NationStates Jolt Archive

Does anybody here have any good lines I (we) could use on my (our) girlfriend(s). Girls- you could help us out by giving us some lines that've worked on you.

by helping me out you'd be utterly apprechiated.

I'll let ya in on a little secret...it's gotta come from the heart.

And...it never hurts to use their name... Well, at least for me it is - maybe it's because I've rarely heard it over the past 5-6 years...

Thanks for not being a bitch tonight, Honey.

"You're gonna be walking funny tomorrow"

lol how about this.

Either you be nice to be, or I am going to break up with/divorce/stop talking to/eat - you.

Always works

No matter what she's wearing, or how frazzled she looks at the end of a hard day - I remind her how damn hot she looks and that she's driving me nuts with lust.

Well, it's not always your time of the month, I love you.

No seriously though, just make them feel good about themselves. Make sure you dont go on about yourself, but don't make it too akward by only talking about them. Find something that you are both interested in and talk about it.

THEN IF YOU ARE LUCKY she may "reward you" with something unexpected.

Of course, I am only 15, so I haven't gone their yet, but I know some 15 yr olds who have :-)

No seriously though, just make them feel good about themselves. Make sure you dont go on about yourself, but don't make it too akward by only talking about them. Find something that you are both interested in and talk about it.

THEN IF YOU ARE LUCKY she may "reward you" with something unexpected.

Of course, I am only 15, so I haven't gone their yet, but I know some 15 yr olds who have :-)
If you pay for it, it still counts.

"I just can't believe how lucky I am to know you".

Peter: Listen Lois, I know you're a feminist and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
-Family Guy

I can help you with what NOT to say:

"Shut up and spread"

When I saw you on that corner I said to Big Macky, "That's the one I want, that blonde one with the cowboy hat."

Hey baby, want a ride? (theres no car.) ;)

Geez, men are pigs... I've never been more embarrased about those that share my gender

I can help you with what NOT to say:

"Shut up and spread"Under the right circumstances...
Seriously. If your girl is into that, it's very sweet to give her what she wants. My ex refused to call me names, cause it made him uncomfortable. What about my needs?

I can help you with what NOT to say:

"Shut up and spread"
ROFL....
Funny thread....

I gotta say, if she's not perfectly proportioned or is even the slightest bit shy (or ashamed) of any part of her.....it always helps to let her know she's wrong about it. I know this for sure -- I used to be a model, until I started having a lot of health problems and gained a lot of weight (I'm still like, 140, which is abhorrent for a 5'7" girl who wants to keep modeling), but no matter how crappy my day at work is going or what problems I'm having, I friggin MELT if my boyfriend tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful. Same deal works especially well if she happens to MENTION a body part.....my friend is very worried about her legs, which are a little chunky, but her boyfriend keeps telling her he couldn't imagine her any other way. Deep down, we know you're just telling us what we really want to hear, and trying to validate our physical appeal, but no girl I know would seriously not want to hear that from their significant other.

"Your ass looks less fat today"

*dumps a mattress right in front of her*

Get. on. now.

Well, this isn't that sweet. We were standing in line to see a movie, and I had a bad case of gas. I let a real good one rip, it was loud and heads turned. I looked at her and whispered loudly "don't worry, sweety, they'll think I did it." She slapped me.

Do you bob the knober?

Do you knob the bobber?

Seriously?

Tell her "you complete me"

Well, this isn't that sweet. We were standing in line to see a movie, and I had a bad case of gas. I let a real good one rip, it was loud and heads turned. I looked at her and whispered loudly "don't worry, sweety, they'll think I did it." She slapped me.

LOL! Thats funny.

"Your ass looks less fat today"

If you really want to screw with their minds, hit them with an innocent question.

"Are your ankles thicker?"

They will check them the rest of the day.

Well, this isn't that sweet. We were standing in line to see a movie, and I had a bad case of gas. I let a real good one rip, it was loud and heads turned. I looked at her and whispered loudly "don't worry, sweety, they'll think I did it." She slapped me.

Damn that was funny!

I forgot. Not something you tell her but nothing says love like a Dutch oven!

If you really want to screw with their minds, hit them with an innocent question.

"Are your ankles thicker?"

They will check them the rest of the day.

Heres another way to mess with their minds. Next time they try to argue with you and try to provoke you. Just ignore them. Medidate. Do not retiliate. It will mess with them to no end.

Say "you shore don't sweat much for a fat girl!"

Say "you shore don't sweat much for a fat girl!"

and sit back and watch them purge. Another way of doing that is, no matter how skinny they are go "You know you look alittle chubby honey."

You ever try the popcorn box trick in the movies? You either get a handjob or a slap on the face. But the look on their face when they make the 'discovery' is priceless.

You ever try the popcorn box trick in the movies? You either get a handjob or a slap on the face. But the look on their face when they make the 'discovery' is priceless.

No I have not lol.

The most direct way into the sentuous underthings of the young lady, is through the ego.

When your'e all alone with her....just start staring at her and smiling....

When she asks why your'e staring at her, just smile and say:

"I just cant believe how beautiful you are."


Score!!!1!one.

The best way of doing it is the Austin Powers approach. Show off your manly chest hair and say. "Do I make you Randy baby?" "Do I?" "Do I make you randy baby?" lol.

Austin Powers rules!

