NationStates Jolt Archive

What was the weirdest job you ever had?

I never have had a really weird job, but some were pretty strange like when I was working for the conductor of a symphony as his assistant. My job consisted of "Irishing up" his coffee every morning and forging his signature, and then I'd just sit there getting $10 an hour to listen to some really awesome music for a couple of hours.

What was the weirdest job you ever had?

I never have had a really weird job, but some were pretty strange like when I was working for the conductor of a symphony as his assistant. My job consisted of "Irishing up" his coffee every morning and forging his signature, and then I'd just sit there getting $10 an hour to listen to some really awesome music for a couple of hours.

That would be nice part time job! :)

What was the weirdest job you ever had?

I never have had a really weird job, but some were pretty strange like when I was working for the conductor of a symphony as his assistant. My job consisted of "Irishing up" his coffee every morning and forging his signature, and then I'd just sit there getting $10 an hour to listen to some really awesome music for a couple of hours.


..Can you refer me to this person? Please? I haven't had any weird jobs (yet...It'll happen. Don't worry).

..Can you refer me to this person? Please? I haven't had any weird jobs (yet...It'll happen. Don't worry).
The conductor moved away and his replacement didn't need me. :(

The conductor moved away and his replacement didn't need me. :(

..Did he move to Texas, perchance? lol, that would be an awesome job.

Meth Cook. You wouldn't beleive the rejects and fucktards I had to deal with. Thankfully I haven't had anything whatsoever to do with that side of society for many years.

Meth Cook. You wouldn't beleive the rejects and fucktards I had to deal with. Thankfully I haven't had anything whatsoever to do with that side of society for many years.
Ick... Meth?
My brother died from using it and half of our house burned down when a meth lab exploded up our street... 4 people dead.

http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/fudge.jpg

http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/fudge.jpg
I don't get it.

I don't get it.
"Fudge Packing" = Slang for Gay Sex.

I don't get it.
According to the caption, he's a fudge-packer.

"Fudge Packing" = Slang for Gay Sex.
OK, I have omly heard the term "Fudge Packing" once before. I guess it's rare for someone to call girl a fudge packer, even when they are gay.

Its a funny pic, now that I get it.

I spent one summer as a crab fisher. But not the cool kind like you see on TV, quite the opposite in fact. Mostly it was eighteen hour days chugging between little pots then pulling them up, and the only drama was when the skipper couldn't make it to the gunwhale to puke.

I spent one summer as a crab fisher. But not the cool kind like you see on TV, quite the opposite in fact. Mostly it was eighteen hour days chugging between little pots then pulling them up, and the only drama was when the skipper couldn't make it to the gunwhale to puke.
Yay! Getting seasick!! How exciting!

Yay! Getting seasick!! How exciting!

Umm yeah, it wasn't seasickness. More sort of boozesickness.

Saying that, I nearly lost my life several times owing to funky weather, and all because people want cheap crab at the dinner table.

I worked for a shoe repair shop one summer. Its weird because I made more fixing the shoe than the Chinese kid did making it.

I guess my job as a machine operator in a plastics factory would qualify as my "weirdest" job.

The job with the weirdest, and incidentally the best, stories was easily pizza delivery boy.

I guess my job as a machine operator in a plastics factory would qualify as my "weirdest" job.

The job with the weirdest, and incidentally the best, stories was easily pizza delivery boy.
I like Dave Chappelle's stories about delivering Pizza from when he was on Def Jam Comedy.

I like Dave Chappelle's stories about delivering Pizza from when he was on Def Jam Comedy.

You meet the most interesting people....

*fudge packing picture goes here because I'm sure you're tired of seeing it*


My mom's husband used to work for a fudge company. His jobs were to sell and package the fudge.


So I can say, quite loudly, in polite company: "My mom's husband used to be a fudge packer and didn't stop until they'd been married nearly a year!" ^.^

You meet the most interesting people....
Haven't you heard of Dave Chappelle? He had a show on Comedy Central, and is now making a fair bit of money selling the show on DVD. Unless you are being sarcastic...

Haven't you heard of Dave Chappelle? He had a show on Comedy Central, and is now making a fair bit of money selling the show on DVD. Unless you are being sarcastic...

Of course I've heard of Dave Chappelle. I'm saying you meet some interesting characters delivering pizzas, especially in a college town like I did.

