NationStates Jolt Archive


Unlikely causes of Death?

The Noble Men
07-08-2005, 02:10
Anyone know of any?

I'm not talking about the Darwin Awards, I'm talking about causes of death that were not contributed in any way by the victims' stupidity.

I mean things like zepplin crashes (unlikely. Who has a zepplin?). I'm talking about light-bulb explosions et cetera.

Yes I'm bored.

(Condolences to the deceased).
JuNii
07-08-2005, 02:12
like shooting and killing yourself with a gun filled with blanks?
Gartref
07-08-2005, 02:12
Spontaneous Human Combustion is pretty rare.
The Noble Men
07-08-2005, 02:14
like shooting and killing yourself with a gun filled with blanks?

Actually, I've heard that's possible at very close range.

Like digging-so-far-into-your-forehead-it-draws-blood close.
Zexaland
07-08-2005, 02:17
Vomitting to death.
Lord-General Drache
07-08-2005, 02:18
Meteorites, Cthulu, the T Virus.
JuNii
07-08-2005, 02:25
Actually, I've heard that's possible at very close range.

Like digging-so-far-into-your-forehead-it-draws-blood close.nope. it can happen at close distance to.

there was an actor who's name escapes me, he placed the gun to his head, not against his temple, and pulled the trigger, the fragments were still large enough to penetrate his skull and he died.

then there was a girl in Hawaii who was crushed when a bolder came loose during a rainstorm and slamed into her bedroom.

eliminating Darwin Award winners makes it so hard.
JuNii
07-08-2005, 02:25
Vomitting to death.there was a bugler in some war... gotta get the references... who blew his horn so loud, long and hard that he litterally fell over dead.
The Noble Men
07-08-2005, 02:37
Vomitting to death.
there was a bugler in some war... gotta get the references... who blew his horn so loud, long and hard that he litterally fell over dead.

Reminds me of the man who made a living by farting out tunes on-stage.

He tried to hard one night, ruptured something and died.

Simply put it, he farted to death.
JuNii
07-08-2005, 02:40
Reminds me of the man who made a living by farting out tunes on-stage.

He tried to hard one night, ruptured something and died.

Simply put it, he farted to death.LOL... never heard of that one... :D
Oak Trail
07-08-2005, 02:43
Reminds me of the man who made a living by farting out tunes on-stage.

He tried to hard one night, ruptured something and died.

Simply put it, he farted to death.

LOL. I got one, how about being bored to death?
E2fencer
07-08-2005, 03:00
Is it possible to die of young age.
Oak Trail
07-08-2005, 03:02
Is it possible to die of young age.

Well my friend Jimmy was six when he died. He died because he did not know that he couldn't fly. Would that count?

Jimmy is an imaginary character that I made up for humor purpose, please do not take it seriously.
Gartref
07-08-2005, 03:03
there was a bugler in some war... gotta get the references... who blew his horn so loud, long and hard that he litterally fell over dead.

Speaking of War.... In every war in history, there had to be one sad sack who was the absolute last casuality. Wouldn't it suck to be the last guy to die in a war?
Zatarack
07-08-2005, 03:08
Sexed to death by supermodels.
Willamena
07-08-2005, 03:14
Swept over a cliff by rampaging lemmings.
Vetalia
07-08-2005, 03:17
Autoerotic asphyxiation; now that's one embarassing obituary.
The Great Sixth Reich
07-08-2005, 03:43
Dieing by having a vending machine fall ontop of you. ;)

NOTE: It has happen, and unfortunately will continue to happen until people are smart enough to realize that shaking a 1,000 pound object results in death if it falls ontop on them.

Source: http://tafkac.org/death/vending_machine_deaths.html
Oak Trail
07-08-2005, 04:05
Sexed to death by supermodels.

That is how I would like to go out. :D
Cynigal
07-08-2005, 04:12
nope. it can happen at close distance to.

there was an actor who's name escapes me, he placed the gun to his head, not against his temple, and pulled the trigger, the fragments were still large enough to penetrate his skull and he died.<snip>
Jason Lee - Bruce Lee's son. Also IIRC one of the male actors from one of those cheezy '80s tv shows. I don't think it was Hasslehoff (Knight Rider) but his name came to mind along with the guy from AirWolf.

