NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, for the billionth time during the summer, I spent all day at home, playing games that I didnt really want to play, because I had nothing better to do. The friends I hang out with most(who, honestly, are boring and not very outgoing), are at one of their friends birthday parties(a guy who I'm not great friends with).

And Im sitting here, bored out of my mind. And Im just thinking about things. I barely have any good friends. I know alot of people on a first-name basis, mostly from school, but I dont consider these people friends. Most of us rarely talk, especially outside of school.

I guess I started this thread to rant, but I dont have much to rant about. I just feel like Im really bad talking with other people, and interacting with others. I can barely talk to someone for more than six sentences, online, without running out of things to talk about. Probably because I have nothing to talk about. I have to do things, to be able to talk about them.

I dunno. Even when I want to hang out with someone, I never know what to do with them. Im on a very limited budget, and I dont really have transportation(my bike doesnt count). Even when I am hanging out with people, I always feel like i'm the odd person in the group, and I only latch on to other peoples conversations.

I dont really know what Im asking. I know the best way to fix my problem is to go hang out with people and such, but I just cant seem to do it. I dont get invited to parties, and don't really have a way of getting invited. Im not really a part of any "Groups" or anything. I just feel like I'm trapped in a bad position.

You just described my life! :eek:
Now I’m creeped out...

Dude, are you me?! :eek:

If so, read my thread "I'm not gay. kinda sad really" for ideas on how to spice up your life!

Things will get better for you soon. When are you off for training?

Well, for the billionth time during the summer, I spent all day at home, playing games that I didnt really want to play, because I had nothing better to do. The friends I hang out with most(who, honestly, are boring and not very outgoing), are at one of their friends birthday parties(a guy who I'm not great friends with).

And Im sitting here, bored out of my mind. And Im just thinking about things. I barely have any good friends. I know alot of people on a first-name basis, mostly from school, but I dont consider these people friends. Most of us rarely talk, especially outside of school.

I guess I started this thread to rant, but I dont have much to rant about. I just feel like Im really bad talking with other people, and interacting with others. I can barely talk to someone for more than six sentences, online, without running out of things to talk about. Probably because I have nothing to talk about. I have to do things, to be able to talk about them.

I dunno. Even when I want to hang out with someone, I never know what to do with them. Im on a very limited budget, and I dont really have transportation(my bike doesnt count). Even when I am hanging out with people, I always feel like i'm the odd person in the group, and I only latch on to other peoples conversations.

I dont really know what Im asking. I know the best way to fix my problem is to go hang out with people and such, but I just cant seem to do it. I dont get invited to parties, and don't really have a way of getting invited. Im not really a part of any "Groups" or anything. I just feel like I'm trapped in a bad position.
You sound much like I was at your age. What you need to do is take a fairly radical step to shake your life up. What that could be is pretty much up to you. Sometimes it has to be something pretty rad. If you like, I can try to think up some suggestions. :)

You described my life as well! It's been improving slightly though. I came late to my school, and fit in enough to be accepted, but I never got in quite right, probably because I lived so far from everyone.

When I'm bored like this I tend to play political simulation games and fantasize and strategize about my rise to President of the United States.

University > Law School > Mayor > Republican Candidate for HoR > Gain Experience > Republican Candidate for Senate or Governor > Gain Experience > Become seasoned and stable > Get in with the wrong crowd at the top of the party > Become Presidential Candidate

If only it were that easy.

Road to President:

Do medicore in school>Go to Yale>Do medicore at Yale>Fail in bussiness>Become CEO of Oil Company>Fail at that>Fall into Governorship>Run for President>Fail to win election...

And voila! There you are! POTUS!

Are there any groups or socities that you could join? Just so you could meet more ppl? I know exactly how you feel. I went thro the same thing at school for a few years. I had friends, but no really good ones. It didn't stop until I was about 16/17 when I made fantastic friends, by getting involved in things. Out of my 3 best friends I am still best buds with 2 of them...the other well...but 2/3 ain't bad!

It will get better. Your not alone in feeling the way that you do.

oh my god i feel exactly the same way..


ITS LIKE...HOW COME I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESNT HAVE A LIFE?

but at the same time..I DONT WANT TO GET A "LIFE"

i feel like an unwanted freak, on top of that.

Oooh i hate life. :(

Funny ive heard this before.....

Sounds like me too. Except I have something fun to do today involving tongues, a boyfriend and a movie theatre.

Get a hobby involving other people. Get a job. Pick up some sport that has clubs you can get engaged in, and so on.

