NationStates Jolt Archive

Just curious, as this seems to surface in so many of the sexuality debates. Do you find public dispalys of affection offensive or unsettling? Does it depend on whether the people involves are gay or straight? Does it depend on the level of contact (simple holding of hands as opposed to full making out and clothed foreplay).

Just curious what people feel on this topic (poll to follow).

I have my own opinion - OTT (over the top) displays of affection bother me regardless of the sex of the people involved. I'm not that much of a prude, but I think there's a time and a place for everything. Holding hands and/or a simple kiss don't bother me, but when two people put on an ostentatious display of snogging and groping, I always feel like telling them to "get a room"...

Nope, no form of PDA bothers meh. I fail to see why it should.

No problems with it here.

if two people in love do it tastefully... (not flagerantly doing it to display their love infront of others for the sake of rubbing other people's noses in it) no I don't mind. I will not stare, but I don't mind.

if it's done to me... say a stranger runs up and showers me with kisses and Hugs...

well I will at least be embarrassed, but anything more depends on the situation.

Not at all--I'd rather see public affection than see uptight people with disapproving stares any day. We could all do with loosening up a bit, I think.

While I'm not particularly comfortable with displaying public affection myself, I have no problem with other people doing so (as long as they're not having sex for all to see). I'm of the frame of mind that as long as it doesn't harm others, people should be able to do whatever they want. If I don't like it I can look away.

I totally agree. As long as it's not over the top, I don't mind, and I don't appreciate people glaring at me on the rare occasion that I choose to partake...
Hot gay guys are, of course, exempt, and can make out as much as they want. I actually prefer it when they make out in public. ;)

OK, the poll's up now :)

Don't bother me. They can dry hump for all I care. ;)

Mildly annoying but I let them have their fun. Seeing your brother dry-humping some fat bint however is still very disturbing to say the least.

I have my own opinion - OTT (over the top) displays of affection bother me regardless of the sex of the people involved. I'm not that much of a prude, but I think there's a time and a place for everything. Holding hands and/or a simple kiss don't bother me, but when two people put on an ostentatious display of snogging and groping, I always feel like telling them to "get a room"...
My sentiments exactly. There are few things more beautiful than a couple obviously in love, but there are some things that are best kept to when that couple is alone. Otherwise, they cheapen their own intimacy, which, I suppose, is their right to do if they wish.

While I'm not particularly comfortable with displaying public affection myself, I have no problem with other people doing so (as long as they're not having sex for all to see). I'm of the frame of mind that as long as it doesn't harm others, people should be able to do whatever they want. If I don't like it I can look away.

Because I'm too lazy to rewrite what someone else has said, I'll just say I agree ;)

Alright, who said that PDA is only offensive when strait couples partake?

Alright, who said that PDA is only offensive when strait couples partake?

I wish it were me. But it wasn't... I couldn't care less what other people do. If something bothers me, I simply don't look, since it's my problem, anyway.

Really extreme PDAs are offensive no matter who's involved. Once you cross a certain line, you're essentially involving nonconsenting bystanders in your sex act, and that's really just not okay.

I can't imagine being offended by kisses and cuddles and such, though, nor can I imagine why the genders of the participants would affect anything at all.

Major public displays of affection are offensive because they show a lack of respect for people who might be uncomfortable with said displays.

How did PDA suddenly come to mean this? When I think of PDA's I think of:
http://www.wintouch.com/images/pda.gif

Not:
http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/pda.jpg

And I challenge you to present a reason for creating such a pointless abbreviation.....

Minor PDAs don't bother me. Major PDAs don't bother me either, unless the couple is really, really ugly. I know I wouldn't want to subject other people to the sight of me making out, so I appreciate when other, similarly ugly people spare me. But two really hot people could have sex next to me on the bus and I wouldn't mind.

Major public displays of affection are offensive because they show a lack of respect for people who might be uncomfortable with said displays.

I don't agree ... if someone feels uncomfortable with your public appearance or behavior, does that mean you should change it? I figure, if no one's being hurt, let 'em frolic as they may. If someone is offended by someone else's religion or ethnicity, is the other party obligated to change?

