Death for Masturbaters?
Neo Kervoskia
03-08-2005, 21:29
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(
:rolleyes: I guess that's what caused the floods back in Noah's time.
Callipygousness
03-08-2005, 21:36
Then God cries all the time someone has sex. Imagine all those sperm getting killed even in the woman's body.
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(
Just to be sure: You really think so? Do you RP?
Ugh...
My sperm don't care...'cause...shhh...it's a secret...they don't THINK!!!
Neo Kervoskia
03-08-2005, 21:43
:rolleyes: I guess that's what caused the floods back in Noah's time.
It very well may have.
The Mindset
03-08-2005, 21:46
Every time you ejaculate (including into a vagina) you kill millions of things that could create life! Preserve life! Don't procreate!
Achtung 45
03-08-2005, 21:49
:rolleyes: I guess that's what caused the floods back in Noah's time.
lol, there were huge masturbation parties that led to profuse crying by God.
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(That must be why it's raining so hard over here... damn! :p
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(
Life is created at the moment of conception, during which a unique genetic code is created.
Cali Gone East
03-08-2005, 21:51
Us women get off easy :p
Anyway, while we may be killing sperm while we masturbate, at least the little buggers get to die in a fantastic finish. I mean, don't they die all the time and get broken down to provide protein for the production of new sperm cells? Wouldn't that mean that they'd die even if we didn't ejaculate?
Kryozerkia
03-08-2005, 21:55
Then what about every period a woman has? Does that not mean murder as well? The egg has the potential to be life.
Ironically enough, a birth control pill prevents the overies from releasingthe egg, thus preventing the murder, and yet the Vatican is anti-birth control.... :rolleyes:
Think about it....
Mesatecala
03-08-2005, 21:56
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(
hahahahahahah...
I have a right to get off when I'm horny.. when i'm not with my boyfriend... not some religion is going to tell me otherwise.
A wise man once said "Christ is coming? Well so am I."
Jerk off. Slap yourself on the ass. Wear rubber boots and a storm trooper outfit.
Go wild. :)
-Pants
Neo Kervoskia
03-08-2005, 22:36
Anyway, while we may be killing sperm while we masturbate, at least the little buggers get to die in a fantastic finish. I mean, don't they die all the time and get broken down to provide protein for the production of new sperm cells? Wouldn't that mean that they'd die even if we didn't ejaculate?
Let them die naturally so that their spirits will not haunt this world.
Ashmoria
03-08-2005, 22:48
dont those sperm die no matter what? even if they are not "released"?
you guys should feel guilty CONSTANTLY
and all women should be on the pill unless they are trying to get pregnant. the pill supresses ovulation.
Orcadia Tertius
03-08-2005, 22:52
But none of you have managed to tackle this issue as well as Monty Python did.
Now, I'm off to find some mountains, hills and plains...
:D
Neo Kervoskia
03-08-2005, 23:07
But none of you have managed to tackle this issue as well as Monty Python did.
Now, I'm off to find some mountains, hills and plains...
:D
I knew that would be mentioned, hell, why not:
DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.
PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!
NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
Stalin has got nothing on me! W00t for genocide! :p
New Fubaria
03-08-2005, 23:53
I've shot entire civilisations into my gym sock!
...:p...
Lunatic Goofballs
04-08-2005, 01:50
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(
Not me. I save it all. I have it in my freezer. ANd the three storage freezers downstairs. It's almost time for a fourth. :D
Beer and Guns
04-08-2005, 01:53
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(
Not to mention all them hairy palms .
Pyro Kittens
04-08-2005, 08:10
Every single time you masturbate, you murder something that could be used to create life. Everytime you do it, you make God cry and cry. :(
Every time you kill God, a kitten masturbates...
Intangelon
04-08-2005, 08:25
...:p...
"This guy's balls-deep in that whore every night -- I haven't been laid in three years, it's NOT RIGHT! I got so much backed-up semen in me, the next time I come it's gonna be like a wax dart comin' outta my dick!"
-- Bill Hicks, Rant in E Minor