NationStates Jolt Archive

When I become King of the World, which will be rather soon (as the Illumin--err, my friends, are seeing to that), I think I will establish a new force department called the Global Defence from Idiocy (G.D.I). They will be ruthless and unmerciful, unfailing in their duty.

What is their duty? Why, to seek out persons conduction acts of idiocy (mainly acts that potentially harm others--i.e. idiotic drivers), of course. There will be no tickets involved, no trial, and no judge. They will simply take the idiot in question and slap them a few across the face, tell them to stop being stupid, and let them carry on in their business (so long as it's not idiotic).

Of course, their act will be recorded in their files. Once one is charged with idiocy, it never comes off of their record. And yes, employers would have a right to refuse idiots employment. And if they conduct too many acts of idiocy, especially on the roads, the government would have the right to revoke their liscense to drive.

the G.D.I will be the most effective force out there. Stopping idiocy in its tracks will prevent further, and potentially more dangerous problems.

What will they be on the lookout for? Here's the beginnings of the list, so you may get an idea now, rather than have to wait for the beginnings of my rule:

-Driving too slow (i.e. anything below the speed limit, once one is fully accellerated)
-Not recognizing the "fast lane" (i.e. not going with the flow of all other cars in the left lane)
-Too slow of an accelleration (especially when merging into a highway, freeway, or interstate--one will be required to be going at least the speed limit of the highway upon merging)
-"King of the Road" driving (this entails going too fast, riding upon the asses of others, cutting in front of other vehicles with less than ten feet distance between cars, and swerving between lanes to "hop" places in a dangerous manner)
-Reckless street-crossing (i.e. not paying attention to oncoming traffic and the traffic lights--even when crossing on a designated area. Vehicles will always have the right-a-way on a green)
-Cycling on the street (will become prohibited. Designated cycling roads will be established and enforced)
-Walking/Boarding/Skating on the street (also prohibited, with designated roads being enforced)

These deal with the roads and driving systems. There will be other public displays of idiocy watched for.

Thank you for taking the time to recognize and submit yourselves to my rules before I establish them. All non-idiots will be treated with the upmost respect under my reign. Consider yourselves respected.

~Jaster, Holy Emperor of Romanore--soon to be the world.

Hail to Thee, My Lord!!
You are looking sharp; you know. You really are. You're my idol, you swell person, you. You light up my life. You give me hope to carry on. May I validate your parking? Yes, I'd love to. Say, I bet I could buy you the best lunch ever. Would you be so kind as to allow me to Turtle Wax your car? I'd be beyond happy to iron that crease in your slacks. Might I fluff your pillow? How 'bout a warm towel?...

How am I doing on the sucking up part, My Lord?
:D

That would be alright but you will be attacked by the cult of nincompoops or dumbasses (N.O.D). I think that your ideas may be good but N.O.D is a group of religious extremists that will stop at nothing to stop G.D.I and rule the world.
Anyway your punishments should be more severe. Maybe they should have guns and perform acts to help natural selection and make sure that social darwinism works in society.

Hail to Thee, My Lord!!
You are looking sharp; you know. You really are. You're my idol, you swell person, you. You light up my life. You give me hope to carry on. May I validate your parking? Yes, I'd love to. Say, I bet I could buy you the best lunch ever. Would you be so kind as to allow me to Turtle Wax your car? I'd be beyond happy to iron that crease in your slacks. Might I fluff your pillow? How 'bout a warm towel?...

How am I doing on the sucking up part, My Lord?
:D

Quite well. Keep this up and you may find yourself my personal aide--along with having all of the benefits, which may include a free subscription to NetFlix.

I don't think one can ever get enough kiss-assery. :p

Thou arest too kind!
harhar :D :D

That would be alright but you will be attacked by the cult of nincompoops or dumbasses (N.O.D). I think that your ideas may be good but N.O.D is a group of religious extremists that will stop at nothing to stop G.D.I and rule the world.
Anyway your punishments should be more severe. Maybe they should have guns and perform acts to help natural selection and make sure that social darwinism works in society.

I've taken N.O.D. into consideration for some time. Nincompoopery and dumbassery will both be completely outlawed, and anyone who can bring them in for punishment from the government will be rewarded handsomely. While they may not receive NetFlix subscriptions, any library fines or late rental fees shall be pardoned. Oh, and a wad of cash.

G.I.D. will have a special authority over N.O.D., using more extreme measures to wipe out their form of idiocy from this world. This may include, but not limited to: bitch slaps, hardcore algorithms on tape, monkey defecation, and a sweet trick named Butch to take home with them.

