NationStates Jolt Archive

I get so tired of all the politics/religion/whatever threads! So I thought this would be a good topic to help everyone focus on something that's just good, clean fun! :D

Who has any advice for someone wanting to improve their sex life, or have better sex or longer sex or more sex, or who would simply like to maximize their pleasure during sex?

( I realize that not everyone will offer serious suggestions, but it would be appreciated. )

Just to start us off ... one of the best things you can do to make sure you have great sex is to keep yourself in good condition: eat right, get plenty of exercise, and take your vitamins ( particularly Ginseng and Garlic ). :)

Don't piss off girls wearing heavy boots.
That usually helps.

Meh. There is only one thing you need to do in order to have a great sex life:

Please your partner.

I've found that if I go out of my way to get my girl off, she will, in turn, go wild on me. This has been true for every girl I've been with since I was sixteen years old. Alot of people are concerned with themselves and only themselves. Especially men. As Dante says in Clerks: Find somewhere warm and moist, preferably close. Thrust. Repeat'. That's nonsense, in my opinion.

Though it sounds big-headed, I've been with a fairly large number of women, given that I'm not all that attractive, and every one has gone away pleased. Not because I'm some super-lover, because I'm not. I simply take the time to try and give her the same sort of gooey, squealing pleasure she gives me.

Just remember that anyone can rut. While it may be fun to get yours and get off, it's far more fulfilling to take your time and make your partner's experience full as well. The act of intercourse, the thrusting and the exchange of fluids, is only a part of the experience. Tongues and tits and fingertips, as they say.

Be a generous lover. Please your Partner.

Yeah.

My advice? Listen to him ^^^^

What was wrong with the other sex thread?

Anyway, my tip for great sex: Abandon heterosexuality. :D

Tips for having great sex:

FInd a partner. :D

Create a close, trusting, emotional bond with that partner.

Listen to their needs and explain yours. Show and tell as necessary.

Make sure you are using condoms or birth control if you have concerns about consequences, so you can put your mind at ease for the experience.

(uh...garlic and ginseng are vitamins? ;) )

Tips for having great sex:

FInd a partner. :D

Create a close, trusting, emotional bond with that partner.

Listen to their needs and explain yours. Show and tell as necessary.

Make sure you are using condoms or birth control if you have concerns about consequences, so you can put your mind at ease for the experience.

(uh...garlic and ginseng are vitamins? ;) )
Garlic and ginsing are "dietary supplements." :p

Some great advice on here so far. Keep it up ( pun intended )! :D

What was wrong with the other sex thread?

Anyway, my tip for great sex: Abandon heterosexuality. :D
Yo, Fass! S'up? :)

Nothing was wrong with "the other sex thread," as far as I know. Can you ever have "too many" sex threads? :D

Can't abandon heterosexuality, Fass ... just can't do it. It would be about the same as my telling you to abandon homosexuality. ;)

Yo, Fass! S'up? :)

Not much. I'm packing my stuff and moving back to my regular home after having spent the summer at a friend's place. Uni starts after the coming week. :(

Nothing was wrong with "the other sex thread," as far as I know. Can you ever have "too many" sex threads? :D

Don't ask me, I'm thankfully not a mod.

Can't abandon heterosexuality, Fass ... just can't do it. It would be about the same as my telling you to abandon homosexuality. ;)

Except that I'd be asking you to abondon something inferior for something superior. :p

Not much. I'm packing my stuff and moving back to my regular home after having spent the summer at a friend's place. Uni starts after the coming week. :(

Don't ask me, I'm thankfully not a mod.
Some of the rest of us are thankful for that too, Fass! LOL! :D

So where are you in your studies, what year? And what are you taking? Inquiring minds want to know! ;)

GAH!!! Umm... make breaskfast the next morning :D

Some of the rest of us are thankful for that too, Fass! LOL! :D

Hush. You'd love my reign of terror, begging for more, and you know it.

So where are you in your studies, what year? And what are you taking? Inquiring minds want to know! ;)

Umm, the year is number 3 or 4 (depending on how you count) and I'm taking medicine.

Hmmm, make sure you and your partner talk about it so you both know what you both want. Make sure you're comfortable with said partner.

Make coffee in the morning for her, and don't take the whole thing too seriously. Really now, sex is rather silly if you think about it, and if you keep your sense of humor, it's a lot more enjoyable.

Ya the founding of a good sex is a good relationship.

Believe it or not men if they feel 'small' or useless won't be able to get it up or perform nicely. Men have ego problems, so make sure the special person knows your 'needs'. Women have the exact same thing, but they also have a low self-esteem generally about beauty. Make sure you are comfortable and love each other alot. This will improve the quality of sex.

Second, you are what you eat. Don't eat lots and lots of meat. Mickey D's is also bad for your sex life. This means all guys! If you have seen the movie/program Super Size Me, it will clearly have a section of this FROM his gf.

Third, excerise and both be in shape! You'll have more energy and will be able to do more. Also being in shape and healthy just in general makes you naturally feel better, and it will be much better during sex if you can both share the 'work'. :)

Those are basically all I have to say before I get explicit, but I rather not since these basic improvements are easy and true. Except if you are overweight or out of shape...that takes time. I know that.