Of course I've heard of Dave Chappelle. I'm saying you meet some interesting characters delivering pizzas, especially in a college town like I did.
Are you gonna share some stories with us?

I guess that was the 63rd time I made myself look like an idiot on this forum.

I guess that was the 63rd time I made myself look like an idiot on this forum.

Don't worry, you're still way behind me. :D

Are you gonna share some stories with us?

I guess that was the 63rd time I made myself look like an idiot on this forum.

Pssh. 63's nothing. Just wait 'til you can do it more than once in the same post! It's an art form!

Are you gonna share some stories with us?

I guess that was the 63rd time I made myself look like an idiot on this forum.

What kind of story do you want? There's drunk girl stories, drunk frat guy stories, stoned stories, fight stories, annoying customer stories, bad stories....

What kind of story do you want? There's drunk girl stories, drunk frat guy stories, stoned stories, fight stories, annoying customer stories, bad stories....


I'll take the drunk girl, stoned, and annoying please?

I'll take the drunk girl, stoned, and annoying please?

You want a story about a drunk and stoned girl who was annoying? Hmm...give me uno momento, por favor.

Heh, the slut stories are so much easier to remember....

Anyway, one night I was making a delivery to one of the apartment complexes that are a good mile off campus. After I'd delivered the pizza, and was ready to take off, this pair of girls, completely wasted, came running up to me to ask me to drive them to campus. They were cute enough, and since it happened often and I personally wouldn't want to walk all that way either, I told them sure. They both loaded into the cab of the truck, and I backed out of the parking lot and headed towards campus. The girl who had asked for the ride was sitting next to me, and she decided that she wanted to sit on my lap and help me drive the truck, so she tried to climb into my lap while jerking the steering wheel around. I tried to hold her down, off of my lap, while attempting to keep the truck on the road. We proceeded to swerve down the road until she inexplicably turned around and started kissing me, and at the same time jerked the steering wheel so hard to the right that the truck ran up onto the sidewalk and onto the lawn in front of one of the science buildings, before I slammed on the brakes and stopped the truck. I got out of the truck and forced them out too, but instead of just walking away, they both decided to get into the bed of the truck as I was backing back onto the road. So I had to get back out of the truck, pull them down from the bed, and threaten to call the cops to get them to leave me alone.

What kind of story do you want? There's drunk girl stories, drunk frat guy stories, stoned stories, fight stories, annoying customer stories, bad stories....

Oooh, what about the guy who answered the door drunk and stoned, but then found out that his friends had hidden the money?

(that would be me :p)

Oooh, what about the guy who answered the door drunk and stoned, but then found out that his friends had hidden the money?

(that would be me :p)

Thank god that never happened to me. That would piss me off royally. I have had people hide the money and make me look for it, though it was girls and it was on their person.

Thank god that never happened to me. That would piss me off royally. I have had people hide the money and make me look for it, though it was girls and it was on their person.

It pissed me off royally too.

I think the pizza guy was standing there for about 10 minutes. Though I gave him a beer as consolation.

Heh, the slut stories are so much easier to remember....

More slut stories, then? Or, y'know, just the highlights of the pizza delivery career.

Incidentally, one two occasions now, I've been the girl who realizes at the last minute that I don't have money for the tip. Both times, I've emptied out the junk drawer in search of things that could be substituted. I think once I gave magnetic poetry and the other time was ... staples, string, tape, thumbtacks, and colourful paperclips. I'm surprised my house hasn't been blacklisted by the local pizza places. But twice was enough, and now I make sure to factor in the tip when figuring out if I can afford pizza or if I've gotta cook AGAIN.

Not that weird for me but here goes.

Methadone dispenser.
Junk mail packer. (putting stuff in envelopes really, not weird but people hated me for doing it) :)

Roadie. Had to be the best, I worked on gigs for Rolf Harris (v.v. funny when he toured universitys) and Fat Boy Slim, where I got yelled at by Zoe Ball for not enjoying the gig. (he was still on an hour after the supposed end and I had to take all the stuff down afterwards).

Current weird job. I make fish pigment. :)

More slut stories, then? Or, y'know, just the highlights of the pizza delivery career.

