NationStates Jolt Archive

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


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Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.

If my wife is having an affair, I'd keep quite about it, but plot to kill her and make it look like an accident.

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


------

Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.
Hmmm. Well, I imagine most women would either go ballistic, or go into cataleptic shock.

If any woman I was married to said she was in love with her lesbian lover, I'm not sure what I would do. I suppose that if I was still in love with her, I would ask if it meant she wanted to leave me.

If my wife (yeah, right -- like anyone will ever be interested in an <expletive> like me) was having an affair with another woman, I'd adopt her as part of the family. Then we could all live together and have fun. :D

Who needs violence? And divorce costs money.

Common misconception about lesbians:

They don't want men in their sex life or they wouldn't be lesbians.

I would be disgusted if my wife was committing sexual acts with another woman for 3 reasons:
1. She obviously doesn't care much about the commitment we have with each other called marriage.
2. She doesn't care for me anymore.
3. In my opinion, homosexuality is wrong.

These are my opinions though, and I don't think that I would be married to the type of woman who would do that sort of thing to me.

That's the very best answer to give.

But in any situation, you're fucked. Well...maybe if she really, really loves you she wouldn't leave you, but I expect a major asswooping. I'd take it too, even if she curb-stomps you.

I would be very tempted to remove his capacity to have an affair, if you catch my drift :)

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


------

Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.

I've been cheated on, and I loathed it. I'm not about to go and cheat on my lover, ever. If she were to have an affair, with anyone (gender doesn't matter), I'd be incredibly pissed off/distraught/depressed.

If you have a problem in your marriage, if you're unhappy, talk about it. Decide an appropriate course of action. Don't make things far worse by looking to someone else.

If my wife (yeah, right -- like anyone will ever be interested in an <expletive> like me) was having an affair with another woman, I'd adopt her as part of the family. Then we could all live together and have fun. :D

Who needs violence? And divorce costs money.

Trust me, Czardas..I'm worse..*grins*You've only seen the very kind, saint like side of meh. ;) I found someone, and so could you, if you so choose.

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


------

Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.Invite Jeff over for some fun. I'd get pissed at my husband that he'd kept this stud to himself for so long...
Seriously, though, cheating is cheating. I'd pull a Bobbit on his ass.

Now, just remember everyone, this is not about lesbians....so no stray conversations about the matter. I like my threads kept on topic at all time, I ask you respect my wishes in this thread.

Also, I would take it semi-serious, as it is a more serious, in a fun way, topic of mine. I am actually curious as to what other's would think.

I would think that it would be a lot easier to deal with than if it were another woman. At least it would be no reflection on you as a woman or a wife, the fact is he needs another guy to be happy. Your dentist doesn't get upset when you go to the doctor for a flu shot.

I'd just remind her of my one and only rule for all relationships (acquaintance, friendship, lover, spouse):

Anything you can do, so can I.

Trust me, Czardas..I'm worse..*grins*You've only seen the very kind, saint like side of meh. ;) I found someone, and so could you, if you so choose.I've managed to alienate about 60 people who refuse to see my family since then, as they're afraid I might be along. :eek: I'm extremely mercurial, antisocial, and introverted. Look—I spend all day sitting here at my computer posting, instead of going out to meet people. :(

(Post count +1!:p)

Now, just remember everyone, this is not about lesbians....so no stray conversations about the matter. I like my threads kept on topic at all time, I ask you respect my wishes in this thread.

Also, I would take it semi-serious, as it is a more serious, in a fun way, topic of mine. I am actually curious as to what other's would think.
You asked which of us men would be upset if we found out our wife were cheating with another woman, so I gave you an answer.

One of my ground rules for a relationship is that affairs fall into one of two catagories:
1) Agreed upon in advance and thus acceptable as mere diversions
2) Actual cheating, which means I simply walk out the door.

I guess I'm rather emotionally detached from the subject, but after a nasty 'bout of (misguided) jealousy early in life I vowed not to take things so seriously. If my significant other found someone else significant, then they can make their own desicions about their life. I'd just like to find out in a timely manner.

You asked which of us men would be upset if we found out our wife were cheating with another woman, so I gave you an answer.

I did. I also made a "general" comment, not a specific one regarding one person. You made light to a topic that can be taken out of hand, I made sure to address the issue as soon as possible.

