NationStates Jolt Archive


Would You Marry Someone From Another Religion

Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:10
Are there any religions which prohibit marriage outside of that particular religion? Would you marry someone from another religion? Please specify what religion you are and how religious you are. I'd be perfectly happy marrying somebody that isn't an Atheist. In fact I'd rather marry a Christian than an Atheist. I do have some Christian friends that would only consider being with another Christian though. Is it wrong to wish only to marry within your religion?
Fass
06-07-2005, 14:12
I probably would never marry someone religious. Religion is such a turn-off.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:15
I probably would never marry someone religious. Religion is such a turn-off.

I find that the exact oppisite is true. Ever discussed religion with somebody you're attracted to? It's really enjoyable, especially if they're passionate about it. Although it can get a bit much after a while I must admit. But in small doses...
Tekania
06-07-2005, 14:16
Are there any religions which prohibit marriage outside of that particular religion? Would you marry someone from another religion? Please specify what religion you are and how religious you are. I'd be perfectly happy marrying somebody that isn't an Atheist. In fact I'd rather marry a Christian than an Atheist. I do have some Christian friends that would only consider being with another Christian though. Is it wrong to wish only to marry within your religion?

I'm a presbyterian (PCA, Presbyterian Church in America; one of the more Reformed Presbyterian denominations, much like the OPC). My wife is agnostic. One of her three sisters is a UU (Unitarian Universalist) minister; the other two, and her brother and father are devout catholics.

So yes....
Cabra West
06-07-2005, 14:16
I've no intention of ever getting married.
As for long-term relationship, I don't care what religion my partner would be.
But I know that it would be highly unlikely that I would consider a relationship with a religious fanatic of any kind, that person would just annoy me long before we could get serious.
Dragons Bay
06-07-2005, 14:16
No. Marrying someone non-Christian is such a turn-off....

I can SO imagine us debating theology over the dinner table. Lol.
Townships
06-07-2005, 14:16
as a Christian, i could only marry a woman who is also a Christian.
"do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers"
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 14:19
Why not marry someone from another religion, if that person is your soulmate?

I know that if a Catholic wishes to marry someone from another religion, the other person need not convert, but the children are expected to be raised as Catholics.

Personally, if both partners are religious, I would probably expose the kids to both religions and when they were a teen, say, it's up to you to choose one, none, or something else.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:20
No. Marrying someone non-Christian is such a turn-off....

I can SO imagine us debating theology over the dinner table. Lol.

That's how I imagine my marriage to be. Problem is I never win in those theological debates.
Dontgonearthere
06-07-2005, 14:21
I could marry a Catholic or Orthodox person, perhaps a Muslim if they were nice, but I dont think I could bring myself to marry a pagan of any sort. What can I say, Im a horrible theoist. Sue me.
Muntoo
06-07-2005, 14:22
I'm a fairly lapsed Roman Catholic and my dh is Catholic as well. However, if he was a different religion I wouldn't care. That's not why I married him. He would say he's agnostic rather than Catholic though. My sister is currently dating a very sweet man right now who is Hindu. My parents seem uncomfortable with it but are actually trying to get over it. (yay!) The boyfriend is not super religious so it's unlikely in the event of marriage that he would make my sister convert.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:23
...but I dont think I could bring myself to marry a pagan of any sort. What can I say, Im a horrible theoist. Sue me.

Sue you? How bout I just shoot you instead? :sniper:
Dontgonearthere
06-07-2005, 14:25
Sue you? How bout I just shoot you instead? :sniper:
Yeah?
Well...Ill shoot you back! WITH AN UZI!
:mp5:
Yar!
Fass
06-07-2005, 14:25
I find that the exact oppisite is true. Ever discussed religion with somebody you're attracted to? It's really enjoyable, especially if they're passionate about it. Although it can get a bit much after a while I must admit. But in small doses...

I would never want to discuss such a pointless subject with someone I love. The thing is that I just couldn't be arsed to pretend to care about such outdated notions, and I could not respect them for entertaining them.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:25
Would anybody actually convert to marry somebody? Would you actually convert, say you've converted but be lying or refuse to marry the person because they were asking too much?
[NS]Simonist
06-07-2005, 14:28
Would anybody actually convert to marry somebody? Would you actually convert, say you've converted but be lying or refuse to marry the person because they were asking too much?
If I really loved somebody enough to give my whole life to them,then I would be willing to convert to their religion. I'm a Catholic from a huge Catholic family, but if I were with somebody who honestly had that conviction, I'm sure I'd get used to some new prayers.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:29
Yeah?
Well...Ill shoot you back! WITH AN UZI!
:mp5:
Yar!

There's a distinct difference between an Uzi and an MP5 (which your smilie is using). The Uzi was made by the israeli forces. The MP5 is made by Heckler and Koch. The MP5 is also significantly more accurate than the Uzi and is used by most counter-terrorism task forces for, as well as it's accuracy, it's silence and reliability. Sorry to be pedantic.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 14:29
Would anybody actually convert to marry somebody? Would you actually convert, say you've converted but be lying or refuse to marry the person because they were asking too much?

I would not convert. As I would not make anyone convert to marry me, I would not want anyone to make me convert. It may not be an ACTIVE part of who I am, but that upbringing IS part of who I am. To convert would be to deny part of myself.

Nor, for the same reason, would I ask anyone to change who they are for me.

If someone else cannot accept me as I am -- oh well.
Liverbreath
06-07-2005, 14:29
Would I? I did, and never regretted it for a minute.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 14:30
;) Oh, and please knock off the smilie spam, folks.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:30
I would never want to discuss such a pointless subject with someone I love. The thing is that I just couldn't be arsed to pretend to care about such outdated notions, and I could not respect them for entertaining them.

Fiar enough.
Quedas
06-07-2005, 14:31
I'm not baptized, and have no intention of ever being baptized, but I have no problem with people who are baptized or religious - as long as there is respect, I will never be one to judge. But if a future girlfriend of mine as her mind set on a big church wedding, I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think I can allow myself to sell my values for a big cake and some church bells.
UberPenguinLand
06-07-2005, 14:31
I would probably prefer an Athiest to another Christian, unless I could find a Female Christian that believes that Evolution is correct, and that science isn't bad and trying to kill us. Oh, and wish me luck with not getting the anti-evolution 'Bio I' teacher next year. They keep him because he's a coach, and that's the only reason.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:33
I would not convert. As I would not make anyone convert to marry me, I would not want anyone to make me convert. It may not be an ACTIVE part of who I am, but that upbringing IS part of who I am. To convert would be to deny part of myself.

Nor, for the same reason, would I ask anyone to change who they are for me.

If someone else cannot accept me as I am -- oh well.

If, for example, you were to marry a person with a family of devout Catholics (assuming you're not Catholic) and this person didn't really mind that you weren't Catholic, would you say that you were to appease the family and gain their approval, or tell them to shove it?
Whispering Legs
06-07-2005, 14:33
My ex-wife is a Unitarian Universalist. Surprisingly, she was EXTREMELY intolerant of my religion, as were many members of the congregation.

She explained it in detail - if I was to so much as assert that I actually *believed* something, then I was behaving in an extremely offensive manner.

Needless to say, it was a point of significant friction that only increased over time.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:35
Liverbreath']Would I? I did, and never regretted it for a minute.

