NationStates Jolt Archive

A friend of Zep and mine posted this in his journal yesterday.. It's a little long, but it's sooo funny. At first we thought maybe he was making it up, but he actually has the recording of the call. I laughed my ass off. If you want a good laugh and have time to read it.. it's funny.


Dialogues From The Grand Salon:

ring.


ring.


ring.

(frustrated groan)

ri—

"Hello?"

silence…click…

"Hello?"

(interrupted sigh of relief)

falsely friendly bill collecting corporate whore: "Hello, can I speak to Joseph Wall?"

me: "Speaking."

(pathetic sigh)

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Hello, sir, this is Beneficial/Household Finance calling in—"

me: "The whole corporation is calling?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon me, sir?"

me: "The entire Beneficial/Household Finance Corporation is calling?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand what you're saying."

me: "You said 'this is Beneficial/Household Finance calling.' I wasn't aware that entire corporations were able to make phone calls. Are you a gestalt being?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I'm sorry, sir, I'm a little confused."

me: "Apparently. Are you, in fact, an account representative for the Beneficial/Household Finance Corporation?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Ah, okay. Yes, sir, I am."

me: "Do you have a name?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm calling in reference to your account, which is currently showing a late balance of…"

me: "I'm sorry, do you have a name?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm calling in reference to your account."

me: "So you don't have a name?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "That's not important, sir."

me: "Someone thought so."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon me, sir?"

me: "That you were worth having a name."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm calling in reference to your account with Beneficial/Household Finance, which is currently showing a late balance, and I'd like to schedule a payment this morning."

(mental cogs turning)

* reaches over to answering machine *

beep.

me: "This call may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Umm…pardon, sir?"

me: "This call may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm calling in regards to your account with Beneficial/Household Finance, which is currently showing a balance of—"

me: "Okay, as long as you understand that this call may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I'm not sure I understand you, sir."

me: "This call may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Okay, sir, but that is not important at this time."

me: "So you consent to said monitoring or recording?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, may I schedule a payment to your account at this time?"

me: "You may, I guess."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "When would you like to schedule a payment, Mr. Wall?"

me: "I wouldn't."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "I wouldn't like to schedule a payment. You asked if you could, and I said 'you may,' which is true. You may schedule a payment."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Okay, sir, when would you like to schedule a payment?"

me: "I wouldn't."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm asking you when I can schedule a payment."

me: "I haven't the slightest clue as to when."

(long pause)

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, your account with Beneficial/Household Finance is currently showing a late payment amount."

me: "I would imagine so, yes."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Well, sir, I need to get a date from you on which I can schedule a payment."

me: "You need to get a date from me?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Yes, sir."

me: "But you're a woman. It wouldn't work out."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "I don't date women just yet."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, what I am asking is for a date when you would like me to schedule a payment."

me: "Ah, clarity at last."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "Just sayin'. Sorry, but I can't schedule a payment."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Umm, why not, sir?"

me: "I have no money."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Well, sir, I can schedule a payment for a future date."

me: "Can you see into the future?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon me, sir, I did not understand your statement."

me: "That was a question, actually."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm having a hard time following you."

me: "You're following me?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I need to schedule a payment. Your account with Beneficial/Household Finance is showing an overdue amount."

me: "That's all well and good, ma'am, but you will be unable to schedule a payment until I have money to pay said payment."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "And when will that be, sir?"

me: "I have no idea."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I'm confused, sir. Why are you unable to make a payment at this time?"

me: "I have no money."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Then can I schedule a time when you will know when you will have funds available?"

me: "That depends."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "It depends on what, sir?"

me: "On whether you can see into the future."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I don't understand what you're saying, sir."

me: "What I'm saying is that I have no money, or to put it another way, no money is what I have."

(long pause)

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, would you like me to schedule a time when Beneficial/Household Finance can call to schedule a payment?"

me: "The whole corporation will call?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "Only if you know when I'll know when I have money so I can schedule a payment."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, is there a reason why you cannot schedule a payment at this time?"

me: "Yes."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "What is the reason, sir?"

me: "I have no money."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Can we schedule a payment on a future date?"

me: "Only if you can see into the future."

