NationStates Jolt Archive

Do you beat your meat? Or... well I don't know any slang for women. Feel free to post some euphemisms.

Make a poll.

TSw predicts the result will be that almost everyone does it, and that the same amount of men and women does it.

Make a poll.

TSw predicts the result will be that almost everyone does it, and that the same amount of men and women does it.

Someone in another thread tried to tell me it was about 50/50 which i knew was BS so I made this. I think you'll be right as long as women are truthful b/c they seem to lie a lil more about this topic, but i did keep voting private.

Make a poll.

TSw predicts the result will be that almost everyone does it, and that the same amount of men and women does it.

Oh, everybody does it. But I'll bet you something that some hardcore-Christians are going to lie about it ;)

Oh, everybody does it. But I'll bet you something that some hardcore-Christians are going to lie about it ;)

You're damn right they are. The world just wouldn't be "right" if they didn't.

:D

How come I'm still the only female to have voted on this? I feel lonely... :(

How come I'm still the only female to have voted on this? I feel lonely... :(

*points to the poll*

Look! We've got a liar on the altar!!

Never, my ass.

I actually don't masturbate, but I'm certainly not morally opposed to it.

*points to the poll*

Look! We've got a liar on the altar!!

Never, my ass.

Give her a break... she might be too young ;) Some of us only learn it in time.

*points to the poll*

Look! We've got a liar on the altar!!

Never, my ass.

Shush, you. Read a person's posts before you call them a liar. :p

I would believe someone like NR wouldn't. Considering women are compelled to less often as well.

I admit I do from time to time, but I'm trying to wane myself off it. It's a painful process. :headbang:

I would believe someone like NR wouldn't.

I admit I do from time to time, but I'm trying to wane myself off it. It's a painful process. :headbang:

*lol
Well, that would explain why she's sooo irritable :D
Why would you want to try a thing like that?

... Considering women are compelled to less often as well.



Now, who told you THAT????
Let this woman here tell you that women are just as compelled, if not even more.

Give her a break... she might be too young ;) Some of us only learn it in time.

Well, I'm in my 20's, so I doubt that's it. Masturbation just doesn't do anything for me. (And I'm well aware that's weird, but I can't do much about it!) Actual flesh-and-blood men are a different matter, though... ;)

Shush, you. Read a person's posts before you call them a liar. :p

But... I wanna riot!

*shakes fist*

Oh, everybody does it. But I'll bet you something that some hardcore-Christians are going to lie about it ;)
And now you know why I wrote 'almost'. I added it as an afterthought by the way :p

Well, I'm in my 20's, so I doubt that's it. Masturbation just doesn't do anything for me. (And I'm well aware that's weird, but I can't do much about it!) Actual flesh-and-blood men are a different matter, though... ;)
<tempted to volunteer himself, but is too lazy :D >
that's what they all say :p

But... I wanna riot!

*shakes fist*

Well, now there's two more "never" girls. You can try rioting at them. :)

Hmm... As far as I can tell, about 20% of the NS population are females.

Should we start making bet's on how many will claim they don't?

I'm amazed anyone claiming to have an otherwise normal sexdrive, doesn't have fun masturbating??? Maybe she's really an alien lifeform?! Someone call MIB :p

Someone call MIB :p

*runs for phone*

...

...

...

SHIT! It isn't working!!

...And I don't know the number!!!

Hmm... As far as I can tell, about 20% of the NS population are females.

Should we start making bet's on how many will claim they don't?

I'm amazed anyone claiming to have an otherwise normal sexdrive, doesn't have fun masturbating??? Maybe she's really an alien lifeform?! Someone call MIB :p

Dammit, you figured me out. I'm really from the planet Xorb, ten thousand light-years away. Now our whole plan to secretly infiltrate your species is ruined!

Damn! Me either!!

I'm shocked I could be so wrong though.. 75% of all women doesn't do it??? Girls, you do realize it's both free and perfectly safe, right?

What was that stat... 75% of women admit to masterbation, and the other 25% lie about it? ;)

*ducks large flaming objects tossed in his general direction from the NS ladies*

Actually I'd be more interested in seeing how this relates to both sexs' relationship status at the time.

Well, I'm in my 20's, so I doubt that's it. Masturbation just doesn't do anything for me. (And I'm well aware that's weird, but I can't do much about it!) Actual flesh-and-blood men are a different matter, though... ;)

Funny... I really, REALLY learned what fun that can be with a man ;)

Damn! Me either!!