Good for you. Hope I end up saying the same thing in 10 years time.
Citizens Tree
06-07-2005, 14:36
Are there any religions which prohibit marriage outside of that particular religion? Would you marry someone from another religion? Please specify what religion you are and how religious you are. I'd be perfectly happy marrying somebody that isn't an Atheist. In fact I'd rather marry a Christian than an Atheist. I do have some Christian friends that would only consider being with another Christian though. Is it wrong to wish only to marry within your religion?
I believe that in love as in politics one should never be guided by theology.
If two people love one another, then both of their gods (or lack thereof)
would likely smile upon the union.
Whispering Legs
06-07-2005, 14:38
My ex-wife is a Unitarian Universalist. Surprisingly, she was EXTREMELY intolerant of my religion, as were many members of the congregation.

She explained it in detail - if I was to so much as assert that I actually *believed* something, then I was behaving in an extremely offensive manner.

Needless to say, it was a point of significant friction that only increased over time.

I should have noticed something was wrong the first time I went to a UU service.

I was asked what religion I had just fled from (they all had individual tales of persecution at the hands of their original religion). Then they proceeded to say every bad thing they could about that religion, and how lucky I was to be in UU. When I said that I actually liked my religion, and believed in God, they got rather upset.

This happened EVERY time I went. Not just to the services, but to the coffeehouse functions, picnics, you name it.

For an organization that promotes tolerance, they seem to be extremely intolerant of belief and faith.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 14:40
If, for example, you were to marry a person with a family of devout Catholics (assuming you're not Catholic) and this person didn't really mind that you weren't Catholic, would you say that you were to appease the family and gain their approval, or tell them to shove it?

I don't think lying to one's future inlaws would be a good way to begin one's relationship with them. So were my faith to be different from theirs, I would tell them, politely, that while I did respect their devotion to the faith and I have nothing against it, it's simply not who I am. I would not dream of converting their son, and the subject of my faith was between myself, God, and their son ultimately.

Fortunately, this is not a problem I face. :)
Stelleriana
06-07-2005, 14:41
My ex-wife is a Unitarian Universalist. Surprisingly, she was EXTREMELY intolerant of my religion, as were many members of the congregation.

She explained it in detail - if I was to so much as assert that I actually *believed* something, then I was behaving in an extremely offensive manner.

Needless to say, it was a point of significant friction that only increased over time.

I find it curious that a UU would be intolerant of anything. Which religion could they not accept?
Dontgonearthere
06-07-2005, 14:42
There's a distinct difference between an Uzi and an MP5 (which your smilie is using). The Uzi was made by the israeli forces. The MP5 is made by Heckler and Koch. The MP5 is also significantly more accurate than the Uzi and is used by most counter-terrorism task forces for, as well as it's accuracy, it's silence and reliability. Sorry to be pedantic.
I have to say, it appears the smilie in question is using an M4 or similar, since it has a short, wide, curved magazine, a narrow foregrip and suchlike. Looks M4ish to me.
Commie Catholics
06-07-2005, 14:45
I have to say, it appears the smilie in question is using an M4 or similar, since it has a short, wide, curved magazine, a narrow foregrip and suchlike. Looks M4ish to me.

Possibly just bad graphics by the artist? Considering that it does have the label 'MP5'. It is small and dificult to tell.
Whispering Legs
06-07-2005, 14:46
I find it curious that a UU would be intolerant of anything. Which religion could they not accept?
I was Jewish at the time. There were several "ex-Jews" there who had plenty of intolerance.

Not to mention the minister, who always took the time to remind me how intolerant Jews are, and what miserable people they are.

Later, when I became a Pentacostal, that was the living end. There was a constant put-down of Jesus and God whenever I was around - I didn't have to say anything at all.

They were universally intolerant. The minister also took pains to explain to me that professing my individual belief was offensive to others.
Garsec
06-07-2005, 14:47
[QUOTE=UberPenguinLand]I would probably prefer an Athiest to another Christian, unless I could find a Female Christian that believes that Evolution is correct, and that science isn't bad and trying to kill us. Oh, and wish me luck with not getting the anti-evolution 'Bio I' teacher next year. They keep him because he's a coach, and that's the only reason.[/QUOTE

Wow. I thought that christians are only allowed to marry other christians in the church. Good job on making that decision though. Science is a good thing. Sure it can fall into the wrong hands, but that's a human flaw. We can't blame science for our egotistical power-crazy ways.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 14:47
I was Jewish at the time. There were several "ex-Jews" there who had plenty of intolerance.

Not to mention the minister, who always took the time to remind me how intolerant Jews are, and what miserable people they are.

Later, when I became a Pentacostal, that was the living end. There was a constant put-down of Jesus and God whenever I was around - I didn't have to say anything at all.

They were universally intolerant. The minister also took pains to explain to me that professing my individual belief was offensive to others.

Perhaps it was a case of an isolated idiotic minister who had led his congregation to the same poisonous conclusions?
Squirrel Nuts
06-07-2005, 14:49
I wouldn't marry anyone who is not agnostic or atheist. I wouldn't even date them. I have no desire to be with anyone who does not think similarly to myself.
The Black Forrest
06-07-2005, 14:49
I would marry anybody I would find "worthy" to share a lifetime.

Religion is your own business. I don't expect her to follow my code or my path if you will.

Having said that. I married a Sicilian so I married somebody of the same Religion.
Sableonia
06-07-2005, 14:50
My ex-wife is a Unitarian Universalist. Surprisingly, she was EXTREMELY intolerant of my religion, as were many members of the congregation.

She explained it in detail - if I was to so much as assert that I actually *believed* something, then I was behaving in an extremely offensive manner.

Needless to say, it was a point of significant friction that only increased over time.

Which is exactly why God says, "Not to be unequally yoked with unlike believers". Even if you love someone, that "religion" will become a sore spot, something to always disagree and possibly fight about. Eventually, in the marriage, the spouses WILL fight about it. And that mostly because we (male or female) believe that we are right about our religion or lack of it.

I would not marry someone who is not a Christian (believes in God, Son and Holy Spirit).
The Black Forrest
06-07-2005, 14:51
I wouldn't marry anyone who is not agnostic or atheist. I wouldn't even date them. I have no desire to be with anyone who does not think similarly to myself.

Ahh but sometimes that difference completes the whole.
The Black Forrest
06-07-2005, 14:55
Which is exactly why God says, "Not to be unequally yoked with unlike believers". Even if you love someone, that "religion" will become a sore spot, something to always disagree and possibly fight about. Eventually, in the marriage, the spouses WILL fight about it. And that mostly because we (male or female) believe that we are right about our religion or lack of it.

I would not marry someone who is not a Christian (believes in God, Son and Holy Spirit).

That's not a guaranteed response at all.

I dated a Jew, a Buddist, a Bornagain, a Protestant. Religion was never a factor when we finally broke up.

I know of a Jew and a Christian that are on their 20th year of marriage.
----edit----

Well after having said all that I found there are exceptions. Fundis. The ones I have crossed have been male. I forgot about Neo Roglia. If I ever dated somebody like her, it would be outright warfare.

So I amend and say I couldn't marry a fundi let alone date one.
Whispering Legs
06-07-2005, 14:56
Perhaps it was a case of an isolated idiotic minister who had led his congregation to the same poisonous conclusions?