(sound of sighing in the phone receiver)

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, is there a reason why you have no funds at this time?"

me: "Yes."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "What is the reason?"

me: "I'm unemployed."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Can we schedule a payment for a time when you will be employed?"

me: "That depends."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "It depends on what, sir?"

me: "On if you know when I'll be employed again."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Is there a reason why you are not currently employed?"

me: "Karma, I guess."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "Can't find work, and I've been writing a book."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Well, sir, that's nice that you've been keeping busy, but you're currently overdue on your account with Beneficial/Household Finance and I need to schedule a payment."

me: "But I have no money, ma'am. What part of that is not working for you?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, are you currently disabled or otherwise unable to work?"

me: "No, ma'am, but no one in my field wants to hire me. Well, the fact is that my field doesn't really exist anymore. I learned my family business and am one of the best in my field, but the field itself has disappeared."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Why's that, sir?"

me: "Damn computers."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Is there no work outside your field?"

me: "I'm writing a book."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "It's called Scaggsville. It's about my life, you know—essays about my childhood and a friend whose life went sorta wrong."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Umm, sir, what I mean is 'why can't you work outside your field?'"

me: "For what?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "For income, sir, so you can pay your debts."

me: "But then I couldn't work on my book."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "You could, in your spare time."

me: "But I never had any spare time when I had a full-time job."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Well, get a part-time job, then."

me: "But I can't pay my bills on a part-time job."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, you can't pay them when you're not working, either."

me: "Well, then it really doesn't matter, does it?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, your account with Beneficial/Household Finance is currently showing an overdue amount and I need to schedule a payment."

me: "Well, have you, meaning the Beneficial/Household Finance Corporation, charged me a late fee for my overdue balance?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I'm afraid so, sir."

me: "And you can't waive that fee?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I'm afraid not, sir."

me: "Well, I guess I'm not going to worry about my overdue balance until the next due date, then."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Why is that, sir?"

me: "Because you've already charged me for being late. I've paid a price for being late and until I'm late again, I have the moral high ground to hold out on you."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm confused."

me: "Why should I rush to get up to date when I've already, in effect, paid a penalty for being late?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "What are you saying, sir?"

me: "I've already been penalized for being late. Are you going to raise my interest rate AGAIN or charge me another late fee or report me as late AGAIN?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Umm, sir, you've already been charged and—"

me: "—so I have no incentive to find money I don't have to rush to make a payment that won't make any substantial difference at this point."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I'm trying to collect an overdue balance on your account at Beneficial/Household Finance."

me: "I understand that, but I have no money."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "And you have no money because…"

me: "Because I'm unemployed."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "And you refuse to find employment to pay a debt that you incurred voluntarily?"

me: "We've already explored that subject."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "And you cannot get a job in a grocery store or retail outlet to keep you going until you find work in your field?"

me: "My field doesn't exist anymore, alas."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Well, then, until you find work in a field of your choosing."

me: "Not really."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But-but-but you are currently in default on several loans."

(sound of keyboard on the other end of the line)

me: "Yep."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But, sir, you made a payment on your account with MBNA last month."

me: "I made some money doing handyman work."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Well, then, why did you pay your payment with MBNA and not Beneficial/Household Finance?"

me: "It's a smaller payment, and they're nicer to me."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "And besides, my mom cosigned that loan, so I don't want to screw up her credit."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "What about your credit, sir?"

me: "I'm sure you can see the status of my credit on your computer."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "You're going to damage your credit if you refuse to pay your obligations, Mr. Wall."