If you meant offensive to YOU ... then ignore the above, because you're not making an objective statement.

And I challenge you to present a reason for creating such a pointless abbreviation.....

More pointless than personal digital assistant?

I really don't care, they can dry hump for all they want, I'll just start laughing at'em

I said major ones ... but I dont know if offend is the word I am looking for ... makes me feel "uncomfortable" where I just feel like I shouldent be seeing this ... maybe it is just because I dont like people watching me with my gf or bf

Alright, who said that PDA is only offensive when strait couples partake?Me. Am I still the only one?
Crazy.
I like to watch gay guys make out, the raunchier the better. That Christina Aguilara video "Beautiful" totally does it for me. As for lesbos, I'm always like, "aw! That's so sweet!".
Straight couples can get a room. No one needs to see that . I tolerate it, but find it kinda offensive.

And I challenge you to present a reason for creating such a pointless abbreviation.....
How is it more pointless then Personal data assistant

Personal display of affection has more letters and more words and sylables

How is it more pointless then Personal data assistant

Personal display of affection has more letters and more words and sylablesPersonal Digital Assistant.
Acronyms are only useful to people who say the words a lot. To everyone else, it seems ridiculous. My friends and I say "PDA" all the time. It's efficient.

How is it more pointless then Personal data assistant

Personal display of affection has more letters and more words and sylables

That would be PUBLIC display of affection ... if it's not public, there's no controversy (unless you're even more nazish than I'm being for pointing this out)

Major PDA embarrass me slightly, but I don't find them at all offensive. And I find straight couples embarrass me a little more, for whatever reason.

I don't agree ... if someone feels uncomfortable with your public appearance or behavior, does that mean you should change it? I figure, if no one's being hurt, let 'em frolic as they may. If someone is offended by someone else's religion or ethnicity, is the other party obligated to change?

If you meant offensive to YOU ... then ignore the above, because you're not making an objective statement.

Perhaps I should have said inconsiderate instead of offensive. I'm not personally offended by PDA unless it occurs between two friends I'm hanging out with; in that case, it's very impolite because they're behaving as if I'm not there.

And yes, I do think there's something to be said for making occasional, reasonable concessions so that the people around you will be more comfortable. You're certainly not obligated to show consideration of others, but if you know a certain action will irritate those around you, and you're not sacrificing any of your principles if you don't do it, then why do it?

Yes, it offends me. Perhaps I am a bit prudish and uptight, but, really, get a damn room if you need to slob all over your significant other.

Major PDAs are offensive, no matter who's involved

They are annoying more than offensive to me. I just think they should go home or get a f'ing room.

Edit: After some thought.. yes it is offensive. They obviously want others to see them, or else they wouldn't do it in public. In that case they should get a web cam and knock their socks off at home.

And I challenge you to present a reason for creating such a pointless abbreviation.....
Public schools created the abbreviation. At my school all PDA’s are prohibited.
Me. Am I still the only one?
Crazy.
I like to watch gay guys make out, the raunchier the better. That Christina Aguilara video "Beautiful" totally does it for me. As for lesbos, I'm always like, "aw! That's so sweet!".
Straight couples can get a room. No one needs to see that . I tolerate it, but find it kinda offensive.
So, then, I guess you don’t have a problem with people finding gay couples making out in public offensive, right?

Offensive, no.
Annoying, yes.

Mostly I don't care. If two people feel so passionate that they can't restrain themselves, that's good for them. I don't need to look. Although when your in line at an amusement park and the couple in front of you starts going at it, that can be awkward.

I'm in favor of public boinking. But kissing and holding hands? Ech! Yucky! :p

I find major PDA's offensive, whether it makes me uncomfortable or not. They never asked me if I minded, therefore I'm an unwilling participant, if nothing but a voyeur. Sure, I can not look. I find it offensive that they're doing something that makes me feel like I shouldn't look at a public area.

In actuality, I just respond as I normally would, and have no trouble looking at them (although I wouldn't stare) any more than I'd look at a different person in public. The fact still remains that I never got a say as to whether I wanted to observe a sexual act.