Same thing at three different UU churches. Everyone who was a member had been in some other religion previously - and they had nothing better to do than to spend 90 percent of their time saying how horrible each of those religions was.
Drunk commies deleted
06-07-2005, 14:59
I'm atheist, and that makes me part of a small minority in the USA. The only other atheists I know personally are cousins of mine, so when I do get married it's almost certainly going to be to a religious woman. Just not too religious.
Rhiam Aldam and Rhoss
06-07-2005, 15:01
My first concern when considering marrying someone would not be his religion. Since I can only marry anyone I would wish marry in three countries at the moment, and since the penalty for my sexual orientation is death in many countries and is certainly frowned upon by such "minuscule" religons as Catholic Christianity and Islam, I think those religions are pretty much out.
But since I'm a Jediist, it's very restricting to marry only within my own religion.
Squirrel Nuts
06-07-2005, 15:12
Ahh but sometimes that difference completes the whole.
Yeah no I just don't want to be with someone who I think is an idiot because deep down that's exactly what I think of religious people. I don't mean to make anyone mad so I normally keep that to myself.

Come to think of it, I have only one friend who is even remotely religious and he's nonpracticing.
Tekania
06-07-2005, 15:26
I was Jewish at the time. There were several "ex-Jews" there who had plenty of intolerance.

Not to mention the minister, who always took the time to remind me how intolerant Jews are, and what miserable people they are.

Later, when I became a Pentacostal, that was the living end. There was a constant put-down of Jesus and God whenever I was around - I didn't have to say anything at all.

They were universally intolerant. The minister also took pains to explain to me that professing my individual belief was offensive to others.

On an interesting news note, a group of Unitarian's in Virginia, recently broke with the UU, and founded the AUA (American Unitarian Association), mostly because they were diests suffering intollerance from UU congregations over their actual belief in a "God" of sorts... The group also took several Unitarian Christians with them.

It is kind of funny that intollerance would surface in the UU... But not too surprising. Odly enough, the UU is presently suing the AUA over use of the name; since the UUA (Unitarian Universalist Association) was an official merging of two seperate groups, The AUA and UCA....

Seems like the "tollerant" have problems with "Tollerance"...
Whispering Legs
06-07-2005, 15:32
On an interesting news note, a group of Unitarian's in Virginia, recently broke with the UU, and founded the AUA (American Unitarian Association), mostly because they were diests suffering intollerance from UU congregations over their actual belief in a "God" of sorts... The group also took several Unitarian Christians with them.

It is kind of funny that intollerance would surface in the UU... But not too surprising. Odly enough, the UU is presently suing the AUA over use of the name; since the UUA (Unitarian Universalist Association) was an official merging of two seperate groups, The AUA and UCA....

Seems like the "tollerant" have problems with "Tollerance"...

The tenor of some of their services was really strange. I remember that it usually began with someone getting up and lighting a candle and ringing a small bell, and then telling their personal story. This usually followed the pattern you see in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings ("My name is xxx, and I'm an alcoholic") except that it was "My name is xxx, and I used to be <fill in name of religion>".

They talked about their old religion as though it was some evil disease, and this was met by clapping hands. Some of them got really worked up talking about their previous religion.

Understandably, I had a problem there because I wasn't a refugee from being dissatisfied with my previous religion.
Intangelon
06-07-2005, 15:34
To directly answer the thread's title question:

Yes. Why wouldn't I?

If I love someone, I love the whole person, including their religion. The whole debate over whether to marry someone just because of their religion is incredibly petty. You should know the religion of the person you marry -- presumably they were of that religion when you met. So unless, through the course of the relationship, you discover that one or the other's faith is already very tenuous or shaky, what you have is conditional love, and that's nothing upon which you can expect to build a lasting relationship.
Sarkasis
06-07-2005, 15:40
Here are my headlines:
"Liberal Protestant marries Inactive Catholic."

LOL
It worked... although her parents were unhappy with the short ceremony at the church (I had requested that there would be no eucharist). Anyway there were Muslims, Protestants, Jewish, and Atheists at the ceremony as well, so it was easier that way.
Household Cats
06-07-2005, 15:53
Here are my headlines:
"Liberal Protestant marries Inactive Catholic."

LOL
It worked... although her parents were unhappy with the short ceremony at the church (I had requested that there would be no eucharist). Anyway there were Muslims, Protestants, Jewish, and Atheists at the ceremony as well, so it was easier that way.

My husband is also an inactive Catholic. I lucked out and didn't have to ask them not to do the eucharist. As I am not baptised, they have a rule against it in Catholic ceremonies. So I was able to have it my way and say "not my fault!" to his side of the family. :)
UberPenguinLand
06-07-2005, 15:55
Wow. I thought that christians are only allowed to marry other christians in the church. Good job on making that decision though. Science is a good thing. Sure it can fall into the wrong hands, but that's a human flaw. We can't blame science for our egotistical power-crazy ways.

Nope. I suppose certain churches wouldn't like it, but I would find one that did, or just have a friend do one of those internet courses that let you perform marraiges.
El Caudillo
06-07-2005, 16:01
Yes, I would. I'm a Christian (Protestant, no specific branch) and my g.f. is a Buddhist. So, yes, I would marry someone of a different religion.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 16:01
Wow. I thought that christians are only allowed to marry other christians in the church.

Curiously enough, in some Catholic parishes, they make you jump through MORE hoops to marry a NON-Catholic Christian than a non-Christian altogether.

Why? 'Cause the non-Catholic should, (not my words or belief) 'know better.'
UberPenguinLand
06-07-2005, 16:03
Curiously enough, in some Catholic parishes, they make you jump through MORE hoops to marry a NON-Catholic Christian than a non-Christian altogether.

Why? 'Cause the non-Catholic should, (not my words or belief) 'know better.'
Luckily, I'm an ELCA Lutheran(Though I don't really get denominations), the people who brought you Davey and Goliath. And congrats on 5,000 posts!
UpwardThrust
06-07-2005, 16:04
Agnostic but yes
Tarakaze
06-07-2005, 16:09
I could marry a Catholic or Orthodox person, perhaps a Muslim if they were nice, but I dont think I could bring myself to marry a pagan of any sort. What can I say, Im a horrible theoist. Sue me.

Is it too intrusive to ask why not?



I probably would, just not a 'blind' Christian - the type that believes every line of the Bible is true. Even the contradictions and misspellings.
Sarkasis
06-07-2005, 16:20
Curiously enough, in some Catholic parishes, they make you jump through MORE hoops to marry a NON-Catholic Christian than a non-Christian altogether.
Certainly not here, in Quebec. LOL
Our whole marriage preparation course was oriented in a "generic Christian way".

Nothing too specific about rites; mostly moral considerations and drawing links between our faith and our lives, and sketching future plans. It was overall a very interesting course, very useful too. Topics included: raising kids, communicating, solving problems, managing the couple AND the kids, avoiding final failure (divorce), getting old together, what to do after the kids are gone,...