Ok as a Female, I'm rolling at all the crazy suggestions here. They're soo funny to be believable... though I do simply adore the gas one, he deserved to get slapped.

From my perspective, just do something nice as a surprise. Seriously. I came home in a FOUL mood after a really rough week at work. I found that the guy I was dating at the time wasn't home and I was irriated because he knew we had a dinner date at 7 (less than a half hour later). He walked in the door (he'd been chatting/hiding at the neighbor's house) and I just started flaming about how he was late and I hoped he would be ready to go in a minute.

He just kind of grinned, said You know, I love you, and handed me a bunch of flowers. Then, he said I know you've had a rough week, there's a bubble bath in the bathtub, I moved the dinner reservations back to 8:15, so go relax, enjoy the flowers, and while you're doing that, I'll pull out whatever it is you want to wear.

Needless to say, I felt like an ass, and in about 2 seconds totally more in love with him. Why? Because he didn't have to do it, he could have just changed his mind and walked out cancelling the date - and he wasn't confrontational even when I was! Its these kinds of things that really "get our goat". erm.. so to speak. (Yes, he did get a pleasant reward btw.)

Hand her a tenner and say "Upstairs now biatch."

just say i love you, simple

Ok as a Female, I'm rolling at all the crazy suggestions here. They're soo funny to be believable... though I do simply adore the gas one, he deserved to get slapped.

From my perspective, just do something nice as a surprise. Seriously. I came home in a FOUL mood after a really rough week at work. I found that the guy I was dating at the time wasn't home and I was irriated because he knew we had a dinner date at 7 (less than a half hour later). He walked in the door (he'd been chatting/hiding at the neighbor's house) and I just started flaming about how he was late and I hoped he would be ready to go in a minute.

He just kind of grinned, said You know, I love you, and handed me a bunch of flowers. Then, he said I know you've had a rough week, there's a bubble bath in the bathtub, I moved the dinner reservations back to 8:15, so go relax, enjoy the flowers, and while you're doing that, I'll pull out whatever it is you want to wear.

Needless to say, I felt like an ass, and in about 2 seconds totally more in love with him. Why? Because he didn't have to do it, he could have just changed his mind and walked out cancelling the date - and he wasn't confrontational even when I was! Its these kinds of things that really "get our goat". erm.. so to speak. (Yes, he did get a pleasant reward btw.)

I gotta say..you were played.

Not in abad way, mind you...

But this guy had it bad for you, and he set out intending to woo you.

You fell for it completely.

Allow me to share with you my "Grand Wooing Trick"
To be honest, I have yet to try it, and I want some feedback.

Step one:
Wait for a day that the girl goes to work.
Starting at the end of every hour she works, send one flower (preferably a rose) to her at work.

Step two:
Wait for said girl at her home.
(This of course requires legal entry to her home)
Before she arrives, have some take-out food delivered, or even make dinner and keep it warm, if you have the time.

Step Three:

At the foot of the door, leave a trail of Rose petals to the bathroom, where you have prepared a nice bath with all kinds of smelly stuff girls like.
Candles are a must.

Step Three:

After bath and then dinner, allow her to find another trail of petals to the bedroom, where you have pre-prepared, some massage oils, and proceed with vigourous back-rub.

and..since your in the bedroom.....

Smooth aint it?

I can help you with what NOT to say:

"Shut up and spread"

Ooooh... so that's what I'm doing wrong...

say:

my love, your more than just a pretty face. You've also got a FANTASTIC ass!!!

Well, this isn't that sweet. We were standing in line to see a movie, and I had a bad case of gas. I let a real good one rip, it was loud and heads turned. I looked at her and whispered loudly "don't worry, sweety, they'll think I did it." She slapped me.

well done!

"How about you and her make out?"

Does anybody here have any good lines I (we) could use on my (our) girlfriend(s). Girls- you could help us out by giving us some lines that've worked on you.

by helping me out you'd be utterly apprechiated.
If you can't think of something sweet to say when you look at her, you shouldn't be dating her. If you think it's smart to use generic "lines" to please your woman, you shouldn't be dating at all.

The reason I called you down here is because I wanted to say I want your babies...


..I really am that hungry.

Forget saying stuff if you want them to fall in love with you when they are sleeping put Nicotine patches on them and theyll get addicted so after a while of not being with you theyll get a craving and whamo!
Slap them over the back of the head with the Oar and throw them in the boat.

Geez, men are pigs... I've never been more embarrased about those that share my gender
You kidding reading this has given me a sense of pride once again.

The worst thing you can do is come out with a line,girls are much smarter than you appear to be giving them credit for.just say what you feel,and if you dont know what to say but really want to say something nice,then tell them that.


"Women aren't like search engines;putting in the right combination of words will not lead you to sex"-Me,The Steve

You ever try the popcorn box trick in the movies? You either get a handjob or a slap on the face. But the look on their face when they make the 'discovery' is priceless.

call me thick right, but what the hell is the popcorn box trick?
(though i think i could almost guess, i need confirmation)

RE BackwoodsSquatches

I gotta say..you were played.

Not in abad way, mind you...

But this guy had it bad for you, and he set out intending to woo you.

You fell for it completely.

