Lunatic Goofballs
26-08-2005, 14:21
I just got a groovy E-mail a few days ago:
Good day ,
I am Walter Smith, staff of International Private Banking at our Bank.
I am
contacting you concerning a deceased customer and an investment he
placed
under our banks management three years ago. I would respectfully
request
that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the
integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail.
I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is
informed of
this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts
that I
believe would be of interest to you. In 2000, the subject matter; came
to
our bank to engage in business discussions with our private banking
division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of Thirty
two
million seven hundred thousand united state dollars(32,700,000.00),
which he
wished to have us turn over (invest) on his behalf. I was the officer
assigned to his case; I made numerous suggestions in line with my
duties as
the de-facto chief operations officer of the private banking sector,
especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We
met
on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I
encouraged
him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored
route
in my advice to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000
traditional
stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments.
Based
on my advice, we spun the money around various opportunities and made
attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued
profit and
interest stood at this point at over ten million United States Dollars,
this
margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired low risk
guaranteed returns on investments. In mid 2001, he asked that the
money be
liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring
cash
payments in here in the United Kingdom. He directed that I liquidate
the
funds and deposit it with a security firm here in London.
I informed him that the bank would have to make special arrangements to
have
this done and in order not to circumvent due process, the bank would
have to
make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to cater for banking and
statutory
charges. He complained about the charges but later came around when I
explained to him the complexities of the task he was asking of us. Cash
movement across boarders has become especially strict since the
incidents of
9/11. I contacted my affiliate here in London and made the funds
available
to the security firm. I undertook all the processes and made sure I
followed
his precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited at
the
London based security consultancy firm, Corporate Securities Co.
Corporate Securities Co is a specialist private firm that accepts
deposits
from high net worth individuals and blue chip corporations that handle
valuable products or undertake transactions that need immediate access
to
cash. This small and highly private organization is familiar especially
to
the highly placed and well-connected organizations. In line with
instructions, the money was deposited with Corporate Securities Co. The
deceased told me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his
arrival
from Norway later that week. This was the last communication we had,
this
transpired around 25th February 2003.
In June last year, we got a call from Corporate Securities Co informing
us
that the activity of that particular portfolio. This was an astounding
position as far as I was concerned, given the fact that I managed the
private banking sector I was the only one who knew about the deposit at
Corporate Securities Co, and I could not understand why the deceased
had not
come forward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate the
deceased in his country, he was a Russian business man, A former deputy
chief executive if I recall correctly and part of the so-called
oligarchy.
I immediately passed the task of locating him to the internal
investigations
department of the bank. Four days later, information started to trickle
in,
apparently our client was dead. A person who suited his description was
declared dead of a heart attack in Cannes, South of France.
We were soon able to identify the body and cause of death was
confirmed. The
bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next
of
kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his
estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who
patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels
of
detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form, he listed
no
next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening an account with
us
means no one will know of its existence, accounts are rarely held under
a
name; depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous.
This
bank also gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to
them
or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the
account
and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private banking
clients
apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most cases leave
wills
in our care, in this case; the deceased died without a testate.
In line with our internal processes for account holders who have passed
away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to determine
who
should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for the
past
months been unfruitful. We have scanned every continent and used our
private
investigation affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. It
is
this investigation that resulted in my being furnished with your
details as
a possible relative of the deceased. My official capacity dictates that
I am
the only party to supervise the investigation and the only party to
receive
the results of the investigation. What this means, you being the last
batch
of names we have considered, is that our dear late fellow died with no
known
or identifiable family member. This leaves me as the only person with
the
full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the
deposit
and the late beneficiary of the deposit.
According to practice, Corporate Securities Co will by the end of the
first
quater of this financial year/ and last quater of the year which is
2005
broadcast a request for statements of claim to our bank, failing to
receive
viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back to the
bank.
This will result in the money entering the bank accounting system and
the
portfolio will be out of my hands and out of the private banking
division.
This will not happen if I have my way. What I wish to relate to you
will
smack of unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It
is
only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics
of the
banking world aberrational. The world of private banking especially is
fraught with huge rewards for those who occupy certain offices and
oversee
certain portfolios. You should have begun by now to put together the
general
direction of what I propose. I alone have the deposit details and they
will
release the deposit to no one unless I instruct them to do so.
I alone know of the existence of this deposit for as far as the bank is
concerned, the transaction with our late customer concluded when I sent
the
funds to corporate securities, all outstanding interactions in relation
to
the file are just customer services and due process. Corporate
Securities
Co, has no single idea of what the history or nature of the deposit.
They
are simply awaiting instructions to release the deposit to any party
that
comes forward. This is the situation. This bank has spent great amounts
of
money trying to track this mans family; they have investigated for
months
and have found no family. The investigation has come to an end. My
proposal;
you share similar details to the late fellow; I am prepared to place
you in
a position to instruct Corporate Securities Co to release the deposit
to you
as the closest surviving relation.
Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you
in
half. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have
them
release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50. I would have
gone
ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a
straight line to me and my involvement in claiming the deposit. I
assure you
that I could have the deposit released to you within a few days. I will
simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to the
deceased I will then officially communicate with Corporate Securities
Co and
instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these two things: all
is
done. The alternative would be for us to have Corporate Securities Co
direct
the funds to another bank with you as account holder. This way there
will be
no need for you to think of receiving the money from Corporate
Securities
Co. We can fine-tune this based on our interactions. I am aware of the
consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in
this
project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be
vindictive and destructive.
If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I
ever
contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of
my
proposal.
I await your response.
Walter Smith
The fragmented nature of it is exactly as it appeared in my E-mail.
I never had anybody offer to team up with me to defraud an estate out of $32 million before. Maybe I'm being a little too cynical. Maybe it's a genuine offer. :p
$16 million would buy a lot of Florida swampland. :)
Good day ,
I am Walter Smith, staff of International Private Banking at our Bank.