Ugh, "Mr. Wall." Elementary school all over again.

me: "As you can see, I have no credit."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But you may need credit in the future, sir."

me: "For what?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "To buy a house or a car."

me: "I have a car, and I'll never be able to afford a house."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But your car won't last forever, and you may eventually be able to afford a house."

me: "Not the way I'm going."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Eventually, though, sir."

me: "I tend to doubt that, but by the time I'm in that position, my credit rating will have recovered."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But you can't get credit right now, sir."

me: "Are you kidding me?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "You can't get credit with your current credit rating."

me: "You think I need more credit? Are you insane?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "A good credit rating is important, Mr. Wall."

me: "Why? So I can get more in debt with cards and accounts that jump to 31% the second I'm a minute late with a payment and have my phone ringing from exactly eight o'clock every damn morning to ten at night, with insane people telling me how important credit is to me?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "A good credit rating is important in society, sir, and it's the right thing to do."

me: "The right thing? What on earth do you mean?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "It's irresponsible to take on a debt that you are not prepared to pay, sir."

me: "I was prepared to pay the debt when I took it, ma'am. Then I lost my job. Are you saying I'm immoral?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "That's not my place to say, sir, but you are refusing to make good on the terms of your loan."

me: "Because I have no money."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But you could have money if you wanted to, sir."

me: "Umm, okay. Could you please tell me how, so I can make this amazing transition to a happy, credit-filled life of joy and fun?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, there's no cause for abusive language."

me: "'Joy' and 'fun' are abusive language?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "No, sir, but your tone is aggressive."

me: "My tone is aggressive? I have an aggressive tone? I'd say my tone was more incredulous than aggressive."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "At any rate, sir, your account with Beneficial/Household Finance is currently showing a late amount, and I need to schedule a payment."

me: "Fine, schedule one."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "When, sir?"

me: "Whenever."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I need a date, sir."

me: "Don't we all."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "No, sir, I need a date for your payment."

me: "That sounds complicated."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, can you please give me a date?"

me: "That's between you and fate, I think."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir."

me: "Tomorrow, then."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, will funds be available to make that payment?"

me: "Probably not."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Then why are you scheduling it for tomorrow?"

me: "To make you happy."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "My feelings on the matter are not important."

me: "Well, then it's to give you a date to stick in the little box on your computer that says you scheduled a date."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But a payment won't be made on that date."

me: "I don't think so."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Well, then, sir, when can I schedule a payment?"

me: "I have no idea."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "You have no idea when you can make a payment."

me: "Correct."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "When will you know when you can make a payment?"

me: "If I knew that, I could probably schedule a payment."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, your account is overdue, and you need to make a payment."

me: "Well, I think I've pretty clearly demonstrated that I don't need to make a payment, and am unable to make one whether I need to or want to, so why don't you just schedule a call to ask me the question again a little later?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I'm not prepared to do that, sir."

me: "So I'm the first person you've ever talked to who won't schedule a payment?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "That's neither here nor there, sir."

me: "But it makes me kinda special, doesn't it?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir?"

me: "We all need to feel special sometimes, ma'am."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I don't understand what you're saying."

me: "What I'm saying is this, ma'am: I'm thirty-seven, I have a college degree and twenty years experience in a business that no longer exists, I'm seventy pounds overweight, getting a hairy back and sore knees, and I've got a book I can't seem to finish, more unpaid work than I have time for, and I'm hopelessly in love with a man who is unavailable to me. I've been single for almost a decade, have been rejected by my own dog, for god's sake, and am such a pain-in-the-ass that my friends and family can hardly stand me most of the time, and the rest of the time, I'm like a hermit, hiding in my apartment. Some days, I just get up, shower, sit in front of the computer for a while, then just give up and sit on the couch, staring at the wall, waiting for the day to end. When things get really bad, sometimes, I end up in the kitchen in my underwear, which is full of holes because I can't afford new drawers that fit right, sitting on the floor compulsively eating half-frozen Food Lion store brand nondairy whipped topping right out of the container because it's about the only thing left in the fridge and I'm just so damn depressed that I can't be bothered to even get up and go outside to even buy some damn ramen for ten to a dollar, and all day long the phone's just ringing endlessly with people like you telling me what a big fat stupid loser I am, and that's all there is. Sometimes, you just need to feel like it's all adding up to something, you know, even when it's not. Sometimes you just need to feel like you're special. Is that wrong?"