Incidentally, one two occasions now, I've been the girl who realizes at the last minute that I don't have money for the tip. Both times, I've emptied out the junk drawer in search of things that could be substituted. I think once I gave magnetic poetry and the other time was ... staples, string, tape, thumbtacks, and colourful paperclips. I'm surprised my house hasn't been blacklisted by the local pizza places. But twice was enough, and now I make sure to factor in the tip when figuring out if I can afford pizza or if I've gotta cook AGAIN.

The slut stories usually are the highlights.

One time I had a delivery to a house not too far away from the store. This girl came to the door (slightly drunk, of course) and I handed her the pizza. She took it, then took my hand and pulled me inside, and said, "I don't have a tip for you, sorry. But I do have this for you." She then took the cash out of her pocket and put them down the front of her pants, and with my hand still in hers, stuck my hand down her pants and told me to get the money....

It pissed me off royally too.

I think the pizza guy was standing there for about 10 minutes. Though I gave him a beer as consolation.

A beer or a bong hit are always acceptable tips for the pizza delivery guy.

I worked on gigs for ... Fat Boy Slim

I used to have a hamster named Fat Boy Slim. He was born really fat and got absurdly skinny before evening out, thus the name. He was the escape artist of my hamsters (7 at that point. The first one was pregnant when I got her >.<). I used to play the Rockafeller Skank for him and he wake up when he heard it, run on his wheel throughout the whole song, and go back to sleep when it was over.

Incidentally, I now have a stuffed dancing hamster that plays the same song.

The slut stories usually are the highlights.

One time I had a delivery to a house not too far away from the store. This girl came to the door (slightly drunk, of course) and I handed her the pizza. She took it, then took my hand and pulled me inside, and said, "I don't have a tip for you, sorry. But I do have this for you." She then took the cash out of her pocket and put them down the front of her pants, and with my hand still in hers, stuck my hand down her pants and told me to get the money....
I think thats better than a tip.

The slut stories usually are the highlights.

One time I had a delivery to a house not too far away from the store. This girl came to the door (slightly drunk, of course) and I handed her the pizza. She took it, then took my hand and pulled me inside, and said, "I don't have a tip for you, sorry. But I do have this for you." She then took the cash out of her pocket and put them down the front of her pants, and with my hand still in hers, stuck my hand down her pants and told me to get the money....

Is that a suggestion, then? ;)

I think thats better than a tip.

It always was. :D

Is that a suggestion, then? ;)

I would suggest that every hot drunk girl who I delivered a pizza to allow me to feel her up, yes.

I would suggest that every hot drunk girl who I delivered a pizza to allow me to feel her up, yes.
If you have to deliver pizza to me, I'll let you feel me up :D

It always was. :D

It happened to you more then once?
And to think I once turned down a job as a pizza delivery boy... :headbang:

I would suggest that every hot drunk girl who I delivered a pizza to allow me to feel her up, yes.

Would you forgo the tip in every case of a hot girl allowing you to feel her up? And does she have to be drunk?

The Wierdest job I ever had was being the "drink bitch" to a paint crew. Lacking any other job at the time, and being a regular on a roofing crew, I thought I would be doing what I normally do when roofing, which is, cleanup everything, bring stuff to the painters, and get the food. But my only job was literally to sit around until someone needed a drink, then go to the store and get it.

I got paid by the hour for this for about a week. And on the subject of stories, I do have one story involving women (or a woman). As usualy I was working with a roofing crew on this house (me, and two roofers), and I had to go through the house to the bathroom window to knock some shingles that were hanging down and not let it scrape the house. Well, I went up a set of stairs, turned and standing right there in a doorway (to her room) was this amazing redhead (I knew her from school, it was quite awkward) in her underwear. It took her a bit to realize I was there, standing motionless, and that promptly induced a loud shriek, giggling, and a slamming of the door. After a few weeks of worrying night after night of a lawsuit or something, I finally was able to walk past her in school, though every conversation after that was not without some awkward silences.

I think the weirdest job I ever had,

I kept records for a government program that was rebated farmers for money they spent improving thier genetic cattle stock. What did this mean in practice?

I kept receipts and records for the type, quantity, and quality of the bulls and bull semen sold in my home county, and then transmitted that info to a guy in the state capital.

Funny thing, a lot of the farmers are abusing the system. I noticed that 4 farmers living on the same street have sold themselves the same bull 7 or 8 times, sometimes more than once a day, and they collect thier $1000 dollars for buying the bull each time.

