NationStates Jolt Archive

What do you want your last words to be?

What does the red button do?

"Hey, is this loaded?"

>.>

*runs*

"oops :eek: "

"Ohhhhh, Tiiiiink!"

heh.

Well, probably my last words will be to do with a moment of intense comedy followed immediately by a moment of intense explosivity. Like "Oh, right." or "it figures."

"I'd like to thank everyone for making my dream possible. I love you all!" :rolleyes:

Last Words? Thats Simple.


"Wouldn't it be weird if we were just smashed by a bus full of the Hawaiian Tropic girls?"

"Are you kidding? That won't kill me!"

"Ohhhhh, Tiiiiink!"


:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:


oh, and i want mine to be ':eek: that's huuuuuuuuuuge!'

"Ouch"

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:


oh, and i want mine to be ':eek: that's huuuuuuuuuuge!'

So you noticed!

...

*runs extremely fast*

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:


oh, and i want mine to be ':eek: that's huuuuuuuuuuge!'

Heh. It appears we both intend to die happy?

*cough* "I think... I left the stove on." *dies*

Heh. It appears we both intend to die happy?
lol, apparently, maybe we should form some kind of suicide pact? ;)

Probably:
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
"Yes, I actually am German/American/a dual citizen/green."
"I'll be damned if you make a CANOE out of ME." (upon which I would stab myself to death with a fork...)

"For God and the Queen!" Preferably while doing something self sacrificially heroic.

My 50million dollar fortune is buried at.... *dies*

lol, apparently, maybe we should form some kind of suicide pact? ;)

Sounds good to me. Even if we screw up, it won't be a complete loss.

"Ohhhhh, Tiiiiink!"

heh.

Totally stole my idea. Seriously, though? I want my dying words to be...

"Remember that time... when the Amish... stopped in at Advance Auto Parts?"

(true story; I posted it before)

Sounds good to me. Even if we screw up, it won't be a complete loss.
was that pun intended?

"Yeah...this is going well."

"Wait a second. Whats that noise? There isn't supposed to be any noise. Why is there noise?"

Or, possibly:

"We all knew this was going to happen but you just had to go and stick your head in it anyway. Now lo-" *Cut-off by a sudden noise and several thumps as bodies hit the ground*

"Nuclear WAR!?!"

"Lucite hardening ... must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from "Battlestar Galactica." Best ... death ... ever!" -Comic Guy

was that pun intended?

With my sense of humour, one can never tell. I can always make a handy job of using puns, though.

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing!"

or

"Hey ... you don't think that was poisonous, do you?"

"I've made dumber mistakes"

My last words before I was flung into the cold water of our pond in Scout Camp while we were building a dock for our boating classes:
"Just give it one more whack with the circus mallet."

"Of COURSE I know which wires to cross!"

Do coughing, spluttering and retching noises count as words? Because the odds are that will be my last sounds.

Alternatively, "This could be interesting". Actually, I quite like that one. I say it a lot.

"For God and the Queen!" Preferably while doing something self sacrificially heroic.
so many deaths that could make that funny...

For God and the Queen! *gets run over*


For God and the Queen!*heart attack*

For God and the Queen!*food poisoning*


anyway mine would be "what ever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!*collapse*"

*posts anyway*

"Seriously, who in their right mind would put a land mine aroun--"

I hope that my last words will be the ethos that I have always lived by:

"We are all imortal until we die"

I hope that my last words will be the ethos that I have always lived by:

"We are all imortal until we die"

Alright, I changed my mind.

"Odin's Forgiven: Thank you, captain obvious." are now my dying words.

Do coughing, spluttering and retching noises count as words? Because the odds are that will be my last sounds.

Alternatively, "This could be interesting". Actually, I quite like that one. I say it a lot.
yeah, mine will probably be 'well, how rude!' since i say that a lot

that you do.

especially to me :(

yeah, mine will probably be 'well, how rude!' since i say that a lot
Ooo, say it in the Jar Jar Binx way. "How Wude!"

Alright, I changed my mind.

"Odin's Forgiven: Thank you, captain obvious." are now my dying words.