I personally suggest reading "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday. It'll help guys understand how women "tick" when it comes to fantasies, which play a significant role in good sex.
Other than that, talk about it and what you would like to do or experiment on.

The use of garlic will keep the vampires away and you will loose the opportunity to have some of the best sex of your life. Vampires make great sex partners.

If you want to increase the number of times you have sex, you can take matters into your own hands. I'm sure you will come up with a solution. :eek:

Vampires make great sex partners.'Cept for the hiccies... :D

Some great advice on here so far. Keep it up ( pun intended )! :D

Perv. :p So, what are you up to?

Anyway, my tip for great sex: Abandon heterosexuality.

Nah...can't stand most women.

Pre-med? Specializing?

Eut and Fass, when did you guys start getting along? No more flame fests? :(

Everything I would have said is covered on here (but I still feel the need to mantion the close and trusting bond thing, and the talking about it beforehand thing, and the pleasing the other party thing,) except for my personal favourite:


Lube! LUBELUBELUBELUBELUBE!!! It's not just for the backdoor any more! :D

Nah...can't stand most women

Can't blame you.

Pre-med? Specializing?

It doesn't work like that here. But to make a rough conversion, I'm done with "pre-med" and have started the practical part of the education. Specializing is years away, thankfully, as I have no idea what I want to become.

Eut and Fass, when did you guys start getting along? No more flame fests? :(

We're getting along? News to me. ;) Seriously, we're just nicer to each other. Don't ask me why.

Lube! LUBELUBELUBELUBELUBE!!! It's not just for the backdoor any more! :D

SOOOO true. lube is key.

It doesn't work like that here. But to make a rough conversion, I'm done with "pre-med" and have started the practical part of the education. Specializing is years away, thankfully, as I have no idea what I want to become.

Just reread your post and see that you're 3/4 yrs into it. Do me a favor and specialize in orthopedics. Then, move here to Arkansas and keep my bones and joints together for me. 2 months after my wreck while they're all dithering around with a torn rotator cuff, one of them finally pays attention when I tell him my elbow hurts. What do you know!! A broken arm!! Augh!!


We're getting along? News to me. ;) Seriously, we're just nicer to each other. Don't ask me why. Because you're both good people. Just took a while to figure that out, I guess.

Hush. You'd love my reign of terror, begging for more, and you know it.

Umm, the year is number 3 or 4 (depending on how you count) and I'm taking medicine.
LOL! I'm sorry. What seems to be your medical problem? ( grin )

You think I'd like being abused, eh? Hmmm. Never tried that. ;)

Second, you are what you eat. Don't eat lots and lots of meat. Mickey D's is also bad for your sex life. This means all guys! If you have seen the movie/program Super Size Me, it will clearly have a section of this FROM his gf.
Some intelligent woman created a counter documentary. She only ate foods at McDonalds as well; howerver, she lost weight. Why? Because she watched her calory in take and regulated what she ate. Captain Become-a-fat-ass-and-look-like-a-dick-to-prove-what-everyone-already-knew ate anything and everything with no rhyme or reason, thus turning him into the fat ass dick that gave the wrong impression about fast food.

But on-topic, agreed with the person Glitziness agreed with because I forgot his name and can't be assed to go look

We're getting along? News to me. ;) Seriously, we're just nicer to each other. Don't ask me why.
LOL! It's 'cause I saw through all that bluster and cynicism. :p

Because you're both good people. Just took a while to figure that out, I guess.
Heh! Ya think? :D

Zooookeeeee! Wuzzup, Momma! Yo! :D

Lube! LUBELUBELUBELUBELUBE!!! It's not just for the backdoor any more! :D
ROFLMAO! Nahhh! Just work on it for awhile and use the natural thing! :D

Just reread your post and see that you're 3/4 yrs into it. Do me a favor and specialize in orthopedics. Then, move here to Arkansas and keep my bones and joints together for me. 2 months after my wreck while they're all dithering around with a torn rotator cuff, one of them finally pays attention when I tell him my elbow hurts. What do you know!! A broken arm!! Augh!!

It took them 2 months to X-ray your injured arm?! :eek:

Because you're both good people. Just took a while to figure that out, I guess.

If you say so. :)

Perv. :p So, what are you up to?
On a good day? About 8"! :D

I've been in a relationship for almost four years and don't find my partner as sexually attractive as I used to. Any advice?

LOL! It's 'cause I saw through all that bluster and cynicism. :p

Or you saw them as partly your own invention. :fluffle:

On a good day? About 8"! :D

I know this game. One always has to remember to automatically deduct at least 2"/5cm. :p

The use of garlic will keep the vampires away and you will loose the opportunity to have some of the best sex of your life. Vampires make great sex partners.