To have a Catholic marriage, you only need 1 "certified" (LOL) Catholic in the couple. If the other isn't Christian, they'll make sure his/her beliefs make some sense. But that shouldn't be a problem.
Vimeria
06-07-2005, 16:35
I have no doubt that a relationship between people of different faiths can work, but only if both respect the beliefs of eachother. Being an atheist myself, I wouldn't have any problem being with a girl who's religious, but if she persisted on claiming that I was wrong and I'd go to hell, then that would be a problem. Of course, if I kept ridiculing her beliefs and calling them primitive folklore, then that would be just as much of a problem.
Laerod
06-07-2005, 16:38
Are there any religions which prohibit marriage outside of that particular religion? Would you marry someone from another religion? Please specify what religion you are and how religious you are. I'd be perfectly happy marrying somebody that isn't an Atheist. In fact I'd rather marry a Christian than an Atheist. I do have some Christian friends that would only consider being with another Christian though. Is it wrong to wish only to marry within your religion?
It's not wrong to want to marry someone of the same faith. It helps reduce friction in a relationship by defusing one volatile issue. But personally I wouldn't make it a critereon for choosing a partner.
Kiwi-kiwi
06-07-2005, 16:53
Maybe, but I actually think it might be a probably not, depending on HOW religious they are. I mean, it's not that I have anything against people for being religious, but there's one friend I have and she and I have a lot in common, but when she brings up expressly religious things (especially those I don't agree with) it makes me uncomfortable, and I'm afraid of offending her in some way. So I don't think I could carry out a romantic relationship having to deal with that.
Alien Born
06-07-2005, 16:54
I did.
Neo Rogolia
06-07-2005, 16:57
I can imagine marrying someone from any religion, excluding Satanism and atheism. Agnosticism is ok, since they know that it is impossible to exclude the existence of a deity, but atheists have their mind made up, so it would only lead to strife.
Hadesofunderworld
06-07-2005, 17:02
well, if they were willing to accept my religion, I'd be able to accept theirs
UberPenguinLand
06-07-2005, 17:03
I can imagine marrying someone from any religion, excluding Satanism and atheism. Agnosticism is ok, since they know that it is impossible to exclude the existence of a deity, but atheists have their mind made up, so it would only lead to strife.

Not all Athiests are out to kill religion. I know plenty of nice Athiets who just never got involved in religion. It's like saying all Christians hate science and non-Christians, and want to destroy them. It's only a few, and those few are the most vocal.
Laerod
06-07-2005, 17:06
Not all Athiests are out to kill religion. I know plenty of nice Athiets who just never got involved in religion. It's like saying all Christians hate science and non-Christians, and want to destroy them. It's only a few, and those few are the most vocal.
Considering Neo Rogolia's reactions to some issues, I think the pledge not to marry an atheist isn't such a bad idea...
[NS]Ihatevacations
06-07-2005, 17:11
I can imagine marrying someone from any religion, excluding Satanism and atheism. Agnosticism is ok, since they know that it is impossible to exclude the existence of a deity, but atheists have their mind made up, so it would only lead to strife.
Atheism in and of itself is not a religion damnit >_<

I wouldn't want to marry some militant christian who would alwyas be trying to throw down subtle hints about how i sohuld go to church and pray or how im going to hell or something
UberPenguinLand
06-07-2005, 17:13
Considering Neo Rogolia's reactions to some issues, I think the pledge not to marry an atheist isn't such a bad idea...

Like what? Just curious.
Laerod
06-07-2005, 17:16
Like what? Just curious.
Look for other posts made by Neo Rogolia. It would be hard for an atheist to remain in his/her prescence without going crazy.
Horrible Shenanigans
06-07-2005, 17:27
I marry someone from another religion, on one rule. Dont try to force me to go, you can ask occasionally but dont end up giving me an ultimatum between what I believe and my marriage.
Saxnot
06-07-2005, 17:34
Depends what religion, and/or how fundamentalist/evangelical they are. I tend not to even go out with religious people though.
Neo Rogolia
06-07-2005, 17:35
Look for other posts made by Neo Rogolia. It would be hard for an atheist to remain in his/her prescence without going crazy.



Tell that to my boyfriend :p
Legless Pirates
06-07-2005, 17:38
Yeah.....and discuss it thouroughly
Clovers and Luck
06-07-2005, 17:44
I've been with the same guy for about three years now (we aren't married however =p) and he is jewish and I'm atheist. We have lots of fun theological discussions but it's never a problem.
Ice Hockey Players
06-07-2005, 19:08
I am an agnostic and engaged to a Catholic who is absolutely convinced of the existence of God. She's not super-religious or ceremonious, and she doesn't always agree with the Church, but she absolutely believes in God and has mislabeled me an "atheist" for doubting the existence of God.

We challenge each other's beliefs, and she has made no efforts to convert me. She has kicked around the idea of being married by a Catholic priest, but I told her there is no way I am marrying her in a Catholic church or any other church. She's pretty much relented on that issue.

Frankly I think I was a breath of fresh air for her when we got together, considering her previous boyfriend was a hard-core Baptist who refused to take medication on the grounds that God would cure him. (Did I mention he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer?) I imagine he would have tired to convert her, whereas there's pretty much no way I would win the whole religious argument, since I almost never go to church anymore and my knowledge of Christianity is largely due to my academic and popular knowledge of it.
Roshni
06-07-2005, 19:14
Ima marry within my religion.
The Black Forrest
06-07-2005, 19:17
Considering Neo Rogolia's reactions to some issues, I think the pledge not to marry an atheist isn't such a bad idea...

Oh yea! I forgot about her. I will have to ammend my original statement to say no fundis. ;)
Haloman
06-07-2005, 19:24
Very interesting thread.

Most likely I'll marry a Christian, I guess it's important to me to marry someone with similar beliefs.

At the very least, I'd like to marry someone who posessed a belief in God.
-Everyknowledge-
06-07-2005, 19:26
I don't consider myself a part of any organized religion, but if I loved someone enough to seriously consider marrying them, at that point, religion would not matter.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 19:28
Luckily, I'm an ELCA Lutheran(Though I don't really get denominations), the people who brought you Davey and Goliath. And congrats on 5,000 posts!

I loved Davey and Goliath as a kid! Hmm, maybe that's why my future matron of honor is a Lutheran. ;)

Whoa! Honestly hadn't noticed I made it to 5000! Thanks!
The Floating Nation
06-07-2005, 19:31
I'm a Universalist (*not* affiliated with UU or any church intolerant or otherwise :p ) from a Buddhist background, and my wife is... well, sort of agnostic with a favoritism for Baha'i faith. She was disenchanted with her protestant church growing up. We have great arguments and discussions, without hitches in our actual relationship.
Intangelon
06-07-2005, 19:32
Ihatevacations']Atheism in and of itself is not a religion damnit >_<
--snip--


Sorry, but yes it is. Lookk at definition #5 from dictionary.com:

re·li·gion
n.

1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.
2. A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship.
3. The life or condition of a person in a religious order.
4. A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.
5. A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.

And please don't come back with that "it's the fifth definition so it doesn't matter" crap. If it makes the definition (unless there's a label like archaic after the number) it matters.

Atheism has its own dogma, literature, etc. There it is.
[NS]Ihatevacations
06-07-2005, 19:35
Sorry, but yes it is. Lookk at definition #5 from dictionary.com:

5. A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.
Atheism, IN AND OF ITSELF, is not a religion.

Militant atheism or ATHEIST religions are a religion. Not believing in a god or gods is not religion by any definition.

I dare you to define atheist dogma...
-Everyknowledge-
06-07-2005, 19:37
Sorry, but yes it is. Lookk at definition #5 from dictionary.com:

re·li·gion
n.

1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.
2. A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship.
3. The life or condition of a person in a religious order.
4. A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.
5. A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.

And please don't come back with that "it's the fifth definition so it doesn't matter" crap. If it makes the definition (unless there's a label like archaic after the number) it matters.

