
Besides, making another person happy is good and fun. I suppose.

The asexuals/anti-sexuals. The whole world isn't divided into homo, hetero, and bi after all. Just because you don't like sex doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

I don't care that much about sex. I'd rather do something productive and not waste my time... breeding.

well there's the fact that you're now removed from the gene pool, and cut out of fuly participating in society. but aside from that...
And? It's not like my genes are worth passing on...

Why would not having sex cut you out of society?

cut out of fuly participating in society.

WTF? Care to explain? (Not that I'm asexual, but that seems to be going a bit far)

Just you buddy.
No seriously, it is just you.

I mean, feck.
Usually sex sucks for women the first time--mainly because men suck the first time.

So, maybe you are gay--seriously maybe thats why it was boring.

Or maybe she is really a dead lay.

i dont know but I have never heard of college kid with no libido.
No, it can suck for a dude. Dude's just don't admit it all the time because they don't want someone calling them gay.

But seriously, just because a rolled up sock and naked magazine can 'do the job' doesn't mean that all sex is going to be good.

Something may not have been in place (figuratively) for things not to have worked out-or dude doesn't feel right about it or the situation or the chick. I myself have had my experience with the 'just a chick' and it turns out that a big part of the thrill is who I'm with and I have to be into her.

Conditions really really really play a lot into whether the sex is going to be good or not, and how you feel about it is maybe even a bigger part.

I guess, too, you'd have to assess what you where expecting from the sex, too. And if she just laid there, well...it's a group effort-you'd think you wouldn't have to tell chicks that, but some...

Besides, making another person happy is good and fun. I suppose.
Yeah, I guess you're right... Although you are talking to the best actress this side of the Mississippi...

I don't care that much about sex. I'd rather do something productive and not waste my time... breeding.
Keeps those uppity women down.

I hold that the female orgasm is a myth, just like God or Big Foot.

yes it does!

Having little to no sexual drive does not mean there's something 'wrong' with you.

Grr… now men are anxious about not pleasing their lady, since statistics about faking women were circulated. It's enough to ice one up.
Seriously-women, you have a choice:
Fake orgasms or good sex.

If you give a dog a treat for shitting on your carpet, the dog will keep shitting on your carpet.

Well, now that you have reached the only goal of that twisted package that we call "love" and found that it isn't that great, the rehabilitation can begin. Love is, after all, an man-made attempt to legitimise primitive physical attraction, meaning that you can now dispel your illusions and give up on it entirely. Congratulations.

My frist sexual experiences were AWFUL. I had a man who was only concerned about his own pleasure. He would do something and tell me, "this is supposed to feel good;" and when I told him it didn't or suggested something else he would get very angry and claim that he knew what was best for my body, not me.

Sex is all about communication. You both need to sit down and tell each other what does and does not feel good. You also need to talk about what is and is not acceptable in the bedroom (positions, toys, foreplay, role-playing, costumes, games, oral, anal, and so forth). Also, you might want to try some lube to enhance both of your experiences (I recommend KY warming enhancing gel). This reduces anxiety when the act occurs and each person knows what each other expects in the bedroom. It also leaves you both comfortable enough to ask each other to try something new. You can then focus on her pleasure and she can focus on your pleasure.

Here is a non-pornographic, non-offensive site for you both to look at to discuss different sexual positions: http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/

You also might want to visit a web-site or store together and explore your options (by this, I am not talking about a porno store; I am talking about a store that has the items I mentioned above). I recommend this site/store: http://storeforlovers.com/

When a younger person asks me, "How do I know if I am ready for sex," I give them the advice above and tell them that if they are mature enough to communicate with their partner about sex, and feel comfortable being with their partner, then they know they are ready for sex with that person.

I hope this helps! :)

Keeps those uppity women down.

That'll teach them...them and their womaness... :p

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

I've definitely known other guys (and girls) who thought their first time was a major let-down. There's lots of possible reasons - simply that you're not terribly talented yet (who's talented at something the first time they try it?), that you set your expectations too high, that this wasn't the right girl, that you were nervous - any or all of the above could be a factor, as well as dozens of other things. I don't think it means there's something wrong with you or anything like that. Take some time to think things over, and when you're sure you're ready, try again. Don't feel pressured to prove your manhood by wanting lots of sex - it's perfectly manly to wait until you're comfortable with something before doing it, and you can safely ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. :)

Casual sex is pretty much like masturbation. It's just a physical act. No big deal. So, of course it wasn't great. Now, sex with someone you actually love, that's the ticket. Neither of you are worried about being good enough or whatever.

