NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, so I was originally scheduled to have this weekend off, but my manager went and changed her mind. Since she deceided to not only screw up my weekend, but schedule me by myself for 4 hours (which is unreasonable in my department) I've deceided to hell with it, I'm not going.

So I need some convincing "I'm sick" ideas. I was thinking that since I'm working on Friday, I should have a bit of pre-sickness symptoms, then Saturday I call in claiming that I've been up all night due to the increasing terribleness of these symptoms and I'm still feeling shitty and can't come in. Then Sunday I will claim to be feeling a bit better, but not nearly 100%...

And then be recovered completely by Tues.

What illness should I fake? I was thinking claiming a digestional thing, say vomiting, as that's not something I can really work with, as I would have to run around to the bathroom all the time, and it's not something where I have to fake cough and pretend to have lost my voice. It's also something where it's reasonable to last 48 hours or so.

Food poisoning should work.

You're sick of work! :p

Well, if getting out of work is worth a few trips to the bathroom, dhiarrea is the way to go. Who wants somebody to be at work when they might shit their pants?

Food poisoning should work.Yeah, good idea...or say you have keratitis (inflammation of the cornea)...no-one will know what it means, it sounds impressive, and you can't very well work if you can't see, right? :D

Gee, I don't know... How about dropsy... maybe sudden-onset epilepsy... gall stones?... anal fissures?... the mind fairly boggles at the possibilities.

Say your not sure. "There seems to be a bug going around". Make sure you contort your face for most of the day and by the end of friday you should have made your voice miserable and depressing. Also spend long periods in the bathroom and hint that you may have thrown up.

It may help to cough on a few co-workers to make them resent you and be too preoccupied with purging your germs from their perfect bodies to question your mystery illness

Mad Cow disease is always a good one... But it involves acting while you 'have the disease' then you have to convince your boss that you've died... :D

Say your not sure. "There seems to be a bug going around". Make sure you contort your face for most of the day and by the end of friday you should have made your voice miserable and depressing. Also spend long periods in the bathroom and hint that you may have thrown up.

It may help to cough on a few co-workers to make them resent you and be too preoccupied with purging your germs from their perfect bodies to question your mystery illness
Are there any stomach illnesses (non-parasitic) that are contageous? I could claim that one of my roommates has been sick lately as I fall ill over the course of Friday.

Perhaps kinda stop what I'm doing here and there and pretend to have a huge stomach cramp or something..?
I'm also not opposed to getting out of work early on Friday... though that depends who I'm working with I guess, if it's my manager, I don't mind forcing her to stay longer, she's earned it with screwing up my weekend.

Calici virus is a good one. It has a rapid onset, and goes away after two days. Just what you need! (http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/gastro/faq.htm)

It's also very contagious, so you can't possibly go to work with it, because you care about your co-workers.

Calici virus is a good one. It has a rapid onset, and goes away after two days. Just what you need! (http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/gastro/faq.htm)

It's also very contagious, so you can't possibly go to work with it, because you care about your co-workers.
Beautiful!

Burn's Ameurosis is a good one to catch for a couple of reasons: 1) it's the loss of vision after sexual excess and 2) there's no such real illness, so it's easy to recover from it and have no lingering symptoms or it could come back if you overdo it again on the weekend.

Mad Cow disease is always a good one... But it involves acting while you 'have the disease' then you have to convince your boss that you've died... :DLMAO, that shouldn't be too hard; s/he already has no life! I mean, 7000+ posts? ;)

LMAO, that shouldn't be too hard; s/he already has no life! I mean, 7000+ posts? ;)
It's also 7000 posts over the course of two years.

LMAO, that shouldn't be too hard; s/he already has no life! I mean, 7000+ posts? ;)

Since May 2003. *looks at your join date* :eek:

Since May 2003. *looks at your join date* :eek:
lol

Since May 2003. *looks at your join date* :eek:LMAO! I at least am willing to note that I have no life. :)

And anyway, it isn't that big of a deal! It's only....uh.... *whips out calculator* ...31.29 posts a day....oh, nevermind. <_< >_>

Yeah, good idea...or say you have keratitis (inflammation of the cornea)...no-one will know what it means, it sounds impressive, and you can't very well work if you can't see, right? :D

There you are. I was wondering if someone finally offed you. :p

Yeah..Food poisoning sucks. Apparently, when I had it, I 1) Should've gone to the hospital, and 2)Ran a relatively decent risk of death by not doing so. Pffft.

Since May 2003. *looks at your join date* :eek:

I know..He's a bit scary, isn't he? Bloody bastard is everywhere on NS. Makes me even more paranoid. *looks around suspiciously*

LMAO! I at least am willing to note that I have no life. :)

And anyway, it isn't that big of a deal! It's only....uh.... *whips out calculator* ...31.29 posts a day....oh, nevermind. <_< >_>

What worries me is that you bothered calculating that. And that you probably have a self assigned quota to fill.

There you are. I was wondering if someone finally offed you. :pNo-one except a mod could ever do that. I was actually at the beach having fun. :)

I know..He's a bit scary, isn't he? Bloody bastard is everywhere on NS. Makes me even more paranoid. *looks around suspiciously*
Big Brother is watching you.... <_< >_>


What worries me is that you bothered calculating that. And that you probably have a self assigned quota to fill.Lmao, I once wanted to have at least 50 posts per day, but I've long since given up that goal. And this is only my 4th session today on NS. I've now started keeping track of my individual posts per day to see if I can cut down on my spamming. So far, the answer is no. ;)

No-one except a mod could ever do that. I was actually at the beach having fun. :)

Wait, wait, wait. You went outside?

Big Brother is watching you.... <_< >_>
*performs crude and indecent acts*

Lmao, I once wanted to have at least 50 posts per day, but I've long since given up that goal. And this is only my 4th session today on NS. I've now started keeping track of my individual posts per day to see if I can cut down on my spamming. So far, the answer is no. ;)
Yeah...You're a sad, sad creature.

Oh..Dakini..I don't suppose you wanna go for claiming to have been infected by the T-Virus, eh?

Wait, wait, wait. You went outside?
Shocked, aren't you? ;)

There were no interesting debates going on, my RPing partners have all gone on vacation, and most of the interesting posters were offline. So what did you expect me to do, sit around and eat Popsicles until I find an interesting thread? Anyway, I discovered that there is actually a world outside my desk, and it isn't actually that bad. In fact, it's rather nice. Sol was much brighter than I remembered it from many years ago, when I last saw it, and I would have gotten sunburned if it hadn't been for my omnipotent powers, which lessened the glare by creating a removable ultraviolet-blocking energy shield around my eyes, a.k.a. sunglasses. ;)


*performs crude and indecent acts*
*shocked*

Drache! I would have thought better of you! /me gasps

Yeah...You're a sad, sad creature.

No, I'm actually fairly happy right now. That means I'm not torturing the family members of as many people as I do when I'm in a bad mood. :D

Just tell your boss that you're sick. if he/she asks what's up, just tell him/her "you don't want to know the details." They will never ask for the details.