N.O.D. will be stopped. Rest assured.

That would be alright but you will be attacked by the cult of nincompoops or dumbasses (N.O.D). I think that your ideas may be good but N.O.D is a group of religious extremists that will stop at nothing to stop G.D.I and rule the world.
Ah, the good old days. Some crystalline tiberium, m'lord?

when you become king I will be the resistance leader.

When I become King of the World, which will be rather soon (as the Illumin--err, my friends, are seeing to that)...

BROTHER!!!

Ghost Stalker']when you become king I will be the resistance leader.

Are you advocating the freedom of idiocy, or the freedom from kings? Either way, no NetFlix subscription for you. :(

BROTHER!!!

Shh! Don't let it on so soon! *looks around and leans in to whisper* Tonight's word is "Parliamentarian". Seven sharp. You know where... *wink wink nudge nudge*

You know where... *wink wink nudge nudge*
On the set of Monty Python?

Know what I mean, eh? Say no more!

Ah, the good old days. Some crystalline tiberium, m'lord?
Oh yes, we need to analyze tiberium's properties that may be involved with male enhancement. There is a big market there and our studies may be the key to unlocking some of tiberium's secrets, such as "does tiberium increase sex drive?" and "can tiberium be used in condoms?" and the most important question "how can tiberium affect my car insurance?"

Hey, I had to comment about the N.O.D thing, I mean he did say G.D.I.

On the set of Monty Python?

Know what I mean, eh? Say no more!

Agh! Dammit, Longton! This is the second time that you've done this! Now we'll have to relocate. :headbang:

*mumbles incoherently about idiocy within the Brotherhood...*

Hey, I had to comment about the N.O.D thing, I mean he did say G.D.I.

I did, didn't I? ;)

Are you implying that you'd rather have a free supply of tiberium than NetFlix? :eek: I personally view that as silly, but if that's what you want...

Agh! Dammit, Longton! This is the second time that you've done this! Now we'll have to relocate. :headbang:

*mumbles incoherently about idiocy within the Brotherhood...*
*stops skipping in circles, finishes his song about how lovely puppies are*

Mmm, what? Sorry, I was trying to think. Not about anything, just think in general - thinking has evaded me for years.

*stops skipping in circles, finishes his song about how lovely puppies are*

Mmm, what? Sorry, I was trying to think. Not about anything, just think in general - thinking has evaded me for years.

Well, as long as you try. It's those who don't try at all that get to me.

I think you are underestimating the importance of tiberium. Just think of it: If someone acts stupid one time too many, just expose them to tiberium, and use the resulting visceroids to hunt down and exterminate the NOD troops. (you'd do so with style, too. just think of the nice, slimy sounds emmited whenever a NOD trooper is engulfed)

You could also expose your army to it and train some kickass mutant soldiers. :p

I think you are underestimating the importance of tiberium. Just think of it: If someone acts stupid one time too many, just expose them to tiberium, and use the resulting visceroids to hunt down and exterminate the NOD troops. (you'd do so with style, too. just think of the nice, slimy sounds emmited whenever a NOD trooper is engulfed)

You could also expose your army to it and train some kickass mutant soldiers. :p
Sod the visceroids - use tiberium feinds and the forgotten, coupled with the Ghost stalker. Boo yah.

Of course, if you are a member of the brotherhood, you could always get the cyborg commando to slaughter everything that moves.

ALERT: To All Idiots

This thread was posted to weed out all idiots so that, when the time comes, you will be eliminated! Do not respond or you will most certainly die a horrible, painful dea- DOH! Gotta run!

*is impaled upon a dunce hat*

ALERT: To All Idiots

This thread was posted to weed out all idiots so that, when the time comes, you will be eliminated! Do not respond or you will most certainly die a horrible, painful dea- DOH! Gotta run!

*adds to the Slap List* :mad:

Of course, if you are a member of the brotherhood, you could always get the cyborg commando to slaughter everything that moves.Until an ORCA Carryall suddenly drops a Mammoth Mk.II nearby, that is.

By the way, if you were to describe the sound tiberian fiends make when firing tiberium shards, the closeset I can think of using letters is "heheheheee". That must mean that they have a sense of humor. :D

The cyborg is cool, but you know what is so great about Nod? The burrowing stuff, especially the APCs. If an enemy does not have his silos guarded or some other weak spot, just send in engineers and such and take out a good chunk of his base.

GDI tends to have brute strength but I think that NOD wins on clever troops.