NationStates Jolt Archive

Now with my interveiw with Homeland Security comming up, Rotovia needs to be more Bush Friendly, so I have soem advice...
INVADE AUSTRALIA!!!! We're hording oil from the Temor Gap! That's right, you didn't misshear me... O...I...L! Now you're probally thinking "But Rotovia, I can't invade an ally!" Wrong! No one minded when you turned on Iraq, besides Australia bound to be hiding WMDs somewhere... and noone will blame if you can't find them. I mean, have you seen the size of our Outback?! Fuckin' huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge! Six times bigger then Texas... nah, I'm shittin' with ya. But think about it.

Sincerely,
Dr Rotty Rotovia

Ps. :fluffle:

Oh...my...god.

If it's gonna be done, it's gotta be in the traditional way.. Rape, pillage, and plunder.

Why?

Lots of beer and many, many hot Aussie girls.

If it's not done that way, it would grind down as the troops are distracted by Lots of beer and many, many hot Aussie girls but not being allowed to play.

They could classify Ray Martin's 'hair' as a biological WMD...

They could classify Ray Martin's 'hair' as a biological WMD...
Good call! That mess never....ever! Moves!

Oh...my...god.
I wouldn't be here when the conservatives arrive, if I were you. One of two things will happen:

1) They will realises it's a joke and be angry.

2) They will not realise it's a joke and aggree.

They could classify Ray Martin's 'hair' as a biological WMD...
Seruously though, he's putting more than one hair wax producers entire family through college!

If it's gonna be done, it's gotta be in the traditional way.. Rape, pillage, and plunder.

Why?

Lots of beer and many, many hot Aussie girls.

If it's not done that way, it would grind down as the troops are distracted by Lots of beer and many, many hot Aussie girls but not being allowed to play.
Plus, let's face it. None of us could be arsed defending our homeland...

I wouldn't be here when the conservatives arrive, if I were you. One of two things will happen:

1) They will realises it's a joke and be angry.

2) They will not realise it's a joke and aggree.
Makes some strange sense. Sick, strange sense.

I therefore hope to be here every step of the way.....

By the way, Rotovia, if you guys do get your arses invaded, you could hang out in my liberal bomb shelter....if ya wanted to.....*blush* ;)

[/faux-flirting with fellow NSers]

We have to invade and overthrow the insurgents who control the entire New England territory first, but right after that, sure, we'll send a few on down your way… feel free to char a side of beef on the barbie for us now though, the Englanders are likely to put up much of a barney. :p

If it's gonna be done, it's gotta be in the traditional way.. Rape, pillage, and plunder.

Why?

Lots of beer and many, many hot Aussie girls.

If it's not done that way, it would grind down as the troops are distracted by Lots of beer and many, many hot Aussie girls but not being allowed to play.
http://www.xboxworld.com.au/forum/images/smilies/beer.gif

Well, we could use a new naval firing range and someplace to test the new nukes.

:D

Simonist']Makes some strange sense. Sick, strange sense.

I therefore hope to be here every step of the way.....

By the way, Rotovia, if you guys do get your arses invaded, you could hang out in my liberal bomb shelter....if ya wanted to.....*blush* ;)

[/faux-flirting with fellow NSers]
lol

Actually I think in all fairness, that the military should give me a B-2, fill it full of nukes and let me go on low level bombing missions across the middle east, then terrorist problem mostly solved. :sniper:

Good source of uranium mines, australia.



*checks* Does New Zealand have the bledisloe cup? Yep.
We have no more need for them then.



Go ahead.

Actually I think in all fairness, that the military should give me a B-2, fill it full of nukes and let me go on low level bombing missions across the middle east, then terrorist problem mostly solved. :sniper:
yeah because killing up to a billion people with nuclear bombs isn't terroism if it's an American doing it! :rolleyes:

Actually I think in all fairness, that the military should give me a B-2, fill it full of nukes and let me go on low level bombing missions across the middle east, then terrorist problem mostly solved. :sniper:
uh....hmmmm...

Now with my interveiw with Homeland Security comming up, Rotovia needs to be more Bush Friendly, so I have soem advice...
INVADE AUSTRALIA!!!! We're hording oil from the Temor Gap! That's right, you didn't misshear me... O...I...L! Now you're probally thinking "But Rotovia, I can't invade an ally!" Wrong! No one minded when you turned on Iraq, besides Australia bound to be hiding WMDs somewhere... and noone will blame if you can't find them. I mean, have you seen the size of our Outback?! Fuckin' huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge! Six times bigger then Texas... nah, I'm shittin' with ya. But think about it.

Sincerely,
Dr Rotty Rotovia

Ps. :fluffle:

How can you be a Dr. a misspell that much shit?

