NationStates Jolt Archive

Who is the best character on the show? I'd say either Apu or Krusty.

Homer, clearly. Or did you mean non-Simpson Simpsons character?

Sideshow Bob or Sideshow Mel

No, wait, I got it! It is Disco Stu

I like that kid that says; "Ha! Ha!"

I like that kid that says; "Ha! Ha!"Nelson

Homer is god.
Granpa Abe Simpson has had some cool lines too.

I really like Mr.Burns.

And the manager from "Costingtons"...."YES!!!"

can i say blinky the fish??? but if it has to be human i would say macbain just for the sheer crazyness.

Homer is god.
Granpa Abe Simpson has had some cool lines too.
Cool lines? He had a whole episode about him

Homer is the best obviously.

As for non-Simpsons, Willie makes me laugh a lot. Nelson is great too, and the Comic Book Guy. And Mr. Burns. Christ, it's like picking your favorite child.

Comic Book Guy
Best. Character. Ever!
:D

Duff-Man. OH YEAH!!

And the Simpon's attorny. I can't think of his name.

My third favorate has to be the guy who owns the military antique store.

Cool lines? He had a whole episode about him
Yeah, but when I think about Abe I usually remember bit parts he played in other episodes that were really funny. Like when Homer wanted to join the Stonecutters and he found out that he could join if his father was a stonecutter.

Abe: "I'm a stonecutter, a mason, an elk, a communist, the president of the gay and lesbian association for some reason..."

MacBain is the best :mp5: :sniper:

The worst character is Lisa, followed by Apu's family. The most overrated is Ralph.

Holy shit, I just got the answer handed down from the deity of your choice.

Duff-man.


Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem.
This grass needs a little H-2-Oh-Yeah

And the Simpon's attorny. I can't think of his name.


*slaps head* How could I forget Lionel Hutz. One of the classic characters played by Phil Hartman (RIP).

"I move for a bad court thingy."

"You mean a mistrial?"

"That's why you're the judge and I'm the law...talkin' guy."

I have a picture of him on my desk right in front of me.

Troy McClure is great as well.

I like gil "can't old gil ever get a break" ya know gil the really pitiful guy :D

I like gil "can't old gil ever get a break" ya know gil the really pitiful guy :D
It's funny, I just watched Glengarry Glenross, and until then I had no idea that Gil was a direct parody of Jack Lemmon's character in that movie. That's a fairly obscure reference.

skin-NERRRRRRR!

Why is it when I hear the words "school" and "explosion", I IMMEDIATELY THINK OF THE WORD SKINNER!?!?!

This is off the beaten path a little, but Superintendant Chalmers and Principal Skinner... their dialogue slays me. Did you guys see the one where Skinner had Chalmers over for dinner, making 'Steamed Hams'? Now thats good shit!

Don't forget Cletus, too.

Some of us ain't never lost a toe
But then again,
Some of us... like Cletus

The worst character is Lisa, followed by Apu's family. The most overrated is Ralph.


Ralph to a Wolf - "You smell like dead bunnies"

Rakph with urine blossoming in his pants- "Why does everyone always run away from me ?"

Hi im Troy Mclure, you may remember me from....

.... such medical films as "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore" and "Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?".

....such Do-It-Yourself home videos such as "The half-assed approach to foundation repair"

....such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!"

genius! :)

This is off the beaten path a little, but Superindendant Chalmers and Principal Skinner... their dialogue slays me. Did you guys see the one where Skinner had Chalmers over for dinner, making 'Steamed Hams'? Now thats good shit!




Did you see the one where the school was snowed in, the kids imprisoned Skinner in a dodge ball bag and Skinner actually asked the class mascot, a hampster, to "chew through my ball sack" ???

The gremlin... thing. How many times did 'he' die?

There are loads of great characters.

Duff-Man. OH YEAH!!

And the Simpon's attorny. I can't think of his name.

My third favorate has to be the guy who owns the military antique store.

Duff man kicks serious ass.

The attorney is Lionel Hutz

Homer.

But of the second stringers, Barney, Comic Book Guy, Duffman and Disco Stu are also great...

http://www.boomspeed.com/major_fubar/DiscoSTFU.JPG

Don't forget Cletus, too.

