NationStates Jolt Archive


Which zombie cliche would you be?

Grampus
25-08-2005, 01:45
Personally I'd be one of the chaps who twists his ankle or breaks his leg, and then stays behind while the flesh-eating nasties draw ever closer, thus buying time for the rest of the group to shut the door/get on the chopper/climb up and kick away the ladder. I'd end my days shouting 'Shoot me! Shoot me, please!'.
Dishonorable Scum
25-08-2005, 01:48
I'd be the mad scientist in the laboratory, laughing insanely and saying, "Hahaha! Everything is going exactly as I have planned!"

But then I do that all the time anyway.

:p
German Nightmare
25-08-2005, 01:49
I'd be the one shouting "Do exactly as I tell you when I tell you. There are no arguments on this one!"

(The hand hovers over the red "Zombie-Alert" button - so, have you officially declared an emergency or is this just hypothetical?). :D

Personally I'd be one of the chaps who twists his ankle or breaks his leg, and then stays behind while the flesh-eating nasties draw ever closer, thus buying time for the rest of the group to shut the door/get on the chopper/climb up and kick away the ladder. I'd end my days shouting 'Shoot me! Shoot me, please!'.
You know that you will be known as limpy-zombie from then on - the one we won't shoot but just throw empty beer cans at from the rooftop while having a blast surviving and outsmarting you undead...
The Czardaian envoy
25-08-2005, 01:51
I'd be the evil zombie overlord who raises the zombie for his own use, then escapes in his spaceship laughing maniacally at the poor chaps who finally found the secret crystal to destroy all of the zombies. I would always return, but no one would ever see me except some chaps who my men captured and would be brought in front of me. I'd have the stereotypical black robes and blood-red eyes, and speak in an evil voice filled with all kinds of clichés found in every single bad zombie movie.

~Czardas
Smecks
25-08-2005, 01:53
the one that falls when the hordes are walking their evil little walk and then says

"go on without me... I'll never make it"
Grampus
25-08-2005, 01:54
You know that you will be known as limpy-zombie from then on - the one we won't shoot but just throw empty beer cans at from the rooftop while having a blast surviving and outsmarting you undead...

Pah. If you were actually one of the 'good' guys you'd have shot me when I asked. No doubt for all your bluster you are concealling the fact that you got bitten and are soon to turn at the most inopportune moment.
Bolol
25-08-2005, 01:55
I'd be the quiet one who seems to know exactly what's going on...The rest of the team doesn't realize what's going on until it's too late...

I AM ALBERT WESKER!!!
German Nightmare
25-08-2005, 01:55
Dammit! How'd you know that... Gnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Brains :D:D:D
Kroisistan
25-08-2005, 01:56
Oh Oh! I'll be the whacko survivalist guy who's seen this coming for years, and has conveinietly stockpiled an array of heavy weaponry, body armor, and a black market soviet tank for just such an occasion. Then I'd rescue the angst filled teen, the average joe, the slightly mad scientist and the hot chick, take them to a mall(It must be a mall damn you) hole up there for a while. After filling up on cinnabuns I take the survivors in my tank to the airport, hotwire a plane and using my awesome flying skills fly everyone to Europe, which should be zombie free as zombies suck and can't swim or operate boats.
Bolol
25-08-2005, 01:59
The Umbrella Corporation will be reborn...
German Nightmare
25-08-2005, 01:59
Good thinking! And yes, it's gotta be the mall...

Your plan has - if I may say so - only a small flaw: I'm from Germany and they are already here...

(Or better: They will be - "Land of the Dead" opens in cinemas on September 1st - this better be good!!!)
Grampus
25-08-2005, 02:00
Good thinking! And yes, it's gotta be the mall...

Pub is also good.
Kroisistan
25-08-2005, 02:03
Good thinking! And yes, it's gotta be the mall...

Your plan has - if I may say so - only a small flaw: I'm from Germany and they are already here...

(Or better: They will be - "Land of the Dead" opens in cinemas on September 1st - this better be good!!!)