If you feel offended, simply ignore the thread. I did not ask for precisely your opinion and therefore it becomes your choice to respond. I ask you maintain your assumptions to a minimum here, being that I have not directly confronted you in this matter to state that it is you that I have a problem with.

Thank you.

I've managed to alienate about 60 people who refuse to see my family since then, as they're afraid I might be along. :eek: I'm extremely mercurial, antisocial, and introverted. Look—I spend all day sitting here at my computer posting, instead of going out to meet people. :(

(Post count +1!:p)
Ever drive a car along the road and notice something off to the side ahead, then find you're drifting in that direction? Same thing applies in life ... we tend to drift in the direction where our attention is focused.

Want to change your life? Change your focus.

Hmm, trying to I guess "sympathize" with you (assuming this really happened), (and I'm a male), if I were in a similar situation, first, I'd be partially disappointed that my spouse could not stay loyal to me despite the promise (wedding).

But after that, depending on whether or not I liked the other person (and for you, not only that, but depending on whether or not you'd be into it) and depending if my spouse (and her, or in your case, his partner) were bisexual instead of straight homosexual (yet pretending to be hetero in their relationship with me), I might be interested in trying out a 3-some relationship...it would depend.

I did. I also made a "general" comment, not a specific one regarding one person. You made light to a topic that can be taken out of hand, I made sure to address the issue as soon as possible.

If you feel offended, simply ignore the thread. I did not ask for precisely your opinion and therefore it becomes your choice to respond. I ask you maintain your assumptions to a minimum here, being that I have not directly confronted you in this matter to state that it is you that I have a problem with.

Thank you.
I know you didn't ask for precisely my opinion, but I did respond. I'm sorry if I assumed that you were referring to my comment when you mentioned lesbians. I thought you were, so I offered a defense.

Such a scenario would greatly upset me, as such a situation tore my family apart when I was a child.

My father came home one day, told my Mom he was gay. Mom begged him to stay, probably for the kids (that's me and my sister). He did, but went back to sleeping with another guy, felt guilty, came back again. This time my Mom had had enough, and they divorced.

It all but destroyed her. It felt to her as if everything she was as a woman was worthless - physically, emotionally, and even as a mother.

Years later, my father died of AIDS. May he roast in pieces.

Ever drive a car along the road and notice something off to the side ahead, then find you're drifting in that direction? Same thing applies in life ... we tend to drift in the direction where our attention is focused.

Want to change your life? Change your focus.
you need to sell some motivational tapes

I did. I also made a "general" comment, not a specific one regarding one person. You made light to a topic that can be taken out of hand, I made sure to address the issue as soon as possible.

If you feel offended, simply ignore the thread. I did not ask for precisely your opinion and therefore it becomes your choice to respond. I ask you maintain your assumptions to a minimum here, being that I have not directly confronted you in this matter to state that it is you that I have a problem with.

Thank you.
[ thanks his lucky stars that he's not yet pissed off Der FUHRER! ] :D

you need to sell some motivational tapes
Or at least turn that whole thing into a bump sticker...a large bumper sticker..

you need to sell some motivational tapes
I've considered it. Hard to break into that market niche without some coin though. :(

Ever drive a car along the road and notice something off to the side ahead, then find you're drifting in that direction?No. In my state driving is illegal under the age of 18. :p

Such a scenario would greatly upset me, as such a situation tore my family apart when I was a child.

My father came home one day, told my Mom he was gay. Mom begged him to stay, probably for the kids (that's me and my sister). He did, but went back to sleeping with another guy, felt guilty, came back again. This time my Mom had had enough, and they divorced.

It all but destroyed her. It felt to her as if everything she was as a woman was worthless - physically, emotionally, and even as a mother.

Years later, my father died of AIDS. May he roast in pieces.
That's so sad. The saddest thing is that your mother allowed him to control her emotions and self-image. :(

I've considered it. Hard to break into that market niche without some coin though. :(
Just do what Joe Dirt did. Get your parents to sew a mullet to your head that will eventually infuse into your skull....then get left at the grand canyon at age 5, only to appear on some popular radio show, then start spouting off your motiviation, like "Life's a garden, dig it!"

