NationStates Jolt Archive

If two people love each other, is it enough to sustain a relationship?

Or is more really needed.

Geographic proximity helps. :p

If two people love each other, is it enough to sustain a relationship?

Or is more really needed.

Love is an emotion. A relationship also needs objective rationality to sustain.

A little bit of money doesn't hurt.

As well as unfaltering and pure love, a relationship needs excitement, variety and fun to sustain itself. Nothing works in a boring routine monotony, especially not a relationship.
You always need something to talk about, you always need some new thing to do together, you always need some new thing to do apart, and you need to know that you are the most important thing in somebody else's life.

it really depends on what you define as love. A strong "best friend" type connection really helps in my experience

<snip>
You always need something to talk about, you always need some new thing to do together, you always need some new thing to do apart, and you need to know that you are the most important thing in somebody else's life.

Not always. A relationship also needs those quiet moments, the times when you and your "significant other" spend together doing nothing but "breathing the same air."

A little bit of money doesn't hurt.

Money has nothing to do with a relationship. If it does, then that is a relationship that will not last. :headbang:

If two people love each other, is it enough to sustain a relationship?

Or is more really needed.

The most important things in a relationship are Love, Trust, Committment, and Dedication.

You need Love to bring you together.
You need Trust to build the relationship.
You need Committment and Dedication to be willing to fight to hold the relationship together even through the rough times.

Massive amounts of money helps, with which you can by Love Insurance - you can have another bitch in the hour if one bitch leaves you.

"Maybe it's because women don't like to be called 'bitches,' Jay."
"They don't? Well how 'bout 'fine piece of ass'?"
"How about not."
"Well, what the fuck am I supposed to call you, then?"
"Something sweet, you big goof. Something nice."
".... .... .... Boo-boo kitty fuck?

If two people love each other, is it enough to sustain a relationship?

Or is more really needed.
A relationship needs both love and lurve to survive. That's why so many impotenet men are single.

Commitment, trust, patience, endurance, kindness, consideration, a strong work ethic, and a willingness to make the relationship work despite the tribulations are all necessary to a successful marriage. As long as a guy fulfills all of these requirements, he's marriage material to me :D

"Maybe it's because women don't like to be called 'bitches,' Jay."
"They don't? Well how 'bout 'fine piece of ass'?"
"How about not."
"Well, what the fuck am I supposed to call you, then?"
"Something sweet, you big goof. Something nice."
".... .... .... Boo-boo kitty fuck?

i remember that! where's it from :D

love is utterly necessary but no, its not enough.

we have all known people who were utterly in love the day they got married who are now divorced. we pretend that it wasnt "true love" but the truth is that they had enough love, they just destroyed it by the way they lived their lives.

You do need a healthy level of money to sustain a healthy romantic relationship over a long period of time. Financial troubles can be the cause of a great deal of friction for a married couple or family. People with incomes around or below the poverty line have higher divorces rates in part, because of this.

*takes off cloak and hood, puts on horn-rimmed glasses and white lab coat*

"Love" isn't enough because technically it doesn't exist. It's just a combination of chemical reactions in the brain caused by the releasing of the neurotransmitter dopamine... and so on and so forth... blah blah blah...

*doffs white lab coat and glasses, puts on cloak and hood*

Does that explain it clearly enough? :D

If two people love each other, is it enough to sustain a relationship?

Or is more really needed.

No. A commitment to the other person and a commitment to the relationship are also necessary. My wife and made such a commitment 37 years ago. :fluffle:

Commitment, trust, patience, endurance, kindness, consideration, a strong work ethic, and a willingness to make the relationship work despite the tribulations are all necessary to a successful marriage. As long as a guy fulfills all of these requirements, he's marriage material to me :D

Very well said.

some girls only require a little cash for the hour or so

"Love" isn't enough because technically it doesn't exist. It's just a combination of chemical reactions in the brain caused by the releasing of the neurotransmitter dopamine... and so on and so forth... blah blah blah...

But if one defines "love" as such, and if such biochemical states exist, then doesn't love, for all intents and purposes, thereby exist?

i remember that! where's it from :D

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, one of the funniest movies ever to grace the human race with its own existence.

But if one defines "love" as such, and if such biochemical states exist, then doesn't love, for all intents and purposes, thereby exist?Those chemicals do exist, however, "love" results from combinations of those chemicals and reactions that we're still not quite sure of. Since we don't know about it, it doesn't exist (for us anyway). Think about it: if you didn't know about Niagara Falls, would it exist for you?