Well when I land in Germany I rescue German Nightmare and we all fly to Israel/Palestine. Zombies are scared shitless of the Israelis. No one knows why, but the Mad scientist is trying to discover the secret and turn it into our ultimate weapon. I don't know, we'll put Ariel Sharon in a cannon or something. It's all theoretical so far. :D
Dumner
25-08-2005, 02:07
the stupid military guy who desides to nuke everything.
Pantera
25-08-2005, 02:07
I would be the charismatic leader of the human resistance, based in an old beef-packing plant. My sex appeal and witty one-liners would bring in droves of gaunt, sex-starved refugees, which we would then screen for bite-marks, stretch-marks, and penises. If any are found the refugee would be turned away to do their best amongst the zombie-infested wasteland surrounding us. Soon mankind would flicker and finally vanish, save for my one tiny spark of crazed debauchery, as would the zombies who are deprived of their food source. I and a select few others would restart mankind into an egalitarian utopia, with lots of sangria and burritos.

Or I'd be a shrieking, gore-soaked zombie, ruining whatever plans you fuckers have by leaping off a building and ripping your leaders face completely off. And I wouldn't be any pussy zombie, lurching around all clumsy and moaning. No. I'd be the one sprinting ultra-fast into the group of school children and spreading the infection to dozens in just a few moments.

Yeah. I'd be a -great- zombie.
Hemingsoft
25-08-2005, 02:11
I am the epitome of what I shall call "The Zombie Stacking" procedure. This is when all the zombies are chasing the good guys and they run through a door and close it. Then all the zombies just start leaning against the door until it breaks. See, persist until all resistance gives way!!
Grampus
25-08-2005, 02:16
... old beef-packing plant. My sex appeal ...

Not often we experience those two phrases occuring so close together.


... Or I'd be a shrieking, gore-soaked zombie, ruining whatever plans you fuckers have by leaping off a building and ripping your leaders face completely off.


Any plan which cannot survive our so-called leader's face being ripped off by a shrieking, gore-soaked zombie was obviously a rubbish plan to start with.
Dishonorable Scum
25-08-2005, 02:16
What, nobody wants to be Shaun? :p
Grampus
25-08-2005, 02:17
What, nobody wants to be Shaun? :p

Hey, I did chip in with a suggestion about a pub instead of a mall.*


* I guess that would also cover From Dusk Till Dawn.
Dobbsworld
25-08-2005, 02:19
I'll be the one who gets infected slowly, thus providing the blood serum needed to inoculate the rest of the survivors. But I'll die before the serum is ready and have to be put down before I become a rampaging undead zombie.

*edit: I just want to say that nothing scares the crap out of me like a zombie movie. Even the silly ones.
Squirrel Brothers
25-08-2005, 02:20
I'd be the zombie that still looked human enough that the people would let me close. Then I would try to feast before being blown away. I'm the reason the virus is spread. woohoo!
Grampus
25-08-2005, 02:22
I'd be the zombie that still looked human enough that the people would let me close.

I guess this is better than being the human that looked like a zombie and getting wasted by pistol fire just when you almost make it to safety.
Ravea
25-08-2005, 02:23
I'm the totally badass zombie killer with a huge pistol and a machete and a gas mask.

On second thought, replace the machete with a giant rubber dildo.

Die, zombie scum!
Hemingsoft
25-08-2005, 02:25
Or I'd like to be that zombie who is always first to the door and can reach his hand in. I wonder if they draw lots to see who gets to be that zombie?
Alindrea
25-08-2005, 02:29
id be the person sitting pulling up the beach chair on the side of the road by the mall or pub opening up a few drinks and watching all of you idiot zombies and humans fighting.....ahhhh good times good good times.Dont forget the popcorn.
Alindrea
25-08-2005, 02:31
Or I'd like to be that zombie who is always first to the door and can reach his hand in. I wonder if they draw lots to see who gets to be that zombie?

Yep they wait for their dinner to run away while they are pulling straws...sounds good to me.
Call to power
25-08-2005, 02:38
I would be zombie Michel Jackson in "thriller"
Rotovia-
25-08-2005, 02:41
I'd be the rich obnoxious guy who ends up betraying you all in exchange for safe passage out of the city, only to end up tripping over and impaling myself a vibrator and which point the entire cast would (in turn) recite a crude retort.
CthulhuFhtagn
25-08-2005, 02:44
I'd be the guy with a chainsaw for a hand. (Not technically a zombie movie, but still.)
Grampus
25-08-2005, 02:46
I'd be the rich obnoxious guy who ends up betraying you all...

