NationStates Jolt Archive

Today, innocently stocking produce at my local grocery store, I learned several horrible secrets I had no desire to ever *EVER* know...

1 - If we leave grapes out long enough, they're no longer expired or rotten.
They're raisins.

2 - Bell peppers can explode (tomatoes too)

3 - Our produce section has a monstrous fruit fly infestation

4 - Like humans, fruit grows gray hair as it gets older

5 - People who shop at grocery stores expect an awful lot from people who receive $7 an hour and no training.

6 - Our produce section is actually the fruit-and-vegetable equivalent of Hell, because it is where bad fruit goes after it dies.


What horrible, horrible things has employment taught you?

my list alone could fill a thread. I may write a book instead.

Well, my job has taught me a lot. I could now create my own amplifier and synthesizer for my guitar. I should be designing circuits for possible quantum computing chip experiments, but all I think about is how to make my guitar sound better and crazier.

Coffee breaks are meant to be 15 minutes and every other hour! And Paper futsal for all when the bosses step out for his meetings!

Envelope glue can be hallucinogenic in mass quantities.

That the reason clothes are made too small for most women is because sizes are tested on manquins, not people.

Today, innocently stocking produce at my local grocery store, I learned several horrible secrets I had no desire to ever *EVER* know...

1 - If we leave grapes out long enough, they're no longer expired or rotten.
They're raisins.

2 - Bell peppers can explode (tomatoes too)

3 - Our produce section has a monstrous fruit fly infestation

4 - Like humans, fruit grows gray hair as it gets older

5 - People who shop at grocery stores expect an awful lot from people who receive $7 an hour and no training.

6 - Our produce section is actually the fruit-and-vegetable equivalent of Hell, because it is where bad fruit goes after it dies.


What horrible, horrible things has employment taught you?

I work in produce as well. A few things I have learned.

1. Anything in the "Exotic Fruit Section" has been there since the Grand Opening.

2. It should not be recommended you wash the stuff you buy, it should be law.

3. Anytime you ask one of us besides the manager whether or not something is ripe, we are bullshitting. Personally, I hold it, press it and feel it while staring off like I'm thinking. All the while repeating what the sign above the item says to look for when buying the item.

4. None of us bother to wash the Romaine lettuce or any other green before stocking like the manual says. This might not seem so bad, but if you have ever washed them, then seen the black goo left behind in the tub, you wouldn't buy them.

5. If your finger doesn't go all the way through, someone will buy it.

That the reason clothes are made too small for most women is because sizes are tested on manquins, not people.

Where Do you work?

1. Anything in the "Exotic Fruit Section" has been there since the Grand Opening.

2. It should not be recommended you wash the stuff you buy, it should be law.

3. Anytime you ask one of us besides the manager whether or not something is ripe, we are bullshitting. Personally, I hold it, press it and feel it while staring off like I'm thinking. All the while repeating what the sign above the item says to look for when buying the item.

4. None of us bother to wash the Romaine lettuce or any other green before stocking like the manual says. This might not seem so bad, but if you have ever washed them, then seen the black goo left behind in the tub, you wouldn't buy them.

5. If your finger doesn't go all the way through, someone will buy it.

OMG YES

I use the thumb test... if the skin doesn't come off or puncture when I run my thumb over it, it's still good. Using this test alone, I had to trash about a fifth of our inventory.

Where Do you work?My mum's a fashion designer and I do the accounts and computer stuff at our family's Boutique. (No, that doesn't make me rich. Quite the opposite if you've ever looked at the books for a fashion house. Yikes!)

I should also add what I learned about making Slyders at White Castles.

If you order a fresh grill with no onions, we put straight cooking oil on it.

OMG YES

I use the thumb test... if the skin doesn't come off or puncture when I run my thumb over it, it's still good. Using this test alone, I had to trash about a fifth of our inventory.

Except with onions, not too much of our stock (ok, except for a box of Summer Squash that will haunt my memories forever, stick in my hand, and out comes some mushy yellowy-orange thing...*shudder*) is actually that bad. But for some reaosn my manager does not understand that we do not sell that many damn bags of onions. We don't even have to use the touch test, we use the smell test. If your nostrils flare and then your eyesight goes black, its time to throw it out.

Working at the Toronto Harbourfront during Cowboy Weekend, I have learned a valuable lesson

Americans do not like to change their money into Canadian dollars.

I got THREE $50 American bills in one day, with the expectation that I could make change

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

Working at the Toronto Harbourfront during Cowboy Weekend, I have learned a valuable lesson

Americans do not like to change their money into Canadian dollars.

I got THREE $50 American bills in one day, with the expectation that I could make change

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Should'a just given them canadian back, screwem over on the exchange rate :D

I could actually get away with working in produce, my family likes to farm ..random.. things.

You don't want to know what the water looks like before it is treated, and I mean non-waste water.

I work as a cashier in a grocery store...

Some things I've learned (though not all that secret):

1. People are stupid.
2. As Auranom said, customers expect WAY too much for $7/hr.
3. People are really stupid. :headbang:

I could list all my stupid customer stories, but that would be a whole thread unto itself.

That people really are that stupid.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add: My boss (a hippy of the olden days of hippydom) is a raging environmentalist, but our company goes through, on average, 2000 sheets of printer paper (and thats JUST the printer paper) each day and only five people work there.

The irony hurts like a water-balloon from a 42nd floor balcony.

As a cashier myself (usually), I'd like to add -

People will contemplate homicide if you fail to honor a coupon for 75 cents off on blueberries.

Chicken is always - always - bagged separately.

Working at the Toronto Harbourfront during Cowboy Weekend, I have learned a valuable lesson

Americans do not like to change their money into Canadian dollars.

I got THREE $50 American bills in one day, with the expectation that I could make change

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

yes they do. american dollar is stronger than canadian dollar.

1.00 USD United States Dollars = 1.20371 CAD Canada Dollars

as of today.

That people really are that stupid.

Yes.

Guy:"How much pounds of potatoes do I have?"
Jibea:"About 4 and a half"
Guy:"Are they ninety nine cents a pound?"
Jibea:"Yes"
Jibea:"That would be 4.39 please *shudders, from an evil word*"
Guy:"Isn't that a little expensive for potatoes?"

All he got was potatoes, at the price he wanted...how am I supposed to know how much potatoes should be?, besides, if he didn't want them, then he had no obligation to buy them.

That the legal system is completely rigged by whichever political party is in control.

