NationStates Jolt Archive

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?
EDIT: Several Months Later...

Hmmm...While I didn't go back to this thread, I took some of the advice to heart (no pun intended), mainly the ones about distraction, time, and distance (booze was tempting, I'll admit---but I just turned 16), and the criticisms of the person I loved just came naturally after that.

I must admit, the whole process is disillusioning. The girl you practically worshipped just becomes a mere mortal, and instead of blaming yourself for the entire disaster, you tend to realizethat a lot of it was her fault, and that much of the time she was simply using you for personal emotional gain. It's sad really, but a good lesson.

And yes, it was actual love. Not true, "forever together" love, but not just a crush, either. How can I tell? Firstly, it took me a damn long time to get over. Secondly, I've had crushes before, and as part of my efforts to become asexual, I've easily wiped them from my mind. This one lass somehow managed to seep into my mind, coloring my thoughts without end, consuming my soul. I couldn't destroy it, and it drove me into the depths of madness and irrationality.

And yes, I concede, Nation of Fortune, I'm not asexual. Emotionally, I can be extremely heterosexual, and physically I'm very, very, very mildly heterosexual. (I'm blessed with low libido) However, I've decided that I'm creating a new category for myself:

Anti-sexual.

That's right. I am firmly opposed to sexuality and romance in my mind, and will focus my mental abilities on keeping the mind in control rather than emotions or hormones.

Stab your eyes out with a fork. It'll take your mind off of just about everything.

Dude! Get laid

You die.

I don't mean that as an insult, either. True love with follow you - daming as it can be - until your existence ceases. You'll love them when you are happy with them, when you are angry with them, when you are close to them, when you are far away from them.

Love is perhaps the strongest of all human emotions, and once its sunk it's teeth into you, you may as well accept it's there to stay. The best you can do is just try to ignore it, and it will eventually fade into the background somewhat.

Kind of like the sound of traffic, you get used to it and barely notice it.

There's no other way but to lock yourself in a dark room with no windows for a few days, you know, like the world is fixing to end, and then when you come out, try to go cold when a girl flirts or hits on you:D That was a joke. But seriously, try to go kind of cold when somebody of the other gender flirts or hits on you.

Past that, get laid, dude:p

Hmmm...Keruvalia, again your words ooze with wisdom. C'mon! People can't possibly stay in love forever! There must be some way out of it!

How does one...

...get out of love?

The best way to forget about someone you've fallen in love with is to find someone else new...but you seem pretty determined to remain asexual.

You're probably just going to have to tough it out for a while. Try moving away for a while or going on holiday, that might help.

Find someone else obviously.

"stab your eyes out with a fork" HAHAHAHAH, Yeah, that might work.

"Dude, get laid" HeeHee, yeah. though this probably won't cure you either, unless you fall in love with the new partner, so that's not really a cure, just a substitution.

"You die." Well, yes, this works, but the truth is, any love will die if not fed long enough.

TIME will heal you. It may be useful to remember that there is a difference between loving someone, and being IN LOVE with someone. Loving someone doesn't require any maintenance to keep it alive. Nor does it make you feel like you need to be with them.

Being IN love makes you think you need to be with them, need to have a future with them. Best advice i can give you is to go ahead and keep loving them, just start making different plans with your future. Eventually the IN love part will go away, from lack of maintenance.

Hmmm...Keruvalia, again your words ooze with wisdom. C'mon! People can't possibly stay in love forever! There must be some way out of it!

Well ... I do my best.

In reality, there's no way out. Love doesn't have to mean sex, though. Does asexuality preclude love?

It may be useful to remember that there is a difference between loving someone, and being IN LOVE with someone. Loving someone doesn't require any maintenance to keep it alive.I rescind my earlier statement, and defer to their wisdom on this one.

Aversion therapy.

Get really really angry at her, and think about all the things you hated about being with her (you know there are some) and think about how she betrayed you and is probably fucking some other guy right now. Drink. A lot. Focus your hate. Focus. Focus until you can burn through metal with it. drink. drink some more. focus. call her names. Get your friends involved with the name calling.

