NationStates Jolt Archive

This question came to mind when I saw two very different reactions to a similar problem. One, I believe was a reaction coming from a community perspective, and one came from an individualist perspective.

Two single mothers each with two children under four, one in the city, one in a small town. Their children were asked over to play with the neighbour kids who just moved in. Both sets of kids were showing signs of neglect, greasy hair, dirty clothes, very hungry. They were also totally unable to play with the neighbour kids, and just sat and watched them, having no idea as to what to do.

In the city example, the neighbour called child welfare, began a terrible process of 'interventions' and forever alienated the other mom. In the country example, the neighbour visited the mom, saw how completely stressed out she was, as well as being very young, inexperienced, and without a shred of support from friends or family. She invited the other mom over, showed her how to prepare food for the kids to last a couple of days, talked to her about the stresses of parenting, had the kids over to learn how to play with other kids, and generally opened her home to this family. Now these neighbours have a bond, and their children are all happier for having playmates.

The city mom, my cousin, felt she would have been overstepping her bounds had she done what I did with my neighbour. She never even thought of reaching out and offering help. I couldn't have imagined reacting any differently. Had my help been refused, and had I continued to see signs of neglect, I would have contacted community services and requested they make contact. But to not reach out first...the idea seems alien.

So what happened to the sense of community in the city? Where you can live for years and never know your neighbours? Where you would feel more comfortable with calling in the authorities than inviting your neighbour for tea?

It's even worse in southern England, especially London. I've not once exchanged more than a dozen words with any of our neighbours in the two years I've been here. It wasn't much different when I grew up out in the sticks. This mentality is frequently mocked by northern Englanders who, in the rural areas at least, seem to have maintained a much stronger sense of community.

It's so sad.

Which city was that in? It certainly doesn’t seem that way here in New York. There is a Tenants’ Association in the building that meets about once a month, and without our consent the landlord can’t do anything. We can also petition him to get rid of tenants who annoy us by putting on loud music at 2 AM or clean the basement, which is starting to smell like…well, I won’t go into that right now. It’s almost a democracy. I don’t know if it’s like that in other buildings (I’ve been living in this one for 7 y ears and haven’t had cause to move elsewhere), but I’ve gotten to meet quite a few interesting people. It’s a bit like a miniature NS forum.

~Envoy of the Nova~

So what happened to the sense of community in the city? Where you can live for years and never know your neighbours? Where you would feel more comfortable with calling in the authorities than inviting your neighbour for tea?
i wish i knew :(

but another short example could be something i read about in yesterday's times. in some city in the US (forget where it was) a retired man enjoyed gardening in the nude, which was a problem for his neighbours. and sure enough every year they'd fix the problem by just calling the cops and having the man arrested. they said in the interview "we never spoke to the guy, just called the cops - he'd come out in the spring, we'd have him arrested and he'd be out of our hair for the summer" (or words to that effect)

why couldn't they just talk to the guy first? lack of comunity and all that...

We live in an insular world now, where if necessary we don't have to even step outside our homes. This inevitably leads to a breakdown of community, as one of the first requirements of a community,self-reference, is lost; no reciprocated associations or mutual assistance. As these things have progressively dissapeared, the barriers which help to prevent suspicion and materialism decay and people become even more insular. It's a vicious cycle. How often do you hear of someone offering assistance, only to get punched in the face, or taken advatange of?

So what happened to the sense of community in the city? Where you can live for years and never know your neighbours? Where you would feel more comfortable with calling in the authorities than inviting your neighbour for tea?

No idea. Maybe it's the "survival of the fittest" thing is stronger there. Maybe city people are more willing to tattle on the people who live next door because they don't need them. Maybe the reason you feel a stronger sense of community in the country is because you have fewer neighbours, thus you grow together in order to survive.

Country people are symbiotic; city people are parasitic.