*grins*

yeah, mine will probably be 'well, how rude!' since i say that a lot

If you happen to be surrounded by Atheists/Agnostics, and have a really mean streak in you, you should say something along the lines of:

"The Pink Unicorn! It's real! And she's so beautiful..."

*die*

Some typical emo-kid T-shirt slogan like:
'I'm so happy I could die.'
But then I'd probably skrew it up by getting hysterical and cackling:
'Hah hah, ironic to the last!'
Or maybe that one's my epitaph, *sigh* so much to think about...

Ooo, say it in the Jar Jar Binx way.
Those are your last words yes? :D

Well I geuss mine would be something like. "Alright We Will Be Ok,just dont stop, we will be o*bang*Kkk" :p

Some things to say to weird out the people by your side as you die:

"Oh, it's you, Jesus! No, what? wait! you're not...aaaaah! It BURNS!"

"The light..it's so beautiful...I-hey, they have a Burger King."

"Hey God, high five, yo!"

"It doesn't look that rotten"

*munches*

"The light..it's so beautiful...I-hey, they have a Burger King."

Burger King of the Jews!

"NO! No! Cut the blue one before the yellow one ..."

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing!"

"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Okay, nurse, yank the plug."

For my tombstone, I want it to say "He died the way he lived. Lying down a lot"

ok I have a better one:
"Well if I'm wrong let Anubis (or some other random weird god) kill me where I stand!"

"You can take away our life but you can never ... WHOA!! What the HELL are you doing man?! You could poke someones eye out with that!"

"I will visit my friends as they sleep and haunt my enemies after they wake."

"oh now thats something you don't see every day..."

*splat*

dont worry about me ill be just fine,....

"No, what about Chernobyl?"

"Man I feel like im gonna explode"

"Atom bomb? I thought you said bob and tom!"

"Silly human, I can not die by your pathetic weapons, now annihilation yes, but guns, rocket launchers, and tanks no. Ach not the smallest of small pebbles, you bastards.*Continues to rant until the pebble hits, and kills/or gets annihilated*"

"I die, content in the knowlege that the Empire will survive in the hands of my son, who will lead humanity on it's first steps of galactic conquest"

Me. Having conquered the world (Or remnants of, depending on whether I caused nuclear war) and put all those countries which I don't like to the sword/HMG/lasgun/Titan.

"Firecrackers arn't that powerful"

"Fine, I'll do it!"

"Don't worry, I heard the cops don't even carry guns here."

i will beckon all of my closest remaining family and friends to my bedside, shoo away the nurses who are worried that their employer will soon expire

once they are assembled, with eyes shining and tenderness on their breath i will let out the biggest gnarliest fart ever and promptly croak

... fuck me harder!

I told you i was ill

... fuck me harder!

If I thrust any harder, it's going to fall off! Oh shit...

I'm going to bed.

Hey, this stethoscope isn't working! I can't hear my heart b...

Whispered to the most avaricious and needing-of-a-pimp-slap of my progeny:

"I never told you this, but...I've always liked you best...the money I saved for you is buried in...*urghk*"

... fuck me harder!
there i was being subtle with the sexual innuendo and you just come right out and say it :rolleyes:

there i was being subtle with the sexual innuendo and you just come right out and say it :rolleyes:
lol, that was certainly direct.

If I were at war there a few possibilities.

"I don't see any snipers..."

"That's a strange looking belt..."

On any normal day.

*Holds hand up like a gun*..."bang" :D

"Dude, check this out!"

"I'll get a world record for this!"

"This planet has an atmosphere just like on Earth."

"Don't worry, I built it myself!"

"Hey....is that a nuclear missile? Oh no, it's just a plane. OH SHIT A SAFE!"


Or just telling a black joke in the middle of Compton to see if I can break the world-record for Most Bullets in a Body. ;)

there i was being subtle with the sexual innuendo and you just come right out and say it :rolleyes:
:) yup

"Pfft... You can't die from 5 straight hours of red hot sex!

*5 hours later*

Gee, you're ri..."

"Wait, those aren't my pants."

"Oh, this is your wife."

