NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, this is half joke thread and half serious question.

I'm a straight guy, and I might just be repeating an untrue stereotype, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Please don't get offended, I don't know any gay men personally and am judging from the out gays that I see on occasion and from TV and movies.

Gay guys are typically pictured as dressing very neatly and with a touch of individual flair. Me and all my straight friends dress for comfort. We can pull off neat when we need to, but usually it's jeans and T-shirts. Gay guys are also reputed to have lively, sophisticated and expressive personalities. Me and my friends are more crude and quiet.

Question 1- Is the above just a stereotype of gay men, or does it usually hold true?

Question 2- Could it be that the genes that cause gayness also make one "fabulous"?

Actually, I don't refer to that as "fabulous," I refer to it as "upkeep."

It's common in gay men as well as women, but in both cases, not even close to true all of the time. It's probably true for a higher percentage of gay men than it is for females. But at the same rate, there's this "metrosexual" word for guys who like women, but are "fabulous" as you would say.

Personally, I dress for comfort, but make sure I don't look like a slob.

A lot of times stereotypes are firmly grounded in fact. This appears to be one of those cases. Ive known gays that were slobs, but they are the exception, not the rule.

As for the second part of your question, I seriously doubt it's anything genetic. Fashion is a social construct and has little to do with genetics. Its more likely that it's simply a cultural thing. Gay culture places a certain emphasis on style, looks, fashion, etc. that straight culture typically relegates to women.

I know plenty of gay guys who dress for comfort. I am also a bisexual who dresses for comfort. I actually know more straight people who dress for appearance than I do gay people.

A lot of times stereotypes are firmly grounded in fact. This appears to be one of those cases. Ive known gays that were slobs, but they are the exception, not the rule.
As a gay guy I have to agree. I also have to admit I am a classless and crude slob.

I have a friend who after 10 or so years of marriage realised he was gay. The odd thing was no one was suprised. People who met him before his marriage break up all assumed he was gay cos "he acted that way".
from this I learned:-

Sometimes you're only fooling yourself and sexuality is not black and white (for which read staright and gay for you literalists)

gay casual clothes wearer - nothing I own could ever be termed fabulous

I unfortunately declined to recive the complimentary leather pants and feather boa when signing up to be gay
-meh

In seriousness I think in general the clinging to the superficial, fashion-smart, queeny "fabulous" stereotype is something gay men learn, it usually happens in the months after their coming out, and I believe it's an excessive backlash to not being allowed engage in activities that were outside their gender roles when they were younger.

Me I wanted to learn to dance at one point, at another point I wanted to learn to sew (cause in my primary school the girls got to sew and the boys had to play football - however my mother kicked up a stink cause my sisters wanted to play football, so everyone had to play football from then on :(). However I was reasonably ok with my gender roles by the time I came to college (i grew my hair long in spite of people mistaking me for a girl and I never proclaimed interest in the half a dozen sports boys in my school claimed to like), so I looked on in horror as new gay friends of mine in college turned from shy casually dressed guys to scene queens in tank tops greeting each other with air kisses only in a few months.

Overly "fabulous" gay guys are the ones who step out of the closet and into another one - Judy Garland's :D

They over-indulge their "feminine" side to the expense of their "masculine" and gender neutral activities

Damn you gay scene!! and Damn you heteronormative mainstream society!!!
Seriously though, the more well adjusted the society is, the less "gender roles" there'll be and thus less fabulosity (thank god!)

I'm a straight guy, and I might just be repeating an untrue stereotype, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Please don't get offended, I don't know any gay men personally and am judging from the out gays that I see on occasion and from TV and movies.You do know gay guys personally, but they dress like you, act like you, and are not out (at least to you). There are so many homosexuals in the population that it is impossible that you would not know a few. The guys who you know to be gay are the ones who dress well and act a little flamboyantly. All the gay guys I know (and some are out only to me) dress like any other guy.

It's just a stereotype in our culture. If gay guys dress well, they are most likely emulating gay men they admire.

You do know gay guys personally, but they dress like you, act like you, and are not out (at least to you). There are so many homosexuals in the population that it is impossible that you would not know a few. The guys who you know to be gay are the ones who dress well and act a little flamboyantly. All the gay guys I know (and some are out only to me) dress like any other guy.

It's just a stereotype in our culture. If gay guys dress well, they are most likely emulating gay men they admire.
I suppose it's possible.