As a cashier myself (usually), I'd like to add -

People will contemplate homicide if you fail to honor a coupon for 75 cents off on blueberries.

Chicken is always - always - bagged separately.

I remember this fondly, it was hilarious:

I scanned a lady's order right, she paid with her credit card, I put the slip through then out of the blue after the slip was done being whatever, she said:
"I thought the pretzels were 88 cents?" *(They rang up 1.49)
"You have to go to customer service for that (since the order was rung, and I couldn't do anything about it.)."
"I don't have the time. Void the whole order."
So I call my manager, then she says that since I already did the slip, she had to sign it, and would get a full refund. She refused.
She begins arguing with my manager,, and when I was leaving about ten minutes later, she was stiller arguing, and my manager called a higher up manager...if she just went to customer service then it would have been solved quicker (there was no one on line at the time.).

Working at the Toronto Harbourfront during Cowboy Weekend, I have learned a valuable lesson

Americans do not like to change their money into Canadian dollars.

I got THREE $50 American bills in one day, with the expectation that I could make change

RiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightSimple solution, exchange at par.

I have learned that for about 80% of bottled grocery items, generic and store brands are the exact same thing as the name brands, bottled in the same factory by the same people from the same materials with a different label slapped on. Nearly all of the remaining 20% come from the same factory and either have different bottles or slightly different ingredients (less water in the mix for the Progresso for example) as the other 80%.

Then there's this:

Customer: Aren't those frozen raspberries on sale?
Sigma: Uhh..no.
Customer: But there's a sign right next to them that says "Frozen Strawberries: $2.00/bag"
Sigma: Yeah...but you got RASPBERRIES. The sign says strawberries .
Customer: But the sign is right next to the raspberries....

Things I have learned that people think which are wrong

- If the most pointless thing in the store is on sale (in this case, sugar canes, don't ask me what the hell we were doing with them), people will buy it to save 40 cents.

- They think we actually tell our regional directors that the price of guavas is "outrageous"

- Someone in produce knows where organic milk is

- They wonder if the prices on the display are actually the true prices.

- We are not going to actually order stuff we don't carry anymore because you liked it.

- We care whether or not the "Farmer" (I work near a lot of corn and blueberry farms, so I get a lot of them) thinks our stock is good or not.

- That we believe the customer is always right.

I learned that you can store a gun inside a computer. That's right, where there's ample heat and electricity. :headbang:

I was an employee at a Kwik-e-Mart type store for a while, and what did I learn?

-Some products never get restocked, they just stay there until someone buys them. This was in 2002, I found items with tags that had the code for 1987 in the damn shop.

-The creepiest people come in twenty minutes before closing. It's like they don't want to come out during the day, so they wait until midnight.

-You can expense the same puny item repeatedly, until you have a small mound under the counter: Namely doorstops to put under the door when the old women fall and break their faces.

-When the mountainous woman comes in with the child lacking a shirt, keep the kid out of the ice cooler, because that's where he's going to go.

-The booze that doesn't sell goes in the "bargain bin." Which is basically glass bottles that get tossed into an old beat to hell shopping cart, this sometimes the bottles break, and we only clean up the glass, the booze stays on the the bottles.

-Asian dwarves are not happy people.

-Twinkies do not last forever.

Never, ever, even think about possibly swimming in a lake in New Jersey. EVER.

I warn you for your own safety.

That the functionality of an elementary school is entirely dependent on scotch tape. I remember peeling tape off of tape off of tape off of chalkboards just so I could wash the freaking chalkboard properly. I also learned that the child is one of the most destructive forces on the face of the planet. If a teacher isn't there, then anything in a classroom becomes immediately available for the usage of the janitor. This includes refrigerators and fans on hot days.

*edit* I thought I should mention that all items removed from a teacher's classroom are returned in the condition in which they were found before said teacher returns to the room.

Never, ever, even think about possibly swimming in a lake in New Jersey. EVER.

I warn you for your own safety.
Same goes for the Tennessee River or any other river within the boundaries of the state of Alabama, and yes, I have seen people swimming it, and no, I don't know why.

Never, ever, even think about possibly swimming in a lake in New Jersey. EVER.

I warn you for your own safety.
I thought that the entire state of New Jersey was a toxic waste dump?

Today, innocently stocking produce at my local grocery store, I learned several horrible secrets I had no desire to ever *EVER* know...

1 - If we leave grapes out long enough, they're no longer expired or rotten.
They're raisins.

2 - Bell peppers can explode (tomatoes too)

3 - Our produce section has a monstrous fruit fly infestation

4 - Like humans, fruit grows gray hair as it gets older

5 - People who shop at grocery stores expect an awful lot from people who receive $7 an hour and no training.

6 - Our produce section is actually the fruit-and-vegetable equivalent of Hell, because it is where bad fruit goes after it dies.


What horrible, horrible things has employment taught you?




$7/h? Wow, you make like...a quarter more than I do :eek:


Still, I'm a security guard so I get to boss you around :p

I thought that the entire state of New Jersey was a toxic waste dump?

it is ;)

$7/h? Wow, you make like...a quarter more than I do

Ahem... well to be honest... I make 7.50... but if it makes you feel any better, it's still more!

I thought that the entire state of New Jersey was a toxic waste dump? it is

And it's the best damn toxic waste dump in the Union!

And it's the best damn toxic waste dump in the Union!

Damn straight! Don't mess with the Jersey!

Just avoid the lakes. For Gods sake, stay away!

I learned that a US government agency, no matter how prestigious or respected it may be, is still a cesspool of incompetence and wasted resources.

Just avoid the lakes. For Gods sake, stay away!

And the mutants. Avoid the brain-eating radioactive Jersey zombie mutants. Ooh! But stay for the tomatoes!

My job has taught me to check, recheck, and check again before giving someone their prescribed medications. Oh, and to write everything down, and keep anything that will act as proof that it wasn't you that gave the wrong drugs, but your not always so competent co-worker.

OK. I've had a few jobs in my lifetime. Still haven't learned anything important; however... First. From the Deli:
I learned that: Although balogna SHOULD fly better through the air than a slice of cheese when thrown frisbie-style... (being round and flying-saucer shape) it does NOT. The square cheese slices fly much better. Perhaps because the cheese is thicker and keeps it's shape; while bologna, ham, turkey, pork loin.. even liverwurst.. tends to flop over in the air and spoil the aerodynamics of the air flow.
Hard Salami, however is a close second.
I haven't done any testing on Souse loaf/ aka Head cheese. OR fried chicken.. probably because they fired me... I can't imagine why.