I'm shocked I could be so wrong though.. 75% of all women doesn't do it??? Girls, you do realize it's both free and perfectly safe, right?

I suspect I and a fundamentalist or two have skewed your results, and in a few hours when more people have voted they'll look more like you expected. Give it time. :)

I suspect I and a fundamentalist or two have skewed your results, and in a few hours when more people have voted they'll look more like you expected. Give it time. :)
I hope you're right. Even though it's 50-50 for you girls now, I'm feeling a bit bad for you.

Former US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders once said that 90 percent of American men report that they masturbate on a regular basis, and 70 percent of American women report that they masturbate regularly. The rest, she said, lie.

Former US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders once said that 90 percent of American men report that they masturbate on a regular basis, and 70 percent of American women report that they masturbate regularly. The rest, she said, lie.

*lol
I think there's a lot of truth there.
Did anybody notice the we don't yet have a female who do it "rarely"?

My johnson and I have a very good relationship, and have been well aquainted for a very long time.
I have the following things to say about Whackin'.

1. Anyone who says that they never have, is either too young..or a liar.
2. Anyone who doesnt...should.

Flogging the Dolphin is a necessary function that relieves tension and stress.
It happens to have the benefit of feeling pretty damn good, too.

The ONLY bad thing about punching the munchkin that can be bad..is the choice to do it somewhere innapropriate.
Save it for the privacy of your own room, or the shower..or whatever...

So..in closing....keep on whackin'!

How come I'm still the only female to have voted on this? I feel lonely... :(

hey girly dont worry u aint the only one who did the vote:) lm a female too and l did the poll..as u GUYS would have seen *points to poll* haha

Perhaps men and women have different ideas of what rarely is?

I suppose rarely would be a couple of times a week?

I can proudly say, as a male teenager, that I have never masturbated (HAHA! TAKE THAT STEROTYPES!). Though I probably should at some point...I've been twitchy...all my life, actually.


...


Don't look at me like that, I haven't.

Perhaps men and women have different ideas of what rarely is?

I suppose rarely would be a couple of times a week?

So, often would be twice a day??? Ok, in that case we seem to have different ideas... :eek:

I masturbate somewhere in between often and rarely, though I'm trying not to get addicted. Sure, it feels pretty damn good, but I want to save some for the real thing! ;)

I pity people who don't masturbate.
And I don't mean that in a "haha, they don't get off" sense.
They're ignorant of their own body.

A guy I know has a 23 year old female friend who didn't know what a clitoris was.

what.
the.
fuck.

I can proudly say, as a male teenager, that I have never masturbated (HAHA! TAKE THAT STEROTYPES!). Though I probably should at some point...I've been twitchy...all my life, actually.


...


Don't look at me like that, I haven't.

Then do.

hahah l actually think masturbation is overrated..it is alot better with the opposite sex;) (not that l would know that yet and l'll be 20 soon..damn ) but if someone doesn't masturbate then thats their choice..if someone does..then go for them lol

I can proudly say, as a male teenager, that I have never masturbated (HAHA! TAKE THAT STEROTYPES!). Though I probably should at some point...I've been twitchy...all my life, actually.


...


Don't look at me like that, I haven't.

o_O :eek:

I pity people who don't masturbate.
And I don't mean that in a "haha, they don't get off" sense.
They're ignorant of their own body.

A guy I know has a 23 year old female friend who didn't know what a clitoris was.

what.
the.
fuck.

What.

The.

Fuck?

So, often would be twice a day??? Ok, in that case we seem to have different ideas... :eek:

One of my exes liked to masturbate about four times a day, on average.

We made an odd couple. :)

I wonder whether this sample is somehow skewed....

Then do.

But that's the only thing that makes me special! I have nothing else to be proud of!


Wow...that's sad. I need some anti-depressent. Bring on the cheese!

Wow...that's sad. I need some anti-depressent. Bring on the cheese!
I know something else that could make you happy......

I pity people who don't masturbate.
And I don't mean that in a "haha, they don't get off" sense.
They're ignorant of their own body.

A guy I know has a 23 year old female friend who didn't know what a clitoris was.

what.
the.
fuck.

Holy fuck! What do they teach you guys. Doesnt anyone do Sex Ed?

I know something else that could make you happy......


Whackin?

I know something else that could make you happy......
Disney Land?...Surfers Paradise?

Whackin?
Hmmm, did you just kill the joke?