No. In my state driving is illegal under the age of 18. :p
The analogy stands. Perhaps you've had the same experience on a bicycle. :p

Just do what Joe Dirt did. Get your parents to sew a mullet to your head that will eventually infuse into your skull....then get left at the grand canyon at age 5, only to appear on some popular radio show, then start spouting off your motiviation, like "Life's a garden, dig it!"
My parents died many moons ago. :p

That's so sad. The saddest thing is that your mother allowed him to control her emotions and self-image. :(
True statement, however, he was a master manipulator, the king of passive-aggressive behavior. And they married about just after college, so my Mom never really developed her own identity.

My parents died many moons ago. :p
Without leaving you at the Grand Canyon so you can start your motivational tapes business?!

It's hard for me to answer this, because the man I'm married to now is not only the most committed and devoted person I've ever met in my entire life, but he's also very much notanywherenear gay. If he came up to me one day and told me in all seriousness that he had been having an affair with a man for the last year... well, shit, I don't even know. I'd be shocked, and confused, and hurt. A small part of my brain would say 'if you want it that way we can buy a strapon...' and another small part of my brain would be really happy that he didn't find another woman.

If he was willing to drop the affair then we could work it out, so far in our relationship we've been able to deal with everything that comes our way together. If he wasn't able to leave the 'mistress' (what do you call a male mistress??) then I'd be going, with so much despair and regret that I can't imagine it. I probably wouldn't find another mate, and live the remainder of my life alone, raising my daughter.

I hope that helps :)

True statement, however, he was a master manipulator, the king of passive-aggressive behavior. And they married about just after college, so my Mom never really developed her own identity.
I've seen that happen before. It's not pretty. I hope your mother has found a bit of peace, and has begun to rebuild her life.

Quoting Antherida
Common misconception about lesbians:

They don't want men in their sex life or they wouldn't be lesbians.

I would be disgusted if my wife was committing sexual acts with another woman for 3 reasons:
1. She obviously doesn't care much about the commitment we have with each other called marriage.
2. She doesn't care for me anymore.
3. In my opinion, homosexuality is wrong.

These are my opinions though, and I don't think that I would be married to the type of woman who would do that sort of thing to me.

Considering you come from Alabama, I wouldn't doubt you would have anti-gay leanings.

Considering you come from Alabama, I wouldn't doubt you would have anti-gay leanings.
edit: That comes across as a rather bigotted statement. :(

Considering you come from Alabama, I wouldn't doubt you would have anti-gay leanings.Not true. There are many people from Alabama with no anti-gay leanings (i.e. Zotona).

I asked my girlfriend and she said she would be more disgusted by the thought of second hand funk from a man(you know what I mean) than second hand funk from a girl. She would be digusted either way but one is funkier than the other.

Perhaps that was a rather bigotted statement? :(
get used to it.

As someone stated earlier, there is a difference between you and your husband openly having relationships outside your marriage and an affair like this that was done behind your back. I knew before I married her that my wife has some bi-sexual tendencies, but most of her interest in with men. If she cheated on me with another man I would be furious. If she cheated on me with a woman i would be hurt and still mad if she did it behind my back, but realize that there are some needs that she has that I, as a man, am not capable of fulfilling. There have even been one or two occasions that we have discussed her doing something with some of the friends we have that are lesbian or bi-sexual. This doesn't bother me, now if she had done something with the same women and not told me I would not have left her (as i take my vows very seriously as a promise for the rest of my life) but it would take a long time to earn my trust again.

All this being said, if your husband came to you and confessed, that takes courage to tell you. At least you did not find out from someone else.

:confused:

Well, so much for the civil direction this conversation was going. Should've known that it was too good to be true on general.Wait...there were civil conversations on General once? I don't remember them. :D

But with all honesty I don't think that the man would have been 100% commited to the relationship in the first place if he had such leanings. That is assuming that he was born gay. Because we all know that he could not choose to be gay(or at least just experiment) because that never happens. :confused:

:confused:

Well, so much for the civil direction this conversation was going. Should've known that it was too good to be true on general.

I was not being rude, I was referring to the subject of your post that I quoted. :D

I was not being rude, I was referring to the subject of your post that I quoted. :D
Ok sorry for the missunderstanding. I'll retract and delete my previous posts. (glad I didn't give into the flaming temptation :D )

edit: infact, I'm still not quite sure I know what you're talking about but I trust that you weren't truely trying to be rude.

edit: infact, I'm still not quite sure I know what you're talking about but I trust that you weren't truely trying to be rude.

Not a problem :D

The individual you quoted in the post that I responded to initially has a proclivity
for rudeness.