Those chemicals do exist, however, "love" results from combinations of those chemicals and reactions that we're still not quite sure of. Since we don't know about it, it doesn't exist (for us anyway). Think about it: if you didn't know about Niagara Falls, would it exist for you?

Poor you. Poor poor you. Life is much more than a bunch of chemicals in your brain. Get off the computer and experience life outside. You can forever wander in equations and formulae, believing that life has no function, no goal, and be grumpy for the rest of your life, while the others may be less smart and theoretical, but are enjoying the fruits of their progress.

The smarter and more intellectual one is, the dumber and stupider one actually gets.

Those chemicals do exist, however, "love" results from combinations of those chemicals and reactions that we're still not quite sure of.

Does the emotion of love create the chemical reaction, or does the chemical reaction cause love? If you ever figure that out, you will become very rich.

Those chemicals do exist, however, "love" results from combinations of those chemicals and reactions that we're still not quite sure of. Since we don't know about it, it doesn't exist (for us anyway). Think about it: if you didn't know about Niagara Falls, would it exist for you?

You're missing the point. You're defining love to be a biochemical state in which dopamine runs rampant through the surrounding countryside -- a state that has been observed. You're not ascribing any spiritual or emotional significance to it. As a definition, it means that the two are equivalent. One is the other. So if one is observed, then the other must be observed concurrently.

Poor you. Poor poor you. Life is much more than a bunch of chemicals in your brain. Get off the computer and experience life outside. You can forever wander in equations and formulae, believing that life has no function, no goal, and be grumpy for the rest of your life, while the others may be less smart and theoretical, but are enjoying the fruits of their progress.

The smarter and more intellectual one is, the dumber and stupider one actually gets.

Flaming isn't nice.

Flaming isn't nice.


THAT'S FLAMING! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS!!!!

Lol.

Some debates can go far worse than that. You're new still. Be prepared. :fluffle:

all you need is love. and geaographical proxcimity has nothig to do wiht it and believe me i know. ive had a relationship with someone the past 3 years and ive seen her 8 times in the last 2 and yet were still in love. NOW THATS COMMITMENT :)

Don't be such a dork. Light hearted flaming is good and adds vibrancy to the discussion. That gut was wrong though.

Flaming isn't nice.

That wasn't even a spark let alone a flame.

all you need is love. and geaographical proxcimity has nothig to do wiht it and believe me i know. ive had a relationship with someone the past 3 years and ive seen her 8 times in the last 2 and yet were still in love. NOW THATS COMMITMENT :)

Well, I hate to be a jackass, but that's only part commitment. The rest is naivete, self-delusion, and the luck to have not stumbled upon someone who lights your fire in closer proximity. I wish you luck in maintaining that balance, but realize that some of those elements are not within your control. Not trying to be mean, rather speaking from experience.

Love is never enough.

To paraphrase Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.:
"I wish, when lovers or spouses fought, that one of them would have the sense to say 'please, a little less love, and a little more common decency.'"

If love is all there is, then you balance on the knife edge of success in that relationship. Some can balance there a long time, but without more foundation than that, a fall is inevitable. This is because, as Jill Sobule so ably put it, "love is never equal."

"Love is never equal
I learned that early at home
Someone always loves more than the other
And ends will always come
So you might as well have beginnings
Love is never equal after all

Love is never equal
The love between two people
Someone always gets the shorter straw
Love can be so tender
But you always must remember
Love is never equal after all

Last year I had someone
Who worshiped at my feet
He gave me ev'rything I wanted
But it did not interest me
And now I'm standing naked
Like one of those bad dreams
Where ev'ryone has clothes on 'cept for me

Love is never equal
The love between two people
Someone always gets kicked to the curb (kerb)
Love can be so tender
But you always must remember
Love is never equal after all

Love is never equal
The love between two people
Someone always gets kicked to the curb
Someone's always left out freezing
Battered down and bleeding
Love is never equal after all

Someone's always cheated
Hoodwinked and mistreated
Love is never equal after all"

So you see, without the shoring up that other compatibilites provide, love alone will eventually become unbalanced. There needs to be a respect and camaraderie that comes from friendship and the genuine desire to live for each others' happiness (or at least well-being).

Ite, missa est.

If two people love each other, is it enough to sustain a relationship?

Or is more really needed.
Much more is needed. A relationship is not just feeling, not just sex, not just companionship, not just commitment, not just whatever-- those are but one aspect of a much larger whole.

*takes off cloak and hood, puts on horn-rimmed glasses and white lab coat*

"Love" isn't enough because technically it doesn't exist. It's just a combination of chemical reactions in the brain caused by the releasing of the neurotransmitter dopamine... and so on and so forth... blah blah blah...

*doffs white lab coat and glasses, puts on cloak and hood*

Does that explain it clearly enough? :D
LOL :D

That wasn't even a spark let alone a flame.
I felt a tickle!


From my experience, you also need to at least be in the same nation...

Trust, Commitment, Communication, and Tolerance are the other important things.

Hey... thats catchy:

Love, Location,
Trust, Tolerance,
Communication, Commitment.

love is utterly necessary but no, its not enough.

we have all known people who were utterly in love the day they got married who are now divorced. we pretend that it wasnt "true love" but the truth is that they had enough love, they just destroyed it by the way they lived their lives.

Yeah, I know people who were totally happy together and now say 'It wasn't true love'. Yes it was. But enough about them.

Love is not enough, you also need other things which have pretty much been listed here.

Well, I hate to be a jackass, but that's only part commitment. The rest is naivete, self-delusion, and the luck to have not stumbled upon someone who lights your fire in closer proximity. I wish you luck in maintaining that balance, but realize that some of those elements are not within your control. Not trying to be mean, rather speaking from experience.

There's no self-delusion or naivete about it. Geographical proximity is a massive help, but long-distance relationships can still work. Now I've not got too many friends I go into detail about it with, but most people who know my girlfriend and of her relationship think it's one of the strongest they've seen. I'd be inclined to agree, we always work out problems and stuff, we try not to get loud and angry, and we try to be as respectful as we can. Most of the time it's great, we just talk about silly things or whatever. And yes, we're still young. We'll have arguments if/when we move in together, if we have kids, about money, all that stuff. But I'm pretty confident we're off to as good a start as any couple.

Sure, it's not easy at all, but I want it to work, and so does she. So it can work. Saying I've not met anyone closer who lights my fire isn't really accurate, because that would mean I would go for convenience over commitment. Which isn't happening. That's what commitment is all about, after all - putting up with difficult things, getting through rocky patches, and generally not taking the easiest way out of things.

Hey... thats catchy:

Love, Location,
Trust, Tolerance,
Communication, Commitment.

I like this! :fluffle:

EDIT: Would you like to come up with a love poem with those vocabulary?

I like this! :fluffle:

EDIT: Would you like to come up with a love poem with those vocabulary?
I don't think so... I'm crap at poems...

Though I'd like to see someone do it :)

What do you mean by relationship? As in Marriage? Or just simple boyfriend girlfriend stuff?

Mutual respect, same goals in life, trust.

And your sense of love.. Define your love. Love is not an emotion, emotion dies or slows down after a while. Love is a commitment and a choice. That you'll love someone to the very end even if she/he gets horribly disfigured, or puts on 1000 pounds, etc. Through the ups and downs.

Something like how a parent should love their child. They may not like their child, but they have a commitment to keep till their old enough. But for a marriage is for life.

Money plays a certain role in a relationship. It would be rocky without it, but it really tests the bond you both have.

I don't think so... I'm crap at poems...

Though I'd like to see someone do it :)
I once had a love from <location>
Who tried to find out her vocation
It had to involve trust
Tolerance was a must
And commitment to good communication

I don't think money has anything to do with it whatsoever.

I once had a love from <location>
Who tried to find out her vocation
It had to involve trust
Tolerance was a must
And commitment to good communication
LOL! That is gold! :D :fluffle:

I once had a love from <location>
Who tried to find out her vocation
It had to involve trust
Tolerance was a must
And commitment to good communication

IMPRESSIVE!!! I LOVE IT!! :fluffle:

additionally you can have

Love, Location,Trust, Tolerance,Communication, Commitment. etc

but ruin it all with...

unrealistic expectations

excessive jealousy

the need to control

addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping

all you need is love. and geaographical proxcimity has nothig to do wiht it and believe me i know. ive had a relationship with someone the past 3 years and ive seen her 8 times in the last 2 and yet were still in love. NOW THATS COMMITMENT :)
Here here!
I am in a long distance relationship with my bf-for the last two years...and we don't get to see one another a whole lot. But my love for him is still here and growing. It would probably help to be closer, but 2000 miles hasn't snuffed out the flame-not even close.

If two people love each other, is it enough to sustain a relationship?

Or is more really needed.

Commitment and trust