Great ways to meet people.

HAH!

All of you in your teens who are saying this....

It doesnt go away till about 30 or so, if at all.

Welcome to life!

MUHUHAHAHAHAH!!!

Chellis - with nearly 6,000 posts under your belt on this forum - I hardly think you have nothing to say online ^^

Well, for the billionth time during the summer, I spent all day at home, playing games that I didnt really want to play, because I had nothing better to do. The friends I hang out with most(who, honestly, are boring and not very outgoing), are at one of their friends birthday parties(a guy who I'm not great friends with).

And Im sitting here, bored out of my mind. And Im just thinking about things. I barely have any good friends. I know alot of people on a first-name basis, mostly from school, but I dont consider these people friends. Most of us rarely talk, especially outside of school.

I guess I started this thread to rant, but I dont have much to rant about. I just feel like Im really bad talking with other people, and interacting with others. I can barely talk to someone for more than six sentences, online, without running out of things to talk about. Probably because I have nothing to talk about. I have to do things, to be able to talk about them.

I dunno. Even when I want to hang out with someone, I never know what to do with them. Im on a very limited budget, and I dont really have transportation(my bike doesnt count). Even when I am hanging out with people, I always feel like i'm the odd person in the group, and I only latch on to other peoples conversations.

I dont really know what Im asking. I know the best way to fix my problem is to go hang out with people and such, but I just cant seem to do it. I dont get invited to parties, and don't really have a way of getting invited. Im not really a part of any "Groups" or anything. I just feel like I'm trapped in a bad position.
... and me (to add to the list of your clones)

i mean it - exactly the same here... except most of my friends are not staying in this town over summer, meaning i'm on my own whether i like it or not.

i won't go into a ranting moan agreeing with you about how much it sucks, but instead tell you about a possible cure that almost worked for me:
i went away with a friend to holland for a week, and then stayed at his place for another week and another friend joined us (to record some music). we would also go round his girlfriend's place every evening and hang out with her and her family. so for the first week i was forced to be in the company of 1 person all the time (no escape!), and the second week i was constantly around at least 2 other people, and at least 5 in the evenings. this continuous forced contact with others somehow helped me remember how to relate to them, remember what i used to be like and remember how to talk to others normally. ok, i was on a lot of drugs the whole time, but thats beside the point. i came back from all this refreshed, reinvigorated, with a new-found confidence, and able to relate to others again. like you said in your OP, "I know the best way to fix my problem is to go hang out with people and such", so forcibly hanging out with others all the time is what helped me.
i said almost because while it helped me i have reverted back somewhat to my old self...

now to the whining. before uni i used to be pretty normal in this respect - i could talk to people, look them in the eyes, not be uber-nervous around everybody (obviously around some people, like the babes :S ), and generally had an enjoyable social life. however while at uni something happened. i don't know what but by the time i got to halfway through this second year i had lost contact will any friends i made in the first year, and had made no new ones; i couldn't talk to and resented the other people on my course, and got so nervous around even people i knew i couldn't possibly look them in the eyes or speak more than a few words to them before i had to run off and be alone. at my worst i hated the outside world and didn't leave my room for weeks (apart from kitchen and bog), and would feel like people were laughing or looking at me as i walked down the street. this is where you could end up... so do something about it now!
thankfully i'm better now, though my life is still as dull - so just like you i can still only say like 5 lines on msn before i run out of stuff :p

anyways that was long but hopefully useful in some way

I kinda relate to what you mean myself. A lot of my time is spent on the computer drowning my senses in Rock, Metal & Blues music...Iron Maiden rock, but that's besides the point.

What I personally do is try to keep busy with my friends - I've resolved always to go out at least one night a week, whether that's into Town or up the local Pub, whatever. I'm pretty much always hanging around at someone's house or talking to them on Messenger.

I suppose I'm a little luckier in two senses; firstly, I have an 'elite' group of friends, a small circle of really close mates who I've know for several years (two of them for over a decade, one of which I've known since I was 2 and the other since I was 5 - we're all 18 now.) I know other people as well, of course, but there not as close as these other guys 'n gals. Secondly, a lot of my mates are as lazy as myself and don't do a lot either - only one or two of them are away for short times over this Summer holiday.

