NationStates Jolt Archive


Famous Last Words

Verghastinsel
29-07-2005, 16:07
These needn't be actual quotes, I'm just aiming for general last words.

"He's just one man!" - Faceless Thug #44
The Abomination
29-07-2005, 16:11
"Why does that scroll just say HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR...." - Anonymous HP Lovecraft Protagonist.

"Its ALWAYS the red wire" - Amateur bomb disposal expert.

"Vodka and Whisky are both grain based alcohol, right? So drinking them in a mixed pint shouldn't be that bad, right?" - Me. These have passed from "Famous" to "Legendary" Last Words.
Megaloria
29-07-2005, 16:14
I'd imagine that some of the most commonly used ones are among these:

"Oops"

"Oh, shit"

"Woooooooooooo!"

"What does this do/mean?"
Culex
29-07-2005, 16:16
"My precious...."-Gollum/Smeagol
Potaria
29-07-2005, 16:17
"Don't worry, man. We can make it... It's just a 10-foot gap!" --- Unknown Mountaineer

"Pfff, it's just a bed of nails. Magicians do this all the time." --- Novice Magician

"Meh, sucking septic sludge isn't gonna hurt me. I want my money, you bastard." --- Anonymous idiot on a bet
Lurdock
29-07-2005, 16:19
"Tell them I said something witty." - Pancho Villa

On topic, anyone who thinks "my precious" is a cool phrase needs shooting.
Skippydom
29-07-2005, 16:21
"17 tyenol in 10 minutes thats your record? easily beat..." young and stupid people

"Might as well call the coroner now" some jerk
Megaloria
29-07-2005, 16:22
"You cannot...destroy...my....DESTINY!" - Unicron
Laerod
29-07-2005, 16:23
"Don't worry, he's probably even more scared of us than we are of him." - This usually involves two people and either an animal (or a cop)
"Here, poke it with a stick to make sure it's dead." - Another animal (or cop) situation
"Right, now this I wanna see." - Works best in martial arts classes, pyrotechnics, zoology
"Look Charles! The natives are so glad to see us they've prepared a warm bath!" - Explorers meeting a friendly tribe of cannibals
"Just give it one more whack with the circus mallet." - Me, actually, building a dock. I got flung into the pond as the dock collapsed.
Dancing Penguin
29-07-2005, 16:28
"It's alright! I saw them do this on Fear Factor/Jackass!" Some foolish person

"Who needs helmets. They look stupid." Some "cool" kid
The horny gollach
29-07-2005, 16:39
"I'm sure that's the right path" an apprentice guide
Laerod
29-07-2005, 16:39
"Are we there yet?"
"Can I have that?"
"Cool! I've always wanted to try out one of these!"
"Is it poisonous?"
"Well, if you say it's alright, I'm going to trust you!"
"Do you want to talk about God?"
"No, I don't want to talk about God."
"Just... one... more... dune... to... the... oasis..."
"Is that a piano that vulture is carrying?"
"If it wasn't safe, could I do this?"
Megaloria
29-07-2005, 16:41
"My, what a lovely giant wooden horse!"
Interesting Slums
29-07-2005, 16:41
The tradition ones of

"Hey, Look at this/me"

or

"I bet I could do that"

Darwin Awards (http://www.darwinawards.com), always a good source of stupid people doing stupid things
Unionista
29-07-2005, 16:41
I'd imagine that some of the most commonly used ones are among these:

"Oops"

"Oh, shit"

"Woooooooooooo!"

"What does this do/mean?"

I remember reading the Army Training Review or some such erudite publication in around 1989, and there being a report on someone who managed to shoot himself in the head with a Browning 9mm whose last words were along the line of "Oh shit, I didn't expect that to happen"

My other favourite last line is from General Sedgewick in the US Civil War
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist"
Grampus
29-07-2005, 16:43
"Don't worry, they can't hit an elephant at this distance."

Gen. John Sedgewick
1864
Grampus
29-07-2005, 16:44
My other favourite last line is from General Sedgewick in the US Civil War
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist"


Ah, pipped to the post.
Laerod
29-07-2005, 16:44
I remember reading the Army Training Review or some such erudite publication in around 1989, and there being a report on someone who managed to shoot himself in the head with a Browning 9mm whose last words were along the line of "Oh shit, I didn't expect that to happen"

My other favourite last line is from General Sedgewick in the US Civil War
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist"I remember reading a statistic about how many army personnel had gotten seriously injured or killed while mishandling vending machines...
Wumprutting
29-07-2005, 16:49
"Don't let it end like this; tell them I said something."

Not witty.
Unionista
29-07-2005, 16:51
Ah, pipped to the post.

Not to be picky, but isn't "at this dist" the actual quote?

