NationStates Jolt Archive


Are you a lady or a real woman?

Cabra West
25-07-2005, 20:24
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while
it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and
will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."


Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are
cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me,
The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it
and I don't care how bad it tastes."


****************************************************************


Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in
half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will
go away.


Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill
and drink. You might still have the headache, but who
cares?


**************************************************************


Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom
of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.


Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom
of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying
on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.


*******************************************************************

> >
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple
in the bag with the potatoes.


Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it
in the pantry for up to a year.


********************************************************************


Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the
baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and
there won't be any white mess on the inside of the
cake.


Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate
it for you.


******************************************************************


Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust
before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.


Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not
include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just
don't do it.


********************************************************************


Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using
latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip
that makes opening jars easy.


Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do
it.


*******************************************************************


And finally the most important tip....


Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and
sauces.


Real Women - Leftover wine??


************************************************************


Remember: A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
[NS]Ihatevacations
25-07-2005, 20:30
Remember: A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
It was funny until that
Ashmoria
25-07-2005, 20:47
Ihatevacations']It was funny until that
struck too close to home eh?
Laerod
25-07-2005, 21:13
Hm... I was always under the impression that ladies were the ones with servants to do all the menial tasks... things just ain't the way they used to be...
[NS]Ihatevacations
25-07-2005, 21:15
struck too close to home eh?
no, its retarded. If I ever hear some one actually say it, I will feel compelled to strangle them. Its like git'r'done, its overused and excessively cliche to begin with

enjoy your goat stew?
Willamena
26-07-2005, 17:57
Remember: A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
Don't listen to them; this is the best one. ;)
Kryozerkia
26-07-2005, 18:08
Don't forget - real women also burp and fart.

:D how many can burp on command?
Spazmotic
26-07-2005, 20:07
:D How many can funny fart on command?
The Czardaian envoy
26-07-2005, 20:20
I'm neither. I'm a guy! :D
Neo Rogolia
26-07-2005, 20:47
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while
it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and
will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."


Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are
cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me,
The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it
and I don't care how bad it tastes."


****************************************************************


Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in
half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will
go away.


Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill
and drink. You might still have the headache, but who
cares?


**************************************************************


Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom
of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.


Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom
of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying
on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.


*******************************************************************

> >
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple
in the bag with the potatoes.


Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it
in the pantry for up to a year.


********************************************************************


Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the
baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and
there won't be any white mess on the inside of the
cake.


Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate
it for you.


******************************************************************


Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust
before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.


Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not
include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just
don't do it.


********************************************************************


Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using
latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip
that makes opening jars easy.


Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do
it.


*******************************************************************


And finally the most important tip....


Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and
sauces.


Real Women - Leftover wine??


************************************************************


Remember: A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"



LOL!!!! That was great!!!! I suppose I'm either a lady or a real woman depending upon what mood I'm in when I'm cooking :D (Dad: You kind of burned the sauce.... Me: JUST EAT IT!!!!!)