NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.headtochrist.com/

One of the members of Korn, nicknamed "Head," converted to Christianity. Personally, I think it's a marketing ploy, as he's advertising his Christianity more than Mel Gibson aka "Satan."

His website's blog says:
in the last couple of months i've been trying new things. i'm not under any pastor at any church at all. i've been popping in a church or 2 here and there where nobody knows me, but mostly just seeking god on my own... ...i would much rather the spirit of god guide me in life than the spirit of religion. when you hear the music that is being divinely inspired thru me your gonna feel the rage from god, but most of all the love that he has for all of us here on earth.... ...please pray that god moves quickly in putting my project together so my cd and docu-drama can be released very soon.
Wow. He's totally using Christianity as a marketing-ploy. Put that in your book and smoke it, Max.

Anyway, onto the point of this thread. In his "testimonials," section, it says:
This is a section for people to share their testimonies. Please tell how you came to know Jesus Christ as your savior. It is always encouraging to hear how God is working in all of our lives. So, no matter how hardcore your story, send it in.
(Bold and red text added)

So, here's the contest: Write a story about how you converted to Christianity (whether it's true or not). Whoever writes the most "hardcore," story wins.

Oh, and also, lastly... With Head's braids, he looks like a bearded, Princess Leia.

http://www.headtochrist.com/
One of the members of Korn, nicknamed "Head," converted to Christianity.


Man, I was so totally bummed when I heard about that. Now the band is crap[pier, for those of you who dislike KoRn].

I didn't recognize him by his stage name, so I totally thought the "head" meant something else, i.e. in conjunction with "hardcore", it looked kinda of... interesting.

Well I was watching some Hardcore, and all the girls were yelling, 'Oh my God, Oh my God!' so I figured it must be great!

Wow, that's pretty cynical marketing.

Instead of participating and pretending to be something you obviously despise, how about you all practice writing something you actually seem to know something about, such as:

How I grew up to be a completely self-centered, egotistical brat, without concern or care for anything or anyone outside of my own immediate desires and needs. Why I attack and belittle and insult anything and any group that might stand in the way of me getting immediate satisfaction to my every whim, such as those stinking moralistic Christians that are always trying stop me from having my fun. Why I think there is no such thing as a moral code of civilized behavior outside of my own definition of right or wrong that I determine by the moment and the occasion… Why I hate and despise and mock any and every differing point of view… and I’ll validate and proselytize my depravity by screaming the word ‘tolerance’ louder and more often than anyone else, entirely removing all intellectual discussion and conversation that might conclude with the fact that I promote nothing but egocentric self-indulgence and say we should do it all without a morsel of guilt.

Obviously he hasn’t been a Christian very long, but how does that make it right to go off and be prigs about what he’s doing? If you don’t like it, don’t read it… I don't even have to know or defend that guy to see you guys are acting like, lackeys …

So, here's the contest: Write a story about how you converted to Christianity (whether it's true or not). Whoever writes the most "hardcore," story wins.

Okay, I was sitting in front of my computer, eating a brownie (it was good BTW). I was watching a DVD (Silence of the Lambs), and because I was slightly twisted at the time I set the play speed to 300%. Upon hitting the halfway point, the screen froze, and I saw GOD!

I was driving home, after a long, wet night down the pub. Suddenly I see this blinding light descending from the sky. I figured Some brat was tossing flash-bang's at me or something, so I stepped on it. Seconds later, I crashed my van into this huge-ass hand, that magically stretched down from above.

When I came to, the plastic Jesus from my dahsboard had come alive and was hauling my drunk ass out the window of the smashed up, burning van. When the little thing finally had me safely on the sidewalk, the van exploded, setting fire to the enormous hand, which promptly vanished back up beyond the clouds.

I tell you, if Jesus hadn't been my very own saviour that night, I'd be deader than shite today :p

Anyway, onto the point of this thread. In his "testimonials," section, it says:

(Bold and red text added)

So, here's the contest: Write a story about how you converted to Christianity (whether it's true or not). Whoever writes the most "hardcore," story wins.