*** I dunno about that LOL I knew what I was in for, and yeah we did and do have it in for each other! :-D That's not a bad thing.***

Allow me to share with you my "Grand Wooing Trick"
To be honest, I have yet to try it, and I want some feedback.

Step one:
Wait for a day that the girl goes to work.
Starting at the end of every hour she works, send one flower (preferably a rose) to her at work.

Step two:
Wait for said girl at her home.
(This of course requires legal entry to her home)
Before she arrives, have some take-out food delivered, or even make dinner and keep it warm, if you have the time.

Step Three:

At the foot of the door, leave a trail of Rose petals to the bathroom, where you have prepared a nice bath with all kinds of smelly stuff girls like.
Candles are a must.

Step Three:

After bath and then dinner, allow her to find another trail of petals to the bedroom, where you have pre-prepared, some massage oils, and proceed with vigourous back-rub.

and..since your in the bedroom.....

Smooth aint it?

Uh...
Things to keep in mind - a) Steps 1 and 2 would work. Step 3? No way. What they don't tell you in the "romantic handbook 101" rose petals stain - they warm up and all their lovely red oozes out of the petal and on your carpet/sheets/anywhere they touch. If they get crushed, it gets worse. Discovered this the hard way. WOULD NOT MAKE ME A HAPPY GIRL to realize that the petals stained my carpet and now I have to clean it up by bleaching it.. and even then it may not work to get it out.

call me thick right, but what the hell is the popcorn box trick?
(though i think i could almost guess, i need confirmation)

I teenk it's where you cut out the bottom of the popcorn box or something. So when she reaches...

Heh.

Actually I find these incredibly dorky pick-up linish type things quite cute. I would love it if my boyfriend, if I had one, used them on me.

i thought so, but that is just weird

RE BackwoodsSquatches

Step 3? No way. What they don't tell you in the "romantic handbook 101" rose petals stain - they warm up and all their lovely red oozes out of the petal and on your carpet/sheets/anywhere they touch. If they get crushed, it gets worse. Discovered this the hard way. WOULD NOT MAKE ME A HAPPY GIRL to realize that the petals stained my carpet and now I have to clean it up by bleaching it.. and even then it may not work to get it out.


Really??

They do??

DAMN.

Hmm...what about white roses?

And assuming that the staining wouldnt be a problem.....the plan would work, no?

Really??

They do??

DAMN.

Hmm...what about white roses?

Why not date a girl with a wooden floor?

Why not date a girl with a wooden floor?


Why, ya got a wooden floor?

*Hyuk! Hyuk!"

Why, ya got a wooden floor?

*Hyuk! Hyuk!"

hahaha.

Well, not that you mention it, yes. I never did care for carpets.

hahaha.

Well, not that you mention it, yes. I never did care for carpets.


Ok..random question...

If you were on a date..and the guy pulls out a starwars movie....what would you do?

Let's see:
1) Don't eat that it only will go to your thighs, at least I care.
2) Can you bring me a beer, there's only 30 seconds left.
3) I thought I asked to bring me a beer.

Then when these absolutely piss her off:

4) I'm sorry honey, I can't help it, I'm a man.

She will realize that it is true and you can't help it, plus there's extreme benefits to you being a man ;) :fluffle: :D

just say i love you, simpleDepends on the girl. Most of the ones I went out with felt "chained" or "caged" by that sentence. And if you don't mean it earnestly, DON'T SAY IT.

Ok..random question...

If you were on a date..and the guy pulls out a starwars movie....what would you do?

Hug him, or kiss him. Depending on you know, how long we'd been going out.

My friend got me the cartoon thingy of Clone Wars. I was so happy I went spastic for a few minutes.

I've noticed that we guys need to be extremely careful with compliments. If they come at the wrong time, you sound like a suck up and it will seem like you have ulterior motives, especially if she isn't your girlfriend yet. If you don't do it when she's fishing for compliments ("Do you think this dress makes me look fat?"), then good night.

Why not date a girl with a wooden floor?
Why not make it easier? Date a wooden floor!
Depends on the girl. Most of the ones I went out with felt "chained" or "caged" by that sentence. And if you don't mean it earnestly, DON'T SAY IT.
I´ve got a friend that says "I love you" or "My love" to me nad a couple of her other friends. I think she´s abusing it, so to say.

Hug him, or kiss him. Depending on you know, how long we'd been going out.

My friend got me the cartoon thingy of Clone Wars. I was so happy I went spastic for a few minutes.


You cant be a real girl!

Girls like you dont exist!

1. dogs
2. Black Sababth
3, Star Wars...
4. eurasian.

Wait....I know! Youre either gay....or a serial killer, right?

I've noticed that we guys need to be extremely careful with compliments. If they come at the wrong time, you sound like a suck up and it will seem like you have ulterior motives, especially if she isn't your girlfriend yet. If you don't do it when she's fishing for compliments ("Do you think this dress makes me look fat?"), then good night.

All you poor bachelors!!! Its nice knowing I have someone I can joke about these rude comments and she won't care.

Though as WARNING : All women act the same in the end. All those quirky things you hate that your mother does, a girlfriend also will do sooner or later.

You cant be a real girl!

Girls like you dont exist!

1. dogs
2. Black Sababth
3, Star Wars...
4. eurasian.

Wait....I know! Youre either gay....or a serial killer, right?

I think I'm real.

But really, you flatter me.

