NationStates Jolt Archive

Hi Folks and welcome the the first international biblical limerick competition.

First prize the admiration of your peers and the hatred of those you
don't much care for in the first place.

I would suggest an opening line of

There was a young man from nazareth ...


But any others will be fine too

To get the ball rolling here is rather a poor attempt of mine that
came about due to the arguments being used in another thread.

There was a young man from nazareth
who disliked young men who'd had a bit,
he may have worn a dress
but wasn't opposed to duress
for children who weren't quite adequate.


Now I know y'all can do better so have a go.
Unleash the poet within.

Not as novel an idea in reception as in idea, ey?

There once was a man from Nazareth
Who always got high on Crystal meth
He decided one night
"Yea I'm God's son all right!"
And so the Romans they put him to death.

Not as novel an idea in reception as in idea, ey?

I've no idea how novel an idea it is.
For all I know its been done a million times before.

If you mean that I didn't immediately have people posting their limericks

well I reckon you need to give people a chance to
1 have seen the thread
2 decide if they could be bothered with it
and
3 come up with a limerick that they actually want to post.


It's not like the average post you know,
you actually have to think about what your going to write.

ANYway its only intended to be a bit of fun
If people want to join in GREAT
If they don't then they don't


There was a young man from Nazareth
Who declared he was god for a bet.
He danced until 9
Turned water to wine.
In the end though it led to his death.

There once was a man from Nazareth
Who always got high on Crystal meth
He decided one night
"Yea I'm God's son all right!"
And so the Romans they put him to death.



The first entrant to the competition comes in with
the one to beat.

Do either of you know how to count syllables? These limericks are terrible.

Do either of you know how to count syllables? These limericks are terrible.

I agree
my limericks stink


But you've seen ours so lets see yours.


There was a young man from Nazareth,
Who said I'll be back don't you fret.
Well its been a long time
I see you're all sighin'
His dad hears in the car "are we there yet"

1 entry so far its not bad
although 1 critic already is sad
He thinks that the style
has no reason or rhyme
and poor structure is driving him mad.


There was a young man, son of God
Who thought it exceedingly odd
That people did sin
agin and agin
despite giving good the odd nod

There once was a man from Naz'reth
He was the neph of that old 'beth
He raised from the grave
Lazarus as a fav'
Now he promises to conquer our death

Pardon some of my American cotractions and some local shorthand
But hey, that's what poetry's all about anyhow.

A man teaching peace love and good
Proved not to be quite understood
His virtuous mission
That looked like sedition
Got him nailed to a large piece of wood

There once was a man from Naz'reth
He was the neph of that old 'beth
He raised from the grave
Lazarus as a fav'
Now he promises to conquer our death

Pardon some of my American cotractions and some local shorthand
But hey, that's what poetry's all about anyhow.


Thank you for that and congratulations for rising to the challenge.

A man teaching peace love and good
Proved not to be quite understood
His virtuous mission
That looked like sedition
Got him nailed to a large piece of wood




Not wishing to put anyone's nose out of joint but this is my own
personal favourite so far and from the feedback I have had from
other readers this one is now the one to beat.

But if you can't beat it, join in anyways.
It would be very nice to see a few more entrants to what is
as far as I know
the very first ever international biblical limerick competition
(the very first one ever proposed by me,anyway)

A man teaching peace love and good
Proved not to be quite understood
His virtuous mission
That looked like sedition
Got him nailed to a large piece of wood



This is the best one so far. Inarguably.

There once was a thing called religion,
Was it hateful and cruel? Just a smidgeon.
Pregnant virgins existing,
(If that doesn't count 'fisting')
And I would much rather prey to a pidgeon.

There was a young man from Judea
Who said Oi you lot come over here
I've got something to say about the right way
So the Romans they jabed him with spears.

There was an old geezer called Noah
Who taught all his kids to be rowers
The voice in his head told him build so he did
So they all could stay dry in the showers.

There was a young man from Judea
Who said Oi you lot come over here
I've got something to say about the right way
So the Romans they jabed him with spears.

There was an old geezer called Noah
Who taught all his kids to be rowers
The voice in his head told him build so he did
So they all could stay dry in the showers.
Way to not rhyme or be funny.

Way to not rhyme or be funny.

When you knock what someone else would
present for to be understood.
Then understand this
you will not be missed.
If you go out and get lost in the hood.

---------------------------------------

Few of us are masterly rhymers
most often we're only one timers
Its supposed to be fun
so leave down your gun
Or you'll leave us with nothing but mimers

-----------------------------------------

There was a young man son of Adam
whos desires were those of a madman
well you'd be mad too
when to dally and woo
meant dealing with mom as a madam

Way to not rhyme or be funny.


How about this as a rule for us all
if you wish to deride and make small
then do it in rhyme
in the limerick time
show off, make it good and stand tall


------------------------------------------

When desiring to praise make it short
in one line give congrats as is sought
for the ones you don't rate
step up to the plate
and in rhyme give us what you have thought

---------------------------------------------

There was a young man without sin
he was tall and unreasonably thin
he didn't condone
casting the stone
nor did he put sandal to shin

How about this as a rule for us all
if you wish to deride and make small
then do it in rhyme
in the limerick time
show off, make it good and stand tall


------------------------------------------

When desiring to praise make it short
in one line give congrats as is sought
for the ones you don't rate
step up to the plate
and in rhyme give us what you have thought

---------------------------------------------

There was a young man without sin
he was tall and unreasonably thin
he didn't condone
casting the stone
nor did he put sandal to shin

There once was a thread that went on for too long...