"Drop it or the white boy gets it!"

[at an NRA meeting, with a lisp] "So, I was talking to Jimmy, my gay lover, and I said, 'that Heston, he's such a flamer. I just couldn't keep his silly hands off me when I last saw him.' And Jimmy said-wait, this isn't the National Rainbow-" *many, many bangs*

"Hey aren't you that mass murderer from America's Most Wanted?!?!?!?"

"It's about damn time."

On deathbed:

"My vision gets dark, I see a light... my loved ones are at the end of the tunnel... wait... what do you mean 'exact fare only'? "

"I've been assured by the highest authorities, there is no live electrical feed in this sector." *ZAP*

"I remember this! The tech manual says we should remove this *YANK* and insert here..." *kaboom*

"I've always wanted to ride an ostrich."

"Hey Y'all, watch this..."

"Life has no value. Neither do I. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
*Dies, preferably setting off a bomb in some place of political importantance.*

Id try and be original....
"Take care of my dear Lady Hamilton, Hardy, take care of poor Lady Hamilton.
Kiss me, Hardy.
Now I am satisfied. Thank God I have done my duty."-Whos Hardy?

Last Words I have none"-Dies

"No.-"01:47 a.m. Alfred Rosenberg - (when asked if he had any last words)
(Apparent War Criminal)._.

My last words will probably be...

"I'll dive into the mud first. I've sure it's no more than a few feet deep."

'what kills me, only makes me stronger'
'so, you're a cannibal'
'it's probably just a rash'
'no, my shoes aren't untied'
'pull the pin and count to what?'
'what duck?'
'what's one more tequilla?'

i can't decide between them. maybe i'll just say them all at once.... might be a bit confusing but, hey, i'll be dead so i don't care

"Hey....is that a nuclear missile? Oh no, it's just a plane. OH SHIT A SAFE!"


Or just telling a black joke in the middle of Compton to see if I can break the world-record for Most Bullets in a Body. ;)
Ha Ha

I hope mine's something along the lines of: "Oh, I'll do that later." :D

I hope mine's something along the lines of: "Oh, I'll do that later." :D
You're gonna die married! :p

You're gonna die married! :p
It would be funnier if he was Catholic!

You're gonna die married! :p

As long as that's not the cause of death. ;)

Of course, if a certain person won't marry me, then "So be it. Farewell, cruel TInk!" will be my immediate last words. :p

"Life has no value. Neither do I. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
*Dies, preferably setting off a bomb in some place of political importantance.*

I want to die dramaticly after getting a mortal wound (this constitutes walking around bleeding profusely) from killing you before you set off the bomb :D

It would be funnier if he was Catholic!

Hehehe... Unfortunately for the humour of it, I'm not.

After a long list of farewells to my concubines, girlfriends, fuck buddies, and other hangers-on...

"...And to my creditors: Ha Ha!"

"it was Lady Scarlet in the Gardens with the Lead Pipe... agh"

keep my dreem alive of a united world.

"Guys, guys, I just solved world hunger!"

"See, velociraptors can be tamed!"

"You know what would be really ironic right now?"

"You put what in the kool-aid?"

"Silly man, you only dress up as a ghost on halloween! And that flaming cross looks dangerous..."

"Now, we add formula x to formula y..."

"My rocket ship isn't flimsy! Duct tape and PVA glue will stick anything!"

"Up, up, and away!"

"Anything Lunatic Goofballs can do, I can do better!"

*in a synagogue*
"Anyone want to join my Hitler fan club? You get free armbands!"

*in fundamentalist church, flicking through Bible*
"Wow! Jesus was a rampant homosexual!"

"20000000000 to 1, I like those odds. :sniper: :mp5: :gundge: :sniper: :mp5:
*gunned down in 3 seconds*

"Trust me; I saw them do it on TV."

*Life flashes before eyes*
"That's it? That sucks..."

"Make sure my body doesn't go to the necroph..."

"If you cremate me I will haunt your ass"

"Pick a number 1-10. Ok, you get the house and jack gets my stamp collection."

"If a little bit is good, a lot is better, right?"