If it's a dark cinema and they are sitting on their own, that's fine. If it's sitting at the back of the bus where people wouldn't really be looking, that's fine. If it's sitting next to me in the cinema or in front of me on the bus, then it's not really appropriate.

Incidentally...I'm a big pro-gay-rights person, but I was once walking down the street when I was younger, and one guy walking next to the other reached out, squeezed his butt, and put his arm around the other guys waist. For some reason that gave me an instant "I feel sick" reaction (not meaning to offend any gay people, just being honest!). I don't know why I had this reaction, possibly because of the general societal opression, possibly because it was so unexpected it caught me off-guard. Either way, my point is that althought I had a reaction to their actions, they were doing nothing wrong, it was a lovely display of affection, and I fully support them. They weren't doing it to show off to me, or anything of that sort. It's all good.

Strangely I never had that reaction again, it doesn't bother me in the least when my gay friend's boyfriend gets home, and they kiss. *shrug*

All in all, I put it down to politeness. It's not polite to suck face next to someone who hasn't given you permission. Just as it's not polite to do anything else that might make reasonably them uncomfortable.
As such, I understand why people could be offended by minor public displays, as well.

I'm in favor of public boinking. But kissing and holding hands? Ech! Yucky! :p
This has happened a few times in the park across the road from my school. During the morning when all the kids are walking through it.

Funny, yes. Appropriate, no.
(I know you were just joking, but it does happen)

Sometimes I'm joking, and sometimes I'm not.

And sometimes... it's a little of each. ;)

I can't imagine being offended by kisses and cuddles and such, though, nor can I imagine why the genders of the participants would affect anything at all.

I figured that aspect of the poll was a gauge of squeamishness to "alternative" love.

I figured that aspect of the poll was a gauge of squeamishness to "alternative" love.

Oh, I'm sure. I just don't happen to understand that squeamishness. :)

no.

Do PDV (public displays of violence) offend you?

They do me.

I don't mind gay couples making out heavily and groping each other.

Ewww.. str8 couples.. I'm alright with some minor PDA.. but only two hot gay guys can make out in public... for shock effect. :)

well what about me? I usually only do some minor PDA... sometimes giving my boyfriend a brief kiss, and holding his hand... if I'm west hollywood, I'm passionately making out with him, and have my hands all over him.. typically one hand grabbing his ass, and the other up his shirt. But hey that's only West Hollywood (Weho).

no.

Do PDV (public displays of violence) offend you?

They do me.
All displays of violence offend me, but private displays of violence worry me more.

private displays of affection never worry me, whatever is happening, as long as both (all?) parties are knowingly and understandingly consenting

I don't mind gay couples making out heavily and groping each other.

I don't mind that, either. Then again, I don't mind anyone making out heavily and groping each other in public. Though I'll draw the line at actual penetration in public. Not for the sake of the act of insertion, mind you; for the sake of all the attendant noise and smell, rather.

I like a tidy city. I don't want to be ankle-deep in reproductive fluids, after all. But I'd prefer a city full of lovers over a city full of thugs any day of the week.

Well i'm not talking about sex.... just rubbing and holding each other..

How did PDA suddenly come to mean this? When I think of PDA's I think of:
http://www.wintouch.com/images/pda.gif

Not:
http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/pda.jpg

And I challenge you to present a reason for creating such a pointless abbreviation.....
You must be young - the abbreviation of PDA has been around a lot longer than Personal Data Assistants have...:rolleyes:

I ususally don't mind. But if ppl are being overly touchy feely, pawing and groping each other it gets a bit annoying. I used to be friends with a girl who would practically hump her BF in the cafe in college. They were always at each other. One night some ppl were all up in his house watching a film, they were lying on the couch with a blanket over them and she was eh well..you can guess what her hands were doing. Its all fine if you do it in private, but that was so over board.

I don't care. I don't have to watch.

I ususally don't mind. But if ppl are being overly touchy feely, pawing and groping each other it gets a bit annoying. I used to be friends with a girl who would practically hump her BF in the cafe in college. They were always at each other. One night some ppl were all up in his house watching a film, they were lying on the couch with a blanket over them and she was eh well..you can guess what her hands were doing. Its all fine if you do it in private, but that was so over board.