I am
contacting you concerning a deceased customer and an investment he
placed
under our banks management three years ago. I would respectfully
request
that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the
integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail.
I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is
informed of
this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts
that I
believe would be of interest to you. In 2000, the subject matter; came
to
our bank to engage in business discussions with our private banking
division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of Thirty
two
million seven hundred thousand united state dollars(32,700,000.00),
which he
wished to have us turn over (invest) on his behalf. I was the officer
assigned to his case; I made numerous suggestions in line with my
duties as
the de-facto chief operations officer of the private banking sector,
especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We
met
on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I
encouraged
him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored
route
in my advice to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000
traditional
stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments.
Based
on my advice, we spun the money around various opportunities and made
attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued
profit and
interest stood at this point at over ten million United States Dollars,
this
margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired low risk
guaranteed returns on investments. In mid 2001, he asked that the
money be
liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring
cash
payments in here in the United Kingdom. He directed that I liquidate
the
funds and deposit it with a security firm here in London.
I informed him that the bank would have to make special arrangements to
have
this done and in order not to circumvent due process, the bank would
have to
make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to cater for banking and
statutory
charges. He complained about the charges but later came around when I
explained to him the complexities of the task he was asking of us. Cash
movement across boarders has become especially strict since the
incidents of
9/11. I contacted my affiliate here in London and made the funds
available
to the security firm. I undertook all the processes and made sure I
followed
his precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited at
the
London based security consultancy firm, Corporate Securities Co.
Corporate Securities Co is a specialist private firm that accepts
deposits
from high net worth individuals and blue chip corporations that handle
valuable products or undertake transactions that need immediate access
to
cash. This small and highly private organization is familiar especially
to
the highly placed and well-connected organizations. In line with
instructions, the money was deposited with Corporate Securities Co. The
deceased told me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his
arrival
from Norway later that week. This was the last communication we had,
this
transpired around 25th February 2003.
In June last year, we got a call from Corporate Securities Co informing
us
that the activity of that particular portfolio. This was an astounding
position as far as I was concerned, given the fact that I managed the
private banking sector I was the only one who knew about the deposit at
Corporate Securities Co, and I could not understand why the deceased
had not
come forward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate the
deceased in his country, he was a Russian business man, A former deputy
chief executive if I recall correctly and part of the so-called
oligarchy.
I immediately passed the task of locating him to the internal
investigations
department of the bank. Four days later, information started to trickle
in,
apparently our client was dead. A person who suited his description was
declared dead of a heart attack in Cannes, South of France.
We were soon able to identify the body and cause of death was
confirmed. The
bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next
of
kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his
estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who
patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels
of
detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form, he listed
no
next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening an account with
us
means no one will know of its existence, accounts are rarely held under
a
name; depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous.
This
bank also gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to
them
or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the
account
and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private banking
clients
apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most cases leave
wills
in our care, in this case; the deceased died without a testate.
In line with our internal processes for account holders who have passed
away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to determine
who
should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for the
past
months been unfruitful. We have scanned every continent and used our
private
investigation affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. It
is
this investigation that resulted in my being furnished with your
details as
a possible relative of the deceased. My official capacity dictates that
I am
the only party to supervise the investigation and the only party to
receive
the results of the investigation. What this means, you being the last
batch
of names we have considered, is that our dear late fellow died with no
known
or identifiable family member. This leaves me as the only person with
the
full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the
deposit
and the late beneficiary of the deposit.
According to practice, Corporate Securities Co will by the end of the
first
quater of this financial year/ and last quater of the year which is
2005
broadcast a request for statements of claim to our bank, failing to
receive
viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back to the
bank.
This will result in the money entering the bank accounting system and
the
portfolio will be out of my hands and out of the private banking
division.
This will not happen if I have my way. What I wish to relate to you
will
smack of unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It
is
only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics
of the
banking world aberrational. The world of private banking especially is
fraught with huge rewards for those who occupy certain offices and
oversee
certain portfolios. You should have begun by now to put together the
general
direction of what I propose. I alone have the deposit details and they
will
release the deposit to no one unless I instruct them to do so.
I alone know of the existence of this deposit for as far as the bank is
concerned, the transaction with our late customer concluded when I sent
the
funds to corporate securities, all outstanding interactions in relation
to
the file are just customer services and due process. Corporate
Securities
Co, has no single idea of what the history or nature of the deposit.
They
are simply awaiting instructions to release the deposit to any party
that
comes forward. This is the situation. This bank has spent great amounts
of
money trying to track this mans family; they have investigated for
months
and have found no family. The investigation has come to an end. My
proposal;
you share similar details to the late fellow; I am prepared to place
you in
a position to instruct Corporate Securities Co to release the deposit
to you
as the closest surviving relation.
Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you
in
half. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have
them
release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50. I would have
gone
ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a
straight line to me and my involvement in claiming the deposit. I
assure you
that I could have the deposit released to you within a few days. I will
simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to the
deceased I will then officially communicate with Corporate Securities
Co and
instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these two things: all
is
done. The alternative would be for us to have Corporate Securities Co
direct
the funds to another bank with you as account holder. This way there
will be
no need for you to think of receiving the money from Corporate
Securities
Co. We can fine-tune this based on our interactions. I am aware of the
consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in
this
project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be
vindictive and destructive.
If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I
ever
contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of
my
proposal.
I await your response.
Walter Smith
The fragmented nature of it is exactly as it appeared in my E-mail.
I never had anybody offer to team up with me to defraud an estate out of $32 million before. Maybe I'm being a little too cynical. Maybe it's a genuine offer. :p
$16 million would buy a lot of Florida swampland. :)