Before you know it, your love has turned to hate.

It might not be healthy, but it works, if that's what you're going for.

just remember the age-old saying: "Love is foverever while it lasts".
Next dress up in a solid armour of cinicism and off you go.

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?

Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Begin listing everything that mildly annoyed you, that you didn't like about the person.
List everything they did that held you back, made you not feel like the person you want to be - which it obviously did considering you want to be an asexual, anti-love person

Regardless of what I think about the person that you want to be, the point is that this chick stopped you from being that way - if you truely think it's best to be that way then be glad she's out of your life and you can get back to being the version of yourself that you like.

Wait it out. It sort of works, although it never goes away. It will follow you until your dying day. Or it might not, me not having lived long enough to find out. ;) You could always trying flogging yourself with a rusty chain to purge it from you.

What is the point of trying to be asexual? That's stupid like trying to be gay. Either you're asexual naturally, or you're not at all.

Hmmm...Keruvalia, again your words ooze with wisdom. C'mon! People can't possibly stay in love forever! There must be some way out of it!
Spend all your time with the object of your affection. Soon little things will start to irritate you. Spend more time with him/her, and soon you'll have to restrain yourself from murder.

How does one...

...get out of love?Time. Don't know how much. Talking helps. Sometimes. But time is the only cure.

I suggest pithing yourself. (that's pith! P-I-T-H!)

Stiff, red-hot wire is easily obtained, and studies have shown that pithing is highly effective in removing unwanted feelings of love and affection.

:D

Shut off the dopamine supply and youll be fine.

Time is the only cure I hate to say. Take some time be single, figure out what you liked about the relationship & what you hated.

Figure you who you are. when you get into a relationship it becomes a we propisition. No matter how miserable the relationship was you were hardwired into we mode.

Try doing more things that you enjoy. Focus on yourself for a while & you will be all the better for it. The last thing you want to do right now is drag another person into you unhappiness. That is a recipie for disaster.

I'm sorry Armadian Cheese, but this just throws your entire asexuality argument out the window. It all comes back to that primal instict you supposedly over come.

Now that I got the cheap dig out of the way.

As for forgetting you love her, just remember, as I recall your 15 or so (I could be entirely wrong on that, it has been several months) if thats so, just remember this. After a little while, it'll pass. It's just you wanting to do primal instict things which you supposedly "got past."

If your older (and I honestly don't remember) I suggest isolation from the subject of your affection. At first it might not seem like it'll work, but after a while it will. Or you just ask her out, mess around with her for a bit and decide what about your asexuality was such a good thing. Especially seeing as your base arguments for it were that it was "dirty and primitive."

Just wondering why you would try to change someones sexuality? And how trying to get someone to change themselves could possibly benefit you in any way?

Just wondering why you would try to change someones sexuality? And how trying to get someone to change themselves could possibly benefit you in any way?
I think you misunderstand,lemme see if I can find a link to a thread he created a while ago, that is long since dead.

looks liek I don't have one, but the basic premise was him trying to get rid of sex. I only rememebr this becasue I was one of the main, if not the only person who consistantly stayed and argued against him. And I was also pretty much the only one who made valid arguments besides

"Ur Gay U fag!!!!!1111one+shift"

and similar such mind provoking messages as

"D00d g37 la1d!!!!!!!11111one"

Ok, here's what you need to do. If it's legally possible, go out and get drunk. Really drunk. When you get over your hangover, go to your computer and play Quake.
Play Quake until your fingers bleed. Play Quake until you know every monster off by heart and you can run the final stage with your eyes closed. Play Quake until you eyes are bloodshot and you're having heart palpitations from the amount of coffee you've been drinking.
And, when you look out on the pale light of dawn, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. For you will be wise in the way of Quake, and love will be small and insignificant compared to the power you wield at your fingertips.

You could kill the person you're in love with, although there are obvious downside risks to such an action.

Booze... some soul search & destroy(ing)... but mainly booze.