If you want to increase the number of times you have sex, you can take matters into your own hands. I'm sure you will come up with a solution. :eek:
LOL! Nahh. I hate doing all the work myself ... by myself! ;)

Garlic is good for what ails ya. If you take the odor-free capsules no one will even know, except your g/f or spouse ... they will notice an improvement in ... things. :D

Or you saw them as partly your own invention. :fluffle:
Heh! NOT! :p

I know this game. One always has to remember to automatically deduct at least 2"/5cm. :p
Once again ... NOT! :D

Once again ... NOT! :D

Blunt in your brevity (to which brevity I refer you will remain none the wiser), as always. :D

I've been in a relationship for almost four years and don't find my partner as sexually attractive as I used to. Any advice?

I've never been in that situation, but ... I have an idea which may or may not work.

For one week, avoid them as much as possible, and don't do anything sexual.
The next week, do all sorts of 'romantic' things (don't have to be cliched romantic, just stuff that you and your partner did when you were still in the 'honeymoon stage' at the beginning of your relationship) but still avoid sexual contact.

That should build up absurd amounts of sexual tension if you concentrate on not doing it.

On a good day? About 8"! :D

Well hello! *bats eyelashes*

I've been in a relationship for almost four years and don't find my partner as sexually attractive as I used to. Any advice?
Pay for plastic surgery? Find a new partner? Or maybe ... just maybe, try something new, teach her something you'll both enjoy, stuff like that. :p

Blunt in your brevity (to which brevity I refer you will remain none the wiser), as always. :D
Hey, Fass! I got yer "blunt" right here! Hehehe! :D

Well hello! *bats eyelashes*
Ooooooooo! Now that got my attention! :D

I've never been in that situation, but ... I have an idea which may or may not work.

For one week, avoid them as much as possible, and don't do anything sexual.
The next week, do all sorts of 'romantic' things (don't have to be cliched romantic, just stuff that you and your partner did when you were still in the 'honeymoon stage' at the beginning of your relationship) but still avoid sexual contact.

That should build up absurd amounts of sexual tension if you concentrate on not doing it.
Excellent advice!

You, I like! :D

Excellent advice!

You, I like! :D

:D Why thank you!

On a good day? About 8"! :D

I'm not touching that one!

What was wrong with the other sex thread?

Anyway, my tip for great sex: Abandon heterosexuality. :D


i completely agree. :D :D :D

Hey, Fass! I got yer "blunt" right here! Hehehe! :D

You sure? My meat standards are tough to meet.

And another sex thread derails into homosexual inuendo...

I'm not touching that one!
ROFLMAO!!!! Noooo comment! :D

And another sex thread derails into homosexual inuendo...

And you're complaining? :D

I've been in a relationship for almost four years and don't find my partner as sexually attractive as I used to. Any advice?

I find that I find my partner more attractive with passing time--my eye wanders more, but I am a dick.
Eutrusca gives you good advice, but I will take this a little further.
Are you hanging on to to gripe, or some resentment?

What I am getting at is if you are pissed somewhere deep down about something you will not SEE the person you are mad at in as good light as normal.

You should really examine what is going on in your head.

When I am angry at my wife she is not pretty--when I am not she is a looker.

We have some credit card--I spent several months irratated with her about the credit card use--and therefore I wasnt even enjoying sex, I was mad--only once I realised this did I start enjoying sex again--she detected my "At Ease" state of mind and she began to enjoy sex more--though she hadnt realized she wasnt enjoying it as much as possible. A simply change in your state of mind could make a world of difference.

If that doesnt work, 'toss her salad' and see how she responds in turn, that works too.

You sure? My meat standards are tough to meet.
USDA inspected! :D

And another sex thread derails into homosexual inuendo...

And that's bad because...?

USDA inspected! :D

That's as discredited as "made in the US". :p

That's as discredited as "made in the US". :p
LOL! You turkey! Two strikes with one blow. Tsk! :p

If that doesnt work, 'toss her salad' and see how she responds in turn, that works too.

OK, had to look that one up....moving right along.....

Fass & Eut, I think I'm starting to see why you guys are getting along better. ahhhhhhhhhh

LOL! You turkey! Two strikes with one blow. Tsk! :p

You left yourself open for that one. How could I not say it? :)

OK, had to look that one up....moving right along.....

You should linger a bit. It's the sensation that's gripping the nation.

Fass & Eut, I think I'm starting to see why you guys are getting along better. ahhhhhhhhhh

Do elaborate.

Do elaborate.
Bull ... shit! Do NOT elaborate! ROFLMAO!!

You should linger a bit. It's the sensation that's gripping the nation.

Didn't say I didn't know about it...just hadn't heard it called that. Puts a whole new slant on the term "salad bar".

Do elaborate.

You're both punsters and seem to have a mutual fondness for sexual conversations. Aren't you impressed with how sexually liberated Eut is?

Trim your pubes.

Didn't say I didn't know about it...just hadn't heard it called that. Puts a whole new slant on the term "salad bar".


I laugh out loud everytime I read menu that say "Tossed Salads $.99"
It's worse at the nicer establishments where server looks at you and says " Care for a tossed salad sir?", I can only respond with "Please." and give a big shite eating grin.

But, yeah it's a good way to apologize--works better then flowers.