Heh.

"Does this make me look fat?"

The correct response?

"Not any more than usual..."

I think I'm real.

But really, you flatter me.

Heh.

Real heh? Hmm. Do you like RPG games? Can you watch a guy play a game?

Real heh? Hmm. Do you like RPG games? Can you watch a guy play a game?

Watch? Heck, my friends and I go gaming fairly often.

All this attention's getting me fairly nervous.

I think I'm real.

But really, you flatter me.

Heh.
You like being called a serial killer? Kinky.

Watch? Heck, my friends and I go gaming fairly often.

All this attention's getting me fairly nervous.

As I thought, a robot.

Watch? Heck, my friends and I go gaming fairly often.

All this attention's getting me fairly nervous.


No freakin way...

wich movie would you rather go and see:

Whatever Love story schmaltzy flick probably starring Matthew McConahay..or "The Devil's Rejects?"

Geez, men are pigs... I've never been more embarrased about those that share my gender
lighten up.

No freakin way...

wich movie would you rather go and see:

Whatever Love story schmaltzy flick probably starring Matthew McConahay..or "The Devil's Rejects?"

Either.

I'm incredibly sensitive/emotional. I like soppy films.

But I like Action/Horror movies just as much.

I gotta say..you were played.

Not in abad way, mind you...

But this guy had it bad for you, and he set out intending to woo you.

You fell for it completely.

Allow me to share with you my "Grand Wooing Trick"
To be honest, I have yet to try it, and I want some feedback.

Step one:
Wait for a day that the girl goes to work.
Starting at the end of every hour she works, send one flower (preferably a rose) to her at work.

Step two:
Wait for said girl at her home.
(This of course requires legal entry to her home)
Before she arrives, have some take-out food delivered, or even make dinner and keep it warm, if you have the time.

Step Three:

At the foot of the door, leave a trail of Rose petals to the bathroom, where you have prepared a nice bath with all kinds of smelly stuff girls like.
Candles are a must.

Step Three:

After bath and then dinner, allow her to find another trail of petals to the bedroom, where you have pre-prepared, some massage oils, and proceed with vigourous back-rub.

and..since your in the bedroom.....

Smooth aint it?


Way too much work. Just get her drunk.

Either.

I'm incredibly sensitive/emotional. I like soppy films.

But I like Action/Horror movies just as much.


Hmm..thats an acceptable answer.

Why arent there more like you everywhere?

Way too much work. Just get her drunk.


Cuz if the plan works...she'll think your D. Lova Mann.

Hmm..thats an acceptable answer.

Why arent there more like you everywhere?

Oh, I have a better question..

Why aren't there more guys like you who think there should be more girls like me?

Hah!

Oh, I have a better question..

Why aren't there more guys like you who think there should be more girls like me?

Hah!


Hmm....thats IS a good question.

Does anybody here have any good lines I (we) could use on my (our) girlfriend(s). Girls- you could help us out by giving us some lines that've worked on you.

by helping me out you'd be utterly apprechiated.

"Hey, baby, why don't you cook me some dinner... you're such a great cook, and besides, the kitchen is the woman's domain. I'll do you a favor and light the candles. I feel romantic."

That should win you some major brownie points.

(sorry, way too early to be serious)

"Hey, baby, why don't you cook me some dinner... you're such a great cook, and besides, the kitchen is the woman's domain. I'll do you a favor and light the candles. I feel romantic."

That should win you some major brownie points.

(sorry, way too early to be serious)

Liking it...i'll try that one, when i am fed up with her! lol!!

It's not so much what you say, as how you say it...

The "Nice shoes, wanna fuck" line has worked on occasion for me - it's all in the delivery. Sure, she knows it's a crappy line, but it worked b/c of the delivery...


If you really want to mess w/her head...shrink her clothes in the wash...when she puts them on, she'll flip ;)

Hmm....thats IS a good question.

Cuz the guys like him have already found girls like you and thus arent looking? I know I'm happy with my nerdy girl...

You ever try the popcorn box trick in the movies? You either get a handjob or a slap on the face. But the look on their face when they make the 'discovery' is priceless.

Yeah but unless your really sick you ruin a perfectly good box of popcorn

It's not so much what you say, as how you say it...

The "Nice shoes, wanna fuck" line has worked on occasion for me - it's all in the delivery. Sure, she knows it's a crappy line, but it worked b/c of the delivery...


If you really want to mess w/her head...shrink her clothes in the wash...when she puts them on, she'll flip ;)

I like the clothes shrinking part. As for the other, I don't need the shoes part cause 'I'm spoken for'

Yeah but unless your really sick you ruin a perfectly good box of popcorn

Yeah, but what's a couple dollars down the drain in comparison to that look on her face...

Your nipples are like 9-volt batteries.

I like the clothes shrinking part. As for the other, I don't need the shoes part cause 'I'm spoken for'

Adapt it: Hey baby, you look really good tonight...wanna fuck?

No one says it has to be a pickup line...it can be used on the girl you're with already...

;) ;) Adapt it: Hey baby, you look really good tonight...wanna fuck?