You see the problem with your character is that too many people learnt not to trust yuppie scum prior to the zombie holocaust. Maybe in the seventies you could get them to trust you, but certainly by the mid-eighties rich obnoxious guys had pissed off too many people. The only real call for them in zombie films these days is to look at the bloody arm stump sheared off by a zombie at the elbow and shout 'My rolex! My rolex!"
Rotovia-
25-08-2005, 02:52
You see the problem with your character is that too many people learnt not to trust yuppie scum prior to the zombie holocaust. Maybe in the seventies you could get them to trust you, but certainly by the mid-eighties rich obnoxious guys had pissed off too many people. The only real call for them in zombie films these days is to look at the bloody arm stump sheared off by a zombie at the elbow and shout 'My rolex! My rolex!"
Ah, but you see you wouldn't trust me. You'd just need my yacht/jet/space ship/time machine/booze/yoko ono.
New Europa Utopia
25-08-2005, 02:56
I would have to be the person who decided to go into a dark room alone while others outside ready to leave so i can take one last look around being curious or to loot just one more thing, being greedy and get bitten :eek:

Then i would tell them all to go on without me, so i would turn into a flesh eating zombie Girl :D

And hopefully i would get to eat one of the people i knew and who let me stay behind later on before being blown away :mp5:
Laerod
25-08-2005, 03:00
I'll be that nice, shy person that no one likes, but everyone pities, that everyone knows will be the first to get nabbed by the zombie hordes when everyone else least expects it, only to return near the end to finish off the other people in the group, one by one. :D
Rotovia-
25-08-2005, 03:02
I'll be that nice, shy person that no one likes, but everyone pities, that everyone knows will be the first to get nabbed by the zombie hordes when everyone else least expects it, only to return near the end to finish off the other people in the group, one by one. :D
nice
Rotovia-
25-08-2005, 03:03
Maybe I should be the toekn black guy... or better yet the wise black guy. That way I get to live to nearly the end and die selflessly so the lead guy and the virgin can escape...
Phalanix
25-08-2005, 03:05
I'd probably be the guy who dirves around aimlessly in a tank untill he gets to NORAD and somehow get in and live my life till I die an old man in a big fucking military base in a mountain
Gartref
25-08-2005, 03:06
I would be the progressive republican zombie. I would stand in the corner eating liberal brains whilst my party was taken over by soulless neo-cons.
Rotovia-
25-08-2005, 03:08
I'd probably be the guy who dirves around aimlessly in a tank untill he gets to NORAD and somehow get in and live my life till I die an old man in a big fucking military base in a mountain
'cept you'd never make it because you aggree to take the "party" to a safe place and learn a lesson in friendship along the way... only to be eaten the token black guy...
Gendara
25-08-2005, 03:09
Not often we experience those two phrases occuring so close together.

You've never been to New York City, I see...


Oh Oh! I'll be the whacko survivalist guy who's seen this coming for years, and has conveinietly stockpiled an array of heavy weaponry, body armor, and a black market soviet tank for just such an occasion. Then I'd rescue the angst filled teen, the average joe, the slightly mad scientist and the hot chick, take them to a mall(It must be a mall damn you) hole up there for a while. After filling up on cinnabuns I take the survivors in my tank to the airport, hotwire a plane and using my awesome flying skills fly everyone to Europe, which should be zombie free as zombies suck and can't swim or operate boats.

The saddest part of this? I've been playing a zombie survival game online (www.urbandead.com), and the first thing I did in-game was steal a fire-axe from a Fire Station, then went to ground in a mall, with an assorted collection of grizzled ex-military, scientists, and clueless civilians.

I've effectively become the guy who gets such an adrenaline rush from killing zombies with my collections of weapons, that no one is quite comfortable around me anymore - that sort of serial-killer stare and obsession with death paradoxically making me an outcast from whatever shreds of civilization still exist, but also its best chance to survive...
Ravenshrike
25-08-2005, 03:10
Pub is also good.
Only if Deus Ex Machina occurs and the British military drops out of nowhere.
Mind Sickness
25-08-2005, 03:11
I would be the guy at the beginning of the movie who's sitting on a bench in the graveyard with his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend. I'd start smoking a joint when the girlfriend would say...
"You're smoking DRUGS!? How could you drag me to a scary place like this with this dirty stoner? I'm going home Billy."
To which Billy would reply..
"...but Sandra...Dude you're a dick!"
He would then trot off after Sandra, leaving me alone with my joint.
I would then be devoured by zombies, becoming yet another lame 'Don't Do Drugs' subliminal message in a horror movie.