As a gay guy I have to agree. I also have to admit I am a classless and crude slob.
lol, same here. Though I can flip a switch, have my fashion sense kick in, and I can clean myself up incredibly well. Though I'll be damned if my room ever stays clean for more than a month or two at the very, very most.

I have a friend who after 10 or so years of marriage realised he was gay. The odd thing was no one was suprised. People who met him before his marriage break up all assumed he was gay cos "he acted that way".
from this I learned:-

Sometimes you're only fooling yourself and sexuality is not black and white (for which read staright and gay for you literalists)


How did you learn the second part? It sounds to me like you learned that stereotypes are true and that sexuality IS black and white, but that sometimes people think they are black when they are actually white.

I think being fabulous is a way to fight oppression and the feeling of sadness and isolation.

I'm not gay - and I enjoy being 'fabulous'

I think being fabulous is a way to fight oppression and the feeling of sadness and isolation.
Hmm, I don't know. Gays who live in gay enclaves seem anecdotally more likely to dress and act "gay". I think it's more influence and culture. Also, add in the fact that gay men tend to identify more with their mothers and other women, and thus adopt "feminine" attitudes towards appearance.

Hmm, I don't know. Gays who live in gay enclaves seem anecdotally more likely to dress and act "gay". I think it's more influence and culture. Also, add in the fact that gay men tend to identify more with their mothers and other women, and thus adopt "feminine" attitudes towards appearance.


that has something to do with it..

but you know how gay people always like to make things fabulous, like inviting all the celeberties and dressing up for AIDS event? Depression is boring and being fab is just another way to spice up yourself and the people around you. I think sadness and isolation has something to do with being fab. Its a response that is later adopted as a lifestyle.

Gay men can do everything.

FACT.

Ok, this is half joke thread and half serious question.

I'm a straight guy, and I might just be repeating an untrue stereotype, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Please don't get offended, I don't know any gay men personally and am judging from the out gays that I see on occasion and from TV and movies.

Gay guys are typically pictured as dressing very neatly and with a touch of individual flair. Me and all my straight friends dress for comfort. We can pull off neat when we need to, but usually it's jeans and T-shirts. Gay guys are also reputed to have lively, sophisticated and expressive personalities. Me and my friends are more crude and quiet.

Question 1- Is the above just a stereotype of gay men, or does it usually hold true?

Question 2- Could it be that the genes that cause gayness also make one "fabulous"?

(1) It's a stereotype, embraced by gay men. Basically all portrayal of the groups in western culture we laughing term as "minorities" go through certain stages, firstly you have the "threat to our civilized way of life" portrayal - say for black people "birth of a nation", the character of Fagin and the like for Jews. Then you have the "noble savage" portrayal, which either colours them cuddly or noble - "Uncle Tom", most Sidney Poitier movies of the 60s, "A Gentlemans Agreement" for Jews etc. Then you have the "exploitation" stage, where certain assigned stereo or archetypes get taken to a ludicrous extreme - Blaxploitation, Certain of Woody Allens earlier movies. Then - if you are LUCKY - mass culture starts portraying the group in question in a realistic way. Only problem, of course, is whilst these portrayals are going on, the minority group in question is consuming them along with the majority group, and may become complicit in their own portrayal as such - for instance, it's been very difficult for black people to move on from their portrayal as pimps and ho's because a large subsection of their artistic community - gangsta rappers etc - have bought into the mythology. I do worry this is happening in the whole "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" phenomenon.
(2) see (1)

I'm not gay - and I enjoy being 'fabulous'
Same here. I sometimes meet people and they think i might be gay,but i know im just so sexy i turn them on and it scares them
wishfull thinging on their part

Question 1- Is the above just a stereotype of gay men, or does it usually hold true?

Question 2- Could it be that the genes that cause gayness also make one "fabulous"?
Well I do know gay men, and maybe you do too!

Q1: it's a sterotype. some gays are like this, but most are not.

Q2: yarm... i don't know

Ok, this is half joke thread and half serious question.

I'm a straight guy, and I might just be repeating an untrue stereotype, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Please don't get offended, I don't know any gay men personally and am judging from the out gays that I see on occasion and from TV and movies.