If you have to deliver pizza to me, I'll let you feel me up :D

Heh, thanks, but I don't work there anymore, and I doubt you were in our delivery region anyway. :)

It happened to you more then once?
And to think I once turned down a job as a pizza delivery boy... :headbang:

It happened dozens of times in different variations. One time a girl answered the door naked with the money between her breasts, and she told me that if I wanted a tip I had to get the money using my teeth. There were five or ten people in the house with her; it was obviously a dare. Another time a girl offered me a blow job as a tip. The sex tips were much fewer than the beer or pot tips, but much more memorable.

Would you forgo the tip in every case of a hot girl allowing you to feel her up? And does she have to be drunk?

Well I only said drunk because the sober ones rarely offered you that sort of tip. It really took a lot of alcohol for a girl to lower her inhibitions that much.

I think that, with the infrequency of beautiful girls ordering Dominos pizza, that I would forego the tip in every case of a hot girl allowing me to feel her up. It wouldn't happen enough for it to hurt my wallet too much.

Well I only said drunk because the sober ones rarely offered you that sort of tip. It really took a lot of alcohol for a girl to lower her inhibitions that much.

I think that, with the infrequency of beautiful girls ordering Dominos pizza, that I would forego the tip in every case of a hot girl allowing me to feel her up. It wouldn't happen enough for it to hurt my wallet too much.

... So the plan to make the local delivery boys the happiest in the world whilst saving me and my friends money wouldn't work? Damn.

One time a girl answered the door naked with the money between her breasts, and she told me that if I wanted a tip I had to get the money using my teeth. There were five or ten people in the house with her; it was obviously a dare.
I've been dared to do that, except the part were the delivery boy had to get it with his teeth. His hand was shaking a fair bit, I'm glad he didn't do it with his teeth.

... So the plan to make the local delivery boys the happiest in the world whilst saving me and my friends money wouldn't work? Damn.

I don't know. I delivered pizzas in a college town, where that sort of behavior was expected on the weekends. If you and your friends are willing to offer the delivery boys sexual favors as tips, then by all means do so. I guarantee it will work far more often then it won't work.

I've been dared to do that, except the part were the delivery boy had to get it with his teeth. His hand was shaking a fair bit, I'm glad he didn't do it with his teeth.

HA! I would imagine.

Believe me, you made his day anyway. So much of a delivery boy's day is taking pizzas to families who tip him $.65 and whine about the service, that even if he doesn't get a tip from you, just not being a heinous bitch with sand in her vagina is enough to make his night.

I don't know. I delivered pizzas in a college town, where that sort of behavior was expected on the weekends. If you and your friends are willing to offer the delivery boys sexual favors as tips, then by all means do so. I guarantee it will work far more often then it won't work.

Brilliant! Neaness will now sink to new lows to save money with which to ensure she eventually WILL live in a college town.

However, now it is 2 AM and she needs to sleep. But keep with the stories. The stoner stories and the frat boy stories oughta be good once you run out of slut stories.

DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE!

Ick... Meth?
My brother died from using it and half of our house burned down when a meth lab exploded up our street... 4 people dead.
Very sorry to hear that. My condolences. I got out of the business because I ended up hating myself for what I was doing. That and my life expectancy was fast approaching nil, despite the fact I had no inclination to actually use the shit I was making. I'm NOT proud of what I did, let me assure you. I was strung out on Morphine & Heroin the entire time...hence my morals/scruples had become negligible by the time I started making the garbage.

One of the more insane things I witnessed (but refused to have any part in) was someone using potassium ferro cyanide (yes cyanide..though it was a bonded molecule form, therefore not the super deadly shit) as a catalyst for the reaction, instead of the usual red phosphorous.

Brilliant! Neaness will now sink to new lows to save money with which to ensure she eventually WILL live in a college town.

However, now it is 2 AM and she needs to sleep. But keep with the stories. The stoner stories and the frat boy stories oughta be good once you run out of slut stories.

DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE!

Yes ma'am. And be sure to send me pictures of all your exploits so I can make sure you are doing it properly. ;)

So much of a delivery boy's day is taking pizzas to families who tip him $.65 and whine about the service, that even if he doesn't get a tip from you, just not being a heinous bitch with sand in her vagina is enough to make his night.
That coment made my night. I must make alot of deliveryboy's nights because I am almost always pleasant (I hope), and I tip about three and a half dolars (I do order three pizzas though-to geta pricebreak).

