NationStates Jolt Archive

The 10 Commandments of War
By William Young

1. Believe in your military and only your military.
2. Love your country alone. Never bear any flag, but your country's flag.
3. Lie when you need to, but never to harm a fellow serviceman.
4. Remember the holidays honoring the military and those who have died.
5. Obey your superior officers.
6. Kill the enemy and don't get killed.
7. Pay for prostitutes when you need to, but wear a condom.
8. If you steal, don't steal from a fellow serviceman and don't get caught.
9. A tattler is a traitor.
10. Don't covet civilian life.

Awesome, man.

All of them seem serious enough and then I read number 7, I mean, what does that have to do with war?

All of them seem serious enough and then I read number 7, I mean, what does that have to do with war?
There was a whole thing (training films included) during WWII about servicemen watching out for foreign hookers (or just women in general) with STDs and the medical impact on morale and troop strength.

The 10 Commandments of War
By William Young + commentary

1. Believe in your military and only your military.

When has this ever been a good idea? Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see. Here's a simple test. Has your country been invaded? No? Then they're lying to you.

2. Love your country alone. Never bear any flag, but your country's flag.

Your flag is just a piece of cloth. But you can use it to bandage the bleeding stump of the guy next to you who is a real live human being. (But not for much longer if you don't stop that bleeding.)

3. Lie when you need to, but never to harm a fellow serviceman.

Don't lie. That would be immoral.

4. Remember the holidays honoring the military and those who have died.

Then again, you might have more important things to worry about. Such as how to stop bleeding.

5. Obey your superior officers.

No, that's the excuse the Nazis used. Think about what you're doing. Do your orders violate the rules of war? Are they stupid?

6. Kill the enemy and don't get killed.

Can anyone see a problem with this? Wouldn't the fact that the other side is trying to do the same thing make this sort of difficult?

7. Pay for prostitutes when you need to, but wear a condom.

Sound advice at last.

8. If you steal, don't steal from a fellow serviceman and don't get caught.

Stealing's immoral. Not too big on morality, these commandments.

9. A tattler is a traitor.

Oh good. Can we execute my little sister?

10. Don't covet civilian life.

Yes, because crawling around and being shot at is so much better than raising a familly or keeping all your limbs.

The 10 Commandments of War
By William Young

1. Believe in your military and only your military.
2. Love your country alone. Never bear any flag, but your country's flag.
3. Lie when you need to, but never to harm a fellow serviceman.
4. Remember the holidays honoring the military and those who have died.
5. Obey your superior officers.
6. Kill the enemy and don't get killed.
7. Pay for prostitutes when you need to, but wear a condom.
8. If you steal, don't steal from a fellow serviceman and don't get caught.
9. A tattler is a traitor.
10. Don't covet civilian life.

Lol... Lol

I can shorten it down to one commandment:

1. Fight for your life.

That's pretty much what you're doing when in war.

The 10 Commandments of War
By William Young + commentary

1. Believe in your military and only your military.

When has this ever been a good idea? Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see. Here's a simple test. Has your country been invaded? No? Then they're lying to you.

2. Love your country alone. Never bear any flag, but your country's flag.

Your flag is just a piece of cloth. But you can use it to bandage the bleeding stump of the guy next to you who is a real live human being. (But not for much longer if you don't stop that bleeding.)

3. Lie when you need to, but never to harm a fellow serviceman.

Don't lie. That would be immoral.

4. Remember the holidays honoring the military and those who have died.

Then again, you might have more important things to worry about. Such as how to stop bleeding.

5. Obey your superior officers.

No, that's the excuse the Nazis used. Think about what you're doing. Do your orders violate the rules of war? Are they stupid?

6. Kill the enemy and don't get killed.

Can anyone see a problem with this? Wouldn't the fact that the other side is trying to do the same thing make this sort of difficult?

7. Pay for prostitutes when you need to, but wear a condom.

Sound advice at last.

8. If you steal, don't steal from a fellow serviceman and don't get caught.

Stealing's immoral. Not too big on morality, these commandments.

9. A tattler is a traitor.

Oh good. Can we execute my little sister?

10. Don't covet civilian life.

Yes, because crawling around and being shot at is so much better than raising a familly or keeping all your limbs.

I'm with him ^^ on this one.

Six seems like pretty good advice.

Six seems like pretty good advice.

