NationStates Jolt Archive


Republicans Anonymous: 12-Step Program

President Shrub
11-07-2005, 09:39
The year was 1979 and I was in a small, office building outside of Wellesley, Massachusetts, with a group of about a dozen people. Hillary Clinton sat across from me, scratched her head, and with a teary-eyed face, said, "My name is Hillary Clinton. And I am a Republican", nearly bursting out with sobs upon saying it. The group said, "Hello, Hillary," and immediately consoled her.

Republicanism is a plague upon America. It puts people in jail, and out on the streets, throws them into the depths of poverty, and leaves children without fathers. What many people need to realize, though, is that if you know someone who is Republican, it ISN'T your fault, or even theirs. And it isn't your responsibility. You shouldn't feel guilty. Because you're not responsible, and neither are they. Yes, they may hurt themselves and others, but being upset over your lack of control or trying to control it will not change anything.

There are also many things Republicans can do to get help. In Massachusetts, just this year for example, they've opened 14 Republican Treatment Centers, holding such programs as "Republicans Anonymous." Remember: It's not set in stone. You just need to make the decision that it's something about yourself you want to change.

Well, it's been many years later, and Hillary Clinton has (thankfully) had a long and prosperous recovery. Whereas, people such as President Bush have hit rock bottom, finding themselves down in the ditch politically, seemingly having no way to escape.

It's not easy to stop being a Republican and no one expects that. But if you willingly take the first step, proclaiming loudly and sincerely, "I want to change!" then you're already halfway there.

Republicans Anonymous has a brilliant 12-step program on how to treat someone with Republicanism. I suggest you take a look.

THE REPUBLICANS' ANONYMOUS 12-STEP PROGRAM

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction (to tax cuts and fancy weapons) - that our lives (and budgets) had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (the Federal goverment) could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the government as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to the media, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our lies and logical fallacies.

6. Were entirely ready to have the Federal government remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked the Federal government to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all the minorities and foreigners we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all, with social programs and foreign aid.

9. Made direct amends to such minorities and foreigners wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through reading and studying to improve our conscious contact with reason as we understood it, asking only for knowledge of the people's will for the country and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a philosophical awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If it can work for Hillary Clinton, it can work for you. God bless.