If I happen to learn anything else in my (ha ha..) "carrer"... I'll post it.

thanks, and may llamas spit thier good fortune
into the butt crack of your destny.

I use to work at Six Flags Magic Mountain, there I learned to never let overweight parents onto a kiddy ride, and that ride operators are responsible for cleaning up puke.

Children assume that if you are babysitting them, you are some sort of giant toy.


Incidentally, while I don't work there, our local grocery store ... the peanut butter in the small jar is more expensive than the peanut butter in the large jar. Same brand and everything.

Incidentally, while I don't work there, our local grocery store ... the peanut butter in the small jar is more expensive than the peanut butter in the large jar. Same brand and everything.

So it is with the 20 oz. bottle of Pepsi and the 1.5 liter bottle of Pepsi... such is the mystery of the grocery store...

hmm...horrible secrets of being a nanny...

There are times when a four year old will shit on the floor because their mommy isn't paying enough attention to them. And if it happens, I "never noticed."

Little kids really like kraftwerk and mission of burma.

On overnights, I let them jump on the trampoline in their jammies so they'll go to sleep faster.

If you send me out with your credit card to buy groceries, i'm buying cat food and rice krispy treats that aren't finding their way into their house.

There are a surprising amount of people who will leave their sex toys in plain sight, like on top of the washing machine or on the kitchen counter.

Some of the most truly frightening people hire nannies, I swear...

Some of the most truly frightening people hire nannies, I swear...

It's probably better for the kids than just letting the parents raise them then...

It's probably better for the kids than just letting the parents raise them then...

I try pretty hard not to be judgemental about how people raise their children, especially without having any of my own, but i'll be damned when someone elses kid starts calling me mom and there isn't something wrong. There are a lot of people who think that if they can afford a such a status symbol as nanny, who think that the bulk of their responsibility to their children is done. I don't recommend the job.

So it is with the 20 oz. bottle of Pepsi and the 1.5 liter bottle of Pepsi... such is the mystery of the grocery store...
They rely on you not being able to do math.

The wonderful world of live sound:

If it isn't meant to move, and does, use gaffa tape.
If it is meant to move, and doesn't, use WD40.


***

Picking up the end of the frayed cable coming out of the 800w amp with your bare hand is a bad idea.

***

Musicians who say 'my lead is definitely working' are invariably the ones with the leads that aren't working.

***

30% of people are deaf, 30% of people are drunk, 30% of people have no taste, and thus only 10% of people actually notice when you do a shit mix for a band.

***

The flashier the gear, the shitter the talent.

***

If you've just done something really stupid, start pretending to do something incredibly technical and hideously complex in order to 'fix' it while simultaneously hitting the single button which will actually sort the problem out.


***

It is a much more pleasent thing to stick your hand into a blocked toilet and to fish out the broken parts of the toilet bowl, so that you can Araldite it back together, than to actually have to a fit an entirely new toilet.

I learned that you can steal anything on a School's Surplus computer items list as long as subtract whatever amount of items you took.

The less someone donates, the more perks they want.

gravity is stronger over dirty pizaria floors than anywhere else on earth.

the dirt on the pizza dough that fell and landed on the ground counts as ingredients.

half the protien in peperoni pizzas comes from the tiny bugs caught in the dough after the required slam on dirty floor by hands you are required to not wash.

If you never wash your hands, even after using the bathroom, and you resume handling the pizza dough with your bare hands, nobody will care.

anyone want pizza now?

That the person in the warehouse that handles the food to put the price tag on it is sometimes the same person who cleans the toilets and takes out the nasty garbage cans.

That person is me.

I use a different set of gloves for cleaning and food duties. My predecessor did not, and much of the food he handled was not in a sealed package.

If a box of food fell on the floor and broke open, it's still all good as long as the USDA inspector doesn't see it.

In some food warehouses, including ones that are permitted to ship alcoholic beverages, most of the employees have prison records.

If, when re-packing packages of food into the larger cardboard box after sticking the price tags on, it is acceptable to use a small sledgehammer to make the box fight right.

If, when handling a bagged Tilapia fish, the said fish comes out of the bag and goes behind one of the machines, the best thing to do is pry it out, wipe off the dust and grime with a paper towel and put it back in the bag.

how about you guys eat some pizza from the pizzaria where I learned about my dirty little secrets?

The flashier the gear, the shitter the talent.

***

If you've just done something really stupid, start pretending to do something incredibly technical and hideously complex in order to 'fix' it while simultaneously hitting the single button which will actually sort the problem out.



Solid. I second all of that.


Shooting a film-six difficult takes and the last one was amazing and heartfelt and -- camera wasn't running. Actually BSed the actor about his performance, saying I wanted more and then turned the camera on and got it at the seventh. Still haven't told him the truth.

Shooting a film-six difficult takes and the last one was amazing and heartfelt and -- camera wasn't running. Actually BSed the actor about his performance, saying I wanted more and then turned the camera on and got it at the seventh. Still haven't told him the truth.
I've actually done this back when I studied film... only to end up taping over the previous scene.... the only good take...

It's snowing outside, heavily, and the plows are working as fast as they can to clear a clean path for a plane (which is delayed arriving), and many passengers wonder why the flight isn't leaving ontime.

It's Thundering and Lightening outside, the plane is full of people, and the flight gets delayed because the ground staff, which are working next to large metal tubes, get called off the ramp for safety. People get upset that we're not moving.

It's foggy, rainy, windy at an airport (one that the plane is going to) and there are ATC delays for flow control. People ask why the plane is delayed going to the destination and say 'it's just a little rain'. What they don't realize is the planes have to be spaced further apart because the runways become wet and planes can hydroplane down the runway.

A flight is delayed coming in, the monitor behind the agent shows exactly when the plane is due in, 4:55pm, and the flight is still shown scheduled departure of 5:00pm. People ask the agent if the 5:00pm departure is still good.

In flight, after taking a few meal preferences and a food item is all taken, you inform the next passenger that all you have left is the next item. They tell you that they wanted the other item, but you inform them again that all you have left is the other item. The ask you what other choice do you have....so, you tell them, EAT or NOT...it's like they expect the Flight Crew to just make up on the spot food and deliver it....at 30,000 feet in the sky :headbang:

I could go on and on about more stupid things, but it would be it's own thread.

I've actually done this back when I studied film... only to end up taping over the previous scene.... the only good take...