Yeah, that's the kind of thing that really bothers me. Like I said, it's equivalent to treating your friends as if they're not even there.

So, then, I guess you don’t have a problem with people finding gay couples making out in public offensive, right?Is that so hard to believe?
I don't care what people think; you can be the next Hitler in your head, for all I care. You can think anything you want; find anything you want to offensive.
It's not like I harass straights who make out in public, I just find it offensive. That is an opinion of mine that I would be a hypocrite not to afford everyone else the right to have.
I'm soooooo sorry for discriminating against straights. We are all so hard done by.

There was a case here (in Australia) where a straight couple were evicted from a gay night club for making out. Imagine the outcry from civil liberty groups if it were a gay couple evicted from a straight nightclub.

A couple of friends of mine (lesbians) were refused service at the bar of a certain gay nightclub on the grounds that it was a gay men's nightclub...which, IMHO, is also wrong.

Discrimination is discrimination no matter who it's aimed at, or coming from...

I personally find any PDA offensive. When I'm single, it hurts me to see others being together and happy, and when I'm not, it hurts me to see others together when I'm separated from my loved one. This doesn't mean that I think it should be stopped, I just don't enjoy watching it for personal and not moral reasons. I voted other, because this is a mixture of minor PDA being offensive and not caring what they do.

Is that so hard to believe?
With all the hypocrisy that goes around, it is. Nice to see someone who isn’t full of it, though.

There's a limit to what sort of things I'd like to see when I go out for a stroll in public, but I'm not about to try to stop someone from doing it. As has been stated multiple times before in this thread, I don't have to look.

Being single, the only thing I get offended at is the ubiquitous "DAMMIT, WHERE'S MINE?!?" that echoes through my head.

Seriously, it all depends on the situation. As a teacher, I abhor PDA at school in the halls or any other time when it's in full view of passing crowds. Then again, I am all in favor of the massive liplock that occurs when, say, lovers reunite after a prolonged absence or some kind of intense peril (y'know, like being trapped in a mine, or after the vows are exchanged...). Airports, docks, wherever two flames that burned for one another rejoin to form one passionate bonfire, hey, I'm all for it (the famous b/w photograph of the end of WWII in NYC is a prime example).

It's a matter of situational tact, judgement and consideration.

There was a case here (in Australia) where a straight couple were evicted from a gay night club for making out. Imagine the outcry from civil liberty groups if it were a gay couple evicted from a straight nightclub.

A couple of friends of mine (lesbians) were refused service at the bar of a certain gay nightclub on the grounds that it was a gay men's nightclub...which, IMHO, is also wrong.

Discrimination is discrimination no matter who it's aimed at, or coming from...

Hrm, yes. Where I live, the lesbians spin right out of control if they can't come to men's gay bars (say, on a men only night), and yet the very same lesbians don't let gay men into their bars at all.

I usually don't find it offensive, but have done so on two occasions. The first was seeing two obese (and I mean majorly obese) people making out in a supermarket. :eek: The other was seeing the girl I liked make out with my best friend. :eek:

With all the hypocrisy that goes around, it is. Nice to see someone who isn’t full of it, though.Kiss and make up? :fluffle:
PDA ALERT!!!

Eh, it doesn't really offend me, I just pity the people. Either they are insecure in their relationship and feel the need to flaunt it and shove how in love they are in everyone's faces. Or they just weren't raised properly and lack class. I don't really mind hugs, hand holding, arms around, or smooching in airports (ect). But anything else is just really in bad taste and is disrespectful. But yet again, I'm a bitter prude, so don't listen to me.

I really don't want to see two people kissing in front of a shop rite.

I find excessive PDA very offensive - both hetero and homo. The occasional kissing is okay, but anything severely more than frequently is just disgusting. We know you lust after each other, and we don't give a damn. :rolleyes:

My tolerance is based on how attractive the two are. Hugging is always okay. So are light pecks. From there... well, I am MORE willing to let it go if you're at least good to look at (both of them) than if you're both fatties who look like you got violated with the ugly stick. :o