Some of us ain't never lost a toe
But then again,
Some of us... like Cletus
[comic book guy]

ahem, it goes...

"some folk'll never lose a toe
but then again, some folk'll,
like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel"

[/comic book guy]

don't forget Mole Man, Carl Carlson, the Mayor (forgot name) and Cheif Wiggum

The best of the minor characters is that dude in the Bee Costume.

Barney is awesome, especially in that epeisode where he sobers up and wins 1st prize at a film festival

Ralph Wiggum gave me my favourite response to the sensations a snort of meth produces "It tastes like burning!"

Of the main characters (in the family) I'd have to say Bart Simpson is the best, because of the incredible havoc he causes and his animal cunning and deviousness. He gave me another favourite line, this one is handy in MANY situations (especially if you happen to have bipolar disorder and are having a fun time being manic) "I didn't do it! Nobody saw me! You can't prove anything!"

don't forget Mole Man, Carl Carlson, the Mayor (forgot name) and Cheif Wiggum
Carl on his own is pretty nondescript. He's only funny as half of Lenny & Carl. The joke on the gay marriage episode about them is priceless.

Also, one of the best sight gags ever was the "Lenny=White; Carl=black" written on Homer's hand.

Barney is awesome, especially in that epeisode where he sobers up and wins 1st prize at a film festival


Those are two different episodes. When he sobers up he becomes a helicopter pilot.

Sorry, I take Simpsons trivia way too seriously.

I like Burnsie ;-)

Moe, best attitude ever
The lawyer guy, Lionel Hutz I think is his name
The random woman. She says she's a sexual predator and has a dozen jobs everywhere. :confused:
And Krusty "Please! No one likes a bipolar clown! *sob* AHAHAHAHAHA *sob* AHAHAHAHAHA"

"But Duffman, you said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to touch any drunks?"

Duffman replies, "Duffman says a lot of things, oh yeah!"

...

"New feelings... brewing... in Duffman--- What- Would-- Jesus Do?"

...

"Duffman can never die, only the actors who portray him"


Need I say more?

The lawyer guy, Lionel Hutz I think is his name
The random woman. She says she's a sexual predator and has a dozen jobs everywhere. :confused:
AHAHAHAHAHA"
Lindsay Nagel

Lenny saying:

"OW! My doctor said I shouldnt get pudding in that eye!"

"OW! My doctor said I shouldnt get puzzle pieces in that eye!"

Carl Carlson Quotes
Moe: Look, Homer, I'm really glad you're off that "wacky tobacky".
Lenny: Yeah, you were getting all spacey and everything. We were going to have an intervention.
Carl: But then I got alcohol poisoning during the planning. I nearly died! (everyone starts laughing)
Moe: I was already making up excuses not to go to your funeral! (everyone laughs harder)

- (drunk) We're your friends, Homer's kids' principal.


- Carl: It's all relative. I mean, is Lenny really that dumb, is Barney really that drunk, is Homer really that bald, fat, and lazy? [Lenny, Barney, and Homer look dejected; Carl turns to camera] See, this is why I don't talk much.

- "Any religion that embraces carob is not for Carl Carlson."

Lionel Hutz " I kind of ran over his dog"

Marge "That's terrible!"

Lionel " except replace kind of with repeatedly, and dog with son."

"We'll be rich, rich as Nazis."-- Mr. Burns

"Since the begining of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun." --Mr. Burns.

"I guess you could say I'm a well wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm." -- Moe

Those are two different episodes. When he sobers up he becomes a helicopter pilot.

Sorry, I take Simpsons trivia way too seriously.
BZZZZT! Wrong. I haven't even seen the helicopter pilot episode, but I did see an episode where Barney sobered up, made a film, submitted it to a film festival, winning first prize, a lifetime supply of beer.


You'll have to give me solid proof it didn't happen. If I see a show once and then see it 10 years later, within the first 30 seconds I'll remember the entire thing from 10 years back, albeit occasionaly with the order of events slightly out of whack.

Hans Moleman, for sure.

"Nobody's gay for Moleman..."