Pip Pip :D
Unionista
29-07-2005, 16:52
I remember reading a statistic about how many army personnel had gotten seriously injured or killed while mishandling vending machines...

That'd be the US Army. We didn't have vending machines, we didn't have anything to vend. All we had was the NAAFI tea wagon :D
Angelicia
29-07-2005, 17:00
'Melting, melting...oh, what a world...' -Witch of the West/East(?), Wizard of Oz.
'Dying is easy, comedy's hard.' -Miscellaneous quote I heard once.

There was one really good one that I can't remember now, but I think it was by Spike Milligan or someone, anyone know it:confused:?
Unionista
29-07-2005, 17:02
'Melting, melting...oh, what a world...' -Witch of the West/East(?), Wizard of Oz.
'Dying is easy, comedy's hard.' -Miscellaneous quote I heard once.

There was one really good one that I can't remember now, but I think it was by Spike Milligan or someone, anyone know it:confused:?

Isn't Spike's Gravestone engraved with "I told you I was ill"
Laerod
29-07-2005, 17:03
That'd be the US Army. We didn't have vending machines, we didn't have anything to vend. All we had was the NAAFI tea wagon :DIt was still funny to think they keep statistics about it... Imagine the last words:
"Look! That candy bar looks like it'll fall if I push hard enough!"
Verghastinsel
29-07-2005, 17:05
It was still funny to think they keep statistics about it... Imagine the last words:
"Look! That candy bar looks like it'll fall if I push hard enough!"

More like trying to kick through the glass. And lacerating your feet.
BenAucoin
29-07-2005, 17:06
"This will prove the validity of Keynesian economics once and for all!"
Jibea
29-07-2005, 17:08
"Ah, it hurts!!!"-Charles DeGuale (the french WW2 guy)
Angelicia
29-07-2005, 17:09
Isn't Spike's Gravestone engraved with "I told you I was ill"
Yeh that'll be it :)
Great old dude that Spike Milligan :cool:
Botswombata
29-07-2005, 17:09
"I would like to quote from the immortal words of Socrates when he proclaimed, I drank what?"
Real Genius
Intangelon
29-07-2005, 17:13
Some fiction and some fact:

"Are you sure this chef knows how to prepare fugu?"

-- Overheard in a Japanese restaurant some minutes before the ambulance.

"I drank what?"

-- Socrates, as "quoted" by Val Kilmer in Real Genius.

"The bulges in that can of beans? Oh, that's just where someone dropped it."

-- A fool unfamiliar with botulism.

"Never go in againtht a Thithillian when death is on the line!"

-- Vizzini, via William Goldman in The Princess Bride...the BOOK (read it!).

"Hey you stupid bitch, I said vanilla, not bitter almond..."

-- Anonymous asshole wife-beater getting his just "desserts".

"Jefferson lives..."

-- Fmr. Pres. John Adams, incorrect by five hours, 4 July 1826.

"My work is done. Why wait ?"

-- George Eastman, US inventor and industrialist (Eastman-Kodak); suicide note 1932.
Laerod
29-07-2005, 17:19
More like trying to kick through the glass. And lacerating your feet.I'm pretty sure the article I read mentioned something about some of them being crushed... Don'T you ever try to shake a vending machine to get that loose candy bar?
Perimeter Defense
29-07-2005, 17:22
"And AC said, 'LET THERE BE LIGHT!'
"And there was light --"
---The Last Question, Asimov
Greater Minitopiary
29-07-2005, 17:27
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known." -Sydney Carton
Unionista
29-07-2005, 17:57
I'm going out now, I may be some time.

Captain Oates
Irico
29-07-2005, 18:29
I read somewhere that the most common last words of most dying soldiers is "mommy" or "mother" or calling out to Mom.

I've always been partial to the last words written on a cave wall: "the Holy Grail can be found in the city of...aaaarrrrgh" - Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

(i know i misquoted that line from the cave scene. Feel free to state it correctly and consider mine a paraphrase)
Crapulia
29-07-2005, 18:48
one of my friends told me that its a proven fact that the most common words said before someone dies are "oh f**"

the other very common one was something along the lines of "goodnight darling i'll see you in the morning"
Crapulia
29-07-2005, 18:55
didnt some idiot get shot in the head by a sniper after taking his helmet off in saving private ryan or something? :confused:
Skippydom
29-07-2005, 19:13
"Look its Kkkkkkkevin coming to kkkkkkkkill me" but then he didn't actually die...odd
Andaluciae
29-07-2005, 19:17
"They couldn't hit an elephant from this dist...*

A British Officer struck down by a sniper.
Latouria
29-07-2005, 19:45
My favorite last words are Salvador Allende's last radio address to the people of Chile, before they took out his antenna:

"Workers of my homeland, I have faith in Chile and its future. Other man will overcome this dark and bitter moment when treason is trying to be uppermost. You must continue to know that, sooner rather than later, grand avenues will be opened where free men go to build a better society."
"Long live Chile, long live the people, long live the workers."
"These are my last words, certain that the sacrifice will not be in vain. I am sure that there will be at least a moral sanction to punish the felony, cowardice and treason."
-Salvador Allende, Sept. 11, 1973.
Demo-Bobylon
29-07-2005, 19:49
"They couldn't hit an elephant from this dist...*

A British Officer struck down by a sniper.