Atheism has its own dogma, literature, etc. There it is.
Wrong. Atheism is not a religion, but rather, a lack of one. Your highlighted defintion is far too vague to remain relevant.
Alacgonia
06-07-2005, 19:38
I need a person to share my own beliefs, yet I'm not really religous at all. I get into theology discussions and such, but I don't think they really have any affect on real life.

As long as the person I'm with is a good moral person, it doesnt matter what religon they are. But I couldn't have the person I'm with looking down at me or hopping that I would one day convert to their religion, because it wouldn't happen.

I would also say that any kids that come out of the relationship become the same religon as the mother, I think thats how its always been done.

:gundge:
Le Franada
06-07-2005, 19:41
I would marry someone outside my religion; however, they would have to be respectful of my beliefs and not try to convert me or if we had children, not dismiss my beliefs to the children. I am a Deist and I have dated Christians before that have tried to convert me, and there are few things that turn me off more. I have read the Bible and my mother is Christian and I have been to many different churches because religion fascinates me so I do understand the beliefs of Christianity and don’t appreciate it when they tell me I am wrong using argument I have had many times now. It is not just Christians that I have had that problem with though, I dated an atheist once that I am stupid for being in a higher power, and after that I ended the relationship quickly as the Christians that did the same. I would not convert to just please someone else either; it would be a lie to myself and the person I was married to.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 19:42
Sorry, but yes it is. Lookk at definition #5 from dictionary.com:

Dictionary.com is actually a rather poor one. I suggest www.m-w.com instead. (Merriam Webster Dictionary) It is affiliated with the Encyclopaedia Britannica.
Cardinalum
06-07-2005, 19:49
I will never ever marry. I wish to become a clergyman. :)
Aquira
06-07-2005, 19:51
I personally hover between agnostic and atheist. Many of my friends and relatives are religious or spiritual, and I could see myself sharing my life with someone who was. However, for me to make such a commitment to someone in the first place, we'd probably have to have a lot in common. Odds are the person would also be agnostic or atheist. I'm not ruling anyone else out, but I won't fool myself into thinking it's not a big deal for me.

Interesting thread, BTW.
Emiliania
06-07-2005, 19:52
I am a Lutheran who is seriously involved with a another Christian boy. I am very liberal and he is ultra-conservative. This may not seem as serious as marrying outside your religion, but we often have to call truces and when we are together we refrain form discussing politics and religion (he lets his faith dictate his politics while I try not to). Anyway, he makes me very happy and I think that is the goal in a relationship.
Aquira
06-07-2005, 19:54
This may not seem as serious as marrying outside your religion, but we often have to call truces and when we are together we refrain form discussing politics and religion (he lets his faith dictate his politics while I try not to).I totally agree with this. For me, political views are much more important than religious views, and the kind of extremely conservative political views I personally could never stand in a partner often go along with that person's religious beliefs.
Dempublicents1
06-07-2005, 19:58
I am Christian, but in a long-term relationship with an atheist. We will most likely get married. We have some of the most interesting religious discussions I have ever had, because we both respect the view of the other.
Sabbatis
06-07-2005, 21:22
I am a Christian, now married to a Christian for many years. Happily, and with children who are now grown.

While I completely agree that one should marry from the heart, I think there are potential problems that may appear later in marriage. When the rosy glow of new marriage wears off, when there are children, when you are working hard for your family and there's never enough time... and then some of life's catatrophes come along.

Many people find solace in their faith when unemployment, financial problems, illness, personal crisis, etc. strike. All things that cause fear and uncertainty.

How will you and your spouse face hard times if your entire value system is different? Can you easily make difficult decisions involving life-changing matters when you see the world so differently? Remember, it's not a democracy - there's two people and no majority vote, so you have to resolve this equitably. And due to issues of faith you may have opposing views on the biggest issue in your life.

Please don't read this as an argument against committing in marriage to someone of different faith, or no faith. But please consider the issue, use your imagination and consider carefully if you and your to-be can cooperatively decide on horrific issues - unemployment, losing a home, cancer in a child, etc. Can you sustain your commitment to marriage over time if your views diverge? That does happen - people change.

I believe that you can do the above, but that marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly. And the above is just one consideration before making a serious commitment. I wish you all the best when you do decide - it is wonderful thing, rumors to the contrary.
Ealdwode
07-07-2005, 03:05
Granted, I'm in no place to be talking about marriage, seeing as how I've never even had a girlfriend before. But I am a Catholic (devout with a strong faith according to friends and family, though I have disagreements with the Church) so marrying outside of the faith would be a struggle.

Not that I wouldn't. I find arguing with women--especially feminists and super liberals--to be highly stimulating. And any theological debates with those of the fairer sex, be they Fundi, atheist, Hindu, Muslim, or even Jedi, would be very interesting.

But I do have a tendency to get overly upset or defensive about my faith. This is a weakness of mine, and will be resolved. In short, of course I would. Once we fully understood our religious differences and accepted each other fully, it would simply be a matter of jumping through all the hoops the Church demands. And there are quite a few, though I don't know all of them. I just hope she will be strong enough to jump through them with me.

Or you know...I could just get married outside the Church. That could have interesting results...

Edit: And just so everyone reading this is aware: Telling someone they're going to hell is a turn-off for anyone, as well as downright rude. Remember, God tells us not to judge. Not to keep us humble. Just because He's better at it.
Ravea
07-07-2005, 03:24
Yer damn right I would! If we liked each other enough to get married, I don't think religion would get in the way.
Pantalonystan
07-07-2005, 03:47
If I truly loved that person, it probably wouldn't matter what their religious beliefs are, but that's just me.
Bohemian Protectorate
07-07-2005, 03:58
Im not that religous and I realy dont like discussing it casually. So it wouldnt realy bother me unless they were to overzealous. Religon is a good thing in small dossages. these people are fanatics cause alot of problems. So yes i would marry someone outside my religon and even attend the churchs and whatnot but I wouldnt want them to make a big deal about it.
Gnesios
07-07-2005, 04:14
as a Christian, i could only marry a woman who is also a Christian.
"do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers"


As a Christian I would prefer if you use scripture in context. That passage is speaking of buisness partnering. As for not marrying an unbeliver look to First Corinthians 7:16 No I did not and would not consider marrying a non Christian. If I am to have children I would prefer that their parents be unified on all fronts that affect their life in a big way and it is my belief that your religion, or lack there of, affects people in a big way. i.e. eternity
Holyawesomeness
07-07-2005, 04:43
Her religion would have to be one that I could agree with. I could probably agree with the Judeo-christain religions due to the fact that I have been taught to believe that I am a christian(a bit less taught to be one) so any shift within that group of religions would not be too extreme for me to convert(they are all monotheistic). As long as I did not see a problem in one partner converiting there would be no problem and if one partner would not convert then I would not marry them because that would represent a major ideological divide that could possible damage my offspring.
The Pacifist Monarchy
07-07-2005, 05:04
Personally, I wouldn't have a huge problem marrying someone who is religious, considering that I am not. Though I doubt that it would ever happen, I can see myself being with someone of that nature. However, I would have a problem being different from her like that, expecially for the sake of our children. She would have to give up her faith or, more likely, I'd have to adopt hers, even if I don't really believe in it.

