NationStates Jolt Archive

I've been going out with my girlfriend for 1yr and about 7 months, we're moving in together by the end of september - we're very much in love and we want to spend the rest of our lives together... I've been thinking about this for awhile and was just wondering what you guys thought... do you think I should propose?

If you really think it's the right thing to do, then go ahead!

Though I would suggest you live together for a while, at least a few months, before you do it.

If you really think it's the right thing to do, then go ahead!

Though I would suggest you live together for a while, at least a few months, before you do it.

Yeah, I was thinking that - I suppose she might get on my nerves after living with her - lol.....i hope not though ...

Yeah, I was thinking that - I suppose she might get on my nerves after living with her - lol.....i hope not though ...

Cross your fingers!

Haha

You're asking us? :eek:

I was going to vote yes in the poll, but I can't. This is your choice, only you know. If you feel you ought to good luck.

How old are you?

I, personally, would recommend waiting until you've lived together before getting married. I don't want to bring you down, but I've seen more than one relationship go kersplat! after living together for a year or so.

Ideally, you only want to do this once.
So, keeping that in mind, is this girl, the one you want to see every morning, for the rest of your life?

Is this the girl who you want to know everything about?
Like all her bad habits, obsessions, and fears?

Is this the woman, whos ass you want to help wipe when your old and feeble, and need help doing it?

If your not sure about any of these.....I say wait, and find out.

You will see the most annoying aspects of a person's character after living with them for about six months, as with roomies. If you can live with these quirks (we all have them), she can do the same, and you really love eachother, go for it!

Ideally, you only want to do this once.
So, keeping that in mind, is this girl, the one you want to see every morning, for the rest of your life?

Is this the girl who you want to know everything about?
Like all her bad habits, obsessions, and fears?

Is this the woman, whos ass you want to help wipe when your old and feeble, and need help doing it?

If your not sure about any of these.....I say wait, and find out.

Right at this precise moment, yes, she is...

How old are you?

I, personally, would recommend waiting until you've lived together before getting married. I don't want to bring you down, but I've seen more than one relationship go kersplat! after living together for a year or so.

19

19


Ohh..damn.

Dude...I say wait.

19 is young...you may want to go to college?
If you do, what if she wants to go to a different one?
Long distance relationships dont last.

Give it a year, after moving in with her.
By then...you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I wouldn't if I were you. It'll just mean you have to pay lawyers when it all goes horribly wrong.

There's nothing you can do married that you can't do unmarried. Maybe you might want to consider it when you're in your fifties and the inheritance/tax/pension rules start being more important, but by then you'll probably have decided whether you really like her or not.

19
Don't be in such a hurry--seriously. Your body hasn't even finished developing physically yet, so give it some tinme. I know whereof I speak--I was married at 20 and divorced by 26 and it's a miracle we lasted that long.

Well, if you want to have your life controlled/shared by another person forever, then it's your call… is that what you really want?

Marriage is a big thing and I myself rushed into it early this year - we lasted 3 months or so then she went weird and cheated on me and to blow it all of I found out she was a prostitute while I was going with her.


This doesn't mean you will fail, I know people who have got married quicker and it worked.

At the end of the day it's how YOU feel and how YOU want your life to be.

Good luck amigo, don't let my story put you of.

Ohh..damn.

Dude...I say wait.

19 is young...you may want to go to college?
If you do, what if she wants to go to a different one?
Long distance relationships dont last.

Give it a year, after moving in with her.
By then...you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

My boyfriend and I have been dating long-distance for the last year and a half and we're still going strong. Finally moving in together in November, actually.

I'm also going to join the "live together for a few months" bandwagon. You're guaranteed to find one of her habits irritating and it's generally the small things that cause the most bother. You've really got to get used to living together before you make such a huge committment. However, I'm very happy that you feel so in love. It's a terrific feeling and I wish you both all the best :).

I agree with what the others are saying - live with her for, say, six months to a year. If you really still feel the same then, then why not? :) Bear in mind your age though - I know that must sound patronising, but it isn't meant to be. I'm 21, have been going out with my bloke for nearly two and a half years, we're intending to move in together later this year. Much as I love him, I wouldn't consider marrying him until we'd lived together for a good while and I was a bit older (maybe at 23 or so I'd consider it). Of course, only you can decide, but there's my two cents anyway. Good luck whatever happens!

Not if you have to ask us...

You're 19 and have only been dating her for a year and a half.
19 is too young to get married, especially if moving in together will mark the first time you have lived in a house that is not your parent's. And I consider a year and a half too short a time to figure out if you want to spend your life with someone.

Now we all there's no hard and fast rules about love...

but?