That coment made my night. I must make alot of deliveryboy's nights because I am almost always pleasant (I hope), and I tip about three and a half dolars (I do order three pizzas though-to geta pricebreak).

Being hot and naked would certainly help your cause as well. The hot, naked girls were always my favorite ones to deliver to.

Being hot and naked would certainly help your cause as well. The hot, naked girls were always my favorite ones to deliver to.

Apparently hairy naked men aren't nearly as favored to deliver to. Either that or my neighbors shoot all the pizzaboys sent to my house.

Apparently hairy naked men aren't nearly as favored to deliver to. Either that or my neighbors shoot all the pizzaboys sent to my house.

Nope, and believe me, I had many a drunk, naked dude answer the door for his pizza....

Being hot and naked would certainly help your cause as well. The hot, naked girls were always my favorite ones to deliver to.
What about hot and in reveiling clothing? Thats how I almost always am.

What about hot and in reveiling clothing? Thats how I almost always am.

Cleraly this will require pictures be submitted to a panel consisting of Sdaeriji and I to determine whether or not that is sufficient.

Cleraly this will require pictures be submitted to a panel consisting of Sdaeriji and I to determine whether or not that is sufficient.

I concur.

This summer I worked as a technician in an animal research lab. I worked mainly with mice, determining breedings, killing undesirable mice en masse with a carbon dioxide gas chamber, and killing desirable mice by breaking their necks and dissecting them for whatever experiment is necessary. The method for breaking a mouse's neck is this: pin down the neck with the length of a pencil, and slowly pull the tail until you hear the vertebrae snap. At first it was really creepy but then I got used to it, and I rationalize all this killing by learning that mice are violent murderous types anyways. Mother mice will eat their babies for moisture if they run out of water, non-virgin males always fight and try to bite each others' balls off, and all males will kill baby mice that are not theirs'.

This summer I worked as a technician in an animal research lab. I worked mainly with mice, determining breedings, killing undesirable mice en masse with a carbon dioxide gas chamber, and killing desirable mice by breaking their necks and dissecting them for whatever experiment is necessary. The method for breaking a mouse's neck is this: pin down the neck with the length of a pencil, and slowly pull the tail until you hear the vertebrae snap. At first it was really creepy but then I got used to it, and I rationalize all this killing by learning that mice are violent murderous types anyways. Mother mice will eat their babies for moisture if they run out of water, non-virgin males always fight and try to bite each others' balls off, and all males will kill baby mice that are not theirs'.

You must have really messed up thoughts in your head when you visit Disneyland huh?

Some of my friends and I once got a pizza boy to strip for us. We had the upbeat stripper music and the 1 dollar bills ready and waiting for when he got there.

We've scared Cana2 away, it seems.

Some of my friends and I once got a pizza boy to strip for us. We had the upbeat stripper music and the 1 dollar bills ready and waiting for when he got there.

These the same friends from the infamous groping picture you posted? I wish I could have been that delivery boy.

These the same friends from the infamous groping picture you posted? I wish I could have been that delivery boy.
Infamous picture, eh?
I didn't know it was that well known. Eeep.

Infamous picture, eh?
I didn't know it was that well known. Eeep.

*cough* (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v245/Caitlinface/MadMeNicoleAnnie.jpg)

*cough* (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v245/Caitlinface/MadMeNicoleAnnie.jpg)
I should have seen this coming... hehe

I should have seen this coming... hehe

I can certainly imagine worse things than being paid to do a striptease for those four girls.

Some of my friends and I once got a pizza boy to strip for us. We had the upbeat stripper music and the 1 dollar bills ready and waiting for when he got there.
I guess strippers must like the tips they get here, see how $5 is the smallest bill.

We've scared Cana2 away, it seems.
Nope, looking for this pic (http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b118/epsonee/1.jpg) of me. Thats the only decent size pic of myself. I would be wearing something different, when I answer the door ;).


Anyways how about a nice stoner story from your days a pizza boy Sdaeriji. Stoners are always good for a laugh.

gutting and cleaning squid. That was a weird job. Especially the mounting pile of squid eyes. Very weird.

private investigations, collateral recovery, fugitive location/recovery, fraud detection & control-freelance & for bank/govt/bounty hunter

construction. finance manager at an auto dealer.

I have enough stories and characters for a book...

HA! I would imagine.

Believe me, you made his day anyway. So much of a delivery boy's day is taking pizzas to families who tip him $.65 and whine about the service, that even if he doesn't get a tip from you, just not being a heinous bitch with sand in her vagina is enough to make his night.
Always always always be kind and generous to the people who bring you food. They have your food....


Anyway-

I've been a proffesional ass a few times:

- Sold knock off perfume business to business for a week. You won't believe the bullshit these assmonkeys tell themselves every morning.

- Sold car stereos out of the back of a car for exactly a day. The highlight-the guy who was supposed to 'train' me (by taking me to a spanish speaking area and speaking spanish all day knowing that I did not) had a suspended liscence so he had me drive, not knowing mine was suspended too. I got to drive his all-wheel drive turbo Talon. I kept put the sport settings on when he wasn't looking. That job didn't even look right.

- Telesurveys. bleh.

- Telemarketing. I'm sorry. Nothing you do can really effect these people. All the things I've seen people say they do gets done enough times a day that it's just another thing. The only real thing you can do that actually pisses them off is waste thier time-feign intrest and keep them going until you bail on the whole deal 15 minutes later. Pranksters are just one more step they take to the sale, they just don't care.

- Ninja Turtle. I went to kids birthday parties dressed as a Ninja Turtle or other character, as well as picnics. Best. Job. Ever. Ask Lunatic Goofballs.

A weird job is being a gangster. or a carjacker.

Asshole stretcher

Asshole stretcher

You're Goatse?

I'm eagerly awaiting Lunatic Goofball's post(s), lol.

HA! I would imagine.

Believe me, you made his day anyway. So much of a delivery boy's day is taking pizzas to families who tip him $.65 and whine about the service, that even if he doesn't get a tip from you, just not being a heinous bitch with sand in her vagina is enough to make his night.

My friends and I sometimes go out for pizza. We're strange and random people, but we haven't scared off any customers yet and we tip 25-50% on a cheap day. The trick is to tip well and then nobody hates you ^.^

A friend of a guy I know was a guy hired by Toys R Us to be the cool teenager playing with various toys. Apparently it was very boring. After a couple of days, the guy I know went to visit him and he was lying there in the Lego aisle, very very still. The Lego over his head spelled out "please kill me." He was so happy when he got fired.

... I wish I was the cool teenager who played with the toys. Except the nearest Toys R Us is too far away :(

My friends and I sometimes go out for pizza. We're strange and random people,
You go out for Pizza?!?!:eek: How strange and random.

A friend of a guy I know was a guy hired by Toys R Us to be the cool teenager playing with various toys. Apparently it was very boring. After a couple of days, the guy I know went to visit him and he was lying there in the Lego aisle, very very still. The Lego over his head spelled out "please kill me." He was so happy when he got fired.

... I wish I was the cool teenager who played with the toys. Except the nearest Toys R Us is too far away :(I think it is not possible for that job to become boring. Even if it did, it couldn't be as boring as working at McD's

The job I have now is pretty weird.....but it is so much fun and I get paid SO well....I also get lots of vacation time....I'm a Hall Monitor at a school for gifted (as in bright and smart) children!! I love it!! :)

Roadie. Had to be the best, I worked on gigs for Rolf Harris (v.v. funny when he toured universitys) and Fat Boy Slim, where I got yelled at by Zoe Ball for not enjoying the gig. (he was still on an hour after the supposed end and I had to take all the stuff down afterwards).

Are we talking local crew or actual road crew here? Either way a tip of the hat from one of the hum scum here. I haven't done much crew work, but certainly found it a soul destroying occupation compared to actually running a mixing desk.

DJing has been the job thats gotten me into the wierdest situations, but its been ages since I did it on a regualr basis.

Having a 15 year old girl come up to me and tell me I could do anything I wanted with her if I gave her a bunch of E...yeesh! I told her I'd give her all the E she wanted for the rest of her life if she promised to never ask someone that question again. Definitely a turning point for me in regards to my attitude towards the entire scene.

Having some scamp start messing with the faders and knobs while I was mixing was another low point...the fucktard.

Also had people try to steal my records from my bin WHILE I was playing.

On the whole, having to be sober while spinning (cuz my mixing skills go to shit when I do get high on anything...well except ...nevermind) I got to see what I must have looked like to sober people during the times I did do E and the like. No thanks, don't want to look/be that stupid in public.

DJing has been the job thats gotten me into the wierdest situations, but its been ages since I did it on a regualr basis.

Having a 15 year old girl come up to me and tell me I could do anything I wanted with her if I gave her a bunch of E...yeesh! I told her I'd give her all the E she wanted for the rest of her life if she promised to never ask someone that question again. Definitely a turning point for me in regards to my attitude towards the entire scene.

Having some scamp start messing with the faders and knobs while I was mixing was another low point...the fucktard.

Also had people try to steal my records from my bin WHILE I was playing.

On the whole, having to be sober while spinning (cuz my mixing skills go to shit when I do get high on anything...well except ...nevermind) I got to see what I must have looked like to sober people during the times I did do E and the like. No thanks, don't want to look/be that stupid in public.
Got any other stories? Those were all excellent (except the one about the 15 yr old, thats kinda sad).

In high school, I taught rock climbing.

Also, one summer I worked for a company that would buy estates... and then my crew would go in to take anything that was salvagable for sale in the flea/furniture market. It was actually a lot of fun... because we paid so little for the estates, we didn't have to be real careful with things unless we thought they would be worth a lot. So we used to throw furniture out of second-floor windows and just make big piles on the lawn. Whatever survived, we sold.

My sister just got back from her shift at McD's. Apparently to rather smashed girls came in and ordered some food. When my sister asked for the money, the started hitting on her. She put out her hand and ask for the money again. The one girl grabbed my sister's hand, put it up her(the drunk girl) shirt and said "Are we even now?" My sister had a good laugh at that and did get the money.


Anyway, the moral of the story is "When you are drunk enough, you can't tell what gender other people are.

Got any other stories? Those were all excellent (except the one about the 15 yr old, thats kinda sad).
Harmless hates testosterone chest-thumping harmless little old me (well, okay, I'm 6'2" and know jiu-jitsu, but you get the idea) got into a fist fight with this crazy Afrikaaner (south african redneck) right near the edge of a cliff (I'm afraid of hights) in a Greek resort town. This guy was just a total ass. I'd met him after doiung a set @ The Pink Club, the single most sketchy and everything right and wrong about the scene place you can find on the planet. He just kind of attached himself to me, and at first it wasn't such a problem.

At first he seemed nice enough, in a sketchy kind of way..but *everybody* was sketchy, self included, on that little jaunt. Anyways, on the ferry ride back from the mainland, asked if he could draw and write something in my sketchbook, which is something I've always encouraged friends I make during my travels to do. I handed the book over to him and he proceeded to spend the next 45 minutes making a sketch, which he wouldn't let me peek at while he was drawing it. When he handed my book back to me, I saw a full page drawing, very well executed (he was talented) with the most vile racist picture of an African I'd ever seen. I'm talking horns, leering eyes, hands down pants, every single racist evil stereotype you can imagine. Surrounding the picture was the text "The Devil is a Kaffir-Man!"

It was like he'd defiled my entire book with that one drawing. I 'd been up for a few days already, having rather heavily overindulged (impossible not to do so where I'd just come from) so I was really showing just how pissed off I was. While on the ferry he avoided me, but as soon as we got off the thing, he got into my face spouting racist BS and calling me a ****** lover. As if that wasn't bad enough, he started vilely insulting this beautiful (in mind body & spirit) Ethiopian girl I'd become friends with during the same period. Called her "Black bitch only good for making little fucking ****** devils" As I said, I'd been up for days. Before I even knew what I was doing, my fist connected with his face. (I never get into fights..I HATE violence)

We rolled around on the ground bashing each other with our fists and feet, and nearly rolled off the cliff. The fight only ended because a couple local gendarmes pulled us apart. I thought we were both done for at that point (Greek Police = Not nice dudes, usually) but it turned out this Afrikaaner dude had a record and was wanted for starting trouble in the same damn area several times, and had warrants for possesion/trafficing of PCPs, Metch, everything nasty vile.

