Chomskyrion
19-08-2005, 04:52
http://fapfap.org/wmdfound.html
WMDs Finally Found in Iraq
(William Young, WASHINGTON)
Almost two years since the Iraq war began, and finally the U.S. military has uncovered weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. This comes after years of scandals, of pinko communists in America demanding to see evidence of both WMDs and non-U.S. forces in Iraq. (The latter has not yet been proven, though there have been sightings of a German man wandering west of Basra). Finally, State Department officials say that they have found the evidence needed to justify the torture at Gitmo and Abu-Ghraib, and the overall slaughter of women and children, and oppression of all of those in Iraq.
The chemical weapons factories were reportedly disguised as post-war department stores, to confuse local military and police officials (see image below).
http://www.explainplease.com/todayinnews/300px-Walmart_exterior.jpg
One of four Iraqi weapons factories uncovered in Iraq.
The discovery of the four weapons factories in Iraq also confirms Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld's statement on WMDs in Iraq, during March of 2003, "They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." Finding these factories have proven his statements to be all too true.
http://fapfap.org/wmdmap.gif
A map of the four WMD factories, strangely all found in Iraq, within days of eachother.
Within these factories, several kilogallons of mustard gas were stored in single-serve packets, suitable for releasing in a civilian area, as well as several millitons of anthrax, stored in white, paper bags. The U.S. government-owned Arab news station, Al-Hurra, run by Voice of America, released two troubling images of Hussein's WMDs. Senator John Kerry's wife, Maria Teresa Consuela Con Queso Carne Chihuaua Taco Evita Burrito Cornholio Ayayayaya Thierstein Simões-Ferreira Heinz Kerry, is also being investigated in the mustard scandal.
http://fapfap.org/wmdsfound.jpg
Images of WMDs found in Iraq (courtesy of Al-Hurra TV).
The State Department has also released a photo of a new, high-ranking leader of Al-Qaeda, who was involved in running these factories, named Aladdin bin Jihadi Derka Derka Muhammed Habak Derka Hezbollah bin Laden bin Derka Derka Derka Zarqawi. Like several thousand other people, he's also purported to be the 20th hijacker on 9\11.
http://www.princessmonkey.com/disney/dfriends/al_stand.jpg
Aladdin bin Jihadi Derka Derka, the 20th hijacker.
The U.S. government, in a press conference, stated that if anyone has any information on Aladdin, to dial 666, in order to reach the Bush administration's office directly. Saddam Hussein continues to claim from prison that he never had any WMDs and that Aladdin is not a real person. During the press conference, Bush replied, scoffing, "You can't trust a liar like that man."
Britain's Prime Minister, Tony Blair, also held a press-conference, stating, "Yeah. What he said," before trailing off into some unintelligible, English gibberish, with lots of big words, which no American journalists present were able to decipher.
In a completely unrelated story, President Bush said that he continues to oppose prosecuting the baseball player, Raphael Palmeiro, for perjury, despite the fact that his drug-screening and court testimony don't match up.
You know, I'm absolutely shocked. Who knew?!
I can't believe how wrong we were. Well, at least I'm mature enough to admit it when reality blatant slaps me in the face after 2 years, instead of being a retarded apologist who makes up a bunch of bullshit, by twisting news stories to mean what he WANT THEM to mean... You know. Francis Bacon's "Idol of the Den," and all. You've always gotta be weary of believing things just because it agrees with your preconceived opinion. Otherwise, you end up looking like a complete DUMBASS.
Sorry, Conservatives. You're right. We were wrong. :(
By the way, Aladdin bin Jihadi looks so evil. Look at how he's smiling. He's GRINNING over the terrorist acts he's helped to perpetrate. What a sick bastard!
WMDs Finally Found in Iraq
(William Young, WASHINGTON)
Almost two years since the Iraq war began, and finally the U.S. military has uncovered weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. This comes after years of scandals, of pinko communists in America demanding to see evidence of both WMDs and non-U.S. forces in Iraq. (The latter has not yet been proven, though there have been sightings of a German man wandering west of Basra). Finally, State Department officials say that they have found the evidence needed to justify the torture at Gitmo and Abu-Ghraib, and the overall slaughter of women and children, and oppression of all of those in Iraq.
The chemical weapons factories were reportedly disguised as post-war department stores, to confuse local military and police officials (see image below).
http://www.explainplease.com/todayinnews/300px-Walmart_exterior.jpg
One of four Iraqi weapons factories uncovered in Iraq.
The discovery of the four weapons factories in Iraq also confirms Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld's statement on WMDs in Iraq, during March of 2003, "They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." Finding these factories have proven his statements to be all too true.
http://fapfap.org/wmdmap.gif
A map of the four WMD factories, strangely all found in Iraq, within days of eachother.
Within these factories, several kilogallons of mustard gas were stored in single-serve packets, suitable for releasing in a civilian area, as well as several millitons of anthrax, stored in white, paper bags. The U.S. government-owned Arab news station, Al-Hurra, run by Voice of America, released two troubling images of Hussein's WMDs. Senator John Kerry's wife, Maria Teresa Consuela Con Queso Carne Chihuaua Taco Evita Burrito Cornholio Ayayayaya Thierstein Simões-Ferreira Heinz Kerry, is also being investigated in the mustard scandal.
http://fapfap.org/wmdsfound.jpg
Images of WMDs found in Iraq (courtesy of Al-Hurra TV).
The State Department has also released a photo of a new, high-ranking leader of Al-Qaeda, who was involved in running these factories, named Aladdin bin Jihadi Derka Derka Muhammed Habak Derka Hezbollah bin Laden bin Derka Derka Derka Zarqawi. Like several thousand other people, he's also purported to be the 20th hijacker on 9\11.
http://www.princessmonkey.com/disney/dfriends/al_stand.jpg
Aladdin bin Jihadi Derka Derka, the 20th hijacker.
The U.S. government, in a press conference, stated that if anyone has any information on Aladdin, to dial 666, in order to reach the Bush administration's office directly. Saddam Hussein continues to claim from prison that he never had any WMDs and that Aladdin is not a real person. During the press conference, Bush replied, scoffing, "You can't trust a liar like that man."
Britain's Prime Minister, Tony Blair, also held a press-conference, stating, "Yeah. What he said," before trailing off into some unintelligible, English gibberish, with lots of big words, which no American journalists present were able to decipher.
In a completely unrelated story, President Bush said that he continues to oppose prosecuting the baseball player, Raphael Palmeiro, for perjury, despite the fact that his drug-screening and court testimony don't match up.
You know, I'm absolutely shocked. Who knew?!
I can't believe how wrong we were. Well, at least I'm mature enough to admit it when reality blatant slaps me in the face after 2 years, instead of being a retarded apologist who makes up a bunch of bullshit, by twisting news stories to mean what he WANT THEM to mean... You know. Francis Bacon's "Idol of the Den," and all. You've always gotta be weary of believing things just because it agrees with your preconceived opinion. Otherwise, you end up looking like a complete DUMBASS.
Sorry, Conservatives. You're right. We were wrong. :(
By the way, Aladdin bin Jihadi looks so evil. Look at how he's smiling. He's GRINNING over the terrorist acts he's helped to perpetrate. What a sick bastard!