NationStates Jolt Archive

My entire head and upper shoulders was slathered in mustard. My eyes closed tight. I could feel the burn even then. But then my wife... my own wife! pinches my ass and I open my eyes just in time for a big gob of it to land in my left eye. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Owie. Ow. :(

Gulden's Spicy Brown. Very tasty on hot dogs. Hell in your eyes. :(

You want to know how I got my head covered in mustard, don't ya?

Sounds like your wife betrayed you. I'd say revenge is in order.

My entire head and upper shoulders was slathered in mustard. My eyes closed tight. I could feel the burn even then. But then my wife... my own wife! pinches my ass and I open my eyes just in time for a big gob of it to land in my left eye. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Owie. Ow. :(

Gulden's Spicy Brown. Very tasty on hot dogs. Hell in your eyes. :(

You want to know how I got my head covered in mustard, don't ya?
You should have posted this on the pain thread...

You should have posted this on the pain thread...
Pain thread? Must've missed that one...

You should have posted this on the pain thread...

Let's see... his head is 'slathered' in mustard, for what reason is anyone's guess, and his wife pinched his ass evidently as part of some S&M food fetish butt play thing. I really think this deserves a thread of its own. :)

Maybe he was roleplaying a hotdog. =p

Maybe he was roleplaying a hotdog. =p


LOL!

Pain thread? Must've missed that one...
Hm... it seems to have disappeared, but it was about the most painful experiences in your life...

LOL!

Just think. If he was roleplaying a hotdog, then his wife might have been roleplaying either the chef or the consumer of the hotdog. And usually when one is cooking meats, including sausages, one needs to test the tenderness by poking it. Pinching might work too.

Its Goofball's fault for not roleplaying a better sausage. =p

Just think. If he was roleplaying a hotdog, then his wife might have been roleplaying either the chef or the consumer of the hotdog. And usually when one is cooking meats, including sausages, one needs to test the tenderness by poking it. Pinching might work too.

Really stretching it there. Don’t you think? :D

Really stretching it there. Don’t you think? :D

Until he comes up with a reason, I'm sticking with the hotdog theory.

Really stretching it there. Don’t you think? :D

Knowing LG, not really.

Right, I'll ask the dreaded question: Why on earth did you put yourself into a situation where you got mustard in your eyes?

Right, I'll ask the dreaded question: Why on earth did you put yourself into a situation where you got mustard in your eyes?

You're obviously not familiar with LG's stories. After a while, HOW he got to the point of being covered in mustard is completely irralevent.

You're obviously not familiar with LG's stories. After a while, HOW he got to the point of being covered in mustard is completely irralevent.
There's a white text in his post that hints at him wanting someone to ask.

There's a white text in his post that hints at him wanting someone to ask.

There is too.

there might be a more interesting than usual story behind it then....

Maybe it wasn't a hotdog. Perhaps it was bratwurst? Or maybe snitchzel? Oh could it be Cervelat?

Maybe it wasn't a hotdog. Perhaps it was bratwurst? Or maybe snitchzel? Oh could it be Cervelat?

Kielbasa, dude, kielbasa.

Sorry LG, but I have to laugh at this.

Hahahahaha.

I'm intrigued. Why the mustard in the eyes?

I'm intrigued. Why the mustard in the eyes?
He's offline... fat chance he'll tell us now... :(

He's offline... fat chance he'll tell us now... :(
Damn him. We'll track him down and drag him back. Or wait til he returns.

In the mean time...
it should be noted that mustard gas should NOT be used to flavour burgers.

In the mean time...
it should be noted that mustard gas should NOT be used to flavour burgers.

Well, that goes without saying...!

Nonsense! I do it all the time. And there's nothing wrong with me. Although I do get a terrible case of heartburn every now and again. =p

Nonsense! I do it all the time. And there's nothing wrong with me. Although I do get a terrible case of heartburn every now and again. =p
Do you cough up the occasional lung-chunk? I get that sometimes, I find that inhaling some toothpaste generaly makes it stop for a while.

