NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.buttafly.com/bush/index.php

Play nice now...

George W. Bush rigged the 2000 election so that white men and the Christian Coalition could offend liberals.

Hm.. Sounds about right.

I was expecting more....

George W. Bush invaded Iraq so that Ann Coulter and white men could conquer Iraqis.

George Bush is placing foward ultra radical socially conservative view points, to alienate people from the Republican party, as part of his evil plan to get a 'liberal' democrat elected president in 2008. He will then, with his liberal ally, turn American into a communist police state, by organising for Osama bin Laden to fly a train into the Statue of Liberty. Using the powers of the super-commie-state, Bush and his liberal allies will then team up with China and try to steal all the Western worlds food to solve the obesity crisis.

Bah! I need no generator!
I remember MKULTRA and his giant ray-crystal :P

Thereby...
Once upon a time, my goat ate a bush, and this bush was in my neighbors

yard, and my neighbor didnt like this, so he was like "Waaaaaaarrrrr!"

and came after me with a shotgun and I was like "DUDE!" and he was like

"DUDE!" and tried to shoot me, but I had a big stick and I hit him with

it and he went "Dude..." and died, so I took his gun and broke all the

windows in his house and he was dead at that point so he couldnt really

comment on it.
Anyway, I went down to the lake and my friend was there, and I was like

"Dude, you kissed a guy last night!" and he was like "Dude, but the

lighting was bad!" and I was like "Whatever, dude." and threw him in

the lake.
Anyway, I wanted to water ski at this point so I went to the rental

shack and the guy was like "$39876987696324293.23 per hour, plus

$50,000,000 for damages," and I was like "Woooah" and then I hit him

with a waterski, which I then rode. So I was on the lake and my other

friends are like "Dude, I got the new SSX-55234 and I can beat you any

day!" and my other friend was like, "I got the V23 555, and it can

pwnzor you!" and I was like "Hey, I got this greyish-red piece of crap

rental," and they laughed at me and told me they were just leaving. I

got kinda mad at this point and rammed them, proving once and for all

that rental speeders, while not as fast as custom-jobs are much more

durable. Once I had tied my friends to their sinking jet-skies I left

for the park to eat some babies, but apparently my saturday habits had

already been observed, and no mothers were there with their babies, so

I had to settle for the Duck&Bum seasoned with pond scum and cooked in

gasoline. Its not as good as baby, but it really fills you up, although

sometimes its hard to catch the ducks and boiling an entire pond is a

real pain. Anyway after that I went to the police station and was like

"Dude! I didnt do it!" and the cops were like "Yeah, whatever." and

shot me a few times. This pissed me off a bit so I ate their skulls,

and they were like "Dude, my skull!" and I laughed at them, because

they had nothing to protect their brains, which were subject to much

poking shortly thereafter. So then I took all their guns and went on a

rampage in downtown, but this didnt go over well and the military came

and shot me a few times as well, which made me angry but really didnt

hurt that much, so I ate their skulls as well. I was kinda full at that

point but all the calcium was good for my bones, so I let it pass.

After that it went downhill 'cause Godzilla came and tried to eat me

but I was too fast and gave him a shotgun suppository, which slowed him

down quite a bit, but was rather nasty. Rodan came as well but nobody

really cared about him except for Godzilla, and they made sweet, sweet

love all night and kept the neighbors up, or crushed them. Whichever.

After all its freedom of expression and all that. Godzilla was happy

about it though, and smoked a ciggarette the size of downtown which

gave everybody cancer and turned them into zombies for some reason,

although this passed unnoticed because an asteroid hit Godzilla and

coated most of the town in scales and assorted goo. Rhodan was kinda

sad, but said 'Meh, dude' and few off to find somebody else his size.