I'd say wait on that a couple of years, everyone i'ver EVER met has changed significantly from the ages of 18-23... Well, except ONE guy but he's seriously mellowed out during that time.

Marriage is (should be?) forever. Its hard to promise forever when you can't promise who it is your going to be in the next five years.

Ohh..damn.

Dude...I say wait.

19 is young...you may want to go to college?
If you do, what if she wants to go to a different one?
Long distance relationships dont last.

Give it a year, after moving in with her.
By then...you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Actually...My relationship started out as a long distance relationship. For the first 9 months or so, that's how it was. Me in Chicago, him in Washington DC. We've been together for almost 2 years now, and going stronger than ever.
I think if you care enough about the other person, long distance relationships can be stronger than conventional relationships, because the trust and openness has to be more prominent.

But that's just my opinion. And for the record, I'd say live with her for a bit before you ask her to marry you. :)

It's up to you, of course - but if you do, my advice is to do it in private. I really hate it when guys pop the question in front of friends and family, making it even harder for the woman to give a negative answer, if that's what she's inclinded to do. Being pressured into saying "yes" really starts everything off on the wrong foot, if you ask me. (Not that this is what you were asking - but it's a real pet peeve with me.)

Dude, if you're asking us, you're out of your mind! Some of us are just lowly teenagers. Worse yet, we're all on an online game!! If you've got to ask us, there's some problems. Also, if you're asking us, you might not be mature enough.

Do what you think is right, not what a bunch of computer nerds (no offense to anyone) say.

If you have to ask...then...I'd say you're not ready...

if you were ready for it, you would know and wouldnt have to ask for anyone else's advice...

Given your age, and the fact that you haven't lived together yet, I'd say not yet. But what do I know - I'm only 15. And it's your decision.

Then again, I could go with the standard line "If you're asking people you don't know on an internet forum, then the answer is no."

But it's your life. I'd say if you need to ask, reconsider, and in any case listen to those who are older and wiser. Divorce is no fun.

I think that you should.

Unless you're basing your decision on the outcome of this poll; in which case, i don't think you should be making any decisions whatsoever.

P.S. living together is a bad idea; you'll regret it someday even if you marry this girl because you'll wish you had taken the time to enjoy your freedom while you had it instead of rushing into cohabitation. But don't get me wrong... the freedoms you give up for marriage are far outweighed by the benefits.

Given your age, and the fact that you haven't lived together yet, I'd say not yet. But what do I know - I'm only 15. And it's your decision.

Then again, I could go with the standard line "If you're asking people you don't know on an internet forum, then the answer is no."

But it's your life. I'd say if you need to ask, reconsider, and in any case listen to those who are older and wiser. Divorce is no fun.

Just so you know, living together doesn't provide any insight at all into whether the marriage will work. cohabitating just proves that you can have sex and stand the other person as a roommate. when you're family, it's so totally different. i'm sure you have friends... think about how different your relationship would be if they were part of your family. Now, multiply that by a factor of 20, and that's what it's like. But don't get me wrong... marriage can be great and i recommend it to anyone.

If you have to ask...then...I'd say you're not ready...

if you were ready for it, you would know and wouldnt have to ask for anyone else's advice...

I totally, but respectfully, disagree.

It would be foolish to make a decision of this magnitude without getting input from other people. You should definitely WANT to get married, but i think anyone should ask other people what they think about it before actually doing it. a lot of responsibilities come with marriage, and someone may have not considered all those responsibilities--perhaps someone would put off marrying until they were more willing to accept them.

that said, marriage is great, and i recommend it. (though not necessarily TODAY for everyone.)

Did you two already have other boy/girlsfriends?

I say go for it. All but one couple that got married before they were 20 are still happily married. One couple has 2 children already, and have been married 10 years. They got married when I was 10.

It's nice to have someone to live with while in college too, if you decide college is right for you. I'd just say wait until you are financially supplied before you have kids.

Do it,
but with a cheap ring (preferably Dimond-ique) so if things do go wrong your not out of pocket - or even get her a ring that you could see yourself wearing. Also get her drunk first*





*not good advice if your partner is a alcoholic

I don't care. All I saw was 'Should I pop the...' from the main index, and I came in expecting something else...

What can I say, I've got a guttermind. Hey, weddings these days have a 50%-odd chance of sticking, so I figure you may as well give it a shot. If you invite me I'll get drunk and ruin it for you! I'm good at that! I can do impressions with my pe...

[Psychiatrist's Note: This patient cannot attend functions outside the clinic, so please do not entertain such a notion. -- Dr. Shrinkyhead]

I like how with your name the title turns in to "should I pop the question of the underpants?" :D