It took them 2 months to X-ray your injured arm?! :eek:

Yes. Every time I complained of my elbow and lower arm hurting they said it was caused by tendonitis in my shoulder. Finally x-rayed it and there it was...only healed on its own.

Listen to the first posting, try to not take yourself too seriously.

You're both punsters and seem to have a mutual fondness for sexual conversations.

Punster sounds so tawdry, and that last part would seem to be the trait of most. I shall, however, cut back.

Aren't you impressed with how sexually liberated Eut is?

Impressed, creeped out. It's such a fine line.

I laugh out loud everytime I read menu that say "Tossed Salads $.99"
It's worse at the nicer establishments where server loks at you and say " Care for a tossed salad sir?", I can only respond with "Please." and give a big shite eating grin.

But, yeah it's a good way to apologize--works better then flowers.

My favorites are salad and orange juice. Can I still order orange juice with a straight face or have I missed out on something there, too?

Punster sounds so tawdry, and that last part would seem to be the trait of most. I shall, however, cut back.


Tawdry? Never. What would Spider say? And please don't curb your enthusiasm...it's interesting to say the least.

Impressed, creeped out. It's such a fine line.
"Creeped out?" Humpfh! :rolleyes:

"Creeped out?" Humpfh! :rolleyes:

Impressed/creeped out...Fass said he could go either way.

And that's bad because...?
Just a wild guess.. not everyone is homosexual and thoguht something crazy would happen in this thread, oh like, constructive suggestions.

Just a wild guess.. not everyone is homosexual and thoguht something crazy would happen in this thread, oh like, constructive suggestions.

You're right...we're bad. We'll quit hijacking and let y'all discuss serious issues.

My favorites are salad and orange juice. Can I still order orange juice with a straight face or have I missed out on something there, too?
Well, oj doesn't seem to have any "alternative" meanings, but tossed salad will never be quite the same for me again. Heh!

Back in the day, that use to be referred to as "rimming." Only done that once in my entire life, to an absolutely amazing woman who told me she would spend a week with me if I did ... so I did. She spent two months with me. :D

Just a wild guess.. not everyone is homosexual and thoguht something crazy would happen in this thread, oh like, constructive suggestions.
There have been some of those. Would you like more? :)

There have been some of those. Would you like more? :)

I'll check back in a little bit. It's past lunch time and I'm hungry for salad all of a sudden.

Just a wild guess.. not everyone is homosexual and thoguht something crazy would happen in this thread, oh like, constructive suggestions.

Oh, boohoo. Have this thread, then. I'd really hate to be in the way of the serious fucking business that is a forcibly heteronormative discussion on the Internet, of all places.

I'll check back in a little bit. It's past lunch time and I'm hungry for salad all of a sudden.
ROFLMAO!!! Um ... nahhh! Ain't gonna go there! :D

Oh, boohoo. Have this thread, then. I'd really hate to be in the way of the serious fucking business that is a forcibly heteronormative discussion on the Internet, of all places.

What, homosexuality doesn't need sex advice?

ROFLMAO!!! Um ... nahhh! Ain't gonna go there! :D

that's right. :p

What, homosexuality doesn't need sex advice?

Apparently not, since "everyone is not homosexual," but everyone is straight. :rolleyes:

Apparently not, since "everyone is not homosexual," but everyone is straight. :rolleyes:
Awww! Poor Fass!

Here: :fluffle:

Apparently not, since "everyone is not homosexual," but everyone is straight. :rolleyes:

So I don't exist because I refuse to pin down my gender preference to one sexuality? Damn.

Oh, boohoo. Have this thread, then. I'd really hate to be in the way of the serious fucking business that is a forcibly heteronormative discussion on the Internet, of all places.
Don't go throw a pity party because some one is calling you on hijacking threads into sexual inuendo, other people are doing it to, but you always instigate.

So I don't exist because I refuse to pin down my gender preference to one sexuality? Damn.

Apparently not. You and I are just a figment of someone's imaginations, and damned be he who dare question heteronormativity in a sex thread. Damned be he to Kansas!

Apparently not. You and I are just a figment of someone's imaginations, and damned be he who dare question heteronormativity in a sex thread. Damned be he to Kansas!

*shudder* Surely nobody deserves a fate as terrible as ... *dramatic pause* ... Kansas! :eek:

Don't go throw a pity party because some one is calling you on hijacking threads into sexual inuendo, other people are doing it to, but you always instigate.

I suggest you get a hobby if you're following me around to see what I "always instigate". I promise you that I won't stop being gay just because you're irked by me talking about it.

Awww! Poor Fass!
Here: :fluffle:

Thank you, Eutrusca. I don't know how I'll go on after having stood in the way of serious, heterosexual Internet business, but your fluffle surely soothes. :)

Don't go throw a pity party because some one is calling you on hijacking threads into sexual inuendo, other people are doing it to, but you always instigate.

1 - Where's the pity party? I wanna snag some cake!
2 - It's a thread about sex. I'd be shocked if it DIDN'T quickly degenerate into sexual innuendo.
3 - I don't think it counts as hijacking if the creator of the thread is involved.
4 - There's a whole big internet out there. Nobody's forcing you to read any of this. Put two and two together, why don't you?

