NationStates Jolt Archive


Bush vows to eliminate U.S. dependence on oil by 4920

Tactical Grace
16-08-2005, 21:11
Bush vows to eliminate U.S. dependence on oil by 4920 (http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4132)

Extracts:

"Our mission is clear," Bush said in a speech delivered at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. "We must free ourselves from dependence on fossil fuels within 85 generations. A cleaner, safer America is my vision. And it is our great, great—great-times-80 grandchildren who will realize that vision."

Bush called on both Democrats and Republicans living 1,200 years from now to work together to pass the program.

In a detailed policy statement, Bush elaborated on the plan, expressing the hope that a third party, perhaps one comprising robots or super-intelligent, genetically engineered man-beasts, will help reduce America's dependence on fossil fuels.

Some industrialists, particularly major auto manufacturers, expressed reservation over Bush's initiative.

"As admirable as Mr. Bush's visionary pronouncement is, I worry that the timetable he proposes is far too ambitious," General Motors CEO Richard Wagoner Jr. said. "It is simply not realistic. The automotive industry would require an additional three or four thousand years to develop engines that can run effectively on renewable or cleaner-burning fuels."

The proclamation comes on the heels of Bush's plans to pay off the national debt by the early 6300s, and win the war on terror by 7450.
The South Islands
16-08-2005, 21:15
Better than nothing...
Brians Test
16-08-2005, 21:19
I wonder if the person who made this post understands that this is a satire...

A Chinese newspaper once picked up a story from The Onion about Congress building a new Holo-dome where the old capitol stands.
Undelia
16-08-2005, 21:23
IA Chinese newspaper once picked up a story from The Onion about Congress building a new Holo-dome where the old capitol stands.
A new one?
Does that mean we already have old ones?
WE GOT HOLO-DOMES!!!!!!!!!!! YEEHAW!
Corneliu
16-08-2005, 21:25
The onion? Don't make me laugh.
Tropical Montana
16-08-2005, 21:25
HAHAHAHAHAHHA-gasp-HAHAHAHAHHAHHAhahahah hahaha hehe

That is fabulously funny!

gawd, i love satire.
The Black Forrest
16-08-2005, 21:26
I wonder if the person who made this post understands that this is a satire...

A Chinese newspaper once picked up a story from The Onion about Congress building a new Holo-dome where the old capitol stands.

Who Tac? I guess you never talked to him. He does and it touches on one of his things. The end of oil production.....
CSW
16-08-2005, 21:44
I wonder if the person who made this post understands that this is a satire...

A Chinese newspaper once picked up a story from The Onion about Congress building a new Holo-dome where the old capitol stands.
" Tactical Grace
NationStates Ex-Moderator"


What are the odds that a Moderator doesn't know about the Onion?
Colodia
16-08-2005, 21:51
I love The Onion...

http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/7753/11230480197429xg.jpg
Chomskyrion
16-08-2005, 21:54
Hahahahahahaha.