(long, long pause)

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I just need to schedule a payment."

me: "Schedule it for Friday, then."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "And you'll be able to pay it by then?"

me: "Probably not."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Then can we schedule it for a time when you will?"

me: "Sure. Schedule it for May 16th, 2010."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I can't schedule that far, sir."

me: "Friday, then."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But you've already said you won't be making a payment then."

me: "I won't, but some other account representative will be on duty then, so it'll be their problem."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, you're being very difficult."

me: "Yeah, my mom says that's how I am."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "I've scheduled your payment for Friday, August 26th."

me: "Fine."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "If you don't make a payment then, you will be flagged as overdue."

me: "I'm already flagged."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, that is not the point."

me: "Sounds to me like it sorta is, really."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "No, sir, it is not."

me: "Ma'am, can I tell you something?"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "What's that, sir?"

me: "You're on my hidden camera show!"

(long pause)

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir?"

me: "You're on my hidden camera show! Look behind you!"

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Are you kidding me?"

(sound of nervous laughter on the other end)

me: "Yeah."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Pardon?"

me: "Yeah, I'm kidding. If I had a hidden camera show, I could probably pay my bill on time."

f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Sir, I've scheduled a date for you. Have a good morning."

me: "Wait, wait, how will I recognize him?"

click.

me: "Hello? Hello?"

clunk.

.

.

.

ring.


ring.


ri—

"Hello?"

"Good morning, sir. This is Beneficial/Household Finance and I need to speak with you about your account."

me: "Ummm, I just got off the phone with someone."

"Someone from Beneficial/Household Finance?"

me: "Yep, but she wouldn't give me her name."

"You've just spoken with a representative?"

me: "Yeah, like thirty seconds ago. She got me a date!"

"Umm…okay, yeah, I'm showing that a date was scheduled for Friday."

me: "Is he cute? Does he like husky guys?"

"Pardon, sir?"

me: "Look behind you! You're on my hidden camera show!"

(long pause)

"Thank you, sir. Thank you for doing business with Beneficial/Household Finance. Good day."

me: "You're always welcome, and—"

click.

.

.

.


Sigh.


Something's gotta give, and soon.

I'm so tired of this.

At least I've got a funny recording for a future podcast—aww, crap, the stupid digital answering machine only records for a minute or so. Goddammit. Damn computers.


If you see me shoplifting underwear at Target, say "hi," will you?


:D :D :D :D :D :D

hilarity


f.f.b.c.c.w.: "But your car won't last forever, and you may eventually be able to afford a house."

me: "Not the way I'm going."

LOL. Nice.

It's always fun to mess with corporate representatives who call you unsolicited.

It's not that funny. Most of it's just real pedantry, and ok, the ffbccw is stupid, but, there are better, and shorter, ways to piss off callers like that. Parts of it are good, but a lot of it's not that funny. In my opinion.

...I love your friend. He is a genius.

lmao brilliant :p :p

Could you please tell me how, so I can make this amazing transition to a happy, credit-filled life of joy and fun?"



f.f.b.c.c.w.: "Then why are you scheduling it for tomorrow?"

me: "To make you happy."

:p

That's sweet!

Roflmfao! :D

As someone who works in a related 'field'! :D there is no way the agent would have carried on a call of that nature. It would have been terminated or passed to a supervisor. While it is highly amusing I'm not sure of its truth!

I thought that it was funny and it kept my interest up enough to read the whole thing. Good stuff.

I love it! Can I use it as a transcript for the next time some idiot calls me at 8:00 in the morning!?

As someone who works in a related 'field'! :D there is no way the agent would have carried on a call of that nature. It would have been terminated or passed to a supervisor. While it is highly amusing I'm not sure of its truth!
I've kept telemarketers on the phone in excess of 15 minutes by arguing with them before. It's certainly possible that this collections agent is just as dumb as those telemarketers were.

It's like a Monty Python skit, that went on really, really long.

You said you had a recording of the call... any way somebody could host that? I'd love to be able to hear a call like that myself...

As someone who works in a related 'field'! :D there is no way the agent would have carried on a call of that nature. It would have been terminated or passed to a supervisor. While it is highly amusing I'm not sure of its truth!

He didn't get to record the whole call, his answering machine ran out, but it was real, we heard at least a minute of it. I thought the same thing, he's joking us, but nope, it was real.