Lup, old buddy who I ahven't talked to in over a year, let me say this.

My first time was about a month ago. It wasn't fun for me either. Hell I didn't even finish if you get what I mean. That has also been my only time.


Just so you know, your not alone.

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

To ask a question no one else has... How do you feel about this girl? What was your prior relationship? Was it someone you knew, admired or simply picked out at random to lose your virginity with? Is she someone who shares the same intterests (sexual or otherwise); someone whose company you want outside the bedroom? Do you find her attributes attractive?

Such matters go a long way... What ever the case, instead of breaking of the relationship with your partner, I suggest you talk with her about your feelings on this issue and open up a little. Establish trust and explore the possibilities (if any) of your relationship together... What could you lose?

Originally Posted by Luporum
Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?


Don't be so hard on yourself, dude. I think the expectations surrounding sex are too high...that's a problem caused by by focusing on the act itself. Sex is sex, and it's different for everyone...there isn't supposed to be a set "way", which many of us made mistakes in thinking.

Anyways, given the increasing risk of STDs, chances of pregnancy and whatnot, sex is something that most people shouldn't be engaging in too frequently.

In essence, I think there are a million worse things in the world than what you went through. Maybe you won't see it now, but you'll see someday.

ok

next time

wait until you are in love

wait until you are so hot for the girl that you can hardly stand it

then if its not good, youre gay.

ok

next time

wait until you are in love

wait until you are so hot for the girl that you can hardly stand it

then if its not good, youre gay.

If he was in love with a girl and so hot for her that he could hardly stand it, I would think that'd be a pretty good indicator that he wasn't gay.

Sex is so casual nowadays that's it not fun anymore. :(

I hold that the female orgasm is a myth, just like God or Big Foot.


... You mean God and Bigfoot require a helluva lotta practice to exist?

The female orgasm exists, but the first 50 or so times, it takes damn near half an hour to get there.

I'm an odd case. I am attrated to both sexes, but I don't really desire sex. I want an intelligent individual with whom I can consider a good friend, love is too time consuming.

If he was in love with a girl and so hot for her that he could hardly stand it, I would think that'd be a pretty good indicator that he wasn't gay.
if the first time sex is boring under those circumstances, hes gay.

if the first time sex is boring under those circumstances, hes gay.

Or he could be uninterested at sex. It's not "one-for-the-other". There's middle ground.

Or he could be uninterested at sex. It's not "one-for-the-other". There's middle ground.
Yeah, he could just be impotent.

if the first time sex is boring under those circumstances, hes gay.

Okay. Sorry if I'm not up on things. Last I checked, gay meant 'being attracted to the same gender.' I gotta work this new definition out:

So ... if he's attracted to women, but not satisfied by them, he's automatically gay?


Well then, I AM NEANESS, FLAMING LESBIAN!

Five minutes ago I was fleeing out of girls dorm hoping to god no one would see me. I don't know how things got this way but all I know is I'm definately upset.

Upset at the myth that sex was great, it was boring as hell. I don't understand why men fight so hard for that. All that work for such a mediocre reward.

Personally I didn't enjoy it all that much if at all, she loved it and wants me to go over again tonight. I doubt I'm going back. Right now I think I like women for their company alone.

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

give it time .

I understand you think must people feels the first time sucks.

Yeah, he could just be impotent.

Nyeh. That's different again. You can love to have sex but still be impotent. Chandler and his wife in Friends? ;)

Nyeh. That's different again. You can love to have sex but still be impotent. Chandler and his wife in Friends? ;)
Who was his wife again, Jennifer Aniston?

I'm a bisexual asexual.

Lup, old buddy who I ahven't talked to in over a year, let me say this.

My first time was about a month ago. It wasn't fun for me either. Hell I didn't even finish if you get what I mean. That has also been my only time.


Just so you know, your not alone.

Good seeing ya again man.

BTW this girl invited me up to her dorm to watch movies. She was very aggresive and one thing led to another. I think I learned my lesson there...

Anyway now that I have my rational mindset back I am completely comfortable with what happened. Right after I was confused and my mind was racing with a million thoughts but now everything is clear again.

I don't even care about it anymore. I'm glad I did it because now I see that sex isn't a big deal. It's not even worth trying to get "Right now". Who knows maybe I'll think differently tommorow.