The Gendarmes hauled him off, kicking and screaming, trying to implicate me as someone as vile as him the whole time. Fortunately they'd seen the entire thing play out and just took my statement, let me wash up and sent me packing. I'm sure they worked he Afrikaaner over far worse than I did. I ended up playing my remaining 3 gigs with a great big black-eye and nasty cut across my forehead. and a cracked knucklebone on my right hand. None of the people I was met afterwards could figure out how someone got me mad enough to fight, as I'm usually so laid back. When I explained things, they just nodded knowingly. Karl (the afrikaaner) had a reputation all over the area for just such BS, it turns out.

-snip-
He deserved an ass-kicking. What a prick.

My sister just got back from her shift at McD's. Apparently to rather smashed girls came in and ordered some food. When my sister asked for the money, the started hitting on her. She put out her hand and ask for the money again. The one girl grabbed my sister's hand, put it up her(the drunk girl) shirt and said "Are we even now?" My sister had a good laugh at that and did get the money.


Anyway, the moral of the story is "When you are drunk enough, you can't tell what gender other people are.

Maybe they could tell her gender and just thought your sister was hot?

Maybe they could tell her gender and just thought your sister was hot?
No. But maybe they remembered she's a lesbian. Im 90% sure though that the girls werent attracted to her.

No. But maybe they remembered she's a lesbian. Im 90% sure though that the girls werent attracted to her.

I don't know. If I remember what you look like correctly, if you're sister's half as gorgeous then I can't imagine anyone being able to keep their hands off.

I don't know. If I remember what you look like correctly, if you're sister's half as gorgeous then I can't imagine anyone being able to keep their hands off.
Shes my identical twin, so she looks exactly as gorgeous as me.

PS your really sutle when you suck up.

Shes my identical twin, so she looks exactly as gorgeous as me.

PS your really sutle when you suck up.

Well she can't be exactly as gorgeous as you. Maybe almost as gorgeous, but just as gorgeous? That's impossible.

Well she can't be exactly as gorgeous as you. Maybe almost as gorgeous, but just as gorgeous? That's impossible.
Shes my identical twin, so she looks exactly as gorgeous as me.

PS your really sutle when you suck up.
I hope this is the last time i have to say this.

I hope this is the last time i have to say this.

Bah. Just because you say your sister's as beautiful as you are doesn't mean I have to believe it. I just think you're being modest and supportive of your sister. ;)

Bah. Just because you say your sister's as beautiful as you are doesn't mean I have to believe it. I just think you're being modest and supportive of your sister. ;)
She is my identical twin. She looks exaclty like me. Our mom can't tell us appart. If we both appear in a pic I have a hard time remembering which one was me.

He deserved an ass-kicking. What a prick.


That would be an understatement.

That would be an understatement.
So what? He diserves habitual ass-kickings?

So what? He diserves habitual ass-kickings?
Actually, regular ass kickings might explain why he is the way he is.

Oooh, what about the guy who answered the door drunk and stoned, but then found out that his friends had hidden the money?

(that would be me :p)

I hate it when you guys do that.
Funniest thing that happened to me was either the drunk guy dressed as a ninja turtle, or house of gay guys I delivered to. Fucking both were funny as hell

I hate it when you guys do that.
Funniest thing that happened to me was either the drunk guy dressed as a ninja turtle, or house of gay guys I delivered to. Fucking both were funny as hell



You fucked them both?

I guess the funniest story/stupidest thing - job related, that is - that ever happened to me was when I was about 17. I had a job cleaning trucks in a moving company, and I did it together with a couple of other guys. Now we weren't allowed to move the trucks ourselves, there were drivers running around on the perimeter for doing that. But we had just finished with a truck, and this guy who had worked there for far longer than me comes up to me and says to just go ahead, do it, it's only 10 meters straight ahead (actually that was all there was to it)... So I get in. Now you have to keep in mind that I had never even sat behind the steering wheel of a car, even to move it a meter or two, and this was a truck from about 50 tonnes or something (no joke, they used used these for international moving, two-week journeys and all that). I ended up driving straight ahead, not even knowing how to brake, and being stopped only by crashing into an iron fence... less than two meters next to a gas pump used for re-fuelling the trucks. My dad -who worked there- saved my @ss by making a statement that he moved the truck, and that his foot slipped on some soap that had not been thoroughly washed off. This really was one of the scariest things that ever happened to me.