How about Killed with a Kleenex (Tissue) box?

When I was an EMT there was a guy who was found dead in his car at a railroad crossing. There were long skid marks and his car was stopped - but undamaged - butted up against the crossing-guard-arm mechanisim. He had no visible signs of trauma (this was before air-bags), but he was obviously quite dead of a C-2/3 basal skull fracture. The only thing we could find in the car was a half crushed (lengthwise) full box of tissues.

What we eventually surmised was that the guy had the box of tissues on the back window ledge. he was driving too fast, and saw the train. He slammed on the brakes, causing the tissue box to fly over the low-backed seat and smack him in the back of the skull at about 50-60 mph. Given the weight of the box, there would have been sufficient kenetic energy to have done the job, so we chalked it up to "accidental death"/"act of God" and did the DOA report.

Was easier than the Decapitation by windshield report we had to do a couple of months earlier... :rolleyes:
Lovfro
07-08-2005, 04:13
The girl in Hyde Park who was struck by lightning. Apparently it was attracted to the metal in her bra.
Cynigal
07-08-2005, 04:16
<snip>Simply put it, he farted to death.
Actually a morbidly obese bed-bound bariatric patient died from inhaling his own flatulence while he slept. There was insufficient air circulation in his room and he literally created a bubble of methane/CO around his bed. Coupled with bariatric sleep apnea his system couldn't take it.

I'll have to find the cite sometime.
E2fencer
07-08-2005, 05:21
Jimmy counts but I wouldn't be surprised if adults (sober ones at that) died from this as well. But that's a Darwin award.
The Lagonia States
07-08-2005, 05:26
Speaking of War.... In every war in history, there had to be one sad sack who was the absolute last casuality. Wouldn't it suck to be the last guy to die in a war?

Patton said the only good way for a real soldier to die is by the last bullet of the last war.
Avika
07-08-2005, 05:39
death by pie is pretty rare, although death by cake is almost uncommon. Rare, but still, don't trust the cakes. :p
Willamena
07-08-2005, 10:20
Being struck by a toilet seat plunging to earth from the Mir space station.

*Tips her hat to Dead Like Me.
[NS]Amestria
07-08-2005, 11:50
Killed by wild lions in Scotland!

You realize both the question and answer to the meaning of life and the Universe ceases to exist and is replaced with something even weirder.

You realize you are actualy an anime character and they kill you off to maintain the integrity of the story!

Hannibal Lector drops by... enough said...
The Noble Men
07-08-2005, 11:58
Jason Lee - Bruce Lee's son. Also IIRC one of the male actors from one of those cheezy '80s tv shows. I don't think it was Hasslehoff (Knight Rider) but his name came to mind along with the guy from AirWolf.

I thought his name was Brandon.
BackwoodsSquatches
07-08-2005, 12:03
Jason Lee - Bruce Lee's son. Also IIRC one of the male actors from one of those cheezy '80s tv shows. I don't think it was Hasslehoff (Knight Rider) but his name came to mind along with the guy from AirWolf.


It was Brandon Lee, and the guy your thinking of, in the cheesy 80's tv show....I cant remember his name, but he was in the show "Voyagers", about a kid and a time cop, who went back into time, to "set it right", when it went wrong.
Florrisant States
07-08-2005, 12:08
Ask an internet forum member if you should drink a bottle of hydrochloric acid.

but I wonder if that is rare? maybe this is more common than I realize!
Laerod
07-08-2005, 12:28
Well, here goes:

Choking to death on toothepaste - That would be interesting...

Freezing to death in a desert - It gets very, very cold at night :p

Breaking your back and drowning in a puddle because you're paralyzed - this was the best end to a fantasy book villian that I have ever read :D
Ancient Valyria
07-08-2005, 12:33
Breaking your back and drowning in a puddle because you're paralyzed - this was the best end to a fantasy book villian that I have ever read :D
who? what? where? :)
Laerod
07-08-2005, 12:38
who? what? where? :)It was in "Das Zerbrochene Rad: Nacht" (The broken Wheel: Night). I don't think it's been translated to English. It's the second part of two books that plays in the world of the German equivalent to D&D, Das Schwarze Auge. The good gal is knocked out and lying against a tree as the bad guy wheels his horse around. The horse trips and rolls over him. He lands face first in a puddle and can't get up.
Ancient Valyria
07-08-2005, 12:39
It was in "Das Zerbrochene Rad: Nacht" (The broken Wheel: Night). I don't think it's been translated to English. aw, too bad. My German isn't good enough to read fantasy novels :p