1 - Where's the pity party? I wanna snag some cake!
2 - It's a thread about sex. I'd be shocked if it DIDN'T quickly degenerate into sexual innuendo.
3 - I don't think it counts as hijacking if the creator of the thread is involved.
4 - There's a whole big internet out there. Nobody's forcing you to read any of this. Put two and two together, why don't you?

Watch out, you're making sense! :p

I suggest you get a hobby if you're following me around to see what I "always instigate". I promise you that I won't stop being gay just because you're irked by me talking about it.
No, I am irked by the sexual inuendo hijacking, I could care less you are gay; it just happens since you are gay that is the kind of inuendo that pops up. And I don't follow you around, I was hoping this would be a real thread

... I was hoping this would be a real thread

It would be, if you had a question. It's advice, right? Which means you need to have something to want advice about, rather than general sex stuff.

My favorites are salad and orange juice. Can I still order orange juice with a straight face or have I missed out on something there, too?
Order a Tossed Salad with Scrambled Eggs and a Tea Bag on the side. Yes the theme song to Fraser is as perverted as these food references imply.

No, I am irked by the sexual inuendo hijacking, I could care less you are gay; it just happens since you are gay that is the kind of inuendo that pops up.

Then why have you stressed that it's homosexual innuendo and that "everyone is not homosexual" if you couldn't care less? Or is your misuse of the term correct, and you could actually care less, it's just that you do care.

And I don't follow you around, I was hoping this would be a real thread

Yeah, that sounds so hollow when the "hijacking" happens in collusion with the thread starter, and how you don't comment on Zooke's and Eutrusca's little 8" discussion.

tease em than please em.
build it up, don't go straight in all guns blazing, play a few games, touch and feel, kiss and tongue, make your way around her body taking in everything, so by the time you are finished she can't take it any more and needs you in her. know what she likes and do it, change it up, vary, don't ever get into a routine, and make sure both of you wants it, nothing worse than if your tired and and don't want to and someone is forcing you. but experiment and use foreplay, i always found you should give more time to the lady, don't think about yourself, but hey, what do i know?

Fass is gay, or wait is that politically correct?
Queer? feck!
Homosexual--wow is that mouthful... I mean...damn it!
inuendo--Homosexual IN-U-END OH!!! get it.
yeah...

Anyway I am a Born Again Christian. I disagree with Homosexuality out right--but feck I am not going to piss on Fass for posting about sex--in any form in a thread about sex(plus he is funny), mostly because I have a sense of humor(see how the above thing about him being funny relates to me having a sense of humor).

Second the other poster was correct, post a question and you will get an answer--I know me and Eu both gave relatively serious answers to another posters question.

tease em than please em.
build it up, don't go straight in all guns blazing, play a few games, touch and feel, kiss and tongue, make your way around her body taking in everything, so by the time you are finished she can't take it any more and needs you in her. know what she likes and do it, change it up, vary, don't ever get into a routine, and make sure both of you wants it, nothing worse than if your tired and and don't want to and someone is forcing you. but experiment and use foreplay, i always found you should give more time to the lady, don't think about yourself, but hey, what do i know?
Heh, I wish you were right--but my wife hates for play, she wants to get to business--none of this kissing and carressing crap--makes feel like a woman sometimes I am "Dont you wanna kiss?" she is like "Lick it, **** it!, call me a wh*re, smack my azz, bite my neck" after a second I realize how lucky I am, and forget that whole kiss and cuddle garbage.
Oh she also often says "Feck it like you paid for it" crazy. Hoorah for marriage.

"Lick it, **** it!, call me a wh*re, smack my azz, bite my neck"


It's like me, but married!

Don't go throw a pity party because some one is calling you on hijacking threads into sexual inuendo, other people are doing it to, but you always instigate.

Um, this whole thread is sexual inuendo dude.

Order a Tossed Salad with Scrambled Eggs and a Tea Bag on the side. Yes the theme song to Fraser is as perverted as these food references imply.

O God. I can never take Kelsy Gramer seriously again :(

Every woman is multi orgasmic, but not every woman knows it. Get her to relax, convince her that you are more interested in making her feel better than she ever has before. Conentrate on her little body movements that let you know what she likes, and take her to the promise land.


One warning, if she's never had an orgasm before, be prepared to hear the "L" word.

"Dont you wanna kiss?" she is like "Lick it, **** it!, call me a wh*re, smack my azz, bite my neck" after a second I realize how lucky I am, and forget that whole kiss and cuddle garbage.
Oh she also often says "Feck it like you paid for it" crazy. Hoorah for marriage.

http://www.spacespider.net/emo/common020.gif

Heh, I wish you were right--but my wife hates for play, she wants to get to business--none of this kissing and carressing crap--makes feel like a woman sometimes I am "Dont you wanna kiss?" she is like "Lick it, **** it!, call me a wh*re, smack my azz, bite my neck" after a second I realize how lucky I am, and forget that whole kiss and cuddle garbage.
Oh she also often says "Feck it like you paid for it" crazy. Hoorah for marriage.

well if thats what she wants, give it to her, i believe thats what i said at some point (or meant to say if i didn't), someteimes you just gotta be rough and sometimes soft and tender, to be a good lover you need to be able to switch back and forth, it can't always be the same, if she wants you to **** it, than just **** it hard

I've been in a relationship for almost four years and don't find my partner as sexually attractive as I used to. Any advice?