Well, yeah, but unless you have a really awesome medical condition, no-one ever needs a prostitute.

Well, yeah, but unless you have a really awesome medical condition, no-one ever needs a prostitute.

Six is the one about not dying....

Six is the one about not dying....

Damn this dyslexia.

All of them seem serious enough and then I read number 7, I mean, what does that have to do with war?

Men 'have needs'. surely as a pimp you should know that!

Men 'have needs'. surely as a pimp you should know that!

What about female soldiers?

What about female soldiers?
they have needs, too.


also, there's no such thing as the rules of war. they are a collection of loose guidelines that govern conduct that are regularly ignored by everyone.

this is all you need to follow in war;


1. Treat prisoners with the dignity of any human, afterall, they're soldiers, just like you. this does not apply to terrorists or armed insurgents. they have no rights.

2. Civvies are to be avoided if at all possible. human shields are to be shot. Protesters are to be ignored, because nobody cares what they think.

3. God invented Napalm for a reason. use it liberally.

4. when in doubt, call in an airstrike.

5. Obey your superiors, but remain sceptical. you are not required to obey officers that are retarded. this includes Secretaries of Defense.

6. If the thought of something makes you giggle for more than fifteen seconds, it is to be assumed that you are not allowed to do it.

7. Don't worry about offending the religious, it's their own fault for making their churches sturdy enough to be used as defensive structures and harbouring the enemy.

8. 100 mph tape is many things, a replacement for undergarments is not one of them. nor is it a suppliment to proper rifle matinance.

9. Nothing hurts more than being shot in the groin. Don't get shot there.

10. Guided weapons can be defeated, Unguided weapons can only be dodged.

Well, yeah, but unless you have a really awesome medical condition, no-one ever needs a prostitute.
Yeah, but prostitutes are to soldiers as clearance aisles are to women.

"I don't really need it, but it's cheap, so why not?"

Nobody needs candy either. ;)


Well, yeah, but unless you have a really awesome medical condition, no-one ever needs a prostitute.

Yeah, that's nice. Remember ol' Murphy though.

Updated, Improved and Expanded Murphy's Laws of Combat

Updates courtesy of Staff Sergeant Brian A. Heitman

Friendly fire - isn't.
Recoilless rifles - aren't.
Suppressive fires - won't.
You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo.
If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.
If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When they're ready. b. When you're not.
No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
Five-second fuses always burn three seconds.
There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
The important things are always simple.
The simple are always hard.
The easy way is always mined.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
If the enemy is within range, so are you.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
Tracers work both ways.
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.
Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
Weather ain't neutral.
If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
Napalm is an area support weapon.
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The one item you need is always in short supply.
Interchangeable parts aren't.
It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
When in doubt, empty your magazine.
The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
A bad ride is better than a good walk.
The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
Exceptions prove the rule and destroy the battle plan.
Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
A clean (and dry) uniform is a magnet for mud and rain.
The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
No matter which way you have to march, it’s always uphill.
If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
The tough part about being a leader is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M240B.
The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
The newest and least experienced soldier will usually be awarded the Medal of Honor.
A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
Body count Math --> 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
The crucial round is a dud.
There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as ishis deviousness and mischievousness).
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
Walking point = sniper bait.
Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank.
If orders can be misunderstood they will be.
Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud.
The weight of your equipment is proportional to the time you have been carrying it.
If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
When a front line soldier overhears two General Staff officers conferring, he has fallen back too far.
If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you.
Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . once.
Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
If you find yourself in front of your platoon they know something you don't.
The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.
When accused, admit nothing, deny everything, and file counter-accusations.
Murphy was a grunt.

Yeah, but prostitutes are to soldiers as clearance aisles are to women.

"I don't really need it, but it's cheap, so why not?"

Not just women...I know how that feels.

"Hmmm...I don't really need 2 crates of Pepsi...but it's two for one...two-for-one!" *head explodes*

Hell, I don't even drink Pepsi.

The 10 Commandments of War
By William Young

1. Believe in your military and only your military.
2. Love your country alone. Never bear any flag, but your country's flag.
3. Lie when you need to, but never to harm a fellow serviceman.
4. Remember the holidays honoring the military and those who have died.
5. Obey your superior officers.
6. Kill the enemy and don't get killed.
7. Pay for prostitutes when you need to, but wear a condom.
8. If you steal, don't steal from a fellow serviceman and don't get caught.
9. A tattler is a traitor.
10. Don't covet civilian life.

hmmm , 1. but dont forget to respect your enemy, if you dont respect your enemy, youll lose.

