NationStates Jolt Archive

Alright. This isn't about swapping erotic stories (not because I don't want to, mind you), but rather about how men and women (and transgendered people, I'm not leaving you out!) view sex, and how men and women think that the opposite sex view, um...sex. We're talking gendered views, stereotyped, personal beliefs...but any facts you can find on the subject would also be welcome! What are the differences and similarities in views, and what do you think might cause them?

Ok. I'll start out with a stereotype...the one that men don't care about forming relationships with women, they just want to have sex with as many as possible.

...how men and women (and transgendered people, I'm not leaving you out!) view sex, and how men and women think that the opposite sex view, um...sex...



I think this addresses it to a degree:

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Ok. I'll start out with a stereotype...the one that men don't care about forming relationships with women, they just want to have sex with as many as possible.

Aye.

No, I'm just kidding. I'm one of those relationship types. :p

Ok. I'll start out with a stereotype...the one that men don't care about forming relationships with women, they just want to have sex with as many as possible.
My take on this one

A bit off … I feel we just more separate the physical and mental portions of a relationship … we have the drive and the ability to take the physical separate (and engage in that more often sometimes) but we also have the emotional tie component

So I guess not a direct rebuttal but rather a “different light”

Now mine
Women do not care about the sex its only a means to an end
(hard to state something like this I start arguing with myself about my own generalizations even when I know I am supposed to be stating a common “view” not my own lol)

Well, for stereotypes, there is always the emo kid deluxe:

Women aren't attracted to nice guys, they are attracted to looks, money, and jerks.

Ok. I'll start out with a stereotype...the one that men don't care about forming relationships with women, they just want to have sex with as many as possible.

I've heard it stereotyped this way: "men love SEX" and "women LOVE sex".

My take on this one

A bit off … I feel we just more separate the physical and mental portions of a relationship … we have the drive and the ability to take the physical separate (and engage in that more often sometimes) but we also have the emotional tie component

So I guess not a direct rebuttal but rather a “different light” Whereas, I know for me personally, sex is very mental, and I can't separate the physicality from the mentality of it. Though sadly, after years of stupid blindness on my part, I've realised it can be just as damn mental for men too...that arousal doesn't mean AROUSAL :( Sorry guys. Duh!

Now mine
Women do not care about the sex its only a means to an end
(hard to state something like this I start arguing with myself about my own generalizations even when I know I am supposed to be stating a common “view” not my own lol)

I didn't know men thought things like that. Wow, you learn something new every day. I happen to care very much about the sex, it has to be satisfying, it has to mean something (be it raw, one time passion or deep commitment, both are valid) and it is pretty impotant in a long-term relationship, it needs to be creative and interesting. What exactly is meant by "means to an end"? I don't want to respond before I have clarification on that!

As for something I've heard about men's opinion of sex, well, there's the old chestnut about not understanding how lesbians have sex "How do they know when it's finished?"

One night, a night I will never forget, I brought this chick back to my place. It was REALLY hot, so we both took our clothes off. Ya and then, of course, we baked a cake together (geez you've all got a perverted mind). After that we ate the cake together in silence, while I occasionally looked at her breasts, although the cake was more interesting. Then, I went to the bathroom (dammit, you have a dirty mind) and then watched some tv in the living room, while she did laundry. Then after a while, she put her clothes back on, we kissed and she left for the night. If that isn't erotic, I don't know what is..... Later on, I discovered we should have had sex. Funny things like that evade you at times.

One night, a night I will never forget, I brought this chick back to my place. It was REALLY hot, so we both took our clothes off. Ya and then, of course, we baked a cake together (geez you've all got a perverted mind). After that we ate the cake together in silence, while I occasionally looked at her breasts, although the cake was more interesting. Then, I went to the bathroom (dammit, you have a dirty mind) and then watched some tv in the living room, while she did laundry. Then after a while, she put her clothes back on, we kissed and she left for the night. If that isn't erotic, I don't know what is..... Later on, I discovered we should have had sex. Funny things like that evade you at times.

hahahaha :D

Ah Sinuhue, why is it always about men vs. women with you?

Whereas, I know for me personally, sex is very mental, and I can't separate the physicality from the mentality of it. Though sadly, after years of stupid blindness on my part, I've realised it can be just as damn mental for men too...that arousal doesn't mean AROUSAL :( Sorry guys. Duh!
Of course it is amental thing for men. Why did you ever assume otherwise? Because you were fed propaganda about men being a bunch of apes with only the shallowest experience of sex? Disgraceful.