Ha ha! I'm sadly remembering my one experience making a movie...it was to help a friend's sister with her project for some college course. She was doing a modern day Oedipus Rex, and lucky me I got to be Jocasta!

There was a scene where I'm supposed to be complaining of various age related infirmities and when I got to the line 'my goddamn hemorrhoids' the entire cast would burst out laughing and could not stop. I think it took nearly 30 takes to complete the scene.

My regular job was as a massage therapist at a day spa. When people think you are actually working at a brothel, the things they say to you are laughable. I actually got to ban a client for life. Fun! :rolleyes: We also had a couples treatment that involved a long session in the Japanese style bath we had at the spa. Dude, you'd think these people would be a little discreet, but NO! They'd be doing the horizontal tango right there in the tub, and eww, guess who had to drain the water afterwards if they forgot? :eek:

I learned this while I worked at a brewery, and while it's not horrible, I think it's interesting. Hops, which give beer its flavor and the lupulin which helps intoxicate you, are male and female plants, but only the females are used in beer, and if they are contaminated by the males, their properties change, so the only hops used in beer are virginal females.

I learned this while I worked at a brewery, and while it's not horrible, I think it's interesting. Hops, which give beer its flavor and the lupulin which helps intoxicate you, are male and female plants, but only the females are used in beer, and if they are contaminated by the males, their properties change, so the only hops used in beer are virginal females.
You do that with another enjoyable plant for potency.



Guess.

Ha ha! I'm sadly remembering my one experience making a movie...it was to help a friend's sister with her project for some college course. She was doing a modern day Oedipus Rex, and lucky me I got to be Jocasta!

There was a scene where I'm supposed to be complaining of various age related infirmities and when I got to the line 'my goddamn hemorrhoids' the entire cast would burst out laughing and could not stop. I think it took nearly 30 takes to complete the scene.

Same film-same actor:

He was supposed to eat some fries that where too hot, but I didn't have PAs, so the fries where bought 5 hours before he ate them. Took 5 takes. And he didn't like me very much for a while. But he did work with me again, so it wasn't all bad (though he waited till went to school before he did....)

Ha ha! I'm sadly remembering my one experience making a movie...it was to help a friend's sister with her project for some college course. She was doing a modern day Oedipus Rex, and lucky me I got to be Jocasta!

There was a scene where I'm supposed to be complaining of various age related infirmities and when I got to the line 'my goddamn hemorrhoids' the entire cast would burst out laughing and could not stop. I think it took nearly 30 takes to complete the scene.

My regular job was as a massage therapist at a day spa. When people think you are actually working at a brothel, the things they say to you are laughable. I actually got to ban a client for life. Fun! :rolleyes: We also had a couples treatment that involved a long session in the Japanese style bath we had at the spa. Dude, you'd think these people would be a little discreet, but NO! They'd be doing the horizontal tango right there in the tub, and eww, guess who had to drain the water afterwards if they forgot? :eek:That would freak me out sufficiantly...

Working with animals at an educational facility has taught me this:

Volunteers will always find some way to not do what they're supposed to, and when explaining animals they will make up random "facts".

You always say that sick animals who are on the brink of death are "just sleeping"

People are stupid enough to ask where the bathroom is when there's 40 illuminated signs located throughout the facility pointing directly to the bathroom (one time this lady asked me where the bathroom was after I had JUST EXITED IT AND WE WERE BOTH RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUCKING DOORS!)

Never let a child hold a starfish as they will run off with it and you will have to chase them around for 30 minutes as they slowly kill the starfish from lack of water.

Never hold an adult male Yellow Bellied Slider Turtle as they will scratch the SHIT out of you with their razor sharp claws.

Never stick our hands in a tank filled with 3 different species of sting ray that need their stingers clipped while simultaniously attempting to talk to someone.

Always get someone to feed the sharks as all the visitors will flock to the shark tank, thus giving you extra free time.

I work as a Security Guard at a Mall.

I have learned that Mall Janitors are quite possibly the worst people that you can get to clean anything.

People will have sex no matter who's around. They will also do it anywhere.
IE, I was working the Night Shift and these two people were driving around the parking lot and I was walking around outside. I know they saw me and they stopped there vehicle so I was walking towards it and they Started doing it even though they knew I was coming to tell them to leave. I mean really people.

People are jerks to Security Guards even though we can arrest them for pretty much anything even if they are just annoying us. I learned we can arrest people for singing: Causing a Disturbance.

From working in a zoo:
Kids are the dirtiest little creatures anywhere - parents will sit idly by while kids throw wrappings and papers away, especially when there are bins EVERYWHERE

signs like "don't feed the animals, they're fed enough and overeating shortens their life" mean NOTHING

sign like don't stick you hand through the tiger bars/fence/grid mean nothing.

From working in a Brooklyn Deli:
Cockroaches get everywhere, including the muffin dough and in the cardboard boxes that hold the disposable coffee cups.

No dogs allowed means nothing

You are not a person - you are a machine

Working in a classroom:
Kids will always test your boundaries, and then go one step further.

Teachers bitch about all the kids in the staff room - political correctness? What? (e.g. "oh you've got 2a now? Oh that's got X in it, she's right little bitch...)

All the rumours that are going around the school? Teachers know every single one of them.

There are a lot of bad teachers out there, who really don't give a crap. Luckily there are some brilliant ones too, just not as many.

That the reason clothes are made too small for most women is because sizes are tested on manquins, not people.
Too small? Damn, most clothing are too big for me.

My job has taught me the many horrors of the government. The many lenghths the FDA will go to forge scientific studies just to justify taxing a products to kingdom come because it is "hazardous".

Working as a DJ/live PA:
In most clubs, the only drug dealers allowed to sell their wares inside give a portion of their take to either a crooked security guard, the manager or the owner.

Thos that don't get busted.

Some fucktards will try to steal the records out of your bin while your playing.

Most Sound Techs don't know shit.

The stories about what goes on in the back rooms are ALL true, though not a constant.

Every single DJ and live PA act has an affliction known as "The Creeps" This means they always turn the up volume at least one notch during their performance...even if this means they have to turn it down first, because it doesn't get louder than MAX. no matter how hard you try.

Working as a Teacher's Assistant in a Foundry @ a university art dept.:

If you have enough money, you can get into any school you want, no matter how stupid you are. Even Princeton.

Its relatively easy to get a hold of Cyanide

Assholes will steal the Cyanide to use as ingredients in their Meth lab.

Professors and rich kids are the oes most likely not to pay their bill for materials.

