NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/blackadder/epguide/images/four_goodbye.jpg

if you just got the orders that you were going to go 'over the top' (of the trenches in WW1/2), what would you do to get out of it? any particularly cunning plans? ;)


and if you're one of those nuts who's just going to post "i would be proud to go over the top for my country yadda yadda yadda", save it :rolleyes:

I would be proud to take the charge against the enemy for the good of the glorious German Empire! Heil Kaiser Wilhelm von Hohenzollern!

But seriously (or not?), I'd enlist as an engineer or go in to the artillery. None of that infantry suicide. But if I had to charge, I'd simply wait until everyone else climbed up, claiming my gun was jammed or I was deafened and temporarily blinded by artillery fire.

how about shooting yourself in the foot just before they blow the whistle? that'd work pretty good... or just slow you down and make you an easier target once you're up there :(

of course the old classic of pants on head and pencils up the nose, only saying "wibble", is always a good bet ;)
(any blackadder fans?)

Go to Canada, marry my Canadian girlfriend? Oh, wait, that's in the plans, anyways. Guess I'm safe. *grins* :p

Fancy feeling the wind in your hair?


:p

I'd sign up as a cook and work in some field kitchen... serving slop to the troops 2 miles behind the lines. And I wouldn't be just any kind of cook... I'm talking your stereotypical obese fat slob of a cook. I'd be so obese I couldn't get out of a trench if a train of horses was trying to pull me out. Oh, I'd talk big but I'd be so obviously useless that no-one would consider asking me to actually fire a rifle. :cool:

If I was actually in the infantry I'd make sure that I was in the middle of the pack or one of the last ones out. Then I'd act like I was hit and fall into a shell-hole like I was pole-axed as soon as I felt no-one was really paying attention to me.

With the foot shooting thing, I think if you shot yourself in the foot with a large caliber bullet, it would

a) Suck

and

b) Get you shot by your own side... I think they executed people who did that. :eek:

With the foot shooting thing, I think if you shot yourself in the foot with a large caliber bullet, it would

a) Suck

and

b) Get you shot by your own side... I think they executed people who did that.

As far as (a) goes, yes, it might suck somewhat, but considerably less than being a corpse hung upon the barbed wire of the Somme.

As far as (b) goes, nah, that's actually where the expression came from, before it changed meanings: the trick was to make it appear to be an accident.

I would pretend to pretend to be very vErY VERY VERY openly gay!!!!

I would pretend to pretend to be very vErY VERY VERY openly gay!!!!

That's very gay indeed! :eek:

I'm a chick, so I don't have to.

I just have to attend to the poor wounded sons of bitches who come back all bloodied and mangled!

I'm gay. Yay! That was easy.

I'm gay. Yay! That was easy.

Well, judging by the social climate of the early 1900's, I'd say you'd probably be sent out ASAP because of it. :(

You'd have had a better shot in the Gay Nineties, I'm afraid.

I would pretend to pretend to be very vErY VERY VERY openly gay!!!!

http://carcino.gen.nz/images/index.php/4745ed0f/29c03206

Id go over the top.

I'd go. So would most people here, for complex social and training reasons. You would go with your friends, that's what makes it work.

That's why we do 3-5 second 'buddy rushes' now. Your partner provides suppressive fire, while you do the "I'm up-he sees me- I'm down" routine, then provide cover for your buddy. So fuck that dumb 'platoon charge' crap. Idiocy. But, years of stagnant lines seem to have slowed imaginations.

That's why we do 3-5 second 'buddy rushes' now. Your partner provides suppressive fire, while you do the "I'm up-he sees me- I'm down" routine, then provide cover for your buddy. So fuck that dumb 'platoon charge' crap. Idiocy. But, years of stagnant lines seem to have slowed imaginations.
Yeah Platoons before that it was the Company charge and before that the Battalion March!

Yeah Platoons before that it was the Company charge and before that the Battalion March!

The tactical unit then was the platoon. Sure, attacks were carried out at the company, battallion, regiment, brigade, division and corps levels, but it was the platoon that was the principle manuever unit during those charges. Which is way it was a platoon charge, even though 100 platoons were going at the same time.

I'd go. So would most people here, for complex social and training reasons. You would go with your friends, that's what makes it work.
Exactly.

I'm Mennonite, and we're traditionally pacifist, so I guess I'd try saying I had religious reasons not to be in the trenches. I could probably at least get transferred into the medical corp. That's what my great-grandfather did when the Russian army drafted him during WW I. No atheists in the foxholes? No Mennonites either, and we're both happier for it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/blackadder/epguide/images/four_goodbye.jpg

if you just got the orders that you were going to go 'over the top' (of the trenches in WW1/2), what would you do to get out of it? any particularly cunning plans? ;)


and if you're one of those nuts who's just going to post "i would be proud to go over the top for my country yadda yadda yadda", save it :rolleyes:

I'd act liek I was a nutball and hope they would put me in a loony bin with all the good drukqs