No one says it has to be a pickup line...it can be used on the girl you're with already...

yea, but she's typically 'ready to go' so I just need to give the green light :D
Thus, 'wanna fuck' works better than adding unneeded words. ;)

Does anybody here have any good lines I (we) could use on my (our) girlfriend(s). Girls- you could help us out by giving us some lines that've worked on you.

by helping me out you'd be utterly apprechiated.
I've always found "cum for me, babie" to be very effective. :D

I've always found "cum for me, babie" to be very effective. :D

I always liked "I bet you'd like me to bend you over the tailgate"...you'd be surprised how often a girl will jump at that chance...

When she asks why your'e staring at her, just smile and say:

"I just cant believe how beautiful you are."

*vomit*

chain reaction

*vomit,vomit,vomit*

Cuz the guys like him have already found girls like you and thus arent looking? I know I'm happy with my nerdy girl...


No girl who likes Black Sabbath is all nerd.

and if they like dogs, too...preferably big goofy dogs...that speaks well of thier character.

Basically, I need a guy with boobs....( you know what I mean)

Liking it...i'll try that one, when i am fed up with her! lol!!

If she's a South Park fan, you'll have her at "...cook me some dinner..."

If she's a Beavis and Butthead fan, you'll have her at "Hey, baby"

hehe

Thanks for not being a bitch tonight, Honey.

Nice One.


Or just get the TAG body spray for guys she will do all the talking

play some jazz flute for her

If she plays WoW, ask her if she wants to play with your Legendary weapon...

I always liked "I bet you'd like me to bend you over the tailgate"...you'd be surprised how often a girl will jump at that chance...
ROFLMAO! Uh huh. Right. ;)

No girl who likes Black Sabbath is all nerd.

and if they like dogs, too...preferably big goofy dogs...that speaks well of thier character.

Basically, I need a guy with boobs....( you know what I mean)

yeah... it helps if she likes to play catch, hates to watch figure skating on Sunday afternoon, etc...

yeah... it helps if she likes to play catch, hates to watch figure skating on Sunday afternoon, etc...

and enjoys burping and farting.

Oh and maybe the occasional smoke.

and enjoys burping and farting.

Oh and maybe the occasional smoke.

<furby voice> want some ganja ?

play some jazz flute for her

you must have meant if she'd play your skin flute

<furby voice> want some ganja ?


wow..that was creepy.

Yes. I think I do.

wow..that was creepy.

Yes. I think I do.

Come on over then :)

Come on over then :)


Cool.

I'll bring my dog, and some black sabbath..and a furby.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
All my base
Are belong to you

There is no chance to survive, let us make our time!!!!! ;)

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
All my base
Are belong to you


If you say that to a girl, and she starts luaghing becuase she got the joke....marry her.

If you say that to a girl, and she starts luaghing becuase she got the joke....marry her.


Very, very true.

Guys, the real secret to finding and winning the "right" woman is to make sure she knows that you're making a real effort to discover who she is. Remember little things, like her current hair style; when she changes it, compliment her on the change. It's not the compliment she'll remember, it's the fact that you pay close enough attention to her that you would even notice a change like that.

Most women are perceptive enough to realize that most men are clueless. They're usually quite impressed when you notice little changes they make, small gestures to please you, stuff like that.

Also, there is something about every woman which makes her unique and fascinating. The slightly crooked smile when you do something silly; the slight tilt of her head when she's flirting with you; the way the light falls on her hair creating a kind of golden nimbus around her; the lift of a graceful hand; the way she unconsciously licks her lips when she sees you; that slightly swollen lower lip that makes her mouth particularly appealing. You get the idea. Find something about her worth observing and commenting on; extra points if it's something most men wouldn't notice; more extra points if it's something about which she's secretly proud. :)

Guys, the real secret to finding and winning the "right" woman is to make sure she knows that you're making a real effort to discover who she is. Remember little things, like her current hair style; when she changes it, compliment her on the change. It's not the compliment she'll remember, it's the fact that you pay close enough attention to her that you would even notice a change like that.

Most women are perceptive enough to realize that most men are clueless. They're usually quite impressed when you notice little changes they make, small gestures to please you, stuff like that.

Also, there is something about every woman which makes her unique and fascinating. The slightly crooked smile when you do something silly; the slight tilt of her head when she's flirting with you; the way the light falls on her hair creating a kind of golden nimbus around her; the lift of a graceful hand; the way she unconsciously licks her lips when she sees you; that slightly swollen lower lip that makes her mouth particularly appealing. You get the idea. Find something about her worth observing and commenting on; extra points if it's something most men wouldn't notice; more extra points if it's something about which she's secretly proud. :)

SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!
I would have never guessed that. The technique you describe is the one all the guys at the bar use to try to pick up a girl. It's the one that a girl might fall for and then a month later wonder what the hell she just did. (I've seen it happen to my fiance's friends/family) This is good advice for a nice guy with a permanent girlfriend though.(I use it all the time)

Guys, the real secret to finding and winning the "right" woman is to make sure she knows that you're making a real effort to discover who she is. Remember little things, like her current hair style; when she changes it, compliment her on the change. It's not the compliment she'll remember, it's the fact that you pay close enough attention to her that you would even notice a change like that.

Most women are perceptive enough to realize that most men are clueless. They're usually quite impressed when you notice little changes they make, small gestures to please you, stuff like that.