Stupid people shouldn't breed.

It is remarkably easy to liberate art supplies for your own use. Often, this is expected of you.

The fabrication areas of any decent Fine Arts dept. are some of the most dangerous places you'll ever set foot in because for some reason no ever thinks to do a proper saftey inspection. The number of stoned people is also remarkably high and leads to even further danger to those around the stoner.

Adults will often expect to be lead by the hand/ have you do everything complicated for them, just as if they were toddlers.

If things aren't labeled extremly clearly, people will mistake Sulphuric Hydrochloride for Apple Juice. :eek:

You'd think if someone dropped a £2000 TV at the warehouse/distribution depot from several metres it would get scrapped right? wrong, it gets put on the next lorry and off goes to the shop and noone says a word. This happened many times to me and the other guys at my last job.

I work in a camera shop - here are some things I learned.

1. The expiration dates on films don't mean shit. They'll be fine for another 10 years.

2. People who use APS (Advantix) film don't know jack shit about photography.

Staff at McDonalds rarely spit in burgers, but they do pick up the ones they drop on the floor and put them back in their box.

This is much much worse if you know what the state of the floor is like at the end of a cleaning cycle...

Something I learnt in heavy industry, in live music, in sales, and trasnport....

Drugs are baad, mmkay?

People believe that all employees of a fast food chain are immediately granted two powers:

1)ESP: no ma'am I did not assume that was no pickles
2)Psychiatric training: no sir, I do not know why you gamble so much, and I deifnately do not know how you can stop.

Working in "homeland security" (Before there was such a Department)

#1 Anyone with 2 brain cells and a little creativity can get a firearm, knife or explosives onto an airplane and/or most “secure” locations. Even after 9/11 this is still the case. (Corollary - 99.9% of "terrorists" are idiots)

#2 Anyone with 2 brain cells and a little creativity can shut down US commerce and most of its infrastructure for less than $5,000 in materials. (Corollary - 99.9% of "terrorists" are idiots)

#3 Anyone with 2 brain cells and a little creativity can manufacture fully automatic firearms cheaper and with less legal hassle than smuggling/stealing/buying them. (Corollary - 99.9% of criminals/"terrorists" are idiots)

#4 Any more detail than given above will get me sent to prison for 15-20 years…. :eek:

Um...you really dont want to know...you probably would never EVER fly again...

people lose all sense of reality when shipping packages
-they expect a package to be driven from the east
coast to the west coast in 2 days-
please...remember the laws of physics

-people actually ship dirty underwear, along with other
things i don't like touching, far to often-
please...wash things before they're shipped

:rolleyes:

My work in Summer Camp has taught me that Boy Scouts on Camp Staff are just as human as normal people, only that they're really good at hiding it :D
While this secret is "horrible" it isn't necessarily "bad"...

From working in a Brooklyn Deli:
Cockroaches get everywhere, including the muffin dough and in the cardboard boxes that hold the disposable coffee cups.




I worked in a Brooklyn Deli on 86th St and 4th Ave. Tell me you worked in Star Deli ?!?

My regular job was as a massage therapist at a day spa. When people think you are actually working at a brothel, the things they say to you are laughable. I actually got to ban a client for life. Fun! :rolleyes: We also had a couples treatment that involved a long session in the Japanese style bath we had at the spa. Dude, you'd think these people would be a little discreet, but NO! They'd be doing the horizontal tango right there in the tub, and eww, guess who had to drain the water afterwards if they forgot? :eek:

You have to skim it first, right?

Um...you really dont want to know...you probably would never EVER fly again...
You wouldn't happen to be a Striking Northwest Mechanic would you? :rolleyes: :p :D

One thing I learned about working in a Youth and Children's house run by a catholic social institution was that we didn't pick up the phone unless we coincidentally happened to be in the room when it rang, or it rang in the office hours when we were scheduled to pick it up.
There were endless cycles of us calling them back when they weren't in and them responding to our message when we were busy... :p

What horrible, horrible things has employment taught you?

The horrible, horrible things that I've learned can be boiled down to these principals:
1) People are very, very stupid.
2) Laurence Johnston Peter's "Peter Principal" was optomistic.

Working as a DJ/live PA:

Most Sound Techs don't know shit.

Working as a a sound tech:

Most DJs don't know shit.

People will become irrate to be IDed when buying beer at a Chuckee Cheeses.

For proof of the idiocy of College Students:
I worked at a college resturant for many many years. One of my main jobs was to make sure everything was stocked for the customers, mostly the drinks, glasses, silverware, etc.
Well, one Saturday there was a water main break. no water anywhere on campus or the neighboring town. As all the drinks at the dinning hall were mixes that the machines added water to so they tasted right, none worked (with the exception of the milk.) At first people complained that the soda and juice tasted odd. After putting up a sign that it was broken, they still tried to use it. So, I had to get the key and lock the machine. They still tried to use it.

Two geniuses decided to go to the closed section of the dinning hall, as maybe the water was working 20 feet away in the same building.

One student came to us and complained that the college should close because she couldn't shower. We were dinning hall employees making 5.15 an hour.

I also learned how stupid the employees can be. I worked with one guy who when someone ordered a hamburger would take the burger out of the freezer, completely uncooked, put it on a bun and hand it to the guy. Another girl I worked with if someone ordered the same burger would find me, ask me what to do, watch me put the burger on and stand there watching it. When it burned, she would say it burned because I never told her to take it off the grill.

I also learned how stupid people can be. I worked with one guy who when someone ordered a hamburger would take the burger out of the freezer, completely uncooked, put it on a bun and hand it to the guy. Another girl I worked with if someone ordered the same burger would find me, ask me what to do, watch me put the burger on and stand there watching it. When it burned, she would say it burned because I never told her to take it off the grill.

When I worked in a cafe I had to teach seventeen and eighteen year olds how to make instant coffee and how to make tea with a teabag.

My brother's job has taught me what morons are responsible for developing life-saving medicines, and what safety breaches they commit. ;)

Never, ever, even think about possibly swimming in a lake in New Jersey. EVER.

I warn you for your own safety.
Dude, that's why we have an ocean. The lakes are strictly for recreational boating and fishing.

I thought that the entire state of New Jersey was a toxic waste dump?
No, just the area near the turnpike. We don't like to encourage out of staters to pull off the highway and visit. We perfer that they just keep driving through.

It's snowing outside, heavily, and the plows are working as fast as they can to clear a clean path for a plane (which is delayed arriving), and many passengers wonder why the flight isn't leaving ontime.