I do not really know. I suppose it could be because of the fact that city people tend to feel a bit more individualistic due to the amount of people in existence and as such use authorities to solve problems while country people are more communalistic due to the lack of city authorities and the feeling of a tight-knit community that comes from smaller groups. This does not surprise me very much.

As a city person, I generally prefer to mind my own business unless someone else's problem is harming me in some way. Of course, people have different versions of what that means.

How often do you hear of someone offering assistance, only to get punched in the face, or taken advatange of?
Unfortunately, more often than you hear about the more common events of offering help, and things going fine....one is newsworthy, and the other is not.

I have two faces...one for the city, and one for the country. In the city, greeting people who walk by you gets you strange looks at best. In the country, ignoring people who walk by you gets you the same. Sometimes I get mixed up, and greet people in the city anyway. I can see them thinking that I must be mentally ill :(

Living in the suburbs we know our nextdoor neighbours well enough for them to collect our mail and feed our cat and things if we aren't there. I help one of them carry things up from her car sometimes. There aren't any kids for a few houses though so its hard to say.

A "community" is the way people interact with each other when they're living close to each other. Very ironically, the more people gathering together, the less "communal" they are like. That is why capitalism thrives in the city and industrialised, urbanised countries and socialism is more popular in rustic, underdeveloped places.

It's just the way it is.

if you live where you were born and raised and you know everyone in your neighborhood since you were a child you have a community. depending on the situation you either help the stressed out family or you drive them out of town.

if you life in the suburbs where 25% of the people are new each year and you havent known anyone for more than 5 years, you have nothing. being community minded MEANS calling social services on the stressed family rather than ignoring the problem.

modern families go where the jobs and money are. they dont live near their families. they start all over with friends every time they move (more frequently than every 5 years). they have a better financial life but a poorer social life.

As a city person, I generally prefer to mind my own business unless someone else's problem is harming me in some way. Of course, people have different versions of what that means.
That's what I mean...minding your own business...there is a resistance to reaching out, whether from fear (of a bad reaction, or from someone latching onto you), apathy, or uncertainty (am I overstepping my bounds, who am I to butt in, what can I really do...). Yet it seems to me, that the commonality of our experiences as humans is the need for social interaction. We all crave it...and yet we slowly disconnect ourselves from it, moving away from family, living in a crowded, yet isolating urban center, rarely taking notice of what happens outside our own doorstep. The extreme end of this social dislocation seems to me to be illustrated in the mentally ill and the homeless wandering the streets like ghosts...

As a city person, I generally prefer to mind my own business unless someone else's problem is harming me in some way. Of course, people have different versions of what that means.Well, that’s true about most of us. If someone got mugged on the street and I was in the vicinity, I’d probably just run for my life and hope the mugger didn’t see me. (I’m not aggressive enough of a person to karate-chop the guy in his rear end.)

~Envoy of the Nova~

A "community" is the way people interact with each other when they're living close to each other. Very ironically, the more people gathering together, the less "communal" they are like. That is why capitalism thrives in the city and industrialised, urbanised countries and socialism is more popular in rustic, underdeveloped places.

It's just the way it is.
No, it's not just the way it is, as though that's the only option or reaction to the urban experience.

My husband grew up in the capital of Chile, Santiago, in a neighbourhood with a population that by far exceeds the town I live in. And yet, everyone knew everyone else. People met on the streets, in each other's homes, played soccer together, cooked together...in fact, the kind of community that these people have is by far more involved that even my own experiences. It's a cultural thing, not an inevitability.

I have a neighbour who has never spoken to us. I was going to use this as an example of the decline of community. But his hermit-like ways might be attributed to the fact we kept getting his mail for a while, and it was subscriptions to some of the most outlandish p0rn I have ever seen....

Community?

Sounds Kinky....

Unfortunately, more often than you hear about the more common events of offering help, and things going fine....one is newsworthy, and the other is not.