Sweet! Thanks for giving me more ammo for my arsenal, should I ever need it. :D

Man, if you think that sorta thing isn't possible, just try cancelling an AOL account. You'da thought I was breaking up with the guy on the other end.

:headbang:

I'm glad I live in a world where someone can go absentee on their bills, then waffle when called upon it and be lauded as a comedy hero on the internet.

If I were the creditor, I would have found a way to reach through the receiver and strangle this pathetic son of a bitch. This isn't funny, it's fucking sad. Fuck this guy.

I still have trouble understanding how someone can believe this:
"A good credit rating is important in society, sir, and it's the right thing to do." :D

I still have trouble understanding how someone can believe this:
:D
Wait, what? You don't understand why it's not right to pay back a loan? Whooo-eee..

I'm glad I live in a world where someone can go absentee on their bills, then waffle when called upon it and be lauded as a comedy hero on the internet.

If I were the creditor, I would have found a way to reach through the receiver and strangle this pathetic son of a bitch. This isn't funny, it's fucking sad. Fuck this guy.

Well, Melkor, he had a job when he took out his loans/credit.. I mean you must admit, these people keep going after people like a dog with a bone, they tell them point blank they have no money, instead of lying.. and they still want to know when you can pay.. the guy has no money, when he does I have little doubt he'll pay his debts.

Wait, what? You don't understand why it's not right to pay back a loan? Whooo-eee..No, I don't understand how having a good credit rating is important in society.

Yeah I agree Laerod, what is this 1984? "You will need credit, it is good for you. All functioning members of society use credit." Wasn't there a Sliders episode on that?

Yeah I agree Laerod, what is this 1984? "You will need credit, it is good for you. All functioning members of society use credit." Wasn't there a Sliders episode on that?"Profitez de votre LIBERTÉ!" :D (Profit from/make us of your liberty)

Well, Melkor, he had a job when he took out his loans/credit.. I mean you must admit, these people keep going after people like a dog with a bone, they tell them point blank they have no money, instead of lying.. and they still want to know when you can pay.. the guy has no money, when he does I have little doubt he'll pay his debts.
Frankly, the fact that he doesn't have money at present is not of any concern to his creditor, and it shouldn't have to be. He borrowed money, he has to pay it back. That's how money works.

No, I don't understand how having a good credit rating is important in society.
I can see how on the surface it might make for a puzzling concept, but the underlying premise here is that it is good for society when you pay for the services you use. If you don't, suddenly no one will be interested in offering services on credit anymore. You obviously don't have much of an idea as to what life would be like for the rest of us if the vast majority of our society had 'bad credit.' You think capitalism's bad now? Wait till you see it when everyone wants their money first, since apparently paying one's bills is not a virtue.

Besides, fuck the credit companies, I have several credit cards and because I actually pay them off on time, they won't lower my interest rate, because they don't make any money off of me. If I were to carry huge balances they'd love me.

Well, after buying this new house a month ago, at least the bank loves us..lol

I can see how on the surface it might make for a puzzling concept, but the underlying premise here is that it is good for society when you pay for the services you use. If you don't, suddenly no one will be interested in offering services on credit anymore. You obviously don't have much of an idea as to what life would be like for the rest of us if the vast majority of our society had 'bad credit.' You think capitalism's bad now? Wait till you see it when everyone wants their money first, since apparently paying one's bills is not a virtue.No, that's not the point I'm making. I can see that it's got its merit, but the phrase is just such complete idiocy. Saying it the way you put it instead of some "You're defending America's freedom by having a good credit rating" phrase is what I'm getting at.
I can name a dozen things that are more valuable to society than having a good credit rating.

Besides, fuck the credit companies, I have several credit cards and because I actually pay them off on time, they won't lower my interest rate, because they don't make any money off of me. If I were to carry huge balances they'd love me.

Well, after buying this new house a month ago, at least the bank loves us..lol
I can't for the life of me understand what on earth anyone would want with a credit card in the first place. In my eyes, you're as much to blame as they are: spending money you don't have is the domain of the politician. It is not a sensible policy for them, and it's not a sensible policy for us. Debit all the way.

No, that's not the point I'm making.
Yeah, actually, it is. A good credit rating means you pay your bills on time.