It's Thundering and Lightening outside, the plane is full of people, and the flight gets delayed because the ground staff, which are working next to large metal tubes, get called off the ramp for safety. People get upset that we're not moving.

It's foggy, rainy, windy at an airport (one that the plane is going to) and there are ATC delays for flow control. People ask why the plane is delayed going to the destination and say 'it's just a little rain'. What they don't realize is the planes have to be spaced further apart because the runways become wet and planes can hydroplane down the runway.

A flight is delayed coming in, the monitor behind the agent shows exactly when the plane is due in, 4:55pm, and the flight is still shown scheduled departure of 5:00pm. People ask the agent if the 5:00pm departure is still good.

In flight, after taking a few meal preferences and a food item is all taken, you inform the next passenger that all you have left is the next item. They tell you that they wanted the other item, but you inform them again that all you have left is the other item. The ask you what other choice do you have....so, you tell them, EAT or NOT...it's like they expect the Flight Crew to just make up on the spot food and deliver it....at 30,000 feet in the sky :headbang:

I could go on and on about more stupid things, but it would be it's own thread.
So I take it you're in the flight crew, correct? or the captain?

My job has taught me that life - or rather society - really is like high school - except when it is like junior high or the Jerry Springer Show. People in general seem more and more likely to call the police for any given reason. The callers seem surprised that they can't cancel police intervention (i.e. drop the charges) once they have cooled down.

I have also learned that the control of one political party over another has very little effect on our legal system. Your local judges have WAY more impact on your life than do the Supreme Court justices. I have not had many cases where a Supreme Court decision controlled the central issue involved.

I've worked as a bill collector for many years.
Here is what I've learned.
1) Everybody lies constantly and about everything.
2) If you hang up the phone the problem gets worse, it does not go away.
3) Ignore the collection calls on your caller id at your peril.
4) If you don't pay for your car it will cost you 5x's more than if you did pay for it. (and you won't get to drive it)
5) In most places they can garnish everything you make over the Federal minimum wage.
6) The repomen you see on TV are nice ones, most aren't in fact the best way to think a repoman is as a more selective form of car thief.
7) If You skip we will find you and or whatever you financed.
8) No matter how stupid you think people are, they are in fact WORSE!

From working at a pizza shop:

-Getting an 'excellent' hygine rating is all about having signs posted all over the kitchen explaining cleaning procedures, whether or not you implement them properly doesn't matter.

-The ETA times we give out are mostly bullshit. I've delivered pizzas that arrived 12 minutes after the call was made when they were quoted 45, and delivered pizzas horribly late, too.

-The employees of a pizza shop are mostly boy racers, drug users or both.

-Playing metal very loudly on the stereo will stop almost everybody from coming into the shop on lunchtime shifts.

I work in a special needs school serving emotionally ill children. I've learned that people will give us money for things like large screen plasma telivisions and play stations, but if you suggest they pay the teacher assistants more than 8.50 an hour there's no money to be had.

i learned a few things waitressing at a hotel restaurant/bar. generally the 3 second rule applies, if a you send your food/drink back and aren't too nice about it then expect what you get back is messed with.... oh, and DON'T order the mushroom soup, the rumours about it tend to be true if you've heard them.....

From working at a med malpractice law firm
-Doctor's seem unable to write legible notes
-Nurses are unable to read these notes
-Doctors and Nurses are just as stupid as everyone else
-You get what you pay for

After reading about the cases the firm has had I am more scared of going to a hospital then getting injured

Edit: Where is the soilent green is people option on the poll?

As a manager at a local pizza shop, one tend to learn many secrets about the job.

1) Customers are right about 30% of the time.

2) Customers that have less income tip more, and vice versa.

3) We may be a manager, but we sure as hell are not paid as much as drivers (they get wage plus pretty good tips, whereas we do ten times more work at a set wage. Tips are rare.) A manager can make $8/hr, work 8 hours ($64 per shift), and drivers will make minimum wage, and get tips, and leave with $100-150 at the end of the night. If you're going to work for a pizza shop, deliver pizzas. It's better pay.

4) Drivers don't do so horribly in tips as many are led to believe.

5) If you ordered a specific pizza, nine times out of ten, you'll get it. Occassionally we screw up. And don't try to prank us. We know all.

6) Customers are stupid.
Customer: "I ordered from your store an hour ago! Where's my food?"
Me: "Sir, you did not order tonight. There is no record of you ever having ordered today, or in the past on this computer. Now, if you'll be kind to tell me the nearest major intersection, I'll tell you which store you most likely did call."
Customer: "I know I ordered from you tonight!"
Me: "Sir, I'm the only one answering phones tonight, and I've yet to recieve a call that was taken incorrectly or hung up on. Excuse me while I go contact this other store to see if they have your order."
(Five minutes later)
Me: "Sir, your food is waiting for pickup at the other store, as per your desire state to pick it up."
Customer: "But I ordered from you!"
Me: "Call the other store. Have a lovely day!" *hang up*

Customers are stupid.

7) Employee: "How do I make a pepperoni pizza?" (with all the stuff in front of them already.)

8) Inventory CAN be cheated. It's a matter of knowing how.

9) The numbers at the end of the night on the paperwork can be cheated as well, but once again, it's a matter of knowing how.

10) Just because your order is three minutes later than the delivery time stated, DOES NOT mean you're going to get the order free. I actually had one family take their turns ranting at me on the phone. I walked away, left the phone on the counter and made some pizzas. I could hear them clearly, sadly.

11) Some people, despite clearly able to speak English, cannot comprehend what is spoken to them in the same language. Allow me to demonstrate:

"Thank you for calling (insert pizza shop name here), I'm sorry we're closed now."
Customer: a) "Yeah, I'd like to order..." b) "Oh you're closed?" (Me thinking: Nah, I just thought I'd piss you off) c) "Why are you closed?"

EDIT: On a recent food safety requalification test I had to take there was a question about cockroaches.
"What are signs of cockroaches present in the workplace?"
a) rice sized pellets.
b) food eaten away at.
c) Some other answer that was ridiculous.

Nevertheless, none of the answers stated: "If you see a cockroach."

Or another favorite from the same test:

"What do you do when you see flies around a dumpster?"
One answer was "Build a fence around it."

I don't know how many of you have been to a BSA summer camp, but it best compares to a duck on a pond. From the surface, it looks like its running smoothly accross, causing only the faintest ripple, but underneath... those legs are CHURNING!