But yes, whackin it is.

I know something else that could make you happy......

Chocolate? Mmm...chocolate...*stares off in space*

Disney Land?...Surfers Paradise?


Im pretty sure he means whackin'.

I can proudly say, as a male teenager, that I have never masturbated (HAHA! TAKE THAT STEROTYPES!). Though I probably should at some point...I've been twitchy...all my life, actually.

Don't look at me like that, I haven't.

Your pants are either already on fire, or you should see to it that they become in the near future due to friction.

Hmmm, did you just kill the joke?

But yes, whackin it is.


Sorry..Im just having fun saying "Whackin'".

One of my exes liked to masturbate about four times a day, on average.

We made an odd couple. :)

I'd say. It's not often you see a woman walking next to a man who has one arm that looks like Popeye's.

Any woman who ends up with me better get used to the idea that we're gonna be an odd couple. :p

Don't forget that it is recommended that men ejaculate at least twice daily to help prevent prostate cancer. And if you don't have a willing aid, then by what other means do you have other than self-help?

Don't forget that it is recommended that men ejaculate at least twice daily to help prevent prostate cancer. And if you don't have a willing aid, then by what other means do you have other than self-help?


Precisely.

This goes to show you that even as you get older, wrestling the bald-headed champ, is equally important to help prevent prostate cancer.

Your pants are either already on fire, or they should see to it that they become in the near future due to friction.

I HAVEN'T! NEVER! EVER! IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE! I HAVEN'T!

*whew*

...

NO! BAD HAND! *slaps it away*

I pity people who don't masturbate.
And I don't mean that in a "haha, they don't get off" sense.
They're ignorant of their own body.

Not necessarily true. I can probably draw you a reasonable diagram of my genitalia, but it won't make me any more turned on by sticking a finger in it. If there's one thing that's obvious about sexuality, it's that it comes in an awful lot of varieties. Being different from you does not automatically make someone ignorant, stupid, or a liar. It just makes them different from you.

Don't forget that it is recommended that men ejaculate at least twice daily to help prevent prostate cancer. And if you don't have a willing aid, then by what other means do you have other than self-help?

that can be turned into an awsome pick up line. "Masturbation prevents cancer wanna help me live?"

or maybe its ejaculation prevents cancer....damn bad memory!

I'd say. It's not often you see a woman walking next to a man who has one arm that looks like Popeye's.

Any woman who ends up with me better get used to the idea that we're gonna be an odd couple. :p

*laughs*

Actually, come to think of it, his right arm was rather well-muscled, but I attribute that more to his being a conductor than to his...erm...recreational activities. Although I wouldn't be surprised if they helped a bit...

Don't forget that it is recommended that men ejaculate at least twice daily to help prevent prostate cancer. And if you don't have a willing aid, then by what other means do you have other than self-help?

I think I'll get a second opinion.

Because I'm sure there...there must be...umm...anyone have any cheese? Cheddar, preferrably.

Not necessarily true. I can probably draw you a reasonable diagram of my genitalia, but it won't make me any more turned on by sticking a finger in it. If there's one thing that's obvious about sexuality, it's that it comes in an awful lot of varieties. Being different from you does not automatically make someone ignorant, stupid, or a liar. It just makes them different from you.
Although much research suggests that many women have to "practice" having orgasms somehow, that there is a physical and mental skill to be learnt. So if you look at it that way, Masturbation is actually a very good thing, and should be done by every girl/woman.
Besides, it's good to find out what you like. Do you expect any male to just know somehow? It's always best if you tell them :p

Do you beat your meat? Or... well I don't know any slang for women. Feel free to post some euphemisms.


How about "Flicking the Bean", for females?

that can be turned into an awsome pick up line. "Masturbation prevents cancer wanna help me live?"

or maybe its ejaculation prevents cancer....damn bad memory!
Either way, s/he's a keeper if it works ;)

Anyway, Lumberjack guy, does your dangly bit actually work?

I dunno how often often is. Anything more than a few times a week for me I think? Depends a lot on whether I'm working, travelling, have a lover and a million other odd things. At the moment I'm stuck home for medical reasons, so I'm getting blisters :(

Although much research suggests that many women have to "practice" having orgasms somehow, that there is a physical and mental skill to be learnt. So if you look at it that way, Masturbation is actually a very good thing, and should be done by every girl/woman.
Besides, it's good to find out what you like. Do you expect any male to just know somehow? It's always best if you tell them :p

All of that makes plenty of sense. Perhaps I should clarify that I have tried to masturbate in the distant past, and discovered that I'm simply not turned on by anything I myself do. I guess I have an "other person" fetish. :)

Oh, and I certainly don't expect guys to just know what I want - that would be silly. My first boyfriend in college was a learning experience and knew it (and didn't exactly mind, since I was one for him, too, he being a good Catholic boy I sorta kinda accidentally corrupted).