I can see that it's got its merit, but the phrase is just such complete idiocy. Saying it the way you put it instead of some "You're defending America's freedom by having a good credit rating" phrase is what I'm getting at.
I can name a dozen things that are more valuable to society than having a good credit rating.
Fair enough, but bear in mind that the phrase was made for the sake of brevity. Debt collectors are not paid to discuss philosophical theory with people who are giving them shit for trying to collect on a loan.

Fair enough, but bear in mind that the phrase was made for the sake of brevity. Debt collectors are not paid to discuss philosophical theory with people who are giving them shit for trying to collect on a loan.I do. It's just when it's coupled with commercials that it rates as bullshit in my book. "It's the right thing to do" and "Eventually you'll want a car and a house" are abuse of the concept "American dream" for corporate purposes.
And she should have noticed that her rhetoric wasn't keeping things "brief."

I can see how on the surface it might make for a puzzling concept, but the underlying premise here is that it is good for society when you pay for the services you use. If you don't, suddenly no one will be interested in offering services on credit anymore. You obviously don't have much of an idea as to what life would be like for the rest of us if the vast majority of our society had 'bad credit.' You think capitalism's bad now? Wait till you see it when everyone wants their money first, since apparently paying one's bills is not a virtue.
What if there was no such thing as credit and *gasp* people always paid with money they had instead of money they wish they had?

Credit business has less scruples than businesses getting 12 year olds in Singapore to make shoes for them. Why? Because they make it their business to extract money from poor people, or else. And really? What are you going to do to a poor person? Put them in jail? Oh yeah, that will get the imaginary money back.

What if there was no such thing as credit and *gasp* people always paid with money they had instead of money they wish they had?
See my comment above about credit cards. I don't understand it either, but if people are stupid enough to fall for this shit they should have to pay the appropriate price.

Laerod:

I understand now: initially I had thought you were attacking the concept itself rather than the context of that concept. I think we understand each other now.

I can't for the life of me understand what on earth anyone would want with a credit card in the first place. In my eyes, you're as much to blame as they are: spending money you don't have is the domain of the politician. It is not a sensible policy for them, and it's not a sensible policy for us. Debit all the way.

Well, I pay my balances off every month. The only balance I carry is my mortgage. I just didn't have a spare $300,000 on me..lol But my credit cards help me keep track of what I spend and where. I don't carry balances on them. So, I do have the money, but I just don't carry money on me. So I use my cards, it's easier and when I get the bill I pay it off. Thus the credit card companies don't like me.. they don't make any money off of me. Plus it's always good to have a credit card or two in case of an emergency.

See my comment above about credit cards. I don't understand it either, but if people are stupid enough to fall for this shit they should have to pay the appropriate price.

As much as you would like to think it, we are not talknig about people trying to side step paying their debts. We are talking about how ludicrous the credit industry is and how you need a credit rating to do anything.

We are the credit industry. Resistance is futile.

As much as you would like to think it, we are not talknig about people trying to side step paying their debts. We are talking about how ludicrous the credit industry is and how you need a credit rating to do anything.

We are the credit industry. Resistance is futile.

Very true, lets see you rent a car, or get a 5 star hotel room or many other basic things without having a credit card. Good Luck!

Well, I pay my balances off every month. The only balance I carry is my mortgage. I just didn't have a spare $300,000 on me..lol But my credit cards help me keep track of what I spend and where. I don't carry balances on them. So, I do have the money, but I just don't carry money on me. So I use my cards, it's easier and when I get the bill I pay it off. Thus the credit card companies don't like me.. they don't make any money off of me. Plus it's always good to have a credit card or two in case of an emergency.
An easier way to handle this would be to set up a bill payment plan with your mortage company [as I'm sure you've already done] and pay the money when you actually had it. Just putting it on the card every month is liable to inflate the due balance beyond anything you could possibly pay off in one lifetime. I can understand the need to mitigate the debt, but since you'd need to write a check to pay your credit card bill anyway, adding a third wheel doesn't seem to make that much sense to me.