- Camp staff is just as vulgar, has the same amount of drug users, smokers, and alcoholics as normal society beneath the facade
- While they may not show it, staffers are constantly at eachothers throats and hate eachothers guts enough to do some really mean things...
- Camp safety inspections are about learning by heart what they want to hear, hiding the things they're not supposed to see, and promising to correct anything they do find
- In order not to piss off one or two religious fanatics, you need to you need to tailor out anything sexual, obscene, or sometimes satirical out of a campfire program. Not just the staff program, the stuff the campers want to show needs to be screened too
- Most counselors break the rules they have (archery, shooting sports, aquatics, "outdoor skills" [scoutcraft], etc.) once the scouts are out of sight

From my time as teaching assistant in a college freshman Physics class:

Students will write a 2 page essay about how they ran out of time on a test, despite the essay taking at least 5 times as long as the problem should have.

Students will come by at midnight, 4 hours after 500 of them finished taking a test wondering if it is graded yet.

Students will get nonsensical answers, like proving 0=1 and not think anything of it.

Students will come to you at the end of the semester and say " I need a b to keep my scholorship, what must I do to get it?" My usual answer, invent a time machine and go back and do the work you needed to do 3 months ago!

Dont mess with the people in giant cartoon character costumes. In many cases they tape some pins to one paw and shake hands with the other. If a kid starts messing them around they shake with the hand of pins

Working at a Starbucks

You don't really make the coffee. It comes from a machine, where it is already made. It makes me mad when people come along, ask for their coffee, I start it up, and wait there, and they just stare at me like "Are you just ignoring me?". Come on, I don't get paid much, and now you give me a look, making me feel like I am inferior.

From my time working at a grocery store:

- Managers will give you humanly impossible tasks (like carrying ten 12-packs of Coke up a staircase) and expect it to be done in half the time it takes you to get to them.
- Grocery stores are WAY too easy to steal from. I jacked enough food in a week to last me an entire month.
- The store manager does shit. The biggest work I've seen them do is walk around and talk to some random old lady.
- There's always at least 1 person that will give you such a vague description that it makes you want to throw them into a trash compactor. Example: "Do you carry the red thing in the bottles that you mix with other products to make the stuff that the potato things are dipped in? I think it's called (insert worst pronunciation of "Ketchup" you can think of)."
- There's always at least 1 person that will argue with you and tell you that you don't know where anything is when they ask above question.
- If you're not a manager, you are a machine capable of doing the work of 20 men.
- NOTHING IS EVER FRESH
- The conveyor belt that goes up from the basement to the back room is a fun ride when you're in a box originally made for giant toilet paper.
- If you're called to the back room, run for your life. You are either being lectured or are about to receive the biggest workload known to man.

Here's a few things I learned about delivering newspapers:

- There are people who get mad for no reason. Example: "You stepped (once, with my toes because I tripped) on my lawn! YOU'RE KILLING MY GRASS! SON OF A BITCH! NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT I'M GOING TO CHASE YOU DOWN"
- There's always a minimum of 2 households on EVERY route that have gigantic German Shepherds/Huskies/Dobermans sitting in front of the open front door with the screen door barely closed, just waiting for you to show up so they can attack the door.
- Nobody actually reads small newspapers. Ever. I've seen plenty of them in the garbage.
- If you miss a delivery (or a month of them), nobody will notice. Ever.
- If the people that hired you tell you that people will come to check if you've delivered your papers, they're bullshitting. Nobody would pay someone to do that, and nobody in their right mind would want to get up from their regular job at the newspaper to go check if a 14-year-old has delivered the weekly crap.
- Someone complains. You spit in their newspaper. Nobody complains again.

And that's about it.

Most cashiers have probably suffered an end-of-shift pile-on, where you turn off your light and a relentless stream of customers ignore it, figuring that since you're still doing groceries, you must be open. They confuse the light being off, perhaps, with the light being... say... on?

Once though, an old woman pulled her cart into the lane next to me and began unloading onto the conveyor belt. The light was off. The register was empty. I told the woman, "Ma'am, that lane is closed." She ignored me and continued unpacking. I figured she'd realize it eventually.

She unloaded the contents of her cart onto the conveyor, then waited patiently. Finally she turned to me and asked with that pissed-off Hey-where's-the-cashier-Dynasty's-on-in-ten-minutes-I've-got-to-get-home-and-put-these-cashews-away voice, "Is this lane open?"

I of course had no choice but to respond in the sickeningly polite tone of a cashier losing all respect for the elderly, "No, but I'll take you on One."

I'm a proofreader. And that includes erotic literature. And that includes...I doubt anyone really wants to know the horrible secrets my job has taught me. I certainly wish I hadn't learned them.

From working at a med malpractice law firm
-Doctor's seem unable to write legible notes
I thoguht that was a requirement for a medical degree...


After reading about the cases the firm has had I am more scared of going to a hospital then getting injured
After going to the local hospital more than once, me too. They have no idea how to handle paper work. If you ever find yourself at the Huntsville Hospital, ask for copies of whatever paperwork you may ever possibly need and carry it around on your person, it is the only way anyone will ever see it, because God knows they don't know how to move it to any other department.

Working as a a sound tech:

Most DJs don't know shit.

I agree completely. :p

Fortunately the audience is genrally waaay more clueless than either the DJ or Sound Tech, and don't know the difference.

But expereincing a club with a great Sound Tech, good sound system with a DJ who really knows his stuff (ie; Stacey Pullen, Ed Rush) is real eye (ear) opener.

From my time in HVAC...

- Sheet Metal was invented by the Devil himself
- Never use left handed tin snips with your right hand
- Always wear a hard-hat on a commercial job
- If you never learned to whistle be prepared for severe mocking on the worksite.
- Steel-Toed boots are also known as feet guillotine

Now it's time for my input...

This little segment is titled:

WHAT KRYOZERKIA'S VARIOUS JOBS HAVE TAUGHT HER!

Newspaper delivery - actually, delivering the widely-distrubuted "Pennysaver" in Ottawa
People don't seem to care that you don't make exceptions
Every person has different drop off instructions
If you walk on their laws, it's the end of the world
Anything left in your way is not their problem
It's not as light as looks

Salvation Army - you know, those poor saps at Christmas time who ding the bells
You're fair game to be hit on my Playas
You can't tell anyone off
Job orientation is designed to conflict with your lack thereof religious beliefs
This is the job no teenager wants
You had to take this job because your cousin is doing the same job
Your boss is a Baptist Minister and the only thing you have in common is the fact that you're both living, breathing humans
Dinging that bell does irritate you
It is also a good way to piss off the boys bringing in the carts
If you're stationed in Wal-Mart and you're there often enough, mooch with the manager...