Regarding latching onto people's conversations, I know what you mean there; I always seem to feel that I'm a bit of a loose wheel in our conversations compared to the craziness of some of my friends (there was this time involving licking someone's eyeballs...but that's another story), but that's really because I'm not usually a talkative person when in a large group. When just talking with one of my close mates, I can easily rant on about most stuff - otherwise, they really don't mind just lying around and doing nothing, listening to music or whatever. The important point is that they understand me, which allows me to just hang around with them really easily. I mostly find it hardest to converse with people I don't know very well, although it gets easier the longer I know them. I kinda gave up trying to impress people a while back - I'm just 'me' now; a Rock music fanatic that loves Sci-Fi - anyone who doesn't like that can just shove it up a certain back passage with a large spade.

My two pence would be to forget your concerns about large 'groups' and being a part of them - rather, just find your own interests and the people you meet as a result will be the people you'll probably relate to.

Sorry, that kinda turned into a rant as well, so it probably wasn't any use. :)

It should go away if you go to college. If you're to young for that, get a job, if you're to young for that, well you're screwed, sorry. :(

I was going to suggest that Chellis get a job, but Fass said that already.

now to the whining. before uni i used to be pretty normal in this respect - i could talk to people, look them in the eyes, not be uber-nervous around everybody (obviously around some people, like the babes :S ), and generally had an enjoyable social life. however while at uni something happened. i don't know what but by the time i got to halfway through this second year i had lost contact will any friends i made in the first year, and had made no new ones; i couldn't talk to and resented the other people on my course, and got so nervous around even people i knew i couldn't possibly look them in the eyes or speak more than a few words to them before i had to run off and be alone. at my worst i hated the outside world and didn't leave my room for weeks (apart from kitchen and bog), and would feel like people were laughing or looking at me as i walked down the street. this is where you could end up... so do something about it now!
thankfully i'm better now, though my life is still as dull - so just like you i can still only say like 5 lines on msn before i run out of stuff :p

anyways that was long but hopefully useful in some wayHave you looked into whether or not this is a chemical imbalance? Not that I'm calling you schizophrenic, but Van Gogh became schizophrenic at around the age of 19. Your brain chemicals change around then, and you could develop some type of disorder.

heh. well hello me! ive felt that way too Chellis.. but with me it was that all my friends lived a few miles away from me in the town while i live in the suburbs.. theres been nothing to do here (only about 250- people here) and i know none of them.. others here have quads and go over to the breaker riding (parents wouldnt get me 1 :( ) sooo i got verrrrrrrrry bored (heh) im stoner now :o but you dont go doing that.. i also stared going on mIRC and i have new good friends i talk to every day its fun and wastes time and what not.. *whispers "viva la undernet!"*

I was going to suggest that Chellis get a job, but Fass said that already.

Have you looked into whether or not this is a chemical imbalance? Not that I'm calling you schizophrenic, but Van Gogh became schizophrenic at around the age of 19. Your brain chemicals change around then, and you could develop some type of disorder.
it is a possibility... lol jekyll & hyde style :p
getting professional help might be an idea, but in the meantime i'm doing an ok job getting back to normal - if slowly, thanks :)

My advice: it's time to start drinking. Become the crazy guy at the parties who takes off his clothes and does a cannonball into the pool. Lose your virginity to an overweight girl with a lisp. Get into a couple of fights. Best summer of your life.

My advice: it's time to start drinking. Become the crazy guy at the parties who takes off his clothes and does a cannonball into the pool. Lose your virginity to an overweight girl with a lisp. Get into a couple of fights. Best summer of your life.

Like I said, I dont go to parties.

Anyways, to others...

I've tried to get a job, but nobody wants me. Maybe I can use my recruiter as a reference, to bring me from 0 references to 1.

There arent really any good clubs at my school... Im in french club, but that doesnt lead anywhere, except some really good dinners at the end of the schoolyear.

Im not really good with sports. And even if I wanted to get into sports, Im going to be a senior next year... I dont want to be stuck with the freshman and sophomores...

Aligned planets, unless I want to talk to people about the benefits of an altruism based economy, or the possible reprocussions of north korea having nuclear weapons, I dont have much to talk about.

And the fact that lots of people feel the same way... just makes it worse, heh...

Oh - I'll talk to you about the ramifications of N. Korea and nuclear weapons, and the lead-up to WW3 for absolutely ages!

Chellis - I've always found your NS posts to be insightful and interesting! I don't know ya - but ya seem like an ok person from what I've read :)

Oh - I'll talk to you about the ramifications of N. Korea and nuclear weapons, and the lead-up to WW3 for absolutely ages!