In the case of an emergency, most debit cards also allow a credit function anyway; in fact to my knowledge you can actually debit your checking account to a negative balance [I did it once by accident and would up with $300 in bank fees], so the 'emergency' contingency plan is already covered.

Really, I suppose, it all boils down to who you'd rather owe money: American Express or your bank. Given the amount of hostility I've seen in this and other countries towards corporate culture, I'm a bit surprised to see so many people preferring the former. I can't wait until the day I meet a socialist with a credit card.

I understand now: initially I had thought you were attacking the concept itself rather than the context of that concept. I think we understand each other now.Yeah, I attacked the density of the woman's character more than the meaning behind it. Of course it's good to pay for your debts. I just felt that her phrases were memorized or learned in "How do I deal with customers" class instead of used on the basis of improvisation. I find it funny how she failed to notice that she wouldn't get any better answer than "I don't know when I'll be able to pay for it" and kept asking what she knew the answer to. If that's standard procedure on how to deal with such situations it seems like there needs to be a change of thinking (I wouldn't know, I've never worked in one of those places).

As much as you would like to think it, we are not talknig about people trying to side step paying their debts.
Really? How many times do you think that operator had heard the phrase "I don't have any money?" Until this man is willing to pay for said creditor to fly out to his house and examine his living conditions, I'm more than certain no one anywhere in the credit industry is prepared to take some random dude's word for it.

We are talking about how ludicrous the credit industry is and how you need a credit rating to do anything.

We are the credit industry. Resistance is futile.
Give me a call when you graduate. A credit card is certainly not the only way of developing a credit history. I've got pretty good credit and I've never touched a credit card in my life.

Really? How many times do you think that operator had heard the phrase "I don't have any money?" Until this man is willing to pay for said creditor to fly out to his house and examine his living conditions, I'm more than certain no one anywhere in the credit industry is prepared to take some random dude's word for it.That pretty much defeats the idea of calling in a lot of cases then, doesn't it?

An easier way to handle this would be to set up a bill payment plan with your mortage company [as I'm sure you've already done] and pay the money when you actually had it. Just putting it on the card every month is liable to inflate the due balance beyond anything you could possibly pay off in one lifetime.

Oh no, you misunderstood me, I don't use my credit cards to pay my mortgage, I have (Zep and I ) a bank loan. We pay it monthly, they just take the funds out of our bank account.

That pretty much defeats the idea of calling in a lot of cases then, doesn't it?
Yeah, but you can't blame them for trying. I'm annoyed by these kinds of calls myself, but that doesn't mean I regard them as being somehow less justified. Besdes, when has the human mind let anything as insignificant as 'futility' interfere with it's aims? :p

Steph:

Sensible, but I would do my best to keep from using the card for anything else if I could help it. Truth be told, I have yet to set up a mortage myself, so I'm not entirely certain how it works. Being a homeowner, you actually probably know this kind of thing inside and out by now. When I get all angry at people with credit card debts, its generally directed at the dumb sons of bitches who accrued $10,000 in debts buying things for their house/car/self or what have you.

Yeah, but you can't blame them for trying. I'm annoyed by these kinds of calls myself, but that doesn't mean I regard them as being somehow less justified. Besdes, when has the human mind let anything as insignificant as 'futility' interfere with it's aims? :p Yeah, I haven't had any experiences with it myself because Germany has no call-culture. I assume this is because Germany is less spacious than the US, so most parts of the population live in urban areas. Makes it possible to hire someone to go knock on their door if they don't answer the letters.

Actually, if you are diligent about paying off the card each month then I say get one affilliated with a reward you want and use it for EVERYTHING!!! Rent payments? on the card. Food? on the card! Everything on the card!

You are going to pay out the money each month anyway. What does it matter if you pay it all to your credit card bill or disburse it personally?

As long as you don't incur interest charges, then collecting points towards something of value actually SAVES you money in the end. Case in point, get an airline-affiliated card, wear that puppy out, and take a free trip every year or so. Or get an auto manufacturer-affiliated car to generate points towards a hefty discount on your next vehicle. The programs are designed in the hopes that you DO carry a balance, but you certainly aren't required to.



