NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.johnshakespeare.com.au/caricatures/images/arnie.gif (http://tubegator.com/ArnoldPranks.php3)

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2003/f_arnie_soundboard-p1.php?fromrelated=1

(Ebaum link replaced to placate mods...mmmkay) ;)

(Double crap - Albinoblacksheep is forbidden too...let me look some more. Damn censorship) :rolleyes:

(OK, I think I've finally found a link that isn't on the black list...)

My dad(dy) is a software consultant for the South Florida Water Management District in Palm Beach County, FL. He makes 125 an hour.

A third grade teacher was getting to know her pupils on the first day of school. She turned to one little girl and asked, "What does your Daddy do?"

The girl replied, "My Daddy's dead."

The teacher, flabberghasted, tries to rebound by asking "What did he do before he died?"

The girl replies, "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."

lol

I never knew my daddy cuz he left my mom soon after I was born. Although I hear he is a professional piece of crap now.

My dad(dy) is the head of the Finance department in a university.

I hope you're not expecting someone to say YOU'RE MY DADDY.

My Dads A House Painter

My dad's an undertaker. That's right. An undertaker.

Mine's dead. Previous to his current career, he was a doctor.

i love arnie: http://www.hlj.me.uk/NS/the%20best%20arnie%20ever.wav

http://www.hlj.me.uk/Copy%20of%20Arnie%202%20mp3.mp3

and, http://www.hlj.me.uk/ARnie%203%20mp3.mp3 :cool:




my daddy is a business consultant

lol

I never knew my daddy cuz he left my mom soon after I was born. Although I hear he is a professional piece of crap now.
Same here - he got a bit messed up in Vietnam...

My father was a mongoose and he was the weatherman at the local news station.

MY dad died about 30 years ago, of acute mylocitic leukemia, in Beaumont, Texas.

A 3bit loser that ran out on us awhile ago.

Don't know where he is and I don't care. He is nothing more then a stranger to me.

My dad went to a school where 3/4 of his classmates went to prison for various paramilitary offences, in one of the poorest areas of Northern Ireland. For his O level woodworking class they made a vigilante hut.

He's come from that, worked very, very hard, ran a furniture company, and now works as a manufacturers agent representing various countries from all over Europe in northern England, Scotland, and Northern Ireland, and makes a good salary..he drives a BMW 5 series and owned a £400,000 house.. He's done well for himself...a good example for his kids. A good example for anyone.

My father is manager of a branch and production site of a multinational company back at my home town.
And he is one of the biggest bastards alive. I haven't spoken to him in nearly 10 years now.

My dad's an architect contracted to Glasgow City Council to design and build new council housing.

My dad's dead. He died of a heart attack. Before that he was totally disabled due to a prior severe heart attack. Before that he was a factory worker and before that he was a mercenary in the Belgian Congo. Seriously.

My Dad is a quiet man and we've never really discussed anything deep before but I still love him. He's always been there when i've needed him and he's still my hero even though i'm 19 now. If I can be anything like him in my life i'll consider myself successful.

On the other hand he makes me work too damm hard :p but i suppose he pays well enough for the effort

My daddy was a miner and when the EVIL THATCHERITE GOVERNMENT closed all the mines, he worked in a number of jobs and is now a guide in a mining museum.

OH THE IRONY OF GLOBAL-NEO-LIBERALIST-CAPITALISM.

These are pretty funny:

http://www.killsometime.com/Audio/Arnold.asp

Mine was a horse jockey and now runs a receational stable in the Rockys.

I'm your daddy.

My daddy is dead, but before that he jointly owned a very small thermometer business with my mother. My mother still manages it. He died 14 years ago.

My father died 12 years ago of a sudden stroke at a mature age. He was an engineer, inventor, and professional photographer. He was a fiercely independent thinker, a very intelligent and good man.

He bore scars, both physical and mental, acquired in combat in WWII in Europe. He was severely wounded while leading an infantry company in France. I like to think that he would be proud of me and and my children as we are today.

My dad's dead, and right now he rots.

Dad was born to a 14 year old rape victem and adopted by moderately poor NE Texas parents. He overcame childhood polio withg no serious problems (only appartant effect was a full size difference between his left and right feet).

He was the first person in his family to attend university. He worked his way through and recieved a doctorate in physical chemistry.

He worked for the Y-12 national laboratory, where he designed nuclear warheads, as well as the "clean boxes" the Apollo missions used to bring back moon rocks. Later he worked for Dow Chemical.

Currently, he teaches part-time at UNMH, and also serves as a member of the local volunteer FD and SAR service.

IMHO, he is the very definition of a good father.

My parents got divorced when I was six, and he ran away from the whole 'you pay for your children you foo' thing when I was eight. Haven't seen him since. He does email me though, the bastard.

