NationStates Jolt Archive

You get a girl to smack you, and then calmly ask "Are you hitting on me?"

what about...

'if you were a booger, i'd pick you.'

How'd you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?

That's so bad it makes laugh every time.

Wow, that is even worse than mine.

How about:
"Have you ever had sex with me before, (assuming the awnser is no) would you like to?"

If you were a sandwich at McDonalds...youd be the McBeautiful.

Lame, but I laughed my butt off when I first heard it.

Me"Hey, your dad has to be an terrorist"
She "why's that"

Me "With those Bombs..."
She " :sniper: "

I lost my Teddy Bear. Will you sleep with me?

Yet another corny line

I think the line with which I asked my boyfriend out for the first time may have got me arrested under other circumstances. I'd like to point out we're both quite shy a lot of the time, and he was 17 and I 18 when I asked this!

Have you seen the latest Harry Potter film yet?

However, he had, so we ended up going to see The Day After Tomorrow instead. Much better idea; we had the opportunity to spend two and a bit hours taking the relentless piss out of a movie together on our first date.

However, that isn't really a chat-up line, so I shall contribute: "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"

"Wanna shag/fuck?"

Works for me. But it's easier for us.

*makes mental note to never use any pickup line found on any internet forum...*

My shoes are having a party, why don't your pants come down?

Do we really need this thread... Commie Catholics'll find it and get ideas... he already has enough lines already... :rolleyes:

If i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

However, that isn't really a chat-up line, so I shall contribute: "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"

That’s a great song. Anyway,

"You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche"

"I'm not really this tall... I'm sitting on my wallet."

"May I have the pleasure, or shall we dance first?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I come walk past again?"

"Nice legs, when do they open?"

"I am not getting any smarter nor are you getting any more beautiful, sho should we pack it up and go have a shag?"

Edit: OH! Best pick up lines... sorry.

Do we really need this thread... Commie Catholics'll find it and get ideas... he already has enough lines already... :rolleyes:
Ha HA Little Punk ill sort him out!
I Liked the sig....

That’s a great song. Anyway,

"You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche"

"I'm not really this tall... I'm sitting on my wallet."

Yes it is :D Also, wow, thanks for the wittier ones. They're not chav material, at least. However, more:

---------
"That dress looks great on you, but I bet it'd look better on my floor."
---------
"My name's [Dave]."
"So?"
"So you're gonna need to know what to scream at the ceiling later tonight."
---------

---------
"My name's [Dave]."
"So?"
"So you're gonna need to know what to scream at the ceiling later tonight."
---------[/QUOTE]

Nice

Ha HA Little Punk ill sort him out!
I Liked the sig....

You can't, he hasn't been on for ages :( I'm getting bored, I have no one to talk to... or make people laugh at me...

'can i borrow 20p?'
'why?'
'i need to phone god and tell him ive found his missing angel

'nice shoes, wanna fuck?'

You can't, he hasn't been on for ages :( I'm getting bored, I have no one to talk to... or make people laugh at me...
Er sorry...

People laugh at you? :confused: :mad:
I'll sock them one!

You can't, he hasn't been on for ages :( I'm getting bored, I have no one to talk to... or make people laugh at me...

:D Bwahahahahahahaah. :D See, I laughed at your whining about him not being here. He’s still doing it, just not actively.

One of my faverates:

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

Er sorry...

People laugh at you? :confused: :mad:
I'll sock them one!

Bring it. :D

"Excuse me ma'am, but does this rag smell like ether to you?"

"Excuse me ma'am, but does this rag smell like ether to you?"
I prefer Chloroform...

Bring it. :D
KABLAMMMMMM!!!!

"Gee. For a fat chick you don't sweat that much."

"Want some candy?"

"I suppose you'll do."

"I've got Wrestlemania tickets."

"Now *that's* a goiter!"

"The yellow cat howls at midnight."

"Pull my finger."

You: Can I smell your pussy?
Her: NO!!
You: Must be your feet.

"Hi."

"Finally! Someone worthy of a roofie."

Oh I got a million of 'em.

Try this one:
You: Step up to the girl and tuck her hair behind her ear brushing her face as you do so. (this only works if she has some hair around her face)
She: will look at you curiously wondering who you are and why you did it
You: Say "I had to do it, your face is too beautiful to hide" then before she gets a chance to reply... (i just have to buy you a coffee sometime to make up for it"

this works. trust me. its what my boyfriend used to introduce himself to me when we first met.

Try this one:
You: Step up to the girl and tuck her hair behind her ear brushing her face as you do so. (this only works if she has some hair around her face)
She: will look at you curiously wondering who you are and why you did it
You: Say "I had to do it, your face is too beautiful to hide" then before she gets a chance to reply... (i just have to buy you a coffee sometime to make up for it"

this works. trust me. its what my boyfriend used to introduce himself to me when we first met.