How can you be a Dr. a misspell that much shit?

Dyslexia?

Anyway, you guys play a fine game of cricket, I don't want the US getting your team. Either they'll use them or just stop cricket and I'm not sure which is worse.

How can you be a Dr. a misspell that much shit?
How can you be a spelling Nazi and misspell 'and'?

Australia has never made amends for Rolf Harris. They deserve to be punished.

Australia has never made amends for Rolf Harris. They deserve to be punished.

Tie me kangaroo down sport
Tie me kangaroo down

Just invade Alberta Canada. We have oil there, too, and its a shorter hike. What do you think we're doing with all that open space in the Arctic? We must be hiding WMD. Also, make sure you call up Denmark first. They would want some of the islands again.

Tie me kangaroo down sport
Tie me kangaroo down

You see!

He damaged a whole generation.

You see!

He damaged a whole generation.

Actually I only saw the Mr Blobby version :p

Australia has never made amends for Rolf Harris. They deserve to be punished.
You're right there. I'm all for a Geneva Convention on Australian Culture, or lack-there-of...

Y'know, we're talking about Australia here.
Australia.
The country with Australian Rules Football, which, from what I've heard, consist of "Killing other players intentionally is illegal." Us poor bloody Yanks wouldn't stand a chance!

*Disclaimer* Yes, of course I'm being silly. But the original post was too, so I figured no worries, eh?

How can you be a spelling Nazi and misspell 'and'?
Burn. Total burn.

Y'know, we're talking about Australia here.
Australia.
The country with Australian Rules Football, which, from what I've heard, consist of "Killing other players intentionally is illegal." Us poor bloody Yanks wouldn't stand a chance!

*Disclaimer* Yes, of course I'm being silly. But the original post was too, so I figured no worries, eh?
Oh you're just upset your footballers needs to be wrapped in bubblewrap and hugged by their mommies before they go on the feild...

well, if you folks insist.....

How can you be a Dr. a misspell that much shit?

Haven't you seen doctor's handwritings? They're messy for a reason.

well for the right money I will cause total anarchy in Aust then you can just walk in a take it.

Haven't you seen doctor's handwritings? They're messy for a reason.
Vigorous masterbation in between seeing patients?

i think your first name should be Potty not Rotty

i think your first name should be Potty not Rotty
Dr Potty Rotovia....? I dunno...

Oh you're just upset your footballers needs to be wrapped in bubblewrap and hugged by their mommies before they go on the feild...
ROFL. They do look funny in all that gear...

Dr Potty Rotovia....? I dunno...

I think your the first person to reply to something I've said first go. I swear everyone ignores what I post.

actually potty was an insult. I think Alberta Canada would be better. (yes why don't you go and invade THEM?)

Heh, you guys can have it. :D

Ok, first off, I know this isn't meant to be serious.

However, there are a number of reasons why it'd be damn hard to invade:

- Sheer size of the place. Got riots in Sydney? Ok. Got them in Perth? Oh ****. Good luck quelling resistance.
- 80% of the place is DESERT, and virtually useless.
- You have every conceivable barrier to get through; The longest reef system in the world, Quite a long mountain range (The Great Divide). Oh, and the point above.
- Many resources are spread across the continent. Meaning you NEED to control the whole thing to justify it. NOT going to happen.
- Finally, we're on friendly terms. Why BOTHER? You get most of the benefits of an invasion now without the expense.

We are very laid back, but I think we would defend our country. We've only ever had one city bombed (Darwin, which is on the northern coast and very isolated), and only Sydney was ever approached by sea (Japanese Midgets in WWII. They weren't very successful, I might add.)

Also, most of our cities are on the coast. So you're going to face steep opposition STRAIGHT AWAY.

The Australians are so laid back, in the event of a hostile alien invasion, the last continent to be conquered, will be Austrailia.

Alien Commander: "Emporer Zerg, all of Earth has fallen to our might, all except the large island continent of Austrailia. Should we invade and crush them?"

Emporer Zerg: "The Aussies? Naww, what the hell did they ever do to anyone?"

Ok, first off, I know this isn't meant to be serious.

However, there are a number of reasons why it'd be damn hard to invade:

- Sheer size of the place. Got riots in Sydney? Ok. Got them in Perth? Oh ****. Good luck quelling resistance.
- 80% of the place is DESERT, and virtually useless.
- You have every conceivable barrier to get through; The longest reef system in the world, Quite a long mountain range (The Great Divide). Oh, and the point above.
- Many resources are spread across the continent. Meaning you NEED to control the whole thing to justify it. NOT going to happen.
- Finally, we're on friendly terms. Why BOTHER? You get most of the benefits of an invasion now without the expense.