I have two faces...one for the city, and one for the country. In the city, greeting people who walk by you gets you strange looks at best. In the country, ignoring people who walk by you gets you the same. Sometimes I get mixed up, and greet people in the city anyway. I can see them thinking that I must be mentally ill :(

same thing happens to me. im so used to greeting everyone i pass whether i know them or not, that i forget sometimes in the city that it is considered a bit crazy to do so. then i have to start reminding myself to not treat people like they were some kind of robot. i have to force myself to say "good morning" before i start into whatever business i have with them.

I actually live in a very tight knit community, both when I am at home or at school. And the community at work (I live at work for 2-3 months every year, and am totally cut off from mainstream civilization) consists of 30-40 if us who would give our lives to save another in a hearbeat. So I guess I am from some woderful communities.

if you live where you were born and raised and you know everyone in your neighborhood since you were a child you have a community. depending on the situation you either help the stressed out family or you drive them out of town.

if you life in the suburbs where 25% of the people are new each year and you havent known anyone for more than 5 years, you have nothing. being community minded MEANS calling social services on the stressed family rather than ignoring the problem.

modern families go where the jobs and money are. they dont live near their families. they start all over with friends every time they move (more frequently than every 5 years). they have a better financial life but a poorer social life.
I disagree. We moved in last year, and these people only moved in the year before that. I've moved 13 times in the last 10 years, and my neighbour has moved 6 times. Neither of us are from this town we live in, yet both of us are comfortable with the idea of getting to know our neighbours. She grew up in a city...how do you account for that?

Community is what you make it. When I live in apartment buildings, I got to know my neighbours. Most of them thought it was pretty weird that I'd knock on their door and introduce myself...but I never got the cold shoulder from a one of them. When I locked myself out, the landlord happily let me in with no charge. I spent a lot of time visiting my neighbours, and I still call a few of them every now and again to say hi. None of them were used to this, but they liked it. I think very few people would really hate having their neighbours be friendly. Yes, the true hermits DO exist...but you get the sense of who really wants you to never bother them again :D

No, it's not just the way it is, as though that's the only option or reaction to the urban experience.

My husband grew up in the capital of Chile, Santiago, in a neighbourhood with a population that by far exceeds the town I live in. And yet, everyone knew everyone else. People met on the streets, in each other's homes, played soccer together, cooked together...in fact, the kind of community that these people have is by far more involved that even my own experiences. It's a cultural thing, not an inevitability.

Once people become richer, they don't really give a damn about their neighbours. Santiago, Chile, isn't the richest place out of all. The community spirit still exists. In many major cities seclusion is rampant and the "community" spirit is gone. That is probably one of the most important reasons why suicide rates are so much higher in cities - except that housewife on Wisteria Lane in the pilot episode. :p

However, sometimes everybody knowing everybody isn't too great either. All the secrets are out and there could be a lot of foul history running on in today's relationships, and can be as equally devastating as depression in cities. Read Arthur Miller's The Crucible.

This question came to mind when I saw two very different reactions to a similar problem. One, I believe was a reaction coming from a community perspective, and one came from an individualist perspective.

Two single mothers each with two children under four, one in the city, one in a small town. Their children were asked over to play with the neighbour kids who just moved in. Both sets of kids were showing signs of neglect, greasy hair, dirty clothes, very hungry. They were also totally unable to play with the neighbour kids, and just sat and watched them, having no idea as to what to do.

In the city example, the neighbour called child welfare, began a terrible process of 'interventions' and forever alienated the other mom. In the country example, the neighbour visited the mom, saw how completely stressed out she was, as well as being very young, inexperienced, and without a shred of support from friends or family. She invited the other mom over, showed her how to prepare food for the kids to last a couple of days, talked to her about the stresses of parenting, had the kids over to learn how to play with other kids, and generally opened her home to this family. Now these neighbours have a bond, and their children are all happier for having playmates.