Dude, follow the trend! Sit in your room in the dark listening to emo, then try (and fail, this is very important for both authenticities sake and because I respect you) to slash your wrists! Cry a lot.

Note: This may or may not have been serious advice.

Just time. If there is a genuine love, you may always feel affection and tenderness to that person. But "being in love" is a kind of chemical situation, created by the new relationship, leading to constant thoughts of the person, physical arousal and desire, nervousness, the lot. Eventually, whether you are with the person or not, these feelings fade. That's why a relationship will change after a year or two of marriage...hopefully, it deepens, if there is something there besides that "in love" feeling. In your case, it should go away quickly.

There are two thoughts I have on this:

1) Get married. This seems to turn even the most amorous of lovebirds into a screaming, loathing row of bitterness and despair. It could be expensive, and I'm only going on the experiences of those around me; I've not wanted to try it myself.

2) You don't. But why would you want to? It's rather pleasant. After a while it mostly fades away, but whenever you think about them or talk to them you have this warm, glowy feeling... And you can start seeing someone else when you get around to it, but keep the warm glowy feeling towards the first person too.

Not even cynicism can save you, though. Hasn't saved me and I'm the second most cynical person I've ever met ;)

2) You don't. But why would you want to? It's rather pleasant. After a while it mostly fades away, but whenever you think about them or talk to them you have this warm, glowy feeling... And you can start seeing someone else when you get around to it, but keep the warm glowy feeling towards the first person too.

Trust me, after a while that "warm, glowy feeling" starts to burn.

As someone else has already said, you don't - you die.

if you really do truely love her you always will, that pain and the hole it leaves inside never reallt goes away. you can't switch it off all you can do is try and supress it and ignore it until its managable, this can be done by getting really really drunk or spending lots of time by yourself and reflecting on your innerself and the relationship.

The only solution is to cast aside your anti-love beliefs.because what use will you be to the anti-love movement if you are in love?if you really are anti-love you'll just get out of their way and enjoy love.

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?

go out and meet some new people

it's like when a dog dies... people are so broken up about it, right up until they bring a new puppy home and begin to fall in love with it.

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars."
{snip}
...get out of love?

Hoping no one mentioned this already.
How? Marry her...

b

People fall in and out of love all the time. What people don't realize is that they aren't in love - they are in a crush that they believe is the "real thing". This is why adolescent relationships sicken me. People at the ages of 15 think they have found the person they will marry and spend their lives with. Even people in their mid to late 20s get such delusions and end in a miserably failed relationship.

Firstly, go read up on what "love" really is. I won't spoil it for you here, but let me tell you, it takes away the childish visions of romance well enough.

Secondly, as someone already suggested, make a list of faults. Every little thing that you didn't like, every little quirk you were annoyed by, each feature you could imagine as being better. When someone is "in love", one of the first things to go is a realistic idea of what the person they have a crush on is truly like, and instead, they idealize that person so that they become near-perfect beings in their minds. These illusions will get a lot of guys and girls in trouble, as it will lead them to fall for an unfaithful, ignorant, or abusive person. Writing such a list will help you to push through the illusions.

Lastly, find someone else. Nothing takes your mind off a girl like another girl. I certainly don't advocate womanizing, but meeting other girls is one thing that is certain to help.

In the meantime, the adrenaline and subsequent energy boost is incredibly helpful to you. I remember one crush I had a while ago made me feel like running around the block a dozen times and lifting 150 pounds over my head. So I did. By the time I had gotten over my little fling and the energy had passed, I had gained some 30 pounds in muscle. For someone else, I was able to do what I had only considered for a while before, and taught myself a language. What it comes down to is that you can exploit those short-term feelings to do yourself some actual long-term good.

Trust me, after a while that "warm, glowy feeling" starts to burn.
I think that happened a couple of years ago. It's back to warm and glowy again now.
It's all been rather interesting to think about, really. Glad it happened in my twenties and not when I was an over-hormoned teenager - I might've missed it.

