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I very often feel unattractive. Other guys have much more girls, have more fun and what ever. I'm 19. Till now I only "dry-humped" one girl, which afterwards did not want to have anything to do with me and had one 2-year-long relationship (nearly perfect, but even during that period had problems with this feeling, because we (the last some month) had an open relationship (no sex, only kissing) and she kissed with 2 guys (with one of them more often), whereas I did not with one single girl). Then there was a 3rd girl I kissed, but that was more or less all.
Do you think there is a way i can get more comfortable with not having that many girls (or a way to get more ;) )?

No solution available? Or sick of this kind of thread?

be more confident and happy with what experience you've had... its more than some/many :(

i mean a 2 year relationship in itself is good

i mean a 2 year relationship in itself is good

But the length of a relationship is not so much based on how attractive someone is.

you are comparing yourself to what you think others have. if you obsess over "getting some" you will just be a "hound dog" sniffing around girls looking for one who will provide what you are looking for. no girl likes to be looked at that way.

calm down, step back and reassess what is valuable in your life. yeah its nice to have every girl want you but that aint gonna happen. try to look your best, concentrate on building your future. treat women like human beings not potential sex providers. you will find that a certain number of girls like boys like you. treat them well and youll do fine.

My only advise to you is to NEVER EVER be in a relationship where either of you can kiss others. That would be an invitation for me to beat some dude's ass!

Wow, you're pretty lucky. I am glad to announce that I have never even physicalyl touched a girl (including bumping into). I'm in a worse prediciment, and stop complaining topic creator.

My only advise to you is to NEVER EVER be in a relationship where either of you can kiss others.
but what if you're both okay with that?

But the length of a relationship is not so much based on how attractive someone is.
so? you got two years of relationship exprience, so to speak, which is still a fair amount and may be a helluva lot more than many "attractive" people have. i mean, at least at my school, the really attractive people only ever had relationships that lasted a few months if that, whereas you've gone through a lot more in your experience than they will have in that time. hence you have good experience under your belt.

i'm not sure how it helps you feel more attractive, but it should damn well help bolster your confidence a little!


and while i agree totally with Ashmoria, being constantly on the look-out for, or being obsessed with chicks isn't the only thing that can cause lack of confidence in one's own appearance.


i don't really know what to advise cos i was pretty much in the same situation till i resigned that it - getting chicks and my appearance - can't upset me if i don't care about it. so what i did was get something of a new wardrobe and get to a point where i'm relatively happy with the way i look (though i would definatley like to loose some weight... but again i've resigned that just ain't gonna happen :p) and forget about how others see me.
problem is, while i am happier for it, its certainly not condusive to getting a lady :(

stand in front of the mirror and think of as much positive things about yourself as possible and write them down. things about your looks and your character... it doesnt matter. read this list every day and add things if possible. whenever you feel unattractive, try to remember the list. NEVER write down bad things about yourself. if you do find bad things... "fight" them with all the good things you have. they will go away.

i do this myself and it works for me. they have also done research on this subject. they had 2 groups of people. they all felt unattractive. one group did the thing i wrote down above. the other group was the control group and didnt do anything. the group that did do something about it started thinking more positive about themselves and felt happier. they felt like they were somebody and that they could be seen.

if you feel less unattactive people will notice it and i hope that everything will go easier.

goodluck

lol ive been wiht the same girl since i was twelve :D

but what if you're both okay with that?
If your both ok with it, I guess it's fine, and I DON'T want to judge anyone, but I personally don't think its a very healthy way for a relationship, and also a good way to spread disease!

you are comparing yourself to what you think others have. if you obsess over "getting some" you will just be a "hound dog" sniffing around girls looking for one who will provide what you are looking for.
I try not to be and and i think I am relatively successful. Otherwise I would rather want to get more girls than to be happy with what I have.

I personally don't think its a very healthy way for a relationship!
I personaly wouldn't do it either (I'm too jealous :p ) but if two (or more ;) ) people in a relation are all ok with it, it's their business, not mine :)

I try not to be and and i think I am relatively successful. But that does not give give me confidence.
well if getting results (being "relatively successful") doesn't give you confidence i don't know what will!


the rest of us who don't get results at least have that excuse :p

Man, I thought this was the Internet? I mean, why have some of us ACTUALLY TOUCHED GIRLS.