Thanks for the advice and comments, they are greatly appreciated (except the whole gay thing you bastards ;))

Fluffle much appreciated and needed. ;)
for the record I say feck when I speak.


gotta love Father Jack

Who was his wife again, Jennifer Aniston?

I'm a bisexual asexual.

Really?

I checked. It's Monica played by Courteney Cox.

Wait...how can you be bisexual and aesexual at the same time?

Wait...how can you be bisexual and aesexual at the same time?

I'd assume it's more like bi-asexual. As in, not being sexually attracted to either gender, but open romantically to both? That's how I am and would identify myself anyway. Not sure about Neo Kervoskia.

I'd assume it's more like bi-asexual. As in, not being sexually attracted to either gender, but open romantically to both? That's how I am and would identify myself anyway. Not sure about Neo Kervoskia.

Uh.....to be "-sexual" don't you have to be attracted to sex first?

Uh.....to be "-sexual" don't you have to be attracted to sex first?

That would be why bi-asexual makes more sense.

I'd assume it's more like bi-asexual. As in, not being sexually attracted to either gender, but open romantically to both? That's how I am and would identify myself anyway. Not sure about Neo Kervoskia.
That is correct, I did not know the term. Bi-asexual. I'm glad I'm not alone.

Dragonsbay, I knew it was one of them. I watched the show infrequently.

That is correct, I did not know the term. Bi-asexual. I'm glad I'm not alone.

Dragonsbay, I knew it was one of them. I watched the show infrequently.

Hahahahaha. Bi-aesexual doesn't make literal sense at all, but I get what you mean.

Yeah. Me too. I like One Tree Hill and the Bold & the Beautiful more. :D

hell i guess it just depeneds.my first time was fucking amazing lol :D

That is correct, I did not know the term. Bi-asexual. I'm glad I'm not alone.

Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it the 'term' for it. It's just what I use occasionally, because bisexual asexual is somewhat contradictory and it's annoying to have to say that I'm 'an asexual that is romantically open to both genders' every time I want to.

And Dragons Bay is right that it doesn't make literal sense. But it doesn't really matter so much if you take it at... symbolic? value. As in being bi without the sexual bit.

Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it the 'term' for it. It's just what I use occasionally, because bisexual asexual is somewhat contradictory and it's annoying to have to say that I'm 'an asexual that is romantically open to both genders' every time I want to.

And Dragons Bay is right that it doesn't make literal sense. But it doesn't really matter so much if you take it at... symbolic? value. As in being bi without the sexual bit.
True.

Driving can be an enjoyable experience, but the first time you drive is likely to be very stressfull. After all, like sex, it can be dangerous. However, most drivers take precautions, like always wearing a seat belt, to cut risks.

For most people sex isn't the wonderful thing that porn and peers make it out to be, but it can be very pleasent. Relax a bit, take precautions, and keep trying. Give it a fair go. It's extremely unlikely that you're one the very rare people with defective pleasure centers.

P.S. If you're a women reading this and you don't think you like sex, try stimulating your own cliterous during intercourse. Most women can't orgasm from penetration alone.

I don't understand why men fight so hard for that.I don't understand why men fight to hard to have sex with women, either...lol.

But in all seriousness, either it was bad because you weren't really into it, or it was bad because she was bad.

No, it can suck for a dude. Dude's just don't admit it all the time because they don't want someone calling them gay.

But seriously, just because a rolled up sock and naked magazine can 'do the job' doesn't mean that all sex is going to be good.

Something may not have been in place (figuratively) for things not to have worked out-or dude doesn't feel right about it or the situation or the chick. I myself have had my experience with the 'just a chick' and it turns out that a big part of the thrill is who I'm with and I have to be into her.

Conditions really really really play a lot into whether the sex is going to be good or not, and how you feel about it is maybe even a bigger part.

I guess, too, you'd have to assess what you where expecting from the sex, too. And if she just laid there, well...it's a group effort-you'd think you wouldn't have to tell chicks that, but some...

Ha!

You have to be in to her.

youd have toassess

lol

Maybe it's just me but does any other guy here not enjoy sex or am I the only one?

It's you. There is something deeply wrong with you. The fact that you would be posting in an internet forum five minutes after losing your virginity indicates the level of your abnormality.

Kid, you need to go back to that dorm. Get back in the game and this time give it a 100%, you sexual slacker.