NationStates Jolt Archive

One of my students just turned this in as a speech in English. I was rather impressed and a little touched so I thought I would share it (Be nice now, she's been learning English for just three years and is 14).

Just the Way You Are
By Ayanami Rei (Yes, I DID change the name)

“You don’t have to change yourself to get along with other people. You don’t have to deny yourself, you are ok, just the way you are.”

We often hear the words “You’re ok just the way you are” or “Be yourself”, but a lot of people ask themselves, “What is the way I am?” or “When do I find myself behaving honestly?” What do you think? Can you tell me the moment when you find yourself being honestly yourself? I know it is difficult for me to answer that question, but I think it would be wonderful if everyone could live his or her life being their true selves.

In my opinion, the meaning of “be yourself” is not to hide your true self too much. Just like I do, people tend to block their negative parts and try to show themselves off as being perfect. For example, we agree with the opinions of others, even if we have our own. When we talk, we care about saying the right or perfect thing too much; therefore we cannot use our own expressions. I know it would be great if we could get rid of all the negative parts of our character completely, but that would be confusing. I think that it’s important for us to keep the balance of our character, having both positive and negative sides. When only the positive side remains, we won’t be able to recognize which is positive or negative, and finally, we will be in trouble.

I had a reason why I hid my true self. I was afraid of being disliked by others and I was always afraid of being alone. Everyday I tried to behave by hiding my negative parts and I would get really, really tired.

For example, I belong to the brass band club at school and play the flute there, but I am not good at reading the musical score. This is because I started reading the scores for the first time when I moved up to junior high school; and moreover, high-pitched, toned, instruments like woodwinds, especially flutes, have a lot of fast parts and difficult rhythms. When I was in the first and second grades, I used to be taught how to read by a reliable senior all the time. I was always longing to be able to read the score like them and thinking ‘I want to be a senior like them someday’, but the reality would be different. Although I have made progress in reading scores little by little, I am still afraid of playing incorrectly. Even for the parts I can read, I am still being taught how to, now by my juniors. So now I think that I am not cool, because I cannot play proudly. ‘Now I am the senior, so I should be teaching them’, I often think.

Another example, one day we had a party for my class. We were cooking and our AET came to the party and talked with us in English. The AET said “Frying pan” and some boys repeated “Frying pan” exactly as they heard it. Although I knew the word, I said “Furaipan”. I wasn’t sure if I could pronounce it correctly. I wish I had repeated it without hesitating like the boys did. Every time I hesitate to say what I want to, I always regret it later. I always think that I would be hated if I repeatedly make mistakes.

But, I got used to thinking and behaving like that, and it became a natural way for me to believe. That’s why I always denied my true self and I couldn’t say what I really wanted to say.

It wasn’t me.

Now, though, I have an opportunity to express myself the way I want to. It’s when I am speaking English. I can’t speak it fluently; though, when I use English, I can relax and I don’t care about my negative part. Right now, I am very relaxed. I will try to show my true self, like how I am now, little by little, without English. And I will be just the way I am.

Would you like to start to find them moment when you show your true self? It’s important to know your own positive and negative parts, and you should accept them both. Let’s consider both sides as being you and tell yourself, “It’s ok to have them!” Then you will have a more wonderful life! Even if we cannot do it today, we can do it tomorrow. We will change ourselves from the fake to the real day by day. After all, there is no person exactly the same as me, or you, in the whole world, so why should we hide?

Finally, I would like to tell you all one more time, “You don’t have to change yourself to get along with other people. You don’t have to deny yourself. You’re ok, just the way you are!”

Thank you.

I hope my kids grow up like that.

I'm impressed. Both by the mature, intelligent content, and the level of her speaking. I've been learning German for about the same amount of time she's been learning English, and I doubt I could compose an essay that eloquently, and I'm good at German.

Whoa, you know the Ayanami Rei. Oh wait, you changed the name. Tell me, is Japan really as bad as I've heard? I've heard that it's ultra-racist, ultra-sexist, ultra-collectivist, etc.

I'm impressed. Both by the mature, intelligent content, and the level of her speaking. I've been learning German for about the same amount of time she's been learning English, and I doubt I could compose an essay that eloquently, and I'm good at German.
She really surprised me on all those counts, usually because she is very quiet in class and does not speak all that often with me.

This is why I love teaching, and seeing my kids grow and devlope.

Whoa, you know the Ayanami Rei. Oh wait, you changed the name. Tell me, is Japan really as bad as I've heard? I've heard that it's ultra-racist, ultra-sexist, ultra-collectivist, etc.
It's the same as every other country, a bit more group orientated that the West, but in all honesty, I have found wonderful people here, and assholes. I ahve found free thinkers and individuals, and those too concerned with apperence.

Some overly sexist things, and areas where equality reigns.

In other words, Japan really is the same as every other country in the world. But I still love it here.

In other words, Japan really is the same as every other country in the world. But I still love it here.

Ditto to that.

She really surprised me on all those counts, usually because she is very quiet in class and does not speak all that often with me.

This is why I love teaching, and seeing my kids grow and devlope.

Well, you're obviously doing something right..so keep it up.

Well, you're obviously doing something right..so keep it up.
*LOL* I wish I could claim credit, but not really. I just help them from time to time, it's my kids who are really are the ones doing something.