(Or better: They will be - "Land of the Dead" opens in cinemas on September 1st - this better be good!!!)

Land of the Dead has already been released in North America, and I have seen it. Trust me on this one: It Is Fucking Awsome.
Phalanix
25-08-2005, 03:13
'cept you'd never make it because you aggree to take the "party" to a safe place and learn a lesson in friendship along the way... only to be eaten the token black guy...
Like hell I'd only stop for five things:
1. Ammo for "cleaning the streets"
2. Hot girls
3. Gas
4. Beer
5. Take a crap because like hell I'm stinkin up a tank with my crap
New Europa Utopia
25-08-2005, 03:16
Land of the Dead has another token lets go into a dark building when we should be leaving/being carefull to loot more.

Just like 28 days later, ohhh worlds filled with crazed zombie like people, lets go alone into a burger place to explore, but he dont get eaten, shame. :)
Rotovia-
25-08-2005, 03:19
Like hell I'd only stop for five things:
<snip>
2. Hot girls

There are two main problems here:
1: The Hot Girls would probally be sent by "the group" to secure transport
2: The Hot Girls would be infected and would later eat you whilst engaging in sexual acts the like of which will make you not care you're about to become a zombee....
Call to power
25-08-2005, 03:30
2: The Hot Girls would be infected and would later eat you whilst engaging in sexual acts the like of which will make you not care you're about to become a zombee....

I would do that :D
OHidunno
25-08-2005, 03:30
I want to be the virgin who gets an incredibly close call when she trips while fleeing, and a zombie graps onto her leg. The hero then comes back to pull her to safety.

And somehow we survive.

:D
Laerod
25-08-2005, 03:32
I just recalled something. I'm going to be a waterlogged corpse. A sea-zombie that rises from the depths of a murky body of water to do THIS (http://img290.imageshack.us/img290/9040/mvc790f4og.jpg) to the unaware boaters! Muahahahaha! :D
Laerod
25-08-2005, 03:32
I want to be the virgin who gets an incredibly close call when she trips while fleeing, and a zombie graps onto her leg. The hero then comes back to pull her to safety.

And somehow we survive.

:D
Minus the leg... :p
United States of Brink
25-08-2005, 03:35
Wait when you talked bout the selfish rich guy were you referring to that tales of the crpyt zombie movie. THat was just fucking great from like zillions of years ago.

Anywho I would def be the guy who is always right behind the lead guy. I wouldnt die cause id always be in every seen like "Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy" And than the lead guy would die but i would live with the hot girl on an island full of native hot girls who somehow mistake me for their god and so forth.

Fokker out
Grampus
25-08-2005, 03:45
I just recalled something. I'm going to be a waterlogged corpse.

That gets the award for coolest zombie so far. Does 'waterlogged corpse' accurately reflect your real personality though?

Only if Deus Ex Machina occurs and the British military drops out of nowhere.

If nothing else a pub holds copious amounts of alcohol. Why is it that whenever the survivors know they have to kill one of their own they never give him/her a bottle of spirits first? Being shot for being bitten I could possibly accept, but being shot for being bitten without a good bottleful of rum or whiskey in me would really put a damper on my day.
Grampus
25-08-2005, 03:46
I've effectively become the guy who gets such an adrenaline rush from killing zombies with my collections of weapons, that no one is quite comfortable around me anymore - that sort of serial-killer stare and obsession with death paradoxically making me an outcast from whatever shreds of civilization still exist, but also its best chance to survive...

Hmmm. Ever read I Am Legend? I think you just stepped into that territory - where you become a monster to the undead, instead of the other way round.
Grampus
25-08-2005, 03:47
Ah, but you see you wouldn't trust me. You'd just need my yacht/jet/space ship/time machine/booze/yoko ono.