We are very laid back, but I think we would defend our country. We've only ever had one city bombed (Darwin, which is on the northern coast and very isolated), and only Sydney was ever approached by sea (Japanese Midgets in WWII. They weren't very successful, I might add.)

Also, most of our cities are on the coast. So you're going to face steep opposition STRAIGHT AWAY.

But there's one big advantage to invading Australia. John Howard would probably side with Bush :p

... only Sydney was ever approached by sea (Japanese Midgets in WWII...)

Bloody typical. You Sydneysiders never know what's going on in the rest of the continent. THEY APPROACHED US, MATE! Newcastle! Little town about one-and-a-bit hours North of you lot? Strategically significant port, major energy producer? The night after, the mother ship had a go at us, and the guns at Stockton and Fort Scratchley boomed, and they took a chip off the Coal Memorial (or it might have been one of ours that did it), and my father-in-law, one of the weekend soldiers, had to get out of bed and go see what was up even though he had to be up early the next day!

Humph!

Rewrite on Emperor Zerg: "Nah, whatthehell, leave 'em alone and they'll do it themselves."

and my father-in-law, one of the weekend soldiers, had to get out of bed and go see what was up even though he had to be up early the next day!

Humph!


Truly, war is hell.

INvade mexico!
Oh you already did that.

Y'know, we're talking about Australia here.
Australia.
The country with Australian Rules Football, which, from what I've heard, consist of "Killing other players intentionally is illegal." Us poor bloody Yanks wouldn't stand a chance!

Australian Rules Football?? AFL?? You've got to be kidding me. AFL is for the pansies! Where I come from (Newcastle), they play a real man's sport- Rugby league. In Rugby, the guys who break their wrists just get strapped and go back on the field! guys that play AFL cry when they break a nail.

And from my experience, Most people in Australia would welcome an invasion by the US, so they can become part of it!

The Australians are so laid back, in the event of a hostile alien invasion, the last continent to be conquered, will be Austrailia.

Alien Commander: "Emporer Zerg, all of Earth has fallen to our might, all except the large island continent of Austrailia. Should we invade and crush them?"

Emporer Zerg: "The Aussies? Naww, what the hell did they ever do to anyone?"
So true...

But if the Yanks invaded us, the Canadians would feel left out.

Seriously, they'd be like, 'What aboot us, eh? We gave the world Celine Dion! A fraction of us are french! Invade us, eh!'

Of course the conversation would trail off from there.

And Americans can't say Aussies or Melbourne, right.

How can you be a spelling Nazi and misspell 'and'?


UHH Typo... It happens to everyone. When you see common, easy words spelt wrong, chances are, it is a typo

However...

If I DID want to invade Australia, I would walk into each neighborhood bar, and yell "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!"


and shoot anyone who yelled :

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

How can you be a spelling Nazi and misspell 'and'?

lmao, I'm sorry. It's a pointless post but it must be said.

Ah, the age old question of what happens if someone tries to invade Australia.

Um. Sucks to be the logistics officer of the invasion force.

Invading from the north; Invaders capture Darwin - no-one cares. Forces get eaten by crocodiles upon landing or die of thirst when they try to come further south. Invaders capture Cairns and Port Douglas, mildly annoying Victorian holidaymakers who now have to go somewhere else for their trips. When trying to come south, they learn the real meaning of a war of attrition.

Invading from the west; Invaders capture Perth. Whee, you got Perth. Some bastards sabotage the (already tenuous) water supply, and the invasion force is toast, plus 3000-odd kilometres from anywhere else. Attrition not required, things will simply break trying to cross that amount of land, even without bombs, mines, pissed-off farmers etc.

Invading from the east, then? pfft. reefs, mountain ranges, and more distance than it looks on the map. Wouldn't try it if I were you. Plus, this being Australia, chances are the locals would fight back rather nastily. And there's always the problem of what the hell you're going to do with Perth, Darwin, Adelaide and Hobart after you've captured the "major" centres.

Ah, the age old question of what happens if someone tries to invade Australia.

Um. Sucks to be the logistics officer of the invasion force.

Invading from the north; Invaders capture Darwin - no-one cares. Forces get eaten by crocodiles upon landing or die of thirst when they try to come further south. Invaders capture Cairns and Port Douglas, mildly annoying Victorian holidaymakers who now have to go somewhere else for their trips. When trying to come south, they learn the real meaning of a war of attrition.

Invading from the west; Invaders capture Perth. Whee, you got Perth. Some bastards sabotage the (already tenuous) water supply, and the invasion force is toast, plus 3000-odd kilometres from anywhere else. Attrition not required, things will simply break trying to cross that amount of land, even without bombs, mines, pissed-off farmers etc.