Telemarketting - I was desperate
No matter how much you hate it, at least you're NOT on commission
Wow, I've gone 2 days without a sale and I have my job still!
The bosses with foreign names are the most anal
The boss who wears a t-shirt and looks bored won't ride your ass for lack of sales
They are the same boss who will let you pick what you want to sell
People believe that yelling at telemarketers will make us go away
People will threaten us, even if we're not in the same country
People are so stupid that they'll agree to order, and then when your supervisor confirms the order, they change their mind AFTER your supervisor has the credit card number
The easiest thing to sell over the phone is newspaper subscriptions and even easier, re-subscriptions
Canadians are much more polite than Americans when answering the phone
Americans will scream at you; Canadians will tell you no thanks

Marketting Research - Telephone surveys
No matter how many times you tell people you're just calling for their opinion, they still think you're trying to sell them something even after you thank them for their time and you're preparing to say 'goodbye'
Some people really don't like giving their opinions and yet, they'll tell you what they think if they're in a bad mood
More people will respond to a survey about casino usage more than medical
Unlike telemarketting, you have to know how to use a phone
Old people really love it when you call them; they just don't know when to shut-up

CNE - Canadian National Exhibition
Carnies are really the seediest people in the whole place
The guys who operate the rides really needs to finish high school
If you can't count your money, you deserve to be stiffed
No matter how much you plea, you can't have that big bear!
It's called fishing and you use this rod! Yes, like that and no that can was a test one!
You can't put your stupid children on the ledge
People seem to think that a crying kid will get them a better prize
The fattest women seem to travel in hordes
These women have at least three to five children with them
People will try to pay for a $1 game with a $50 bill... -.-;
These people get pissy because I don't have change for a fifty
There is always at least one really loud carnie with a microphone nearby
People are slobs!
If you look bored enough, people flock to your game

Retail - Athlete's World/Bata; Theatrix
Children are spoiled brats
Girls who travel in flocks are the bane of salespeople
When it says no drinks or food...
Why do people insist on bringing their fucking dogs in?
No, that sale sign doesn't apply to any other rack but that one
People are cheap bastards, even though they are willing to waste money stuff they don't need
People with the worse B/O try on the most clothes
Retail stores play the worse music!
Retail chain stores aren't allowed to play good music
They all play the same kind of music
Managers will give you the most trivial jobs to keep you from being to breath for a minute
If you're luck, you could have a really cool manager, who on a slow day, brings you an ice cream sandwich because you've previously been his/her errand-person

Lab Monitor/TA
You can't loose your temper, but people are allowed to insult you
People at the college level have got to be illiterate because they can't read the sign that says no food or drinks in the lab
People are little bastards until they need your help
The bigger the group, the bigger the attitude
People seem to have forgotten what a "Library" is
There is only one comfortable chair
No matter how hard you try, you still get stuck with doing manual labour even though you're hired strictly to help students with their work
At all costs, you have to pretend NOT to know PERL/CGi or any programming language, that way you're not the one who fucks up the other person's work
People assume that because you're a TA, you can also speak French...

Lessons the fast food industry has taught me:
-Nothing healthy ever comes out of the back of fast-food place, so don't complain when you gain weight (and trust me, people complain).
-The guys who make the food in the back also clean the bathrooms and the deep-fryer, usually without washing hands in between.
-There are always people who will come to the drive-thru half an hour after the place is closed, and honk like we're slacking off.
-There is always a percentage of your customers that have their own list of things they want to eat that we don't sell, and they get real pissed when we tell them we don't have it.
-There is an equal number of customers that have twelve step instructions for making some order "special". The guys in the back usually add spit for these customers.
-The guys who work in the back entertain themselves with such games as "Bet you that you won't slam your head in the fridge door" and "Watch what happens when I microwave this".

Things I learned from working in fast food:
- The conversation in the back is all about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. No joke.
- If you're working up front, you think the people in the back are chimps.
- If you work in the back, you think the people up front need to relax.
- If you work in the front, you have to constantly remind the guys in the back to keep it down when they're swearing/talking about drugs/talking about anal sex etc.
- If you want free food, cook it by "accident" and "hope that someone buys it" before holding time is up (eight minutes). "Wow! No one ordered a veggie burger for a whole eight minutes! It'd be a shame to waste it..."
- The ugly people work in the back. The ugly people and the people who don't mind smelling like burgers and like to talk about sex all day.
- One of the most important duties you will ever be entrusted with: Telling the manager's girlfriend that he's "not here".
- It's a meat market, in more than one way.
- If you forget to button the top button on your shirt after break, business doubles.
- You can pick up, no problem, from the obviously blazed guys who order weird combinations of food.

- If you want free food, cook it by "accident" and "hope that someone buys it" before holding time is up (eight minutes). "Wow! No one ordered a veggie burger for a whole eight minutes! It'd be a shame to waste it..."I can understand that, I've gotten free food as a customer on two occasions...

Anyway, something I forgot to add to summer camp:
- Sleeping in a tent, in a forest, during a storm right over camp is only possible if you came back drunk
- Duct tape will fix ANYTHING (even canoes... for years on end)
- Most of the staff would skip any religious services if they were allowed to
- All fish in the puddle (http://img290.imageshack.us/img290/9040/mvc790f4og.jpg) are stocked because the damn thing supports too much life for it to be healthy
- Forget to turn the fountains back on after the campfire and you have to restock the pond (not to mention scrape all the trout off the surface of the pond)
- Girl scouts are wusses: Their counselors are afraid to tell them about the FISH in the pond (not to mention the leeches) and expect nothing to happen when a fish jumps into one of the canoes
- Neckerchiefs are cheaper (i.e. free) if you already have a lot of them
- US army medics aren't sane, though some of them are responsible
- If you're a camp director and you want to save money, make the nice idea of inviting staffers to your campsite during the cook-outs camp policy so you don't have to feed the staff
- The nettles next to the staff kybo don't react well to urine
- Staffers will yell "NO RUNNING IN CAMP!" more for their entertainment than the safety of the campers
- Staff gets electricity in their tents (because six and a half weeks without it aren't fun at all, especially when you need to plug in your alarm clock)
- Week 2, 3, 4, and 5 are week 1 all over again