It makes NO sense.

the answer to your problems :p (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=437962)

My only advise to you is to NEVER EVER be in a relationship where either of you can kiss others. That would be an invitation for me to beat some dude's ass!

Why not beat your significant other's ass as well? - she would have been as much complicit in the action.

Why not beat your significant other's ass as well? - she would have been as much complicit in the action.ah, because it wouldn't be polite to hit a girl ;)

ah, because it wouldn't be polite to hit a girl ;)

Whereas Sick Dreams seems to consider it perfectly socially acceptable and polite to hit boys.

well if getting results (being "relatively successful") doesn't give you confidence i don't know what will!


the rest of us who don't get results at least have that excuse :p

The "being successful" refered to the "not being a hound dog" bit.

you will find that a certain number of girls like boys like you. treat them well and youll do fine.

Ive experienced that, but the problem is that one rarely meets these girls in discos etc. I mean it is not like as though I have to get a girl as quick as possible, but being hit on is so much fun.

the answer to your problems :p (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=437962)
thatw was one of the funniest threads i've ever read!

I very often feel unattractive. Other guys have much more girls, have more fun and what ever. I'm 19. Till now I only "dry-humped" one girl, which afterwards did not want to have anything to do with me and had one 2-year-long relationship (nearly perfect, but even during that period had problems with this feeling, because we (the last some month) had an open relationship (no sex, only kissing) and she kissed with 2 guys (with one of them more often), whereas I did not with one single girl). Then there was a 3rd girl I kissed, but that was more or less all.
Do you think there is a way i can get more comfortable with not having that many girls (or a way to get more ;) )?

I didn't have all that much experiance at 19 myself. I was very shy, and still kinda am.
Here's my advice, don't worry about what other guys are getting now. When you play that game, you'll never win.

If you feel unattractive, do something about it. Join a gym, or start working out on your own, and watch what you eat. Its not easy to stay dedicated to it, but if you can find a good workout partner it helps keep both of you motivated. if its available in your area, take martial arts classes. They are a great way to work out and will help you build self confidence.

If your not going to college, get a job. Money talks and bullshit walks.

Be patient, treat women with respect, and be yourself.

Never call it "dry-humping"... Bleh...
That's an immediate turn off...

It causes me to have the worst mental pictures...

Bah, I am far too good at befriending women. I am just too amicable and too good at conversing with them in a civilised fashion. Most I meet think I'm gay. I am also often described as 'pretty' rather than handsome. You think you have problems?:P

I very often feel unattractive. Other guys have much more girls, have more fun and what ever. I'm 19. Till now I only "dry-humped" one girl, which afterwards did not want to have anything to do with me and had one 2-year-long relationship (nearly perfect, but even during that period had problems with this feeling, because we (the last some month) had an open relationship (no sex, only kissing) and she kissed with 2 guys (with one of them more often), whereas I did not with one single girl). Then there was a 3rd girl I kissed, but that was more or less all.
Do you think there is a way i can get more comfortable with not having that many girls (or a way to get more ;) )?Ich erzähl dir mal wie's mir ergangen ist, vielleicht fühlst du dich dann besser:
Ich bin erst mit zwanzig entjungfert worden und hab mich auch über längere Zeit damit rumgequält das ich nicht attraktiv genug wär. Davor hatte ich nur zwei Freundinnen mit denen ich geküsst hatte (die erste mit neunzehn) mit denen dann auch nichts lief. Keine meiner Romanzen haben länger als sechs Monate gedauert.
Also mach dir nichts draus. Du bist noch jung und hast viel noch vor dir ;)

I've been told I'm handsome and I've got an athletic body to boot. I've only kissed one girl in my life (18 years old) and she was my only girlfriend ever. The key is being confident and just generally happy.

My friend "Meatball" is 4,11 and 300lbs and he's gotten unbelievable action all because of his amiable personality.

Keep your chin up and don't surrender any opportunities, forget being shy and just be happy. Eventually people will be drawn to your positive nature no matter what you look like or who you are.