NationStates Jolt Archive

My personal favorite is from the Smothers Brothers ( who were kind of like the John Stewarts of their time ): "You know, looking at you, I can understand why some animals eat their young!" :D

Last week on this forum someone wrote this one to me.

"Sir, you don't pay your drug dealer nearly enough."

It was in response to a weird little post I'd written. I found it really funny.

My favorite is, "I like you. You're silly."

SOme of my other favorites include:
"It must be such a feeling of freedom to be completely unencumbered by the process of thought."

"I miss the old days when you had to be smart to use a computer."

"Save some stupid juice for the rest of us."

:D

You really are one of a...wierd...odd...kind, aren't you?

"Your mother was a cow!"

"How appropriate, sir, you fight like a milkmaid!"

Probably got it wrong, but...

You really are one of a...wierd...odd...kind, aren't you?

Is that directed at me? :p

Is that directed at me? :p
;) maybe

Is that directed at me? :p
No, but this one is: in the card game of life, you're playing with a full deck of Jokers! :D

I've always liked the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where Moe wants a nickel from Calvin and Calvin responds: "Your simian competence is unusually rich in species diversity." Moe is stumped and Calvin walks away saying: "That was worth five cents."

Last week on this forum someone wrote this one to me.

"Sir, you don't pay your drug dealer nearly enough."

It was in response to a weird little post I'd written. I found it really funny.
That was me. :D

That was me. :D
It was a good one.

You sir, are an idol of idiot worshippers. (loosely adapted from Shakespeare)

Try here for some inspiration (http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?)

The Monkey Island computer games quadrilogy has as a part of the game a section where you do what is called "insult swordfighting". It's really funny sometimes, as the insults often have to rhyme for you to win:

"When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified."
"At least mine can be identified!"

"Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!"
"With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated."

"You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee."
"I look THAT much like your fiancée?"

"Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated!"
"Too bad they're all fabricated."

"Would you like to be buried or cremated?"
"With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated."

"I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated!"
"Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!"

I'm a big fan of any Doctor Cox insult (from Scrubs). Just the sheer amount of time and effort wasted with each one makes it insulting

No, but this one is: in the card game of life, you're playing with a full deck of Jokers! :D
http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/jumping/jumping0001.gif

What I should say...

"It's amazing how well you deflect rational argument and raw data with obtuse stubbornness and intellectual dishonesty...." :headbang:

What I do say...

"Pull your brain-housing-group out of your rectal defilade"... :eek:

http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/jumping/jumping0001.gif
Hehehe! I thought you might like that one! :D

If brains were testosterone, even Pfizer wouldn't be able to help you! :D

If brains were testosterone, even Pfizer wouldn't be able to help you! :D

Was that an attempt at a Viagra/sildenafil reference? Because Viagra is not testosterone, but a selective inhibitor of cGMP-specific phosphodiesterase type 5.

I'd challenge you to a duell of wits, but i see you come unarmed.

Random kid: You're weird.
Me: Thank you.

Me: Obviously, armed with your superior intellect and exceedingly rational reasoning, you present before us an argument of such inviolable truth that everyone who disagrees with you on it is flaming.
(Almost got me banned for flaming there, lol.)

Lady: If you were my husband, I'd give you poison.
Winston Churchill: If you were my wife, I'd take it.

...If anyone actually remembers...I kept this as a memory of 20 minutes wasted. *salutes* I shall never forget...:(

http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/Zeeky.jpg
ZEEKY BOOKY DOOK ON YOU!

*boom*

EDIT: Ahhh...I think LG is hosting the file...after all these months! :D

You must be the worlds only living braindonor (towards neocons). I liked that.

You must be the worlds only living braindonor (towards neocons). I liked that.
To edit: "You must be the world's only living brain donor."

I've always liked the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where Moe wants a nickel from Calvin and Calvin responds: "Your simian competence is unusually rich in species diversity." Moe is stumped and Calvin walks away saying: "That was worth five cents."

It would make more sense as something to the lines of: "Your simian countenance bears witness to a genealogy unusually rich in species diversity."

Or the ever-popular: "I suggest you go perform an impossible act upon your own body!"

Or the ever-popular: "I suggest you go perform an impossible act upon your own body!"
:D

Lady: If you were my husband, I'd give you poison.
Winston Churchill: If you were my wife, I'd take it.

Winston Churchill did indeed have some good ones.

Lady: Sir, you are most astoundingly drunk.
Winston Churchill: Miss, you are exceedingly ugly. Come next morning, I will no longer be drunk, but you shall continue to be ugly.

I may have messed the wording up on it, but I think it still gets the point across.

"You, Sir/Madam, have an acute case of Cranio-Rectal Insertion Syndrome."

Yes...that's one of my own. :p

Also, when I get cut off in traffic, instead of screaming " You fucking asshole!" or the like... I scream "You damned Democrat!!!" at them. The confused looks are priceless. :D

Also, when I get cut off in traffic, instead of screaming " You fucking asshole!" or the like... I scream "You damned Democrat!!!" at them. The confused looks are priceless.


No, no, no. The idea was to come up with insults. :D

The Monkey Island computer games quadrilogy has as a part of the game a section where you do what is called "insult swordfighting". It's really funny sometimes, as the insults often have to rhyme for you to win:

"When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified."
"At least mine can be identified!"

"Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!"
"With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated."

"You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee."
"I look THAT much like your fiancée?"

"Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated!"
"Too bad they're all fabricated."

"Would you like to be buried or cremated?"
"With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated."

"I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated!"
"Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!"
ROFL! Monkey Island is brilliant, when he's talking to the guy who he wants to teach him swordfighting.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to call you cannonball head"
"Its ok, I forgive you"
"I meant to call you chrome dome"

Priceless.

or in Baldurs Gate, when Ajantis the Paladin stops you. (dressed in full plate mail and helmet)
"Halt, who goes there, friend or foe?"
"When was the last time someone answered foe, tinhead?"

No, no, no. The idea was to come up with insults. :D
I do consider that an insult...at least as much of an insult as "neocon". :p :D

I do consider that an insult...at least as much of an insult as "neocon". :p :D
LOL! Ut oh! Heh! :D