The zombies proceded to consume Godzillas flesh and were happy,

enabling me to go on a shotgun rampage against them when they started

their elections and were trying to trade with the outside world to

establish a new undead civilization. Cant have that sort of thing, now

can we? Anyway, once the zombies were dead I still had to deal with the

mess in the town, zombies are messy eaters and I really had a hard time

getting the brains out of the sidewalk. It took me only a few years but

now the town is in good condition but I have to keep people out, so

theres a big corpse wall outside. Basicaly my plan is that I can kill

enough people and cement the corpses together to form a giant tower to

channel the evil necromatic energies of the world into me so that I can

raise the army of the dead and overun Canada and establish an evil

empire, with many, many hot female dominatrix torturer persons as well

as a few subervient types for me. Anyway thats in the future, who wants

to join? Just sell me your soul and your guarunteed citizenship. If you

dont join I will just have to consume your soul anyway and its a very

unpleasant process but I will do it to each and every person who doesnt

join. Aside from that I need a new goat, because my old one was eaten

by Rhodan. Typing this rant has givin me a cramp in my neck, so Ill

leave it up to whoever wants to to continue it, please be my guest but

continue with the randomness and lack of puncuation and such,

mispellings are good as well, and frequent uses of the word 'dude'.
Also, I went to the white house and I was like, DUDE! This is nice!

And the president was there and he was like, DUDE! You cant be here!,

and I was like sez you! and shot him, then these guys in black robes

came out and were like, dude! You shot our figurehead! Now we cannot

take over the world, dude! and I was like, dude! Illuminati! And they

were like ohshit! He figured it out! RUN! and they ran and I shot them

anyway, just 'cause.

DISCLAIMER:
WARNING: The preceding document contains content which may present a

hazard to your mental health, those in an unbalanced state SHOULD NOT

READ IT. Those in a balanced state should drink at least six cups of

high caffine coffee before attempting to comprehend it.
I do not support or condone the eating of babies or bums. Duck is quite

good however.

So Nah :P

my own conspiracy theory? Myrth was actually Jack the Ripper! :eek:

Richard Milhouse Nixon, Henry Kissinger, George Herbert Walker Bush and Lyndon Baines Johnson all shot Kennedy at the same time. The only one's who were working together were Nixon and Kissinger. Everyone else was doing it on their own.

In fact, Nixon was the spotter, Kissinger was the shooter.

Richard Milhouse Nixon, Henry Kissinger, George Herbert Walker Bush and Lyndon Baines Johnson all shot Kennedy at the same time. The only one's who were working together were Nixon and Kissinger. Everyone else was doing it on their own.

In fact, Nixon was the spotter, Kissinger was the shooter.

Actually Kennedy shot himself. He was quite clearly on the grassy knole; it even says on his schedule.

The Queen Mother was actually dead long long ago, and what we saw, was actually a robot version of her. It's exactly the same with the old Pope. The only reason why they kept their deaths a secret was because Bill gates would realise that they stole his Windows 95 Computer robots to act as them, and he would sue. That's why they died at around the same time. They crashed after gaining a virus from the millenium! :eek:

Kind of a limited generator. I racked my brain for the best way to portray what was in my head, and it just didn't turn out right. Ah well. At least the first few words were close -- "George W. Bush rigged 9/11....."

George W. Bush caused the Cubs to lose to the Marlins in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series so that big corporations and SUV owners could steal from The United Nations. :D

<-conservative and hot. I know, can you believe it? HAHAHAHA *goes back to doing biochem.>

George W. Bush had Michael Jackson arrested so that The Jews could oppress women.

George W. Bush caused the Cubs to lose to the Marlins in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series so that SUV owners could invade The French.

AND




George W. Bush has not captured Osama bin Laden so that oil companies could conquer The United Nations.

George W. Bush has not captured Osama bin Laden so that Ann Coulter and SUV owners could kill The French.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=510686 Sorry to interupt, emergency please respond! :eek:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=510686 Sorry to interupt, emergency please respond! :eek:

plz don't post 2 advertise a thread.

There is a secret organization that collects all the lost socks from washing machines and turns them into the knit caps you buy at 99 cent stores. :cool:

There is a god of parking named Easy who secretly gets 10% of all money put in parking meters as a tithe. :)

The CIA secretly recruited Elvis Presley to negotiate with aliens from Alpha Centauri in Area 51 because the aliens liked "Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes." :p

The lonesome hitchhiker we see on roadways who gives people secret advice then disappears in an instant is really not Jesus Christ like he says, he is, but the reincarnated spirit of Socrates. :D

The Freemasons did not build the pyramids of Egypt, but rather a lost tribe who wandered in from Easter Island. ;)

There are so many conspiracies trying to rule the world that the Rosicrucians control the toilet paper factories, the Masons control the soda fountains, the CIA controls Pepsi Cola, and nobody really is in control. :gundge: