NationStates Jolt Archive

I will take a minute to imagine I am transgendered... a woman who identifies as male.

Let's say, today, I'm taking a standardized test at school. Immediately, a problem presents itself: I must decide which bubble to fill in, male or female. Eventually, more out of frustration and anger than anything, I fill out both.

As a woman, I am attracted to other women, and therefore homosexual. As a man attracted to women, I am heterosexual. So, what would one say my sexual orientation is?

Also, pronouns... am I referred to as "he", "she", or do we invent a new one?

I also have a difficult decision to make: should I get "the surgery"? Will I be more or less discriminated against if I decide to do so?

What I am trying to say is, it can't be easy being transgendered, or transsexual. I don't think society really allows for it. I don't think anyone even wants to confront the controversy, specifically the media. I don't think people want to accept that our generally accepted definition of "sex" or "gender" is now insufficient for the issues we face today.

I'd also like to know how the transgendered/transexual individuals on this board deal with these dilemmas. It seems to me it would be difficult even on a day-to-day basis.

Well, to answer the first question - what is our place in society, I answer what could only be expected of me, the same as anyone else. One could very well ask the same question about women and non-whites, in their respective time to fight for equality.


To go into greater depth: From my experience, a transsexual person does not identify themselves as transsexual as their gender. I'm not going from man to Transsexual, am I? a third gender, therefore, would be inaccurate.

As far as sexual orientation goes... sexual orientation is in the mind, as it were, and gender is in the mind. As such, surely if someone feels they are male, and feels attracted to women, they are heterosexual, no? Society, today, puts too much emphasis in whats between our legs, and not enough on what's between our ears.


Same again for people who say "it won't change who you are, you're a man/woman"


Well first of all, no TS person, again that I'm aware of actually believes that it's the op that will change them, mentally. In my mind, I'm already female. So the op is just bringing my body into harmony. it's not changing my mind any! Secondly, I doubt those people would feel the same if they were suddenly lumbered with the genitals of the opposing gender. It's so easy to make blanket statements like that, but when inquired, so often I see people fall back to religous or uninformed personal beliefs held out of a complete lack of experience.


Zotona: you mention you are interested in seeing how a TS person deals with these dilemnas. I wish I could answer you from a position of more experience, but outwith my close family/friends, who all supportme, I have no idea how to deal with the discrimination TS people feel on a daily basis.

I would be happy to answer any questions you may have however.

You know, I'd really like to apologize if that title or anything in that post sounded ignorant... it's because I am.

It's easy for me to picture myself as lesbian... quite honestly, I don't think that would be a huge stretch for me. I can see myself in those shoes... I have enough information to (I think) understand who I would be if I were in that category.

However, I can't imagine identifying as another gender. Even if I had been born male, I don't think I would be transgendered. It's difficult, perhaps even impossible for me to comprehend it. I really don't have anything to go on... it's frustrating, really. I really have a very devout belief that people should learn to love and accept themselves the way they are, that everyone is born beautiful in their own way.

Then, I always have to wonder, honestly, how could anybody wish to be female, seriously desire and actually decide to become a woman? It's not exactly easy, even if you didn't happen to be born with a penis and the world's misunderstanding of your true gender. I certainly didn't choose to be a woman, and if I could have chosen (before birth) not to be one, I probably would have done so, yet I feel so much... I guess the word would be... loyality... to my womanhood. So, if I hadn't had been born female, I definitely would have chosen to be male. It makes no sense whatsoever, at least to me, and yet I won't deny my emotions.

oh, I take no offence at anything that was said.

To begin to answer... I'll try and give a personal opinion on it. whenever I seemingly make a blanket and sweeping statement, only apply it to me, I'm being lazy with language. (probably won't make such an error now.)

For me, my body is secondary to my mind. This in itself makes it seem unimportant to me, but that's not what I'm trying to say. You say that people should learn to love and accept themselves the way they are. As far as, mentally, I am concerned, I do. it may be odd... but sometimes I am glad for this. It gives me a rare perspective of things - it has made me who I am today, and I like that person, I wouldn't give it up for the world. I wouldn't be "me" if I had just been born as a woman. I'd be a totally different person. But as far as physicality goes, it's just wrong. out of place. Incorrect. You wouldn't want to be born with a colon that connects to your mouth, or your arms stuck behind your back, and if you could, you'd fix it. Sure you could accept and love yourself as you are, but that's irrelevant. You'd love and accept yourself just the same if you had a body that conformed to what you expect it to be. That is why I want hormones and surgery.It's not a matter of not being able to accept myself. it's a matter of it still being wrong, and so discordant to me anyway.


As for what you go onto say... I really can't answer you there. I don't know WHY I feel like I do (well I do, but if we're talking about why that occurs in the first place). I can only describe how it is. it has varying effects. Jealousy, anger, bitterness, plain dis-satisfaction. When I am outside, and I see a woman, I am overcome with jealousy. That life is all I want, they (and I do not talk about simply women here, but non dysphoric people as a whole) wear their body with ease because it fits. Such a simple thing to desire a body that at least approximates how you feel... to see it bandied about as if it were nothing just causes a pain.