Seriously, though, cheating is cheating. I'd pull a Bobbit on his ass.
Maybe I'm just thinking too much - but this comment presents some very weird imagery for me... :confused:

Well if I had a husband I would probably go into a very severe state of shock at that news... that's it that I can tell you, I don't know what I'd do next... probably check to see that it wasn't some kind of joke... and then, I have no idea

Well first I'd have to get over the shock of coming home to a husband...when the heck did that happen? Then I'd ask if the other guys hot...(I know I'd still be curious amidst my shock) and then I'd post pictures of him in embarassing places all over his workplace, use up credit cards,then refuse to divorce him...I guess... :D

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


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Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.
my husband and i have a "no divorce" pact

so i guess id have to kill him

some things just cant be fixed.

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."
"Oh, then what happened to your last boyfriend?" (ok, this is only because my boyfriend and I joke about him having his own boyfriend; I make fun of him for being gay ^_^)

I'm sure I'd be devastated. I've been cheated on, and it's just about the shittiest feeling in the world. I'm not sure the gender thing would make a difference - maybe it'd be very, very slightly better than if he were cheating on me with another woman, since I'd feel less like it was somehow my fault for not being "good enough."

Oh dear lord... okay, here's what I think would happen, in order.

1. Immediate forceful realization that my tendency to like gay boys in middle and high school never went away.
2. A few seconds of complete and utter disbelieving shock.
3. Be tempted to ask "Gay or bi?"
4. Then I'd go into "Do you still love me? Do you still want to be with me? I'm glad you told me, but where are you going from here?" kind of routine.
5. Likelihood is, we'd separate for a while, he'd figure out himself out (the "gay or bi" and "do you still love me" questions), and either we'd get back together while trying to find a proper outlet for his sexual needs, or we'd get a divorce, but remain friends.

If you think this is way unrealistic, keep in mind I'm 15.

If I had a significant other that did that I would get really mad really fast and yell at her. I would tell her that divorce is wrong, that marriage is for life, and that being a lesbian does not get you off of the hook.

I would then proceed to force my wife into marriage counseling, hopefully through some form of anti-divorce and anti-gay church so that way I will not have to deal with some BS of my wife claiming that she has to pick herself over me and the marriage that we agreed upon years ago.

The only way I would agree to get married is if I felt that I could trust my wife and for her to do something like that would come very close to killing me. :(

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


------

Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.

i was married,never cheated on my wife,except with her sister...oops...but seriously.
if it was with another man,i bet it is just sexual in nature,not love,which i am sure he has for you...i became bi somehow,andit is mostly sexual with men but with women it is different...i love women and like guys.
he may be just experimenting with his own sexuality and it may have nothing to do with you.
i may be wrong,i may have misread your post...you should sit down and discuss the situation....he may be just going thru a phase of expermenting,but if he married you,he loves you...
sorry i aint much help,but men have weird sex drives,women can have sex whenever,men sometimes feel deprived by there spouses,i know i diod,too tired...yada yada yada
talk to him is my adviuce

i was married,never cheated on my wife,except with her sister...oops...but seriously.
if it was with another man,i bet it is just sexual in nature,not love,which i am sure he has for you...i became bi somehow,andit is mostly sexual with men but with women it is different...i love women and like guys.
he may be just experimenting with his own sexuality and it may have nothing to do with you.
i may be wrong,i may have misread your post...you should sit down and discuss the situation....he may be just going thru a phase of expermenting,but if he married you,he loves you...
sorry i aint much help,but men have weird sex drives,women can have sex whenever,men sometimes feel deprived by there spouses,i know i diod,too tired...yada yada yada
talk to him is my adviuce


not tooo sound like a pig..but i would have been thrilled if my wife was having an affair with another women...but i may be a disgusting piug...but i know a bunch of friends thats wives always play with other girls,and we love it,hell i wish my wife did,it might have made my marriager last

Why does everyone say they would resort to violence? This is still supposedly your one true love, the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Sure, it may be devastating to find out they've been cheating, and it might be cause to end the relationship, but I just can't imagine you'd all kill the person you love. And saying it for dramatic effect is just silly, in my mind.

Why does everyone say they would resort to violence? This is still supposedly your one true love, the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Sure, it may be devastating to find out they've been cheating, and it might be cause to end the relationship, but I just can't imagine you'd all kill the person you love. And saying it for dramatic effect is just silly, in my mind.
Such betrayal would lead to feelings of being threatened, abandoned, inferior, lost, hopeless, defeated, betrayed, and all sorts of hurt. To say that you would harm your spouse for doing that would be a little dramatic maybe but sort of reasonable, especially for highly emotional or violent people.