I'm quite sure you put words in his mouth in this one.

I used to be a morality-deprived heathen, but then one day while I was staggering home massively drunk, a man asked me "Have you found Jesus". And I, being the epitome of drunken wit, said "No, did you lose him again?", and then I tried to punch the guy in the face. When my hand got close, I felt as if I had hit a brick wall. Jesus Christ then materialized between me and the guy and said to me "Embrace my teachings, my son. Learn to accept god as your savior and lead a simple life of non-violence". He then vanished. The man said to me "Come brother, let us blow up an abortion clinic and kill some faggots, all in the name of Christ".

And I was saved. Now excuse me, I am off to spread the word to bastard sinful heathens and cult members.

So, here's the contest: Write a story about how you converted to Christianity (whether it's true or not). Whoever writes the most "hardcore," story wins.

ok.... when skydiving naked one day, while high on smack and heroin (some of which i had just sold to some 12 year old kids), with sparklers and firecrackers stapled to the butt-plug my favourite prostitute had just inserted into my rectum on the plane, i pulled the chord to open the parachute only to realise i'd sold the nylon to pay back that colombian dude with the gun. realising my impending doom i had only one option: to repent my sins and convert to christianity, just in case there was, after all, a God. so in the final few seconds, falling helplessly through the air with the sparklers now singing my ass hair, i spoke to God and asked for forgiveness for my utterly horrible and dispicable life. well, i say spoke to God - it was more of a one way conversation but, needless to say, my sins were indeed nullified and when i hit the ground, with a satisfying splat, i died a man at peace and a man of God... and thus my place in Heaven was assured. sure i lived a grotesque life, selling hard drugs to kids and frequenting underage prostitutes, but i found God in the most hardcore way ever, on my deathbed, and thanks to being able to repent my sins i need not worry about the afterlife! great loophole that! i'll remember it for my next animal reincarnation ;)




cynical in my old age... moi? never! :rolleyes:

i found God in the most hardcore way ever

LOL!

So there I was, fucking the skull of baby Jesus while Mary gave me a rim job. We'd had a successful day of picking aborted fetuses from trash cans and selling them to a disreputable Petfood Manufacturer and this was our way of unwinding. After jizzing in the empty rotting eye socket of Our Lord & Saviours tiny skull, I was up for some hardcore drugs. I phoned up my dealer and had Mary give him a BJ in exchange for a half-oh of the best bathub Meth on the planet.

I had baby Jesus warm up my pipe, made from the severed head of Oral Roberts, while I snorted a couple lines off the Holy Bible I kept around for just such a purpose. Once the pipe was all hot and ready, I dropped a nice chunk of Jib into it and started hooting on it. It was really good shit, and I decided it was best experienced intraveneously. I loaded a needle full of it banged the whole thing in one go, and my mind flipped out immediately. Itwas too much, I could feel my heart begining to explode, the blood vessels in my brain bursting, causing a catastrophic aneuryism and killing me nearly instantly. Fortunately, Dead Baby Jesus hadn't passed out yet and pimp slapped the life back into me with his awesome powers.


Thus, I was saved by Jesus.


My ass is SO banned. :)

So there I was, fucking the skull of baby Jesus while Mary gave me a rim job.
lmaorofl :p
an excellent start! :p

and now i'll read the rest...



edit: lmao if you get banned for that it was SO worth it! :p :fluffle: :fluffle:
i'd sig that if it didn't mean bannage for me too ;)

Wow. This thread's getting ugly.

My opinion on Korn and the conversion is as follows.

Korn sucks. They have very few good songs.

Converts are always the most zealous and annoying representatives of their new faith.