Hmmm...Keruvalia, again your words ooze with wisdom. C'mon! People can't possibly stay in love forever! There must be some way out of it!
Enough Prozac or Valium would take care of your worries.

Possible solutions:

1) Flood your mind and soul with anything and EVERYTHING else, always be with other people, talking about completely unrelated things, surround yourself with books and reams and reams of papers you printed off the internet. Just squish that fuzzy, warm feeling into yourself until you can't feel it anymore. (Not really a solution, but if all else fails. Also, destroy everything that reminds you of her, even your house if necessary.)

2) Fall into a drunken stupor that will last the rest of your life. Supplement with crack cocaine, transfer your love from this girl to Mary Jane. (Expensive, mostly illegal, kills your chance to get jobs at a LOT of places.)

3) Brain damage. Massive, massive brain damage. If you can't remember her, you can't remember loving her. Lobotomy may be viewed as this, as well.

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?
You aren't asexual.

It really is that simple.

You've been told this before.

How Do I Stop Being In Love?
You don't; and you shoudn't want to.

Whether you are asexual or sexual, you still need love.

How does one...

...get out of love?

Honestly? You wait it out. Crap advice, I know, but the only true answer you will get. Hurts like hell for a bit, then you start to see everything negative about them, and after a while manage to reach a state of relative apathy on the matter.

Failing that you could have been at a deeper connection than I attained and could be stuck feeling that way forever.

cheery thought, isn't it?

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?

Solutions to Getting Out of Love

1. Recognize (if you are truely asexual) that love is futile and you are only hurting yourself. Forget about it and move on...

If that fails

2. Work out your feelings in constructive tasks that bring full-fillment and lead to a gradual forgetting. Perhaps throw time and energy into friendships or community involvement...

or if that does not work

3. Get phycolological help. They have various stratigies for dealing with such personal dualisms. You could have false memories planted so as to forget the love (it has been proven to work with dieting by making people hate their comfort foods).

if you are truely at wits end

4. Take medications/drugs to make the bad feelings go away.

Not to be rude, but am I the only one who saw the thread title, then saw the poster, and then laughed out loud?

On topic, just wait it out. The feelings will eventually fade. If they don't, you're fucked. Quite possibly literally.

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?

First write some lame poetry about how you feel.

Second scream your poetry while 3-4 of your friends frantically bang on instruments behind you.

Thirdly get 5-20 people to disinterestedly watch you do this.

Emo boys get no love.

Find something to hate about this person.

just screw her best friend...or her sister...or both!!!!!!!!

yes, both!

Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...

:fluffle:

i fell in love twenty years ago...
somehow it finds its way back again.
there is no cure for love but more love.

Hmmm...While I didn't go back to this thread, I took some of the advice to heart (no pun intended), mainly the ones about distraction, time, and distance (booze was tempting, I'll admit---but I just turned 16), and the criticisms of the person I loved just came naturally after that.

I must admit, the whole process is disillusioning. The girl you practically worshipped just becomes a mere mortal, and instead of blaming yourself for the entire disaster, you tend to realizethat a lot of it was her fault, and that much of the time she was simply using you for personal emotional gain. It's sad really, but a good lesson.

And yes, it was actual love. Not true, "forever together" love, but not just a crush, either. How can I tell? Firstly, it took me a damn long time to get over. Secondly, I've had crushes before, and as part of my efforts to become asexual, I've easily wiped them from my mind. This one lass somehow managed to seep into my mind, coloring my thoughts without end, consuming my soul. I couldn't destroy it, and it drove me into the depths of madness and irrationality.

And yes, I concede, Nation of Fortune, I'm not asexual. Emotionally, I can be extremely heterosexual, and physically I'm very, very, very mildly heterosexual. (I'm blessed with low libido) However, I've decided that I'm creating a new category for myself:

Anti-sexual.

That's right. I am firmly opposed to sexuality and romance in my mind, and will focus my mental abilities on keeping the mind in control rather than emotions or hormones.