The city mom, my cousin, felt she would have been overstepping her bounds had she done what I did with my neighbour. She never even thought of reaching out and offering help. I couldn't have imagined reacting any differently. Had my help been refused, and had I continued to see signs of neglect, I would have contacted community services and requested they make contact. But to not reach out first...the idea seems alien.

So what happened to the sense of community in the city? Where you can live for years and never know your neighbours? Where you would feel more comfortable with calling in the authorities than inviting your neighbour for tea?
You might want to read "The Lonely Crowd," by David Riesman ( I think ). It addresses this very issue.

Community was destroyed by television.

Simply, now that you don't need to leave the house to be entertained, one tends not to as much. With video games, pre recorded movies (DVD, VHS, PAL... whatever), and the Internet, it's only gotten worse.

I have one friend who practically leave home. He codes from home, his groceries are delivered, and he plays lots of video games. If he didn't have friends from high school, I doubt he would *ever* leave the house...

I disagree. We moved in last year, and these people only moved in the year before that. I've moved 13 times in the last 10 years, and my neighbour has moved 6 times. Neither of us are from this town we live in, yet both of us are comfortable with the idea of getting to know our neighbours. She grew up in a city...how do you account for that?

Community is what you make it. When I live in apartment buildings, I got to know my neighbours. Most of them thought it was pretty weird that I'd knock on their door and introduce myself...but I never got the cold shoulder from a one of them. When I locked myself out, the landlord happily let me in with no charge. I spent a lot of time visiting my neighbours, and I still call a few of them every now and again to say hi. None of them were used to this, but they liked it. I think very few people would really hate having their neighbours be friendly. Yes, the true hermits DO exist...but you get the sense of who really wants you to never bother them again :D
That's a lot like me in apartment buildings. Or rather, my apartment building. I now know almost everyone on my floor.

~Envoy of the Nova~

Once people become richer, they don't really give a damn about their neighbours. Santiago, Chile, isn't the richest place out of all. The community spirit still exists. In many major cities seclusion is rampant and the "community" spirit is gone. That is probably one of the most important reasons why suicide rates are so much higher in cities - except that housewife on Wisteria Lane in the pilot episode. :p Well, my husband did grow up in one of the poorest areas of Santiago, so perhaps you're right about poverty bringing people together (or if not poverty, lower financial stability). I and yet I don't think that poor neighbourhoods in Western cities are really anymore communal than in Majority world cities...that'd be interesting to look into.

I think it has something to do with needing help, as well...as in, needing more hands than your own to finish a task. I've found out that in my community, during the harvest season, the kids are expected to come around and offer to help you with your garden plots. It's kind of a tradition...and a way to get to know people. When you buy all your food in the supermarket, such a thing would not be possible.

I've lived in cities, and small towns...and I know the annoyance of having your private life be the talk of the town, and I've enjoyed at time the anonymity of urban centres. But Rarely is the talk malicious, and rarely does it truly impact you. In a way, it's kind of a reminder to live well, because people will look, will judge, and will react. I can still keep certain aspects of my life very private. It also teaches you not to have a loose tongue...not when the person you're talking about is related to, or knows the people you're telling the story to...

In adversity, we come together. In good times, we come together. Even with all the gossip, and all the stressful (at times) intimacy, you learn to deal with things that actually matter, and not notice the things that don't. It's like living in a big family. There are always going to be things about the other people you live with that bother you, but you find ways to work around it. You accept that 'Farmer Brown' won't shut up about his dead wife, and you ignore the constant ramblings, because aside from that, he's really knowledgeable about crops, and has some great tips for you. Or that the corner store owner sleeps with prostitutes...but hey, so what...he's a great dad, and he sends care packages to the senior's home every Monday.


However, sometimes everybody knowing everybody isn't too great either. All the secrets are out and there could be a lot of foul history running on in today's relationships, and can be as equally devastating as depression in cities. Read Arthur Miller's The Crucible.
Of course it depends on the community dynamic. Some can be terrribly repressive. But I think the norm is fairly give and take.

