NationStates Jolt Archive


The Bushevik Checklist

Gauthier
26-08-2005, 06:04
Ever wondered if someone you know might be a Bushevik? Here's a checklist of symptoms and traits:

1) Never questions G.W. Bush's policies despite their adverse effects on the nation's economy, society, or national security.

2) Almost always attempts questioning or outright attacking the personal character and motivation of anyone who questions Bush's policies. In cases where the questioning gathers popular support (ie Cindy Sheehan) extreme insults and sanctimonious posturing will also be used. Dissession is a capital offense that ought to be punished by death.

3) Comes up with excuses and justifications for one of Bush's political blunders nevermind that had a Democrat President done the exact same thing they would be breaking out the farming implements and torches.

4) Will use the "He's a Good Christian Man" justification when no other reply is available.

5) Believes Bush is a Conservative, never mind that his "conservatism" only applies to Social Issues like abortion, gay marriage and the separation of Chuch and State. and not fiscally where he spends the government's money on pet projects like a kid who doesn't grasp the concept behind a credit card.

6) Shows open contempt for and outright attacks anything or anyone termed "liberal." Frequent exaggerations and outright hyperbole lies on liberal political views will be thrown. Dissession is a capital offense that ought to be punished by death. Busheviks who are especially prolific in this display of contempt usually prefer to be known as "Centerists."

7) Shows open contempt for the United Nations and frequently call for its abolition. Never mind that Bush found the UN's Resolution a convenient rubber stamp for Operation Inigo Montoya (aka the Iraq invasion) and then after publically snubbing the UN came crawling back to them asking for troop support for the Occupation. Will frequently bring up the Oil for Food scandal, never mind that the documents that enabled the scam to operate had been reviewed by the UN Security Council- headed by the United States- and was approved anyways.

8) Shows open contempt for France and anything French, frequently referring to the myth of the French being spineless cowards who surrender at the first sound of gunshots. The fact that even the US Military report on post-WW2 France noted that the French were anything but cowards and made the Nazi War Machine stagger to a crawl is conveniently ignored. Any references to Napoleon Bonaparte will be countered by the common cop-out reply of "He wasn't French, he was Corsican." Right, and Napoleon conquered most of Europe with the Corsican Army.

9) Believes that Operation Inigo Montoya (aka the Iraq invasion) is actually making America safer from terrorism because the terrorists aren't fighting on American soil recently. This ignores the observation that Iraq has become the Penultimate Terrorist Training Ground and to coin a term from Dungeons and Dragons, the terrorists who are shooting up our troops in Iraq instead of America simply gain enough Experience Points to where when they do get sent to America, they'll be that much more effective and harder to catch or kill before it's too late.

More to come as I think them up.
Gymoor II The Return
26-08-2005, 06:11
--whole lotta snip--

Two things:

The word is "dissent" or "dissention."

Penultimate means "the next to last." It's often misused, and it pisses me off.

Carry on.