Also, there is something about every woman which makes her unique and fascinating. The slightly crooked smile when you do something silly; the slight tilt of her head when she's flirting with you; the way the light falls on her hair creating a kind of golden nimbus around her; the lift of a graceful hand; the way she unconsciously licks her lips when she sees you; that slightly swollen lower lip that makes her mouth particularly appealing. You get the idea. Find something about her worth observing and commenting on; extra points if it's something most men wouldn't notice; more extra points if it's something about which she's secretly proud. :)

Ahhh, now the true words of wisdom appear... It's all true guys. I can tell you from plenty of experience that it's noticing the little things - knowing her well enough to know when she's lying about something to make you feel better, or when she's doing something just because she knows you'd like it, etc - and then simply thanking her for it. I've found that sometimes all it takes to make her melt is a simple "thank you for xxxxxx". She'll remember that you noticed and feel like she's been rewarded for what she did / didnt do because you noticed - and not just that you noticed, but that you were grateful for it.

Being away from my girl currently, I wind up on the phone with her alot...I've come to know her voice well enough that I can tell when she's upset, when she's tired, etc. Letting her know that you recognize these things in her voice - i.e. asking her if she's tired when her voice starts to show it, etc - will mean a lot to her. It means that given all the things you could be doing or paying attention to while on the phone with her - it's her that's getting your attention.

wow..that was creepy.You think THAT'S creepy? You've probably never heard Tickle-Me-Elmo posessed by Satan then...

SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!
I would have never guessed that. The technique you describe is the one all the guys at the bar use to try to pick up a girl. It's the one that a girl might fall for and then a month later wonder what the hell she just did. (I've seen it happen to my fiance's friends/family) This is good advice for a nice guy with a permanent girlfriend though.(I use it all the time)
It's hard-won wisdom, accumulated over most of a lifetime. I don't pick up women in bars.

Ahhh, now the true words of wisdom appear... It's all true guys. I can tell you from plenty of experience that it's noticing the little things - knowing her well enough to know when she's lying about something to make you feel better, or when she's doing something just because she knows you'd like it, etc - and then simply thanking her for it. I've found that sometimes all it takes to make her melt is a simple "thank you for xxxxxx". She'll remember that you noticed and feel like she's been rewarded for what she did / didnt do because you noticed - and not just that you noticed, but that you were grateful for it.

Being away from my girl currently, I wind up on the phone with her alot...I've come to know her voice well enough that I can tell when she's upset, when she's tired, etc. Letting her know that you recognize these things in her voice - i.e. asking her if she's tired when her voice starts to show it, etc - will mean a lot to her. It means that given all the things you could be doing or paying attention to while on the phone with her - it's her that's getting your attention.
You are not far from true wisdom, Grasshopper! :D

It's hard-won wisdom, accumulated over most of a lifetime. I don't pick up women in bars.

Just commenting that it happens and a lot of girls, at least where I'm from, don't respond to that kinda thing til they know you're trustworthy.

... more extra points if it's something about which she's secretly proud. :)and minus points if it happens to be her rolls...:(

You are not far from true wisdom, Grasshopper! :D

I'm a lot older than you'd think...



(BTW... <----- (S)Sgt as of this morning when the Capt called and nearly made me crap my pants b/c why the HELL would the Capt be calling me unless I managed to get into some deep crap?)

I'm a lot older than you'd think...

(BTW... <----- (S)Sgt as of this morning when the Capt called and nearly made me crap my pants b/c why the HELL would the Capt be calling me unless I managed to get into some deep crap?)
ROFLMAO!!! See what jumping to unwarranted assumptions can do to you? Tsk! :D

Congratulations, my man! Perhaps we'll someday get the opportunity to toss a few back in celebration! :D

So how old are you? 23? :D

Cool.

I'll bring my dog, and some black sabbath..and a furby.

emm, my cat is rather emm...viscious towards members of the canine species...

Just commenting that it happens and a lot of girls, at least where I'm from, don't respond to that kinda thing til they know you're trustworthy.
That's just their defensive measures kicking in. I was speaking more of women with whom you are in a continuing relationship of some sort. :)

and minus points if it happens to be her rolls...:(
I have discovered that most women are very proud of their Rolls, if they can even afford one. :D

[ Yes, I know what you meant. I just chose to ignore it! ] :D

I have discovered that most women are very proud of their Rolls, if they can even afford one. :D

[ Yes, I know what you meant. I just chose to ignore it! ] :DAfter what I've been doing to you yesterday, I guess I deserved that :p

That's just their defensive measures kicking in. I was speaking more of women with whom you are in a continuing relationship of some sort. :)

Very understanding, I hope you read the second part of my first rebuttal. :)
I gave my two cents on that case too

After what I've been doing to you yesterday, I guess I deserved that :p
Perhaps.

[ Film at eleven! ] :D

you must have meant if she'd play your skin flute

HUZZAH!

You're not my girlfriend, you were an experiment!

Ok..random question...

If you were on a date..and the guy pulls out a starwars movie....what would you do?Demand Star Trek.

No seriously though, just make them feel good about themselves. Make sure you dont go on about yourself, but don't make it too akward by only talking about them. Find something that you are both interested in and talk about it.

THEN IF YOU ARE LUCKY she may "reward you" with something unexpected.

Of course, I am only 15, so I haven't gone their yet, but I know some 15 yr olds who have :-)

It sounds like your 15 year old friends have gotten an early start on a life plagued by burning sensations during urination and mysterious rashes.