Ah, fair enough: thus providing the *important moral lesson* that it is better to have a skill (schtick) than a material possession (mojo).
Laerod
25-08-2005, 03:58
That gets the award for coolest zombie so far. Does 'waterlogged corpse' accurately reflect your real personality though?In a way. It reflects my natural aversion to cold water that doesn't manage to keep me from entering it :D
The great nude
25-08-2005, 04:00
Have you guys seen Shaun of the Dead (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/) ? =D

I personally would be the old woman with the shotgun.
Orteil Mauvais
25-08-2005, 04:05
I'd be the one with the zombie shooting gun, that always tells them what to do right, but then is eaten for the irony.
Squi
25-08-2005, 04:12
I'd been the stoner/recluse/drunk who the survivors stumble across, who has absolutely no idea that zombies are overtaking the world (haen't bothered to check the news, was baked or hungover while it happened, take your choice) and is confused by all the fuss until things are explained to me.
Adamor
25-08-2005, 04:12
I would be the zombie that never dies and everyone hates. He dresses like a retard and appears right behind everyone else in every shot.
Mind Sickness
25-08-2005, 04:13
I must thank Gendara...Urban Undead kicks ASS!

*places the severed head of a zombie at Gendara's feet*
Ratheia
25-08-2005, 04:14
I'm the guy who goes insane and starts screaming 'We're all gonna die!"

I'm the only one to survive in the end when I selflessly sacrifice myself to invoke the spirit of Baal.

o_0
Phalanix
25-08-2005, 04:18
There are two main problems here:
1: The Hot Girls would probally be sent by "the group" to secure transport
2: The Hot Girls would be infected and would later eat you whilst engaging in sexual acts the like of which will make you not care you're about to become a zombee....
<_< >_> Ok scratch number two I'll just make a stop off to pick up my best friend (him being as sane as me) and we'd probably end up shooting any zombie/infectie we see and my plan of moving to NORAD screw that go next province over (Saskachewan) and enjoy that flat as hell place and build up a underground base with the survivors that wern't infected (sceening processes will apply to everyone, the infected are put to death as humanely as possible).
Luporum
25-08-2005, 04:35
I'd be the one guy who doesn't say a word until the zombies break through the barrier. When that happens I'll camly load a fresh clip and tell the others to start running and don't look back.

The same person who gets completely swarmed, but isn't shown dieing and ends up surviving somehow because the writers wanted to add in the: "Heh, what took you guys so long?"

--Scenario 2--

I'm the poor bastard who pushes the lamest charecter out of the path of certain doom and dies in turn.
New British Glory
25-08-2005, 04:59
I would be the guy that says:

"We had better split up to cover more ground"

despite the fact that we are in the middle of a foreboding corridor/basement/park/castle.
Laerod
25-08-2005, 05:04
What about not being a zombie at all, but being the creepy graveyard caretaker that always wears a hood, is never met when it's not raining or daytime, and always carries a lantern? Incedentally, he'd also be the one behind everything. :D
Morvonia
25-08-2005, 05:32
i'd be the guy standing near a gate or door or whatever...just then the zombies brake in and eat me.


or the guy who has no chance of surviving and attempts to shoot himself in the head...but did not know i ran out of ammo.
The Downmarching Void
25-08-2005, 06:22
I'd be the zombie that eats the brains of 95% of the good guys/not yet zombies.



*runs around screaming "Brains, more brains!!*
Biting Spider Monkees
25-08-2005, 13:42
Id probably skinny pasty white guy, continuously caring a baseball bat round with me... ...oh oh better yet I'd be the guy who helps save the skinny white guy at the start of the movie, introducing myself with a silly animal walks into a bar joke right after we're all almost killed by zombies.
I would then later become infected all because of skinny white guys inability to fully realize the dangers which lurk so closely all around day and night, night and day after day after day of undead chased, zombie smashing apocalypse. :eek:

P.S finally a Thread about something actually important to us all
German Nightmare
25-08-2005, 15:02
Well when I land in Germany I rescue German Nightmare and we all fly to Israel/Palestine. Zombies are scared shitless of the Israelis. No one knows why, but the Mad scientist is trying to discover the secret and turn it into our ultimate weapon. I don't know, we'll put Ariel Sharon in a cannon or something. It's all theoretical so far. :D
Very good! Now we're talking :D
Pub is also good.
I assume that there's a place on the airplane for you as well - first round in Israel is on you, though!
I'd be the guy with a chainsaw for a hand. (Not technically a zombie movie, but still.)
Mmh. When it comes to zombies (and an infection spread via blood) I'm not in favor of that kind of weaponry - then again, as long as we can plug in something else on your stump, like a blunt object...
I'll be that nice, shy person that no one likes, but everyone pities, that everyone knows will be the first to get nabbed by the zombie hordes when everyone else least expects it, only to return near the end to finish off the other people in the group, one by one. :D
Okay, guess you're not coming with us, then?
I've effectively become the guy who gets such an adrenaline rush from killing zombies with my collections of weapons, that no one is quite comfortable around me anymore - that sort of serial-killer stare and obsession with death paradoxically making me an outcast from whatever shreds of civilization still exist, but also its best chance to survive...
Does that mean you can open beer bottles with a swing of the fireaxe? Hopefully you don't mind hanging out in Israel for a while...
Land of the Dead has already been released in North America, and I have seen it. Trust me on this one: It Is Fucking Awsome.
Good. The creepy part about this: I'm pretty much the only one among my friends who's really into zombie movies. That means, I'll be the only one to go watch it at the movies - and riding the bike home after the movie is almost as much fun as watching it. Looking forward to seeing it even more so now.
Like hell I'd only stop for five things:
1. Ammo for "cleaning the streets"
2. Hot girls (which are not infected in any way)
3. Gas
4. Beer & zigarettes!
5. Take a crap because like hell I'm stinkin up a tank with my crap
Very good indeed. How about we bolt a port-a-potty onto the tank? That should work just fine and we'd have to make less stops. Plus, we can hose the undead with that blue fecies and set them on fire :D
And we should add one of those bulldozer shovels to the front.

Come to think of it - we can take that tank with us to Israel, can't we?
If nothing else a pub holds copious amounts of alcohol. Why is it that whenever the survivors know they have to kill one of their own they never give him/her a bottle of spirits first? Being shot for being bitten I could possibly accept, but being shot for being bitten without a good bottleful of rum or whiskey in me would really put a damper on my day.
Okay. The shopping list now reads:
4. Beer, zigarettes & whisk(e)y for the soon to be shot!
I'd been the stoner... who the survivors stumble across, who has absolutely no idea that zombies are overtaking the world (haen't bothered to check the news, was baked ... while it happened, take your choice) and is confused by all the fuss until things are explained to me.
Dude, what's going on? :D:D:D
I almost forgot about talking the good stuff... Make #4 all the nourishing "soulfoodstuff" we'd need.

Anyway, I'll head over to Urban Dead and check it out. Catch you guys later!
Sergio the First
25-08-2005, 17:34
I´d be a self-righteous histerical defender of equal rights , healthcare and political franchise for the zombie population and end up joining it out of of leftist displaced solidarity.
Call to power
25-08-2005, 17:40
I would probly be a zombie who is buried under a big layer of concrete so I can't get out and just die without anyone knowing :( (but I would still rather be zombie Michel Jackson in thriller)
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
25-08-2005, 17:49
I'd be the bastard who shoots some kid in the head because she was bitten and was going to turn into "one of them" later. You know, the actual smart one who no one can stand and who acts with the interests of the group in mind, and in the end gets killed by the "righteous" loser de'jour who will survive inspite of his own lack of will and incredible ignorance.
German Nightmare
25-08-2005, 18:02
I must thank Gendara...Urban Undead kicks ASS!
...
I absolutely second that - if only I had more AP!!!
Mekonia
25-08-2005, 18:26
I would be like the guy in 28 days later who pretends to be a zombie just to get in with the crowd!
German Nightmare
25-08-2005, 19:06
I would be like the guy in 28 days later who pretends to be a zombie just to get in with the crowd!
Didn't that happen in Shaun of the Dead?
Thermidore
25-08-2005, 21:36
I'd be the bastard who shoots some kid in the head because she was bitten and was going to turn into "one of them" later. You know, the actual smart one who no one can stand and who acts with the interests of the group in mind, and in the end gets killed by the "righteous" loser de'jour who will survive inspite of his own lack of will and incredible ignorance.

Haha! Good one!