Invading from the east, then? pfft. reefs, mountain ranges, and more distance than it looks on the map. Wouldn't try it if I were you. Plus, this being Australia, chances are the locals would fight back rather nastily. And there's always the problem of what the hell you're going to do with Perth, Darwin, Adelaide and Hobart after you've captured the "major" centres.

Bomb them back into the Stone Age?

Bomb them back into the Stone Age?

Gotta have enough bombs first. Just too much to cover without the use of nukes.

Ah, the age old question of what happens if someone tries to invade Australia.

Um. Sucks to be the logistics officer of the invasion force.

Invading from the north; Invaders capture Darwin - no-one cares. Forces get eaten by crocodiles upon landing or die of thirst when they try to come further south. Invaders capture Cairns and Port Douglas, mildly annoying Victorian holidaymakers who now have to go somewhere else for their trips. When trying to come south, they learn the real meaning of a war of attrition.

Invading from the west; Invaders capture Perth. Whee, you got Perth. Some bastards sabotage the (already tenuous) water supply, and the invasion force is toast, plus 3000-odd kilometres from anywhere else. Attrition not required, things will simply break trying to cross that amount of land, even without bombs, mines, pissed-off farmers etc.

Invading from the east, then? pfft. reefs, mountain ranges, and more distance than it looks on the map. Wouldn't try it if I were you. Plus, this being Australia, chances are the locals would fight back rather nastily. And there's always the problem of what the hell you're going to do with Perth, Darwin, Adelaide and Hobart after you've captured the "major" centres.

Everyone knows that people the world over would line the streets and welcome an American invasion with flowers and ticker-tape parades. You're just wrong!

Gotta have enough bombs first. Just too much to cover without the use of nukes.


Nonsense.

The US, in particular has been annihliating much larger cities since before WW2.

See: Dresden, Germany.

Wouldnt need nukes....just a good ol firestorm.

You wouldnt even need to do that much really, Australia's pretty sparsely populated.
Im thinking if you knocked out one major city, you would have a base of operations, and could launch attacks from there.

I will invade Australia someday. First off I shall destroy all the eucaliptis (or however it's spelt) and unleash the koala upon you! Next I shall convert the kangaroos to my cause, and use their super kickboxing skills to mow down any resistance, including your overlord Crocodille Dundee. Next we shall move North into Asia on the backs of the giant turtles. Once there I shall gain the Pandas, with them, I shall be invincible! And then conquer the rest of the world save the U.S and Europe. I'll take over Europe covertly, then we'll all get the big bully with all the nukes :p

Us New Zealanders invade Australia all the time, it's no big deal. We already hold Bondi Beach.

Us New Zealanders invade Australia all the time, it's no big deal. We already hold Bondi Beach.

You Wish

You just want to get out of your little islands

I wouldn't be here when the conservatives arrive, if I were you. One of two things will happen:

1) They will realises it's a joke and be angry.

2) They will not realise it's a joke and aggree.
OR ...

3) They will decide it's more fun to party and join the Aussies on the beach! :D

Ah, the age old question of what happens if someone tries to invade Australia.

Um. Sucks to be the logistics officer of the invasion force.

Invading from the north; Invaders capture Darwin - no-one cares. Forces get eaten by crocodiles upon landing or die of thirst when they try to come further south. Invaders capture Cairns and Port Douglas, mildly annoying Victorian holidaymakers who now have to go somewhere else for their trips. When trying to come south, they learn the real meaning of a war of attrition.

Invading from the west; Invaders capture Perth. Whee, you got Perth. Some bastards sabotage the (already tenuous) water supply, and the invasion force is toast, plus 3000-odd kilometres from anywhere else. Attrition not required, things will simply break trying to cross that amount of land, even without bombs, mines, pissed-off farmers etc.

Invading from the east, then? pfft. reefs, mountain ranges, and more distance than it looks on the map. Wouldn't try it if I were you. Plus, this being Australia, chances are the locals would fight back rather nastily. And there's always the problem of what the hell you're going to do with Perth, Darwin, Adelaide and Hobart after you've captured the "major" centres.
One of the best posts I've read here. And that's saying a fair bit.

Plus there's the fact that Australia has the world's largest supply of uranium, and a working nuclear reactor at Lucas Heights. Worst comes to worst, we Aussies could become a nuclear power in our own right, well before most other 'possibles'. And we could take out Pine Gap, one of America's most important military bases in the world. It's pretty much just outside Alice Springs.

.
And Americans can't say Aussies or Melbourne, right.
Or Brisbane.

Oh, and one of my sister's yanky friends thought Canberra was a juice.

I'm kosher with it, because it would further secure the Democratic seat in the presidential office in 08