Well, Phil Hartman's characters all rock unconditionally... the "Steamed Hams" sketch is quite possibly my favorite scene in the whole series... Abe's ramblings are fantastic as is the way Mr. Burns fails to complete the simplest physical tasks... but when Homer says something that is just the right mix of dumb, but not TOO dumb... it is golden.

The worst character is Lisa, followed by Apu's family. The most overrated is Ralph.

Finally, someone said it.... Lisa, moreso the holier-than-thou, new-age, Bhuddist, vegetarian Lisa, is by far the worst character, and therefore sucks big fat donkey ones.
Nothing against new-age Bhuddist vegetarians, I just don't think you are all that funny. Apu's family is unnecessary and Ralph, while very funny, is usually overquoted. "I'm lernding!"

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

Duff-Man. OH YEAH!!

And the Simpon's attorny. I can't think of his name.

Lionel Shultz Attorney At Law


best character is and always will be Bleeding Gums Murphy....that guy had some soul

best character is and always will be Bleeding Gums Murphy....that guy had some soul

I dunno. He always seemed so unneccesary and definitely not funny

Those are two different episodes. When he sobers up he becomes a helicopter pilot.

Sorry, I take Simpsons trivia way too seriously.


Well Mr. I take Simpsons trivia too seriously watch it again because he does sober up and win the film festival.....dumbass

BZZZZT! Wrong. I haven't even seen the helicopter pilot episode, but I did see an episode where Barney sobered up, made a film, submitted it to a film festival, winning first prize, a lifetime supply of beer.




I know which episode you are talking about, but he didn't sober up in that episode. The movie was about him drinking. When they gave him the prize, he said that winning the award inspired him to sober up, but immediately afterwards they brought him his lifetime supply of beer and he told them to hook it to his veins. So basically he never sobered up.

Finally, someone said it.... Lisa, moreso the holier-than-thou, new-age, Bhuddist, vegetarian Lisa, is by far the worst character, and therefore sucks big fat donkey ones.
Nothing against new-age Bhuddist vegetarians, I just don't think you are all that funny.
Awww...but she's cute!

That aside, I think she just provides balance to the family. Otherwise the entire show would seem a tad retarded if everyone ran around acting like idiots.

Even Family Guy has a character similar to Lisa, Brian. Although Brian's cool because he drinks and licks his own balls. But you get the picture.

Well Mr. I take Simpsons trivia too seriously watch it again because he does sober up and win the film festival.....dumbass
Hey way to start shit and make yourself look like an idiot. You are straight up wrong. Sorry. Dumbass.

Not so much a favourite character (I couldn't possibly choose) but rather a favourite scene:

In the episode where Homer's Mom comes back and Mr Burns has the Simpson house surrounded by police, he's at the top of a tank, putting in a tape "Ah, I've waited 30 years for that moment" - then the Ride of the Valkyries starts out, only to suddenly change into Abba's Waterloo. The look on Burnses face is ab-so-lu-te-ly priceless :D

Lionel Shultz Attorney At Law


best character is and always will be Bleeding Gums Murphy....that guy had some soul
Meh. He was an extra extra at best. They just put him for a story or two and that's it.

Meh. He was an extra extra at best. They just put him for a story or two and that's it.

Don't tell me you didn't like the cloud-gag in the episode where he died?

Don't tell me you didn't like the cloud-gag in the episode where he died?
Okay that cracked me up. But still...

Know what's funny? People insulting each other over Simpsons trivia....about BARNEY!

Hey way to start shit and make yourself look like an idiot. You are straight up wrong. Sorry. Dumbass.

Here's the scene. So you are wrong. Shut up.

Jay: And now, the winner of the grand prize. [tears open an
envelope] Barney Gumbel!
Barney: What? Wow!
Burns: [shudders]
Marge: Homey, you voted for the right movie. I'm glad you were on the
jury. [kisses him]
Homer: Aw. You know something, Marge? It's not that tough being a
film cricket.
Barney: [at the podium] I've learned I have a gift to share with the
world. From now on, there'll be a new Barnard Gumbel:
hardworking, clean, and sober.
Quimby: Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your grand prize: a lifetime
supply of Duff beer.
Barney: Huh? [pulls up sleeve] Just hook it to my veins!