That's so sad. The saddest thing is that your mother allowed him to control her emotions and self-image. :(

i have to agree with eutrusca.

it is truly sad your family went thru that.

however,do you honestly believe your dad had a choice in the matter.put it this way,gee,i have a wife and kids,let me toss that away to announce i am gay and have everyone hate me.?

not to ever minimize your pain,but really,it is a tough thing to deal with.i am bi sexual,i was married,i am now divorced because of that...well,prolly cause i had an affair with her sister.....but she could not get over the fact that i was bi...did i want to be?...no i wanted to be super husband /dad...but we are are best friends now,but it was not her.i feel very bad for your mom,it is never meant the way it is taken.
maybe you should reflect on things a little,i would never presume to be in your shoes....ever,but maybe you are hurt and maybe,maybe your dad does not deserve it.i may be wrong,i dont knpow your situation.
either way..i feel very sasd for you and your mom.but my exsperience is,it had nothing to do with your mom or you...and it was very difficult for him to be honest with you.
i bet your dad loves /loved you and your mom..i mayb e wrong,but my own exsperience tells me,it is so hard to fight an inate feeling.
imagine you were engaged to a guy you loved and all of a sudden you have an uncontrollable attraction to your friend..a girl...would you not feel terrible that you hurt your boyfriend?how do you explain your feelings?

I would then proceed to force my wife into marriage counseling, hopefully through some form of anti-divorce and anti-gay church so that way I will not have to deal with some BS of my wife claiming that she has to pick herself over me and the marriage that we agreed upon years ago.


Jesus, you're joking right??

I would accept it and get as far away from them as possible......

(Then slowly construct the most devastating and horrifying 'terrorist' act ever devised, an impossible whirlwind of destruction and grief to wreak upon society. No longer truly human, my energy would be completely devoted to the abolition of the inhuman conditions that allowed such a thing to happen; for if something like what happened to me was even concievable, its obvious that society is not completely effective at teaching its children the basics of proper human behaviour. With any luck, this gruesome and gory act will inspire some amount of fear, respect, or attention on the issue, and society as a whole will become a lot more careful in how it allows individuals to emotionally crush one another. The videos of me sprinting through a crowd, katana flashing, leaving limbs and handgrenades in my wake, as they all choke on the rose-scented poison gas, will forever haunt the annals of history.)

.......then find someone else :D.

I would accept it and get as far away from them as possible......

(Then slowly construct the most devastating and horrifying 'terrorist' act ever devised, an impossible whirlwind of destruction and grief to wreak upon society. No longer truly human, my energy would be completely devoted to the abolition of the inhuman conditions that allowed such a thing to happen; for if something like what happened to me was even concievable, its obvious that society is not completely effective at teaching its children the basics of proper human behaviour. With any luck, this gruesome and gory act will inspire some amount of fear, respect, or attention on the issue, and society as a whole will become a lot more careful in how it allows individuals to emotionally crush one another. The videos of me sprinting through a crowd, katana flashing, leaving limbs and handgrenades in my wake, as they all choke on the rose-scented poison gas, will forever haunt the annals of history.)

.......then find someone else :D.

I think I love you :fluffle:

I would accept it and get as far away from them as possible......

(Then slowly construct the most devastating and horrifying 'terrorist' act ever devised, an impossible whirlwind of destruction and grief to wreak upon society. No longer truly human, my energy would be completely devoted to the abolition of the inhuman conditions that allowed such a thing to happen; for if something like what happened to me was even concievable, its obvious that society is not completely effective at teaching its children the basics of proper human behaviour. With any luck, this gruesome and gory act will inspire some amount of fear, respect, or attention on the issue, and society as a whole will become a lot more careful in how it allows individuals to emotionally crush one another. The videos of me sprinting through a crowd, katana flashing, leaving limbs and handgrenades in my wake, as they all choke on the rose-scented poison gas, will forever haunt the annals of history.)

.......then find someone else :D.

........wow. I hope no-one ever cheats on you!

If I had a significant other that did that I would get really mad really fast and yell at her. I would tell her that divorce is wrong, that marriage is for life, and that being a lesbian does not get you off of the hook.