Do the buildup thing someone suggested, and try new things. Oppsites work good for me and my girlfriend (pain and pleasure, hot and cold, teasing and indulgence, vilolence and tenderness, dominance and submission).

Good luck :)

Garlic is good for what ails ya. If you take the odor-free capsules no one will even know, except your g/f or spouse ... they will notice an improvement in ... things. :D

Really.....I'll have to try that :)

Havent we had as many of these as Religeon and Abortion Evolution etc threads recently?

Havent we had as many of these as Religeon and Abortion Evolution etc threads recently?
????
Tossed Salad sir?

don't eat garlic because it makes your spunk taste funky eat celery I have heard that makes it taste better (never tasted spunk just heard it from one of my friends disastrous story's)

I'll bite (heh) - what's scrambled eggs?

O God. I can never take Kelsy Gramer seriously again :(

Tell me about it! Thank God for google. I need to get out of the office more. Anyway, what did y'all do? Run off Eut?

Every woman is multi orgasmic, but not every woman knows it. Get her to relax, convince her that you are more interested in making her feel better than she ever has before. Conentrate on her little body movements that let you know what she likes, and take her to the promise land.
You are correct, as far as you carry your point. Beyond that, there's the spontaneous orgasm ( without touching or being touched ), the orgasm whenever and as often as she wants, the orgasm when you tell her to have one ( over which she still has control ), the female "ejaculation," and much more. A seemingly never-ending garden of sensuous delights! Yayyyy! :D

Havent we had as many of these as Religeon and Abortion Evolution etc threads recently?
Perhaps, but these are SO much more fun! :D

It's like me, but married!
Hmmm. You remind me of someone else I know from Canada. [ looks very closely at you ]

Perhaps, but these are SO much more fun! :D
True that.

Im not going to bother to read it all but has there been any trolling?

don't eat garlic because it makes your spunk taste funky eat celery I have heard that makes it taste better (never tasted spunk just heard it from one of my friends disastrous story's)

Also, if you drink soda, it makes it taste like warm beer.

Tell me about it! Thank God for google. I need to get out of the office more. Anyway, what did y'all do? Run off Eut?

No, he's right here:

Perhaps, but these are SO much more fun! :D

Agreed :)

True that.

Im not going to bother to read it all but has there been any trolling?

Just a couple of folks wanting us to stick to the subject of the thread. Like that ever happens!!

Then why have you stressed that it's homosexual innuendo and that "everyone is not homosexual" if you couldn't care less? Or is your misuse of the term correct, and you could actually care less, it's just that you do care.

Yeah, that sounds so hollow when the "hijacking" happens in collusion with the thread starter, and how you don't comment on Zooke's and Eutrusca's little 8" discussion.

That's little? Cheated again.

... Eutrusca's little 8" discussion.
Excuuuuuuuuse me??? Say what??

Just WTF would you consider "average" then? LOL!

No shit, 8 inches is pretty good :p Average is 6.5 ..but girth matters.

Hmmm. You remind me of someone else I know from Canada. [ looks very closely at you ]


*looks around nervously*

No shit, 8 inches is pretty good :p Average is 6.5
LOL! Well, it's not so much how much you have, but how well you use what you're given. :)

That's little? Cheated again.

As I said, whatever size a guy tells you he has, you should automatically deduct at least 2"/5cm.

Oh, and 8"/20cm is okay, but I've had bigger. :p

*looks around nervously*
> >

Do I know you? You look awfully familiar! :D

Excuuuuuuuuse me??? Say what??
Just WTF would you consider "average" then? LOL!

Around that figure. That's what most guys I've been with have had. I know the "official" 6-6,5" figures, but I've been lucky, I guess.

As I said, whatever size a guy tells you he has, you should automatically deduct at least 2"/5cm.

Oh, and 8"/20cm is okay, but I've had bigger. :p
ROFL! But of course you have! Tsk. Silly me!

LOL! Well, it's not so much how much you have, but how well you use what you're given. :)


Very, very true! Along with other things :p

ROFL! But of course you have! Tsk. Silly me!

Do I detect a pinch of resentment?

Dexterousness matters :)

Not much. I'm packing my stuff and moving back to my regular home after having spent the summer at a friend's place. Uni starts after the coming week. :(



Don't ask me, I'm thankfully not a mod.



Except that I'd be asking you to abondon something inferior for something superior. :p

It's all right for girls to be lesbians but lads to gay is just not right

Calas

> >

Do I know you? You look awfully familiar! :D

*hides under towel*

It's all right for girls to be lesbians but lads to gay is just not right

Fortunately for me, I don't give a fuck what you think, so I go out and get fucked. It's so right, it's mind-blowing.