It's the second part of two books that plays in the world of the German equivalent to D&D, Das Schwarze Auge. The good gal is knocked out and lying against a tree as the bad guy wheels his horse around. The horse trips and rolls over him. He lands face first in a puddle and can't get up.lol :D
Laerod
07-08-2005, 12:47
aw, too bad. My German isn't good enough to read fantasy novels :pI don't know what other languages you know, so I'll just give you the name of the author: Ulrich Kiesow. Amazon.com only showed German entries, but who knows, they might have it in French...
Ancient Valyria
07-08-2005, 12:48
I don't know what other languages you know, so I'll just give you the name of the author: Ulrich Kiesow. Amazon.com only showed German entries, but who knows, they might have it in French...
my french is even worse :D
the only two languages I'm fluent in are Dutch and English
Laerod
07-08-2005, 12:50
my french is even worse :D
the only two languages I'm fluent in are Dutch and EnglishYou speak Dutch and your German isn't good enough to read Fantasy novels? :rolleyes:
Ancient Valyria
07-08-2005, 12:51
You speak Dutch and your German isn't good enough to read Fantasy novels? :rolleyes:
yes
Laerod
07-08-2005, 12:54
yesI speak German and English fluently and I only really have trouble understanding spoken Dutch. Reading is pretty simple... :D
Amestria
07-08-2005, 13:07
Laughing to Death after reading the funniest joke in the world.

Brain explodes from watching FOX news.

Being crushed by a falling safe.

Falling to your death in a vain attempt to prove that gravity is "just a theory"
E Blackadder
07-08-2005, 13:11
I mean things like zepplin crashes. who has a zepplin?

I will...one day!
Bolol
07-08-2005, 13:18
Well I have two stories for you, both of which occured at Anime Boston.

Two years ago, a spiteful comic-book fan with no class, no shame and no brains decided to crash our humble get-together dressed up as Spiderman.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Anime Convention etiquete; you don't dress up as an American character, then go around insulting fans and creators.

Needless to say, he was damn near obliterated. He was attacked by a Squirtle, a Charmander and a Pikachu with a machete. It took the intervention of Vash the Stampede to prevent his demise. He was then promptly booted out, and we bought drinks for the disgruntled Pokemon.

----------------------

The second incident involved Fangirls...I'm not sure you wanna hear this...but...You must understand, most of us Convention-Goers are just fans. But I will admit, some of us are...insane, really. Someone was dressed up as Alucard from "Hellsing". It was a VERY good outfit, extremely detailed. Unfortunately, he drew the attention of three or four fangirls.

For those of you who don't know, fangirls are RABID and PSYCHOTIC, and you CANNOT remove them by conventional means.

Poor Alucard was mobbed...Whether these girls were just having fun, drunk, or really thought he was a vampire (3 out of the 4 were "goth")...that poor bastard will never the same. No one ever is after you've been GLOMP'D by fangirls...

---------------------

I think THOSE are relatively unlikely scenarios...that really did almost result in death.
Markreich
07-08-2005, 13:34
When I was at the University of Connecticut (1991-1995), one of my fellow students fell into a deep depression. He went to the graveyard in the middle of winter, took of his coat, laid down in the snow and died of cold and exposure.

The cemetary is on North Eagleville road, one of the three major roads. Although it's a quiet space, he was less than 200 yards from several buildings, and less than half a mile from the infirmary.

He was not found for over a day.
The Noble Men
07-08-2005, 13:37
I will...one day!

Same here. Complete with big bastard speakers that play "Ride of the Valkyries".
Markreich
07-08-2005, 13:39
I mean things like zepplin crashes. who has a zepplin?

I will...one day!

And one day... you may... :)
http://www.ciderpresspottery.com/ZLA/future/NT7.html
Aracale
07-08-2005, 13:46
anneurism during sex and before the orgasm... you know.. just for it to suck that much more lol