Chellis - I've always found your NS posts to be insightful and interesting! I don't know ya - but ya seem like an ok person from what I've read :)

Too bad cute juniors at my school dont feel the same way as you do :P

And thank you. I try to be.

bump

Join the club. Though unlike you I enjoy it. People bug me. So does the sun.

:D :sniper:

I think pretty much everyone experiences this at one point or another Chellis.

It should go away if you go to college. If you're to young for that, get a job, if you're to young for that, well you're screwed, sorry. :(

Bit of a downer here - neither are guaranteed to help. There's no guarantee that you'll make friends with or like everyone at your job...in my situation, most of the people I work with are women in their 40's, or girls who have just turned 16. At university/college, i'm the odd one out again, as most people in my course are in their mid 20's...I'm 19. My friends at university are mostly those that were already my good friends from high school.

The best friends you will ever make, the people you will get along with most, are those that come randomly without looking for them. Just be yourself...do the things you like, and go out occasionally. Go and see a local band by yourself (or something else you'll enjoy...what are your interests?) if you don't have anyone to go with...just have fun and don't care about what other people think of you. You'll meet people. Just be open to conversation.

EDIT- And not being invited to parties usually isn't an issue. Go with a friend that was invited (Or get them to ask if you can come). That's what most people do, and nobody cares.

EDIT- And not being invited to parties usually isn't an issue. Go with a friend that was invited (Or get them to ask if you can come). That's what most people do, and nobody cares.

Most of my friends* dont really go to parties either.

*This doesnt count for one group of highly popular friends, one of which Im good friends with... but its always kinda wierd hanging with them, because I really do feel like the odd one in the group.

Something else to consider. Never discount someone as a possible friend based on their age, the way they dress/how they look, or any other trival factor. I felt the same as you do relating to my peers in school. So in my senior year I got fed up, and I bypassed them all together. So I started hanging out with some *gasp* sophmores and freshmen. And outside of school I started hanging out with people in their 20's through 40's. This greatly increases the odds of finding people you can genuinely relate to. Screw the social hierachy if isn't working for you. If your "caste" isn't doing it for you, look elsewhere. There's no point in conforming to their expectations of who you should and shouldn't be socializing with. Broaden your horizons! :cool:

Well, I definately cant relate to any of you...

It all seems a bit loneresk, something I wouldn't be able to handle, I hate being on my own!

It might be what I was like about 3 years ago... I can only give you one piece of advice, which is get out, if you don't like going to parties, make yourself.

I don't know how you cant talk on msn... Its the friggin easiest thing in the world to be funny on, OR do what I do, whenever you run out of things to say, do lots of random emoticons, and if your friends are anything like mine it'll be funny, only to girls though. It doesn't work with lads. Another way to start convos is to do interesting things in your life... things you can talk about with people.

Well, I definately cant relate to any of you...

It all seems a bit loneresk, something I wouldn't be able to handle, I hate being on my own!

It might be what I was like about 3 years ago... I can only give you one piece of advice, which is get out, if you don't like going to parties, make yourself.

I don't know how you cant talk on msn... Its the friggin easiest thing in the world to be funny on, OR do what I do, whenever you run out of things to say, do lots of random emoticons, and if your friends are anything like mine it'll be funny, only to girls though. It doesn't work with lads. Another way to start convos is to do interesting things in your life... things you can talk about with people.

I cant get those interesting things in my life started, however.

Well, for the billionth time during the summer, I spent all day at home, playing games that I didnt really want to play, because I had nothing better to do. The friends I hang out with most(who, honestly, are boring and not very outgoing), are at one of their friends birthday parties(a guy who I'm not great friends with).

And Im sitting here, bored out of my mind. And Im just thinking about things. I barely have any good friends. I know alot of people on a first-name basis, mostly from school, but I dont consider these people friends. Most of us rarely talk, especially outside of school.

I guess I started this thread to rant, but I dont have much to rant about. I just feel like Im really bad talking with other people, and interacting with others. I can barely talk to someone for more than six sentences, online, without running out of things to talk about. Probably because I have nothing to talk about. I have to do things, to be able to talk about them.

I dunno. Even when I want to hang out with someone, I never know what to do with them. Im on a very limited budget, and I dont really have transportation(my bike doesnt count). Even when I am hanging out with people, I always feel like i'm the odd person in the group, and I only latch on to other peoples conversations.

I dont really know what Im asking. I know the best way to fix my problem is to go hang out with people and such, but I just cant seem to do it. I dont get invited to parties, and don't really have a way of getting invited. Im not really a part of any "Groups" or anything. I just feel like I'm trapped in a bad position.