Community was destroyed by television.

Simply, now that you don't need to leave the house to be entertained, one tends not to as much. With video games, pre recorded movies (DVD, VHS, PAL... whatever), and the Internet, it's only gotten worse.

I have one friend who practically leave home. He codes from home, his groceries are delivered, and he plays lots of video games. If he didn't have friends from high school, I doubt he would *ever* leave the house...Generalization alert!!!

I know communities that are built on television, the Internet, etc. And real-life communities, too. For example, a friend of mine (who introduced me to NationStates) started a NationStates little gathering which would meet once a week at the library to play NS. That was back in 2004. I joined the game, had some fun, and then forgot about it. Then he (who is still playing) told me about the forums, and I came back with this new nation (my original was called Carpe Diem or something like that). That's how I found NS, by the way.

~Envoy of the Nova~

Generalization alert!!!

I know communities that are built on television, the Internet, etc. And real-life communities, too. For example, a friend of mine (who introduced me to NationStates) started a NationStates little gathering which would meet once a week at the library to play NS. That was back in 2004. I joined the game, had some fun, and then forgot about it. Then he (who is still playing) told me about the forums, and I came back with this new nation (my original was called Carpe Diem or something like that). That's how I found NS, by the way.

~Envoy of the Nova~

I'm talking about local/neighborhood community, of course.

Community was destroyed by television.

Simply, now that you don't need to leave the house to be entertained, one tends not to as much. With video games, pre recorded movies (DVD, VHS, PAL... whatever), and the Internet, it's only gotten worse.

I have one friend who practically leave home. He codes from home, his groceries are delivered, and he plays lots of video games. If he didn't have friends from high school, I doubt he would *ever* leave the house...
Yeah, I'm kind of worried about this in my own kids...my daughter has been watching more tv lately, and not wanting to go outside. She only 3 and a half! I see my neice and nephew (my husband's sister's kids) and their idea of 'going outside' involves a five minute laze-about in the shade. Not healthy. I'm considering axing the tv for the rest of the summer. It's an easy out for me, because then I don't have to be an active parent, but it's going to bite us all in the ass...

...two cousins of my husband's lost their father in the coup of '73 in Chile. They grew up in Canada while the rest of my husband's family lived in Chile. You can really see the difference...those two became so isolated, watching tv and playing computers, that they are now in their thirties, and never leave the house, will never have families...you can't blame it ALL on tv of course, but they never learned how to be social, and it's stunted them.

The flip-side to "community" is the people who take it upon themselves to protect their town or neighborhood from "strange" people, e.g. ethnic minorities, gays, people who dress strange, non christians, etc. I'm not saying that everyone who is community minded is like that, but that community spirit has its dark side as well.

The flip-side to "community" is the people who take it upon themselves to protect their town or neighborhood from "strange" people, e.g. ethnic minorities, gays, people who dress strange, non christians, etc. I'm not saying that everyone who is community minded is like that, but that community spirit has its dark side as well.
Of course it does...everything has a dark side. (cue Star Wars music!)

Take that sense of 'community' up to the national level and you absolutely have a point.

But just like moving to a new town and integrating yourself into the community takes effort, so does moving to a new country. Some communities will make it difficult for you, for whatever reason. In Inuvik, (Northwest Territories, population 4000), it was very hard to be accepted, because they see so many people come and go. They are wary about opening up to someone who will likely leave within two years. I found the town I'm in to be a lot easier. Buying a house helped...it sends out the signal that you plan to stay.

Sometimes, Sin-you're damned if you do and damned if you dont.
There are so many potential variables. Today's society is so judgemental-usually in hindsight. Its also very litgious.

Here in NJ, the department of child welfare is reacting to disaster after disaster. Kids are dying in homes that are already under investigation-by supposed professionals.


What if you do nothing? And a child subsequently dies?
What if you do something? And a family is destroyed?