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?
When romantic love is not reciprocated it ceases to be romantic love. What is left is a sense of longing for the romantic love.. You miss it.

The best way to get over it? Mourn it briefly then move on. The more dignity and self-respect you have them better you will carry yourself through this ordeal. Love yourself a bit.

You die.

I don't mean that as an insult, either. True love with follow you - daming as it can be - until your existence ceases. You'll love them when you are happy with them, when you are angry with them, when you are close to them, when you are far away from them.

Love is perhaps the strongest of all human emotions, and once its sunk it's teeth into you, you may as well accept it's there to stay. The best you can do is just try to ignore it, and it will eventually fade into the background somewhat.

Kind of like the sound of traffic, you get used to it and barely notice it.

That is probably the most amazing and horribly true description of love I have ever heard, well done :)

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?


Time. Find something else.. someone else. Someone previously stated that being in love follows you. I know I have been in love.. and now that I am not ever around them, or hear from them.. I'm good.

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?

As far as I know, asexuality has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you can fall in love with someone. All asexuality really means is that you don't feel sexual attraction, emotional attraction is a different matter. Not to mention that being asexual isn't something you choose to be, it's just something that you are, so if you are feeling sexual attraction to a person then you're not technically asexual. You could have been at one point, and you could be at some other point, but it isn't something you can force, just like any human sexuality.

However, you can be celibate or something like 'antisexual' if the thought of actually giving into sexual desire is so troublesome. But that's still not the same as being asexual.

That [/I] was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. How does one......get out of love?

Well Get MAD :headbang: focus on all the little things that annoyed you (not the little things you liked).

Then:
DON'T call her to listen to her voice mail.
DON"T hang out her house - you'll get arrested
BURN stuff (sheets, pictures, her undies) not when you're crying. Remember to do that OUTSIDE
DISINFECT things you can't burn (kitchen table, floor, etc.), no cooties in your space anymore
DON"T go to her favorite places. You know, the store & sitting on the little chair where you sat & waited on her to show you a new pair of shoes
DO things you liked to do - hold the remote, flip through the channels, don't clean your room until it bothers YOU
Get in touch with friends she didn't care for.
Listen & follow advice of the song "Jose Cuerivo" but don't do it for over a month
Listen to sappy love songs when you can't be mad (not YOUR song)

We've all been through it, life goes on, it hurts, its' not fun or easy,and you don't want to hear that right now...

Starry

I just turned 16

OMG I just went back & read that - sweetie.....

I just went through this with my 16 almost 17 year old boy.
She was older & pushing him for more sexuality than he was ready to offer.

That first relationship break up is the hardest one.
You WILL go through this again & it gets easier each time. You may feel no one understands what you truely feel, that you'll never let someone in that far again. That's OK to feel.

Feel bad - it hurts - sit in your dark room - avoid her & feel bad each time you see her. It's OK. Your feelings are real & it's OK to feel them. It's OK to sit & cry when you're alone.

LOL put a padlock on your belt loops - that got a high school friend more interest from girls than when he was looking for someone. As soon as he took it off, girls weren't interested anymore :p

Don't dwell on what YOU did wrong or what YOU could have done differently. You can only do what you know how to do.
Over 50% of adult marriages end in divorce - I know that's not comforting - but if adults can't do it well, how can a 16 year old deal with a relationship? :confused:
You live & learn -- each relationship will get better, each one will end better.

Eventually you will find someone who is around more than 6 months, a year, 3 years, 7 years - lol - then you know you got a "keeper".

Starry

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?


You are very confused and need professional help. See a shrink as soon as you can, in the meantime drink a lot of booze. :D

Imagine them in a steak suit.

You are very confused and need professional help. See a shrink as soon as you can, in the meantime drink a lot of booze. :D

LMAO -- everyone needs to see a shrink -- would make life easier for all of us :cool: Bubbles & Crayons are the answer !
They'd tell ya to see a psychiatrist who'd prescribe large amounts of psychatric drugs (which you can't drink with) & a stint in the psych ward.

Starry

Imagine them in a steak suit.
Erm...Yeah...Now she just looks delicious.

I guess turning from love to cannibalism is one method...

Erm...Yeah...Now she just looks delicious.

I guess turning from love to cannibalism is one method...
Wha'-?
That's messed up! You scare me now! Asexuality doesn't bother me at all (and don't get laid, it's probably not worth it), but eating those you love! *plays "Mein Teil*
Just let it go away. You'll still love her and even want her, but it will dim with time (although you'll secretly hope she'll start liking you). Happened to me recently… mortal weaknesses!

Wha'-?
That's messed up! You scare me now! Asexuality doesn't bother me at all (and don't get laid, it's probably not worth it), but eating those you love! *plays "Mein Teil*
Just let it go away. You'll still love her and even want her, but it will dim with time (although you'll secretly hope she'll start liking you). Happened to me recently… mortal weaknesses!
Well, that guy suggested imagining her in a steak suit...

I like steak. And note the first post, I've done a progress report.

Well, that guy suggested imagining her in a steak suit...

I like steak. And note the first post, I've done a progress report. Yeah, I noticed.
Love is not very good. People make fun of you. :( *sniff* They don't understand.

Yeah, but at least I'm out of love, so now I can join the make-fun side! Heh. Damn lovebirds!

Yeah, but at least I'm out of love, so now I can join the make-fun side! Heh. Damn lovebirds! Don't look at me, I'm not a lovebird. No one's ever been in love with me… or if they have, they've kept it a damn good secret.

Are you still planning to stay alone for the rest of your life? Curious.

Don't look at me, I'm not a lovebird. No one's ever been in love with me… or if they have, they've kept it a damn good secret.

Are you still planning to stay alone for the rest of your life? Curious.
No one's been in love with me, either. The most annoying ones are the ones who are in love, because it makes them horribly annoying.

And of course I'm planning on staying alone! For several reasons.

1. I'm sick of love. It consumes you and drains you, taking away all energy from other duties. It is also a waste of time and money. Also, it makes you act irrationally.
2. Being an idiot with a horrid personality and looks to match, it's not as if I have much choice anyway.

No one's been in love with me, either. The most annoying ones are the ones who are in love, because it makes them horribly annoying.

And of course I'm planning on staying alone! For several reasons.

1. I'm sick of love. It consumes you and drains you, taking away all energy from other duties. It is also a waste of time and money. Also, it makes you act irrationally.
2. Being an idiot with a horrid personality and looks to match, it's not as if I have much choice anyway.
But if you do go through the dark path (so to speak), you know, getting married eventually and all that, then you get:
1] Someone to depend on all your life
2] Never alone again. Good and bad… just send them to the in-laws occasionally.
3] Kids!

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?
EDIT: Several Months Later...

Hmmm...While I didn't go back to this thread, I took some of the advice to heart (no pun intended), mainly the ones about distraction, time, and distance (booze was tempting, I'll admit---but I just turned 16), and the criticisms of the person I loved just came naturally after that.

I must admit, the whole process is disillusioning. The girl you practically worshipped just becomes a mere mortal, and instead of blaming yourself for the entire disaster, you tend to realizethat a lot of it was her fault, and that much of the time she was simply using you for personal emotional gain. It's sad really, but a good lesson.

And yes, it was actual love. Not true, "forever together" love, but not just a crush, either. How can I tell? Firstly, it took me a damn long time to get over. Secondly, I've had crushes before, and as part of my efforts to become asexual, I've easily wiped them from my mind. This one lass somehow managed to seep into my mind, coloring my thoughts without end, consuming my soul. I couldn't destroy it, and it drove me into the depths of madness and irrationality.

And yes, I concede, Nation of Fortune, I'm not asexual. Emotionally, I can be extremely heterosexual, and physically I'm very, very, very mildly heterosexual. (I'm blessed with low libido) However, I've decided that I'm creating a new category for myself:

Anti-sexual.

That's right. I am firmly opposed to sexuality and romance in my mind, and will focus my mental abilities on keeping the mind in control rather than emotions or hormones.