Actually it was General Sedgewick in the American Civil War.

[/smugness]
[NS]Ihatevacations
29-07-2005, 19:57
Augustus Gloop: Mmm, this is terrific

Violet Beauregarde: It's the most marvelous blueberry pie that I've ever tasted!

Veruca Salt: I want it now-

Mike Tevee: Look at me; I'm gonna be the first person in the world to be sent by television!
Republiquefrancaise
29-07-2005, 20:05
"Something's stuck in the toaster. Hand me a fork..."
Saxnot
29-07-2005, 20:32
"Don't worry, they can't hit an elephant at this distance."

Gen. John Sedgewick
1864
you know those weren't actually his last words? he walked off after syaing that and got shot a bit later.
Lunatic Goofballs
29-07-2005, 20:48
"Great seats aren't they Mary? Ow!" -Abraham Lincoln.

"300 feet or cord should do it." -Deceased bungee jumper.

"You put down that shotgun or you'll be grounded for a month!" -The Menendez brothers' father.

"SHould the wing be burning like that?" -COlumbia Astronaut.

"I always come back! But dying is such a bitch!" -Chucky (Bride of Chucky)

"All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia." -W.C. Fields' epitaph

"The body of B. Franklin, Printer (Like the Cover of an Old Book Its Contents torn Out And Stript of its Lettering and Gilding) Lies Here, Food for Worms. But the Work shall not be Lost; For it will (as he Believ'd) Appear once More In a New and More Elegant Edition Revised and Corrected By the Author." -Benjamin Franklin's epitaph
Hoos Bandoland
29-07-2005, 20:55
From the movie, "Sheena, Queen of the Jungle."

"I'm dying, and all I can think of to say is ... 'Oh shit!'"
Eutrusca
29-07-2005, 20:58
These needn't be actual quotes, I'm just aiming for general last words.
"Oh, God! Here I go!" Actual last words by a dying man.
The Similized world
30-07-2005, 02:06
Last words of Oscar Wilde:

"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do"
Bonferoni
30-07-2005, 02:52
either the person dying says this to someone in the room or it is engraved on the tombstone
"You're next."
Krytenia
30-07-2005, 03:01
The advantage of learning the lingo:

"'Achtung: Minefeld' - That's German for 'Welcome To Munich', right?"
Super-power
30-07-2005, 03:08
"I make the impossible possible!"
-Mu LaFlaga; defending the Archangel before he and his crippled Gundam are engulfed by a positron cannon blast
Ritlina
30-07-2005, 03:12
"Come on, i can take you!" Last words of a soon to be decapitated thug in Manhunt
Verghastinsel
30-07-2005, 03:16
"Hey, Tommy! Look at these pirhanas!" - Faceless Thug #256, shortly before being thrown into pirhana tank

I play too much Punisher. Me want Manhunt. Kill with plastic bags. Yum.
Boonytopia
30-07-2005, 03:19
You week kneed bandits don't scare me at all, I'll feed your arse my boot. (From Baldurs Gate, can't remember who says it.)
Robonic
30-07-2005, 03:20
"Hi snakey, your cute...."-Random Stupid Three Yr. Old
CthulhuFhtagn
30-07-2005, 03:34
"Is that a piano that vulture is carrying?"
The Far Side rules.

As for my contribution...

"Oh shit."
"I love you sarge."
-Pvt. Lester and an unidentified Sargeant, shortly before being torn apart by a Hydralisk on Mar Sara
The Gaelic Empire
30-07-2005, 03:38
"miller lite is better than bud lite?NOOOOOOOOOooo*gasps**dies*:drunk man.

"go on with out me":hero on a movie
"ok ty"the heroes supposed friend

"the light,the light....turn off that stupid light already"

"im terribly burned please i need medical attention,please im still alive*gets shot by Dr.Evil's Henchman*owwwww you shot my eye,please help me,*shot again*..........*cricket chirps*:austin powers 1

"*coughs*stupid cough drop":idiot

"OOOoooo pretty colors*walks off cliff trying to touch Northern Lights*:idiot#2
Krakozha
30-07-2005, 03:41
Wooooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! - Bungi jumper with broken cord
Ritlina
30-07-2005, 03:48
you sure i wont choke on this? Candi Suxx