"That was the best sex I have ever had in my life"

"But... we... beat the defenders..."

Good thing they repealed the estate tax. :D

"Death or Glor...

I shall open my eyes widely after just discovering the meaning of life, look towards the heavens, and say, in complete seriousness ... "But I thought BLONDES had more fun!"

Then, I shall be struck by lightning and die happy.

My last words will probably be something along the lines of "Who dares me to..." or "Dun' be schtoopid, 'simpossiblblble to have too mush aftershock" (seriously, once I did 3 shots of it and ended up cracking open my head in the pub bathroom, bleeding all over the place and getting concussion. I probably should have gone to A&E. If that's what just 3 shots can do, more are probably fatal).

"Now this, this is something I could die for..."

But one of my favourites that I've heard, is supposedly the last words of Pancho Villa:

"Don't let it end like this! Tell them I said something!"

"Kill 'em all"

Yeah, why not. One more is not going to kill me.

"If you don't change my underwear by the time the paramedics get here, I swear to God that I'll haunt you."

"Hnnn! My stomack!" *Splat* "Aliens are re...nnn.." *Dies as the chestburster runs off to start a colony on Earth*

"Nah! It's just a peacefull protest. That tank ain't gonna run me over"

"Whew! Bloody lucky those coppers aren't armed. Would be shit getting shot after killing a hundred boneheads"

Your Last Words

To the my wife/girlfriend or nurse whom cums first I would have to say.

Hey where's the cream filling ?

-Hold my beer and watch this...
-Nine? why not make it ten!
-didnt hurt...
-see? hes freindly...
(at a Slipknot concert)
- Bring out the rappin granny!!!
-Ooh! shiny red ball!

Ein Volk
Ein Reich
EIn Fuehrer
In a Synagouge of course.
I like this idea good thinking Taldaan

My last words will probably be something along the lines of "Who dares me to..." or "Dun' be schtoopid, 'simpossiblblble to have too mush aftershock" (seriously, once I did 3 shots of it and ended up cracking open my head in the pub bathroom, bleeding all over the place and getting concussion. I probably should have gone to A&E. If that's what just 3 shots can do, more are probably fatal).
What's "aftershock?" Never heard of it.

Suckers!


best i could come up with. I'll go now...


oooh, maybe that should be it!

its more of a last action than last words, but, i would take the tec-9 under my pillow and kill everyone in the room with the last of my strength. that is if i died of natural causes

What's "aftershock?" Never heard of it.
a nasty, nasty "spirit" in britain, generally used to get pissed, and quick.
i think its only 25%, but i swear there's other stuff in there too that makes it evil

http://www.elmwood.co.uk/cs-pics/cs-aftershock03.jpg


the blue one can easily be replaced with listerine mint mouthwash, by the way... always a laugh at parties, especially when you get someone riled up enough to down a bottle of "aftershock" ;)

What do you want your last words to be?
"Take care of each other and don't fight. We're all we've got."

a nasty, nasty "spirit" in britain, generally used to get pissed, and quick.
i think its only 25%, but i swear there's other stuff in there too that makes it evil

http://www.elmwood.co.uk/cs-pics/cs-aftershock03.jpg


the blue one can easily be replaced with listerine mint mouthwash, by the way... always a laugh at parties, especially when you get someone riled up enough to down a bottle of "aftershock" ;)
Sounds like a Zombie, with attitude! Heh!

Hmm, I like the money One.

"I hid a hundred thousand dollars (or whatever will be believed) for you. Its just underneath *Dies*"

What about your will?

"I leave *Guy I dont like* the contents of my septic tank."
"I leave my lawyer the contents of my drying machine's lint filter"
etc.

"May you all contract some disgusting skin disease."

I Love You!!!

That's the second biggest airborne thickness planer I've seen this month!

Last words? Thats simple.

"AH... FUCK!!"

My last words will not be words, per se, but will rather be a burst of demented laughter, after finally losing my tenous grip on insanity.

Oh man...that was Goooood!!!

Hey this is fun!

"Gather closer.... I leave my vast, vast , VAST fortune to.... aaargghh..."

Maybe people should actually read the previous posts so they don't just repeat the same thing ten times.

But "...fuck me harder!" is my favorite here.

However, I think that closure of life itself is not something really to be taken lightly. We can act like we would make it funny now, but I would really want it to be the wisest and most useful advice I could give.

"Well, that was pointless"

Thats the realistic one

"Hey guys, lets go play airsoft in that parking lot! Its dark, no one will notice us!"

Thats the...well, yeah.

How can you tell if it's loaded? *BANG*

"Gather closer.... I leave my vast, vast , VAST fortune to.... aaargghh..."
How about, "I leave my entire fortune to the Taco Bell dog!" :p

As long as that's not the cause of death. ;)

Of course, if a certain person won't marry me, then "So be it. Farewell, cruel TInk!" will be my immediate last words. :p
:p :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

"Hey...whats this button for?"

or...

"C'mon...whats the worst that could happen?"

My last word will be

"Se you all in the depths of hell, I hate you aaaaaa" :D

“You put what? In my WHAT?”
“My Halo Based Body armor will protect me”

No, it says don't drink cuz they want it all for themselves!

Oh Holy Fuck!

"Ofcourse i erased the summoning circle master, how else could i have gotten the Hellspawn to clean the study..."

I always though this was a joke but apparently it really happened with a British officer in the Crimean War:

"Don't worry men, everyone knows they couldn't hit an elephant at this range."

:D

"Now whos stupid?"

I probably won't have any last words. More than likely, I'll just raise my eyebrow inquisitively as my death approaches. I'm very boring that way.

"What do you call a fish with an umbrella?"

Hehe... that'd bug the hell out of everyone for years... and make sure that they all remember me ;)

"Well, that sucks!"

For my epitaph: You're too late.

My last words are probably gonna be "Well the computer isn't always right..."
*crashes into the sun*

"THERE'S TOO MANY Of THEM!"

"Insert last words here..... "
"This? Oh, it's just a novelty item. See? *presses detonate button on 'novelty' explosives* *explodes*

"I think it's sleeping."

"Go on, poke it with a stick, Barry!"



or




"Now walk up to the lion and slightly provoke it...."

"Trust me, I know what i'm doing"

"God I love Pure Metal, now just put me down......gentley."

"Catch me!"

"So this is crowd surfing...."

"God I love Pure Metal, now just put me down......gentley."

:D


i have visions of a 50 foot tall, ape-like me climbing the Empire State building with TInk in hand... go Pure Kong!

or should that be King Metal? :confused:

"NO (NO) SLEEP (SLEEP) TILL BROOKLYN (BROOKLYN)" *Dies of no sleep...

Actually I'd like something more of a "Hey who likes Bagels "*Toaster Explodes

Either

"REFUSED PARTY PROGRAM HARDCORE TECHNO MEGAMIX!!!! w000000!"

or

"LONG LIVE LEMON MERINGUE!"

"don't worry, i'll put out the flames with my massive beard!"

Famous Last Words

10. "I bet you fifty quid I can shoot myself in the face and survive."
9. "That hole’s not so deep."
8. "Hahaha! Driving down the wrong side of the motorway while drunk is great."
7. "Don’t be stupid. There’s no such thing as lions."
6. "Ooh, look - the snake wants a kiss!"
5. "This electric fire should make my bath water warmer..."
4. "Heh heh. They’ll never find me if I hide in this air-tight box."
3. "Auto-erotic asphyxiation is great!"
2. "Shut-up. I AM Superman. Just watch."
1. "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"


http://www.bubblegun.com/topten/1to10.html :D

"don't worry, i'll put out the flames with my massive beard!"
ROFL

"it was ....... fun ....... oh my"

"What the...."

"I really do hope that there is no God, or else I'm in big trouble...." ('cos I'm an atheist)

"No, I don't need help, I am perfectly able to climb down these stairs even if I don't see a thing because of all the stuff I'm carrying.."

In Manchester: " Go Celtic/Rangers!"

I told you I was sick.

I did it my way

"Does anyone know how to turn this thing off?"