Do you cough up the occasional lung-chunk? I get that sometimes, I find that inhaling some toothpaste generaly makes it stop for a while.

Lungs? I don't have lungs anymore. Prosthetics is where its at. Lasts longer, more durable, and certainly less fragile.

Okay, I'm back. I sense that some of you are a mite curious as to how my head became covered in mustard.

Well, for quite some time, I had been helping with a charity carnival for my town. Among other activities I helped plan, We got a number of volunteers to 'auction' off our pride by performing outrageous(and in some cases rather ghastly) stunts. Guess what My stunt was? I became a human hot dog.

My town's mayor dressed in drag. I mean, he wen the whole nine yards. Legs waxed! :eek: stockings, make-up. Elegant dress. His wife helped him pick it out. :p

Roflmfao!

Roflmfao!

What he said.

Okay, I'm back. I sense that some of you are a mite curious as to how my head became covered in mustard.

Well, for quite some time, I had been helping with a charity carnival for my town. Among other activities I helped plan, We got a number of volunteers to 'auction' off our pride by performing outrageous(and in some cases rather ghastly) stunts. Guess what My stunt was? I became a human hot dog.

My town's mayor dressed in drag. I mean, he wen the whole nine yards. Legs waxed! :eek: stockings, make-up. Elegant dress. His wife helped him pick it out. :p
lol!...wait..what the hell..You still had pride left to begin with?

lol!...wait..what the hell..You still had pride left to begin with?

Shhhhh.... I lied for a worthy cause. :p

Shhhhh.... I lied for a worthy cause. :p

lol, and they didn't know any better? Surely you'd be the town spectacle and well known!

Okay, I'm back. I sense that some of you are a mite curious as to how my head became covered in mustard.

Well, for quite some time, I had been helping with a charity carnival for my town. Among other activities I helped plan, We got a number of volunteers to 'auction' off our pride by performing outrageous(and in some cases rather ghastly) stunts. Guess what My stunt was? I became a human hot dog.

My town's mayor dressed in drag. I mean, he wen the whole nine yards. Legs waxed! :eek: stockings, make-up. Elegant dress. His wife helped him pick it out. :p

Hah! I knew it! He WAS roleplaying a hotdog! See? The insane answers aren't always wrong. =p

You made me spill my soda onto the computer...

But putting aside the stickyness of the keyboard, holy crap that was hilarious!

Interesting...
Tell me, would you be willing to spend a few hours in a sealed 3x3x3 glass case for a worthy cause?

Now you know how the Allies felt in WWI.

My entire head and upper shoulders was slathered in mustard. My eyes closed tight. I could feel the burn even then. But then my wife... my own wife! pinches my ass and I open my eyes just in time for a big gob of it to land in my left eye. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Owie. Ow. :(

Gulden's Spicy Brown. Very tasty on hot dogs. Hell in your eyes. :(

You want to know how I got my head covered in mustard, don't ya?
To most people I would feel I am being unfair and mean, but to you it seems proper to say "owned" though. Terrible I know

Okay, I'm back. I sense that some of you are a mite curious as to how my head became covered in mustard.

Well, for quite some time, I had been helping with a charity carnival for my town. Among other activities I helped plan, We got a number of volunteers to 'auction' off our pride by performing outrageous(and in some cases rather ghastly) stunts. Guess what My stunt was? I became a human hot dog.

My town's mayor dressed in drag. I mean, he wen the whole nine yards. Legs waxed! :eek: stockings, make-up. Elegant dress. His wife helped him pick it out. :p


Your town officially has ownage over anything else, even Tikeshi's Castle and Sushi TV.

Hah! I knew it! He WAS roleplaying a hotdog! See? The insane answers aren't always wrong. =p

Got me through High School. :)

Interesting...
Tell me, would you be willing to spend a few hours in a sealed 3x3x3 glass case for a worthy cause?

That depends. Are we talking feet, or meters? :D

Your town officially has ownage over anything else, even Tikeshi's Castle and Sushi TV.