I'd be either the callous ecologist who concocted the zombie virus/brought it back from deepest Africa, in an aim to reduce world population - by proliferating it in MacDonalds's Big Macs through my handy network of environmental freako buddies (who all conveniently have been vaccinated)

Or I'd be some sort of mad-scientist type who is obsessed with eugenics and made the plague to cull the weakest of the herd....

Or lastly I'd be the sociopathic guy, that guy no-one really got to know that well, a typical "background scenery guy" who is secretly using the zombie invasion as a reason to exercise his murderous instinct on the rest, killing off the group one by one...


Sociopathic much?? :D
The borg homeworld
25-08-2005, 21:39
zombies can't capture me,i'm technically a super zombie,interesed only in assimilating you to borg.
a group of zombies,led by a suber zombie,known as the borg,they will be halfway between life and death if the zombie gets you,or be assimilated
Kleptonis
25-08-2005, 21:47
I'd be the guy who finally shoots a zombie in the head/heart/gallbladder/groin, making one crumple over and revealing their weakness. Unfortunately for me, my heroism will be short lived, as the moment I inform the rest of my team of survivors how to kill the zombies, I will have fulfilled my part of the plot and become fodder for the zombie armies. This will ensure that everyone understands that the real hero is always the best looking survivor, not the smartest, strongest, most street-wise, or best shot.
Kevlanakia
25-08-2005, 22:10
I'll be the "clever" zombie who hangs around the spectator stand on football matches to avoid detection. In the end, I will stumble into a boat carrying frozen chickens to Europe and hide in a freezer, thus ensuring the sequel.
Kleptonis
26-08-2005, 00:24
The saddest part of this? I've been playing a zombie survival game online (www.urbandead.com), and the first thing I did in-game was steal a fire-axe from a Fire Station, then went to ground in a mall, with an assorted collection of grizzled ex-military, scientists, and clueless civilians.

I've effectively become the guy who gets such an adrenaline rush from killing zombies with my collections of weapons, that no one is quite comfortable around me anymore - that sort of serial-killer stare and obsession with death paradoxically making me an outcast from whatever shreds of civilization still exist, but also its best chance to survive...
It can't be any worse than me, I'm running around the city with six shotguns, 4 pistols, and a fire axe, and I'm hiding it all in two flak jackets. I've effectively become a one man armory. If only I could keep myself from unloading all my ammo in a matter of minutes...
Zatarack
26-08-2005, 00:33
One of the super zombies. One that really knows how to ruin everything.
Call to power
26-08-2005, 00:38
It can't be any worse than me, I'm running around the city with six shotguns, 4 pistols, and a fire axe, and I'm hiding it all in two flak jackets. I've effectively become a one man armory. If only I could keep myself from unloading all my ammo in a matter of minutes...

dammit I'm a zombie :( (it sucks)
Zolworld
26-08-2005, 00:52
I'd be the dumbass who stands there and says "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me exactly whats going on" while everyone else is trying to flee the zombie horde.
Zatarack
26-08-2005, 00:55
I'd be the dumbass who stands there and says "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me exactly whats going on" while everyone else is trying to flee the zombie horde.

So would that involve me eating you?
Kiwi-kiwi
26-08-2005, 01:06
I'd be the young girl that has somehow survived the start of the onslaught and is picked up by the main group. I would then proceed to do absolutely nothing for anyone, except mooch off their support. Though I might end up saving someone's life at the last moment by happening to pick up their dropped gun and shoot a zombie in the head.
Zatarack
26-08-2005, 01:18
I'd be the young girl that has somehow survived the start of the onslaught and is picked up by the main group. I would then proceed to do absolutely nothing for anyone, except mooch off their support. Though I might end up saving someone's life at the last moment by happening to pick up their dropped gun and shoot a zombie in the head.

And isn't there another role?
Phalanix
26-08-2005, 01:23
Very good indeed. How about we bolt a port-a-potty onto the tank? That should work just fine and we'd have to make less stops. Plus, we can hose the undead with that blue fecies and set them on fire
And we should add one of those bulldozer shovels to the front.

Come to think of it - we can take that tank with us to Israel, can't we?