I'm not a social worker-I dont know how to deal with these issues best. I do know that action taken with the best intentions can be extremely harmful.
As can ignoring a problem.

I was actually talking about this with some friends just last night. It seems to me that this problem is the product of the American Dream, the ultimate individualist ideal; why is having a white picket fence so important, other than to separate yourself and your property from your neighbors and community? I grew up in a small Central Californian town where nobody knew their neighbors; everybody stayed inside their houses when they were at home, entertaining themselves with their TVs and other hard-earned possessions; sidewalks were empty because everybody drove their own SUV or pickup everywhere, so no one was ever outside interracting with other human beings; despite an almost nonexistent crime rate, there were several gated communities and many households had security systems; non-Christians were socially outcasted, minorities were marginalized, homeless people were removed from the city limits, and strangers were viewed with suspicion unless they purchased something. Is this the American Dream, I wonder? Is this the ideal so many are striving for, to become independent enough as individuals that we need nothing from one another?

Is this the ideal so many are striving for, to become independent enough as individuals that we need nothing from one another?If so, then we're fooling ourselves. We're always going to need one another. Perhaps we just want to be separated from that fact...not know the people who produce our food and our goods, who teach our children, who care for our health. I don't know. But I'm a paranoid one. I always think some disaster is coming, and I want to be prepared. In my mind, being self-sufficient is not separating yourself from others...it's learning how to take care of yourself and your family at a subsistence level (just in case:)) and it's about learning how to form connections with others. To me, being a hermit only makes you vulnerable, and weaker, not stronger.

I think the thing is, in the city you can pick and choose who your "community" will be. I have dozens of friends and acquaintances, and if I call them up we can see each other any day of the week. I don't have to feel "community" with the guy next door if I don't want to.

If so, then we're fooling ourselves. We're always going to need one another. Perhaps we just want to be separated from that fact...not know the people who produce our food and our goods, who teach our children, who care for our health. I don't know. But I'm a paranoid one. I always think some disaster is coming, and I want to be prepared. In my mind, being self-sufficient is not separating yourself from others...it's learning how to take care of yourself and your family at a subsistence level (just in case:)) and it's about learning how to form connections with others. To me, being a hermit only makes you vulnerable, and weaker, not stronger.


I mostly agree with you.

Last week I saw one of those signs outside a church-the ones where they change the massage from time to time- it said "Make friends before your NEED them"
I thought this was a good piece of advice.

You should be friendly with your neighbors, at the very least. In some cases, this isnt possible-I know.
I'm lucky to have good, friendly neighbors.

I mostly agree with you.

Last week I saw one of those signs outside a church-the ones where they change the massage from time to time- it said "Make friends before your NEED them"
I thought this was a good piece of advice.
Kind of my thoughts...it might seem calculating, but I don't think it is. My husband helps a family out with their electrical wiring, and we know that if we need it, we'll have someone to help us with our plumbing. It's all give and take. I host a BBQ one night, you do it the next...and in the meantime, we get to know one another, and help each other out.

There will always be those who 'abuse the system' and take, but never reciprocate. In a community, that kind of attitude becomes publicly known very soon, and helping hands stop helping.

Yeah, I'm kind of worried about this in my own kids...my daughter has been watching more tv lately, and not wanting to go outside. She only 3 and a half! I see my neice and nephew (my husband's sister's kids) and their idea of 'going outside' involves a five minute laze-about in the shade. Not healthy. I'm considering axing the tv for the rest of the summer. It's an easy out for me, because then I don't have to be an active parent, but it's going to bite us all in the ass...

...two cousins of my husband's lost their father in the coup of '73 in Chile. They grew up in Canada while the rest of my husband's family lived in Chile. You can really see the difference...those two became so isolated, watching tv and playing computers, that they are now in their thirties, and never leave the house, will never have families...you can't blame it ALL on tv of course, but they never learned how to be social, and it's stunted them.

Back in the day, we weren't allowed to have the TV on if the sun was out during summer vacation...