At which point she'd tell you that she can divorce you anyway, and that legally you can't stop her. And if you got mad and yelled, you'd have zero chance of convincing her to even *consider* not getting a divorce.

I would then proceed to force my wife into marriage counseling, hopefully through some form of anti-divorce and anti-gay church so that way I will not have to deal with some BS of my wife claiming that she has to pick herself over me and the marriage that we agreed upon years ago.

If you try to 'force' your wife in to counseling, she'd have not only good grounds for divorce, but also grounds for a restraining order against you. And she shouldn't HAVE to choose between herself and your marriage. YOU, if you cared about her at all, should want her to do whatever is best for her as a person, not whatever means you can live with the least amount of disruption as possible.

The only way I would agree to get married is if I felt that I could trust my wife and for her to do something like that would come very close to killing me. :(

Good luck with that whole 'if my wife decides she needs to consider divorce, I will get angry and yell at her, and then mentally abuse her (forcing her into brainwashing forms of 'counselling' where she will be told that she is wrong and powerless is NOTHING SHORT of mental abuse). I can totally see you getting snapped up right quick.

Almost makes me wish I could be attracted to girls instead of guys. At least when girls're crazy, it's usually of the passive-aggressive variety.

If they are nice enough... I say the more the merrier. :fluffle:

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


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Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.


Ladies, if this is done to you, simply separate his genitals from his body and walk out the door with them. cheating bastard

Women, hypothetical situation:

You come home one day, your husband has on the most serious look on his face, one that conveys regret yet a hidden secret about to be revealed. He does not offer you a seat before he takes a sigh and reveals the following:

"Listen, I'm having an affair. I've been seeing this person for about a year now.....I can't get enough. I had to tell you. You probably want to get a divorce now, right? I just don't know....we have something that you and I don't have. Oh, by the way, his name is Jeff...."


------

Well women, what would you do? Men, you can answer as well, I am not discrimatory, but it's hard to answer from a woman's perspective being a man. I guess you can reverse the genders, but face it......what man would be disgusted or repulsed if his wife confessed to be having an affair with another woman? ;)

And for the record, I may post my response later.....but right now, I would like to hear what you all have to say.

Well, seeing as in this scenario we would have married in the first place and it is unlikely for a person to have changed their sexuality at that age, I would be disappointed about being hoodwinked, since she'd have lied about loving me the whole time. Ruling out bisexuals, of course.

Since it's equally unlikely she's going to change this preference, I'd consider myself out of the competition by default - and I'd want a divorce. What else is there to do?

Ladies, if this is done to you, simply separate his genitals from his body and walk out the door with them. cheating bastard

How come so many women are advocating violence whereas most men are just saying the more the merrier?

How come so many women are advocating violence whereas most men are just saying the more the merrier?With a man it'd be two women. With a woman it'd be two men. ((Ought to be self-explanatory;)))

At which point she'd tell you that she can divorce you anyway, and that legally you can't stop her. And if you got mad and yelled, you'd have zero chance of convincing her to even *consider* not getting a divorce.

If you try to 'force' your wife in to counseling, she'd have not only good grounds for divorce, but also grounds for a restraining order against you. And she shouldn't HAVE to choose between herself and your marriage. YOU, if you cared about her at all, should want her to do whatever is best for her as a person, not whatever means you can live with the least amount of disruption as possible.

Good luck with that whole 'if my wife decides she needs to consider divorce, I will get angry and yell at her, and then mentally abuse her (forcing her into brainwashing forms of 'counselling' where she will be told that she is wrong and powerless is NOTHING SHORT of mental abuse). I can totally see you getting snapped up right quick.

Almost makes me wish I could be attracted to girls instead of guys. At least when girls're crazy, it's usually of the passive-aggressive variety.
Well, I believe that marriage is until death. The personal feelings of the parties do not really matter, if I am unhappy with my marriage I shoud not have been married and the same with her. It is a binding contract for both sides. I do not like homosexuality or cheating and think that neither are good and I think that my wife in the instance is being foolish(after all she agreed to marry me and now she changes her mind for her other lover). Also, I hope to get a covenant marriage that will prevent a divorce from happening very easily.

I do not like passive agressive. It really pisses me off, I prefer something that I can fight against rather than some constant annoyances.

If my wife is having an affair, I'd keep quite about it, but plot to kill her and make it look like an accident.
Antifreeze in Jello is a bad idea.