Yes, well my town has me. :cool: Before I joined the committee... well, let's just say that last year they had a 5k run for charity. :rolleyes: Wasn't even a naked run!

Next year, maybe I'll make the national news. ;)

That depends. Are we talking feet, or meters? :D

Probably centimeters =p

Not even slightly amused. I’m disappointed in you Goofballs.

I wouldn't mind role playing a hot dog At some point, it could be fun.

Where could I find buns large enough to fit in though?

I wouldn't mind role playing a hot dog At some point, it could be fun.

Where could I find buns large enough to fit in though?

The first thought to pop into my head was Star Jones.

But while funny, it really is rather rude and callous.

So after a moment of shame, and several more to think about it, I have to go with Rosie O'donnel. :D

I wouldn't mind role playing a hot dog At some point, it could be fun.

Where could I find buns large enough to fit in though?The question is not, where could they be found, it's whether you could keep from eating them in the parade. ;)



And LG...you know that's not true. The real story is much more embarrasing. Didn't it involve the time where you tried to drop a quarter into the Grand Canyon and then lost it and went down to find it and found....do you think I'll tell you the rest? LOL! :P

The question is not, where could they be found, it's whether you could keep from eating them in the parade. ;)



And LG...you know that's not true. The real story is much more embarrasing. Didn't it involve the time where you tried to drop a quarter into the Grand Canyon and then lost it and went down to find it and found....do you think I'll tell you the rest? LOL! :P

No, that was the infamous Arizona Kielbasa Truck Hijacking. Details elude me...

No, that was the infamous Arizona Kielbasa Truck Hijacking. Details elude me...Oh yeah, I always mix those two up. :P

Oh yeah, I always mix those two up. :P

It was a confusing time. The men in White Coats hounded us constantly.

It was a confusing time. The men in White Coats hounded us constantly.Yeah, they were everywhere. It was almost like a bad dream.


Oh wait. It was. Crap. :gundge:

My entire head and upper shoulders was slathered in mustard. My eyes closed tight. I could feel the burn even then. But then my wife... my own wife! pinches my ass and I open my eyes just in time for a big gob of it to land in my left eye. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Owie. Ow. :(

Gulden's Spicy Brown. Very tasty on hot dogs. Hell in your eyes. :(

You want to know how I got my head covered in mustard, don't ya?

What were you doing? How did you get all that mustard all over you!? :p

My entire head and upper shoulders was slathered in mustard. My eyes closed tight. I could feel the burn even then. But then my wife... my own wife! pinches my ass and I open my eyes just in time for a big gob of it to land in my left eye. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Owie. Ow. :(

Gulden's Spicy Brown. Very tasty on hot dogs. Hell in your eyes. :(

You want to know how I got my head covered in mustard, don't ya?

Ok, I understand that Mustard in your eye sounds quite painful and I even get the part where your wife is as sick and twisted (in a good way) like you.

All I want to know is, how does one end up soaked in Mustard? :D

Ok, I understand that Mustard in your eye sounds quite painful and I even get the part where your wife is as sick and twisted (in a good way) like you.

All I want to know is, how does one end up soaked in Mustard? :D

These things happen.

Well... to me, they do. :p

Okay, I'm back. I sense that some of you are a mite curious as to how my head became covered in mustard.

Well, for quite some time, I had been helping with a charity carnival for my town. Among other activities I helped plan, We got a number of volunteers to 'auction' off our pride by performing outrageous(and in some cases rather ghastly) stunts. Guess what My stunt was? I became a human hot dog.

My town's mayor dressed in drag. I mean, he wen the whole nine yards. Legs waxed! :eek: stockings, make-up. Elegant dress. His wife helped him pick it out. :p

Quoted for the posters above who were too lazy to read the thread :p

Ok, I understand that Mustard in your eye sounds quite painful and I even get the part where your wife is as sick and twisted (in a good way) like you.

All I want to know is, how does one end up soaked in Mustard? :DUh....read the thread? :D