This is the dumbest post I've read this month...and I read a lot of posts. But since you're only 16 you'll soon grow up and get some sense in that head of yours. Hopefully.

But if you do go through the dark path (so to speak), you know, getting married eventually and all that, then you get:
1] Someone to depend on all your life
2] Never alone again. Good and bad… just send them to the in-laws occasionally.
3] Kids!
1] I've always been self reliant. I don't like having to depend on people, and I don't think I'm worthy enough of having someone depend on me.
2] That's what friends are for. It's convenient, because friendship is not unconditional, and they don't stay at your house for all time.
3] And this is positive how...?

1] I've always been self reliant. I don't like having to depend on people, and I don't think I'm worthy enough of having someone depend on me.
2] That's what friends are for. It's convenient, because friendship is not unconditional, and they don't stay at your house for all time.
3] And this is positive how...?

bet your just pissed because know one love's you :p

I got a girlfriend who wovs me :D (all this just to annoy you)

Nah. I was pissed at the time of the loveyness, yes, but my unlovability is something I accept. And I've been anti-love long before I realized my unlovability.

I'll accept your vows of Anti-sexuality

and while I'm at it, I utterly hate North Carolina. I never plan to visit my grandparents for an extended amount of time. I might come back to NC, but never to spend more than a day with my grandparents.

Meh, hopefully you will accept these emotions at some point. I tend to have extremely powerful emotions and when I feel something for a female I tend to have sleeping problems, eating problems, concentration problems and possibly even psychosomatic disorders(I don't really know but whenever I feel like this there is a greater probability it seems that I develope diarrhea or something).

I also tend to be a hard to love loner, the only difference is that I plan to be sexual because I want to have a great empire and oppress all of the people I hate and prove that I am better than they are. Sure it is an evil drive but it is better than some of the other drives that people have. The only way to have an empire is to build a dynasty. :D

But if you do go through the dark path (so to speak), you know, getting married eventually and all that, then you get:
1] Someone to depend on all your life
2] Never alone again. Good and bad… just send them to the in-laws occasionally.
3] Kids!

1. I hate dependence.
2. I hate people.
3. I hate kids.

;)

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality.

Oh dear.... the poster who couldn't tell the difference between asexuality and celibacy.... *sigh*

I think your problem is that you take love (and its opposites) to the extreme.

Sure, you fell headlong in love the first time. So does everyone. And yes, now that it's over, you realize that a lot of it was illusion. That's part of the learning process.

Once you've been around the block a few times, you realize that nobody is perfect for you, nor are you perfect for them. So, if you're mature, you stop expecting perfection. That way, when the other person's imperfections (or yours) arise, it doesn't automatically mean the end of the relationship. You learn to work through these things.

It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing affair (pun semi-intentional). If you become anti-love because love can go bad, you miss out on all the good things that happen when it goes right. And it takes a while to find the person with whom it can go right. Most people have to try a few times before it works.

Which means, statistically, that most relationships don't work out. If you count any relationship that ends as having "failed", then all but one of mine have "failed", and one has succeeded wildly. For me, the time spent was worth it.

So you might want to wait a bit before rejecting love out of hand. There are options other than total rejection and total enslavement.

:p

Hello there. Some of you may remember me as a veteran from NS's "asexual wars." (New Anthrax, I, and a few other battled heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals in an epic struggle to convert them to asexuality. Needless to say, all we got was a few serious debaters who refused to convert and 2,000 people who said 'Dude get laid') Anyhow, let me get to the point. My asexual and anti-love shields were breached by a certain lovely girl whom I shall not name, and I fell head over heels in love. That was a horrific disaster on the scale of the Titanic. The relationship is over now, and I'm back to being asexual and anti-love, but the problem is that I'm still in love! Obviously, you can see the problems this causes an anti-lover who hates love because it consumes the mind and overrides rationality.

So, my NS friends/enemies/Space Jews, I ask for thine aid. How does one...

...get out of love?
EDIT: Several Months Later...