I like your thinking though for me crossing the bloody Atlantic or Pacific is alittle pointless so I'll just roam North America and create my little fortress out of a max security prisson after emptying it of the inmates.
Pencil 17
26-08-2005, 01:28
I'd be that girl who tries to think everything out and organize to try to survive the zombie attack, and everyone thinks I'm going to survive until the end..... and then I get killed off suddenly in a gigantic explosion of blood/guts/zombies.
Grampus
26-08-2005, 01:28
I'd be the young girl that has somehow survived the start of the onslaught and is picked up by the main group. I would then proceed to do absolutely nothing for anyone, except mooch off their support.


No, no, you aren't 'mooching off their support' you are fulfilling the role of a surrogate child and satiating the maternal urges of one of the female leads who has already lost her real child.

Am I right in assuming that you will have eyes aged before their time and be mute until a dramatic juncture in the last reel of the film?
Grampus
26-08-2005, 01:32
I like your thinking though for me crossing the bloody Atlantic or Pacific is alittle pointless so I'll just roam North America and create my little fortress out of a max security prisson after emptying it of the inmates.

Bad move, but poetically just: no matter how hard you try to keep the zombies locked out, you know that you'll only succeed in locking at least one of them in with you. You'll end your days grasping at the prison bars screaming 'Let me out! For God's sake let me out of here' as you are overcome by the living dead.
Phalanix
26-08-2005, 01:37
Not realy if you have other (non biten) survivors with you and you're in the middel of nowhere and have some common sense to have new comers locked in a cel for afew days to see if they change on you
Grampus
26-08-2005, 01:39
Not realy if you have other (non biten) survivors with you and you're in the middel of nowhere and have some common sense to have new comers locked in a cel for afew days to see if they change on you

Ah, you seem to have failed to notice that this is the 'zombie cliche' thread, not the 'survive the oncoming zombie apocalypse' thread.

Locking newcomers in a cell for a couple of days is a reasonable enough move: but can you ever be sure that you've found all the failed escape tunnel attempts that might house a lurking flesh-eater?
Phalanix
26-08-2005, 01:48
Now thats where the cliche comes in with me going insane and opening up any said tunnel I can find to permit the zombies to feast on the fools that trusted me
Grampus
26-08-2005, 01:50
Now thats where the cliche comes in with me going insane and opening up any said tunnel I can find to permit the zombies to feast on the fools that trusted me

Are we talking 'going insane' in an 'eating the flesh of other humans although not technically being one of the undead' fashion here? That would fit the thread okay.
Norgopia
26-08-2005, 01:53
I'd be the zombie you thought you killed in Resident Evil, then as you walk past it....it rises :eek:
Morvonia
26-08-2005, 02:01
i'd be the stupid person who sees a person with his/her back to me and as i approch i keep on saying "dont worry...you are save now!" and then he/she turns around is discovered to be a zombie....and then i trip trying to run and get eaten by the zombie.
GX-Land
26-08-2005, 02:01
I'd be the guy the evil scientist dudes experiment on to turn me into a Nemesis lookalike.
Lord Bruce Campbell
26-08-2005, 02:37
Hmmm.... who would I be?

I guess I would be the rugged manly person who was the first to encounter the undead. I would spend about a year huddled in my shack in the woods learning the proper way to disable the slow-walking beasts. Eventually all of the zombies would be dead. Then, when a few teens drive up for a weekend full of vice they trigger a new rush of zombies. I would proceed to help them escape with me. While shooting zombies on the back of the pick-up truck I would run out of ammo and have to use a Tire-Iron or crowbar to kill the rest. In the sequel I would be found to have a genetic resistance to whatever causes the undead-syndrome. I would use a bat or mideval weapon to kill unmercifully. The ignorant teens who picked me up would have some unknown reason to insist on following me during my vengefull killing spree and all but the most beautiful young girl would end up dying.

Option 2

I would be a rugged, wise-cracking young man who is used to fighting undead and has a chainsaw attatched to his arm. After a second encounter I'm sent back in time or to a parallel universe where zombies are a dime a dozen (or possibly nonexistant and I have to help them survive).

My girlfriend would be a hot scientist who discovers how to train the zombies and how their brain works. Eventually her pet would turn on the other zombies and die when I kill all of the zombies in the room.
Lord Bruce Campbell
26-08-2005, 02:38
Nevermind, I would be Ash from Evil Dead I&II and Army of Darkness.




This is my BOOMSTICK (http://tonova.lockergnome.net/Ash%20and%20Boomstick.jpg)