It's the same as every other country, a bit more group orientated that the West, but in all honesty, I have found wonderful people here, and assholes. I ahve found free thinkers and individuals, and those too concerned with apperence.

Some overly sexist things, and areas where equality reigns.

In other words, Japan really is the same as every other country in the world. But I still love it here.

I mean on average, how bad is it?

I mean on average, how bad is it?

Same as every other country. No less, no more. That should suffice as an answer. Stereotypes be damned.

*LOL* I wish I could claim credit, but not really. I just help them from time to time, it's my kids who are really are the ones doing something.

Damn. I was gonna claim credit, then. Sounds like you have some great kids, though. What made you start teaching? From what I've gathered, you're an American teacher in Japan, am I correct?

Same as every other country. No less, no more. That should suffice as an answer. Stereotypes be damned.

Not to an opponent of racism, sexism, and collectivism. If it bothers you to talk about it, I won't push the issue further, though.

I mean on average, how bad is it?
*LOL* On average? On average how bad is America?

Seriously, it is a nation like any other. Most Japanese do hold an ideal that no one else can understand or be like them (The joke being that for Americans in Japan, it's the culture that thinks everyone wants to be like them meeting the culture that thinks no one can be like them). But honestly I have never been the target of racism, I HAVE seen attitudes I think of as sexist, but then again I'm also from a different culture and have different values. As for conservative, yes, broadly speaking. I find Japan to be more conservative than San Francisco, but not more so than the midwest states.

And it IS changing, slowly, much more slowly than change comes to the US, but it has changed quite a bit. But in all honesty, you're going to find people like the folks who run the local international friendship club who love anytime they can talk with me, to wingnuts who blaim me for Japan's defeat.

Just like everywhere else in the world.

If you want to know Japan, I'd recomend going and reading a number of books that look at the culture, including a few histories, and do what I did, I read the Japan Times and other English language newspapers out of Japan for a number of years before I came over here, so I learned a lot about the culture and didn't get disapointed when I got over here.

Not to an opponent of racism, sexism, and collectivism. If it bothers you to talk about it, I won't push the issue further, though.

What bothered me is that you were fishing for a negative.
Japan has its issues sure, as does most places. I've seen them pop up here and there, but not at much more or frequency than I've seen in the US or in England. And as NERVUN said, things are changing. He's given a few good suggestions, but on top of that I'd suggest actually coming to Japan for a bit. Reading up is good, but first hand experience is great.

Of course, before you can be yourself, you need to know yourself, or else you're just another trend follower.

Damn. I was gonna claim credit, then. Sounds like you have some great kids, though. What made you start teaching? From what I've gathered, you're an American teacher in Japan, am I correct?
I was blessed by an absolutly remarkable junior high school special education teacher who turned my life around (It should be noted that I wasn't one of the bad kids, it was more I was highly intelligent and extreamly introverted. I spent my time with my nose in a book). She inspired me to teach and that's what I did.

Teaching English in Japan came from a love and interest in Japan from a very long time back and another awsome professor who guided me into the exchange program I am in after I compleated my master degree.

And yes, I do have some AWSOME kids.

Not to an opponent of racism, sexism, and collectivism. If it bothers you to talk about it, I won't push the issue further, though.

The point being though, is that Japan and Japanese values are very different. Fpr racism, I haven't encountered it, but I am the ONLY American around for miles. Honestly, I am the only non-asian face around for miles and being 6'2", I attract a lot of attention. I'm very different and that means that for many Japanese who have not met gaikokujin before, I am interesting and they want to know about me and my way of life. For sexism, I do see it, or what I think of as it, but then I've also run into Japanese women who think it's fine. It also should be stated that Japanese women also have more control over various aspects of their lives than some western women do. And, it is changing.

As for collectiveism, this is hard. It should be noted that in Japan, the thing to be wary of is shame. We Westerners work by guilt, we are supposed to feel guilty if we do something wrong, Japanese culture goes by shame, you are shamed before others if you do something wrong and are caught. Also, Japan does not have a lot of room and so a highly developed culture of privacy and consideration for others has developed to allow them to get along in a society that is literally on top of each other. Harmony, making sure everyone agrees is far more important than stating your own case (as my student wrote about). And again, this too is changing.

But trust me, Japanese are individuals, they are just as individualistic as Americans, they just don't feel the need to shove it down everyone's throat like Americans do and work hard to make sure than people around them are not shamed or look bad, because everyone around them is doing the same for them.

Your actual milage with real Japanese people will vary of course. ;)

What bothered me is that you were fishing for a negative.

When you consider all the horrible things I've heard about it, it's not surprising, really.

When you consider all the horrible things I've heard about it, it's not surprising, really.
It's not horrible, at least I don't think so. I love living here, I really do. I find the people here nice, the country beautiful, the food wonderful, and all-in-all, Japan is a pleasent place to live. If my fiancee so wants, I would have no qualms about staying here and never perminately returning to the United States.

She really surprised me on all those counts, usually because she is very quiet in class and does not speak all that often with me.

This is why I love teaching, and seeing my kids grow and devlope.


I have a friend of mine that is a high-school english teacher.

We were talking one day, and I said to him, "You know how everyone has that one teacher they remember from school that really changed thier lives?"

"Yeah", he said.

"If you can become that person to at least one student, its all worth it."

"If you can become that person to at least one student, its all worth it."
Yup! And it makes up for all the REST of the students you have to put up with! ;)