The problem is, of course, that most people don't have the discipline to not carry a balance. For those people may I suggest a pair of scissors and a debit card, and one credit card with a $500 limit just for that time you need a card to reserve a car rental or whatever.

Laerod: Possibly. I'm glad we managed to settle our disagreement rather than allow it to escalate into lengthy discourse after lengthy discourse. I've had rather enough of those.

Steph, again:
Look, I have got no problem with people acting like assholes to the telemarketer who called up in the middle of dinner to ask if they wanted to buy a set of encyclopedias. Hell, I encourage it; it keeps them on their toes.

I do have a problem, however, with someone blowing off a legitimate creditor, saying, in effect; "I don't have money, so I'm going to tell you to go fuck yourself." If he really doesn't have the money, a more productive course of action would be to inform this person politely that he does not have the needed funds at present and must file for an extention. Barring that, he should inquire as to what the maximum time allowed is for that particular debt. If he can get no extention, he should make an appointment to meet someone personally; nine times out of ten the company will give you a break if you show that you care and that you're interested in paying back the debt.

If, however, you play games with the person who calls you and make a general asshat out of yourself, it's more than likely you'll just be blacklisted. I highly doubt this company is interested in offering any extentions, or loaning money to this man again. All he's doing with this childish bullshit is burning his bridges. I guarantee you he has a debt collector beating down his door within ten days; and when he does we're likely to see another thread describing the unspeakable evils of the credit industry. It's people who do shit like this that makes these things harder for the rest of us.

That fricking rocked. I laughed so damn hard.

Give me a call when you graduate. A credit card is certainly not the only way of developing a credit history. I've got pretty good credit and I've never touched a credit card in my life.
Please underline where I said the word "card" in the following statement:
"We are talking about how ludicrous the credit industry is and how you need a credit rating to do anything.

We are the credit industry. Resistance is futile."

Yeah, I attacked the density of the woman's character more than the meaning behind it. Of course it's good to pay for your debts. I just felt that her phrases were memorized or learned in "How do I deal with customers" class instead of used on the basis of improvisation. I find it funny how she failed to notice that she wouldn't get any better answer than "I don't know when I'll be able to pay for it" and kept asking what she knew the answer to. If that's standard procedure on how to deal with such situations it seems like there needs to be a change of thinking (I wouldn't know, I've never worked in one of those places).
I can't really blame her though. (I know a few people who've worked similar jobs).
In all likelyhood, she probably doesn't like the job terribly much (maybe she would...I wouldn't). She's got her own bills to pay, troubles to tend to, and just wants to get through another workday. She has no more desire to talk to him, than he does to her.

Her phrases and responses were probably from a "customer service" crash course. Most of the time her job doesn't require improvisation. And to be frank, she shouldn't have to deal with dickery.


...most of the time. ;)

That wasn't funny.... at least they have a job! and they're only trying to do their job to earn money to pay their bills!

Please underline where I said the word "card" in the following statement:
"We are talking about how ludicrous the credit industry is and how you need a credit rating to do anything.

We are the credit industry. Resistance is futile."
Fair enough, but a credit rating is our measure of how quickly you pay people for the services you use. To attack this concept is to attack the principle of paying people for their work. A credit rating is merely the most widely used numerical representation of this tendancy. I may have been a bit hasty to defend the credit card companies in the context of this argument, and looking back on it it sort of baffles me.

Why is the credit industry 'ludicrous' for attempting to track how quickly you pay back your bills, or even if you pay those bills?

I'm sorry...I found that freaking hilarious!

I'm sorry...You should be (:D)

Damn striaght!

It's not that funny. Most of it's just real pedantry, and ok, the ffbccw is stupid, but, there are better, and shorter, ways to piss off callers like that. Parts of it are good, but a lot of it's not that funny. In my opinion.
it was hilarious. pull the stick out of ur ass.

Not very funny, at best mildly amusing.

To be frank, your friend was dodging the paying of what he owes by playing silly, pedantic games with the poor caller whose crime consists of nothing more than trying to make a living.

Perhaps the reason your friend spends all day starring at the wall in his apartment is because he has a serious attitude problem. I know I wouldn't employ someone like that.