Love your country? and if your a mercenary? plus, washington faought for both the brits and the americans, vilated number 2 but, he did pretty well in the end. 3. You should never lie in war, trick your opponent but, lying to him? nah. 5. somone said before, the SS use this excuse it dosnt work.
6. Capturing the enemy is far better, harder but better, POW's can be batered.
8. Looting is something american and british armys dont do, neither should any army, it happens but, its better it dosnt, cos, looting casues bad feelings, and bad feelings is what fuels a guerilla campaign.

Clauswitz's "on war" is just about the best book on war in excistence.

9. Nothing hurts more than being shot in the groin. Don't get shot there.

Gallbladder is supposed to be worse. It's like having salty soap poured through your innards in addition to the gunshot wound itself.

The 10 Commandments of War
By William Young + commentary

1. Believe in your military and only your military.

When has this ever been a good idea? Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see. Here's a simple test. Has your country been invaded? No? Then they're lying to you.

I beleive in my Military, I don't know about you. Mine kicks ass

2. Love your country alone. Never bear any flag, but your country's flag.

Your flag is just a piece of cloth. But you can use it to bandage the bleeding stump of the guy next to you who is a real live human being. (But not for much longer if you don't stop that bleeding.)

I'm not sure what you're saying-are you just complaining that the flag doesn't include instructions written on it "Use as tourniquet in case of emergency"? WTF?

3. Lie when you need to, but never to harm a fellow serviceman.

Don't lie. That would be immoral.

4. Remember the holidays honoring the military and those who have died.

Then again, you might have more important things to worry about. Such as how to stop bleeding.

Again I say, WTF? Honoring the holidays that honour the military interferes with stopping bleeding HOW? Come again tango-whiskey-delta-foxtrot?


5. Obey your superior officers.

No, that's the excuse the Nazis used. Think about what you're doing. Do your orders violate the rules of war? Are they stupid?

An army doesn't function without a chain of command. Obey your superior officers, or else.

6. Kill the enemy and don't get killed.

Can anyone see a problem with this? Wouldn't the fact that the other side is trying to do the same thing make this sort of difficult?

They may try but the magic bullet getsem' everytime.Snipers-assistance from a distance!

7. Pay for prostitutes when you need to, but wear a condom.

Sound advice at last.

8. If you steal, don't steal from a fellow serviceman and don't get caught.

Stealing's immoral. Not too big on morality, these commandments.

9. A tattler is a traitor.

Oh good. Can we execute my little sister?

Man, you were the first person in this to mention YOUR sister. Wow.
10. Don't covet civilian life.

Yes, because crawling around and being shot at is so much better than raising a familly or keeping all your limbs.

Certainly honourable if you gave up the one to go through the other.



.

3. Lie when you need to, but never to harm a fellow serviceman.

Don't lie. That would be immoral.
This makes me giggle. I can just see a guard chatting with an enemy POW, and the POW saying: "Goddammit, Winston, how could you? You blasted my left leg off and shot the man standing beside me in the face, and that I can accept and forgive. But that you would then lie to me about your favorite flavor of icecream? That I can never forgive you for, Winston, never."

6. Kill the enemy and don't get killed.

Can anyone see a problem with this? Wouldn't the fact that the other side is trying to do the same thing make this sort of difficult?
So then a commandment is only a commandment if everyone involved fully agrees with it? You make less sense then some of the items on the list.

8. If you steal, don't steal from a fellow serviceman and don't get caught.

Stealing's immoral. Not too big on morality, these commandments.
So you're definition of morality is Shooting people in the face repeatedly=Good; Lying about your age=Bad; Infidelity/Just Fooling Around=Good; Stealing a Snickers Bar=Bad.
I just don't know what to say, but this man seems to know for me: :confused:

10. Don't covet civilian life.

Yes, because crawling around and being shot at is so much better than raising a familly or keeping all your limbs.
Actually, I agree with Phylum here, bitching is a soldiers right. Complaints and the ability to play with the best toys are all that soldiers get in the way of perks (they certainly aren't doing it for the cash).
P.S.: Some people may like that whole patriotism thing, but I never bought into that, so I can't comment.