Under the right circumstances...
Seriously. If your girl is into that, it's very sweet to give her what she wants. My ex refused to call me names, cause it made him uncomfortable. What about my needs?

What about his?

p.s., that's disgusting.

What about his?

p.s., that's disgusting.
What's disgusting about two grown human beings providing each other what they want? That attitude is something I've never been able to understand. :(

It sounds like your 15 year old friends have gotten an early start on a life plagued by burning sensations during urination and mysterious rashes.
Me and my friends, we're all also 15, all have bets on which one of the slutty girls will get pregneant first that we;ve known since 7th grade. It's 10th grade now and I might win $5.

Me and my friends, we're all also 15, all have bets on which one of the slutty girls will get pregneant first that we;ve known since 7th grade. It's 10th grade now and I might win $5.

THATS EVIL.

But kinda funny.

Hehhe.

What about his?

p.s., that's disgusting.


Inside every woman is a sexual beast begging to be released. Knowing your woman well enough to know how to release that beast is hardly disgusting. For some women it takes gentle caresses. But, as in everything in life, some woman are at the far end of the spectrum and want to be thrown around violently / abused (as long as it's done out of love, not anger / etc.).

Knowing what it takes to get your woman purring can add a whole new spectrum to play in the bedroom, and could hardly be called disgusting. Sure, there are some things I wouldnt normally think of doing, but if my girl asked for it, I'd give it to her - because if I dont, she'll either forever regret it and thus resent me and our relationship for it, or she'll go do it without me. Either way, I lose.

The best thing to say to a girl is something that you are not intending to be rewarded for. Sure, maybe you will be, but it will only sound sinscere if you say it in a situation where you will obviously not be rewarded immediatly, and in a tone of voice that says you really mean it. I'm assuming of course, that this comment is a positive one.

Inside every woman is a sexual beast begging to be released. Knowing your woman well enough to know how to release that beast is hardly disgusting. For some women it takes gentle caresses. But, as in everything in life, some woman are at the far end of the spectrum and want to be thrown around violently / abused (as long as it's done out of love, not anger / etc.).

Knowing what it takes to get your woman purring can add a whole new spectrum to play in the bedroom, and could hardly be called disgusting. Sure, there are some things I wouldnt normally think of doing, but if my girl asked for it, I'd give it to her - because if I dont, she'll either forever regret it and thus resent me and our relationship for it, or she'll go do it without me. Either way, I lose.
This is all true, but there's at least one more aspect of this entire approach to consider. Some women ( as well as some men ) can be so startled at the depth and intensity of their sexuality that it scares them. I've seen this happen twice with women I've known over the years. One of them was so frightened by the realization of how intense her own sexuality was that she retreated into religion. The other simply backed off and refused to learn anything else.

This is all true, but there's at least one more aspect of this entire approach to consider. Some women ( as well as some men ) can be so startled at the depth and intensity of their sexuality that it scares them. I've seen this happen twice with women I've known over the years. One of them was so frightened by the realization of how intense her own sexuality was that she retreated into religion. The other simply backed off and refused to learn anything else.

This is very true...my ex was somewhat like this. It's important to take it slow with all of this and reassure her that it's perfectly normal (not that such will always work, but it's definately better than just jumping right in).

What about his?

p.s., that's disgusting.Hey!
My sexual preferences are no concern of yours, certainly not yours to criticise. I really don't appreciate being called disgusting.
Hoser.

Hey!
My sexual preferences are no concern of yours, certainly not yours to criticise. I really don't appreciate being called disgusting.
Hoser.
"Hoser!"

ROFLMFAO!!!!! :D

"I'm happy when I'm with you"

my boyfriend said that today and I nearly melted.

Yeah but unless your really sick you ruin a perfectly good box of popcornI'd still eat it.
Why waste perfectly good popcorn? ;)

... One of my favorites...

I haven't been f%$ked like that sence grade school.


One song to sing is by a musician called kompressor- "I want to get with yo"

It will get you some everytime. ;)

Seriously, be yourself... If you have to fake who you are to find a girl, she isn't worth it. It is just going to end up painful for both of you.

It sounds like your 15 year old friends have gotten an early start on a life plagued by burning sensations during urination and mysterious rashes.Ummm...
I'm assuming that you're reffering to STIs. You do know that you get those from unprotected sex, not young sex, right?

Me and my friends, we're all also 15, all have bets on which one of the slutty girls will get pregneant first that we;ve known since 7th grade. It's 10th grade now and I might win $5.Not funny.

Well as a girl if you say "ok i know this is going to sound really male but god your ass looks good" then 90% of women will laugh and be greatful (i know i am) this seems to really work on girlfriends [however this is not thing to say in a bar if you have just met ect, if you have just met try the 'hi my name is ****' and then see where the convo goes]

If you add a "i know im gonna sound male" in front of pretty much anything it will make it seem alot more ok, also, music, is an extreemly under-used resource, you can go for something romantic or at least something that implys you care (yes you get points for that) cause honestly thats appreciated,

Altho if you have a woman that doesnt mind being taken a little bit harder (if youve got the type of nerd chick that holds her own at LAN's try this) play something like man-o-war and watch a real dirty bitch come out, some girls just arent like this, dont try it with really feminin girls, but if theyre happy to watch some rugby and will try alot of things then go for it,

Also dont be afraid to ask if you want to try something, there is nothing worse than a guy thats shy in bed, dont be to dominating altho some times girls do like it if you play harder, confidence is appreciated, altho well guys sometimes struggle with this, but not in an arrogent pric way....