Gay guys are typically pictured as dressing very neatly and with a touch of individual flair. Me and all my straight friends dress for comfort. We can pull off neat when we need to, but usually it's jeans and T-shirts. Gay guys are also reputed to have lively, sophisticated and expressive personalities. Me and my friends are more crude and quiet.

Question 1- Is the above just a stereotype of gay men, or does it usually hold true?

Question 2- Could it be that the genes that cause gayness also make one "fabulous"?
Only a certain segment of the gay population does. I once heard a statistic (can't verify it though, it was some time ago) that most cross-dressers are heterosexual. I also dress for comfort, but I try to look good at the same time. And I see nothing effeminate about knowing a little about fashion (as long as it is the fashion of your own sex and you don't know too much about it).
As for the gay gene, I don't believe in it. You could probably be born something, but at the same time not necessarily have a gene for it.
And as for what you said before the questions, I don't think a lively expressive, sophisticated personality is a neccessarily gay thing. I have straight friends who are that way.

I dress in whatever the hell is cheapest, other gays/bis I know don't do the same.

I've met plenty of unfabulous, unexceptional gay men. Honestly, they're usually pretty boring unless they're clubbing, in general.

You get dressed up when you go out to a bar or club, right?
You get a bit more "lively" when you're drinking, right?

Or maybe the gay population is seperate from the gay culture. The gay culture is something you choose to participate in. Gay culture typically embraces so-called stereotypes because it owns them.
Most gay men do not listen to showtunes or go cruising for fucking twinks.
There's nothing wrong with that, but those steretypes have nothing to do with their personalities or genetics, it's a cultural influence, and one in which they choose to participate. Some straight guys choose to participate in some aspects of that culture, and have been labeled as "metrosexuals".

If this confuses you, get to know more gay men and lesbians.

Ok, this is half joke thread and half serious question.

I'm a straight guy, and I might just be repeating an untrue stereotype, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Please don't get offended, I don't know any gay men personally and am judging from the out gays that I see on occasion and from TV and movies.

Gay guys are typically pictured as dressing very neatly and with a touch of individual flair. Me and all my straight friends dress for comfort. We can pull off neat when we need to, but usually it's jeans and T-shirts. Gay guys are also reputed to have lively, sophisticated and expressive personalities. Me and my friends are more crude and quiet.

Question 1- Is the above just a stereotype of gay men, or does it usually hold true?

Question 2- Could it be that the genes that cause gayness also make one "fabulous"?

I'll confirm that I completely fall into those stereotypes. I don't think it is genes. I was gay before I developed a better sense of dress, and before I was outgoing. It takes personal effort to keep oneself clean and more effort to make myself more vibrant. I'm not offended at all. In fact I'm often associated with the character of Carson and the looks of Jai.. from Queer Eye For the Straight Guy.

"The gay culture is something you choose to participate in. Gay culture typically embraces so-called stereotypes because it owns them. "

That's true.

If gay men are neater and better looking than straight men, it is because gay men have to be. Gay men are still men and place emphasis on physical attractiveness, and hence know what standard they have to live up to to be seen as desirable by other men.

If straight women were as focused on looks as men tend to be, straight men would be at least as neat and "fabulous" as gay men, if not more, since competition would be even harder.

pretty much the only way you can get a gay character on prime time television in america without scaring the families off of the more conservative folk in this country (not to stereotype, but i guess i'm going to be stereotyping), is to make said character as flamboyant and over the top as humanly possible. few and far between are the "regular guy" gay men, regardless of the reality of the situation. my father is a homosexual. neither he nor his boyfriend are particularly over the top. on a related note, i to tend to believe that when you do see a gay man in the real world acting particularly fey, it is most likely a social response, based on the belief that the only way for him to be accepted as a gay man is to be EXTRA gay.

If gay men are neater and better looking than straight men, it is because gay men have to be. Gay men are still men and place emphasis on physical attractiveness, and hence know what standard they have to live up to to be seen as desirable by other men.

If straight women were as focused on looks as men tend to be, straight men would be at least as neat and "fabulous" as gay men, if not more, since competition would be even harder.
I'd agree with that. Just because they're gay, doesn't mean they're not still very male.

it is most likely a social response, based on the belief that the only way for him to be accepted as a gay man is to be EXTRA gay.

Eh, I'm this way because i wanted to be... I didn't really care about whether they accept me or not.

Eh, I'm this way because i wanted to be... I didn't really care about whether they accept me or not.
i realize that, just postulating. pay me no mind.