NationStates Jolt Archive

Here's thing. I really like one of my best mates, and I want to go out with her. Good idea or bad? Would asking her out be the kiss of death for friendship or what?

Here's thing. I really like one of my best mates, and I want to go out with her. Good idea or bad? Would asking her out be the kiss of death for friendship or what?

Consider this. How has she fared with keeping ex lovers as friends? Or close friends that became lovers, who she wound up breaking up with? If she's managed to stay good friends with 'em, then you'll have a good indication how your relationship woud end up if you two didn't make it. If you're comfortable with that, go for it. I dated a former best friend, didn't turn out well. The next best friend, I wound up getting engaged to, which has worked out nicely.

What makes you want to "go out with her?" If you are looking for the physical side of a relationship, it can still happen without the title. If you are looking for companionship, you can have that in a friend, even a pleutonic one. You have to be very careful about dating a friend, as they sometimes go crazy on you, and you can end up with not only no girlfriend, but without that person as the same quality of friend you once had.

Here's thing. I really like one of my best mates, and I want to go out with her. Good idea or bad? Would asking her out be the kiss of death for friendship or what?
That would depend upon whether you think boinking her would be worth the risk of losing her as a friend. Remember, only you can prevent bush-fires! :D

Consider this. How has she fared with keeping ex lovers as friends? Or close friends that became lovers, who she wound up breaking up with? If she's managed to stay good friends with 'em, then you'll have a good indication how your relationship woud end up if you two didn't make it. If you're comfortable with that, go for it. I dated a former best friend, didn't turn out well. The next best friend, I wound up getting engaged to, which has worked out nicely.She's stayed friend's with one of them but not another, although to be fair he was an absolute dick. Thanx for advice. Congratz on getting married.

What makes you want to "go out with her?" If you are looking for the physical side of a relationship, it can still happen without the title. If you are looking for companionship, you can have that in a friend, even a pleutonic one. You have to be very careful about dating a friend, as they sometimes go crazy on you, and you can end up with not only no girlfriend, but without that person as the same quality of friend you once had.I want physical and companionship. I'm not about bonking people and nothing else.

Here's thing. I really like one of my best mates, and I want to go out with her. Good idea or bad? Would asking her out be the kiss of death for friendship or what?
Just ask, you're no where near as likely to regret the chances you take as much as you are the chances you didn't take. And when you ask, give her a chance to say yes. Ask like you're more than fucking entitled to ask, she's not doing you a favor by listening, you're doing her a favor by asking. Be confident, have a plan, however simple (up to the lake for a campfire, hotdogs, swimming, and smores a movie and drinks it doesn't matter what) look her in the eyes and if you have to practice asking her a hundred times (simple and direct) by yourself in the dark to get it out with some confidence do that. If you need permission, I'm giving it to you.

That would depend upon whether you think boinking her would be worth the risk of losing her as a friend. Remember, only you can prevent bush-fires! :D
egad! you horny old bugger!

Here's thing. I really like one of my best mates, and I want to go out with her. Good idea or bad? Would asking her out be the kiss of death for friendship or what?
Asking for advice on NS was a bad idea...

That would depend upon whether you think boinking her would be worth the risk of losing her as a friend. Remember, only you can prevent bush-fires! :D

Bush-fires, eh? No pun intended?

She's stayed friend's with one of them but not another, although to be fair he was an absolute dick. Thanx for advice. Congratz on getting married.

You're welcome, and thank you, though I'm not married quite yet.

egad! you horny old bugger!
lol!! Well guess I'd better take my chances and ask.

You're welcome, and thank you, though I'm not married quite yet.
I meant in the future.

Show an interest in her. Try to become a much closer friend to her. She will probably figure out what you are doing and either defuse it by saying something that might maintain the friendship or she might even like the idea. Take a safe route but not one that will keep you from getting what you want.

But it might not be the best thing to take my advice considering that I am not as much of a "love machine" as I like to claim. Just try to maintain a healthy balance between following your head and following your heart(easier said than done) because if you forget one then you might really screw something up.

lol!! Well guess I'd better take my chances and ask.

well, before you do, take the old man's advice and pick yourself up some of this. (https://secure.quixion.net/bushrag/store/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=88)

Show an interest in her. Try to become a much closer friend to her. She will probably figure out what you are doing and either defuse it by saying something that might maintain the friendship or she might even like the idea. Take a safe route but not one that will keep you from getting what you want.

But it might not be the best thing to take my advice considering that I am not as much of a "love machine" as I like to claim. Just try to maintain a healthy balance between following your head and following your heart(easier said than done) because if you forget one then you might really screw something up.
Good idea, worth a try.

her last boyfriend was only interested in sex, got to prove I'm not that little shit. One before him turned gay, and she's friends with him, so hopefully can still stay friends.