Hmmm...While I didn't go back to this thread, I took some of the advice to heart (no pun intended), mainly the ones about distraction, time, and distance (booze was tempting, I'll admit---but I just turned 16), and the criticisms of the person I loved just came naturally after that.

I must admit, the whole process is disillusioning. The girl you practically worshipped just becomes a mere mortal, and instead of blaming yourself for the entire disaster, you tend to realizethat a lot of it was her fault, and that much of the time she was simply using you for personal emotional gain. It's sad really, but a good lesson.

And yes, it was actual love. Not true, "forever together" love, but not just a crush, either. How can I tell? Firstly, it took me a damn long time to get over. Secondly, I've had crushes before, and as part of my efforts to become asexual, I've easily wiped them from my mind. This one lass somehow managed to seep into my mind, coloring my thoughts without end, consuming my soul. I couldn't destroy it, and it drove me into the depths of madness and irrationality.

And yes, I concede, Nation of Fortune, I'm not asexual. Emotionally, I can be extremely heterosexual, and physically I'm very, very, very mildly heterosexual. (I'm blessed with low libido) However, I've decided that I'm creating a new category for myself:

Anti-sexual.

That's right. I am firmly opposed to sexuality and romance in my mind, and will focus my mental abilities on keeping the mind in control rather than emotions or hormones.


It's ok...you're only 16....it will get worse, and better...

I remember being a member of the He-Man Woman haters club. Didn't get me far, but my band got a bunch of great songs out of it.

Oh dear.... the poster who couldn't tell the difference between asexuality and celibacy.... *sigh*
Mind you, I thought I was asexual at the time. Now I realize I'm not. (Kind of odd, I fell in love before I became physically attracted to anyone...)

....you should meet my cousin he hates everyone and thinks that its stupid to get into a relationship because love always dulls

...On the otherhand he's damn good in philosophy and pychology classes

"How Do I Stop Being In Love?"

Since love is a decision, decide that you're no longer in love, and then act as if you aren't. :)

I have no clue how to get out of love dude, TG me if you figure it out.

I just left a 4 year relationship with someone who I really loved. To be honest, I was torn up for just 30 minutes. I just looked back at the good times we have and I am thankful for the time we did have. Besides, there are others out there just be patient.

I don't know. It's been 5 1/2 years. If you figure it out, let me know. I'll buy the book.

Ah... It's good to see there are deviants from even deviancy.

And an example of what purified iron would be without any of the qualities of the more desirable alloy. Possibly at least. Or perhaps just European food incarnate.

"How Do I Stop Being In Love?"

Since love is a decision, decide that you're no longer in love, and then act as if you aren't. :)
Yup. This is very good advice, I second it. The more out of love you act, the more out of love you'll be.

One Word: Masturbate

One Word: Masterbate

*grammarian assault!*

*masturbation nation

Masturbation's good, yeah- Alcohol Is also very good (even if you're only 16- though I appreciate the problem of getting your hands of some if you are Hailing from America - Us English don't have such problems...)

Mind you, I thought I was asexual at the time. Now I realize I'm not. (Kind of odd, I fell in love before I became physically attracted to anyone...) When you're in love with someone, you experience an old half-chilly half-warm electric feeling whenever you see them. It's not physical attraction, it's something different. Is that what you got?

When you're in love with someone, you experience an old half-chilly half-warm electric feeling whenever you see them. It's not physical attraction, it's something different. Is that what you got?
I do have that chilly feeling, still, but I also developed physical attraction towards females in general.

You don't choose who you fall in love with, and you can't choose to fall out of it.

If we could choose who we fell in love with then it'd be much easier.

But then, it'd also be a lot less magical.

Alcohol is a fairly good cure for 'being in love' syndrome. After a few beers, any and every girl looks far more appealing than your ex.

I want to ask something:

Why asexuality? Denying a distinct part of the fundamental nature of humanity strikes me as... A bit thick, really.

Also, these 'anti-love' people strike me as whiners who want some attention.