Finally, someone said it.... Lisa, moreso the holier-than-thou, new-age, Bhuddist, vegetarian Lisa, is by far the worst character, and therefore sucks big fat donkey ones.
Nothing against new-age Bhuddist vegetarians, I just don't think you are all that funny.

I don't think Lisa's designed to be funny so much as a foil for all the insanity around her. She's the pseudo-Everyman of the family.

Personally, I'm shocked that no one has mentioned Flanders yet... :)

Homer feeling queasy and stating:
"I guess I shouldnt have eaten that packet of dried gravy I found in the parking lot".

What about Milhouse? Doesn't anybody like Milhouse?

Personally, I'm shocked that no one has mentioned Flanders yet... :)

What I wanna know is how he got so muscely?

Krusty; the self hating jew who finds himself a regular antisemite...
sad, but possibly funny

What I wanna know is how he got so muscely?
Frequent praying. It does wonders for your biceps. :)

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

I know which episode you are talking about, but he didn't sober up in that episode. The movie was about him drinking. When they gave him the prize, he said that winning the award inspired him to sober up, but immediately afterwards they brought him his lifetime supply of beer and he told them to hook it to his veins. So basically he never sobered up.


Ahhh. Well, the point is more about how hilarious Barney can be. "Just hook it up to my veins!" being a case in point.

I haven't seen it but apparently there is an episode where its revealed a young Barney was on track to go to Harvard, but went drinking with Homer instead, and never did get to Harvard (or Yale or whatever)

True, or was the friend who told me just full of shit, as usual?

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!
Homer: Max Power doesn't make love! You strap yourself in and feel the G's!
Marge: Oh my...

Homer: Max Power doesn't make love! You strap yourself in and feel the G's!
Marge: Oh my...

Should have added that to the list of sweet things to say to your girlfriend

What about Milhouse? Doesn't anybody like Milhouse?
Its kind of hard to like a character whose entire reason for existence is to be the pathetic object of slapstick humour. Millhouse isn't much more than a prop. (IMHO)

Ralph is hilarious, but how the other characters interact with him is even funnier.

Mr. Burns slays me.

I am also very partial toward Lionel Hutz.

Lisa (ernestly): "Mr. Hutz, are you a scheister?"
Hutz (with a loving smile): "Now how does a little girl like you know such a big word like that?"

I would probably have to choose Hutz as my favorite.

Its kind of hard to like a character whose entire reason for existence is to be the pathetic object of slapstick humour. Millhouse isn't much more than a prop. (IMHO)

Milhouse is a prop, but the other characters work well with him. One of my favorites is when Lisa had a crush on Nelson. The conversation went something like this:

Lisa stated she likes Nelson "Because I see that underneath that bully attitude, there's a shy, sensitive, caring Nelson."
Milhouse: "I'M shy, sensitive, and caring!"
Lisa: "Yeah, well, I guess you could say that I like the Milhouse in Nelson."

Milhouse: "But I'm ALL Milhouse! And my mom says I'm the coolest guy in school!"

Lisa: "Oh, Milhouse, I could never think of you in that way. You're like my big sister."

What about Milhouse? Doesn't anybody like Milhouse?

"Nobody likes Milhouse!"

Personally, I'm shocked that no one has mentioned Flanders yet...

Hokaly dokaly. (or however you spell it) I love the episode where Homer takes Flanders to Vegas and they get married while drunk and don't remember it. That was classic.

And I almost forgot the Aliens.

And I loved the episode where a TV show uses Homer's name. (the same one where he changes his name to Max Power)

Bad guy 1: Oh no, its the police.

Bad guy 2: No, its the cops.

Bad guy 1: Worse! It's the police cops!



Did anyone else like the episode where Homer gets a dueling glove? (The same one with the tommaco)

"Glove slap, i don't take crap
Glove slap, shut your big yap"

Is there an episode where Homer and Flanders are arguing or something and Homer says "Well your wife is dead".

Its in the back of my mind but i cant find it online

Is there an episode where Homer and Flanders are arguing or something and Homer says "Well your wife is dead".

Its in the back of my mind but i cant find it online


I have a vague recollection of it too-Flanders says something like: "too bad, this or that"-very innocent and Homer replies with"Yeah, well too bad your wife is dead".

Very crude.