Of course, raising a child under two completly different religious views is bound to develop their tolerance of spiritual diversity. Still, I reckon I'd like to go to the same heaven as my wife and kids after I die, even if that means sacraficing some of my principles. I generally assume that by the end, everthing will work itself out, and everyone will be properly taken care of. But it's simply not worth risking losing my loved ones over. If that's what goes on up there.
Bushanomics
07-07-2005, 18:43
I'm bush like. I married someone who wasn't the same religon as me. I'm southern baptist, which is how I got elected twice I think I was elected twice, and my wife is a baptist. So you see the big difference here. So in other words were both christians but, she is of a different religion of christianity than I am. Thus the names. Let me break it down for you even further, you see I'm so smart I forget that people often times dont understand what I'm saying, you got God right. At least I think its God. Well anyway thats not important, you got God and theres different buildings for God. Because sometimes he likes the wallpaper on other better. Let me break it down for you even further. Jesus, me, wife. Got it. Good, thats why I'm president.
Dakini
07-07-2005, 18:46
I'm agnostic, thus not really religious at all.

I woudl get married to a religious person so long as they don't make a fuss about having a wedding completley devoid of religion.
The Similized world
07-07-2005, 19:29
Not all Athiests are out to kill religion. I know plenty of nice Athiets who just never got involved in religion. It's like saying all Christians hate science and non-Christians, and want to destroy them. It's only a few, and those few are the most vocal.
Yea.. I don't treat people based on their religion unless they do it themselves.

I'll most likely never marry. Not unless I'm forced to do so because of rediculous laws or because I have children. But I have nothing against religious people. I'll be with anyone I like, for as long as both of us like it. Religion is a non-issue. Outside NS and occational nutcases who seek me out for no reason, I never discuss it. I can't relate to religion, but I don't see why I would have to.

I'll most likely never date anyone who's very religious & outspoken about it. I doubt people can have that kind of faith and still have any appeal to me.
UberPenguinLand
07-07-2005, 19:34
I'm bush like. I married someone who wasn't the same religon as me. I'm southern baptist, which is how I got elected twice I think I was elected twice, and my wife is a baptist. So you see the big difference here. So in other words were both christians but, she is of a different religion of christianity than I am. Thus the names. Let me break it down for you even further, you see I'm so smart I forget that people often times dont understand what I'm saying, you got God right. At least I think its God. Well anyway thats not important, you got God and theres different buildings for God. Because sometimes he likes the wallpaper on other better. Let me break it down for you even further. Jesus, me, wife. Got it. Good, thats why I'm president.
:confused: Please, please, please say that was a joke. I have no F'ing clue what you just said. Were you RPing GWB?
-Everyknowledge-
07-07-2005, 19:37
:confused: Please, please, please say that was a joke. I have no F'ing clue what you just said. Were you RPing GWB?
Bushanomics is kinda wierd. I haven't figured out if he is a troll or what.
Pterodonia
07-07-2005, 19:40
Are there any religions which prohibit marriage outside of that particular religion? Would you marry someone from another religion? Please specify what religion you are and how religious you are. I'd be perfectly happy marrying somebody that isn't an Atheist. In fact I'd rather marry a Christian than an Atheist. I do have some Christian friends that would only consider being with another Christian though. Is it wrong to wish only to marry within your religion?

I think it makes for a more harmonious relationship if you stay within your own religion or non-religion, as the case may be. Particularly if one partner is Christian (pretty much any variety), and the other isn't, as the Christian will focus most of his/her energy trying to convert the other to his/her particular brand of Christianity. This is pretty much guaranteed to cause friction in a marriage.
Dempublicents1
07-07-2005, 19:57
Particularly if one partner is Christian (pretty much any variety), and the other isn't, as the Christian will focus most of his/her energy trying to convert the other to his/her particular brand of Christianity.

What a lovely stereotype.

Does it make it easier on you to fit people into neat little boxes, whether they actually belong there or not?
The Similized world
07-07-2005, 19:59
Bushanomics is kinda wierd. I haven't figured out if he is a troll or what.
Really?! He's my personal NS hero :D

Gotta love a shrub with humour
Pterodonia
07-07-2005, 20:03
What a lovely stereotype.

Does it make it easier on you to fit people into neat little boxes, whether they actually belong there or not?

This is the type of behavior I almost invariably see from Christians (I'm saying "almost", although I can't really think of an exception right now). I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em.
UberPenguinLand
07-07-2005, 20:04
This is the type of behavior I almost invariably see from Christians (I'm saying "almost", although I can't really think of an exception right now). I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em.

I've never tried to force someone to convert.
Dempublicents1
07-07-2005, 20:12
I've never tried to force someone to convert.

Nor have I, or even tried to nag them into it.
The Similized world
07-07-2005, 20:36
I think it makes for a more harmonious relationship if you stay within your own religion or non-religion, as the case may be. Particularly if one partner is Christian (pretty much any variety), and the other isn't, as the Christian will focus most of his/her energy trying to convert the other to his/her particular brand of Christianity. This is pretty much guaranteed to cause friction in a marriage.
That will depend a lot on the culture you come from. Let's just pretend I'm German for a moment. If I form a relationship with a German guy/gal, s/he's almost certain to be a Christian of some sort.
But s/he's also almost certain to be so moderate about it, that we wont actually know eachother's religious inclinations untill we've been dating for a year.
Sure the person will probably be upset if I try to force my atheist veiws on it, just like I would if I got religion showed down my throat.. But it's a pretty good bet that s/he won't be the one who starts preaching.

I suppose it's a lot different in yankeland, but then, your culture is not the same.
Lashie
08-07-2005, 07:48
I don't think i would marry someone that's not Christian for two reasons:

One is a Bible verse i've already seen here "Do not be unequally yoked..." (don't know the exact wording)

and simply that I don't think I would cope. The person wouldn't believe in the most important part of my life... i can't see that working out well... :(
Greedy Pig
08-07-2005, 08:12
Religion plays a very large role in my life. From my lifestyle to my beliefs and ethics. I don't think I can marry a person of another religion and be happy.

So I'd rather not marry a girl of another religion.
Boonytopia
08-07-2005, 08:25
Religion really plays no part in my life, so it's a complete non-issue for me.
The Mindset
08-07-2005, 10:04
Yeah, sure, if the religion let me marry my boyfriend, of course.
Castleford
08-07-2005, 10:14
My grandad had to change religion from Catholic to Church of England before he could marry my grandmother so that's how religion can bite you.
Harlesburg
08-07-2005, 10:22
Yes but they would have to convert.
Pterodonia
08-07-2005, 13:48
That will depend a lot on the culture you come from. Let's just pretend I'm German for a moment. If I form a relationship with a German guy/gal, s/he's almost certain to be a Christian of some sort.
But s/he's also almost certain to be so moderate about it, that we wont actually know eachother's religious inclinations untill we've been dating for a year.
Sure the person will probably be upset if I try to force my atheist veiws on it, just like I would if I got religion showed down my throat.. But it's a pretty good bet that s/he won't be the one who starts preaching.

I suppose it's a lot different in yankeland, but then, your culture is not the same.