Goodluck!

You should say "Hey smellin' a bit fishy down there today."

Also dont be afraid to ask if you want to try something, there is nothing worse than a guy thats shy in bed, dont be to dominating altho some times girls do like it if you play harder, confidence is appreciated, altho well guys sometimes struggle with this, but not in an arrogent pric way.... Agreed. My ex claimed to not know what kind of porn he liked. I felt manlier than him. It really sucked.
The adding "this is gon sound really male" bit is good too. Make it sound like you can't not say what ever it is (your ass is hot in those pants, whatever), rather than that you're just being disrespectful.

yes the 'this is going to sound really male' beofre a comment about the ass or some such really helps. It turns it into a massive compliment, don't ask me why it just does. *shrugs* (Keeping in mind this is for girlfriends or wives not strangers)

Also, juggling your girlfriend into your busy schedule is good. Say she knows you are really busy but you take 10 minutes out of your day just to call and say you love her or send her an email or something. Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most.

Obviously this only works with women who you already have some relationship with but I never say a damn word...


I cup her face gently in my hands and kiss her softly, gently and passionately. No groping, snaking tongue or urgently pushing my body against hers. Just look her in the eyes and then slowly kiss her like you have all time in the world and you're savoring every delicious moment.


Works every time...

Obviously this only works with women who you already have some relationship with but I never say a damn word...


I cup her face gently in my hands and kiss her softly, gently and passionately. No groping, snaking tongue or urgently pushing my body against hers. Just look her in the eyes and then slowly kiss her like you have all time in the world and you're savoring every delicious moment.


Works every time...


yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I'd give that kind of affection to a potatoe chip, not a woman...

yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I'd give that kind of affection to a potatoe chip, not a woman...What ever works for you, but I don't have any crumbs in my bed....

What ever works for you, but I don't have any crumbs in my bed....

Really, you haven't tried eating off people. tsk tsk

Really, you haven't tried eating off people. tsk tskOf course I have, there's not much I haven't done before, but it's much more fun with lickable, creamy sweet stuff than with crunchy, crumbly things...

Of course I have, there's not much I haven't done before, but it's much more fun with lickable, creamy sweet stuff than with crunchy, crumbly things...

I just ate him.

Obviously this only works with women who you already have some relationship with but I never say a damn word...


I cup her face gently in my hands and kiss her softly, gently and passionately. No groping, snaking tongue or urgently pushing my body against hers. Just look her in the eyes and then slowly kiss her like you have all time in the world and you're savoring every delicious moment.


Works every time...What if she gets too impatient and starts pressing her body urgently aginst yours? I'm a big fan of groping, myself. Do it right, and it will do more good than a thousand sweet words.

I just ate him.In one big gulp or a nibble at a time?



Make fun of my advice if you want, but when I get off work in a little over an hour I'm meeting a certain spanish teacher I know. When I see her I'll do exactly as I said in my original post.

How much you want to bet my cats go hungry tonight 'cause daddy's sleeping someplace else?

In one big gulp or a nibble at a time?



Make fun of my advice if you want, but when I get off work in a little over an hour I'm meeting a certain spanish teacher I know. When I see her I'll do exactly as I said in my original post.

How much you want to bet my cats go hungry tonight 'cause daddy's sleeping someplace else?

To be honest. I'm a homo and couldn't care how you satisfy vaginas. Thank you.

What if she gets too impatient and starts pressing her body urgently aginst yours? Geez, do I really have to answer that? What if? Use your imagination....


But for the record, I prefer caressing to groping... less urgency, more sensuality...

Does anybody here have any good lines I (we) could use on my (our) girlfriend(s). Girls- you could help us out by giving us some lines that've worked on you.

by helping me out you'd be utterly apprechiated.

Your the reason I wake each morning, the reason can stand to head to my job, the reason I live.

Well, normally something along those lines I tell her.

But as was said before. It is worthless if it doesnt come from your heart. Most women are not as dumb as some think. They can tell if you are saying something just to get a lil sumthin sumthin.

:fluffle:

To be honest. I'm a homo and couldn't care how you satisfy vaginas. Thank you.??...so why exactly are you cruising a thread on sweet things to say to girlfriends?

I guess my advice would work on a guy if you aimed a little lower....

??...so why exactly are you cruising a thread on sweet things to say to girlfriends?

I guess my advice would work on a guy if you aimed a little lower....

I like laughing at straight guys who try and change from jock, gay bashers into sensual woman lovers at the flick of a thread.

And hey gay guys are just as noice and loving etc etc.

Oh, I have a better question..

Why aren't there more guys like you who think there should be more girls like me?

Hah!
we're here, trust me

I like laughing at straight guys who try and change from jock, gay bashers into sensual woman lovers at the flick of a thread.


How exactly are those two things conflicting ? That they would need to change ?

How exactly are those two things conflicting ? That they would need to change ?

Sensual people wouldn't bash people.

Sensual people wouldn't bash people.Don't bother explaining....if you have to they're not gonna get it anyways...