Most guys I've been with have been in the 7"-9" category. Mostly leaning a bit to the thin side, which is okay for ... reasons of less hurting. One was about 6" and one was WELL under average. Except he was a huge jerk, so I don't feel bad for him at all.

It's all right for girls to be lesbians but lads to gay is just not right

Calas


Chee. Double standard much?

Most guys I've been with have been in the 7"-9" category. Mostly leaning a bit to the thin side, which is okay for ... reasons of less hurting.

Oh? I prefer girth over length myself (in reasonable bounds, of course).

One was about 6" and one was WELL under average. Except he was a huge jerk, so I don't feel bad for him at all.

Are we talking micro-penis, or what?

Oh? I prefer girth over length myself (in reasonable bounds, of course).



Are we talking micro-penis, or what?


Invisipenis. I think it was around 2 1/2"-3".

Most guys I've been with have been in the 7"-9" category. Mostly leaning a bit to the thin side, which is okay for ... reasons of less hurting. One was about 6" and one was WELL under average. Except he was a huge jerk, so I don't feel bad for him at all.
ROFL! Well, perhaps you should start a statistical study of how size relates to be an asshole. :D

Invisipenis. I think it was around 2 1/2"-3".

Not quite micropenis, but small. Did the size leave you unsatisfied, or was he just a bad-in-bed jerk?

ROFL! Well, perhaps you should start a statistical study of how size relates to be an asshole. :D

*grin* I should. All the smaller ones I know are assholes.


... wait. Some of the biggest are assholes too >.<

But really...I must be turned on mentally and emotionally -- (rather.. we have to have a connection-- "be right there" with one another.. care for each other--other wise.. it's not good for me) for my physical part to kick in, has always been that way. I use to down myself for that when I'd see girl friends of mine being able to have meaningless sex .. but I know now that my sex is by far so much more immersive than theirs. Theirs are wham bam type encounters. Love, trust and comfort are my biggest turn ons.

Not quite micropenis, but small. Did the size leave you unsatisfied, or was he just a bad-in-bed jerk?


Luckily, I never got to the point of being in bed with him. I was 16 and he was a friend of a friend. I wouldn't have sex with him and he wouldn't do anything for me. I did hand things and he was all appreciative, but then he spread a bunch of rumours about me and turned a lot of people against me, which is rather insignificant now, but when you're 16...

all you really have to do is please your partner physicly,mentaly,and emotionaly and that would have a positive impact on your sex life

*grin* I should. All the smaller ones I know are assholes.


... wait. Some of the biggest are assholes too >.<
LOL! Um ... there are some men who are not assholes, yes???

LOL! Um ... there are some men who are not assholes, yes???

Of course! Overall, I prefer males. Females confuse the hell out of me. See? I am totally lacking in hellness!

Of course! Overall, I prefer males. Females confuse the hell out of me. See? I am totally lacking in hellness!
Um ... "hellness???"

Um ... "hellness???"

All the hell has been confused out of me.

All the hell has been confused out of me.
LOL! Well, I remain skeptical of that in light of some of the statements you've made in this thread. ;)

LOL! Well, I remain skeptical of that in light of some of the statements you've made in this thread. ;)

Oh?

Oh?
Uh ... yesss. :)

Uh ... yesss. :)


Such as?

Such as?
Such as this, maybe? ;)

So I don't exist because I refuse to pin down my gender preference to one sexuality? Damn.

Just a thought. :D

Pump ... uh ... I mean bump! Yeah, that's it ... bump! :D

Pump ... uh ... I mean bump! Yeah, that's it ... bump! :D

No, I do believe 'pump' is the word to use, in light of the subject matter at hand.

No, I do believe 'pump' is the word to use, in light of the subject matter at hand.
( smile ) At least someone caught it! :D

( smile ) At least someone caught it! :D

It's how my mind works... haven't you caught on yet? ;)

It's how my mind works... haven't you caught on yet? ;)
As a matter of fact, I "caught on" to how your mind works quite some time ago ... like around the second or third post you made! :D

As a matter of fact, I "caught on" to how your mind works quite some time ago ... like around the second or third post you made! :D

*innocent grin*

What, homosexuality doesn't need sex advice?
Well, homosexuality may need sex advice, but rumor has it Fass* doesn't

*I know nothing of Fass' sex life, and have heard no rumors about his sexual abilities and/or knowlege.

*I know nothing of Fass' sex life, and have heard no rumors about his sexual abilities and/or knowlege.

Really? I must have been slacking lately, then.

Really? I must have been slacking lately, then.
Very! Heh!

Actually, it looked sorta like a disclaimer to me. ;)

I get so tired of all the politics/religion/whatever threads! So I thought this would be a good topic to help everyone focus on something that's just good, clean fun! :D

Who has any advice for someone wanting to improve their sex life, or have better sex or longer sex or more sex, or who would simply like to maximize their pleasure during sex?