German culture suddenly sounds very refreshing. It kind of reminds me of the household I grew up in (before my mother turned into a rabid fundamentalist Christian, which, thankfully, wasn't until I was grown and gone). Do you know that to this day, I have no idea what my father's religious beliefs are or if he even has any? Not that my father and I ever really talked much about anything, but religion just wasn't discussed much in my childhood home. The same goes for one of my sisters - we never really discussed our religious beliefs with one another! Now my other sister - a semi-rabid fundie - makes her religious beliefs known to all, as does my mother, and practically everyone else on my mother's side of the family, who are also a bunch of rabid fundies. My mother is well known for sending me extremely long, disconnected, illogical, proselytizing e-mails - real prize-winners. My youngest sister has also sent me her share of proselytizing e-mails, though she's not even close to being in the same class as my mother.

This is what I constantly have to put up with from the Christians in my personal life, so maybe you can see why I absolutely HATE Christianity. And if you still can't understand it, maybe I'll dig up one of my mother's e-mails where she's telling me how much I love, worship and obey Satan (a being from the Christian pantheon that I obviously don't even believe in) and post it in its agonizing entirety (is there a character limit on these posts, by the way?). You'd have to be extremely thick not to get it at that point.
Commie Catholics
08-07-2005, 13:54
This thread has been around longer than I intended it to be. Is there any chance that you could all just not post on it and let it die?
Lashie
09-07-2005, 10:58
If you want this thread to be finished then ask the mods to lock it... otherwise, i'm going to add one last point,

I don't think yuo really can change religion for someone else, if you don't believe it, then you don't believe it, loving a person isn't going to change that... :rolleyes:
Freedomfrize
09-07-2005, 11:03
Well, as a christian woman I wouln't have to convert to marry a Muslim man (provided I would like to marry someone who considers me an inferior creature, which is unlikely) and converting to judaism is near to impossible, the orthodox way at least, so the question hasn't much sense.
LazyHippies
09-07-2005, 11:08
Are there any religions which prohibit marriage outside of that particular religion? Would you marry someone from another religion? Please specify what religion you are and how religious you are. I'd be perfectly happy marrying somebody that isn't an Atheist. In fact I'd rather marry a Christian than an Atheist. I do have some Christian friends that would only consider being with another Christian though. Is it wrong to wish only to marry within your religion?

Jehovahs Witnesses prohibit marriage outside of their religion. I would guess Amish do too, but dont know a lot about them.

I would not marry someone outside my religion. I am very active in ministry and my wife would have to be very active as well for our marriage to work out. Also, my children are to be raised in my religion and this would probably bring problems if my wife didnt agree. In any case, it isnt a very big deal because I have little in common with women of different religions, so the situation where there is one I am interested in marrying probably would not come up.

I dont think its wrong to marry only within your religion. Actually, it is very wise. Arguments over religion lead to divorce quite often.
Butiful
09-07-2005, 11:41
im a christian and would have a problem marrying some1 not from my religion or with no religion at all although i would have more problem marrying a catholic as i was told in the catholic school that i went to that if you want to marry a catholic you must have a catholic ceremony and promise to have children and bring them up catholics,i wouldnt be prepared to do that.
Antanjyl
09-07-2005, 12:32
I'm Buddhist, I CAN marry anyone, but I still have a few beliefs that come from christianity I guess. Also I've been thinking of becoming a Buddhist Monk, but thats besides the point. Anyone I marry would have to be tolerant of other people, besides that anything else is ok.
Perkeleenmaa
09-07-2005, 13:19
I would never marry any theist, or anyone who is religious.

First off, that kind of conformists who can't think for themselves but believe what has been doctrinated on them aren't good companions for me. It's a sign of an unpleasant personality trait. I'd get nagged at constantly for not doing "as told". Or not conforming to the roles and ideas her parents would expect.

Second, she would definitely start using the religion as a weapon, if we got into some kind of disagreement. I can't stand the irrational arguments, that "it's my opinion and so you can't contest it" attitude. She would be a disaster waiting to happen.

Third, I'd have to conform to her ideas or else I'd be a heathen sinner or something in her eyes.

Fourth, I'd be looking down on her, because she's so stupid. This is just a gut feeling. I don't look down on religious people who are strangers, because their religion usually doesn't affect me at all. Her religion would.

I'd go a religious wedding, because that's just a ceremony.
Einsteinian Big-Heads
09-07-2005, 13:55
The Official Catholic Teaching on this subject:

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a nonbaptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority. In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage. This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage and the obligations assumed by the Catholic party concerning the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

-The Catechism of the Catholic Church, sections 1633-1637.

I have put my future vocation firmly in the hands of God: If he calls me to marry any certain person then nothing, religion included, will stand in my way. Indeed, the struggle this may constitute will, in the end, make the union all the more worth it. For this reason, I believe it is stupid for people, especially Christians, to predispose a relationship to doom because their potential partner does not share there religious ideals: The search for your soul mate is guided by God, and anyone who gives up on God's plan because they fear the challenge may want to take a long, hard look at their convictions.
Tarakaze
09-07-2005, 16:17
I don't think yuo really can change religion for someone else, if you don't believe it, then you don't believe it, loving a person isn't going to change that...

You can convert though - you don't need to believe, really.
Lashie
10-07-2005, 07:40
You can convert though - you don't need to believe, really.

Depends what you mean by convert... I think it's a pretty stupid idea to "convert" and say you believe something you don't...

For this reason, I believe it is stupid for people, especially Christians, to predispose a relationship to doom because their potential partner does not share there religious ideals: The search for your soul mate is guided by God, and anyone who gives up on God's plan because they fear the challenge may want to take a long, hard look at their convictions.

Yeah I get what you mean by that (if you read the previous page, i'm guessing this comment was directed to me... :D ), and if I thought God was leading me to someone who wasn't Christian then I guess I'd just ignore previous comments I've made and be spending alot of time in prayer... (it wasn't because I don't think that God could make things work that I wrote whatever it was I wrote)
Whittier--
10-07-2005, 07:55
Though I am God's Gift to Women, the women who marry me, do not have to bow before me. Nor are they obligated to build me a temple.
Tarakaze
10-07-2005, 10:43
Depends what you mean by convert... I think it's a pretty stupid idea to "convert" and say you believe something you don't...

If you're not especially religious, then there's no harm in being baptised and going to church with your partner.
Einsteinian Big-Heads
10-07-2005, 11:51
Though I am God's Gift to Women, the women who marry me, do not have to bow before me. Nor are they obligated to build me a temple.

:D A man after my own heart!
Nevartha
10-07-2005, 11:55
I would prefer to marry someone Orthodox, as I am. I could consider someone from another denomination of Christianity. Honestly, though Orthodoxy and Catholicism look more alike than either looks like Protestantism, I think it would be much more difficult for me to marry a Catholic than to marry a Lutheran, Anglican, or Presbyterian. Though I don't think it's at all likely that I would marry someone who is not Christian at all, I also would probably rather marry a Buddhist than an Evangelical or Charismatic Christian. Some of the ordering of my preferences is likely unfair, and based more on personal bias than on what would be spiritually healthier for me. So it's subject to change, except that I would prefer to marry someone Orthodox overall.

I would not convert in order to marry someone, and I would rather lose a relationship with someone I love than ask them to convert falsely for the sake of marriage. I would actually question any offer to convert to Orthodoxy to make sure that it's because he really believes rather than just doing it to please me. That's not to say that I would discourage conversion — I would certainly welcome interest and encourage exploration, at least, if I were dating someone not Orthodox. But I think converting for the wrong reason would do much more harm than good.