I was actually talking about this with some friends just last night. It seems to me that this problem is the product of the American Dream, the ultimate individualist ideal; why is having a white picket fence so important, other than to separate yourself and your property from your neighbors and community? I grew up in a small Central Californian town where nobody knew their neighbors; everybody stayed inside their houses when they were at home, entertaining themselves with their TVs and other hard-earned possessions; sidewalks were empty because everybody drove their own SUV or pickup everywhere, so no one was ever outside interracting with other human beings; despite an almost nonexistent crime rate, there were several gated communities and many households had security systems; non-Christians were socially outcasted, minorities were marginalized, homeless people were removed from the city limits, and strangers were viewed with suspicion unless they purchased something. Is this the American Dream, I wonder? Is this the ideal so many are striving for, to become independent enough as individuals that we need nothing from one another?

Actually it's strange you should mention that because I've just finished reading book called 'watching the Englsih' I really recomend it. it gived the exact same example as a British ideal. You know living in the countryside miles away from anyone, so if you do have to live near some one with a nice garden protecting you. From i think it's the same thing. The good thing is that We live on a small Island so we are going to have to live closer together as city centres are rebuilt. This I think would be a good thing for society.

Back in the day, we weren't allowed to have the TV on if the sun was out during summer vacation...
Back in the day, you had 'farmer vision' (3 channels) and nothing worth watching anyway! :D

So what happened to the sense of community in the city? Where you can live for years and never know your neighbours? Where you would feel more comfortable with calling in the authorities than inviting your neighbour for tea?


Democrats live in the city... :p It's funny AND it's true. Almost all the differences between the parties can be lined up with what you have stumbled across with your example in the first post. Those who 'think' of community (your definition of it) and those that think of 'individuals' (your definition of it) are 'why' some people agree with conservatives and others think like liberals.

Democrats live in the city... :p It's funny AND it's true. Almost all the differences between the parties can be lined up with what you have stumbled across with your example in the first post. Those who 'think' of community (your definition of it) and those that think of 'individuals' (your definition of it are 'why' some people agree with conservatives and others think like liberals. Kind of weird if you consider that conservatives are supposed to be the ones supporting individualism, and the libs communalism...what a crazy, mixed up world!

Back in the day, you had 'farmer vision' (3 channels) and nothing worth watching anyway! :D

This is true. Until 1987, we only had the local WABC affiliate and two PBS stations. Thus I saw lots of Britcoms early in life...

Kind of my thoughts...it might seem calculating, but I don't think it is. My husband helps a family out with their electrical wiring, and we know that if we need it, we'll have someone to help us with our plumbing. It's all give and take. I host a BBQ one night, you do it the next...and in the meantime, we get to know one another, and help each other out.

There will always be those who 'abuse the system' and take, but never reciprocate. In a community, that kind of attitude becomes publicly known very soon, and helping hands stop helping.


That very "give and take" may be all the relationship ever grows to, too. But its still a relationship and its positive. You're more likely to get along. And a little bit of good will can go a long way down the road.

This is true. Until 1987, we only had the local WABC affiliate and two PBS stations. Thus I saw lots of Britcoms early in life...
Coronation street...

That very "give and take" may be all the relationship ever grows to, too. But its still a relationship and its positive. You're more likely to get along. And a little bit of good will can go a long way down the road.
So I'm not a dirty pinko commie for my communistic beliefs? :D (knows the answer will include, "Of course you are.....)

So I'm not a dirty pinko commie for my communistic beliefs? :D (knows the answer will include, "Of course you are.....)

Of course you are not a dirty pinko commie.

Coronation street...

Not in my area... we got a lot of Are You Being Served? The Prisoner, Mr. Bean, Benny Hill, Doctor Who, Fawlty Towers, Blake's 7, Ab-Fab, Hitchhiker's Guide, Black Adder & Monty Python...

And "I, Claudius" once a year... :)