Pure Metal, I like it, but it needs some revisions.

ok.... when skydiving naked one day, while high on smack and heroin (some of which i had just sold to some 12 year old kids), with sparklers and firecrackers stapled to the butt-plug my favourite prostitute had just inserted into my rectum on the plane, i pulled the chord to open the parachute only to realise i'd sold the nylon to pay back that colombian dude with the gun. realising my impending doom i had only one option: to repent my sins and convert to christianity, just in case there was, after all, a God. so in the final few seconds, falling helplessly through the air with the sparklers now singing my ass hair, i spoke to God and asked for forgiveness for my utterly horrible and dispicable life. well, i say spoke to God - it was more of a one way conversation but, needless to say, my sins were indeed nullified.
and i was only able to email this to you because i had my laptop with intel neutrino wireless technology.

thud.

Instead of participating and pretending to be something you obviously despise, how about you all practice writing something you actually seem to know something about, such as:

How I grew up to be a completely self-centered, egotistical brat, without concern or care for anything or anyone outside of my own immediate desires and needs. Why I attack and belittle and insult anything and any group that might stand in the way of me getting immediate satisfaction to my every whim, such as those stinking moralistic Christians that are always trying stop me from having my fun. Why I think there is no such thing as a moral code of civilized behavior outside of my own definition of right or wrong that I determine by the moment and the occasion… Why I hate and despise and mock any and every differing point of view… and I’ll validate and proselytize my depravity by screaming the word ‘tolerance’ louder and more often than anyone else, entirely removing all intellectual discussion and conversation that might conclude with the fact that I promote nothing but egocentric self-indulgence and say we should do it all without a morsel of guilt.

Obviously he hasn’t been a Christian very long, but how does that make it right to go off and be prigs about what he’s doing? If you don’t like it, don’t read it… I don't even have to know or defend that guy to see you guys are acting like, lackeys …



It gives purpose to their otherwise meaningless lives ;)

Pure Metal, I like it, but it needs some revisions.


and i was only able to email this to you because i had my laptop with intel neutrino wireless technology.

thud.
:p

you do know they extended the cell phone network to reach inside 6ft down coffins now, right? a key demographic they were missing out, the dead. yup - for real. thank the lord for 3G technology! ;)



edit;
-snip-
there's a difference between having a bit of harmless (though thoroughly depraved) fun with an idea, and attacking the man's faith or christianity in general.

lmaorofl :p
an excellent start! :p

and now i'll read the rest...



edit: lmao if you get banned for that it was SO worth it! :p :fluffle: :fluffle:
i'd sig that if it didn't mean bannage for me too ;)

:D Yup. I've wanted to make a "So there I was doing something unbeleivably blapshemous and offensive" post for awhile now. A friend and myself play a game invovlving just such statements...invariably in public, usually in the line-up for a movie or some such thing. Because its Canada, we get away with it. While our some of the sheep are obviously offended to their core, they never say anything. Gets laughs from quite a few people too (from right across the board, not just who you'd expect)

The irony is that I actually do beleive in God. I just happen to beleive in a (warped beyond reason) Sense Of Humour too. Ain't no way God will send me to hell for spouting off like this, because you just know (if you beleive in him) that he has an awesome sense of humour. Just look at humantiy for proof.

:D Yup. I've wanted to make a "So there I was doing something unbeleivably blapshemous and offensive" post for awhile now. A friend and myself play a game invovlving just such statements...invariably in public, usually in the line-up for a movie or some such thing. Because its Canada, we get away with it. While our some of the sheep are obviously offended to their core, they never say anything. Gets laughs from quite a few people too (from right across the board, not just who you'd expect)

The irony is that I actually do beleive in God. I just happen to beleive in a (warped beyond reason) Sense Of Humour too. Ain't no way God will send me to hell for spouting off like this, because you just know (if you beleive in him) that he has an awesome sense of humour. Just look at humantiy for proof.
exactly - i mean God had first choice of all jokes didn't he? thats why he gave us asses - they make hilarious noises! i mean nobody can top god's #1 joke creation :p

we used to play a game similar to that, but ours was thinking up the most repulsive sexual menal image possible, usually involving people we knew... and none of which i am going to repeat here now :eek: :p


yay for christians with a sense of humour!


edit: i think you should still make that post a) because i think this can sink to yet lower levels, and b) i really want to get banned ;) :D