The problem, from my perspective, with marrying someone whose religious beliefs differ too much is not about disagreements and arguing or fighting. It's not even about the difficulty of how to raise children. It's partly because religion has such a big effect on people's lifestyles, but mostly because I believe that the purpose of marriage in a Christian life is for two people to help lift each other up towards God and salvation, and that marriage in and of itself is the joining of two souls. Joining my soul to someone who has a very different concept of God and salvation (or who doesn't believe in God or salvation at all) would have a powerful and almost certainly hindering effect on my spiritual growth.
ChuChulainn
10-07-2005, 11:57
If you're not especially religious, then there's no harm in being baptised and going to church with your partner.

But would you really want to be married to someone who wouldnt have anything to do with you if you werent of the same religion
Einsteinian Big-Heads
10-07-2005, 12:07
But would you really want to be married to someone who wouldnt have anything to do with you if you werent of the same religion

That is another danger of Christians who will only get in a relationship with those of the same religion: you begin to consider people as potential partners solely because their religion would make the relationship easier.
Alinania
10-07-2005, 12:12
That is another danger of Christians who will only get in a relationship with those of the same religion: you begin to consider people as potential partners solely because their religion would make the relationship easier.
Well... yes. I generally look out for people who share some similar beliefs or at least where I know that differing beliefs won't result in us not getting along at all. It's like saying that you consider someone as a potential partner just because he speaks your language. Of course you do! (Not saying that there aren't people who are choosing to do exactly the opposite).
Offensive Language
10-07-2005, 12:19
;) Well... yes. I generally look out for people who share some similar beliefs or at least where I know that differing beliefs won't result in us not getting along at all. It's like saying that you consider someone as a potential partner just because he speaks your language. Of course you do! (Not saying that there aren't people who are choosing to do exactly the opposite).

I'm one of those opposite people. I would much rather marry someone who doesn't speak English. That way they wouldn't be able to understand all the stupid things that i say. ;)
Alinania
10-07-2005, 12:21
;)

I'm one of those opposite people. I would much rather marry someone who doesn't speak English. That way they wouldn't be able to understand all the stupid things that i say. ;)
you're a genious! a genious, I say!
then the whole having different religions thing wouldn't be a problem :D
Offensive Language
10-07-2005, 12:32
you're a genious! a genious, I say!
then the whole having different religions thing wouldn't be a problem :D

Exactly! All countries should pass a new law that forbids you to marry anyone who speaks the same language as you. Bliss... :p
Alinania
10-07-2005, 12:36
Exactly! All countries should pass a new law that forbids you to marry anyone who speaks the same language as you. Bliss... :p
So basically you could have 'womenspeak' and 'menspeak'. (not quite sure what to do with homosexuals yet, but we could figure something out...).
And there would be no more misunderstandings, because you don't expect your spouse to understand you in the first place ;)
Offensive Language
10-07-2005, 12:43
So basically you could have 'womenspeak' and 'menspeak'. (not quite sure what to do with homosexuals yet, but we could figure something out...).
And there would be no more misunderstandings, because you don't expect your spouse to understand you in the first place ;)

Man, the divorce rate would just plummet.
HotRodia
10-07-2005, 12:47
Why not marry someone from another religion, if that person is your soulmate?

I know that if a Catholic wishes to marry someone from another religion, the other person need not convert, but the children are expected to be raised as Catholics.

Personally, if both partners are religious, I would probably expose the kids to both religions and when they were a teen, say, it's up to you to choose one, none, or something else.

As usual, I essentially agree with Kat, but would like to clarify that it's not currently that the children are expected to be raised Catholic; it's that the Catholic parent is expected to make a good-faith effort to raise them as Catholics.
Tograna
10-07-2005, 12:48
I find that the exact oppisite is true. Ever discussed religion with somebody you're attracted to? It's really enjoyable, especially if they're passionate about it. Although it can get a bit much after a while I must admit. But in small doses...


It got me dumped lol
Alinania
10-07-2005, 12:49
Man, the divorce rate would just plummet.
And in order to avoid the kids to understand both languages (which would destroy everything) we'll send them to 'special institutions', of course separate institutions for girls and boys, where they are brought up just speaking one language and when they turn 18 (or so) they get to choose a person of the opposite sex (say, give them a bunch of pictures and they can choose one, or just let the government decide. since they don't understand each other anyways ;) )
*sigh*. It would be a happy place!!
Robertsilvania
10-07-2005, 12:59
My beliefs don't really fit into any official religion, but I'm closer to a Buddhist than anything else. I'm generally wary of people from most orthidox Christian sects, but I could marry one if I really loved her, unless she was a homophobe. There's nothing I hate more than homophobes. And, yes, I'm a guy.
Lashie
11-07-2005, 03:54
If you're not especially religious, then there's no harm in being baptised and going to church with your partner.

Maybe not for you, but your partner may disagree... :rolleyes:

I wouldn't say that going to church with your partner is a bad thing, but getting baptised even if you don't believe sounds stupid to me, but i guess it's you choice.
Tarakaze
11-07-2005, 20:06
England's a bit weird with that anyway, as most folk are baptised as babies and if they're serious about it/still Christian when grown up, they can get confirmed.

I mean, I'm no longer Christian, but I was baptised at so many months old anyway.

But would you really want to be married to someone who wouldnt have anything to do with you if you werent of the same religion
Not being the same religion isn't the same as hating other faiths. I mean, they'd know about my faith else that would be more of an honesty issue rather than conlict.
Dempublicents1
11-07-2005, 20:23
I would never marry any theist, or anyone who is religious.

First off, that kind of conformists who can't think for themselves but believe what has been doctrinated on them aren't good companions for me.

Yes, because anyone who believes differently from you just must have been indoctrinated. Nobody can think for themselves and come to a different conclusion that you, obviously. :rolleyes:

Second, she would definitely start using the religion as a weapon, if we got into some kind of disagreement. I can't stand the irrational arguments, that "it's my opinion and so you can't contest it" attitude. She would be a disaster waiting to happen.

Yes, because all religious people try and push their religion on others. No one can possibly believe in God and be rational. :rolleyes:

Third, I'd have to conform to her ideas or else I'd be a heathen sinner or something in her eyes.

Yes, because no religious person can ever agree to disagree. No religious person can ever admit that they just might be wrong. :rolleyes:

Fourth, I'd be looking down on her, because she's so stupid.

Ah, so anyone who disagrees with you is irrational and stupid. Good to know. :(


Ah, the stereotypes abound, eh? I'm so glad that some atheists can actually think for themselves and get to know someone before making snap judgements like the above.
Olantia
11-07-2005, 20:24
England's a bit weird with that anyway, as most folk are baptised as babies and if they're serious about it/still Christian when grown up, they can get confirmed.

...
BTW, does the Church of England allow its members to marry adherents of other faiths (e.g. Buddhism) in an Anglican church?
Dempublicents1
11-07-2005, 20:24
If you're not especially religious, then there's no harm in being baptised and going to church with your partner.

You mean other than the fact that you're lying?
Tarakaze
12-07-2005, 13:42
You mean other than the fact that you're lying?

Lying to whom, though?
Pterodonia
12-07-2005, 14:15
Lying to whom, though?

To everyone - but most importantly, to yourself!
Nimzonia
12-07-2005, 14:38
I probably would never marry someone religious. Religion is such a turn-off.


I agree entirely. I don't think I could get attached to someone who had that much of a different world view to me.
Gataway_Driver
12-07-2005, 15:07
as long as theres love tollerence will develop if its not already there so I don'tsee the problem