That takes some serious guts!

That takes some serious guts!

or some serious alcohol

This is an easy for the shy:

So I was listening to music in my headphones while waiting to change line as she passed me. She looked at me and smiled as she passed but I thought she said something (or maybe I didn't). So I took out my headphone and said:

"Sorry?"

She felt implied to say something and then I went with the flow.

Do u work at UPS, cuz I couldve sworn u were checking out my package!

If ur left leg was thanksgiving and ur right leg was Christmas, what do u say I come visit u between the holidays

Oh I got a million of 'em.
Ah, but none of them are good ;)

"Gee. For a fat chick you don't sweat that much."

"Want some candy?"

"I suppose you'll do."

"I've got Wrestlemania tickets."

"Now *that's* a goiter!"

"The yellow cat howls at midnight."

"Pull my finger."

You: Can I smell your pussy?
Her: NO!!
You: Must be your feet.

"Hi."

"Finally! Someone worthy of a roofie."

Oh I got a million of 'em.teach me, oh great one ;)

"Hello I'm from Hampshire. Is there any Hampshire in you? Would you like some?"

"Did it hurt?" "When you fell out of heaven"

"I know what you're thinking, and if I told you then you'd think I meant Centimetres"

"get your coat love, you've pulled"

"Spit or swallow"

(lick a finger and wipe it on her arm) "Come on, let's get you out of those wet things"

Not so much a chat up line, but works when food shopping with a small child when in close proximity to someone you want to talk to. Bribe the child to say "Oh, I wish mummy was still alive so we'd know if these melons were ripe" followed by a sob from you.

I heard two ....


If I said you had a nice skirt would you take it off and show it to me.

You must be tired cause you've been runnin through my mind all day

"Wanna shag/fuck?"

Works for me. But it's easier for us.
Yeah, you horny gay men...midnight and all that's left in the gay bar are the lesbians...hmmmm....

I just made up this one while suggesting that I'd jump off a cliff.


"Gimmie a mattress and we'll make this happen."

"The word of the day is 'legs.' Let's go out and spread the word."

"Ficken?"

Start with "You know, stranger's candy tastes the best"

followed by "My van has tinted windows, wanna see 'em?"



(taste or tastes the best?)

How about... "Hello"

Oh, I see, you're looking for funny ones that you'd never actually use... okay...

"Talk to me or I'll follow you home"

"Each of my eyes is jealous of the other for the beauty it beholds."

"Tbye bogyeniya moyevo cyertz."

Girl: "What?"

"You are the goddess of my heart." (If she's Russian, she won't need the translation :) )

My shoes are having a party, why don't your pants come down?

Thats a classic

"Each of my eyes is jealous of the other for the beauty it beholds."

"Tbye bogyeniya moyevo cyertz."

Girl: "What?"

"You are the goddess of my heart." (If she's Russian, she won't need the translation :) )
Yeah, that is in no way creepy. :fluffle:

Ok, this one actually worked. Dont hold it against me I used it when I was a walking teen hardon.

"My friends and I had a bet, whoever gets laid first gets the prize money." She said how much? I said $100! She said ok can we split it? I said sure, so we had sex and i woke up before her and took off. Felt like an asshole cause I didnt even know her name. Oh well, I chalk it up as teenage stupidity.

Ok, this one actually worked. Dont hold it against me I used it when I was a walking teen hardon.

"My friends and I had a bet, whoever gets laid first gets the prize money." She said how much? I said $100! She said ok can we split it? I said sure, so we had sex and i woke up before her and took off. Felt like an asshole cause I didnt even know her name. Oh well, I chalk it up as teenage stupidity.
Hahahaha, good for you man.

:)

Edit: Also, you paid for sex but ran away from the bill.

1. "Hey babe, I'd like to talk to you; how's about comin' back to my room for a little boom boom?"

2. "I bet you $5 can make your boobs wobble without touching them!"
*grab a handful of boobies and jiggle*
"OK, I lose - here's your $5"

(I don't recommend #2 unless you know the girl very well, else you'll end up with anything from a slap to a lawsuit !)

Hahahaha, good for you man.

:)

Edit: Also, you paid for sex but ran away from the bill.


Edit: Men many times pay for sex. Examples being taking a woman out for a good time hoping for sex. Alot of times this doesnt produce results. I always figured when I was a teen and early 20's if they werent happy with going through the drive thru at mcdonalds then they werent worth my few dollars i was going to spend!

are you from venus cause yo ass is out of this world!