All of that makes plenty of sense. Perhaps I should clarify that I have tried to masturbate in the distant past, and discovered that I'm simply not turned on by anything I myself do. I guess I have an "other person" fetish. :)

Oh, and I certainly don't expect guys to just know what I want - that would be silly. My first boyfriend in college was a learning experience and knew it (and didn't exactly mind, since I was one for him, too, he being a good Catholic boy I sorta kinda accidentally corrupted).

In a way, that's how I learned it. It's not much of a turn-on at first, doing anything just with yourself. But if you once had a boyfriend who really enjoyed watching you do that... well, that was kind of a trigger for me.

Anyway, Lumberjack guy, does your dangly bit actually work?

Of course it works. How do you think I piss?

My balls, on the other hand...

In a way, that's how I learned it. It's not much of a turn-on at first, doing anything just with yourself. But if you once had a boyfriend who really enjoyed watching you do that... well, that was kind of a trigger for me.

Mr. Four Times A Day got me to try doing it in front of him on several occasions. He thought it was awesome, I thought it was sort of boring. I was much happier doing things to him.

What can I say? Me and my hand are just not Meant to Be. :p

Of course it works. How do you think I piss?

Standing?

Uhm, what I meant was, are you sure the poor thing is alive?

Oh come on, anyone over 15 who says they havent is lying. Probably anyone younger would be too.

Oh come on, anyone over 15 who says they havent is lying. Probably anyone younger would be too.The poll doesn't ask who hasn't, it asks who doesn't...

I hope it's alive. Perhaps I should poke it with a stick.

And for the last time, I'm not lieing! I'm talking to you British Socialism!

I hope it's alive. Perhaps I should poke it with a stick.

And for the last time, I'm not lieing! I'm talking to you British Socialism!
I SERIOUSLY think you should make sure. I mean, 20 and never once done it?! I have a damn hard time believing you, but I'd seriously consider calling the doctor if I were you... Oh well.

I've decided not to vote… 'cos I feel slightly female today and so I don't know whether to go for male or female………… :gundge: and I don't know why I used that smiley, or even WTF it's supposed to be.

Although much research suggests that many women have to "practice" having orgasms somehow, that there is a physical and mental skill to be learnt. So if you look at it that way, Masturbation is actually a very good thing, and should be done by every girl/woman.
Besides, it's good to find out what you like. Do you expect any male to just know somehow? It's always best if you tell them :p

Could not have put it better myself .... oh and I am f and yes I do ...

I SERIOUSLY think you should make sure. I mean, 20 and never once done it?! I have a damn hard time believing you, but I'd seriously consider calling the doctor if I were you... Oh well.

Try 6 years younger than 20. And I'm sure I won't have to call a doc--AAAAAHHHH OMG WTF IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!

Try 6 years younger than 20. And I'm sure I won't have to call a doc--AAAAAHHHH OMG WTF IS THAT?!?!?!?!?! Quick, get an elastoplast.

I would believe someone like NR wouldn't. Considering women are compelled to less often as well.

I admit I do from time to time, but I'm trying to wane myself off it. It's a painful process. :headbang: I wouldn't recommend admitting it. Keep it a horrible little secret until it's gone.

A Euphemism for female masterbation that came out at a hypnotist show is 'flicking her bean'. Apparently it was her second favourite thing after eating cheese. She really loved cheese.

A Euphemism for female masterbation that came out at a hypnotist show is 'flicking her bean'. Apparently it was her second favourite thing after eating cheese. She really loved cheese.

Funny, I love cheese, but it gets me sedated, not horny.

Funny, I love cheese, but it gets me sedated, not horny.Funny, I hate cheese... it makes me puke.

Ho, ho, ho.
I meant eating cheese was her favourite thing to do, her second favourite was flicking her bean.
With most of the men on the hypnotist show their first, second and third favourite passtimes were wanking. Apart from those who indulged in smoking pot, for some reason they'd rather do that than crack one off, which I find completely weird and a very persuasive argument to not do drugs.