Another where Lisa says to Homer "What would you say if I told you about"-something that could cure hunger or lose weight-whatever- and Homer responds "I'd say you were a lying scum bag".

[comic book guy]

ahem, it goes...

"some folk'll never lose a toe
but then again, some folk'll,
like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel"

[/comic book guy]


Good eye! I knew I had it wrong... I just couldn't place the words at the time. I'm so lame that I had actually just logged back on especially to go correct that. :D

I haven't seen it but apparently there is an episode where its revealed a young Barney was on track to go to Harvard, but went drinking with Homer instead, and never did get to Harvard (or Yale or whatever)

Yeah, thats true. I think it was the beginning of the episode where Barney becomes an astronaut. Barney went drinking with Homer the night before he took the SAT or something... I don't think he drank until then.

Lionel Hutz " I kind of ran over his dog"

Marge "That's terrible!"

Lionel " except replace kind of with repeatedly, and dog with son."

tis classic...though fully, the joke goes like this,

Hutz: Ok Mrs. Simpson, we're going to take good care of...uh oh, we've drawn Judge Schnieder
Marge: is that bad?
Hutz: Well, I kinda ran over his dog
Marge: you did?
Hutz: replace the word kinda with repeatedly and the word dog with son


I love Hutz--Burns is great, Duffman is good for a laugh, and Barney is the loveable drunk

Reverend Lovejoy: In richness and in poorness...poorness being underlined several times....or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet powered, monkey navigated....and it goes on like this
Milhouse is a great character...I feel so bad for him sometimes

Who would win in wrestling match, Flanders or Willie? Both of them are built like a brick.

Without a doubt the best thing the simpsons created: Lenny and Carl.

"Informal!!"

Titania: You said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to toss the drunk!

Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things!
-------------------------------------------

DUFFMAN is the greatest.

Who would win in wrestling match, Flanders or Willie? Both of them are built like a brick.

Willie. Flanders would try to fight it fair.

Then again, god is on Flander's side...

Slideshow Bob !!!

Willie.

"Ach, dont take it so bad, I been rasslin' wolves since ye were sucklin on yer momma's titty."
-Groundskeeper Willie.

I always kind of liked Skinner's Mother... what's her name, Agnes?
Especially in the episode where it turns out that Skinner isn't Skinner after all but Armand Tansarian... :D

I'd have to say either Itchy and Scratchy.

I think my favourite line would have to be from this episode where Sideshow Bob runs for some political office for the Republicans; Lisa and Bart are inverstigating the election fraud, they find that names from the election lists on the tombstones in the cemetary.
Lisa : "Oh my god! The dead have risen and are voting Republican!!!"
:D

The best of the minor characters is that dude in the Bee Costume.


Yeah, I love him too! He's in the Krusty show, where he often tends to get injured in some way. You've gotta love that thick spanish accent, too. :)

It's definitely Hans Moleman. The guy is indestructible, i mean how many times has he died?(and made us all laugh)

Moleman for president!

Oh, I forgot Willie: "Arg don't worry about ye fishies, they're going to a better place" *flushhh*

don't forget ...the Mayor (forgot name)


Mayor Quimby. Vote Quimby!

Professer John Frink is the best. *Glavin*

Yeah, I love him too! He's in the Crusty show, where he often tends to get injured in some way. You've gotta love that thick spanish accent, too. :)
It's Krusty not crusty

It's Krusty not crusty

oh, right. silly me.

oh, right. silly me.
Even the best of us make mistakes somtimes. :D

the mad professor, whos name ive forgotten.

the mad professor, whos name ive forgotten.
PROFESSER JOHN FRINK *Glavin*
I mentioned him on pg 6

I also like the guy who always says mmmmyessssss.
E.G.
Homer:Excuse me?
The guy who always says mmmmyessssss:mmmmyessssss
Homer: do you have a table for the mayor?
The guy who always says mmmmyessssss:mmmmyessssss
Homer:Why do you talk that way?
The guy who always says mmmmyessssss:Because i had a strrrrrrokkeee.

Episode name:Mayored to the mob

PROFESSER JOHN FRINK *Glavin*
I mentioned him on pg 6

ah yes thats it. sorry i couldnt be bothered to read it all.

ah yes thats it. sorry i couldnt be bothered to read it all.