Dude, If you want to rant get a blog to do it in, you can do it every day then.

All of you in your teens who are saying this....
It doesnt go away till about 30 or so, if at all.
Welcome to life!

Not just that, later in life, youll look at these times and want to go back. life is a hole, your not born, you fall in.

I dont really know what Im asking. I know the best way to fix my problem is to go hang out with people and such, but I just cant seem to do it. I dont get invited to parties, and don't really have a way of getting invited. Im not really a part of any "Groups" or anything. I just feel like I'm trapped in a bad position.You know, the only real difference between your life and mine is that I've lost interest in playing games and have taken to sleeping instead...

Dude, If you want to rant get a blog to do it in, you can do it every day then.

I dont really want to rant every day. I just wanted to get this off my chest.

If youhave the cash then take up wargaming or RPGing. Great way to meet people and you get to kick a bit of ass. Just don't play Games Workshop games if byou can avoid it. I'd reccomend Warmachine (www.privateerpress.com).

Well, for the billionth time during the summer, I spent all day at home, playing games that I didnt really want to play, because I had nothing better to do. The friends I hang out with most(who, honestly, are boring and not very outgoing), are at one of their friends birthday parties(a guy who I'm not great friends with).

And Im sitting here, bored out of my mind. And Im just thinking about things. I barely have any good friends. I know alot of people on a first-name basis, mostly from school, but I dont consider these people friends. Most of us rarely talk, especially outside of school.

I guess I started this thread to rant, but I dont have much to rant about. I just feel like Im really bad talking with other people, and interacting with others. I can barely talk to someone for more than six sentences, online, without running out of things to talk about. Probably because I have nothing to talk about. I have to do things, to be able to talk about them.

I dunno. Even when I want to hang out with someone, I never know what to do with them. Im on a very limited budget, and I dont really have transportation(my bike doesnt count). Even when I am hanging out with people, I always feel like i'm the odd person in the group, and I only latch on to other peoples conversations.

I dont really know what Im asking. I know the best way to fix my problem is to go hang out with people and such, but I just cant seem to do it. I dont get invited to parties, and don't really have a way of getting invited. Im not really a part of any "Groups" or anything. I just feel like I'm trapped in a bad position.

CRAAWWWLING IN MY SKIIIIIN......

But no seriously, I feel the same way you do.

If you enjoy music, take up an instrument, join or even start an local band with some friends. You'll be meeting up with friends, doing something you enjoy, that is if you do like music and would enjoy it.

Get either a Hobby, a Girlfriend, or New Friends.

You ARE me. Except that all my 'friends' are off on vacation... I'ver never even really been to a big party...

Well, for the billionth time during the summer, I spent all day at home, playing games that I didnt really want to play, because I had nothing better to do. The friends I hang out with most(who, honestly, are boring and not very outgoing), are at one of their friends birthday parties(a guy who I'm not great friends with).<snip> Im not really a part of any "Groups" or anything. I just feel like I'm trapped in a bad position.

Ok. Here's how to have some (delayed) fun at the expense of your Drill Seargeants by burning up a little time know. ('s what I did 20 years ago before Basic)

#1 take a 3' length of 1" black iron pipe, Load a backpack with 30lbs of whatever and go for a jog. Stop every 15 minutes to do 20 push ups and 20 sit ups. Repeat. Add weight as necessary. Use an Army Surplus backpack with frame and combat boots if possible. Do this until you can do it in your sleep or it's time to go to the MEPPS.

#2 Just before going to MEPPS, shave your head.

#3 When you get to Basic, play it like the game it is. You will be fit enough, so enjoy it. Nothing is more fun than watching a DS lose his cool because you won't lose yours.

There is much joy in watching their consternation and knowing they can't break you. :D

If you enjoy music, take up an instrument, join or even start an local band with some friends. You'll be meeting up with friends, doing something you enjoy, that is if you do like music and would enjoy it.

I cant play any instruments, but I do pretty well as a singer.

Get either a Hobby, a Girlfriend, or New Friends.

Tried all three, failed all three.

Tried all three, failed all three.
And what about my suggestion? A spare pair of boots and an extra Ruck (ALICE pack w/frame) are always useful....

And what about my suggestion? A spare pair of boots and an extra Ruck (ALICE pack w/frame) are always useful....

I have a year of mini-boot camp before I go to real boot camp. That will do me well.