Chomskyrion
20-08-2005, 20:19
http://fapfap.org/idproven.html
Intelligent Design is Proven Science
(William Young, Memphis, TENNESSEE)
Robert Adams, 23, was swimming at the pool, just like any other day in the Summer heat in Millington, Tenessee. Little did he know that today he would have an experience with God. After a long swim, Robert stepped out of the pool, and Dr. Sam Durst, a researcher for intelligent design at the local Jerry Falwell Institute for the Religiously Insane in Memphis, saw something that caught his eye.
Sam said, "Could you c'mere, son?"
"What?" Robert asked.
"Let me take a look at yer nipple," Durst said.
And from that point on, Robert's life was changed forever.
After assuring Dr. Durst that he was heterosexual and not an atheist or a Democrat, as well as Durst showing him his credentials and offering to pay him several grand for his time, they drove back to Durst's lab. First, using a regular tape measure, Durst determined that both of Adams' nipples were perfectly round. He then measured them yet again, with more precise scientific equipment and Durst had learned that Adams' nipples were perfectly circular, down to 1/1000th of a millimeter.
"Such perfection is not normally found in nature," Durst said, "This must be God's work."
http://fapfap.org/flawlessnipple.jpg
One of Robert Adams' perfectly circular nipples
Senator Bill Frist, the prominent physician and congressman who had determined without a doubt that Terri Schiavo was fully-conscious, said that, from his standpoint as a professional doctor, he has examined the evidence and said that this is a huge breakthrough in the scientific field of intelligent design. When word broke to the local press, a crowd of evangelical fanboys and fangirls gathered around Robert Adams, outside of his home in Millington. Several Protestants in attendance claimed to have seen Jesus in Roberts' nipples, while several Catholics claimed to have seen Mother Mary. In both circumstances, it was called an absolute miracle.
One individual said, "Nipples are more than just little chunks of flesh hanging off your chest. They're holy and they're really a part of your virginity too," the woman opening her Holman Christian Bible, showing others a passage from the book of Ezekiel, which speaks of 'virgin nipples.'
The International Society for Complexity, Information, Design and Other Bullshit (ISCIDOB) gave a report stating that this is, in fact, proof of God's handiwork They went on to elaborate that the more that an individuals' nipples are round, the more intelligently-designed they were, and released a chart which summarized their findings.
http://fapfap.org/idchart.gif
Findings released from new Intelligent Design research
Several intelligent-design groups offered Robert Adams $50 thousand dollars if they could slice off his nipples for further research. Adams declined. So, currently, the same groups are offering the same reward to anyone else who can prove that they, too, have perfectly rotund nipples and will offer them to intelligent-design research.
There was a great deal of heated debate among mainstream scientists today as well, over the discoveries. One of the top proponents of evolution, a Dutch scientist, Dr. Imen Aschat, said, "This could simply be a fluke. There's never been a case of this, before, and I'd like to measure this guy's nipples myself," going on to say, "For all we know, this guy could be the next step in human evolution. After all, nipples have often been a sign of sexual-attractiveness. It only makes sense, then, that people with attractive teats will pass on their genes, so that we will evolve to have more and more perfectly round nipples."
In any case, it seems that nipples have sent a clear message to Intelligent Design researchers. And they believe that message is from the divine.
This is pretty amazing stuff. And what with the GENIUS, Bill Frist, on our side, I feel pretty confident that we're going to prove those atheist libs wrong!!!
Intelligent Design is Proven Science
(William Young, Memphis, TENNESSEE)
Robert Adams, 23, was swimming at the pool, just like any other day in the Summer heat in Millington, Tenessee. Little did he know that today he would have an experience with God. After a long swim, Robert stepped out of the pool, and Dr. Sam Durst, a researcher for intelligent design at the local Jerry Falwell Institute for the Religiously Insane in Memphis, saw something that caught his eye.
Sam said, "Could you c'mere, son?"
"What?" Robert asked.
"Let me take a look at yer nipple," Durst said.
And from that point on, Robert's life was changed forever.
After assuring Dr. Durst that he was heterosexual and not an atheist or a Democrat, as well as Durst showing him his credentials and offering to pay him several grand for his time, they drove back to Durst's lab. First, using a regular tape measure, Durst determined that both of Adams' nipples were perfectly round. He then measured them yet again, with more precise scientific equipment and Durst had learned that Adams' nipples were perfectly circular, down to 1/1000th of a millimeter.
"Such perfection is not normally found in nature," Durst said, "This must be God's work."
http://fapfap.org/flawlessnipple.jpg
One of Robert Adams' perfectly circular nipples
Senator Bill Frist, the prominent physician and congressman who had determined without a doubt that Terri Schiavo was fully-conscious, said that, from his standpoint as a professional doctor, he has examined the evidence and said that this is a huge breakthrough in the scientific field of intelligent design. When word broke to the local press, a crowd of evangelical fanboys and fangirls gathered around Robert Adams, outside of his home in Millington. Several Protestants in attendance claimed to have seen Jesus in Roberts' nipples, while several Catholics claimed to have seen Mother Mary. In both circumstances, it was called an absolute miracle.
One individual said, "Nipples are more than just little chunks of flesh hanging off your chest. They're holy and they're really a part of your virginity too," the woman opening her Holman Christian Bible, showing others a passage from the book of Ezekiel, which speaks of 'virgin nipples.'
The International Society for Complexity, Information, Design and Other Bullshit (ISCIDOB) gave a report stating that this is, in fact, proof of God's handiwork They went on to elaborate that the more that an individuals' nipples are round, the more intelligently-designed they were, and released a chart which summarized their findings.
http://fapfap.org/idchart.gif
Findings released from new Intelligent Design research
Several intelligent-design groups offered Robert Adams $50 thousand dollars if they could slice off his nipples for further research. Adams declined. So, currently, the same groups are offering the same reward to anyone else who can prove that they, too, have perfectly rotund nipples and will offer them to intelligent-design research.
There was a great deal of heated debate among mainstream scientists today as well, over the discoveries. One of the top proponents of evolution, a Dutch scientist, Dr. Imen Aschat, said, "This could simply be a fluke. There's never been a case of this, before, and I'd like to measure this guy's nipples myself," going on to say, "For all we know, this guy could be the next step in human evolution. After all, nipples have often been a sign of sexual-attractiveness. It only makes sense, then, that people with attractive teats will pass on their genes, so that we will evolve to have more and more perfectly round nipples."
In any case, it seems that nipples have sent a clear message to Intelligent Design researchers. And they believe that message is from the divine.
This is pretty amazing stuff. And what with the GENIUS, Bill Frist, on our side, I feel pretty confident that we're going to prove those atheist libs wrong!!!