Read all of what?

the thread.

The worst character is Lisa, followed by Apu's family. The most overrated is Ralph.

Ralph has some good lines, but he's not there for much else.

and... hmm, i can't say there's one who's better than the others.

Oh right.

Ralph has some good lines, but he's not there for much else.

and... hmm, i can't say there's one who's better than the others.

Ralph is bacicaly there for humor as most background characters are. But he did once get and episode mostly to himself sharing it with bart.

Does anyone here actully find itchy and scratchy funny?

I like Homer. He is stoopid.

I like Homer. He is stoopid.

Yes i think we know that.

The garbageman song

Homer:Who will take your trash out, stomp it down for you? Shake the bag and do the twisty thingy to? The garbageman...
Garbagemen: oh the garbageman can
Garbagemen: The garbageman can and he does it with a smile and never judges you.
Marge: Who will take this diper?
Garbageman: I don't mind at all.
Cheif wiggium: Who will clean me up before the big policemen's ball the garbageman...
Garbagemen: Yes the garbageman can.
Singers:The sanitation folks are jolly freindly blokes coruteus and easy going
Singer1:They mop up when your over flowing...
Singer2:And tell you when your ass is showing.
Apu:Who can...
person1:Who can...
Ned:Who can....
Person2:Who can...
Homer: The garbageman can...
Bart and lisa: Cos he's homer simpson man...
Evreyone:He cleans the world for you. :D :D :D

not sure of the best, but a great line just came to me

Homer:move over eggs, bacons got a new best friend, toffie

and

Homer:hey apu do u have any of that beer with the candy floating in it*forgets name*
Apu:i am sorry sir, no such product exsists, im afraid u must have made i up
Homer:ohhh well can i just have a pack of skitels and a 6 pack

what a legened

sorry for the quotes i realise they are not 100%, but u get the idea, feel free to correct me

I would have to say Grandpa is my favorite...

..and now for an obscene amount of Simpson's quotes, which I have saved on my computer for just such an occasion. :D

Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Grandpa: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Marge: Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it
Grandpa: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

Mr. Burns: I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?

Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.

Homer: You're selling what, now?
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.
Apu: He's got me there.

Apu: Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I work, I work.

Barney: 40 dollars!? This better be the best damn beer ever.. [drinks beer] You got lucky.

Bart: It's valuable, huh?!
Comic Book Guy: Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go! For the good of the city!

Hans Moleman: Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!

Kent Brockman: Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.

Krusty: So, have a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a kwaazy Kwanza, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified, Ramadan. And now a word from MY god, our sponsors!

Moe: They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.

Edna: Seymour, you have to think of the children's future.
Seymour: Oh, Edna. We all know that these children HAVE no future.
[Everyone stops and stares at Seymour.]
Seymour: Prove me wrong children. Prove me wrong

Frink: These unfortunate people here will be instantly killed. This circle, which I am sad to say we are in, will experience a slower, considerably more painful death.

Rainier Wolfcastle: I have purchased the Springfield YMCA. I plan to tear it down and turn the land into a nature preserve. There, I will hunt the deadliest game of all... man.

Man: I'm telling you the light would work better if it pointed out to sea.
Sea Captian: Arr, shut up. I know what I'm doin'.
[a boat crashes in the distance]
Sea Captian: Arr, I hate the sea and everything in it.

Homer:hey apu do u have any of that beer with the candy floating in it*forgets name*
Apu:i am sorry sir, no such product exsists, im afraid u must have made i up
Homer:ohhh well can i just have a pack of skitels and a 6 pack

what a legened

sorry for the quotes i realise they are not 100%, but u get the idea, feel free to correct me

the beer was skittlebrau, if I remember it correctly.

I thought Frank Grimes was a great character, not because I actually liked him but because the episode he was in was so different to all the other random happenings of Springfield, whereas this one was basically funny because it was so inward looking and it's focus on Homer and his completely undeserved good fortune, to which he was so good-naturedly oblivious, compared to poor 'Grimey'(RIP) and his terrible fortune, despite him having strived so hard for everything he got. The whole episode was a battle between Traditional American self-made man Vs. Modern American lazy but benevolent slob inwhich the 21st century model won hands-down.
Plus the fact Grimey was a prat :)

Frank Grimes kicked ass!