"if i'm not back in 10 minutes, come in and get me you bastards"





"don't worry... this sunblock will protect us from that nuclear fireball!"

"it was ....... fun ....... oh my"

Continuing with this theme;

"From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."


Oo. Who else gets the references?

super-calafrajelistic-expi-aladocious

"Wow, what a fun ride it's been...say, do we get to go again?"

"I'm done now, thanks."

"Wow, what a fun ride it's been...say, do we get to go again?"
on same theme...



"fuck you! i don't need no stinkin safety harness on this ride!"

"Dont be stupid, they couldnt hit an elephant from that dist-"

"Dont be stupid, they couldnt hit an elephant from that dist-"

The actual last words of a Union general during the US Civil War, if I recall.

"Everyone wishes they would be me"

"I shalt defeat thee"

"Green..."

"A, E, I, O, and U are vowels"

"I commander Jibea the MXIII (1013) shalt use my innate Germanic, and/or Celtic power to destroy the sun! *Succeeds, but dies from being to strong*"

"If I can hit them, they can almost always hit me"

"Random Teddy attack."

"If you wish to pass, you must answer my questions three. 1: What is your legal birthname? 2. What does RNA stand for? And finally who would win in a fight, me or thee? (Person answers thee). Wanna test that out?"

"I see me."

The actual last words of a Union general during the US Civil War, if I recall.

I thought it was a british officer, but I might be wrong.

my own personal mantra:
"...punch it chewie."

"I regret NOTHING!" Heh, in all seriousness, though, I don't intend to say any last words. After all, what if they are? :p

Depends how I die:

1: So how can you tell if the saftey's on?
2: If they didn't want me to drink it they wouldn't put these little sippy caps on
2: I saw this in the movies once!
3: Where did I put the pin?
4: Is it gone?
5: Don't worry, Piranas only live much further south than here
6: Hey look! It's really fizzing now!
7: That is one big piano
8: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I ruined my life. Shit.

I'm not dead, I sw.....

Let my pickles go.

"pfft.... who needs oxygen underwater? i'l be fine! :rolleyes:"

Do you think i can make it into that little itty bitty pool down there
or
Trust me i know what i'm doing

And my favorite
So thats what toxic means

"ok... how much petrol do y'all recokon i can drink?"

*slow dramatic death*
OooOooohh...
They got me...
*fall to the ground clutching chest*
Hey Stan. Over here. I need to tell you something...
Give my love to Rose please won't you please, man.
Tell my boy his daddy's so proud of him.
... Tell him I will miss him so dearly...
Ow..
OoOoooOh..
.. And if you forget everything else,
Please just remember to do .. ow.. this...
.. Go to .. and..-
*fall down and take one last gasp at the air*
Gasp..

*jump up*
Hey, haha I got you there, didn't I?
Ha, you really believed I was dying didn't you, hahaha!
*Shot through the head by a random plane flying overhead*

Last words? Probably something like:

*gets shot twice*
"I'm O.K.!"
*gets shot again*
"I'm still O--"
*dies*

or:

"Oh **** he's real...."
*dies*
(This one would be if i'm surrounded by all my friends who know that I'm an atheist and that I never swear.)

What do you want your last words to be?

I've lived a long and eventful life.
Being 110 isn't that bad.
Never thought I'd make it to the year 2075.
Only 1% of space travelers have acci.

I'm the type of person to plan absolutely everything in advance: I never do anything before weighing every possible result and contingency. Therefore I think it'd be quite fitting if my death would be a result of a critical detail I overlooked, leaving me with a completely stunned look on my face saying...

"I missed it."

One-way on-l...ahhh

Thats in response to my driving skills in which ten minutes ago i discover doesn't actually exist.

Is that all you've got?

"It's only a flesh wound!"

Whats that red laser?

HOLY ****! ITS A NUKE!

Oh, the max doasage is 100 mg? i thought it was a 1000.

"With my last breath, I curse Zoidberggg...."

What do you want your last words to be?

Finally...