When I was young he was the manager of the Nestle branch in Hong Kong. Aparently now he's jobless but we all know he's lying. He would never go on the dole.. the proud bigot.

We also know, that while he talks to us about my grandfather, who's an old man, and how he's looking at him, he hasn't visited my grandfather in ages and my dad is currently living in Japan.

Oh God I hate him so much.

My dad when I was a kid was a Real Estate Developer. I grew up in the eighties, when the template for youth trend movie was that some evil Real Estate Developer was trying to shut down the community center (except Backdraft, where they were turning Fire Houses into Youth Centers...).

So I always imagined that my dad's day at work was rowdy city council meetings that ended in breakdancing or skateboarding and crappy synthesizer music.

Now I'm not really sure what he does, we don't talk much.

Who is your daddy?: My father.

What does he do?: General Electric executive.

And did I mention we're both conservative and hate the EPA? ;)

My father is a hamster.

My father works for the Department of Defense.

Self Employed. Agent for US,Australia and Canadian waste management companies that sell waste management products to most of South East Asia nations. Ie: Incinerators, water processing, others.

Our countries are among the worst polluters, just nobody find us out yet. :p Hence my dad's trying to help our nations go green.

My father is a hamster.


And your Mother smells of Elderberries!!!!

My Poppa was a rolling stone.

And your Mother smells of Elderberries!!!!

:D

Actually, my mother is a fish.

*waits to see if anyone will pick up on second random reference*

Mine works as an electrician of sorts, makes $24 an hour, seems to support us alright. He's quite the political opposite of me (he takes a hardline American conservative view while I take the liberal side), which leads to often heated and incredibly amusing debates. We don't talk politics much anymore...

My father is the most humble, unassuming man I have ever known.
He holds a Masters Degree but through a series of events only God can fathom, he is now a church custodian at the age of 74. Everyone loves him.

Actually, my mother is a fish.



Vardamon wanna cracker?

can't get the fish reference. dang.

My dad is the Head of the Finance and HR Departments of a company, the name and business of which I am not at liberty to disclose.

My dad is a digital imaging...guy, in san francisco. Makes six digits, and didnt go to college. Smoke and drinks, though(weed, that is).

My dad is an experimental physicist at one of Canada's national research laboratories. Quite interesting, really.

aaaaand now for my favorite daddy quote from William Shatner:

"When you're lyin' in bed at night,watching roaches climb the wall, if you called your dad he could stop it all."

Vardamon wanna cracker?

Well done! Two for two!

(Or three for three, if you count deciphering my nation-name.)

:D

My daddy is dead, but before that he jointly owned a very small thermometer business with my mother. My mother still manages it. He died 14 years ago.

So is that a business making thermometers for midgets or a thermometer business that was not very successful? :D

My dad is a psychologist... Director of Counseling for a small liberal arts college.

The pay is pretty shitty, considering he could have gone into private practice and probably done very well for himself... but he took it because it guaranteed a free college education for me and my brother.

I think he would have left for private practice years ago... we should both be out of college... but younger brother f'ed up and dropped out. Now he's "trying" to get back in, but he has to fight to get the tuition remission back. Dad's holding on hoping he can get in and finish. He has less than two semesters of work to go.

In any case, I really admire my dad.

My father used to be a consultant endocrinologist for the NHS. Now he is retired, works privately for about 10 hours a week, and I do his letter-typing, as a vastly superior typist to him. In return he assists me in deceiving my mother, who is paranoid and spiteful, and would, given the opportunity, more or less deny me the right to ever see my boyfriend.

A third grade teacher was getting to know her pupils on the first day of school. She turned to one little girl and asked, "What does your Daddy do?"

The girl replied, "My Daddy's dead."

The teacher, flabberghasted, tries to rebound by asking "What did he do before he died?"

The girl replies, "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
I heard that one before... don't try and beat me.... :gundge:

My Poppa was a rolling stone.
And when he died all he left you was alone?

my daddy was a chef and now he is a carpenter/tiler and has a property letting and management place with my uncle.

My dad is a meteorologist working at SMHI. (Sweden's Meteorological Hydrological Institute)

My daddy is a Chinese medicine practitioner. Cool, eh? :cool: The title is a bit mouthful...

My daddy is a Chinese medicine practitioner. Cool, eh? :cool: The title is a bit mouthful...
What, like traditional chinese medicine? Or is he a regular doctor working in China?

My dad is an experimental physicist at one of Canada's national research laboratories. Quite interesting, really.

aaaaand now for my favorite daddy quote from William Shatner:

"When you're lyin' in bed at night,watching roaches climb the wall, if you called your dad he could stop it all."

*Jarvis Cocker.

Although the Shatner version is amusing, the Pulp original knocks it's socks off.