I loved when he went to Homer's for dinner.

"Look at this place! It's huge! I live in a one bedroom apartement above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley."

I would have to say Grandpa is my favorite...

..and now for an obscene amount of Simpson's quotes, which I have saved on my computer for just such an occasion. :D


Hey, you forgot:

Marge:...maybe I am insane, I mean I am talking to myself.
Hans Moleman:You are? Oooh, I thought I'd made a friend.

Grampa:When you're old, death stalks you at every turn...AHH LOOK DEEEEEATH!
Lisa:That's only Maggie.
Grampa:Oh...DEEEEEAAAATH!!
Lisa:That's just a lamp.
Grampa:...DEEEEEAAAATH!!
Lisa:That's Maggie again Grampa.

Homer:Here's to alcohol,the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

(not sure of this one exactly, can't find it anywhere)
Bart (I think):Mr Hutz, when I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer.
Lionel Hutz:Good for you, Bart. 'Cause can you imagine a world without lawyers...
Imagines a green hillside with rainbows in the sky where every gender, race and sexuality are smiling and walking holding-hands.

Dr. Nick:Hi, everybody!
Malpractice committee: (irritatedly)Hi Dr. Nick.

Homer:Erm, you know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in reallife, er, Christianity.

Homer:Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

Pure gold :D

Homer lighting a stick of butter as if it were a cigarette and taking a deep satisfying drag...

I also like the guy who always says mmmmyessssss.
E.G.
Homer:Excuse me?
The guy who always says mmmmyessssss:mmmmyessssss
Homer: do you have a table for the mayor?
The guy who always says mmmmyessssss:mmmmyessssss
Homer:Why do you talk that way?
The guy who always says mmmmyessssss:Because i had a strrrrrrokkeee.

Episode name:Mayored to the mob


He is the manager in "Costington's Department Store".

(A spoof on Mr.Mooney from the Lucille Ball show)

Professer John Frink is the best. *Glavin*

The episode where his father comes back from the dead and is out of control, the professor has to stop him by kicking him in the crotch, to which the father hoots "Gah,Ballsack"

The garbageman song

Homer:Who will take your trash out, stomp it down for you? Shake the bag and do the twisty thingy to? The garbageman...
Garbagemen: oh the garbageman can
Garbagemen: The garbageman can and he does it with a smile and never judges you.
Marge: Who will take this diper?
Garbageman: I don't mind at all.
Cheif wiggium: Who will clean me up before the big policemen's ball the garbageman...
Garbagemen: Yes the garbageman can.
Singers:The sanitation folks are jolly freindly blokes coruteus and easy going
Singer1:They mop up when your over flowing...
Singer2:And tell you when your ass is showing.
Apu:Who can...
person1:Who can...
Ned:Who can....
Person2:Who can...
Homer: The garbageman can...
Bart and lisa: Cos he's homer simpson man...
Evreyone:He cleans the world for you. :D :D :D

Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail!
What'd I say?

Ned Flanders: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

Patty+Selma: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!

[crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...

Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?

Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs.

Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?

Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.

Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.

I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: Once again...

All: Monorail!

Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

All: Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!

Homer: Mono... D'oh!

I think this was when Flanders was going out with Sharon Stone and they were at that concert.

Agnes: Seymour, stop looking at that woman's chest (could be wrong but that's about it)
Skinner: I can do what I want mother, I'm a veteran.
Agnes: Yeah, a veteran bedwetter!
Skinner: Mother!

When Homer was being the new Flanders
Homer (to Rev. Lovejoy): I'm just trying to find that Stairway To Heaven Jesus sung about.
Flanders: That was Led Zeppelin!
Homer: Get back to your bong, hippy!

Rod: I wish we could see those old people's faces when they see (whatever they did)
Flanders: Sin of pride Roddy.
Rod: I'm sorry daddy
Flanders: Sin of shame.

Wiggum: SCUM FREEZEBAG! I mean freeze scumbag. Haha, you can't write stuff like that! That is why sit-coms are dying

Ralph is funny because he's so stupid. Homer is obviously the best though. Cletus is underrated too.