"With my last breath, I curse Zoidberggg...."
*claps*

"Dear Dr. Jerkberg, if you are reading this...." :p

"LETS DO THIS.... LEEEEROOOYYY JEEENNNKKKIIINNNSSSS!"

mine

"Helm! Prepare to engage in... the Picard Manuver!"

"Let's do the village! Let's do the whole ****ing village!"

"An emu is like an ostrich, but less of a jerk. See?"

Last words? Who cares! You're all just here to keep me amused.

When I die, there won't be any need for any of you so you'll all cease to exist.
:p
...

Well, just to keep you all happy. I'll stick with the traditional.. 'AAAARRRRRRRRrrRRrgghghghGHhghh.. **gurgle**'

-Jimus-

"Damn Swiss!"

"HERK-bleh!"

"Wow....."

"See, this is why they should put warnings on these things!"

"Bloody hell....."

"Oh fuck, it's just seaweed."

"Bring it on, bitch, I have a black belt in karate!"

What do you want your last words to be?
Seriously?

BIGTHATAMP.

"Blessed is God, through him all good things are made possible."

"no, don't put that there, it'll never come off! NO, GET IT AWAY FROM MY MOU-*indistinct noises*"

Oooh look lightning, i'm going swiming!

This is unbreakable glass, no matter how hard you run into it it'll never ever break. I made it myself, watch i'll show you.

My God ladies, that feels soooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooodddddddd...........

Wait, seriously-No one touch that buritto...

What the fuck was that all about?

Alright, whatever you do, don't-

Oh, you meant real acid...

What? Gator's are really just big frogs. You see where I'm goin' with this-it'll be great. Hold his head.

Yeah, I know where that is.

You can have my stereo. (I don't have a stereo)

You realize, of course, this means war.

Oh yeah?

I don't think you've got the guts.

I don't know what it is, grab the other end and pull.

Yeah, well. Wait 'til you find out what was in your drink.

Dude, he's not pissed. He's just playin'. Ain't that right, Simba?

What do you mean, 'Action?'

"Call it a Draw then?" [But only if locked in mortal combat]
"Led Zeppelin ruuuuuuuuuuuuules!"

If I die as a result of my own stupidity:
Hey, check this out!

These are all duds anyways...

<Stupefied silence>

If I die as a result of someone else's stupidity:
Wait, don't!

Now look what you've done!

If I die in bed at the ripe old age of 100:
I think I can hang on just a bit longer so I can see my grandkids one last...

Probably something like: "Come and get me, come and get me, come and get me!"

And on my deathbed, something like: "You guys are really swell. See you 'round."

I won't have any last words. My final statement will involve a satelite-video link, and me giving the finger to the Senate, White House and Chief Justices respectively.

I have a baaad feeling about this...

"LETS DO THIS.... LEEEEROOOYYY JEEENNNKKKIIINNNSSSS!"

mine
:eek: :eek: why didn't i think of that?! :p

you, sir, win a cookie :D

For my tombstone, I want it to say "He died the way he lived. Lying down a lot"

I'd have that, but take the down out of it.

"Bob for apples? Real men bob for pihranas!"

To wife/girlfriend:
"One last kiss... before..."
*kisses*
"Ha! It was contagious! You have a week to live!"

"Using only the power of my mind, I can stop bullets."

"Deadly radiation never hurt anyone."

"Hey, if I drink this radioactive spider venom and expose myself to gamma rays at the same time, I will become the ultimate superhero! Spiderhulk!"

*points at the men in suites standing in front of me*
"I knew it, I was right, it was all a government conspiration, you silly kids trix is for rab" *is shot*

:D

Damn! I knew I should have loaded my shotgun!

"I'd just like you all to know that I really enjoyed being alive. I especially enjoyed fucking and going to the movies."

*dies*

"Bloody hell! Not again?!"

How about "Global Warming? What Global Warming? You can't prove it!"
*then slowly melts away*

joke one: of course it;s safe, i saw it on tv
serious one: i tried by hardest (its on my moms cousins gravestone cuz he was killed in the vietnam war, so this is in honor of him, a largely forgot person i guess)

in a gym: "Is it true that all bodybuilders are gay?"

"I told you I was sick!"