( I realize that not everyone will offer serious suggestions, but it would be appreciated. )

Just to start us off ... one of the best things you can do to make sure you have great sex is to keep yourself in good condition: eat right, get plenty of exercise, and take your vitamins ( particularly Ginseng and Garlic ). :)

making love with your wife on a cactus is normally not advised for maximum pleasure.

making love with your wife on a cactus is normally not advised for maximum pleasure.
Dude. WTF, over? Who said anything about that??? [ confused look ] :confused:

making love with your wife on a cactus is normally not advised for maximum pleasure.
:eek: I can't imagine it would be

I have a question
What was the youngest that anyone ever had intercourse at :fluffle:
Any type thereof

I have a question
What was the youngest that anyone ever had intercourse at :fluffle:
Any type thereof
Well, I have to admit that I tried to at about 12, since the girl across the street provided some great incentive. However, I wasn't successful until I started college. ( Long story! )

making love with your wife on a cactus is normally not advised for maximum pleasure.

Dude, I cut off a peice of cactus once, and cut it open to see the juice inside, and you don't realise how many invisible spines there are :( And they stick in your fingers, and you try to pull them out, but they just break, and then you have a spine in you to small to pull out, and it's fucking painful. It got me thinking. It's a really good defence. It was such an unpleasent experience, that if I was a cayote, or something, I'd tell everyone I knew not to fuck with cacti.

Really? I must have been slacking lately, then.
ha...thats right fass. Tales of your exploits have reached all the way to a small town in central Connecticut, USA. congratulations, and keep up the good work

as for your question, 16.

if we really wanted to get a bit more down and dirty, we could start discussing numbers as well.

Well, I have to admit that I tried to at about 12
bad aim?

ha...thats right fass. Tales of your exploits have reached all the way to a small town in central Connecticut, USA. congratulations, and keep up the good work

Well, one does try.

I have a question
What was the youngest that anyone ever had intercourse at :fluffle:
Any type thereof
I was 14, she was 26 or 28, Key Largo Schnapps, Marlboro menthol, tight jeans and no moral values what so ever--I wish I could say I was amazing--but I wasnt--not even close. I had fun though.

A true sailor also fares the Red sea :eek:

I have a question
What was the youngest that anyone ever had intercourse at :fluffle:
Any type thereof

3 months before I turned 16.

The second time was over 2 years later.

Meh. There is only one thing you need to do in order to have a great sex life:

Please your partner.

I've found that if I go out of my way to get my girl off, she will, in turn, go wild on me. This has been true for every girl I've been with since I was sixteen years old. Alot of people are concerned with themselves and only themselves. Especially men. As Dante says in Clerks: Find somewhere warm and moist, preferably close. Thrust. Repeat'. That's nonsense, in my opinion.

Though it sounds big-headed, I've been with a fairly large number of women, given that I'm not all that attractive, and every one has gone away pleased. Not because I'm some super-lover, because I'm not. I simply take the time to try and give her the same sort of gooey, squealing pleasure she gives me.

Just remember that anyone can rut. While it may be fun to get yours and get off, it's far more fulfilling to take your time and make your partner's experience full as well. The act of intercourse, the thrusting and the exchange of fluids, is only a part of the experience. Tongues and tits and fingertips, as they say.

Be a generous lover. Please your Partner.

Yeah.


RIGHT ON!! I always find the act dissappointing if I don't please my wife prior to my own...ummm...pleasure.

Seriously, most guys seem to think that sex is a one way street to ejaculationville. Always keep in mind, she wants to feel it too.

All the things a woman should do to please a man:

(Are y'all paying attention?)

1. Bring food!

2. Show up naked!

Points 1 and 2 are preferably combined.

:D

Hey E,

I've been seeing a couple of women off and on, last night one of them used the 'L' word in the thros of passion, should I be concerned? She said "I love you" right after she said "I want you". We're both newly divorced and up till now it's been mutually understood that our relationship was going to go slow, very slow, and not be exclusive.



And does the fact that I had her tied to the bed and blindfolded at the time have any bearing on the issue?

And does the fact that I had her tied to the bed and blindfolded at the time have any bearing on the issue?

Nice :)

Hey E,

I've been seeing a couple of women off and on, last night one of them used the 'L' word in the thros of passion, should I be concerned? She said "I love you" right after she said "I want you". We're both newly divorced and up till now it's been mutually understood that our relationship was going to go slow, very slow, and not be exclusive.
In my opinion, you should be very concerned about anybody who "drops the L-bomb" for the first time in the middle of a sexual encounter. Lots of people, particularly those on the rebound, will mistake infatuation or sexual passion for love, and this can lead to broken hearts all around. Be VERY VERY CAREFUL.

I have a question
What was the youngest that anyone ever had intercourse at :fluffle:
Any type thereof
Any type thereof?

Well, I believe I lost my virginity at about 14, but I didn't have penis-in-vagina sex until somewhat later. Of course, I have never defined virginity by penis-in-vagina (since I'm bisexual and the penis-in-vagina definition would mean that my ex-girlfriend is a "virgin" despite having spent a year having sex with me), so some people are confused by this.