Death and Glory! :mp5:

in a gym: "Is it true that all bodybuilders are gay?"
Nah, that'll only get you hospitalized. Substitute bodybuilders with coppers, and you'll be dead as can be ;)

"THERE'S TOO MANY Of THEM!"
:cool: I want to die do anything where I have good reason to scream that. :p

"Are you crazy? That won't hurt me!"

Someone: "Er...you're holding it by the wrong e--"
Me: "Quiet!" *takes aim*

"It seems so quiet here..."

":upyours: you!"

"I know I can survive just long enough to get to that- *dies*"

"Nyah nyah nyah! You can't get me!"

Id rather hang myself than welcome Czardas back
*Dies*

Id rather hang myself than welcome Czardas back
*Dies*
*lowers smoking shotgun*


Not bad! :D

*lowers smoking shotgun*


Not bad! :D
I try.
Not really
"No Marge trying is the frst step to failure"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v630/harlesburg/Rogernomics.bmp

Has anyone replied "Rosebud" yet?

I'd like it to be "burn all my money" just to dissapoint anyone waiting for said money, but it'll probably be more along the lines of "What does this button do?"

ok I have a better one:
"Well if I'm wrong let Anubis (or some other random weird god) kill me where I stand!"

Allegedly happened to my grandfather in a civil court case (long before I was born). I don't know who had sued whom, but the other guy was apparently lying through his teeth and extremely agitated. Finally he exclaimed, "let God strike me down if it is not the truth!"
After the case closed, the man walked out and died of a heart attack on the front porch of the court building. My grandfather was in a mild state of shock for the next few days, according to the story.

I'm atheist/agnostic myself, but I have to admit that's unsettling.

---

Oh, and for my own last words:

"Ah well, here goes." If I die from illness that is.

Hmmm my last words. I guess mine would be. "Well we're on final now, all we got to do now is land this baby....."

"Boba Fett?! Where?!"

"If we were racing to heaven, I'd be winning."

"If we were racing to heaven, I'd be winning."

I just realized that that could work in two ways: me lying on my deathbed, saying it to my loved ones as a way of lightening the mood and reminding everyone that death isn't really as bad as we often think, or me shouting it into a room full of very touchy, well armed athiests.

I got some more.

"Hmmm what happens if I do this..."

"What does this do..."

"IF I do this, will it hurt?"

I've also decided that, in the unlikely event that I choose to commit suicide, it will be by throwing myself from the top of a building. My suicide note will be as follows:

Q: A man (80kg) throws himself from atop a building (20m), what is his velocity just before hitting the ground?

A: v^2=v(0)^2 + 2ad
v^2=0 + 2(9.8)(20)
v=sqrt(392)
v=approx. 20 m/s

Wouldn't that be creepy?

I've also decided that, in the unlikely event that I choose to commit suicide, it will be by throwing myself from the top of a building. My suicide not will be as follows:

Q: A man (80kg) throws himself from atop a building (20m), what is his velocity just before hitting the ground?

A: v^2=v(0)^2 + 2ad
v^2=0 + 2(9.8)(20)
v=sqrt(392)
v=approx. 20 m/s

Wouldn't that be creepy?
actually, yes, that would :eek:

"Goodnight Brixton Academy"

A guy can dream eh?

My last words...
..........fuck...........

Add the kinetic energy and calculate the resulting entropy change of his body, and it'd be *really* creepy.

Kinetic energy (just before hitting the ground) would be

KE=0.5mv^2
=0.5(80)(20)^2
=16000 J

I don't know how to do the entropy thing.

Add the kinetic energy and calculate the resulting entropy change of his body, and it'd be *really* creepy.

I've thought of another one:

*to a pack of greedy money-hungry relatives, on my deathbed* And I've decided what to do with my money -- I've burned it all.

"Oh fuck, you pressed the red button, didn't you?"

Or, in a less PC way:

"DERKA DERKA JIHAD!"

Hmm... last words aye?

I would like it to be the same words that Walt Disney said when he was dying, which is "Damn Jews"

But, thinking logically, I would probably say "High speed manerfanator" Just to confuse the hell out of people.